Day 40: The Night That Reset My Mindset - Back on track...sorta

Hey, okay, so today, day 40. This— it's been another extremely full day, and right now I am grateful to report that I felt a whole lot different today than I did yesterday and over the weekend. Now, I don't know what the deal is, except that I got into acceptance. You know, at some point last night, I recognized, okay, look, yesterday was just a rough day. So what about tomorrow? What can I do tonight before I, you know, get up in the morning Tuesday and like, you know, have to start another day? Do I want to wake up in the same place? Now, I believe, as I've discovered over the last 40 days— well, I guess this is day 40, so it is 40 days, duh— is that preparing myself for the next day starts the night before. In fact, it can start days before. It's kind of like I track my macros, and I have this little device that I blow into. It's called a Lumen, and it measures the carbon dioxide in my lungs, tells me what my body is burning, whether it's fat or carbs. And, you know, so some days— and this is kind of an aside, but I hope the analogy helps— some days, like if I'm blowing high carb burn, but I had, like, towards the end of the day, and I've had, like, almost no carbs, I'm like, what is going on? How can this be? But it's like, you know, what are the glycogen stores from the previous day, or the, you know, couple days before? Like it can be cumulative. So the same with prepping for my day, the same with my mental attitudes. Like, what has the previous day or the previous few hours, the previous week, you know, what are the circumstances and the events and the thoughts and the messages and the words that I spoke? How have those, you know, created a cumulative effect to how I'm I'm feeling. So, yesterday, like I said, it felt like a train wreck. It wasn't a train wreck, but it felt that way emotionally, physically. And so, last night, I set this intention, you know, tomorrow, I've got an extremely busy day. So, if I wake up early, instead of going to the gym, I'm going to start working. I'm going to start into my tasks. And sure enough, that's exactly what happened. I was up at 4 o'clock this morning. I could have gone to the gym because I didn't work out yesterday, but I chose to put that aside. I realized, see, there's, there's a part of me that feels like, man, if I don't work out, something's going to happen, right? And it's probably this judgment about like, I don't want to be out of shape. I don't want to be overweight. I want to look attractive. I want to be able to continually physically move. Most of it, I'm sure, is all about approval and wanting to look a certain way so that my wife finds me attractive and I find myself attractive. Deep stuff that we don't have time to go into here. But that's not true, right? Like, if I miss a day of working out— I mean, when I had hernia surgery a few years ago, I couldn't work out for a few weeks, right? And you bounce back. So I was making mountains out of molehills in my mind. So, I made this decision last night and sure enough, I woke up at 4 o'clock, maybe 4:15, and I came out and immediately started working on a client project that I had wanted to complete Friday and wanted to work on Sunday. And so, I just chunked through my day. Also, I made sure that I took all of the supplements that I normally take, the ashwagandha. I cut down on my coffee. I've been having like 21 grams of coffee once a day., and I cut that down to like, I think it was 9 yesterday— 9 this morning, not yesterday. Yeah, 9 this morning, but I had all the supplements, and, you know, I've gone through like multiple work projects, writing copy, Zoom meetings, committing to things today. I just finished a 2-hour HOA meeting that I'm part of the committee for here in my neighborhood. I also had to make a choice just to accommodate the work that was more important to not facilitate my men's group tonight. I called, I checked in with the guys and I said, you know, unfortunately I need to cancel tonight. Somebody else, you know, can please take over. You guys can please meet, but I need to— I don't like to say I get to, but I said I have other things that take priority right now. My group is not going to fall apart if I'm not leading it one week. You know, it's really more of a facilitation most of the time than leading it. So I made these decisions and, you know, 8 o'clock, 8 o'clock at night after this HOA meeting was over, dinner, which I don't like doing, but that's the way that it, the way that it is. And I'm going to work for another hour or so and then hopefully be in bed by 10:30. And tomorrow's another full day and I do have some anxiousness about all the things on my calendar. So I'm going to have to be discriminating before I go to bed and decide if I'm going to be able to fulfill all of the commitments that I made for tomorrow or if I'm going to have to do some renegotiating. So we'll see. Anyway, I don't know if this is helpful at all. I don't know if just like listening to me ramble about what's really going on and how I'm dealing with things is useful to you, but I would love to hear some feedback from anybody that's watching. You know, tell me what's going on in your life. Kind of how— what is your process? How do you deal with, you know, just the everyday, you know, tasks of getting through life? I think one of the things that's really important is having a goal and knowing, you know, what you're going after. That's super important. And I started this thing 40 days ago with the goal of really having a transformation in my thinking, right? And in the results that I create in my life because of how I think, how I speak, how I show up. And that— it's easy to lose sight of that. Oh, also, one of the things I didn't talk about today was I have like financial obligations that I am wrestling with completing right now because of issues with payment payments coming in, client payments. And that is, you know, that's something that really causes a lot of stress for me. Worry, fear, anxiety. Let's just call it what it is. And those kinds of things that I, when I perceive I can't control them, or if, you know, that ancient part of me, the little child that never knew whether things were going to be okay, you know, if that part of me is triggered, it can really throw me off. And this is where I get to manage my mind. So The last few days has really been an exercise in mind management. And who's faxing me at 9 o'clock at night? Yes, I have a fax machine. But it is, you know, like, it's— I know it's fundamentally important to be really dialed in to what my goals are, what my purpose is. And so there's something for me to focus on for tomorrow and maybe spend some time meditating on that. And that is the thing right now, the big— I guess one of the biggest battles that I have is the sense that I'm time bankrupt. Because I have so many tasks and obligations and commitments. So I get to work through that and come up with a way to frame it and walk through it that works for me. Okay, that's it for this video. Thanks for watching.