In a live Q&A, audience member Speaker A asks Miss Wanyam (Wani Iris Manly) to share three key takeaways from her book and talk. Miss Wanyam responds by first critiquing the conventional societal script that dictates a linear path—education, career, marriage, children, retirement—highlighting its failure and the widespread unhappiness it produces. She then outlines the eight principles she teaches for creating a fulfilling life, emphasizing four core ideas: (1) having a clear vision of the life you desire; (2) living intentionally rather than passively hoping for outcomes; (3) believing in yourself, as belief shapes reality; and (4) practicing deep self‑love, recognizing that the most important relationship is with oneself. She underscores that beliefs act as a mirror reflecting one’s experience, and that self‑love is essential to avoid survival mode and unhealthy dependence on others. The tone is conversational, motivational, and enthusiastic, aiming to empower listeners to reject the default script and actively design their own lives.
Chapters
So, Miss Wanyam, I was so impressed with your incredible book. You know, what are 3 takeaways, because I have so many takeaways, that you would like to share with people? I was just flabbergasted. I was not expecting it to be as wonderful as it was. Congratulations! Wait! You weren't expecting my talk to be fabulous? No, I did, but I just didn't know what to expect. I didn't have any expectations, and wow, you just threw the bar up so high. Well, thank you. So the main thing— I was inspired. Oh, I'm so glad you're so inspired. First of all, thanks for coming. Um, I was surprised I had to see you here. So I told you I would try to come. Um, I'm glad you came. And so the first thing I would just say is that, you know, we have been— we all got the memo of how to live our lives, which was go to school, get your grades, you know, work hard. This girl has a law degree. She's worked as a lawyer for many years. And, you know, um, And that, you know, you work for this company and it would take care of you, you could retire. And then between all that, you were supposed to, you know, get married to like the perfect hot woman, hot man, and have these perfect 2.5 kids, white picket fence, and retire, right? But the thing in reality is like nobody's living that, you know. Everyone's had like 75 jobs since they graduated. We almost have Social Security. Everyone's completely unhappy. And so the thing is like there's a different script. And so my talk here today was to invite people or to make them aware that you do have a choice. You can create and live the life that you really want. You don't have to follow this failed system that we've been all given. So— Subconscious things we're being taught. Exactly. And so what I talked about was I covered 8 main points that would really help you to create the life that you really want. Number 1, the first thing is you've got to have a clear vision because if you don't know where you're going, How can you get to wherever you're trying to go? Number one. Number two is that you've got to be intentional about your life. So many of us are just like existing, just kind of like we're on this like hope and pray strategy that, you know, we want everything's just gonna— it's kind of like, excuse me, trickle down. It doesn't quite work that way. You got to be intentional about your happiness, your success, your relationships, whatever you want. And I show people how to actually set intentions. Next thing is you got to believe in yourself, you know, because If you don't believe, you know, what we're living at is the result of everything you believe. And so if you believe that you can, you will. If you believe that you can't, you won't. You know, Henry Ford said it best: if you think you can or you can't, you're right. And so you got to believe in yourself. And so I talked about how it's like, you know, so much of the collective consciousness, it's all about negativity. You can't, it's hard, it's difficult. And it's like there's a different frequency that's saying it's easy, yes you can, like, how about I could try it out? So it's like Understanding, like, everything you have in your life, it's a result of what you believe. That's really what life is like. You are the storyteller. You are saying to life, I believe this, and life is giving you the evidence of it, right? And so it's like your life is a direct mirror reflection of what it is that you're believing. Next thing was just, you know, self-love. It's like you can't do this journey without self-love, otherwise you would be in survival mode, which is where I was at, right? And so we weren't— none of us, hardly only one woman in the room was talking. She heard self-love. I didn't hear it until 2009. And I would— but even then, no one told me how to do it because we're taught to look for love outside of ourselves. We're not taught to like actually love ourselves. And so I was demonstrating that the first thing you can do is number one, recognize that the most important relationship you will ever have is a relationship with yourself. It's got to be stellar, right? Even if you have kids, you can't even be a good example for your children If you don't even freaking love yourself, right? And then we're all out here looking to source our sense of love from other people. It doesn't work. It's called divorce. That's why you're not at all— that's why people really get a divorce. It's because of the fact that it's like you were trying to— you're requiring something from somebody else that you yourself have not given to yourself. It's really unfair. It really is unfair to say to a man, love me, when you for your whole life have been thinking you're a piece of crap. And then people wonder why they wake up. Do you have to go? Yeah. Okay.
