What Leadership Taught Me About Myself

Hey, this is Tim, and welcome to the Student Life Podcast, where we explore the everyday challenges and big questions of life through a biblical lens while navigating the realities of a secular world. Enjoy. Yo, what's up? This is your host Tim Pratt Jr., and I do have a leadership one for you today. Um, so that, that's actually what a few people have reached out to me saying, man, so the character— hey, listen, I really appreciate y'all. The character one, um, I mean, I really appreciate the feedback from on that one, man. Even especially like some of my, um, like the younger audience that rock with me, um, I should say like I'm 36, I'm still relatively young, you know, to my 16 to 20-some year olds, probably not, but nevertheless I'm relatively still young. But I am getting up there, man, and I embrace it. I love it. I mean, it's a blessing. This one, I'm gonna call it What Leadership Taught Me About Myself. So matter of fact, man, as I'm recording this, I'm actually in Canada now. I'll be flying back home tomorrow. So this one's going to be light editing. I'm sitting in the hotel right now recording this one, and I'm doing this for a reason because I look back— the last one I actually recorded in Illinois because I traveling with my wife on military assignment. And then so happened after some travel delays and cancellations, Piera just wrapped up our internal 360 Leadership Compass training. And man, they threw a lot at us, but it was so balanced, man. Just the people and all. It's always dope getting up here and seeing like a lot of people I just see through a screen most of the time. So that was amazing. But this one right here, man, we're going to call it what leadership taught me about myself. Um, and the reason why I'm doing this is because one of the things I want to point out is that leadership didn't just teach me how to lead others. Like, I know that's one of the big reasons we study it. Like, I am a leadership junkie. I am a leadership nerd, team nerd, team— like, just studying team dynamics systems and coaching and all this type of stuff, facilitation. Uh, most of my certification background is in, you know, leadership project management and coaching, uh, at enterprise, team, and individual level. And so I love it, uh, and it teaches me how much I don't know. Every time I go sit in something, um, it's just— it, it shows me that there's just so much more to learn, uh, so much more to adapt to. Uh, but also too, like, I think I know what I know, and I strive to kind of, you know, continue to build and innovate on the fundamentals. But what I really want to get at again is it just, it teaches me how much more I still need to learn about myself. So for example, we took this thing called the Predictive Index, and to me it kind of looks, seems like it gets into predictive analytics. And I'm not going to nerd out, but I'm about to literally integrate this as I think about AI and coaching, AI and leadership. And now with this whole predictive and data stuff going on, but that's a whole nother subject. But one of the first things that I want to get into is that when you think about leadership, it is one thing we have to understand that it is more than just being nice. So for example, I've always been big on the people side. Like I love people. I love Hearing from them, trying to champion them, advocate for them, coaching them. This is what I love. This is one of the main things I love about leadership. But I've also learned that loving people and leading people aren't always the same. And, and what I mean by that is that, uh, when we think of being kind— not, not nice, but kind— kindness isn't, isn't the absence of accountability. So Like, I believe when we are striving just to be nice, we want to be liked. And sometimes we don't hold people accountable or we over-index like on just like, ah, you know, if I hold them accountable, that's like mean. No, holding people accountable with the right posture is still kindness. Compassion. Like when we think of that word again, here it goes. It can be both. And compassion isn't avoiding hard conversations. Uh, that's something I used to really stay far away from early in my career, again, because like a hard conversation felt like I was scolding people. And, um, but you can, again, with the right posture, right tone, right cadence, just learning how to communicate, uh, our choice of words, our temperament, all this stuff matters, uh, because like especially like you got to keep in mind at the end of the day you still talking to another human being, especially an adult, uh, but compassion isn't avoiding hard conversation. Like again, leadership requires both care, uh, care and courage. So for example, I think it was somebody saying like, yeah, I do believe leadership is influence, but I also believe leadership is a lot of other things. But I think one of the biggest things about leadership is that we have to have courage. Like, the role that I'm stepping into now is taking even greater courage because I have to speak, um, I, I, I have— I listen to a lot of different people with a lot of different perspectives, especially now again moving into like a senior agile coach role. It's the first of the company that I work for, like full-time internal position. I know they've had consultants and things before, and so it's a lot of weight. And then when you, like I say, think about AI and all the data I'm challenging up and down and across, it's tough. And so I'm actually reaching out, like needing a coach of a coach. And so because it's a lot, but it's requiring a lot of courage and humility at the same time. So I just believe that, uh, for, for me, being tender on people, uh, doesn't mean that I have to be soft on expectations. I don't have to be soft on results. Like, we, we still have something to deliver, we still have something to accomplish. And this is whether I'm in the secular side, uh, and especially on the ministry side. And I think a lot of times we lose sight on this on the ministry side because we don't like the fact that We don't like talking about outcomes. We don't like talking about results and excellence sometimes. No, like, I believe that it's a greater standard on us when we think about this in the context of ministry. So for me, I guess what I'm trying to say is, as I just reflect or introspect, I've learned that accountability and compassion aren't opposite. Like, healthy leadership— when we think about healthy leadership, it requires both accountability and compassion. And like, we have to stop making it— it's like both of these things are enemies or something. And we can see this in Ephesians 4. Like, like, if we think about speaking the truth in love, uh, think about it. Paul doesn't choose truth or love. He holds both together. And this is where you see a lot of times when I talk about tension or nuance, like, I'm not just saying that word for, uh, like a buzzword. Like, it's, it's true. Like, a lot of things that we have to have, but we have to hold both and, uh, both together and not over-index on the other. Another thing that I will say that I learned is when it comes to conflict, now this is like the one thing that I am really studying and practicing. I'm using— I'm actually going to use AI more to help me with this, you know, more so like the chat feature. But conflict reveals more than it creates. I'm going to say that again. Conflict reveals more than it creates. Now I study a lot of frameworks when it comes to, um, conflict management, conflict resolution, like books, all that type of stuff. Like it, it, it, it gives you something to help you grab and just kind of, you know, orange or, uh, uh, orange yourself around it and things of that nature. Uh, but, but really conflict has taught me and this is teaching me a greater level of, of self-awareness. Um, so for example, I notice when I'm in conflict now, uh, it's starting to expose my triggers. Um, like I am learning, like when people say things, how they approach me. I don't believe that there's nothing wrong in the trigger itself. I believe it's how we respond. Like we shouldn't be reacting to it. I believe it's how we respond to the trigger. Um, broken expectations has revealed things about my assumptions. Like I'm kind of like, why, why are my expectations Why are they broken? Did I clarify, or are we both moving off assumptions? Um, as much as I hate to admit it, losing my cool has taught me things like success never could. Like, when I lose myself in a moment, especially in leadership, it sucks. And so that's why I'm saying that, like, like, truth be told, like, keep reading, keep listening to the podcast, especially like your boy podcast. Uh, but some lessons I just believe can only be learned from uh, experience. I believe that we can be better prepared, but I do think some lessons are better learned through experience. Now please don't take that out of context and say I gotta live and learn. I just like— no, that's not what I'm saying. But I'm saying that I still have a mentor, still have a coach, still read the book, still listen to Pocket, still listen to YouTube. But also too, some things I just believe will come when we actually experience, because some of the most important things I've learned in leadership have come from moments I wish I could do over is all I'm saying. I'm like, I'm telling you like straight up. And again, we can look at this with James 1, and this is why I believe that the Bible says— or scripture, I should say— as well as the Bible says, quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. It's not because anger is sinful or that it never happens, is because I just believe what we choose again to display. Um, matter of fact, it's— and I think in the book Man's Search for Meaning, and I'm probably gonna butcher because I heard this a long time ago, and it's something I strive to live by by Michael Hyatt when he said that, um, put a pause in between the— between the stimulus and response. We should put a pause because it's that pause that allows us to choose to respond rather than react. And it's where man's humanity is displayed. And that is what I believe that we have to do. I believe that is maturity in those moments. All right, man, I hope y'all— I hope y'all tracking with me, man. Uh, so number, uh, I would say number 3. Yeah, we're gonna— we're gonna do notes. All right, confidence is different than certainty. Confidence is different than certainty. Like, so early in my leadership, I often, um, would spend a lot of time, um, hesitant because, uh, let me see, how can I say this? Oh man, I'll say this, okay? Like, early on in my career, uh, before— of course, before I got to where I'm at today, um, I often seek a lot of clarity. I didn't lean into like a lot of confidence. Like, so I would have the— like, I would read and go over things and all that type of stuff, but I didn't have the confidence. So I was doing the work. Like, I've all— well, I'm not gonna say always, but for a long time I've always been a person that desired to learn, study. And even I remember where one of my managers said sometimes, man, Tim, like, you know, a lot of times Tim asks the right questions, um, but he doesn't do it in meetings, uh, because again, I lack that, that I lack that confidence. But that again, once I was taught that confidence is not about knowing everything, uh, confidence is trusting what you've learned while remaining teachable. I'm gonna say that again. Confidence is trusting what you have learned while remaining teachable. Like, this is why I love, uh, I can't, man, I can't remember who to credit this to, but they would say like, humility isn't thinking less of yourself, um It's like humility— yeah, humility isn't thinking, uh, less of yourself. It's like when you think about it, humility is remaining open to growth in that context. So in other words, it's like humility is not necessarily that you have a low degree of yourself. It's thinking rightly of yourself. It's not thinking less, it's thinking rightly. So you don't want to think more than or less than. You want to think rightly, and God has defined that. And now from a faith standpoint Mine is rooted in Christ. But also too, humility is remaining that I'm— hey, I'm, I'm— there's always something that I can grow at, always something I can mature at. But at the same time, I can still believe that I belong in the room, but I don't have to strive to take control of the room. I don't have to strive to project or mask things like, hey, I belong because I put in the work. That right there is confidence to me. To me it is. But again, I don't have to control it. I don't have to dominate the room. I am here and I belong because I'm doing the work, but I'm also open to still learning. And so for me, as I continue to involve and as I say, like, what leadership has taught me about myself, another big thing about this is context has mattered more than I realized. And truthfully, for me, I would say this is probably one of my bigger, biggest shifts because I deal with like a lot of systems thinking, a lot of systems coaching, and I don't— I can't get all context all the time, but I strive to kind of connect the dots, course pray, sit with it, stress test my own thinking. Again, I say like thought sparring. I forgot where I got that from. And just like that, that state, you know, like Understanding that, okay, like, here's another one, like, what worked in this season might not work in the other. Um, it's like, you know, the context of the emotional health, mental health, all this type of stuff. Like, I've spent less time looking for universal answers. I do. I've spent less time looking for universal answers and more time to just understand what's actually happening. Uh, this is why sometimes when I hear people, like, again, even going back to the ministry context, when people are preaching and teaching, and I see them over-indexing on one set of scripture, but they're not giving weight to something that's not necessarily a contradiction, but it's progressive. It's like, okay, like when you think about Proverbs, how it looks so scattered, you'd be like, okay, what do I do? Like, this is— but no, this is where you pray and the Holy Spirit comes in, because now it's about application. Lord, how do I apply this? And then over on the other side, same leadership, he can do the same. And then he also helped, um He can help work through other people to help us with that. So I don't, I don't like cliché answers. I like— now I get it. Like, if you ask me, I'm not saying this, this might not even stick with this, but like, I'm looking at a desk and it's brown. I'm not about to be like, well, you know, I'm trying to see like what type of brown is it. Like, now, I mean, that might be for somebody that really need it, but for me it's brown, bro. I don't— light brown, dark brown, middle brown. Mocha, like it's brown. Like, that's what I'm trying to say. Like, I'm trying— like, what I'm trying to get at is like, there are things that, yes, okay, like straight up it's black and white, but there are also things like I gotta understand them. And look, I'm trying to connect the dots because, uh, you know, like, again, I'm big on proverbs, just understanding before answering. Matter of fact, John C. Maxwell says it like this, uh, before you attempt to set things right, make sure you see things right. I'm gonna say that again: before you attempt to set things right, make sure you see things right. And so, uh, that has become one of my, like, biggest leadership values. Uh, it was a video I'd done, like, a long time ago, and I was just on to something where I was calling it contextual leadership. And so, uh, man, that, that one right there, I would say again, I, I probably could go back and revisit that one. Um, Another one I would say, uh, strengths can become liabilities. Um, and what I, what I mean by that, um, every strength we have to remember has a shadow side. Like, in other words, what made you successful today could be your biggest limitation tomorrow, especially when you think of how fast things are moving. And so we just have to really understand, uh, that like sometimes growth isn't always about just adding more and more things, like, like, you know, getting more involved in our strengths. Sometimes it's just recalibrating something. Now again, this does not mean you abandon your strengths. You just learn, like, you know, for this example, you learn, um, when they are needed and then when you need to yield, when you need to kind of back off. Because, you know, Bible talks about it in Corinthians, like, you know, different gifts, different functions, and different movements. So not every strength is needed in every situation is what I'm trying to say. I'm gonna say that again. Not every strength is needed in every situation. And so for me, as I, as I just, you know, really wrap this up, like, told you it's gonna be a quick one, um, the biggest surprise I would say in leadership, uh, just again, wasn't learning how to lead others. It wasn't. It was discovering how much leadership will reveal about myself, what it continues to reveal about myself, and what I know it will reveal to me uh, as I look back, probably in the next 10 years. So I just, you know, want to encourage you, man, like, if you're leading in any type of capacity, um, like, just, just ask, like, man, what is this showing me about me? Like, it is way deeper than just leading others. It is a lot about us growing and maturing so we can become like that image. Paul says it best: Follow me as I follow Christ. And so when I'm leading anything, whether it's directly or indirectly, man, I just want people to see Christ. I want people to see someone dedicated to excellence. I want somebody to see like, man, this is how he handles, um, you know, moments that he missed the mark, because we are going to do it. This is how he repents. Like, I can go on and on, man. This is how he adapts. And, uh, that's, that's huge to me. So I just want to encourage you again, when you think about your leadership, uh, acts, like, just sit, get down, sit, sit, take some time to reflect and say, man, what, what has leadership taught me about me? Thanks for joining me today on the Student Life Podcast. And remember, learning never stops and wisdom grows as we seek truth in both scripture and life. And until next time, keep walking faithfully and Thank you deeply. Be bliss.