Tony Suriano built a DIY tiny house in Malibu, then paid $25,000 to demolish it when the city shut him down. Instead of seeing it as failure, he and his wife left LA, moved to Cincinnati, and rebuilt their lives. He argues disasters are signals to reframe as opportunities.
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My wife says this intro sounds like a conspiracy mystery. So I'm gonna cut the crap and tell you, this show is for you if you felt like your life needs more direction, or you're just not having fun, or if you're a high performer like me and you love new perspectives and you always want to seek the next level. This is where we create your vision, break through your barriers, and find your magic. It is time. For you to direct your life. Hey, I'm Tony Suriano, your host. Have you ever had a happy moment, something you were proud of, you couldn't believe you accomplished it, but at the same time it was one of those horrific moments? It was one of those moments that you couldn't believe how uneducated you actually were? Before I share 2 takeaways from an experience, let me just give you a little backstory. There was a Malibu dream in California to live in the Malibu canyons with the ocean view and create a little house. Not just create, build with my bare hands. a tiny house on one of my friend's properties where the pool house had burned down next to the lap pool. One day in early 2021, I was talking to my friend and I said, hey, I got a crazy idea, but what if I build a tiny house down there? My wife and I can live there for a couple years. I'll put in all for the expenses and the building and Just get it done and, you know, we'll decide if we're gonna stay there and, and, uh, pay you rent or just, uh, let you have it and move on after a couple years. And my fun, crazy friend said yes, and I got to work. I learned everything I could about building. I was obsessed. Every day it was an hour of lessons on the internet. And then endless hours of messing up nails, cutting wood, measuring, remeasuring. Luckily, I had a little background in building skateboard ramps, but still, that was like 15 years prior. So I started constructing this house while my wife and I were mainly staying in the small guest room of the main house. And every day after working my hands to the bone, I would climb up this long, windy little hill to then take a shower and just lay on my bed doing nothing because my hands hurt, my back hurt, everything. My lovely wife, she'd massage my hands and shoulders and help me out. And things were going good for a while. We were really close to being done. We were actually starting to paint the outside. The last several weekends I had my one buddy come over that was way more experienced than me, and he helped me with the plumbing and the final touches that we— I couldn't do by myself. But here's the thing. I got a call from the city, and we got a notice on my friend's house that we needed to come down and discuss the permits for this building that some neighbor reported. And because his pool house had burnt down, we didn't even think to ask for permits. We just thought, well, he had it before, okay, we'll get a retroactive permit. I went in this office, we talked to architects, we talked to the city. They came and visited the property. They basically told us Hey, if you want permits for this, it's going to cost you an extra $25 grand, and you're going to have to probably start over because the ground's on a weird grade and you didn't have specific architectural plans that we approved. And this was not good for my stomach or my soul. I was in turmoil when I heard that. Really, that saying when your stomach drops down to your feet. That was real. It felt like that. And of course, my friend, all too, was, uh, he, he was also upset for me and for the whole idea and the premise and the problem. But what could we do? What could we do? At this time, my wife was so amazing to actually put up with the ignorance I had For not even inquiring about permits. But hey, there's no one really to blame but yourself. So I took ownership. I decided we're not gonna have the funds to put the property permits to work for $25,000 or $30,000 plus to rebuild the thing. This is impossible. So the city then said, well, you need to destroy it within 1 month. So begrudgingly, I had to call an old friend. Begrudgingly because we had a fallout some years before, and then we rekindled and we were hanging out. And I said to him, hey, can I pay you to destroy my, my house I built in Malibu? He gladly accepted, and he destroyed my house within a day, maybe day and a half. I couldn't look, but I came back towards the end. I thanked him. I paid him. And then the unbelievable thing happened, and this is the most important part. What? Because when you change the way you see things, the things you see change. I decided to go out of town to visit my friend in another state, and I started to see where he was living and the potential. We started talking. I started to see that the little Malibu dream was me maybe trying to do some kind of shortcut. to live in Malibu, which wasn't completely absurd. I don't know, maybe you have to be crazy to, uh, do what I did. But I started to look at that Malibu depression, as I call it, as an invitation to do something adventurous out of my comfort zone. Which was Los Angeles. And the reason why I'm telling you all that is because it ended up that my wife and I decided to choose the option— we had a few, but we chose the option to get out of Los Angeles and have a beautiful road trip for a few weeks across the states and start up new in Cincinnati. And it turned out to be the best decision of our lives. We built our relationship better. My career started shifting as it should have, and I met several amazing people, made so many new friends, more than I ever made growing up in my hometown. And I was just put into a different situation. Sure, there was uncomfort there, but that's where you grow. And that's the reason why I'm sharing this, because there sometimes are the greatest disasters that become our greatest gifts. And when you see things differently, you can handle things differently, and they can actually be signals and lessons for you. And if you have that ideology, you won't miss out on the lesson. You won't miss out on the transformation. And the discovery was that what felt like a failure was actually a freedom, a freedom to leave my hometown and try something new. That idea would have never came up if I was just staying on that little tiny home safe in the Malibu bubble. And it was somewhat of a happy-sad accident. And here's the, the, the little principle for you: every disaster in your life is actually a note, a signal from the universe. And the question isn't, oh my gosh, why is this happening to me? The question is, what reason can I find For this that will empower me? Why is this happening for me? What can I do? Where will this lead me? This is my preparation. This is my lesson. And when you change that wording, you can transform being depressed to being the director of your life. And I think that In the end, that's all we can choose. I mean, what's the alternative? To just cower in the corner and hope that something else will happen for us? No, we have to step forward. We have to grasp the lessons. And that is how you make progress. And you're not thinking about perfection. You're just making progress. You're moving forward. And that's a win. You choose the adventure instead of why did this happen? Ask what's possible now that wasn't possible before. So today, for you, I'd love for you to think about something in your life right now that feels like a setback but actually could be reframed as a setup. for your next level of advancement or adventure. And you can ask yourself, what if this isn't happening to me, but for me? Famous words of Tony Robbins. I love that. And it always helps me reframe my thought to empower my next adventure. That's it for today. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you like this, if you enjoyed it, please share it to someone you know. needs to hear it. And if you can do me a favor, rate the show on Apple or wherever else you can, because that really helps spread this word and the message out there. That's it for today. I'm Tony Suriano, your host, and I wish you a fulfilling day. So get out there and direct your life. Thank you.
