58. Chandler Bolt — The Half-Built Bridge Trap (and the One Question That Changes Everything)

And then there was a period of 3 or 4 years where I just read those books back to back once a year. It was like, all right, here's my yearly reminder that I need to do less, I need to go— I need to do it better, and I need to go deeper, not wider.

I still to this day sometimes have the problem because I want to share and help, but if they're not seeing that new perspective, they're locked You can't be worried about it if they don't want your help or if they don't like where you're going.

Most powerful marketing principle and the most powerful business principle, life principle is—

My wife says this intro sounds like a conspiracy mystery, so I'll stop that voice and I'll just tell you. This show is here to give you some cinematic fuel, tools, and excitement so you can stop drifting And start directing your life better than any movie. Welcome to the Direct Your Life Podcast. I'm Tony Suriano, and I'm excited to be with Chandler Balt. He is the founder of selfpublishing.com. He's helped more than 8,000 people, probably more by now, become published authors, including myself. So I'm really excited. And he's also, he's on a mission, I heard, to help 100,000 people publish their books over the next decade. So let's welcome Chandler to the show.

Tony, what's happening? Great to be here. Yeah, on your book.

Thank you so much. I want to thank you 50 times because with you and selfpublishing.com, it's the true reason that I actually not only pulled the trigger but finished the book. And I, I really appreciate everything you do there. It's been great coaching and great content. Everything is just kept like a fire under my butt.

Great.

It's what I needed.

That's awesome, man. Yeah, that's, that's the goal. So that's great. It's great to hear your experience.

Definitely. It's been a crazy experience, a long, fun, wild experience writing a book. You mentioned somewhere, writing a book is a rite of passage. And it really is like I I want to dive into that a little later in the episode. But for those of you that are listening, we're going to talk about books today, but we're going to go further. We're going to talk about relationships and just how we can set boundaries so we could focus on our goals and the things we want to do to direct our lives better. And I know Chandler has some good stuff on all that, which I'm excited to dive into. First, if you're cool with it, Chandler, I want to do a rapid-fire fun questions.

Oh, come on. Let's go.

This is gonna help us get to know you really quick.

Rapid-fire fun questions!

Cats or dogs?

Dogs.

Yellow—

Cats suck.

Yellow or black?

Black.

Europe or Asia?

Europe. Going to Italy in 2 weeks.

Yeah, baby.

First book Oh man, probably Rich Dad Poor Dad.

Great. Okay, coffee or tea?

Coffee.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Dark.

Nice. Morning person or night owl?

Morning.

Changing baby diapers or cleaning the kitchen?

Cleaning the kitchen. Cleaning the kitchen.

So I have a newborn, 2 and a half months. And it's funny, like I was all about, okay, maybe I can get out of changing diapers. And if I could do this and this, she'll, she'll do the diapers. It didn't happen that way for many reasons. But what's funny is I actually had this odd gratification doing the diaper change, right? And now I don't hate it. So That's, that's my life right now. Let's get into some main conversations. What's exciting you right now? You mentioned something about a Business Author Mastermind. First, tell us why you're starting it, and then let us know why we should be interested if we're interested in authorship.

Yeah, I'm really excited about the Business Author Mastermind because it's what people have been asking us to create for a really long time. And it's more of an evolution than it is a, a new creation. And I think it's a big lesson for entrepreneurs to not water down your product, your program, or your experience. And so I think for years we've wanted to start a business author mastermind, but we felt like we didn't have enough strictly business owners in our audience. And so we tried to straddle the fence. We tried to cater to a bunch of different people. And there were the people who, hey, yeah, they're writing a book and they kind of wanna be a full-time author. There are the people who have a business. There are the people who, uh, maybe a bus— the book is impact and that, but But they want to invest more and learn from us. And so I think finally we said we need to create a mastermind for strictly business because it's, I mean, it's the stuff that I'm best at. And it's, you know, for a long time on the Chandler Bolt YouTube channel, I've taught the art of scaling to 7 figures and then ultimately now 8 figures and kind of the art and science and practical stuff that nobody talks about that I wish there were good trainings on. And it's really advanced stuff. And people love it. They send it to their whole team. And so we finally said, hey, what if we just did that in a mastermind version and let's raise the floor? So you need to either be at 6 figures a year or up or quickly approaching it to be in the mastermind. And so we're doing the in-person coming up at the end of August in Austin, Texas, and I'm just really excited about it. And so that, that'll be the first of a new evolution of that. And then alongside that, we're doing our Author Business Summit. It's kind of the same thing. We had Author Advantage Live for years. It's a great event, but it was just too broad. And so now we said, all right, what if we just do an event about scaling a business with a book and all of our business authors? Let's focus on that for 3 days. Let's get real nerdy with it. We don't got to worry about fiction authors, children's book authors, people who don't have a business, whatever, and cast this massive net and water down the content. Let's just go deep on that thing that I love and that we're really good at.

Wow. How long is it each day? Is it like just cramming it all in one day?

Full days. Yeah. Yeah. It's full days. I mean, we don't mess around. Well, I will say it's because it is, you know, there's— it's predominantly virtual and then there's an in-person component that is always a little bit weird because you got to go— I think we end up going like 11 to 7 just because of time zones and stuff. You know, I'm more— as we found out at the very beginning of the show, I'm a morning person. So, my preference is 8:00 AM or 9:00 AM. Let's start. But, you know, obviously, if we started at 8:00 AM in Austin, it would be 6:00 AM in Pacific time. So—

Yeah, that's awesome. I believe in total immersion, and I think that If you join something like that, by the end, you're just living that. So, what do you have to say about that with your life and the success that you've had, the things that have gone the way you were wanting them when it comes to like obsessing a little bit and being totally immersed and cutting off some of the other things?

Depth is better than width. I mean, I think early on in your career and early on in your business, you try to go super wide. And you think that's the way to do it. I gotta do this, I gotta do this. Hey, so-and-so's marketing like this, they're scaling their business like this. And you end up with what we call half-built bridges because you try a bunch of things, you halfway build 'em, you never build a full bridge to where you're trying to go. And then you're upset and frustrated wondering why you haven't gotten there yet. And so I think that's where, as I've progressed in my business, I've learned that depth is just so much more important. And so whether that's immersion, going to an event for multiple days, or whether that's, you know, I certainly do that when I need learn a new thing. I needed to get good at the finances in my business. I went to this thing called the 4-Day MBA with Keith Cunningham. It changed my life. It changed my business. It was 4 days of the most nerdy finance stuff that you can imagine. I sucked at that. I wasn't particularly all that interested in it, but I knew that I needed to learn it to get to the next level. So I did that. And when I realized that I was horrible at leadership, I spent a year reading every book that I could find on leadership. And I read about a book a week. So, I mean, I was tearing through leadership books, and by the end of that year, I was a much better leader. And so, that's where I think depth and immersion is so important. If you want to grow to the next level, you got to figure out, what do I suck at, and how can I get in the room with or learn from the people who are really great at that, and then just go deep, not wide.

Brilliant. It's true. My question, and I'm trying to think for myself as well, I feel like you and I perhaps, tell me if I'm wrong, have been interested in something. You're like, I need that in my life. And then you dove in and you went deep. Is that true? Or was there a time— Was— okay. So the question is, is from your observation, if it wasn't from your own Doings. What can people do when they're going wide, but maybe they know they should go deep? They're listening now and they're like, I need to just be a nerd on that subject, but then they don't let themselves do it. What can they do? Hmm.

Yeah, I mean, I think this buddy of mine, Dan Martell, he would say you need to audit your calendar and you need to audit your bank account, and that's where you're really investing. Is where's your money going and where's your time going? And so if you do that audit and you realize that you're super wide, well then that's a big problem. And but how do you know what to focus on now? Or maybe you think I'm bad at focus. Hey, I've ADHD college dropout over here, so not exactly the pinnacle of focus. But I think I learned that I needed to channel that if, if my goals are important. as important as I say they are, well, then what's stopping me from getting them? Well, probably my thinking, probably my actions, probably how I'm spending my time. Okay, well, how can we improve that? How do we audit that? And so the question that I'm obsessed with is, what's the bottleneck? What's the bottleneck? What's the bottleneck? What's the bottleneck? I just did a video on this on my YouTube channel because I just— it's amazing to me how few people don't understand this concept. And I think it's the most important question that you can and should be Constantly asking, constantly. And then, but once you figure it out, what do you do about it? Well, that's where it goes to what you said. You got to go deep on that thing. So when I found out for me it was leadership, and if I don't level up my leadership, I'm never going to scale anything, and, and I'm going to have people leaving. I won't be able to attract, retain, develop great talent. Okay, well then now I need to go deep on that thing. If there was— there were parts of my life where I was really struggling with focus and really struggling with that. So then, I found a book called The One Thing, and then I found a book called Essentialism. And then, there was a period of 3 or 4 years where I just read those books back to back once a year. It was like, all right, here's my yearly reminder that I need to do less, I need to do it better, and I need to go deeper, not wider. So, that's how I've done it for me.

That's great. Yeah. You know, I think it comes down, and I battled with this in my, like, early 20s, where it was, it was a strange thing. It's, it's about loving yourself enough so you'll actually go deep. Because if you don't care about yourself enough, you like, you'll just spread out and pretend to make, you know, make it look like you're doing stuff, you know, busywork. I'm going wide. And I did that. It's weird. As a filmmaker, I went deep with filmmaking and I got the skill and I learned so many things. I was like, I was a nerd for it and I still am. But then I neglected the relationships, the socializing part, because I didn't feel like, for whatever reason, another episode, like I didn't feel worthy of it and asking to have help or relationships. And once I started just going deep on self-work and love, like, I was like, oh, it's now okay to go deep in there. So I wonder, you know, some people when they don't go deep and they just stay wide, is it, is it that self-esteem issue? You know?

Very much could be. It's funny when you mention filmmaking, I think of it— oh, could you imagine trying to produce or create 5 movies at once? Kind of how people think about books. They try to write multiple books at one time.

That's your rule, and I followed it. You're like, don't write more than one book at a time.

That's one of our biggest rules because it's just, it's the ultimate definition of going wide, not deep, and you end up with 2 unfinished books. So not to beat this horse that's just already dead, but depth over width.

Yeah, man. That's great. Yeah, I gotta borrow that analogy. That's so, so true. I have never been able to accomplish any filmmaking project if I was doing another filmmaking project. I was like, that waits, this has to be finished.

Yeah.

Excellent. Well, let's transition into something that I read in your book, Published. Um, Dr. Pareto— didn't you have a little story in there about meeting him? There it is. That's a dude I really, really liked. I've started— all right, well, I'm almost done with the audio version. I love how you narrate it yourself. Thank God. Like, sometimes—

thank you.

Yeah, you did great. And you're engaging. And, you know, I could, I could feel like you really were enjoying it. So that makes it fun.

I appreciate that.

You were— yeah, you were talking about meeting Pareto in like a farm area or something, right? And before you go into—

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's funny 'cause I recalled it like, wait, is he still around? Is he alive? And I'm like, oh, he was using it as a fable. So, tell us a little bit about that and why we need to get into that.

The most powerful marketing principle and the most powerful business principle, life principle is 80/20. It's the 80/20 principle, which comes from, as you mentioned, Vilfredo Pareto, who discovered, you know, he, he was growing peas and he realized that 80% of the peas came from 20% of the plants and the pods in those plants. And he said, huh, maybe there's something to this. And the whole principle is that the majority of your output comes from the minority of your input. So 20% of your calendar and what you spend time on drives 80% of your results, your growth, your revenue, probably more than that. If you think about it in terms of societies, you know, there's, 1%, 10% of people who pay 80% or 90% of taxes. There's, if you think about it in terms of your business, there is probably 20% or less of your customers that make up the majority of your revenue or the majority of your profit. And so, if you look at any area of your life, I think the natural question is, well, what's the 20%? If you don't know it, well, then you can't optimize it or do more of it. But then maybe more importantly, it's what is the 80% that I continue to tolerate? And so that's where I have people, and I do this myself, continue to put focus on what's called a stop-doing list. And so anytime I'm overwhelmed, or just in general, I think it's a good thing to audit, is say, hey, what needs to go on my stop-doing list that is in that 80% bucket? That so that I can free up more time to spend time on the 20%. And it's, there's a bunch of different ways to ask the question. I mean, I've been asking this to myself and I've been asking this to my team lately is, hey, what What are the 2 or 3 things that you do on a regular basis, or maybe even not on a regular basis, but what are the 2 or 3 things that you do that disproportionately drive value and growth in your company? Identify those 2 or 3 things and then spend as much time as humanly possible at those 2 or 3 things. And so, coming back to kind of what we were talking about earlier, with the Business Author Mastermind. And then we've got this thing called the One Page Profit Plan. It's basically an assessment of your business. And the punchline at the end is, hey, what are your— what's your 2 or 3 levers that drive disproportionate growth in your business? Okay, let's name it and claim it. That's what they said in church growing up. But, you know, let's figure out what those things are and then let's make sure that you are blocking that on your calendar, because if you're not, Your business is going to continue to stall, and you got to raise the level of your no to raise the level of your yes.

Well put. Quick pause for a quick announcement. My book, Direct Your Life or Someone Else Will, is now available in audiobook format, print format, and ebook format. Grab your copy at directyourlifebook.com. This is where you go deeper in the Direct Your Life philosophy. And this is where a 15-beat framework to help you make your life better than any movie awaits you in the book. Grab it today at directyourlifebook.com. And the cool part, if you grab a print copy, inside the print copy, there's a link that gets you the audiobook for free. Why not have both? Grab your copy today. Now back to the episode. Dean Graziosi, who happened to introduce me to you, he was saying in a simplified version, and I love it, but I love what you said too. He's like, do more of what helps you become the man or woman that you want to become and do less of what doesn't.

Yeah. And I mean, that's a pretty simple exercise, right? But wildly effective. is just draw out a piece of paper and say, makes me more of the person I want to become, makes me less of the person I want to become. Draw a line down the middle and then write out all those things and then audit your calendar for the last 2 weeks, 4 weeks. I mean, shoot, with AI now, if you keep a good calendar, you can just have AI do it for you. And then say, oh, huh, doom scrolling Instagram, drinking alcohol or not getting enough sleep or whatever, that is making me less of the person I want to be. Oh, interesting. When I'm exercising or meditating or spending the first 2 hours of my day on non-reactive work, that's making me more of the person I want to be. Okay, I take inventory. Now, let's change it.

Yeah. Now, my question to you, I feel like you don't have this problem, but I could be wrong. How do you not say that too much to people you love? Because I'm annoying about it sometimes. I'm like, I'll like tell my wife, I'm like, Oh, is that making you the woman you want to be? I'm just saying. Teach me.

Oh, that's a tough one. That's a tough one.

We care. We care.

I think I've gotten in some trouble on that.

I want you, Chandler, to tell me if you saw me doing something that just is not— you know my goals. You know what I want to be. I want you to call me out. I'm that person. Please. I was in martial arts. I want to be like— Hey, do this to make your life better, you know? But some people, they're— they don't want my intensity, so I have to figure out how to just be like, they will figure it out, you know?

I think most people have one of two problems. Either they're scared to tell people what they need to hear, which is basically to confront them with love and give them brutally honest feedback, or they don't often Or not enough, they don't look for what they're doing well and compliment them on what's doing well. Now, depending on the person who's watching this or listening to this, you may be in one of two camps. Either you're just scared of conflict, the Enneagram 9, the peacemaker who says, oh yeah, I don't want to rock the boat, so I'm never going to call someone on their stuff. Or you've maybe got the other one who is like me, the Enneagram 8, who is willing to— this is called the challenger. So I'll go after people, but then my problem is I don't do a good enough job about— I think it's— One Minute Manager calls it, uh, catch them doing something right. Yeah, I think that it's, it's a self kind of evaluation of where are you on that, that spectrum and what do you need to do more of. And that could be in life in general, but I think sometimes it's specific to relationships. You know, I love the, uh, forget which book it is, but it talks about kind of deposits and withdrawals in relationships— relational deposits, relational withdrawals. And so I find that with my personality type Which I think is probably different from most people, honestly, is I swing the pendulum too much towards just challenging people and not complimenting them, catching them doing something right and saying, oh man, you really, you did an awesome job of that. And because then you are, you put the deposits in, so you earn the withdrawal. And so I think that's what I've had to learn over, over time is just to better balance that. No. So when I, you know, 'cause I'm not afraid to, and I was joking with my wife that I feel like I'm sometimes the person that, uh, everybody in my family or friend group or whatever is like, hey, we got a problem over here. Can you go talk to 'em?

You're the Kramer in, you know, Seinfeld. Remember they, do you ever see the episode? They send Kramer, they send Kramer to tell the, the girl that like something about surgery on her face. Or she just— he just says it and they're like, Kramer, what are you doing? It's— oh man.

Yeah, I guess I am the Kramer. I mean, I've been called a lot worse, uh, but yeah, I mean, sometimes you, you, you need that person. So I'm not afraid to do it, and I've pulled people aside and say, hey, look, you need to lose weight, you need to get yourself together over here. But I can only do that if I've got the deposits with that person and they know that I care about them. And so, all that to say, I think for most people, where they probably need to work on is actually telling people the truth because everybody's scared to do it. And I think it's the most loving thing that you can do for someone. It's funny, sorry to belabor this point.

No.

We did an exercise with the team the other day, and we're talking about calling each other to a higher standard. And the whole point that I was trying to make is you calling your peer to a higher standard is a selfless act, and it is actually the most kind thing that you can do for someone. The big problem though is it doesn't feel like that. So you feel like you are calling them out or whatever else. So I, I, I, I had people raise, raise their hand around, hey, do you give permission for us to call you to a higher standard? And because what I think happens and why people don't do it is because it's uncomfortable. If, if I come to you and I say, hey Tony, you're not doing what you said you're going to do, And I think that's a real big problem. I think you should change that. How can I help? Well, then that is really uncomfortable for me to do. It also has no benefit to me. It is, it is a selfless act for you, towards you. And yet, for some reason, I'm the one feeling like I'm taking all the risk. And even worse, I'm the one, you know, putting it all on the line. And so I think just reframing how we look at that Starting with my team, because that's who I can best help and support. But I think as a society, it too is just knowing that when someone tells you something like that, sure, it may not be accurate. You may take it with a grain of salt, whatever else, but they're most often doing it as a selfless act.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that Dale Carnegie said it in one of the books where we do a criticism sandwich. I've been working on that for 15 years, but I still don't get it right every time. But that's just the say something good about them, mention the criticism, and then say something good about them, you know. And it, it does work. Like, it's just—

People love to hate on that. I, I, but I find the people who hate on it are not really good at that. I'm not really good at it and not really good at leadership or management in general.

Yeah. Yeah, I think haters don't want feedback, you know, because it reminds them— they think that it's like, oh, what, I'm not good enough? But it sucks. It's more like, you're a miracle, and you should expand as much as you can, and it will feel better. Like, it's going to be great for everyone. But, you know, when they're ready, right? People aren't ready sometimes. What are you going to do? This is great. This is really what we were talking about is, is part of like what it means, uh, success to, to us. And I was gonna go into it. What does success really mean to you? And, um, what has been a bottleneck for you to create success? And that could just be like that, you know, internal success you feel.

Success to me means maximizing the God-given gifts and abilities that you have. And so When you're on your deathbed one day, you can look back and you can say, I left it all on the field. I didn't phone it in. And so whatever that looks like for you, some people are gifted in a certain way. Some people have— for me, I feel like my God-given gifts and abilities are in the realm of business and leadership, all those things. And so I want to maximize those gifts and create the best possible outcomes that I can for my team, My family and the world. And now some people are way better at serving the one or serving, you know, maybe some, some people are better at— like, I think about my chiropractor and physical therapist.

Yeah.

And I mean, those guys are miracle workers and they have a totally different gift. Than I do, and they are maximizing the crap out of that gift. I mean, they are the best of the best. I refer them business all the time because they're so good. And I think the problem is people look at success in a one-size-fits-all lens, and they say, oh, if you're not an entrepreneur, you're a loser, or if you're working for the man, you know, you suck, or whatever. If you, if you're doing XYZ, you're not, and you're not maybe living up to your capabilities. And I think that's just a totally wrong way to look at it. My parents all the time growing up just said, bloom or you're planted. It doesn't matter if you're a street sweeper, be the best street sweeper that ever lived. It doesn't matter if you volunteer at a conference, volunteer, be the best volunteer at that conference that you've ever— that they've ever had. And people will notice. And even if they don't, you know. And there's nothing more powerful than being able to look yourself in the mirror and know that you are maximizing your God-given abilities and gifts. And so I would say that is what success looks like to me. And then to answer your second question on the bottleneck stuff, I have had tons of them. There's— that's the funny thing about the bottleneck is there always is one. And I realized I was— I needed to reframe this for my team because I kept talking about the bottleneck. And what I said was, this is the bottleneck. What they heard was You're doing a bad job. And then I realized, oh, we're thinking about this differently. And anytime in leadership or in business, if there's a miscommunication or a gap like that, it's your fault as the leader. And it's a—

it's—

so you got to reevaluate, how are you teaching this? How are you— what's the common language? All that stuff. So I just realized, oh, I've got to totally reframe this. Having a bottleneck doesn't mean that you're doing a bad job. It just— Now, it might. And maybe that's why it is the bottleneck, but there will always be a bottleneck. And that's the funny thing. It doesn't matter how good you're performing, how well things are going, how much you're growing, there is always a bottleneck. Because otherwise, why aren't you 10 times bigger? Well, that's the bottleneck then, if that answer is the bottleneck. And so there always has been and always will be bottlenecks to me, my growth, and my leadership. And what I'm realizing is that the biggest bottleneck is actually my thinking, and it's my inability to think bigger, to dream bigger, to place bigger bets. And so I'm evaluating that and saying, okay, well, what do I need to change about that? Because if I want to get where I think I'm capable of going, well, then I got to change that.

Do you think that Implementing strategic fun and adventure in your life could actually fuel the thinking that you need to overcome bottlenecks. Like healthy fun. Healthy fun.

Yeah, I'd say so. I think there's times where I've done a good job of that and there's times where we can improve on that. Like, I think some of our culture at selfpublishing.com is it's very much work hard, play hard. It's, we take our goals very seriously, but we don't take ourselves too seriously. And so, we have fun and the fun's in the winning. And so, we love to win and maximize our gifts and abilities and then celebrate when we do. And so, we'll have offsites and we'll have stuff like that. But I think what's interesting is my experience at least is the higher you get up on the mountain, the more you clench and just white-knuckle. And so, I think that's what I'm realizing is that some of the things, and this is just a reflection for me personally lately, is, oh, hmm, interesting. I just went back through and read all these thank you notes and stuff. There was a box in a closet that my wife was like, yo, we got to figure— we got to get rid of some stuff. I got a little bit of a sentimental. And so, I went through all this stuff and I'm realizing, oh, wow. Oh, there were some things I did back then that I've just fell out of habit because it's— I've gotten so focused on growing this thing and not losing— not that I— that I'm not doing the things that are authentic to me. I don't know if that really makes sense, but just the, the fun, the adventure, and investing in people, giving to nonprofits, like a bunch of those things that are really just— end of the day, just core to who I am. And sometimes you get away from that as you grow, so you just got to recalibrate. At least that's what I'm trying to do right now.

Yeah, you know, you get so focused on the growth because it does feel good and it does inspire people, especially with your field and self-publishing. Um, so it's— you feel like, no, this is the, this is the adventure, this is the fun. And, and part of it I'm sure is, but then there's the part Like, in my case, I really, I really got intense about solving the Rubik's Cube this last year and a half. And I was like going deep, man. I got 26 seconds, Chandler. That was my goal, my record. I was like, I'm like top 5% of the world apparently to ChatGPT. But I'm excited about it, right? And then I, I like was having that be part of my morning routine before I, you know, dove into stuff. And then I let I drifted a little bit away after I really got good at it. And I then I've been looking at it lately. I'm like, when was the last time I solved that? You know? So the the thing is, when you're going after those goals, we sometimes have to remember, like, hey, that can actually fuel that. You know, it was really good in that morning. I would solve it, and I feel like ah, I did something. You know, no one knows I did that, but I do. And then you go into it. So I could see how it's so easy to. I don't want to say confused, but just misplaced where the drive and the goals—that's that is my fun. No, this I'm having fun because you are, and and I I am when we're doing our life's work. We are, but there's still those other parts, you know.

Yeah, it's a great point.

Ah, Rubik's cubes, dude. You know, I I tell this to people. And I think you'd appreciate it. But for, I would say, probably more than 20 years, but when I was a kid, I saw the Rubik's Cube. And I tried it like anyone else would for like a couple minutes. I found 2 blocks, put them together. That was it. I couldn't go past it. And I'm like, oh, I can't do this. And there wasn't like YouTube videos back then when I was really trying it out. I didn't have anyone that solved one. So you forget about it. And then 10 years later, I'm like a teenager or whatever. Let me try it again. I got a little more and I was like, wait, I'm smart. I could do this. And then I couldn't, gave it up. And then I actually convinced myself like, oh, I'm street smart. And, you know, I'm not that type of math smart for way too long. And I overcame that limited mindset again about a year and a half ago because I've, I pushed past a lot of things. But then I was doing this film project where we had a Rubik's Cube in it. And I had a solver on set. And it like re-sparked it. And I was like, I'm going to test this out. And I pushed and I pushed and I did it. And it's just, it's one notch of like, oh, like you said earlier, my thinking is what stopped me. And it's all made up. That's the wacky thing about our brains. My thinking is made up. So why don't you make it up to whatever you want It to be. Yeah. Side tangent. I have a note here. It says family and friends. And I'm, I'm curious how you've dealt with certain family members and friends that they don't treat your vision, let's say, with respect, or, or they kind of sometimes have scoffed, maybe in the beginnings, maybe once you, quote, made it, they're like, oh, I always knew you could do it. How did you handle that to not be discouraged? Because I know a lot of people want to go for things, but they are worried if they go for it, people are gonna, you know, scoff or they're gonna say something. So, what do you recommend? What have you done?

Be a lighthouse, not a flashlight. If you're trying to achieve anything big, there's going to be haters, there's going to be doubters, there's going to be people who try to tear you down or tell you that you can't do that thing. I mean, I certainly experienced my fair share of this. College dropout, ADHD, C-level English student. I mean, there were plenty of people who said, hey, yeah, this kid's not making it. And then when I started going after it, there were plenty of people who, in love-ish jest, said, oh, Mr. Big Shot. You know, it's kind of like the little pointed jabs that many a truth is said in jest. You know, you're like, okay, I think you're joking, but also that's kind of offensive. And why are you saying that? And stop doing that. And so I think But it's all— people were viewing things through their lens of the world. And so that's where it was just a— I finally realized it. So my job is to be a lighthouse, not a flashlight. There's too many flashlights in the world, people who are just shining a light over there and say, oh yeah, that's what you should do. And nobody wants— nobody wants that. Nobody likes that. You know, maybe if you're, if you're actively trying to grow in that area. But what I try to do instead is be the lighthouse, which— what does the lighthouse do? Well, the lighthouse shows. people where to go, where not to go, and what's possible. And so, that's what I started doing in my life. And then, a funny thing happened. I looked around and I realized that all those people who— maybe they were just friends that weren't getting with it, or maybe they were haters or whatever else, they make fun of you until they ask for advice. Or maybe one day they ask you for a job. And that's happened a bunch of times, is the people growing up, you know, that wouldn't give me the time of day or were on a higher social status than I was or whatever else, eventually said, hey, I saw your post about you guys hiring, just put in an application. And that was a crazy feeling, but that's an example of being the lighthouse. And then I've seen my friend group rise up, I've seen my family rise up, and because they see what I'm doing and they say, hey Chandler, If that guy can do it, he's definitely no smarter than me. He grew up right here. Maybe I should give that a try. And so then they reach out asking for book recommendations, which is that I love.

I love giving books away, man.

The light bulb is turning on and I say, here's a recommendation. Come back when you finish reading it and I got another one for you. And then you see people do that. And one of my good buddies growing up, Went from lost in his career and kind of trying to figure it out to that dude runs— I think they're going to do $5 million this year in his construction business, middle of nowhere, South Carolina. That's the difference of 5, 10 years of being a lighthouse and other people seeing what's possible.

Yeah, that's great to hear. I love the thing that goes on. Wait, they're seeing it from their perspective, how can I get really upset with that? I think Chase Hughes, this behavioral expert guy, I was listening to one of his pieces of content and he was in the ocean and he got bit by like an eel and it hurt like hell. He had to go to the hospital, there was blood everywhere. And he was talking to his mentor weeks later, he happened to run into A coworker at the time that was kind of annoying. He was like a showboat, and he was talking to his mentor like, yeah, this guy pisses me off. And like, I, you know, I try to actually be cool and he's not. And his mentor says, are you mad at the eel that bit you? And he's like, what? What does that have to do with anything? And he just says, the eel knows what it knows and it struck. It has nothing to do with you. And that's the perspective of that other guy. So it resonates to me with what you said. And I still to this day sometimes have the problem because I want to share and help what I've shared, what I've learned with people I love, or you're interested in giving them, you know, not giving them advice, but showing them, hey, you can do it. I believe in you. But if they're not seeing that new perspective, they're locked You can't be worried about it if they don't want your help or if they don't like where you're going. It's like, oh, it's okay. And it is all perspective. Yeah, man, I'm just— I like saying it. I like saying it again because no matter how many books I read, courses I take, people I talk with, there's no perfection in the behavior with others, right? Like, we just If it's on your mind, you do the action more. I'm all about that.

Well, and, and I think the, the— what I'm hearing from what you're saying is focus on what you can control. You can be mad at the ocean for being the ocean, but it's still going to be the ocean. So, if you're upset that the waves are crashing into the sand, bad news, it ain't going to change. Same, same thing, you could be mad at the politics, you could be mad at the economy and inflation, Okay, change it. And if you can't change it, well, then there's no point being mad at it. There's no point focusing on it because it just is. That either is the way it is until somebody like you goes and changes it if it's within the laws of physics to change. And so, either change it or shut up and focus on what you can change and what you can control and you'll be amazed at how much happier you are and how much more successful you are. how much better your business goes because you're not wasting all this time, money, and energy. Yeah, focused on the stuff that you can't control.

You just encapsulated a lot of what's in my book, Direct Your Life or Someone Else Will. And it's, it's all about don't let that rob your energy. You need to use the energy for what you can control. I mean, it's an old adage, but it's so true. And if you're more aware of it, You are happier. And I also push the word playful. You're more playful, which is part of curiosity and being a kid. You know, a lot of people lose the kid-like mannerisms and excitement because they let these things they can't control just direct their mind instead of them directing their mind.

Yeah.

I don't know how many— I don't think I'll ever get tired of that concept because I just know when I'm doing the thing, when I'm directing my life, I'm actually buzzing. And like you said, keep note of it. Like, damn, that 20%, that lit me up. I'm directing my life, and the 80%, you know, is happening because of it. Let's do a couple— a quick close-up here and a final question. This is you in the director's chair, Chandler. The director's chair. If your life was a movie, what's one scene that you would gladly cut, or you know very soon you're gonna need to cut or edit? And how are you gonna do it? Maybe, maybe give me some—

Oh my gosh, one scene that I would cut— that's tricky because there's plenty that come to mind. But I mean, I think it's the, it's the butterfly effect. If you change one thing Who knows what would— then that would have changed this other thing, would have changed this other thing, would have changed this other thing. And so I don't know that there is anything.

Okay. What about the opposite? This could be a good one. What's one scene you definitely add in that could amplify your success, your happiness?

Hmm. Scene I would add in is probably Probably getting married and having kids earlier. I think that— I think that just has a life-changing impact. I would probably add in— it would just almost be some things doing them earlier.

Mm-hmm.

And, you know, maybe I add in a scene where I just go all in and make a big bet. I'd probably add that. Oh, I'll tell you what scenes I would cut. I actually do have some, some there, uh, is a bunch of stupid investments. Um, so I made some just really dumb investments, uh, and realized that the, the skills it takes to make money are not the same skills that it takes to grow it. And so I would cut those because I'm currently cleaning up that mess that I, I caused for myself.

Okay. Yeah, replace that with some fun, more fun.

Yeah, no doubt.

You know, it's funny because a new investment, it is this part of fun. You're like, ooh, we could do that. I mean, I see something happening here, you know, but sometimes you cut that, do something else. Great. What about, what's a belief you had, I don't know, the last decade or in your 20s that you completely disagree with today?

That scaling remotely was the only way to build a business and the best way to build a business. And I completely disagree now. We've got an in-person team of 20-something people in Austin, Texas, and after being remote and 60-something employees for a decade. So I think in-person is a lot better.

I think with how everything's going now, the in-person is that, is the, Not commodity. What's the word? Like the unicorn. Yeah. In person. This is going to be great. People are seeking more of that. I think that's great. Let me, let me ask, where should people find you? Where are they looking to sign up for your business author mastermind or your self-publishing services?

So I would say go to selfpublishing.com/directyourlife. We created a link for you guys and you can book a call with the team there. You can chat with my team if you are thinking about working on a book and maybe you want our help. We'll map out a plan. Or if you're interested in the Business Author Mastermind, you can obviously chat with us about that as well. That's coming up. It's coming up pretty fast. So we've got limited slots for that, obviously. But I would say those are the 2 best places. And then you can follow what we're doing on— we're putting out a bunch of really good content on the selfpublishing.com YouTube channel and on the Chandler Bolt YouTube channel. So, selfpublishing.com is all about book stuff. The Chandler Bolt YouTube channel is all about scaling businesses. We drop new videos every week on both of those channels.

Excellent. Everyone that's listening and watching, check it out, especially if you want to become an author, a published author. I cannot recommend it enough. It will light the fire under you. There's coaching services. There's a whole slew of content Chandler's teaching in the content. That you can access at any time. I really loved it. I loved being part of it. They have the community and you post stuff, people actually get back to you, and it's— it was a great experience. Still is ongoing. So thank you so much for being on the show. But before we go, in a few sentences, you've already mentioned it, but let's see if we can synthesize it. What does it mean to direct?

Your life. It means not letting somebody else call the shots. Don't just do stuff because society says it's what you should do. Don't just do stuff because it's what the people around you think that you should do or tell you that you should do. Make an independent choice about how you want to live your life. The, the road less traveled is the least crowded. And so if you just do what everybody else does, well, It's a hard way to live, and it's a hard way to make a living because everybody else is doing that thing. It's way more competitive. And be authentically you. Live the life that you want to live. Direct your own life. Don't have someone direct it for you.

Perfectly put, my friend. Thank you so much for being on the show.

You got it. Thanks for having me.

Thank you for listening to the Direct Your Life podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, but more importantly, this episode inspired you to take actions on what matters to you, please let me know. Leave a review wherever you're listening to. If you're in the Apple app, just scroll down, rate it, leave me a review on what stood out, what you want more of, and who you want me to bring on the show next. Also, don't forget to follow because then you'll never miss an episode. And finally, if you're ready to upgrade your life, to stop dabbling, to stop conforming, or to expand what you're currently already after, I am confident you will love my new book, Direct Your Life, or someone else will. Grab your copy at directyourlifebook.com. And when you grab your copy, you can upload your receipt to receive The audiobook for free as my gift to you. Because if you're like me, you want to read, you want to listen, you want to just digest content that matters. Until next time, get out there and direct your life.