48. Go ALL IN: The Decision That Separates Your Old Life from Your New One

My wife says this intro sounds like a conspiracy mystery, so I'll stop that voice and tell you this show is for you to get you on the track you want for your life. I'm going to share encouraging educational content, hopefully entertaining, that will help you direct your life. Welcome to Direct Your Life. I'm Tony Suriano. I'm excited that you're here. If you're listening on Apple or Spotify, hit follow so you never miss an episode. This episode is part 6 of 15 in a series within this podcast. So if you haven't listened to the last 5, check them out. They all work together. And today the topic is decision-making and going all in. But before we go into that, Just a quick recap on the last 5 episodes and what this is all about. In filmmaking, in the best scripts written, there's a 15-beat system, a methodology that makes the hero in that film go on a journey, and that's what makes a great film. So we're applying these lessons, these takeaways, these ideas to your life so you can live your life better than any movie. That's the plan. That's the idea. And it's definitely doable. So the last 5 episodes, number 1 was about the opening image, kind of meeting yourself honestly where you are and how to be aware of that, because you need to know where you are before you can get to where you're going. And the second beat is all about theme and what drives your life. Everyone has a story in their life, whether it's written yet or they want it to be written. You need to figure out that theme, and that will be your compass. Beat 3, understanding your world. So how does your environment shape you? How do the people around you play a part in your story and what's really going on? And number 4, it's your wake-up call. That thing that scares you. In movies, there's a call to action and the hero has to decide to take it or he gets forced into it. But that's when the story begins. That's when the journey begins. And number 5, our last episode was all about the debate, battling the fear, the uncertainty, the doubt. All of that just consumes us and it stops us from following through. Which brings us to this episode. We all need to go all in when we decide on something in our lives. When we decide that that matters, you can't dabble. You can't step your foot in and have one foot out. You have to go all in. And this is the part in the movie where the hero Actually can't go back. Once you step all in, there's no turning back. And it's beautiful because you're entering officially, you're entering the new world and the old world is gone. So this is when you, the hero, commits to your mission. The decision is made and you're cutting everything else off. Trusting, pushing forward on that thing that you really care about and just saying, I'm going to figure it out. There's no backup plan. This is it. I'm doing this. I'm going to succeed in some way, somehow. I'll share the short story here to exemplify me going all in. But if you want the full story, go to episode 1 of this podcast. So years ago, Growing up as a child, I had this crazy dream of acting in a film with my dad. Now he's an actor, and if you don't know me, I'm a film director and an actor, and I just love the film medium. That's why we talk metaphors here on this podcast. And I saw my dad acting growing up, and he was already in a movie with Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro, and I always felt, oh, I wanna be in a movie with them one day. That would be amazing. I wanted a shot, but I never got an agent. I was doing music, doing film directing, and just acting here and there on the side. But I heard that Martin Scorsese was shooting The Irishman in New York, and I was in LA. So I dropped everything I could. I dropped everything I had, spent money I didn't, and I flew to New York. I had no guaranteed outcome, but But my dad had a day playing role on the movie. I asked my dad if I could get on the set just to observe, but he just couldn't pull any strings. He only had one day on the film, but it didn't stop me. I just cut every other decision off. I didn't have a backup plan. I flew over there, walked around for a couple days, and this is what a break into 2 moment looks like. And I mean break into 2. Because in filmmaking there's 3 acts, sometimes 4. And when you go into that second act, there's no turning back. So my call was this movie, and you either go all in or you stay where you've always been. So after I booked that flight and flew to New York, I called everyone. I tried to figure out who knows this person, that person, and I actually got on set. It was amazing. And my dad was surprised, and I was able to observe. And watched them set up the scene. I saw De Niro, I saw Pesci, I saw Scorsese and my dad right there. And then in that moment, I'm not gonna go into details, I was called over to be in the scene, not because I planned it, but because I was just there and I fully committed and I put myself in the place of opportunity. I'm gonna rewind just for a second and slow down, 'cause I tell this story Kind of fast since I've told it before, but you may never have heard it. I went all in, and I ended up on set observing the very scene my dad was going to be acting in with Joe Pesci and De Niro on a Martin Scorsese film. And I was called in to be in that scene. And I ended up playing the son of my actual dad in the movie. And he ended up smacking me in the back of the head 'cause I was like the wild mobster son. It was cinema history, and I was part of it because I showed up and I went all in. Now, that was maybe an anomaly that all that happened, but it would've never happened if I didn't show up, fully commit. Now, even if I didn't act in that, I still would've been blessed to network and observe the great filmmakers of our time. So it was completely worth it. And I'm telling you that your all-in moment is going to be completely worth it if you go all in, no matter the turnout, no matter what happens. When you go all in, there's something that happens in your mind and your body and your physiology that is profound, and it makes you into a stronger, more confident person. And definitely happier, definitely more fulfillment because you committed to yourself. And all that comes down to, it boils down to loving yourself deeper so you can follow through. And that moment changed everything, not because I got in the movie, but because the decision I made to go all in when everything in my life said it wasn't the right time. That's when you break into the second act of of your life or that period in your life. You go all in and your whole world shifts. Quick pause. If this resonated with you, I invite you to join the Direct Your Life newsletter. It's free. It comes to your inbox every week with behind-the-scenes lessons, exclusive content, and other cool things I come across from me to you. Go to tonysuriano.com/newsletter. Real stories, mindset shifts, psychology, creative breakthroughs, all on directing your life. Go to tonysuriano.com/newsletter. And now back to the episode. So what are we learning? What is the takeaway? Why did I share that? Well, I hope you were thinking about someplace, sometime in your life where you went all in, you fully committed, and the outcome was worth it. And if you haven't had those moments, now's the time to start because a life is meant to be lived to the max. You're not here on this earth to just be a mundane person wishing you were in a movie. You're here to live your life better than any movie. Okay, so I'm going to drill this. Takeaway number 1 is make the decision. Decide quickly, go all in, because when you do that, the clarity will follow the commitment. You will no doubt figure it out when you step into the arena. You will. So go. And what got you here won't get you to the next level. That means you will find new information, new people to help you along the way. And just remember, the moment you cut off the old world, everything sharpens and you can focus on that new meaningful world. Oh, by the way, I have this funny but not so funny anecdote. I was reflecting on a moment in my life where I was delivering packages 3 days a week, and it was night. I came up to this long driveway, so I went to the top with my van. And a gentleman, not so gentle, in his 70s came out and his wife came out. I handed them the package and then they just kind of watched me back up out of their driveway, but I had to turn around and my back tire went off the pavement onto his lawn just for a couple seconds. And then I said to myself, oops, let me just get back on the pavement. Let me, I had to do it one more time. So whoops. Back, and then I'm out of there. Nothing damaged. Seemingly, there wasn't some spinning of the tire with his lawn. But minutes later, after I delivered another package, that guy— I'm gonna call him an old coot, an old angry coot— drove his truck and cut me off, got out of the truck, stormed to me. He was yelling, you ruined my lawn! You messed up my lawn! He was cussing, and he was irate. And he was out of control. And I asked him, what's going on? And he's, you ruined my lawn. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize I did that. That's bullshit. He was just going at it. What's your information? What's your name? And I said, well, we can contact the company I work for and they can help and take care of your lawn. I mean, that's probably what could happen. I can't stop my shift to Fix your lawn. I felt sorry for him during this whole time because to be in your 70s and to chase someone down doing their job and yell at them and cuss at them, you have to have some problems. You're not directing your life. You probably are just wishing that you could focus on something that matters, but you haven't reflected enough to know what matters. So. You let something like this lawn damage consume you. And it was really, it was a sad scenario. He was like shaking. He had a pen. He was trying to write down all the information. When I called my supervisor, he was like, maybe we should call the cops. And it was just like a weird, crazy thing. And it was at night. And I rolled up my window halfway and he's like, why'd you roll your window up? And honestly, I just didn't want him to give me like a smack in the face. I mean, he, he wasn't some feeble old man. He was, you know, he was a tall guy, looked like he could walk fast. I mean, he was practically running to my car. And that is the story. And then he left. And the reason I shared that is because that was a pure example of him not directing his life. And you don't want to be that way. You want to be scared of a life like that. You don't want to get to the end and be chasing down People because they ruined a very small portion of your lawn. And I say the word ruined, but I didn't, I didn't see it, but I know my tires weren't spinning out like some crazy person. And he took it personal. He took it so personal. Now, if he was directing his life, which means prioritizing the things that matter and fulfill you and make you happy and surrounding yourself with the quality people. and staying healthy, he may have chased me down still a little upset and be like, hey, I'm upset and your van messed up my lawn. I know you probably didn't know it, but I was just wondering if I can talk to your manager, you know, we could fix that. That would be it. But he took it personal. So anything that you, anything in your life, sorry, I'm just, I'm like— No, no, no. Fired up about him because I'm— one, I'm proud of myself for not retaliating and getting out of my car or something and going old school on him. But two, just, again, feeling his pain for his life because he let someone else direct it. That's him trying to get back and feel like, oh, I own that. Cool. I chased him down and I told him. And that's not directing. That's not what it's about. So think about a time in your life when you overreacted, you freaked out, and you were out of control, which is the opposite of directing your life. So think about that, and I'll share takeaway 2, which is the fun part. And we're back to the exciting curiosity that we all have inside us. So it is the idea that you need to explore Put on your explorer gear when you enter this new world. When you make that decision, go all in and go for it and be curious and playful. Build new skills, build new confidence, put yourself in situations that make you grow. You can't grow inside an ordinary world. You can grow in the new world. That's what this is all about. So if you're debating, stop it. Make the decision, go in. And remember that when you're directing your own life, you're not going to freak out and chase someone down that ruined your lawn. Okay. All right. This episode has a challenge for you. Where are you half in and half out? Think about that. You know the old saying, one foot in, one foot out. Where are you and why? Next one. What's the decision you're already knowing you need to make? What's that decision you already know you need to make? And here's the, the call to action. This is what you need to do right now. Cut off the old world and take the first step. Into the new one today. You can do it. We all can do it. Are you willing to take that step? Thank you so much for listening. I know I'm in good company with you here because you're pushing your life and you're directing your life not because you're not enough, but because you know there's a next level. And I say this all the time, but as you do this, as you make your life better than any movie, and you have long-term well-being with your relationships and your mindset and your happiness, you're going to be more of a pleasure to be around. So when I meet you in the future, we're going to have a good time. We're going to have laughs. And that is how I like to think about this whole idea. Thanks so much again. And if you like this show, please give me a review on the Apple Podcast. Let me know what you think. And you can also email me your thoughts, your opinions, Violent Reactions at contact@tonysuriano.com. Let me know anything you want to hear on an upcoming episode, what's going on in your life, and how I can help you direct yours better. And remember, if you don't direct your life, someone else will.