In this self‑help video, Victoria S. Dorsano explains that negative thoughts and anxiety are normal, but they often arise from inaccurate personal stories we create to make sense of events. She argues that these stories can trap us in limiting identities and increase anxiety. To break the cycle, she introduces a four‑step framework she calls the “4 C’s”: 1. Catch – become aware of negative thoughts, notice them in conversation or internal dialogue, and write them down. 2. Curiosity – ask why the thought exists, explore its origins (childhood messages, past experiences, etc.). 3. Compassion – treat yourself with kindness and patience, recognizing the brain’s protective intent rather than judging yourself. 4. Challenge – interrogate the thought’s rationality, evidence, and permanence, and re‑frame it with more accurate, empowering language. She illustrates each step with health‑and‑wellness examples (diet failures, will‑power myths, catastrophizing about food) and emphasizes that changing the narrative frees you from a fixed identity, allowing personal growth. The video concludes with a brief recap of the 4 C’s and a standard call‑to‑action for likes and subscriptions.
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Today I'm going to teach you some simple ways to stop negative thinking and stop having constant anxiety cycle through that negative thinking. First of all, before we get started, I want to let you know it's completely normal to have negative thoughts. We all do. We all have negative thoughts. It's a normal part of being a human, really, because we have these negative thoughts or these fears or these anxieties that come up because we're trying to tell ourselves a story. We're trying to connect the dots between events that have occurred or things that people have to us. We're trying to fill in the gaps because a lot of the times it's information that doesn't make sense and we try to make sense of it. However, we are fallible and we tend to make up fake stories or stories that don't have, um, you know, accurate information or 100% accurate information in those lines. And then we end up having some kind of negative thought or perceive something that happened as negative or a negative experience that we then create anxiety off of. So a lot of this is our own doing and it's not actually what's happened to us. It's how we've perceived what's happened to us. And again, completely normal. It's actually, you know, somewhat of a protection mechanism for our brains to try to understand the world around us and what happens to us. So I don't want you guys to feel bad that you have negative thoughts or anxiety about it. It's a very natural and normal human experience. So these negative thoughts can really look like many different things, especially in the realms of health and wellness. I've coached a lot of people and I've, I've heard a lot of different negative thoughts and perceptions, and I've also had them myself. Some of those being, for example, "No diet's ever worked for me in the past, so why even try another one?" "I have no willpower, that's why I'm fat." Or another one is, "Ugh, if I eat this french fry, I swear I'm gonna gain 5 pounds tomorrow." And it sounds kind of crazy if you haven't ever said those to yourself before, maybe said them in different forms, but these are real things that, you know, I thought, people I've coached have thought. They are negative thoughts that we've created off of perceived past experiences that might not have actually happened that way. So let's break this down. So really the problem with these thoughts is obviously the negativity brings anxiety, but it also pigeonholes you into being a certain way or a certain person. You're basically limiting yourself and your capacity to change. You're saying because X happened, I must be Y, and then because you're Y, you can never be Z. So it really pigeonholes you and limits the amount of growth you can have as a person. If you allow these negative thoughts to start to create an identity in who you are. So today I'm going to show you some ways to identify those thoughts and then change them. So there's 4 steps to this process. You can call them the 4 C's. They all start with C's so you can remember them easily. The first one is to catch the negative thought, and this can take some time. So, you know, part of this is being patient with yourself along this process. You're catching those negative thoughts, you're catching those things that you either think internally or sometimes say out loud, and then writing them down. This is crucial for the beginning stages of this when you're catching these thoughts. To make it more of a conscious behavior, you want to write them down. Now, this may be in a note on your phone or on paper if you're a pen and paper type of person. Whatever is the easiest way for you to do that, that's what I recommend to catch those negative thoughts. So notice when somebody is asking you something or you're just having a conversation, the words that you use. Are you boxing yourself in? Are you saying, because this happened, I'm always this way? Are you saying, you know, Dieting or exercising is really hard for me because it always has been. Just noticing those patterns, it's really important. Or another form of it may look like catastrophizing. So looking at something and being like, oh, because, you know, I didn't have a good breakfast this morning, I might as well just eat like crap for the rest of the day. That happens a lot too. So these are some of the ways that these negative thoughts can really take effect in our life. The second step is to be curious. Yes, curiosity is the key to growth. If you're a naturally curious person, that's awesome. You just have to apply it to yourself. If you're not, there are ways to start to curate curiosity. So just wondering about yourself, the way you work. So in terms of these negative thoughts, wondering why are they there, getting curious as to how these existed in the first place. Why do I think that way? Where did this come from? Was I told this when I was a child, or has this been based off of my past experiences, or did I see somebody go through this? So you start to really get curious about where that thought came from, where the origin of that thought is. So the third step is to have compassion, to have compassion and understanding for why those thoughts are there in the first place, why we have formed beliefs off of these, you know, these thoughts or these origins of these thoughts and to just really allow yourself to have that loving compassion and patience and understanding and not make yourself wrong for having these negative thoughts again and for not— for taking on these stories. We all do it again. Like I said, it's part of a protection mechanism we have to get through the day to, you know, process things quickly. And we don't always process them correctly. And that's okay. Just have compassion for yourself. And then finally, the fourth step is really to challenge these thoughts, to ask questions about them, asking, is this a rational thought? Is this something that's scientifically proven? Is this something that I've experienced time and time again? Is this something that can't change in the future? Really asking yourself these questions about these thoughts as to where they came from, why they're there, and if they're accurate. That's the key part of this fourth step is challenging the accuracy and the reliability of this information, and then being humble enough to accept that you may have created a story that's not true. And like I said, there's no shame in that. We all do it as human beings. It's part of the way we're wired to do things, connecting those dots and creating those stories. But we have to take that responsibility and not let the stories own us, but we have to own them and understand that we can change them. And that's a really empowering thing at the end of the day, knowing that we have this power to rewrite our own stories into dump out the head trash that's been given to us that we've, we've, you know, claimed as ours. We can let that go as soon as we decide to challenge those thoughts and reframe them from a different aspect. So when you challenge them and ask yourself these questions, um, and really listen to the answers, you'll find that, oh yeah, this thought really isn't valid. Just because I've tried things in the past doesn't mean that anything in the future isn't going to work for me to lose weight or get healthy. Just because exercise maybe was hard for me when I was in gym class in 5th grade doesn't mean that I can find— I can't find a form of exercise that's genuinely fun and motivating and enjoyable for me now. And when you start realizing these things, it gives you this sense of freedom because you're no longer stuck in an old identity of who you are. Who you are, you can then step into this new identity of who you can be and who who you really truly dream of yourself to be. And that's the amazing part about this journey of, you know, going through the coaching process and really not only working with a coach but learning how to coach yourself. And ultimately, that's what some of these exercises are based on. So just to summarize really quick, we have the 4 C's to help you stop that negative thinking and anxiety. And the first one is to catch those negative thoughts. Then it's to have curiosity as to why those thoughts are there in the first place. Then it's to have compassion as to what your answers are when you do get curious about those negative thoughts. And then lastly, it's to challenge those negative thoughts and reframe them into another light so you can expand your ability to grow into the person that you know you can be. So thank you guys so much for watching this video. I hope you really enjoyed the content, and if you did, make sure you like the video, subscribe to my channel. I'll be putting out some more videos coming up soon. So I hope you guys all have a fantastic day and be well.
