In this solo podcast episode recorded in his backyard, Tony Suriano shares three personal takeaways that together form a framework for getting back on track when life feels off. The first takeaway draws on a Tony Robbins principle that we choose the meaning we assign to events, what we focus on, and the actions we take. He illustrates this with a sauna anecdote where his positive, goal‑oriented state contrasts with another gym‑goer’s negative focus, showing how mindset shapes reactions and outcomes. The second takeaway explores how expectations can turn conversations into reactive, bitter exchanges, using a recent discussion about helping the homeless as a case study. He reflects on how he let expectations dictate his meaning of the interaction, leading to disappointment, and emphasizes the need to shift from reacting to responding. The third, bonus takeaway is a health‑focused habit: a cheat‑day dessert strategy inspired by Tim Ferriss’s "4‑Hour" books. Tony explains how he limits indulgence to a single day, consumes the entire treat, and discards leftovers to prevent ongoing temptation, linking this to overall well‑being and personal discipline. Throughout, he encourages listeners to examine their own focus, meanings, and actions, to move from reactive patterns to proactive, empowered living.
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Now, I don't think that was the best way to end that conversation on my part. My awareness, my takeaway is I'm the one that has the option to decide what things mean, to decide what to do and what to focus on. Hey, welcome into another podcast episode. I'm Tony Suriano, the host of the show, and in the background, if you're watching on YouTube, is My backyard. It's beautiful right now. We have trees, birds, everything's blooming, greenery. And I'm excited to do this podcast out here because often I'm inside. And if you can relate, we work inside, we edit, we design— any creative things starts inside. So we need to get outside more. That's why I'm here. And today I want to share 3 important things I've been learning this week. And the third one's really a bonus. It's something that I've known and sometimes I mess up, and that's what I did today. So stick around for that one. But getting into it, the first takeaway for this week is the philosophy that Tony Robbins taught me, and that is, you get to decide what things mean. You get to decide what to focus on and you get to decide what actions you take. So before I even go into that, there is a little story yesterday that happened. And what it is, is me going into the gym, getting back to working out, which is great because I've been off for 2 weeks. I've been doing a lot of walks, but you got to get in the gym and push your limits just enough so you can feel better because that's what it does when you push your limits. So I digress. After that workout, I went to the sauna, and I really love the sauna because it kind of forces me to meditate. I usually close my eyes, listen to some music, or have no music. But I get in there and it wasn't that hot. Surprising. And I sit down, and then this gentleman to the left of me starts complaining and yapping about how it's not hot, this thing's broken, this place sucks. This is the only reason I I pay for this gym membership. And my first thought was, dang, this doesn't happen all the time. Why are you so upset? Kind of crazy. And the reason I reacted or responded that way— he was really reacting— was that I was in a peak beautiful state because I just worked out. I was focusing on goals and my dreams while I work out, which is something I'm implementing now. And he must have had, I don't know, a shitty workout or some kind of weird attitude because his focus was how it's broken, and that turned into some infinite problem, as if this gym has it always broken. And then he put meaning to that, that this gym sucks. And then the actions he took were that of nothing, because I actually turned to him, I said, well, we should let them know, and that's it. And he said, no, I let them know about this little thing for working out and they never do it. It's a $10 part, they're not going to do anything. So he had this bad attitude towards it, and attitude is everything. I was in a good mood, and, uh, I was— although I was in a good mood, I, I had to resist because He then told the guy next to him, said, hey, pour some water on the, on the device that makes it hot. And I said, you shouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that because it's an electrical device. And then the guy next to me said, so it's already broken. Like, it's already broken. Who cares? Luckily, they didn't pour water on this electrical unit in the sauna that I was in, but I had to force myself to not step into my, hey, you better listen to me because you're pissing me off mode. Have you ever been in one of those? Because it's not going to help the situation. So I tried to be a little lighter with the conversation, and then he just said, I'm not going to stay in here, it's a waste of my time. And then he left. And I agreed, it wasn't hot enough to really get any benefits. But the real reason I shared that little anecdote is you get to decide what to focus on and what things mean and what to do. Now, after that sauna, I decided, let me let the front, the management know that the sauna is not functioning properly. And I said to them, hey, someone probably told you this, but the sauna is not functioning properly. And their response was, oh, I didn't know about that. So that guy must have not even bothered To tell them, which isn't going to get it fixed any faster. So my focus and my meaning and my actions came from my peak state of being in a good mood, working out, focusing on my goals. So the next time that you find yourself reacting, not being proactive, it's probably because you're not in a great state and you're just Focusing on the wrong things. Your meaning is negative and your actions are not helpful. That is number one takeaway. Now, the number 2 takeaway is I got a taste of my own medicine, if that's the phrase, because this morning I was having a conversation and I started the conversation light and positive. But it was about helping the homeless. And at this moment of the conversation, I wasn't able to help them the way I wanted. But basically the conversation was, if I had a chunk of money about this much, I wouldn't just give it to a donation program. I would try to find a social worker that could help me construct an idea to help that one person that really needs it. For a 6-month period, and then you repeat and you do it. Because it's hard to help a whole bunch of people a little bit, but if you focus on one person, you can change their life in 6 months. I know that's possible. And at this moment, I really couldn't do what I was wanting to do, but I was having this conversation, and my partner in this conversation didn't really expand on my idea. They were more like, well, you can't do that, so why even think about it? Um, you know, why don't you just call your Congress? And I, I don't know, I just, I had these expectations that we were going to go into this conversation and dream a little in the future. I'm not oblivious. I know you can talk a dream to death and never take action. And I know now that the person was mentioning, hey, why don't you do one small thing now? I get it. But I just— I think what happened is I shifted into a little reaction mode, and I then made up a meaning that didn't serve me or the other person. And I thought, this person's cutting down my idea. They don't want to jump in and expand it. Why is this person doing this? They don't want to be part of my conversation. So that was the meaning I gave it. didn't serve me or the other person. And I started focusing on the idea that, you know, this happens a little too frequently. I don't like that. And then my actions were a little bitter. They weren't that friendly at the end of the conversation. I apologized about an hour later that I could have just been a little more lighthearted and a little comical. But at the end of the conversation, I, I said, hey, You know, the next time I bring up something that's grandiose and it's positive, can you do me a favor? Like, let's, let's talk about it in a good way. Don't shut it down. And I don't want to end the conversation where I'm a little bit bitter. Now, I don't think that was the best way to end that conversation on my part. And what I did was I had expectation of the other person. That is A perfect recipe for disappointment. So my awareness, my takeaway is I'm the one that has the option to decide what things mean, to decide what to do and what to focus on. So my question back at you is, where in your life do you have to be more aware so you can start realizing, oh crap, I'm focusing on the wrong things? I am reacting, and I'm not taking action towards the empowering things I need to do, and I'm giving the wrong meaning to this situation. So you just need to ask better questions, right? What does this really mean? And I know it's hard in the moment. That's why it was hard for me in the moment. But my job and your job— if you're still listening here, you know this is your job— to just be the better you, to just work on yourself, continue personal development Continue to be a little more creative about how we have conversations, what meaning we bring to things, how we react, which really needs to become a response. And that's it. It's simple and straightforward. It's common sense that we want to respond and not react, but it's not common practice. So that's why we are here. That's why you're here, to just remember and refresh. And condition. That's what I need to do, and that's what I'm doing right here by just journaling this to you. I hope that resonates with you. If it does, let me know in the comments. If you're watching on YouTube, or even Spotify has comments now, I would love to know what you think. Any aha moments, let me know. And bonus number 3, this is something that relates to overall well-being in your life. And that is health. So I've been a health advocate for 20-plus years. I really started as a young child. My dad fortunately was into the health lifestyle and taught me a lot of stuff, inspired me to work on health. And it is work. It's constant conditioning and reason behind what and why do you want health in your life? What could you do if you're a little healthier in life? So why I even mentioned that is last night, after doing a lot of writing and accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish, I was just— I was a little hungry. I didn't have a big dinner. And instead of making a healthy second dinner or a little more of what I ate, I decided to go on a walk to this nearby gas station and, uh, I bought a cookie. I bought bananas covered in chocolate. Now, this was the better choice. They were dark chocolate. The cookie was a protein cookie. And my funny reasoning is, oh, these items are in Whole Foods, but they happen to be in the gas station, so they can't be that bad right now. That's just confirmation bias. I really just wanted some dessert. I wanted to award myself for the accomplishment of writing for hours and finishing what I wanted. But here's the bonus. If you have a problem with your health, if you need to figure out ways to stay healthier, this is what's worked for me. I usually will eat all the dessert on the one day that I decide to cheat or give myself a reward. I don't like keeping it around the house because then the next day it's there and you're like, oh, It's visible. It's easy to eat. My motivation is it tastes good, so you'll just eat it. And that's what happened this morning. I didn't finish the dessert. I left some over. Those little chocolate-covered bananas, they were really good. And I ate them today after a nice fresh cup of Bulletproof Coffee, which was clean, no sugar, no additives, just some coconut oil and And some grass-fed butter. If you don't know about Bulletproof Coffee, look it up. You'll enjoy it if you like coffee, and also there's immense benefits. But my problem was that I went to the bananas, the chocolate-covered bananas, and then that spiked my blood sugar, and it also made me feel too filled. I don't usually eat that early, so it was my mistake. And the reason I share that is if I would have finished the dessert the day I bought the dessert, it wouldn't be there in the morning. It sounds simple, but it's so important. And I learned this principle a long time ago when I read The 4-Hour Workweek. Then I read The 4-Hour Body, which is the book I learned this from by Tim Ferriss. Thanks, Tim. And the idea is when you have a cheat day, you do it one day a week. And if you really are inclined to have a bunch of cookies, uh, Soda, which I don't drink any soda, by the way. Don't drink soda. Just lemon inside carbonated water is amazing. So what you do— sorry, I'm just going on a tangent here, but health is wealth. Health is true. And if you struggle or you need to get back on track, just hear me out. Once a week, if you feel like you want to have dessert, grab as much as you want and then Throw out the rest if you don't finish it, or finish it. If you feel like binge binging, binge on that day. Then you're going to be happy the rest of the week to just eat clean, eat simple because you overdid it. Eventually, you won't binge and overdo it if this is new to you. In the beginning, when it was new to me, I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna go. I'll have some pizza. I'll have some cookies. Yeah." And I got a little crazy. But after a while now, I just have a little bit. And then I'm like, oh gosh, that was fun, that was good, but I cannot wait to have a nice 6-day straight health binge. We need more health binges, am I right? So that's it. That's the episode. One, change the way you see things, and the way you see things will change, which is getting into a peak state and deciding what things mean, what to focus on, and what actions you'll take. for empowering enlightenments in your life. And number 2 is essentially the same thing, but really the idea that if you're not in a peak state and you have too much expectations, you'll be disappointed. And often that leads to bitter. You don't want to be bitter. You want to be better, right? That's why you're here. That's why I'm here. So let's be better. And then number 3 is, if you're getting dessert, Just finish it. Don't keep dessert around the house. Don't keep bread around the house. If you think bread's healthy for you, think again. Look at the ingredients. Most bread has corn syrup in it. Even the healthy breads, they slow down your brain. You're thinking— I'm not a doctor, but I am an uncertified nutritionist, okay? I've been doing the health game for almost all my life, and I'm in the best shape of my life right now. And I'm proud of it, and I feel better. And most of the time, I'm not bitter. I am pushing to be better, and I'm happier, and I'm joyous more than I used to be. Let's just put it that way. That's it for this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed hanging out with me in this beautiful backyard and this day. I'm Tony Suriano, and I want to wish you the best life, the best week, the best day, the best night. Start directing your life if you're not. If you are, continue it, condition it, and share this episode with someone that needs to hear it because I want to spread this. I want all of us to be directing our own lives. When we meet, we have a better conversation.
