105: Why High Performers are Hard to Lead (and How Great Leaders Handle It)

Welcome back everyone to another episode of the Reality-Based Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Alex Dorr, CEO of Reality-Based Leadership, and really excited you're here because on this podcast, you already know if you've been a listener for a while that we are focused on the best ways to help you lead beyond drama at work and call your teams to greatness. How can you, with challenges that come up, how do you support your teams and love them up? And then at the appropriate time with some good discernment, call them up to greatness. And that's what this, this podcast is about. And if you're new here, the average person is spending about 2.5 hours per day in drama. And a big role for us is to find where those interferences come up and how can we call them out as they are and not judge there. Say, this is the human condition. I have the human condition as well. I think we're stuck and let's get into a different way of thinking through this challenge. Turn towards each other so we can grow beyond it. And that's really what we do on the Reality Based Leadership podcast. So at times I'm bringing in questions that came out from my speaking engagements as I do keynotes and trainings in companies like yours across the country. Um, they might come in from our fans, other podcast listeners, or from our social media content. So wherever these come from, I'm always thinking, what are the common questions I'm getting? What are some nuances beyond our training content that we give to leaders that can, we can go deeper with? And that's what this episode's really about. And this episode of all places came from, well, well, 2 things came up. So I started to post a few videos on my TikTok account. And if you're on TikTok and you need another, you know, you know, video feed coming your way, um, follower, we'd love to have you follow and try and tune into those videos. But I was putting out some videos and a couple of them jumped into 300,000, 700,000 views and just really caught on with new audiences. And a lot of it was around high performers and how to coach for high performance. And as I was looking at other videos that were doing well, this one came up and it was a really interesting topic. That is the topic for today's podcast. And it was on why are high performers difficult to lead? I went through all of our lists of podcasts over the years that we've done at Reality-Based Leadership. And I, I don't think this is a topic we've ever hit on that from this lens, we've looked at why high accountability is important because it leads to oftentimes higher performance. We've tried to clarify what high performance really looks like when you add in the cost of drama. We've looked at some of the difference between high performance and what we mean by high accountability, but never taken it to the level of why can high performers be hard to manage? And for all of us listening here, or, you know, trying to bring reality-based leadership more consistently into our workplace, we, we maybe have high performers on our teams already. We want to continue that. In what they do, especially as our businesses change and we respond to the market and the needs of those that we serve. And so looking at this is kind of interesting for me. So as I listened to the video, it was just a 1-minute video, but it really took off from the person that posted it. They said some really cool things like high performers know what good looks like. And so they don't really tolerate a lot of lazy leadership. They, they call it out. They give feedback. Um, they're not really sitting back and allowing that lazy leadership. And one of the things that really stuck with me that they said is high performers aren't hard to manage. They're hard to fool. And man, that hit me given what I've done over the years. Um, you know, speaking on high performance and ditching the drama and reality-based leadership, it brought me back to a core part of our philosophy, which is the same workplace and the same leadership cannot please a high accountable And a low accountable at the same time. You'll always be making one of those mindsets, those groups uncomfortable. It's our job as leaders to make the right group uncomfortable. Meaning, if you have a workplace and you're trying to cater towards those that are in low accountability, more of a victim mindset, probably pretty low performance, that version of fun or that version of Isn't this workplace awesome? Is not going to fool high accountables maybe at all or for very long. When that starts to happen and we are working at the wrong end of that spectrum, or we are trying to over-cater towards the low accountables, we tend to tick off our high accountables and they don't disengage. They don't start going through the motions. They get indigestion and they often look for other places that reward high accountable visionary work with other high performers. That's low drama. Oftentimes our competition or other, you know, with the virtual workplace, lots of other opportunities. And so this got me thinking about why are high performers difficult to manage and how would you bring that with the reality-based leadership lens? So I just wanted to, to go through a few notes with you just to get us all thinking. I'd love to hear your, your feedback. So going back to the same workplace camp, please, a high accountable. Now notice I said high accountable. This often gets confused in our work. And this might be a separate podcast to go into, that high accountability is not the same, and that high accountability mindset's not the same as high performer. Not always. While it's a great indicator, those in the research that have a high state of accountability, they have an internal locus of control, we call it in psychology. They basically believe that they can have impact in a situation that'd be closely correlated to our research on high accountability. They tend to make impactful choices, even in challenging circumstances and get better results. We see this in the workplace, in career satisfaction. We see this in academics and we see this in athletics. So it is a really good indicator of that high accountable mindset and the choices made out of that mindset often lead to great results. Often I say not always. And then obviously on the other end, low accountability. More of that external locus of control. I think things are up to luck. It's just good things happen to some people. I don't really have an impact on my circumstances. That tends to lead to poor results because I don't think what I do matters that much anyway. So of those 2 mindsets on your team, you're probably going to want more high accountability. But what I've often seen in doing reality-based leadership work and supporting clients and really doing some of our deeper research on accountability Is that sometimes people are super high performers, but when the going gets tough, they step right out of accountability. Maybe it's a stress response. Maybe it's, they've got a lot of easy performance or they've had longstanding clients, or they've been top sales for a while because of a few key clients, but then they don't actually have that much accountability and buy into our systems. They don't commit to changes that need to be implemented in our organization. So they're super low accountable. But they're still getting good performance. And a lot of times that can happen because leaders have enabled them for a long time. So I just wanted to clarify and get you thinking that we don't use the word high performer and high accountability in our work. Words, words really matter for us. And those are, those aren't the same. While they often lead to each other, it's not always the case. And so that's a part that when a lot of that content I see out there, that's just on high performers, we have to watch for that, that subtle drama aspect to a high performer. Because you see often where high performers often get enabled to be a little bit higher drama, but this causes a domino effect in modern organizations, which gets into my, my next points. So one of the most challenging things to see out of a high performer when you're a leader is when they've gotten righteous and they start to judge the judgers. This is the ultimate form of drama. When your high performers start to get where they are the ones that do everything around there, they think that this place would fall down if it wasn't for them. And so then they start to judge those that aren't stepping up, that aren't coming along. Instead of helping, they get into judgment and they get righteous and they start to judge the judgers. And now you have a whole big form of drama because your best people are now causing the most drama. And so when it's why high performers are hard to manage, I actually would say I agree with that because sometimes the first thing that happens, especially if you bring some reality-based leadership tools and techniques to high performers that are already doing well, especially if it's a leadership training, I often see where they're like, oh, now this is how I already am. I get this. Now let me go judge others that aren't in the class and don't get this. So instead of lending a hand and saying, hey, let's try a tool like the SBAR or thinking inside the box for this problem and let's work it together and I'll show you how and I'll maybe even teach you side by side. I just judge that you don't know about thinking inside the box and you don't know a lot of your stresses from your stories. And so I get to be judging the judgers, judging those that are low performers, and this creates a mess. So as a leader, if you're seeing that, and it's common where we can get as high performers righteous and start to judge the judgers, especially when we're tired or we've really felt like we're pulling more of our weight than others. And it doesn't mean that's not happening. It's just, we're feeling that way. Then we can start to do that. So that can be where it's really tough because how do you have that conversation? That, that's happening with a high performer, especially when you have the other reality that those lower performers at the moment aren't pulling their weight. And so that's a little bit more about our leadership and how are we enabling that? Where are we calling them up to say, given you're noticing that someone on the team's not pulling their part of the project, how can you ask for what you need? Let's get you more skillful in that unpreferred reality. And then as a leader, I might need to reset expectations. For that low performer that's not delivering on what we need. A little bit of performance management. So it doesn't let you off the hook, but it is a couple of levers to pull on that. So that's a distinction I would make is watching for your best people getting righteous and judging the judgers. Now, the other thing I would, I would talk about that's happening, and it's been a shift we've been seeing for a while in the research we've done on performance or performance reviews and how we typically measure the value people add in the workplace. But performance is really becoming in a weird way, pass/fail in a lot of our jobs. Not all of them, but a lot of them, especially as AI and this transformation's happening with so many systems and, you know, robotics and things like that, is that performance isn't, you know, just because I'm doing the job, that's like high performance. That would be like in the middle, like I'm doing what's required and what was contracted in my salary and I'm hitting my goals. That would be more like a 3 out of 5. 4 out of 5 is above and beyond. 5 out of 5 is best in the world at what you do. And then in a lot of places, as we're automating and finding these breakthroughs with AI support agents, agentic AI enhancements, a lot of performance at some jobs is becoming pass/fail. It's, you know, I could buy or rent or license almost many technical functions off the internet. There's other places to find that performance. As the world's shifting. And so high performers, they're one evolution or they're one technological breakthrough away from being not really a high performer anymore. There's one breakthrough, one software, one new tool, one new license that does a lot of the work you do in a more efficient way that all of a sudden what you've relied on as high performance no longer is. So then that high performer that maybe was able to be a little bit more higher drama, all of a sudden some of their key skills are getting replaced or updated, or we're bringing in new talent that's able to do that in a new way with our systems and integrates it well. Well, now they're not really a high performer. They're kind of an average performer that might not be ready for what's next and then be pretty high drama. So now when you look at the total value they're adding, they're not really a high performer. It would be fuzzy math. And so this idea of, of why high performers can be hard to lead, totally see that they for sure don't handle low accountability well. They want to keep standards of excellence. That's one thing I wanted to add is that there's some differences as we talk about accountability, high accountable and low accountables. High accountables we've seen in our research, they get nervous when change isn't happening. Low accountables in their mindset get nervous when change is happening. Why is that? Someone in a lower state of accountability, and I want to clean that up. I wouldn't ever label someone as a permanent low accountable. That's just, I don't even know if that's possible, but that's really rare. People have their tendencies, but, um, and they're, they're some of their defaults, but it's a sense of being, it's a, um, it's a mindset. So those that tend to be in a low state of accountability, when change is happening, they get nervous because they're falling behind. They might lack readiness for what's next. So they only have one option, that's to resist change. And so they start to slow it down, not buy in and not try and talk about how we can integrate this and make it least disruptive to our patients, our customers, our clients. Those in a high state of accountability, they get nervous when change isn't happening because they know the needs of their customers and their patients and their clients are changing. They know the market's changing. They know that there's changes in supply chain and dynamics and competitors are making changes. So if we're not adjusting to that and we're getting stagnant, it starts to give high accountables anxiety. And so that's why, as you're looking at why can they be hard to lead, let's say our high accountables that are high performers. It's because they really want to make sure you're in tune with the market. You're staying active. You're listening and responding to the needs of those we serve. And that can take consistent effort and work. Whereas the other side, you can get a little stagnant, but your high performers, hopefully high accountables, aren't going to tolerate that. Now, another thing we see is that high accountables, they really want you to hold the standard, hold your non-negotiables. And then up the support when we're not getting there. Those in a lower state of accountability, sometimes and often low performers, they want you to lower the standard given the circumstances. You'll often hear things like, oh, you know, we did pretty good on that project or with that client, given the circumstances, given these 3 or 4 things came up. Where high accountables want to work with you and high performers want an environment where you say, Given that was what we promised, we promised excellence. We promised a great deliverable on this. And given there's always a few circumstances that come up, how can we make our team immune to those extenuating circumstances to be able to respond with resilience and deliver anyway? And so high performers, they want this environment, not this one. So as a leader, as you're reflecting on this podcast, I want you to ask yourself, which group am I feeding? Which environment am I cultivating? Because the same workplace can't please both. And then the last thing is, do I have some high performers that are trickling into that place of getting righteous and judging the judgers? Maybe it's a quick conversation or a share of this podcast to say, we love what you're doing. You're one of our best performers. People really follow your influence and what you say. And so where can we have a little bit better energy on some of these recent projects? Where we come in and lending that open hand, that invitation, and teaching and mentoring instead of getting judgy that we're ahead of that group and they're falling behind. And so building that bridge is key with our high performers so they don't spiral into drama. So those are some initial thoughts. Again, I love that that TikTok got me thinking about how reality-based leadership might put a lens into that. If you're loving this podcast, please subscribe, rate it, 5-star reviews. You don't even realize They help so much and give a little bit of your perspective to help people find it and continue to discover what we do at Reality-Based Leadership. I truly believe that work can be effortless and teams can be drama-free. And so I appreciate you coming here and trying to find new tools and techniques to do that with your team. Thank you for all you do. Let's keep loving people up, but we got to call people up to greatness and you got what you need to do that. I'll see you in the next episode.