60. Jake Staley — Be Aggressive With Your Habits: Why Two Hard Weeks Can Change Everything

I couldn't sit still and like I would just beat on things and the teacher would be like, stop. And I'd be like, okay. And like 6 seconds later, I'm doing it again. And it's not because like I'm trying to be disruptive. It's fully unconscious. It's 2 minutes.

Mm-hmm.

It's 2 minutes. And then you feel great for 8 hours. But it's like, no, instead we'll like go do this thing that makes us feel good for 2 minutes. And then we're in pain for 8 hours. And when I started down this journey and I saw dramatic results even within 2 weeks, that was the switch where I was like—

My wife says this intro sounds like a conspiracy mystery. So I'll stop that voice and I'll just tell you, this show is here to give you some cinematic fuel, tools, and excitement So you can stop drifting and start directing your life better than any movie. Welcome to the Direct Your Life Podcast. I'm Tony Suriano, and today I'm really excited to have my guest Jake Staley on the program. He's a film and television composer for hit projects like The Five Star, on Peacock, High Potential, the number one network TV show right now, and the upcoming The Last of Us. It's coming out in 2027. He's also a friend of mine. We go way back. He was on a previous podcast. We had such a great time, and I'm excited to have him on the show. He's a professional drummer, by the way. Let's just put that out there. I've gone to his setup, his studio. And I'm always vicariously living through his instruments. I'm a musician myself, but not at this level. So I'm excited to have him on the show. Welcome to the show, Jake.

Thanks, Tony. I used to be a good drummer, but I don't really play that much anymore.

So when was the last time you actually played for fun?

For fun? It's been years. Yeah, for fun. Yeah. Which happens, you know, some of these projects, it's like when there's the budget, I'm just hiring one of the— some of the best session players, which is great as a drummer to get to like see the people that do it just who are like drummers for a living, you know, is awesome. As a drummer, it's like it doesn't get better than that. So, you know, I'll play on projects and stuff here and there, but You know, I'm not, I'm not really doing it all the time. Unfortunately, I miss it.

Yeah, I hear you. But what is cool is that you have the background. So when you're hiring drummers, you can talk with them properly to get what you, you have in your mind or the idea that the director and you are coming up with.

Totally. Yeah, yeah, that shorthand communication really makes Makes the process fun.

Okay, everyone that's listening and watching, here's why you need to continue. We're gonna dive into the mindset of the creative. What happens when you burn out, how you recover, how you stay excited and enthusiastic about going after— I would say one of your dreams. Jake, would you say that this is one of your dreams that you're fulfilling?

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I get to make music for a living. Yeah. And he makes great music. I mean, like, enough said, right? I mean, I think a lot of people want to be able to make music for a living. Now, that said, it's, it's not like it's all roses. Like, you're not always working on projects that inspire you. You're not doing— you're not making records, right? You're not doing things that people put on headphones and just listen to. Granted, sometimes—

I do. That's me.

That is sometimes the case. But I'm saying by and large, right, that's not really the role of a TV or film composer. Really, we're trying to fit into an existing thing and kind of almost just blend in in a way that you don't notice it. I think like when, when we're doing our job the best, it's not something you're just like, oh, what's that? What's that music? You kind of just feel what we want you to feel.

Yeah.

And you— it kind of just sits exactly where it's supposed to sit, you know.

I was taught by a film— he, he did jazz and he did recordings, and he always said, you don't want anyone to hear what you're recording or what you're doing, really. You don't want them to be aware. You want them to feel it. It's so true. And I think with directing, it's, it's very similar. You don't want people to be aware that the camera moved in a weird way. You don't want to even know. You just want to feel. So that's one of my favorite things is— well, 2 of my favorite things, filmmaking and music, which to me are really together.

Yeah.

When we talk about filmmaking. So, so I'm excited to, to dive in a little bit of, uh, the way you get creative these days, because it's different than 20 years ago when you really got in and started. But before we do, I wanted to tell you a few things I admire about you, my friend. Can I tell you that?

Absolutely.

Whenever I see you— I wrote it down, actually— you have a smile, you're always cracking jokes, and you're enthusiastic. And I, I believe that word enthusiastic is so key to steering your ship in life. So I admire that about you. And thank you. And we'll ask you a few questions about that. If you think about it, what keeps your enthusiasm going? And when it wanes, what do you do to get back on track?

Yeah, well, it's a great question. Um, I think I've always been a pretty positive or enthusiastic, outgoing person. So I think that's really served me well in this business. I mean, separate the music. I think just my personality lends itself to this kind of business too, and has really helped me. But I don't know. I mean, I think from the beginning I just kind of always felt like I couldn't— like I never felt like I couldn't do this. And I think that has always made me— it's always, even at the beginning, maybe it was false confidence, right? Insecurity, imposter syndrome, all those things that we still have now. But I think, you know, I projected this confidence or I projected this kind of enthusiasm, whether it was real or not, kind of didn't matter. And I think eventually it just became a self-fulfilling prophecy, you know what I mean? Where you're— where, where you're just like making your own luck in a way, or you're kind of like, you're like, well, if I just act like this, it's going to work out. becomes real, almost in like a placebo effect kind of way. So it's like, is it real? Is it not? It's like, it definitely is, right? That's, that's kind of who I am. But I don't know, it's— but it feels innate. It feels innate.

Yeah, you said it's always been you somewhat, but that must have derived from something. Was, was there mentors? Or did your parents say something specific? Maybe your father or your parent figure said something that resonated with you? What is it, if you remember what happened?

You know, no, I don't think so. I mean, I've always just kind of done my own thing, right? I think even since I was a kid, you know, I was— my mom and dad will tell you, like, I was just like a tough kid to be parents to, you know what I mean? Like, I was just kind of doing my own thing. I was loud. I was just like, I didn't care. So I think when I say I didn't care, I was just— I wasn't like always falling in line. I was just kind of doing my own thing, you know what I mean? I was just very— a very bold personality, I think, from a very young age. So which some people like, some people don't like, right? But I don't know. I just— I've always just had this kind of feeling of like, Getting after it, going for it, being positive, being enthusiastic. And I don't know where it came from. I can't think of like, other than just my parents always being like, oh, like Jake's doing his thing, Jake's doing his thing. I think I had that space as well. They didn't shut it down, which I think really helped. So that kind of sent a signal to me that like, I can keep going.

Yeah.

So maybe that's why. But was there—

was there a time where you were, you were in that mode, but then something shut you down and it took you a while to get back to Jake, the mover, the goer? Or was— did you not get that fazed?

Well, I think like growing up specifically, like teachers, people who weren't my parents, right? People who were like, who is this kid? You know what I mean? Like, I like— school was tough for me because I'm just not that type of learner. where I can sit. I mean, that's part of the reason I got so good at drums is because I couldn't sit still and I would just beat on things and I'd be beating on the desk and the teacher would be like, stop. And I'd be like, okay. And 6 seconds later, I'm doing it again. And it's not because I'm trying to be disruptive. I just— it's not— I'm not connecting the dots that I'm doing that. It's fully unconscious. So It was unfortunate because I feel like I was pretty disruptive to classes and the teachers and other people, but it served me really well because I feel like I was always practicing in my brain, right? I was just always somewhere else. So just that's more of like as a kid, I think like as I've gotten older and stuff and I don't know, I just I, it's, it's kind of, it's kind of hard to describe. I think, I think especially in this business, it's, it's really hard to get momentum and to start to like build things. And it takes a long time. I mean, I've been at this for 19 years and I've had like success early on and then I've had failures and all this, but it's been a constant grind. So I think just that determination and knowing that I've always felt like I could do it. I never felt discouraged, you know what I mean? Even though there's been, of course, many, many failures and disappointments.

So if you can come up with a line or two, if you had to tell someone that was actually somewhat the opposite, but they want to go after things, they want to do things, But one, they're not seeing the success right away, which most people don't. You know, it can take so many years. But even with you, you started to get something going. Maybe you shifted. What would you tell them? Like, not look at the bright side, but essentially something from you that could— that they could borrow right now if they're having trouble just getting after things?

I mean, First of all, like, start controlling the things you can. I mean, I, I remember, I don't know, maybe 8 years ago, I wasn't— I had had like kind of defeat after defeat. I almost got this one show. I was really excited about it. It didn't happen. Like, I kept feeling like things were coming up short. And even though I'd had some success, like, I wasn't able to like connect these things together where it would like change my life in the way that I imagined all this would, right? So I, I kind of got fed up. I also just didn't feel good physically, emotionally. Like, I was in a weird relationship I wasn't really sure about. I, like, didn't feel good about the way I, like, I was eating, my habits, like, and basically I just made a choice to, like, really change a lot of those things that I was doing. And so I started working out, I started eating differently, and very quickly and aggressively, I did it the way that I do kind of everything, which is not half-ass, right? I went really, and I started to see changes really quickly. So within 2 weeks, I was like, my gosh. And those, as soon as I saw that, I was like, oh, well, I can do anything, right? Or look at these results. And that gave me like this really amazing feeling of, okay, I can't make people hire me, right? And you're just like, hire me, hire me.

I can do this.

I can do this. That's not how it works. But I was like, oh, all of these things I can take control of. And the second I did that, it kind of, it leaked into the rest of my life in like a really positive way because you can't control a lot of other things in your life, but Man, like, now when I look back, I'm just like, all those wins that I was able to just, like, take time and to put in for myself, that helped everything else. So, like, control the things that you can control. And the other things, you kind of, to a certain point, you have to surrender or just you do your best. But if you're controlling the things you can, I feel like you're putting yourself in the best possible scenario to then, you know, to make your own luck or, you know, to be prepared for when the opportunity does come.

Yeah. Yeah. Health, man. I remember when you made the shift.

Yeah.

You and I, it's not like we hung out every week, but I remember, you know, periodically I'd see you. And I remember, I think it was You— I don't know if you're still like sober 100% or if you just dialed it back, but I remember you cut out a lot of alcohol. You, you like were start— you were like, yeah, I'm taking cold showers now. And I'm like, yes. And, uh, it was just so fun. I saw your transition. I don't know if you knew that.

Yeah.

And I, I was, uh, so happy. You know, when you, when you do those things, it's not only for you, but those around you, they see the ripple effect or they feel the ripple effect.

Right. Well, I'm, I'm like, especially for people, composers specifically, but people like in post-production or whatever, basically people where you're sitting a lot. It's like I'm like the biggest advocate for exercise for like other composers too, because I'm just like, forget about like sitting and making music and all that stuff for a second. You got to be good at that. You have to be able to perform, but Man, as soon as I started like really prioritizing like my health and all that stuff, it just unlocked so many other things in, in like for my work and everything. And now it's like if I'm having writer's block or if I'm having a bad day or whatever, like I have these things. I've started my day out right, right? You know, I'm up, go to the gym before my son wakes up, like doing all these things. It's just totally changed the way I look at everything. Plus, we're doing incredibly hard things physically, crazy hikes, marathons. You just build these calluses in your brain where you're just like, hard shit now is different. I'm like, well, this isn't as hard as that was. And then, you know what I mean? In a way, you're kind of just like, you can brush it off, especially being a dad too, right? With parents and all that stuff being present physically and being able to do stuff with my kids. It's like, that's huge. And I want to be able to do that till I'm 80. You know what I mean?

You're a role model for the kid as they grow up. I think that's the payoff for sure. I mean, it's great for us to feel good. But how cool is that? They see you go for something. Oh, my dad, he's running marathons. Like, why can't I do that? Or why can't I try something hard? And then, like you said, when you stack those Those promises you make that are challenging, that's the confidence. That's the— you have more positivity because you're having endorphins, you're having dopamine, all this great stuff that releases. That's great. I'm happy to hear. So, what's one thing? I'll say it first so you can't say this, but what's one thing that someone that wants to get into health should just dive into right now? And I know there's not one thing, but one thing for this podcast. So, For me, I would say water. Have clean, good water and add lemon to it every morning. Or if you can handle it, a little apple cider vinegar or a little Celtic salt, or I do it all together, you know, just to kind of get myself going. And there's so much study on that, but I also feel the difference. And I've been doing that for over a decade. And I notice people that don't drink that water. I mean, it sounds so simple, but they don't care about the water. So that's my one thing to start. And when you get that habit of just doing a little lemon every morning, that's it. Do that for a month or two, then you'll— you're more likely to be able to stack another habit that's, that's good for you.

Right? Yeah, I mean, It's hard to say one thing because I think everyone is so different. And I'm the kind of person, when I made the choice, I didn't do one thing. I didn't do the thing that was like, oh, change this one thing. Like, I did 5 things aggressively on day one. And for— and I'll tell you why, is because it's part of my personality. But I think one of the biggest problems with people is they— this idea of like, oh, do the thing you can do forever and all that. I respect that. I think that's, that's fair. But when you, when you do one thing and you change it, I'm like results-oriented, right? And when I started down this journey and I, and I saw dramatic results even within 2 weeks, That was the switch where I was like—

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Oh, like I can do all of these things. This is happening dramatically. I think a lot of people start to do something small, they don't see the result, and they're like, why am I doing this? So like, I just think if more people were like, I'm gonna have a really hard 2 weeks, and they saw the result, they would be able to just unlock and just go. But I think so, I think moving in any regard is the first step and the most important thing. I think if you can just schedule a 30-minute walk, just something where you, where you move, where you increase your heart rate a little bit, I think is important. That's like the first thing for me, even beyond water, beyond food, beyond anything. I think movement's probably just the most important for me.

Hmm. I like it. Because when you move, you want water, you don't want Coke, you know what I mean? You don't want junk. But right, let's talk about going all in on things. Because I am, I'm very similar to you where if you give me something, I will go all in it crazy for the time. I said one thing because I do believe a lot of people, they're either afraid to go all in.

Yeah.

Or they're overwhelmed. And there's reasons why. And I believe the reasons why they're overwhelmed or they don't go all in, they don't have a priority list. It's like, if you have a priority list, you can do more and be more, have more. But for instance, When I started learning the Rubik's Cube, like 2 years ago, I went all in crazy for a month or 2. And by the end of the year, I solved it. Pat myself on the back. 26 seconds was my record.

Whoa, that's incredible.

And I share this with a lot of people. I had a 20-year limiting belief in my past about solving it. I pick it up and then try for 10 minutes ago. Oh yeah, I can't do— that's not my brain. And then, I broke so many other limiting beliefs over the last 20 years. I said, wait a minute, whoa, let's do this. And I obsessed and I talked to my wife about it every day and annoyed her. I talked to these other people. I hired a— well, it was a mutual benefit, this Rubik's Cube expert. He coached me a few times. And I mean, I went so deep. And I did the same with movement over my life. And about 5 years ago, I did the same for unicycling, another— the hardest thing to learn, in my opinion. Yeah.

For me, so I— you're not gonna catch me trying to use it.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. Let's, let's back up. When we meet in person, if I have a unicycle on me, I would love to spend like an hour helping you just try to—

Yeah, if you can wrap me in bubble wrap, maybe.

But it's safer than skateboarding. I know it doesn't seem that way.

Yeah, I don't skateboard either.

Oh, okay. But man, I'm old now.

I'm old now. Injury is the only thing that's gonna actually upset me at this point in my life.

That's— it is true.

Don't want to get injured.

You want to play it safe. You want to play it safe.

Well, no, I just— I want to avoid injury because if I'm injured, I can't work out and then I'm depressed. Like, that's the only thing now in my life that actually can bring me— like, if I'm hurt, if I can't move, that's the only thing now. So I do whatever it takes to make sure that that doesn't happen. And it's fine. I don't need a unicycle.

Yes, you do. But besides that, yes, you do. Yes, you do. Okay. But anyway, Wait, real quick. So with, with unicycling, I had my, my priority was like, this is the hardest thing I ever have tried. I want to give up day 1. Thus, I will go 7 days straight until I burn out, like pass out. And then on day 7, I was unicycling off a curb.

So that's impressive, dude. Thank you.

From, from your perspective, like, And I know it's part of our personality, something we stacked up over years, but I do believe the same as you, where people need to do that to see the results so they can chase and enjoy and be more fulfilled. So, how do you go all in, really? If there's something new, like, yeah, you want the results, but what if you don't know they're coming? How can you still go all in? That's my question. I want to help the people listening that want to go all in.

Yeah.

Like, how can they do that?

Well, I don't— you know, I've always been like pretty competitive and I think that too. And again, like maybe that's innate, maybe it's whatever, but I don't know. I get a lot of joy out of like competing against myself. Right. And it's not like, oh, you're like, you're playing basketball, you're doing this sport and it's like, oh, you're like, You're competing on a team. It's like, I like the competition with myself is like the hardest and most like gratifying, right? And like all of these things, that's what it is. So like, I just love the idea of running towards something that scares the shit out of me. Now, there are certain things that I don't want to do, right? Like not trying to skydive anytime soon, like not trying to swim with sharks, right? Yeah.

I mean, stuff like that.

Maybe I will someday, right? But I just mean like the hard things, the things that make us go, oh, like, that's difficult. I'm like running towards those things now, and that's really great. But in terms of advice for people, I don't know how to— I think it just goes back to like, do pick one thing that right now you think you have a very high likelihood of not succeeding at. Right? Whether it's physically or whatever, that, that could be like, I've never run a mile my entire life. I'm out of shape. It's awful. No, I, I, I have, I'm saying if there is—

Oh, wait.

No, dude, of course.

Yeah.

Oh, of course. You know that that's not true. No, what I'm saying is imagine that person saying this, right? They've never done that. They're like, oh, that seems so impossible. And then to them it is. But if you actually just throw some shoes on, put one foot in front of the other, you're not gonna die. And if you do it and don't stop no matter what, even if you have to just start shuffling or any of that, when you're done, that will unlock something else. And I think that's just really important. When I first started running, I had never run more than a mile in my life. This was like, whatever, 8 or 9 years ago, whatever that was. I can't remember the year. Maybe it was 2017 or 2018, or I don't know. But I remember being at the gym with my friend and we were on a treadmill and like, I was like, well, I'm gonna, after the mile, I didn't stop. I kept going and I was like, wait a second. And then all of a sudden I had run 3 miles, right? And I was just like, it was hard. It sucked. I did not like it. But once that 3 miles was up, I was like, incredible. I was like, there's no way. Like, I, the barrier had been between my eyes, right? The next day I ran 6 miles.

Wow.

At a 10-minute pace, right? Slow, right? Right. But I did it because after the 3, I realized that the only thing that was happening was I was— my body was telling me I was tired or all these things, and I decided to give in to that. And the second that I realized that I can turn that off by just saying no, Like, no, just keep going. That's when it all changed for me. So I think we just— that voice in our head that's like, stop. Our brain is really good at knowing how to psych us out, but it's also like, it's the opposite too. And you kind of choose which way it goes based on your decisions. So I think just doing that thing and being like, I'm going to show myself that I can do that is the most important thing. So picking something that's just you think in your brain you can't do and just saying, I'm going to do it, and then doing it, that will unlock everything else for you. You know what I mean? And then you can stack that and you can go deeper and you can go crazier. It can be something small, but it just needs to be something that you feel like you can't do.

Yeah.

I think that's super important.

I'm gonna add to that. And then I want to pluck what you said. I really liked that. Go and run the mile. If that's the hard thing for you, you're not going to die. If you did die, you at least got to the end of your life and went all in for that mile. Like, who wants to get to the end and go, I wish I would have tried that. So that's, that's one way I plucked.

Right.

The other thing is, when you get that reward, you get addicted to that growth. And then like you did the next day, you went for 6. I mean, you're breaking the barrier. And then you want more. And it's natural as a human to want more. And it's not like you're not enough. It's just you're gifted to be having a heart and having a brain and whatever else. And you need to use it however you can. And I think expanding yourself How do we do that? We get addicted to the growth. How to remember, like, you're gonna have your last breath one day, you might as well push it now and get the reward and feel better and stop complaining that you're not doing it. You know, that's, that's a right thing.

I think more, I think also is like, I think there's this notion that people that do those things enjoy the struggle of it. It's like, I really never liked running. I hate running. I don't like getting into cold water.

I kind of like that. It's a weird—

Well, no, no, I like, I like the fact that I hate doing it and I do it. That's what I like. I like that I'm kind of doing this thing when I look at it and I'm like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. And then I do it and then I feel amazing after. That's like a win that you just can't put money on, right? It's hard to quantify. And that's what I like about it. Like, I don't particularly I'm not a runner. I don't like running, right? But I like lacing up the shoes and telling my brain, like, not today. I got you. You know what I mean? You're doing this. Or in my body. And it's like, that's cool to me. And so I got addicted to that. I got addicted to the idea of being like, oh, if I feel like I don't want to do I have to do it now, right? Because otherwise that other, the 50% of my brain that's like, has controlled my entire life up to this point wins. And now I'm competing against it with the other side, which is like, oh no, screw that guy. This guy's better. You know what I mean? And that to me is the thing that once you get those reps in, And you have that, you can do that with anything. So exercise is great because you can control it, right? I can just decide to do this. It doesn't cost me money. It only costs time, but I'm getting these benefits from it. But then I can take that to every single aspect of my life and be like, okay, it's a choice. Am I going to go right? Am I going to go left? Yeah.

Have you listened to Gary Brecka before? You probably have.

I know who he is. I mean, I haven't listened to a lot of like his content. Does he have like a podcast too?

Yeah, he has a podcast. It's a great one. And he says, I know he is. He's great. But he says that the cold plunge is like his favorite drug. Because, you know, you get in, if you're in there at the right temperature, you get out after few minutes, you just feel buzzed. I mean, you know how that is.

It's wild. It's so true.

And it's amazing.

It is. It's a very like primal feeling. No, but you know, it's so funny because I really, really dislike cold water, like a lot. And when I look at it, I'm like, you're battling every time.

And then you're like, yeah, I'm doing it.

Right. And it's like, no matter what, yeah, you can, you can get kind of tolerant to it. Right. Or it's like easier, right? If you haven't done it in a while, it's harder and all that in terms of just how physically you feel in it. But the choice to get in and dip, like, each time is the same every time. The first time I did it, and it's the same today, and it'll be the same 20 years. Like, I— and but there is that glow that happens, man, when you get out of like super cold water for a couple of minutes and you're like shivering. There's just this amazing thing that happens. I know, it's like, it's one of those things where you want to tell people, you're like, just If you can just get over the hump, you will thank me.

It's the perfect metaphor for anything you really care about, which most things that we care about, we have fear, we have uncertainty, we have the doubt. So, if you think about that, if you're prepping your brain to get over that FUD, and then you apply it to the other things, and then you're really, you're addicted to the internal control of the choice.

Yeah, but that's also, I mean, it's short-term gratification, long-term pain. We sign up for that every day. Everyone does. And, but people are just kind of, instead, it's like, if you can just do some short-term suffering, you get like the long-term gratification, right? That's kind of what all of these things are is you just— it sucks. It's 2 minutes. It's 2 minutes, and then you feel great for 8 hours. But it's like, no, instead we'll go do this thing that makes us feel good for 2 minutes, and then we're in pain for 8 hours. And it's like, well, yeah, or like, whatever, right? Just Pick something that's not good for you, but that's easy to do, right? And has long-term negative consequences. It's like everything. Drugs. And obviously I've had my fair share.

Obviously. I mean, look at you.

Right. I'm retired now. I'm retired now. I got 2 kids. Those days are over. But you know what I mean? And I think it's just— and I get it. It's comfortable. It's nice. It's— that's an— there's, there's those bad short-term decisions are frictionless. They're really easy to make. And but the tough one, there's a lot of friction. But like, if you can just taste what it's like on the other side, you kind of realize that it's just— that's so much more worth it.

You know, someone once said, It's gonna— your life's hard already for what you're doing. So why not pick the thing that's hard but gets you the best results or the better results? You know, it's, it's a mindset shift. And I think, yeah, if you don't, if you don't dive in and see the results, like what you said, you don't get it. It's like people are like, oh, I know I should eat healthy. I know. But they don't know because they're not doing it. And they're not feeling it. So they do the easy thing, and they'll eat poorly, and they're tired. And then they're— guess what? You're tired, you get negative. When you're negative, you don't like people. You don't like people, less socializing. Although ironically, I grew up eating pretty healthy. And I went into a little spiral of not socializing. But that's another episode.

Yeah, indeed. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I just think that It's just really important to get results quickly. And that's just, that's just why I'm a big believer in, in going really hard and like rewiring your brain. Like, if you're just like, oh, I'm going to do this one very small thing, and I get it, like from a habit standpoint and all that, everyone's different, everyone has their own things. But like, I was really undisciplined most of my life and then like I made a switch. But a lot of that had to do with like When I stacked all those things at once, all of those hard things simultaneously, it wasn't like, oh, I'm doing this one little thing. My brain changed in a way, right? Literally rewired. And I think doing a small thing is important, but I don't think you're going to get that same level of aha. like, oh, all of this is possible without going pretty hard or seeing those results. So that's why it's really important to me. I get it. It's not for everyone. I don't think it's possible for everyone to do that. Like, at the time, like, obviously I wasn't married. I didn't have kids, right? Like, yeah, I was working, but it, like, it wasn't that crazy. Like, I had the ability to just, like, upend my life. and spend hours working out and like weighing my food. And I got so in the weeds, right? And just like all the things I did have that luxury, if you want to call it a luxury, of just like not being able to do that. So it's not the same for everyone, but I don't know. I just think you got to— we're more powerful than we give ourselves credit. And I think we just have to, to see it. You have to just do something that you don't think you can do first.

Yeah, well put. I think it's the right time, but also the idea that obsession can be good. You can balance an obsession. But if you're not somewhat obsessed, then you're just kind of drifting around and you're like, you dabbled and it's— and when you do that, You don't see any movements, and then you get— you, you go back into the cage, you know, and then you see other people doing it, and then you, you know, you start judging harsher.

So, right.

So, a little obsession. I have a little note here. Let's see what it says. Hmm, we probably covered all this. How do you pursue something at an unusually high level without becoming unavailable to everybody around you? Actually, that's a good question.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, it's tough. Well, I mean, maybe it just comes down to priorities. There are certain people in my life that I can't ever not be available for, right? I have 2 sons, one 3 months old, one 5 and a half, and I'm married. My wife. I have to be available for those people, right? And wait, you have to be available to a certain extent.

But wait, I have a quick, quick cut-in.

Okay, this is—

and this is really a personal question, because I still have trouble with it. But I'm getting better. I have timers in my room, analog little, you know, egg timers. I have other things, triggers to stop me, because when I'm immersed, let's just say, for example, if I'm editing a project on my computer station here, the question is, is how do you say enough, put it down? You have to go there. Is it just— do you actually think like, oh, okay, my son, I want to be a good father. Let me, let me say enough now. Or is there something else for those creatives out there that are just immersed in, you know?

Routine. I, the reason I will, I will get up at 5, 4:45 in the morning and work out and do those things are so I can then be up working at the hour where I put all those reps in. So by 3 or 4 PM, I'm available for my son to play. Mm-hmm. So like having the routine to where I'm maximizing and optimizing those hours where I'm putting the work in so that I can be available. And like my family knows. Like, these are my prime work hours. This is what I have to do to like move the needle, to like keep the lights on and do all those things. But outside of those hours, I'm not just obsessing over, oh, I'm really into this queue, I'm going to keep working. It's like, yeah, fair, that happens. But I just think it's important to— the more routine and discipline you have in every other aspect of your life, and that's why I'm going to always keep going back to this, is The more available I am to my family because I'm not just spinning my wheels being like, oh, what's this? I'm trying this. I'm very intentional with the work that I do, right? So it's like I'm up at this hour, I'm doing this, I have this routine. This is when I'm going to start working. This is when I'm going to stop. And it's like, that's the expectation. And trust me, if I don't do that, I hear about it.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Because that's it, dude. I—

we've all been there. That's part of this job. is like, I'll sit and I'm working and I'm in it, I'm in it, I'm in it. I look, it's 4:30. I haven't eaten anything. Like, I have 97 unread text messages, you know what I mean? And it's just like, because you're just myopic, right? That's part of the creative thing, especially editing, right? Or composing. You just get in these rabbit holes and you're just like, you can't see or hear anything. So like, I've just worked on that, you know, over the years. And now with having a family, you just— I just don't get to do that to the same extent, nor do I want to, because it's like, yeah, you need to have some kind of like— I hate the word balance. I really do, because like I have lived a very unbalanced life, but now I do have more of that and I'm happier because of it.

Yeah. You know, it's not work-life balance. It's When you're at work, you're all in at work. When you're at home, you know, you're all in at home. And there's a common thread with the high performers that I've talked with and me. When we take care of ourselves for our designated time uninterrupted, get into flow, do your thing, and then cut it off, then when you go to other people socializing or helping in the house or your children, You're there, you're present, and you're not as much thinking about that project because you feel like, oh, I did the thing, I set the time for me. Now it's this. It's like compartmentalization.

Yeah. And that's hard.

That's hard.

It's so much easier to talk about it than to do it. I mean, yeah, I'm less like in the piece of music that I'm writing when I'm with the family. I'm more in like the thing that upset me about This note that I got, or something a director said, or some really annoying thing that happened on the project that I'm just ruminating over. Those things are really hard for me not to take into the house. I'm really trying to work on it. You know what I mean? There's these things that happen where something unexpected happens and it's just cortisol. You know what I mean? And everything is just like— So I'm really working on like regulating that because that does like leak into the family life where I'm just like, I'm like staring blankly because I'm like just thinking about this thing and I can't let it go. And my son's like, Dad, Dad. And I'm like, and my wife will be like, Jake. And I'm like, you know what I mean?

We ruminate and it's, it's not healthy.

Yeah, it's just not good. Um, so I'm trying to get better. I'm trying.

This is a perfect, perfect transition. I have the one-word question for you. If you had to choose one word that you need to work on currently to make the biggest difference in your life, what would it be? Listen. That's always good. I've been trying to listen. I just—

as I cut you off. No, see, that's the thing. It's— I, I'm— I talk a lot and I'm loud. Okay.

That's why we get along.

I know. But what I'm saying is, is like, I've just— I can smother conversation or I can just like get, you know what I mean? And like, when it comes to relationships and anything, it's just like, I'm trying to listen more and like actually listen, not like wait for my turn, but like listen, you know? So that's just one for me that I think if I just had to choose one word, obviously this is like you could go deep on all sorts of different things. I think that's just one that I'm actively trying to do better, which is to just talk less, listen more.

You know, I think that's a book title, Talk Less, Listen More, or Argue Less, Have More Conversations. But I've read a lot of these great books. And it's funny because you're reading a book about listening, but you have to apply it and you have to test it out.

Right.

And, and there's so many methods. But really, it's like, if you're present, you listen better. So if you do what you needed to do, like we just discussed, take care of yourself, shift, and then maybe before you go into a conversation, you have a little forethought. I'm going to be present. I want to have them feel that I'm listening. I want to feel that we're both being heard, you know, and then you enter. I think those little moments in between help. It's—

dude, Dude, like you just brought up a really good point and it's funny enough, like I've done therapy, I've done all sorts of stuff and like until you just said that, I haven't really considered the idea of having like a buffer period of time.

Yeah.

And like now I'm just like, that's brilliant because what I want to do is like when I'm done working today, I should allocate 5 minutes to like turning the screens off, sitting in here and like basically preparing for not working.

Yeah.

Instead you just go, right? And it's like, that's like jumping in the cold water, which is really great when you're trying to psych yourself up into doing it, but it's kind of probably not great. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Like kind of in the way that like someone who was just like overseas, like in combat or something, it's probably not best to just like open up your door and be like, I'm home. Like, it might be good to like be like, what did I just go through? What happened? Like a kind of postmortem or like something to transition you into the next thing. And I think daily, that is something I'm going to start implementing. Thank you for that.

Yes. Yes. I've been working on that for a few years. And it helps. And it works in every situation. So listeners out there, take the pause between your activities. And it could be It could be 5 minutes, but even a minute, closing your eyes and shifting helps so much. Really, really makes the difference.

And schedule it though, right? Schedule it.

Well, schedule it.

Well, for me, because I need to get— like, I need to know that I'm doing it or I won't do it. You know, for sure. I'm saying it has to be like, yeah.

If you drop— if you have like the banner dropdown on the phone, by the way, my only banners on my phone are my calendar. That's It, right?

Because reminders. Yeah, yeah.

Then I see it, and I'll do it. But I learned from Brendon Burchard, he has these things called doorway triggers. So you have to obviously keep reminding yourself. But now I walk through a new door, like when I come home from a job or a day, there's— I come in and I pause and there's, there's a doorway. And I see the stairs. And I'm like, alright, I take the breath. Calm the nervous system down. And I say, whether internally or sometimes out loud, like, this is how I want to be, is what I want to do, is how I want them to feel, this is how I want to feel. Done. And just that little awareness, it really helps you shift. Yeah.

I think people have this like idea too, that like, that's like weird and kind of like woo-woo-y, or like, you know, and all these things. But it's like, You can't really emphasize how important that intentional thing is by just stopping yourself and saying it and doing those things.

Yeah, it's, it's like, but it's funny, because if you're with yourself all day long, so if you're not the best friend that's helping you, and you don't say those things to yourself, because imagine if you had the coolest supportive friend with you all day long that you weren't annoyed at, let's just say, they would be saying things like, all right, you're gonna go and see your wife and kid, like, leave the work over there. You did a good job. Now go enjoy the presence of humanity and love.

Right.

If that person said that every time before you shifted into a conversation, like, how dramatic would that impact be for everyone? So we don't have that, but we have ourselves. We're stuck with ourselves until we Our last breath and hopefully beyond that somehow. But you know, here on Earth, like it's you; you're with yourself. So, it's it's I like that woo woo word pisses me off.

You know when people well yeah, I I just think that those kind of things get a bad rap because people like what. But you know, it comes down to you know you said one word, but like if I had a second one, it would be like self awareness because. That has really changed that idea of being self-aware. And I think when you're talking to yourself like that, or when you're doing these things, that's what that is— self-awareness. To be like, to like, when you're talking to yourself out loud, and like, now I used to just really not, you know, shoot from the hip. I was just like kind of unaware of my like impact on things around me, right?

Yeah.

Now I'm very aware of it, hyper-aware of it in a way that I just think has really helped me be a better person to the people around me because I'm self-aware in a way that I'm thinking about what I'm thinking about. You know what I mean?

Yeah.

To where that just, that really, that really changed my life when I actually started Think like being aware of what I'm thinking about and being aware of like, oh, how I'm going to actually think about maybe how I'm impacting this person or whatever, the things that I'm doing. Or like, I just think self-awareness is like, to me, that's what being like a grown-up is.

Yeah.

That's the difference. Self-awareness where you're thinking about it. That doesn't mean you have to change what you're doing. But if you're thinking about it and you still make the choice to do the other thing, fine. I just want to think about it.

Yeah. And then you can decide.

Right. It doesn't— yeah, it doesn't always change the way that I do things, but by taking a beat and actually being— having that self-awareness, I just think is everyone can benefit from that. Every single human being, I think.

Yes, yes, I agree. That's real. That's what directing your life's about. That's why this podcast is called Direct Your Life.

Uh, fitting title.

I see you doing it. I see you doing it. Now let's, uh, let's share to everyone out there, what are you excited about next? What's the next scene you're excited about? It could be in the music industry, film industry. I want to hear about it and then share where people could hear some of your tunes, your film scores, all that stuff?

Yeah. Um, you know, right now is a really weird time to be in LA or Hollywood in the entertainment industry. There's just a lot of changes going on. Everyone's freaking out about AI and, you know, everything. So honestly, I'm just really excited that I'm busy, that I'm working, that, you know, the past 19 years of my life just grinding is like And I'm nowhere, you know, this isn't really a destination, right? It's just like you're figuring it out. It's a journey. Things are great. I'm working a lot. I'm super grateful for that. So like, honestly, I'm just excited about the fact that I get to work, you know what I mean? A lot of people are out of work. Like, I get to work. I get to work on these successful shows. I get to kind of, you know, flex my creative muscle and all of that. And so I'm excited just, just to be able to work, honestly.

That's great.

Like, that's enough for me. Like, I've got season 3 of High Potential is about to start, and I'm excited for that. You know, I'm excited to just dig in and to get to do that. You know, I feel super grateful. So that's enough for me from like a work standpoint is just to be To not have to worry about the fundamental things. Right. And just the basic things and know that, like, I'm working and it just helps a lot.

Yeah, that's great. It's the simple, the simple ability to, yeah, like you said, flex your creativity and take care of business the way that you see fit. I mean, that's—

And purpose, right? I mean, purpose. It's like, yeah, I have 2 kids, I have a wife, like I have a family that I love, like I have purpose beyond work. But those things, sometimes I think we need purpose beyond those things because those feel like so like, of course, right? Like, I'm a dad. Like, of course my purpose is to do this for my kids, blah, blah, blah. But when you can get it from somewhere else too, I just think it helps you be a better dad or a better spouse or better whatever too, because I'm also not feeling like Oh, like this is my only purpose is that's it, right? Like, oh, oh, people need me. People are paying me to make music and like I'm on these shows and there's all this. And so I think that just really helps too, to have that kind of have that purpose as well.

I bet they fuel each other.

They do.

I think everyone should have a really great career that they would like and go after it. Everyone should have a great hobby. And everyone should care about, you know, those they love. And, uh, yeah, all those together work great. Yeah. I have a random question. What's the biggest thing you've learned from working with top Hollywood directors? Could be creatively, which I'd like to hear personally, and then maybe just in life, if anything comes to mind.

Well, just important distinction, given that the majority of the work I do is episodic television. I work less with directors. Directors are much more film, but in the TV world, showrunners are kind of the director, right? They're like the CEO of the show, but they're oftentimes an executive producer, the lead writer on it, all that stuff. So I'm just going to reframe that to showrunner because that's more of my experience.

Yeah.

But showrunners just tend to— and they're showrunners for a reason, because they have this idea and vision for how they want something to go. And they execute on that vision with everyone that they're involved with. And I appreciate that. You know what I mean? I think it can be tough when I would just much prefer someone be very firm in their convictions and being like, this is how it's going to be. Not in an arrogant way, but like, this is the vision. This is what I'm doing. This is my show. I just like that because when people waffle a little bit more, you end up kind of like, what are we doing here? And then it doesn't feel like there's leadership or direction. And so like, I've learned that kind of the only wrong decision is indecision. And it's like committing to your vision, whether it's right or wrong, is kind of irrelevant. It's like I'm— and I've learned from them is just like being decisive, being confident, and just like committing to things, listening to other people, taking in other perspectives, right? If presented with new evidence, changing your mind or whatever, right? But I think Just projecting that kind of confidence and vision and just committing to what you think is right and just going for it and not really tiptoeing around it. I've learned that from working with people who are like showrunners and running big apparatus. I think it's just cool. It's helped me in my own world. of kind of just being like, just go, go for that thing. If you think it, feel it, go for it. But don't be afraid to change, you know, if you need to. So probably—

Damn, that was a mic drop, man. That's so, that's so key. And yeah, and when you decide to go and do something, you will figure it out if it's going to be right or wrong for you. But indecision, like you said, is, is, man, the worst place to be. You're like in flux.

Yeah, and I think it's paralyzing. I mean, there's a reason they say, like, you know, what is it, analysis paralysis or whatever it is. But it's like, you know, you can— if you kind of sit around and think about the best way to do something, you can— I think you just find yourself realizing that you're doing nothing as a result. You know what I mean? And I— dude, we all get stuck. We all get stuck on that.

But yeah, great reminder. It's the 40 to 70% rule. I forgot the guy's name that he talks about it. It slips my mind. But you know, hey, you get 40%, you could go, but maybe 50, 60, get the information, go, and then you'll learn faster than waiting to see if you have 90%. And by the time you have all the information, your buzz is gone. Your enthusiasm's gone, or the project's over, you know, or you can't even have any impact.

Right. Yeah, man, it's jazz, man. You know, you got to just iterate. You got to get stuff out there and, and improvise.

Yeah. Well, real quick, tell everyone listening and watching, where again can they hear your work? And that could be websites, that could just be Rename some TV shows and stuff for us.

Yeah. So first of all, watch The Five Star Weekend on Peacock. That came out early July, I think July 9th. That's been a huge success. So you can stream that. The soundtrack is also on Spotify. High Potential on ABC, that season will start airing in January. We're about to get started in a couple of weeks here. They just started shooting. So that's— that'll be airing in January. And then they're shooting The Last of Us Season 3. I expect we will start getting picture and start to work on that sometime between like Q1 or Q2 of 2027. So then that's an HBO show, of course, and soundtracks are on Spotify as well. So that's, that's it right now. Hopefully there's, there's more to come.

That's terrific, man. I'm excited for you. And where can people follow you on the socials?

Oh, um, you know, I need to be— I'm not very active in social media, if I'm honest. But on Instagram, I'm @donblake. It's a long story.

I've never asked and never will.

Yeah, just another time, another podcast. Yeah, great. That's it really. I'm not too active on social media, but—

Excellent. Okay, and now final words in a few sentences. You really did a great job of, of ex— of the experience on your end and, uh, and, uh, just sharing what it means to direct your life. But in a few sentences for parting words, what does it mean to direct your life?

Well, I think it just means doing things on my terms and not someone else's. It's funny because I feel like we started this conversation, I feel like I've always been directing my life. Not always in the right direction, but I've always been the director of it. You know what I mean? So I— yeah, that kind of hits home for me because, you know, I feel like in a way I've kind of always been doing that. But yeah, I think just, just Controlling the things that you can and, and trying to shake off the things that you can't and being self-aware and listening. If you do those things, I think you'll be, you'll be directing the life that you, that you want to live.

I agree. Excellent. Thank you so much for being on the show, Jake.

Man, thank you, Tony, for having me. It was great to catch up.

It's been too long, bud. It's been, been a pleasure. And everybody out there listening, follow the show so you don't miss an episode. Leave a review if you like this. Check out Jake's work. And until next time, get out there and direct your life. Thank you for listening to the Direct Your Life podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, but more importantly, this episode inspired you to take actions on what matters to you, Please let me know. Leave a review wherever you're listening to. If you're in the Apple app, just scroll down, rate it, leave me a review on what stood out, what you want more of, and who you want me to bring on the show next. Also, don't forget to follow because then you'll never miss an episode. And finally, if you're ready to upgrade your life, to stop dabbling, to stop conforming, or to To expand what you're currently already after, I am confident you will love my new book, Direct Your Life, or someone else will. Grab it today at directyourlifebook.com. And the cool part, if you grab a print copy, inside the print copy, there's a link that gets you the audiobook for free. Why not have both? Grab your copy today. Until next time, get out there and direct your life.

Bye.