In episode 7 of the "Direct Your Life" podcast series, host Tony Suriano explains the concept of the B‑story – the secondary thematic thread in film that fuels the main narrative – and shows how it applies to personal growth. He shares three personal anecdotes: meeting cinematographer‑mentor Sasha after selling a motorcycle, recalling his high‑school film teacher Kevin Kelly who kept him in school, and a chance encounter with an older magician‑filmmaker in Cincinnati who became another mentor. From these stories he draws lessons about the power of mentorship, the importance of surrounding yourself with supportive people, and the need to maintain a positive inner state. He offers concrete actions: thank past mentors, define who you want to become this year, write it down, and set boundaries with toxic influences. The episode also promotes his free "Direct Your Life" newsletter and invites listeners to share feedback via email. Throughout, Tony’s tone is conversational, motivational, and instructional, urging listeners to actively seek and nurture their own B‑stories to keep moving forward.
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My wife says this intro sounds like a conspiracy mystery, so I'll stop that voice and I'll just tell you, this show is here to give you some cinematic fuel, tools, and excitement so you can stop drifting and start directing your life better than any movie. Welcome to the podcast. I'm Tony Suriano, and if there's a little skipping on this episode Meaning the audio glitches, I apologize. I'm working on this studio technical error. It's getting a little annoying and pissing me off a little bit, but it's okay. So this is part 7 of 15 within this podcast, and it's all based around the 15 beats of a great film applied to your life so you can direct your life better. So So if you haven't listened to the previous 6, check them out. They can help you stay on track, stay aware, and have a little fun on the way. So let's get into it with a short anecdote. It's a personal one, so bear with it, but it's a way to exemplify this part 7 for you. And It took place years ago. Gosh, maybe almost 15 years ago. I was in one of those artist struggling moments where I was nomading around. I lived in a warehouse for 9, 10 months, lived in my sister's house 6 months after that, but not in her house, in the garage that was converted into a gym. There were mirrors all around and bodybuilder pictures on the wall from the people they were renting from. It was quite a funny spectacle. But hey, I got in shape really well. And then I spent the next 6 months at my friend's. So I was just going all around and a little desperate for some cash. And my career as a filmmaker was just starting to take off. I sold a commercial. I was waiting on funds. And I needed to earn some money while I was waiting. Long story short, I messed up on some music element of this commercial that I created and then again pitched and then sold it. So they were like, all right, you need to get the music sorted out, then we'll pay you. So that took some months. Okay, so at this point I was selling my motorcycle, threw it up on Craigslist. I met with this really Amazing guy named Sasha. And we had this talk about the motorcycle and about how it could be in a film. And I happened to ask him, well, what do you do for a living? And he's like, I'm in the film industry. I'm a cinematographer. And at that time in my life, I was so looking to meet other people, other filmmakers that were further along than me. And we hit it off. We started chatting and he said he had this business. I told him, oh man, I'm completely open for Any kind of work or to help anyone. So let's stay in touch. He didn't end up buying the motorcycle, but it ended up that we developed a friendship for almost 15 years, and he became my mentor. I was working with him, worked under him for some years, and we started chumming up. And eventually I landed this directing job where I needed a great cinematographer. to travel across the US with me. And we were doing this really interesting mini docu-series chasing some classic cars across the US from South Dakota to San Francisco. And it was 10 days, super low budget. Half of the budget went to Sasha, and I was happy to give it to him because I wanted him on the project. And, and, uh, we had a great time. So the reason why I'm telling you this is because In our lives, in your life, there is a B-story, whether that's the whole life that we live or parts of our life. The B-story simply means— in filmmaking, when you make a great film, it means the thematic secondary story to the main one. And it's often a story about love or friendship or mentorship. But to me, I think this is one of the most important parts in our lives. Even though it's called a B-story in filmmaking, in our life, I want you to think about this as the fuel to keep you going when times are tough, when you feel like you don't want to keep going. Look out. There, there is love. It's always there. And there's always someone that can support you, can connect with you. You just have to be open to it. And in our lives, when we desperately seek it as a transaction, it doesn't really work. You have to be open and just offering your own value. Everyone has value. And then things happen. It's very rare and hard to just ask someone, hey, can you be my mentor? You know, it's almost rude. It's like, can I— can you give me all your time? But that's really how it works. Quick pause. If this resonated with you, I invite you to join the Direct Your Life newsletter. It's free. It comes to your inbox every week with behind-the-scenes lessons, exclusive content, and other free tools designed to make your life better than any movie Go to tonysuriano.com/directyourlife. And now back to the episode. Think about who has been your mentor in your life or someone that you looked up to that helped you along the way. One, maybe reach out and contact them and say, thank you. That really was a special time. I needed you in my life. I remember one of my first mentors, I was 16 years old and I was fortunate to have A production, a film production class in my high school. And Mr. Kevin Kelly was my teacher. He was an awesome guy, and he always would say things to me that inspired me about filmmaking and what, what I could do with it. And that I have some of these, um, skills I'm developing, I should apply them. And I just remember that's one of the reasons why I stayed in high school. 'Cause I was getting ready to hit the road or drop out or do something, get the GED. And I stayed 'cause I was like, wow, 2 years in filmmaking in high school? This sounds fun. Okay. And I want you to think about that person, thank them, and then think about your current space right now, your environment, your, current mentor, if you have one, or who you surround yourself with. Are they inspiring? Because 50% of who you are is where you are, and then the other 50% is pretty much who is surrounding you, who you spend your time with. And we need to really be vigilant and set boundaries with who we spend our time with and where we spend our time, because if you don't Good luck. It it will get to you no matter what. If you hang out with a drug user long enough, even if you don't use it, you know. Oh no, I don't drink. I don't do drugs. Eventually you're gonna, or you're just gonna suck up their emotions, their their lack for life because that's why people usually go heavy into drugs or alcohol. They have lack of love, lack of life, lack of significance. And hey, every now and then, you know, a celebration, get a little fun and wild, you know, that's okay. I'm talking deeper. And these things matter. So that's what I wanted to share with you today, that your beast story matters. Who you're with, who you hang out with matters. And the people and places in our life, in our lives, Make us or break us, and if you don't understand that, you will be lost however smart you are. So make sure you ask the right questions. Ask if you're stuck in an environment that doesn't serve you. Ask if you're with people that don't serve you. And what I mean when I say serve you, I mean serves the person you desire to become. What you're working on, and if you haven't thought about that, think about it now because right now while I'm recording this, we're getting to the end of a year—an entire year—and you're going to go into a new one. So I have that question to you: Who do you want to be this coming year? What type of person do you want to be? In fact, write that down and look at it every day. I have a blackboard right in front of me and it's crucial to write things so you see it. And I actually must have just erased it, but I had on the top, who do I want to be today? Because it's so important. There's also a cool song I love by the band Oingo Boingo. Who do you want to be today? Who do you want to be? Right? That's the song. And it's always Reminding me whenever I hear that song or think of that song, reminding me, huh, yeah, that's a choice. All right, like if I want to be that type of person and become that, you have to make certain choices. And I said it before, I say it again, to make the right choices, you just have to be in a beautiful state of being. You have to generate that good energy, that positive energy, even when life sucks sometimes. Believe me, I know it's hard. I know things hit you and come up out of nowhere, whether it's financial hardship. God, I've been there. Whether it's relationship craziness. Yes, I've been there. Or it's family drama. Oh, I've been there. It's gonna hit you. So you got to make sure you figure out how to get in a beautiful state so you make these great decisions. So then when you meet someone, you have a nice connection that could develop into mentoring them, which is amazing for you and them, or they mentor you, which again, both ways, if it's natural and you're both offering value, it doesn't matter. You're both growing. And I really have experienced that. And a quick last example on this mentor, on this connection, on the bee story. I remember when I moved from my hometown, Los Angeles, and I migrated to Cincinnati, I was just in this beautiful state. All these cool new things were happening. I was writing a new feature film. Obsessed, immersed in it. I was going to libraries all the time researching and writing and eating healthy food, going on long walks, experiencing the snow. And my wife and I were exploring everywhere. It was amazing. And then I was doing magic. If you don't know that about me, I'm a magician as well. And I was practicing magic deep. I went to Office Depot to print some things for my magic. And I was just in that great state. And I happened to see this guy, probably twice my age, an older dude, and he was printing something that looked magical. And I was wondering, oh, is it a magician in the wild? Because that's rare. So when he was waiting for the clerk to finalize the print, I just walked up to him and I said, hey, excuse me. Are you a magician by any chance? And he said, yes. We hit it off, and it turns out he's a filmmaker too. And we became friends, and I consider him a mentor of mine, but also an actual friend. We get together, we have talks, and share goals, and share magic. And it is, it is a great thing to have. So if you don't have that type of person in your life, it's your mission. To make it happen. And it starts with you. It starts with working on yourself, the inner self. So then when you meet people, you're in that right state. They feel it, they connect with you, and it just is natural. I believe earlier in my life I had this weird bubble up, bubble up in front of me that kind of repelled people. And, and I slowly started to figure out that I was doing it subconsciously because I just didn't have that self-esteem. I didn't really have the worth. And I just, I don't know, I had this negative vibe about people and yeah, yeah, people think they want this. It's always something. And I just kept focusing on that and then I got it or I didn't get any of the people, the goodness, the love that's out there. So that's A little backstory for you. And I am proud to say that I worked extremely hard, at least the last 10 years, nearly every single day, to work on myself and get into the mental shape I needed to excel my life and get that inner excellence going. And I've allowed myself to be in a great state most of the time. Yeah, I get a little pissy And I get a little jerky, but I get out of it quick. And it's not that much anymore. So that is the takeaway. Your mentorships, the people around you shape your identity, your environment shapes your identity. And you need to be in control of it. And you can be in control of it to some extent. And of course, you have to let go as well. Because directing your life isn't about controlling everything, everyone, it's about Controlling what you can and accepting what you can't. There's that Serenity Prayer that talks about that, and it's just such a great prayer. If you don't know it, look it up. But it's true. So there you have it, the B story, beat 7 in an amazing film. The next film you watch, look out for it. Usually it's like 25 minutes in, 30 minutes in, where the story moves to the right and A new love interest comes along or that new friend or that mentor, and they help the main character get through that hero's journey. And without them, often it can't happen or it's not meaningful. So I want you to think today, what's your B-story? And if you don't have one, you need to think about Intentionally finding that new love, that new friend, that new mentorship, that new environment, and make it happen. That's the challenge for you. And if you already feel like you have good mentors, you have great love in life, your environment's great, things are going well, just know there's another level. I'm here to push you because we all deserve that next level. And Then you hang out with that lover for a while, you learn some new things, you realize you don't know some things, and then you skill up, you level up, and you grow. And you keep that, that on a repeating pattern. And that makes life exciting. That gives you progress, gives you happiness, and then it spreads. It's a ripple effect. Because when I meet you in the future, I want to feel that ripple of positivity. I don't want to hear negative news. I don't want to hear the BS that's going, going on with all that gossip. I want to laugh. I want to feel your energy and hear your adventures. And that, my friend, is something to think about today. And if you want to share any of your thoughts with me, feel free to send me an email, contact@tonysuriano.com. Let me know what you want to hear on the show, what you loved, what you hated. Just let me know. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. Please share it with someone that needs to hear it. I am pushing to spread this message everywhere and make sure that people start directing their lives more because that's what it is about. And if you're still with me, thank you again so much for listening. I appreciate it. And as always, get out there. And direct your life. You know why? Because if you don't, someone else will.
