Natalie Moore, a marriage and family therapist in Pasadena, shares a story about a networking visit where a doctor made sexually inappropriate comments. She talks about trusting your gut, setting boundaries, and walking away from relationships that don't respect you.
Hey guys, it's Natalie Moore, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, here. I'm experimenting with recording and posting straight to YouTube without actually pre-recording and editing, so bear with me. I was trying to use my laptop, and I actually used my laptop and recorded an entire like 10-minute video, or however long it was, about something that just happened to me, and unfortunately my disk is so full on my laptop. I need to go in and seriously reorganize some things and delete stuff. But the video did not save on Photobooth. So I still felt really passionate about sharing this message, and so I was like, how do I do this? What, what other options do I have? And I decided I'm just gonna hit that red button on YouTube and see what happens. So here I am. So something really strange just happened to me. So for those of you who don't know, my name is Natalie Moore. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. I practice in Pasadena. And one thing that I do pretty often is I'll reach out to different professionals in the area to collaborate, connect, network, see if we have mutual referrals that we can do to benefit each other's practices. And sometimes I actually just go on YouTube— um, not YouTube, on Google— and we'll just Google, you know, doctors in Pasadena and see who pops up and call up their offices and say, "Hey, my name is Natalie Moore. I'd love to come in and introduce myself, meet the doctor, yada yada yada." So I did that a couple days ago and they said, "Sure, we'd love to have you in. Come in on Thursday, bring lunch." So I did the whole bit and unfortunately I had a weird experience with the doctor. So I went in and this person kind of started chatting and I could tell they were a real character and I was fine with that at first. But after a few minutes, I started to realize that this person was making a lot of like sexual jokes. And I thought, wow, this person really doesn't have a filter. They're really candid. And then, so that was kind of the first red flag. And then the second one was I made a comment about how millennials are not lazy. We just really only want to do work that we really love. And he said that that would make him a man-whore. And at first I didn't get the joke. So I kind of looked a little bit confused. And then the third strike happened where he started talking about his wife and said something about her being an exhibitionist or her, her breasts hanging out or something. And my inner voice, my intuition started screaming at me in that moment. It was like, what are you doing here? Get out of here as quickly as you possibly can and don't have anything to do with this person at all. So normally, I was thinking and saying in my previous video that a few years ago, I don't think I would have listened to that intuition. I think I would have been intimidated by this doctor and felt like, well, you know, I made this appointment, I was the one who wanted to come in and talk to him, I should stay and be polite and just, you know, smile, laugh awkwardly, and nod my head and just, you know, get through it. But my intuition was like, no, this is not the right place for you. Why are you here? You don't need this person's referrals. This is not a good fit anyway. Get out. So I excused myself, I left, and in the car I was like, what in the world just happened? Did that really just happen? It was so surreal. And I drove to my office a few minutes away and felt like I needed to wash myself off energetically from what happened. I felt like kind of like sticky and kind of dirty and weird from what had happened. So I look outside my window— I— the window of my car— I see that it's a beautiful sunny day on a tree-lined street in Pasadena, and I was like, let's just go take a walk. You know that you always feel better after you walk. So as I'm walking down the streets of Pasadena, I'm telling myself, okay, I want some piece of wisdom from this. I don't want to just chalk it up as a weird experience or a bad day. I really want to learn something from this. So I kind of asked the universe, I said, I need some wisdom right now, let's find some wisdom. So along my walk that I do in the area where my office is, there's one of these tiny little free mini libraries. And I walked up to it and I was like, okay, I want to grab a book and just open to, you know, some random pages and see what pops out at me. So I picked up this little book and it was actually like Bible passages, which I'm not Christian and not really a huge fan of the Bible, but I figured, okay, maybe there's some wisdom in there for me. First couple of pages that I, that I kind of flipped to didn't resonate. Something about children of God, something, I don't know, that just didn't really fit. And then I flipped another page and I saw and it said, more important than popularity is respect. Respect. And it said something about integrity, and I was like, yes, this is the exact message that I need to hear right now. Like I said, a few years ago, I probably would have sat through that meeting, and I probably would have been more, um, invested in the popularity, like wanting someone to like me, or, you know, wanting this doctor to know who I am or refer to me. Now I realize it's so much more important to have self-respect, to respect my own physical, spiritual, emotional boundaries, and to command respect from others as opposed to being popular. And if other people aren't going to respect me, I'm not going to engage in a relationship with that person. So the big message that I got today was I can actually start listening to that voice a little sooner when it's whispering. I don't have to wait until it's like Woo! Red flags all over the place screaming at me. And I know that my intuition is always right. I can trust my intuition, and I can always command respect. And if I don't get respect, I can end that relationship, end that meeting, say no, say goodbye, and stand up for myself. So I hope that you learned something from my experience today. I hope that it wasn't in vain. And if you've ever had an experience like this, or if you feel like this sometimes, please leave a comment below. And I always tell people, if you live in the LA area and if you think that I might be a good fit for working with you, helping you with whatever it is that you're struggling with, I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to anybody who wants it. So I will leave my number on the screen. And if you're looking for a therapist, I hope to hear from you soon. And if not, take good care, take really good care. Respect yourself, respect others, command respect from others, and listen to your intuition. It's always right. Have a good one. Bye.
5 Things You Need to Cultivate Total Wellness with Natalie Moore | Authority Magazine
