Stepping Into the Greatest Version of You and Beyond

You must be willing to let go of the life that you had planned in order to accept and to receive the life that is waiting for you. I'm going to say this again for the people in the back. You've been here. You must be willing to let go of the life that you have planned in order to receive and to accept the life that is waiting for you. Tattoos. If I had a tattoo on my body, it would literally be that quote, and I would put it someplace where I could see it every single day, because that quote for me exemplifies being the greatest version of yourself. And you see, every single day we have an inner microphone that is calling for us to be our greatest versions of ourselves, but most of the time we ignore it until it becomes like an 18 by 2-ton truck knocks us over the head, and then we get the message. For me, that came on December 10th— I'm sorry, New Year's Eve of December 2010. I woke up that morning all set to go out and party in Miami, where I was living at the time, to go and celebrate with my friends, right? And I woke up that morning, it's about 6 o'clock in the morning, and at the time my life was hell. My business was in shambles. I had just came out of a lifelong relationship that had broken my heart. My law firm at the time was like going up and down like this. The crisis had just started in the United States with the whole housing bubble. And I was starting to feel the pinch like everybody else. And instead of going out to party that night with my friends in Miami, I decided to stay at home and do a process that I teach everyone. And that was to actually look at the life circumstances at that time for me. So I began the day looking at all the things I had accomplished that year, and it was very, very little. And then I began to look at— and I wrote all of it down. And then I wrote out every single thing that I had failed at that year. And I had a much, much longer list. And then I went between— I went to look at every single one of them to see what was really going on with me at that time. And to be quite honest with you, I was in love. I really wasn't focused on business at the time. And I was also too— I had just started running a law firm. I was working for a big firm. And so I knew how to be a lawyer, but I didn't quite know how to run a business. And I was starting off with both, you know. And so then I went to look at my mindset because I had become really aware that what we are experiencing in our outer lives, whatever we're doing, is of our creation by the words that we, that we, that we, we say, by the thoughts that we have, by the feelings that we, that we feel, and by our emotions. And I began to write down all of the things that I believe about myself, and they're all my limited beliefs. I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I don't have enough experience, I'm not, you know, I was too young at the time, blah blah blah. And I basically got on my hands and knees and I began to just ask the Lord to help me let go of some of these beliefs because I knew what was happening in my life was what was written on a piece of paper. And then I went through a process of self-forgiveness. You know, as women, we're very, very hard on ourselves, right? And so I began to just to forgive myself, letting myself know that, you know what, I'm on a journey of learning. And that, you know, it's all a learning process. And so then I began to look ahead to the next, um, the next part of the day, and I bought myself a journal, and it had the word "imagine" on it. And I opened up that journal, and I basically wrote out every single thing that I wanted to be, do, and to have in 2011 and beyond. I began to, for the first time— you know, you hear the phrase "think big," right, or "think bigger," you know, but for me at that time It had always been like some theoretical thing that was kind of out there. But for some reason, something took over me that day, and I began to write out the impossible. And I began to write the way one of my role models, Elon Musk, must think like on a daily basis, right? You know, Mr. Tesla. Yeah. So I began to write out everything I wanted to be, do, and have. And I was writing like just the— I was writing the impossible, and I didn't care. There was no thought about money and resources and experience and blah blah blah. I was like, you know, I want this and I want to have it. And I spent a lot of time visualizing myself and literally going through every single one of that and actually embodying myself and seeing myself as that person at that time. And then I began to do some mantras, some affirmations, blah blah blah. And at this time it was about almost midnight when the New Year's Eve came, or the New Year came. I took a glass of champagne that I was going to take to the party with me Took one sip and I passed out from exhaustion. Okay? 3 days later in Miami, I began to have this phenomenon where my entire world in Miami, which is Latin American, it's called like North Cuba, began to be invaded with all the signs pointing to France, to Paris, to French culture. It was really strange because I had zero connection to France. My parents are from Liberia, which was never one of— it's not a Francophone African country. I had been to France or Paris like 20 years earlier than that. I wasn't all crazy about like every American. I was like, what the hell is going on? And so at the beginning, it was like between like 5 or 6 or 7 signs. It was like every day, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris. So I was like, okay, there's something that's going on here that's calling me to this, you know, to this culture, to this country. Let's go and check it out. I flew to Paris, booked a hotel by the Eiffel Tower. And I was in Paris for 4 days, like, waiting for a message, and I got nothing except a blistering cold because it was so freaking cold in Paris. And I came to— it's like I was in Miami because we don't have winters in Miami, right? So I then went to the French Riviera, and I went to every single city except Saint-Tropez. When I was in Monaco, something finally clicked. I turned a corner and I heard a message that your life is in transition from a lawyer to a writer, to a speaker, to someone who's here to impact the world. And I was like, what? Okay. So I went back to Miami, thank you so much for that. And I went about my way practicing vlog about my life. And every day I thought the signs were going to be over, but they actually increased. It was going from 5% to 10 to 20. It was crazy style Paris, Paris. And I wasn't really crazy about French culture. Except for the champagne. And so one day I was working, doing law that I hated because I like doing contracts and I was on litigation work at the time. And I just heard my heart say, "Move." And I did this and I heard, "Move to Paris." I thought about it for maybe like less than 20 seconds. I just said yes. Next thing I knew, I sold my house at a loss because it was the housing crisis. I didn't really care. At the time, I just wanted to be free. I sold my car and I gave away everything I owned to 3 different charities, except things that I had to keep by law, which were my clients' files and my spiritual books. And I came to Paris. I didn't know a single person in Paris or in France. I didn't know one word of French, including how to say bonjour. Nothing. I didn't have a plan A, a plan B, or a plan C, and I didn't have a lot of money either. But what I did have was a calling, which I couldn't see at the time, but I now know it was a calling for me to become the greatest version of myself. Right before I left Miami, I saw my spiritual teacher from England, and he said to me, "You're going to Paris on a karmic cleansing mission." In other words, you're going to face all your fears. I said, "Okay." Then my hopeless romantic friends in Miami began to— they were like, "Oh my God! You're gonna meet the love of your life!" And they started planning my wedding and my baby shower already. The last person that I saw before I took the plane was my hairdresser. And she said to me, "Wani, you are going to Paris to meet someone, but it's not who you think it is. You're actually going to Paris to meet the one." 'But it's you. It's the one that you've always been looking for. It's your soul. You're about to step into the woman you're actually meant to become.' And those words from her never left when I went to Paris. When I got there— it's crazy when I look at it now— and so when I went to Paris, I was just an attorney, you know, and I stand before here now I'm a woman who's living my passion. I'm a woman who's living her purpose. I became a 2-time bestselling author and I'm on my way to becoming a 3rd bestselling author. Thank you. And now I travel the world and I speak and I help women become the greatest version of themselves. I share this story with you and it's not because I like to talk about myself. Quite honestly, I've told this story so many times and I am a little bit tired of it, but I often remind myself that, you know what, each author, each woman, audience I speak before don't know who I am, and so they need to hear this story. But I share this with you because had it not been for my making that bold move to Paris, I literally would not be up here before you today. So it is quite the honor to come before you and actually speak before you today and to show you that, or to tell you that, in order for you to actually step into your greatest self for 2020 and beyond, it It takes a hell of a lot. I'll tell you, when I first got to Paris, I didn't know how to speak one word of French, right? The very first time I went to wash my clothes, 'cause the washer was out in the apartment, I couldn't figure out how to read. I didn't know anything. I literally cried. Because I was like, oh my God, you're a lawyer. What do you mean you can't read French? I mean, I didn't know where to put the thing. And I went through so much, of feeling uncomfortable, being out of my comfort zone. And it took my brain 3 years for it to finally stop thinking in Spanish, because I come from Miami, and where I come from, Spanish is pretty much useless, and to begin to start to think in the language. And so I want to share with you that, you know, it took a lot of mindset work for me to actually switch that, to become who I am here right now. But the reason why I want to tell you is like, I think there's 5 different things you need to keep in mind if you really want to step into this version of yourself. The first thing is this: you have to make a fundamental change to who you are. I'm talking more than motivational, rah rah rah, thinking positive. I'm talking about thinking your fundamental beliefs, okay? For example, I come from a parent household where they don't know anything about having your own business. My father was former minister of Liberia, former deputy minister of finance for Liberia. My mom was a registered entrepreneurs, they've all been working at jobs. They don't know about entrepreneurship. They still tell me, "Don't you have a job?" Like, this is crazy. "What are you doing in Paris?" You know? And so I've had to make a fundamental change to be a different version of myself. And so many of us, we all want things to change, but we don't want to change ourselves. And I'm telling you right now, without you changing who you are, it will never work. What do I mean by changing at a fundamental level? I'm talking about your belief structure. Believing that you are something and so much more than what you actually are will take you to a different version of yourself. You have to believe in yourself. You have to stop looking for outside validation, even the validation from your parents, and seek within your own self. That's the fundamental change you actually have to make. And you have to believe in yourself because you know what? Nobody on this earth will ever believe in you until you begin to see value in yourself and to see yourself that you can actually do whatever you want. The second commandment is that you have to get out of your comfort zone. Living in Paris and being in France, I've been so uncomfortable. I've had to be in a space of not being able to speak the language and to be living what I call like the twilight zone because it's so different from where I'm actually coming from. In the United States. And so you have to be uncomfortable. You have to get out of your comfort zone. You know what? Your mind is not designed to keep you out of your comfort zone because we all like to be comfortable. Let me tell you something. Nothing has happened in your comfort zone. Absolutely nothing. The person you are right now, the woman or the man that you are right now, who you've been in the past has gotten you to this point. To get to the next level, it takes a different set of mindset. It takes a different set of circumstance. Now you may not have to leave a different country like I had to, but I'm telling you that you have to be uncomfortable. And how do you be uncomfortable? By facing your fears every single day. Every single day you must ask yourself when you go to bed at night, have I stretched myself? Have I done something that has made me not feel so comfortable? Have I done something different with myself? Because if you're answering no to these questions, you're not out of your comfort zone. You're You gotta stay where you're at. The next thing to actually, uh, 7th Stripping Scorpion, you have to take a risk. You must, must, must take a risk. For some reason, we're all afraid of being— of taking a risk. And it goes back to being in our comfort zones, right? But I'm telling you right now, everything that you want is outside of fear. Everything that you want is outside of your comfort zone. And everything that you want is something that's in the unknown. And so for you to actually ask for greater for yourself, greater for your families, greater for your business, greater for your career, you have to take a risk. For some people, you might be in this room, you work in corporate America, and you're contemplating becoming an entrepreneur, and you're scared. I totally get it. I, I totally get it. But guess what though? Nothing great in this life that you want is not without taking some type of risk. The next thing you have to actually look at in order to become the greatest version of yourself He said you must be committed to change, and you must be committed more to your desires than you are to your fears. Because guess what? Our brain is just designed to keep us safe, right? And so anything that it sees that's different, that's not the normal, it wants to keep us inside of a box. And so you have to remember, be more committed you are to changing, to having a different lifestyle, to become a different person than you are to your fears. And that will actually scare them away. Over. The next and final most important thing I want to leave you with is that you must embody who you want to be in the future right now, otherwise you'll stay the same. One of the key ways that I don't— you know, I thought I never knew this in the very beginning because I was on in personal development. I'm actually a coach as well too, and I was always like looking to change my life by looking at what happened to me in the past, and I'm like, no, this is not it, right? And what I really began to do was I began to visualize myself on the stage every single day. I began to visualize myself being in the airport and seeing someone holding up my name to speak, you know, to pick me up. I began to see myself flying first class. I mean, I, I, that's what I do, you know? And so, but every day I had to ask myself, who do I want to be? Who you want to be is much more important than what you, what you have. And the more you begin to embody, the more you begin to connect. How do I say connect with this person, this other version of yourself? Is you have to ask yourself, who is she being at this moment? What is she thinking? What decisions is she actually making? Like, how is she being in the world? And you have to start acting like that now. You have to start seeing yourself in this version of yourself right now in order for us— for her to actually come forward. Unless if you don't do that, you will always be where you are right now. And the last thing I want you to remember is this. One of my other favorite quotes is— we've all heard this before, and I have a different spin on it— which is, "The sky's the limit." That in itself is a limitation. What I always like to say is, "The sky is not the limit, but the viewpoint." Thank you.