38. The Words Holding You Back (And How to Change Them)

This episode is brought to you by your future self, and your future self says, stop dicking around. My wife says this intro sounds like a conspiracy mystery. So I'll stop that voice and tell you this show is for you to get you on the track you want for your life. I'm gonna share encouraging educational content, hopefully entertaining, that will help you direct your life. I'm Tony Suriano here. Welcome into another episode Let's get into the verbal cues that destroy us. Have you ever given yourself some self-talk that just sucks? You probably have and you don't know it. And in particular, I want to share about what I used to do that definitely did not help my progression, my happiness, my confidence. And that was a phrase called, I don't know. I remember growing up in my teen years, late teen years, that would be my catchphrase. People would ask me, especially my dad, like, hey, what's going on? How's school going? I'm like, I don't know. Just didn't want to deal with it. It was my safe way of saying, I don't want to express anything because then I'll have to do the work or I'll have to Look myself in the mirror and change. And that catchphrase, I don't know, it did not serve me except maybe once in 7th grade. I actually announced to my friend, our family friend, I said, I don't know if I don't know. And he was trying to help me with homework. And I just said, I don't know if I don't know. And he used to make fun of me for years. And then later he came back and said, that was kind of— That was— there was something to that because you first have to know. First, you don't know what you don't know, and then you're going to know what you don't know, and then you can start doing the work. So it's just another way of awareness. But I digress. The I don't know phrase did not serve me, and it affected my confidence. And what happens on a science level, on a brain level, is you repeat this thought so much It becomes conviction, right? Because that's what a belief is. It's when you have something so much, so many things have been said about that, your being starts to believe it. And then you believe it for so long, it's conviction. And you have to fight your way out of it. And the first gate is awareness. So this is your cue. If you don't know, Haha, you don't know yet. Let's put the word yet after the words I don't know. I want you to do that, a challenge this week, for the rest of your life actually. When someone says something or asks something and you really don't know, get excited, get jokey, and maybe put on an accent. Do something. We're all creative. I know my actors here, you're listening. You have no problem with this, but other creatives, sometimes you feel that that's just not me. I don't do accents. You're just not familiar with it. You haven't tried it. Do it. Have fun with it and say something like, well, I don't know yet. Be silly. Be dorky. Guess what? When you do that, your, your, uh, brain turns on more and you, you get it fired up. And it Helps you get more inclined to figure things out with some enthusiasm. Can we agree if we had more enthusiasm, we would do more? Yeah. Well, you can trigger enthusiasm and it's your language, your physiology that helps with this. So what I want you to do is think about what that word is for you, that phrase, Whatever it is that you might say more often than not. Like, another example is so many people tell me, oh yeah, I'm just not so good at names. I'm not good with names. And every time someone tells me that, it's my duty. I can't help it. Call me a filterless Tony. But I say, it's not that you're not good with names. You're getting better with names. Because if you keep saying, I'm not good with names, I'm not good with names. You're not good with names. For me, as a magician and as someone that cares about remembering things, I'm the best name memory guy on planet Earth. And I've definitely pushed. I've proven that to myself because early on I wasn't good with names. I thought I wasn't good with names. But you can make this fun. You can dedicate And practice the language that you use to serve you. So what is it for you? And I urge you, borrow that from me. The I don't know yet, or I haven't figured that out yet. That one little yet gives one big hope for your brain and for your future self. Remember, your future self is telling you, don't dick around. Don't put yourself down. Get in a good state, feel good, and then get going. That's what it's about. And life can be better. If it's already good, I promise you there's another level. If you're feeling great today and you're just tuning in and you're like, oh, I don't have any phrases that put me down. You probably do. You don't know about it. It could be other ways, like self-deprecation too much. I joke about myself all the time. I mess around, but I don't do it too much when it comes to things like, oh, I'm an idiot. You know, I don't say that because I don't want to be turning into that self-fulfilling prophecy of being an idiot. So, yeah, I'm a dork and I sometimes say really ridiculous things, but I like it. Usually it's humorous for me. That's what counts, right? But really, I think others enjoy my ridiculousness sometimes. So that's what I'm saying. Don't self-deprecate too much. Don't belittle yourself anymore. And please borrow that word yet and give yourself a big flash of hope. That is the message today. If you're liking this episode, please share this with someone that you think could enjoy it and could use it. It helps spread this message far as we can get it, because I believe, and I believe this truly, that we need to play more. Because playing is the path and curiosity is the compass. And if that's so, gotta start playing. And when you start playing, guess what? You're gonna take on that next thing that actually helps you grow and feel more alive and connected. It's gonna be fun. And again, if you're curious, then you don't have to worry. You just Have fun, learn, grow. Maybe you fail a little, but really, failure's feedback. So it's a really beautiful success loop. So get excited and take action. Learn. Failure's feedback. Change your language to keep yourself going. Say those classic I am statements, but do it goofy. If it's silly and cliché to you, do it goofy. That's what I do because I, I agree. Sometimes these I am statements are silly, like, nope, I am confident. That's silly. But guess what? Your brain doesn't think so if you say it enough. Because what do we talk about? If you say it enough, if someone else tells you enough, haven't you had that happen in your life? Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's Not so great. But for instance, growing up, you could have someone tell you, oh my God, you're the most beautiful kid in the world. You are just adorable, right? And maybe you're not the best looking duck in the pond, but you sure think so. And you probably exude that confidence that actually fulfills the beauty and adorableness you were told you had. Does that make sense? I hope it does. I believe it, but not only believe it, I've tested it out. I've learned the science that proves all this. So get going. Change your language, change your state, and guess what? When you do that, you take the right actions for you. And there's a phrase called amor fati, which just means don't just Don't survive your fate. Love it. Go with it. Accept it as a place and a chance to learn and grow. That's it for this episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm Tony Suriano. Once again, have an amazing week. Change your language, change your state, change your life, and keep moving forward so you can be the director of this magical life. Thank you. We call— Our own.