Some Tensions Aren't Meant to Be Solved

Hey, this is Tim, and welcome to the Student Life Podcast, where we explore the everyday challenges and big questions of life through a biblical lens while navigating the realities of a secular world. Enjoy. Yo, what's up? This is your host, Tim Pratt Jr., and we're going to be jumping into a really good one today. Um, I think this is kind of one of my favorite topics That a lot of people know me, and I think I've said this before, my wife, she says that this word, this nuance intention stuff, and I was like, hey, it is what it is. Like, I don't want it to become a buzzword. Like, and I'm not saying I came up with these by any means, but like heart posture, when God gave me that a few years ago, like these are things that are not just clichés or again buzzwords. Like they really mean something to me. And, uh, my, my bro Caleb and I tag teamed on a few when my pastor had went on sabbatical. And like, I was just in ministry and God gave me this series, Heart Posture. And I just, I didn't really know how to communicate it. I just sat in the text. I studied, I studied. I was preaching, teaching to myself. And, and, and in it, and it really taught me something. And we're gonna get into the heart of this, uh, cuz somebody was talking to me like, I was like, man, how, how do you approach the text? Yeah. And I said, man, I still have my things that I go through. Of course, I believe in preparation. I don't believe preparation and spontaneous move of the Holy Spirit are enemies. I don't. I think, again, here it goes. I think it's a tension that we just have to steward well. Because I've seen a lot of people talk about the spontaneous move of the Holy Spirit, and they just was unprepared, and it was all over the place. And then they just trusted God was going to bring it all together. But then I've seen people that were like, Really, really prepared, great teachers, a lot of logic, a lot of truth. And it's like, bro, I'm not following you. I was like lost. Like, or this is just not resonating. It just seemed like you're teaching me a class or throwing a seminary book at me or something like that. So anywho, like I believe it's a mixture of both and, and so I'll just leave it at that. 'Cause it's a, it's no, let me, no, I'm not gonna leave it at that 'cause it's an exercise that I used to do. So I learned this when I was working in, I believe it was my, organizational leadership certification. Like, I went through this thing called Kyle Leadership, and it— like you saw, you do the individual leadership track, then you do teams leadership track, and then you do the organizational leadership track. And I believe it was like you run this exercise where you start with a team and you say, hey, you can only say but. So anytime somebody introduces something, you have to say but. Then you flip it, and now you do the same thing. You— somebody says something and you say and. So it just kind of shows you how to kind of exercise both of those things. But anywho, that's just kind of the, the kind of setting up the stage here for this one. Uh, so the title of this episode is actually Some Tensions Aren't Meant to Be Solved. Now there is going to be like a little, uh, disclaimer here because this is not to say we— and I'm gonna get into that— we don't make decisions. Like, we have to make decisions. We just can't sit up here because this could really get weaponized and it's like, well, we never make decisions here because we're just trying to figure out the tension. We don't want to overcorrect. That's not what I'm saying here. But again, we'll unpack that. But getting going, moving on, is that what I really, really wanna get at here in this episode today is that I believe, this is me, mature leadership requires knowing the difference between a problem that needs to be solved and a tension that needs to be managed. Now, I heard this a while back. I'm drawing a blank. It's back in the '70s. And then Andy Stanley, Made it, uh, he, he kind of brought it back up in a podcast I was listening to and I was like, man, I remember that. I remember studying this guy's material again. Like, man, I've been through a lot of certification programs being an agile coach in project management, but I remember a guy, man, I'm drawing a blank. I'll put it in the notes. But he was talking about like managing this again. This was back in the '70s. And so of course with technology and science and just running through a lot of different type of things. Mm-hmm. We have gotten better at it and have put better language around it, but the guy that really popularized this again was in the '70s. And so I just believe that in any type of context, some things aren't problems. So just right out the gate, I don't think everything is a problem. I think we as leaders or managers or pastors, whatever, just regardless of where you're leading at or serving at, I think we just naturally want resolution. And so we see, like, for example, we see competing priorities. I hear this all the time. We see perspective, we hear perspectives, we listen to people and their responsibilities, and we want to figure out, like, which one is right? Where should I lean? And I just think that sometimes all of these things are legitimate. That's why we see them across the board. I don't think anyone does this perfectly. I just think people steward it very well. You have really good stewards of it and you have really poor stewards of it. poor stewards of it. So for example, you take my family, my faith, my career, uh, ministry that I do— all of these, like, they aren't equally important. Of course God is center, he's first. And even when I say first, I like the language center, but he is first in my life. But, but it's a center as well. And what I mean by that, like, okay, when my daughter was born— I have 2 boys When my daughter was born and my wife was down, I could not get my devotion time in like I wanted to. Like that hour to hour and a half, 2-hour range, it was gone. I was, man, I— and I was getting frustrated because I'm like, man, I'm just trying to keep it all together. I'm trying. I couldn't work out. But what I had to do is like, hey, as I look back, different season. So sometimes it was just a, a prayer, or when I would Hey, hey, like I was asking my wife, just lay down, I got her. I would go in there and pray and rock our baby back to sleep. Well, she was actually in the room here. I would just get up, hold her, come sit in her chair and, uh, the rocking chair and just, and, and pray and commune with God. Uh, I, I improvised. I would put my headphones on sometimes, just listen to the scriptures, and we both fall asleep. I didn't get that deep study time, but I just, I had to improvise and things like that. So again, here it is. I didn't, but I, uh, so I was off for 6 weeks, right? 6 weeks. Yeah. But then I had to go back to work because my, like, uh, I forgot what it's called, but that, that time was up that they had given me to kind of spend. So now it's just, here it goes again. Like, of course my wife is not working, still got 2 other boys in the household. My daughter is here, she's only 6 weeks old. My mom and dad can only stay up here so much, as well as my in-laws. So again, it's that center— it's, uh, centeredness. It's— I had to just like, Lord, help me, because none of this is in balance. I'm all over the place. But God was teaching me how to steward those things where, hey, like, the house is not as clean as it usually be, uh, or we can just bring somebody in and, and just moving on like through that type of posturing. Um, but, but all again represented like real responsibilities, so they all required something from me. And that's where, like, back then, man, that's where, like, the challenge that I learned— thank you, Holy Spirit— is that it isn't so much in choosing one or eliminating it. Again, because, like, I could have been like, well, hey, I don't want to work anymore. I'm gonna just take care of my family. Then again, I know God is the source. He's the ultimate provider. But at the same time, he gave man work. He gave me a responsibility to lead my family. And, like, again, we can play up with words and all that type of stuff here. But I have a responsibility. So I could have been like, ah, well, you know, I don't want to work, I'ma just get the boys to school. But then now where is the money coming from? Like, let's have a real conversation because I think we like the spiritual bypass stuff, but where's the money coming from? Now God can touch someone's heart and just keep sowing, or you could say, well man, you could have just had a business or invested where it takes— That's not where I was at in life, so something had to be, something had to be done. And so I just had to learn through, through that lens that it's more so about faithfully stewarding through just changing seasons. This is why stewardship is so important to me. So again, like, as leaders, you know, I know, like, we love to solve problems, but not everything is a problem to solve. Some things we have to remain, and we can't just put it on autopilot. And that's what sucks sometimes as a leader or a manager or a good steward. It's like, man, I want to figure this out. You're not going to figure it out. You gotta steward it. It's gonna look different every day. And then when you add the complexity of just us as humans, like, that's an unpredictable complexity right there that we just can't account for. And so as we get it, like I say, just because it has a different weight does not equal— doesn't mean no importance is what I'm trying to say here. So seasons, all that type of stuff, they can change. Um, what faithfulness looks like. It can, because just like I was telling you with my, my wife, my kids, my job, ministry, all that type of stuff, I don't, I don't believe I went to church and did leadership responsibilities that whole 6 weeks. I was still communicating and doubt, like listening to certain things and listening to the messages, but I wasn't actively leading at the capacity that I normally do because that was a seasonal thing. But I was preparing before that. And we're way better now as just from a ministry standpoint from back then in 2021 when my daughter was born. Um, so again, all I'm trying to say is, man, don't solve what needs stewardship. Don't try to solve for things that needs proper stewardship. That's just what it is. That's what it's always going to be, in my opinion. Now, how do we kind of broaden this out? So I talked about my family life, but let me go back to when I was a senior technical project manager. Like, I could be accountable for making sure work is moving through. So I had to like talk with a lot of different people from understanding the stakeholder needs and wants to the vision of the stakeholders to this reality with talking to all of these different types of people. Like, this is where this whole nuanced intention thing was really shaped for me. I believe being a technical project manager in certain domains is one of the most challenging mental jobs there is out there. Now, it might be a CEO or VP, and they can challenge it because I've never sat in their seat. But for me, the technical project manager role is extremely difficult. Again, especially when you kind of work up and you— and then you start hearing like what the client is saying and just balancing all of that. But anyway, moving along is that I would be responsible for moving the work forward, but that didn't mean I possessed like every perspective. I didn't need it. I didn't need every perspective to make the decision per se. I needed to make sure the right voices were in the right room. Like product could be seeing it differently than technology, or technology could be seeing it differently than operations. And this just goes on and on and on. Like everybody can see something that one couldn't. line service could see something that everyone is missing. But I'm sitting there and I'm just kind of bringing it up and finding a way to ask a question and really trying to be neutral, like making sure that I don't have an agenda. And I think that's one thing that has really, by the grace of God, served me well. Like my agenda typically is like, hey, I just want to see whatever the vision is successful. Now I raised my hand. I wasn't like this. I used to be a yes man and just keep things going because I was like, I want— I didn't really know how to have the— I didn't have the courage to like say stuff to leadership and certain people. But as I got a mentor and a coach, mentors, and I would read more and see, oh man, leaders have echo chambers. A lot of people do narrative controlling. So I was like, oh man, how do I say these things the right way or ask the right questions? And man, that, when I figured that out by the grace of God, that just changed the game. But we're not talking about my career today in that light. So again, I just, it was, it was that type of dynamic and balancing act. So I just, Like, I— that's why I'm kind of like, when you put like one person in charge of just everything— this is what I love about the Bible when it talks about overseer, because again, I think that person is just helping keeping things moving and functioning. But when you put one person in charge of everything, yes, it can bring a level of clarity and accountability. And I could be wrong here, but clarity of authority doesn't necessarily create completeness of perspective. Yeah, let me say that again. Clarity of authority doesn't necessarily create completeness of perspective. Like, that's— I don't know. Like, and what I mean by that is that if that person is, say, hey, you know, like, if they're not empowered with a level of authority and they are not willing to seek certain perspectives in here, like, if they lean more— if they already are leaning towards a certain perspective, then it's just, it's not gonna, it's not gonna produce what I, I might be, I'm not, maybe I'm not, maybe I might not be saying that right, but it's just not gonna go the way that I think it should go. Because again, you can't, you, you can't just move in a certain way as a leader, or if you are the, that person is solely responsible and not integrate other perspectives. Like what I'm trying to say is leadership integrates perspectives. Other perspectives matter, but at the same time, we'll integrate those, but I still might make a decision that don't lean towards that. But if, but you have a person that leans toward just one perspective, then you're not gonna be really taking into consideration of the other perspectives or having that integration there. So it's just sometimes just asking the question again, it's just the right people. Who needs to be at the table that I don't have? Like, what are we missing? What are our blind spots? I think, again, those are things that just have to be stewarded. Like, you can't really solve for that all the time. So I just, I just think like that is very, very huge. And then I think, uh, one thing that I consistently ask too is like, what does each perspective allow me to see that the others don't? Like, for example, just think about it. Uh, one person, like one response to a messy decision from a person is simply giving one person completely control. Like we said again, and, and I get it, but sometimes that person can have just too much control. We don't have enough checks and balances and all that. Like, I get it. Sometimes you have to have that person in control. to rise up and make the decision. But I've kind of explained that, I don't wanna beat a dead horse. The thing is that that may solve ambiguity, it might, but it also could create another problem down the road if that person has what we just talked about, blind spots. If they are incentivized towards a different direction, or their expertise naturally pull them toward one part of the system. If they are a product-driven person, then they're gonna lean towards that way. If they are client service, if they're more technology, and they're not doing the work to hear hear other voices are asking that question that I just asked, then this is a danger. And sometimes it could just— this is what leads leaders to just overcorrect. Like, overcorrection feels clean, but clean doesn't always mean that it's the most wisest thing to do. So we have to be careful that as leaders, uh, whatever we're doing, like even mine, like I like to thought spark with people. One perspective, like, is not dominating. That's what I love about even going back biblically when it talks about a plurality of elders. Like, I understand the functioning of, and I know certain ministries carry this out differently, but I love that because if the pastor is the only voice that's being heard day in and day out, week in and week out— now, now I feel like that should be the most consistent voice in the local church because that is to set Pastor or shepherd of that local congregation who should be an undershepherd of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. But it should be a plurality of elders as well, helping him. Like, okay, he heard from God. Let's let's let's talk about this. And ultimately, it might be like he might pray and say, guys, I just really believe depending on his the way he governs and things like that. Again, his leadership team. I don't know. It's gonna look different for everybody. But I can see people yielding and say, well, Pastor, you know, you have shown us a, a consistent— it's not always that things have just been perfect or anything, but it's just like, if you say this, you have shown us the integrity and the character, uh, that, that we believe we're gonna go with this. We might submit and go with this. And I believe certain leaders can do that even with outside of the faith base. It might be something, hey, look, certain leaders, how many books have you read? Like just a certain hunch on something. And it's like, it was like, man, And it's like this can play out differently, but then it's like, oh no, man, I'm so good. Just think about all entrepreneurial books. And sometimes those are exceptions rather than a rule. It can happen is what I'm saying. So we just have to, we have to look at that. But I, I, I believe in this concept called systems thinking, systems coaching. So we want to listen and look out for the whole system. The Bible even talks a lot about seeking, uh, to understand. So we should at least seek to understand and then decide. Now we might not understand Everything. I can't remember who this coined to, but they say when you have about 60 to 70% of the information, just make the decision and don't fall for the, what is it? Oh man, the fallacy trap. I might be pronouncing it wrong, but it's like, okay, clarity comes in degrees. Be transparent, inspect, and adapt. Like that, that's so decide, be transparent, inspect, and adapt. I think we just need to model that more as leaders. And that's why I personally just keep coming back. Um, to some tensions don't disappear. Like, some just don't disappear. After I make a decision today, tomorrow I might have to steward that decision again. That's just the way it works. Like, like, it just— it's just the way. And I like, man, when you think about John, um, 1:14, like, just think about some tensions that I kind of opened up earlier in this episode. Like grace and truth, like grace and truth. I just, and I don't want to fit this into like a framework per se where it's just like I'm just sitting up here trying to like prove that this is a proof text that we should just manage tensions. But again, we see that. We see the, we also see divine sovereignty and human responsibility in Acts 2:23. It's a very striking example. Like Jesus, Jesus is delivered according to God's plan. Yet those who crucified him remain responsible. Like that faith and wisdom. Like look at this faith and wisdom. Hey faith, I'm going to trust God. I'm going to Hebrews now. I believe, I trust God. My faith is in him. However, I'm still going to walk wisely, or I should say and walk wisely. I'm going to trust God while walking wisely. Oh, this is a good one. Generosity and stewardship. I believe it's in 2 Corinthians. Like, it holds this— it's all this willing generosity alongside thoughtful responsibility beautifully. If people just spend time with that text, 2 Corinthians— I think it's 2 Corinthians 8 through 9— it holds it so beautifully of how do we should be navigating this, handling resources, but at the same time being generous. Uh, let's go to Philippians 2. We just talked about this in our brotherhood Not too long ago, effort plus God work in us. I believe Paul just packaged it. A lot of people go to 1 Corinthians 9. I'd like— I love 1 Corinthians 9. I believe it's in 1 Corinthians 9, but I do like Philippians 2:12-13. It's effort plus God's work in us. Like, effort plus God— like, it takes work, it takes human effort. However, I also know that it's God working within me. Rest. Here it is. Rest. Rest plus sacrifice and service. Rest plus rest and sacrifice and service. Both have a place in faithful discipleship. Jesus, he was sacrificial. He's the ultimate sacrifice. Let's just start there. But as he was fully God and fully man, he carried his life. He walked his life out. He lives the perfect servant leader. I mean, he was just service personified, sacrificial personified, but he also rested in his humanity. He rested. So I like— I, man, I, I don't, I don't know. Like, generosity matters, stewardship matters. Generosity without wisdom can become irresponsibility. Again, let me say it again: generosity without stewardship can become irresponsibility. Stewardship without generosity can become fear. Or self-protection, my money, my resources, I did this. Biblical maturity, even the Bible asks us to hold both faithfully. And I just think people, as we as people, don't like to hold tension well. And I think as we understand this and we navigate this in our leadership, when we can sit in a room and say, okay man, multiple things are true here, multiple things, but how do I bring all these things together and rise up? Now I'm a person of faith. This is where mine comes in. I believe in prayer. I believe in going on, Praying and wise counsel. I believe in consistent preparation. I believe in consulting my notes, like just looking at things, looking back, keeping up with data, all this type of stuff, and just try to make an informed decision. And if I'm wrong, I own it and I own it quickly. That's just how I personally look at things as I navigate life. And I would say like the last thing, man, as we wrap this one up, because this is the one I really want to do. Uh, with the importance of tension, do not let this become analysis paralysis. In other words, do not let this stop you from making a decision, because this is where I feel like most people would like, okay man, you talked a lot about tension, but it's people that they just stay in a never-ending state of holding multiple perspectives. But that shouldn't be an excuse for endless analyzing. I hear you, but we just analyze, analyze, analyze it. And somebody needs to step up and make a decision. Somebody needs to step up and provide some judgment. Somebody somewhere— we can go back to COVID with the whole work from home, not work on this, isn't that like— somebody should, somebody should have a clear decision authority. And sometimes that person has to make a call others may disagree with. And like I said earlier, we can sit down and have that conversation. Hey, you might not agree with where I'm going with this, you might, but I will explain my logic behind it. I do think we should do that as leaders. We should. We should. So like, listen does not— listening does not mean delay it forever, keep kicking the can down the road. Uh, understanding does not mean like you always have to have just a full consensus. That's not what I'm saying. Um, or just everybody like a unanimous agreement. That's not what I'm saying at all. We can hear multiple perspectives, but sometimes a decision still has to be made. And sometimes the same people say, yeah, I'm for you, you're gonna frustrate. Sometimes people you frustrate, they end up being for you. It's just a balancing act. So that's why it just brings me to like that question, that fundamental question, do we have enough understanding to make a sound decision? And here's the last part of it, and learn from it. That's what I think. And that's why I say mature leaders, in my opinion, mature leaders, some of the wisest leaders and wise teams I've worked with, they can hold more than one truth. Now I'm not talking about Bible right now in the context of say, oh, it's all— that's not what I'm saying. I'm talking about in the day-to-day dynamics, whether I'm navigating faith, family, work, ministry, or whatever, helping organization make a difficult decision. Maturity doesn't always give me a clean answer. I have to hold things, and sometimes I just have to, um, Lord help me, Holy Spirit. Sometimes maturity gives me the capacity to remain present. Inside the tension long enough to understand, hey, what are you asking of me? And you know what, I might have to get up tomorrow and I have to manage that tension all over again. That's what it is. So again, some of the best leaders and teams that I work with can sit in a room where multiple things are true. And at once without feeling compelled to quickly collapse them into one answer. That is probably the hardest one for me, because look, your boy sometimes will wear himself out trying to resolve something that God might simply be asking me to faithfully steward. That's it, nothing more, nothing else. I love you all, man. I hope this one helped you. Helped you? If it did, share it with somebody, and man, we can just go. Uh, I'm always praying for you all, man. I'm especially praying for leaders because Because it's a lot of hard decisions that need to be made, that are being made in this outcome— I mean, in his day-to-day, especially with just all the noise and stuff that is going on. So again, man, love you all. Be blessed. Thank you for rocking with your boy. Talk to you soon. Thanks for joining me today on the Student Life Podcast. And remember, learning never stops and wisdom grows as we seek truth in both scripture and life. And until next time, keep walking faithfully and thinking deeply. Be blessed.