#8: The Positive Edge with Tina Hallis

Hi, I'm Sy Wakeman, and you're listening to No Ego, a podcast where we teach you how to ditch the drama, end entitlement, and drive big results in your workplace and your world place. In today's episode of the No Ego Podcast, I am absolutely thrilled to be welcoming Tina Hallis. She has founded her company, The Positive Edge. She's also written a brand new book out called Sharpen Your Positive Edge. But what I am really excited about is when I find like-minded people who are out in the workplace working with others to help them have more positive days, to help them ditch the drama. I Love having them, um, join me on this show. So welcome, Tina. I'm so glad that you're here, and I'm glad that we met.

Oh, thank you, Sy. Me too. It's such a privilege to be here with you.

You know, we both really work on helping people understand how their mind works and helping them understand things like they don't have to believe everything they think, and that much of our stress comes from our stories that we make up about our reality, not our reality. I know that when we met, we just We hit it off. And, but I want my readers to know a little bit first about your background. You didn't just jump into this field thinking you're going to help people in the workplace. Neither did I. It was kind of accidental. But what is your background? I think people will be interested.

Oh, it is interesting how the directions life takes you. Yeah, I started off with a PhD in chemistry, I spent about 20 years in the biotechnology field as a scientist, you know, in the lab running experiments. And then in 2011, I discovered positive psychology. It was Shawn Achor's book, The Happiness Advantage. As I started reading it, I'm just overwhelmed with the excitement of, wow, here is a science that helps people live their best life. And oh my gosh, do I need this? The people that I work with need this. I mean, workplaces in general need to learn this stuff.

Absolutely. And what I love for people to understand is that this is science. A lot of people may think about positive psychology as like a vision board or, you know, manifesting something out there, something that's like woo-woo. And what I love to tell people about this is real science. In our company, we try and take the best of brain science and research of others, our research, and really translate that into the workplace. And so for me, for you to go from being a scientist in the lab to really buying into and now disseminating the science of happiness really is fabulous. I think that— We need to make sure people understand this is evidence-based. It's science. So love your story. And you've just taken all you've been teaching and put it into book form called Sharpen Your Positive Edge. And so tell me about the book.

Wow. What an interesting journey. Great fun. Great learning experience. But when I first started speaking and training on this, I really wanted to have some way to help people remember the message, to apply it, 'cause we're so busy, there's so many distractions. So I started writing short weekly positivity tips and just letting people know, you know, if this might be helpful for you, please sign up. You know, I'll keep them short. So it's only gonna take you a couple of minutes. And then through the years, as I've accumulated these, I kept thinking of how can I reach more people than just on my mailing list? So I really spent time going through, picking some of the most popular, some of my favorites, categorizing them, and then creating this huge table of contents of 80 different tips, descriptive titles so people can look through by category and say, oh gosh, right now today I could really use some help with my relationships. Let's see what's in the book. And then picking one, going to that short tip, you know, it's a one-page read. And saying, oh, this is something I can use today. Here's how it can help me. And then there's a spot to write about your thoughts, your reactions, your actions you can take using that insight.

I absolutely, I love it. I know that your book's available both in the ebook and in a paperback, and right now is out there on Amazon. And I know a lot of my listeners love ebooks. This is one book I might encourage the readers to get in paperback because it has those places to put your ahas and really take notes. And besides the content, what I love about the book is that it is set up not to be read from front to back, which I'm sure that would work, but really to directly apply to what you're needing that day. It's so great. And you know, so many of the people I work with love my philosophy and want others to be happier at work and ask me, like, how do I introduce this to someone who's even a bit of a newbie at, you know, stopping the way they believe they're thinking, or just noticing they get into ego, or finding a way to reframe? And this is such a great guide, not just for those of us that have been doing this a while— it's a great reminder— but for those new beginners, isn't it?

Oh, I think so. It was interesting. I had a new reader check it out and they said, well, the tips don't flow. There's no order to them. I'm like, exactly! They're not supposed to. You know, the key again is coming back to that table of contents like you said, and then it's everyday plain stuff that happens. I share some personal stories intertwined with some research, but it's really just the daily Rich material that life gives us that we can practice these tips on. It's not complicated. It's really stuff our parents and grandparents have been trying to teach us, and now there's science behind it that says, yes, it is helpful to be thankful, to say thank you, to show appreciation, to slow down and reflect. And I love now that the research is catching up and showing us Yes, these things are worth the time and the investment of learning and practicing.

I love that. It's when a universal principle that's been passed down for thousands and thousands of years, you know, we are finally catching up with the science to say this is true. So the book is set up well, and I wanna get into, I'm so excited about some of the content. With your scientific background and then your study in positive psychology, can you share with listeners How some of this just really isn't our fault. And when I am thinking, you know, anxious and negative and sometimes crazy thoughts, can you share some of the science behind that, that I think our listeners will be glad to hear? It's just part of our natural human condition.

Oh, that's such a good point. And for me myself, this was such a huge learning and so helpful. I always get excited when I get the opportunity to share this insight because it's the psychology, but also the neuroscience and just understanding our brain and how it works. And what I love to help people understand is that we are naturally wired to automatically think about, to dwell on, to remember all the bad stuff, the stuff we don't like, the stuff that's not fair, the problems, the danger. But this is part of our survival instinct. If we were not wired that way, we wouldn't even be here today as a species. So knowing, hey, if that driver is swerving, you better be cautious and anxious thinking of how you're gonna stay safe. If the smoke alarm is going off, You better be, you know, high energy, anxious to get out of the building. This is all important. It's just that today we need a better balance. We spend too much time letting that negative survival instinct run our thoughts and create our reality that we miss out on the good stuff. Because when things are good, our brains, that survival instinct says, boring. You don't need to notice the good stuff. You don't need to remember it. You don't need to focus on it. You're fine. There's no action needed to be taken. So to me, it's like, give yourself permission to say, oh, look at that. Here I am having this very strong, frustrated reaction, angry, sad, whatever it is, and say, that is normal. That is, you know, part of how I'm wired, but I'm not going to stay there. I'm going to notice it and choose something more productive, something that will serve me, because we can. choose our thoughts. It takes practice, it takes effort, but just that knowledge to me is so powerful.

Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of people will say to me, Cy, I need to be empowered, or my leader needs to empower me. And I get so excited because I first tell them, step into the power you already have. And probably one of our greatest powers is this ability— if we can understand the science and understand how our brain and body works, We don't have to be predestined to it. If we understand it, then we can just normalize it. We can neutralize it and then make a different choice that better fits not only our world today, because we're not being chased by saber-toothed tigers every day, but we can create beyond our physical limitations. Because I think our brain was wired to be way too present in this physical reality. And there's also a lot of quantum physics science that says what we imagine can manifest and become concrete in this world. And so if we're too focused on what's concrete in this world with all that reactionary, we don't spend a lot of time not only being positive in this world, but manifesting what could be some really amazing innovations. So I love that. We, we talk about balance in our life, work-life balance being a verb. And now this is kind of like brain balance being a verb to offset our very natural but welcome ability to focus on danger so that we keep ourselves and our kids safe.

Yeah, and just something to add onto that, this connection, I think, really helps people understand that whole manifestation piece is that the whole placebo effect, the sugar pill effect, the idea that if you think this pill is gonna help you, You will actually turn on, trigger signaling pathways in your body that will make you healthier. You know, this has been a major problem in clinical trials for drug, you know, approval, but it also applies to our beliefs about our day, our world, and ourselves, because it actually activates those signaling pathways in our body, and our body then responds as if it were true. So if you believe the world is a terrible place, you know, your physiology is going to reflect that.

Absolutely. And if you don't believe that, listeners, just close your eyes and think about biting into a lemon. And even though there's no lemon, you're not biting into it, I bet the sides of your jaw just clenched. So our physicalness follows our thinking. And with all of our chronic disease right now, and, you know, the attention we're paying to cortisol levels and all of those things, I mean, there's some real Consequences. I always say drama isn't free. You will always pay someplace. And unfortunately, a lot of us are paying physically for the drama that we create through our own stories, not necessarily our reality. So you have over 80, I think 80 strategies in this book. If you had to pick a favorite or 2 to share with our listeners, what would that be? And I know this is like picking favorite children. It's a hard question, but what are some of the, the What are the ones that listeners and readers find most helpful?

Okay, I have 2 that I love to share because they're super fast, super easy. They don't require any app, any membership, any special equipment, and there's no side effects, right? I love this. So one is when you're feeling anxious, when you're feeling stressed, is to take just 3 to 5 slow, deep breaths. It lowers our blood pressure. Lowers our heart rate, helps that cortisol dissipate so we can think more clearly, be more objective. And sometimes you have to do this, you know, maybe multiple times in a half hour. It's one of those things that has an immediate response, but if you're fighting an uphill battle, you might have to do it a few times. This is something I still use every day, all the time. I feel like, oh, I'm running late, or this is stressing me out. Okay, pause. Pause. 3 to 5 slow, deep breaths, feeling better.

Perfect. People forget about breath and how when we're tense, we even tend to hold our breath and deny our brain oxygen at the very minute it needs it the most. And in fact, when people are venting, I teach leaders actually to tell them, take a breath right before we give a question for self-reflection so that they can bypass that ego and, you know, move into some great thought patterns. But number one is, is breathe. And once you've mastered that simple breath, take 3 to 5 breaths, you can go on. And I use pranayama breathing a lot, and you can Google that. That, for my listeners, is a way that you use breath and then some pattern and some other ways that really can open up some great new options for you. So breath is perfect. And what's your second?

So the second one, this is an example of where there's research out there that generally is not making its way to the general public, so people can't take advantage of it. But this is some research coming out of Professor Richie Davidson's lab at University of Wisconsin-Madison, and other people have also seen this in their research, but in his book that he wrote, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, he talks about how now that they've mapped the parts of our brain with technology like functional MRI, they can see when the part that's happy lights up. And if you do a fake smile with just your cheeks and your mouth, nothing happens. But they found that if you also just crinkle the corners of your eyes, those muscles underneath and the sides of your eyes that just naturally get activated in a genuine smile, If you do that and hold it for a few seconds, the part of our brain associated with our happiness lights up. And so pretty soon it becomes a real smile. And so I recently wrote a LinkedIn post on this, and I actually created a YouTube video trying my best to sort of show people what the difference is. And of course, as I watched it, I'm like, hey, where did all those wrinkles come from? But it's, it's such a great quick thing you can do anywhere. Just Crinkle the corner of your eyes and suddenly it changes how you think about things. It changes your moods and your ability to shift your thinking.

Amazing. I'm doing it right now. I can't help but, but do it. I think it's so important that we start to understand and value these small things that we can do that make big differences. Because most of us, when we want to make change and be happy in our lives, we start to think about huge habits we have to change. And the science is really indicating there are some disciplines you can do in the moment, just in time, just for a few minutes that make a huge difference. And I have a secret, right? When you mentioned that, I happened to, with my left hand, amazon.com and order that book as well as, as yours. So I'm excited to read about the emotional life of your brain. And I, I'm assuming in your book, because I, have enjoyed so much talking to you that while you give us this great collection of quick tips, for those of us that want to go deeper, my hunch is, is that you give us a few recommendations and ideas for other people's work to check out. Is that the case in the book?

Right. At the end of the book, I have some other recommended reading, and I tried to keep it short because, of course, I can think of a long list of books. And if you want more, you can go to my website under resources. I have Much longer list, but I just mentioned 4 or 5 there. I mentioned some videos you can get on my YouTube channel. And I also just created a short 7-part video series, you know, really short videos called Shifting into Positive Gear. So again, free resources, just trying to spread the word and get these tools and insights into people's hands so they can use them.

That's what I love about all of us involved in positive psychology and many of these other avenues is that we absolutely know and live the concept of abundance, and we know that there just is no scarcity in the world. So great free videos. And by the way, I have heard Tina for just a second present. She's fabulous. We were at a conference together. So it's thepositiveedge.net, is that correct?

Very good. Yep, thepositiveedge.net will take you to my main website, and there you can see under Weekly Tips Resources, learn more about my services and my new book.

Perfect. And for those of you listening, I know that you're very active on social media. So take Tina up on her offer, get on YouTube, you know, subscribe to her videos. Many of you are subscribing to my videos as well. And there's just some easy things you can do for yourself, But also they get other people involved. So for those of you that ask me, Tsai, how do I introduce this concept without igniting the ego? How do I try and help people find some additional happiness to realize that suffering really is optional, that they don't need to be unhappy or anxious? How do I help people without bruising that ego, without leading with, you're a negative person, please get better? This is a great way to do that. It is a non-threatening but wonderful, fabulous book that would be a great introduction to some of those folks and also another resource to add to the toolkit of those of you that are working hard to burn off your own egos. So Tina, what else would you like to make sure our listeners know or walk away with today?

I would say, you know, definitely this fact that, hey, it's natural. Our minds want to go to the problems, to the negative, to the things we don't like. Just acknowledge it. Just be OK with that. But realize you have a choice. In every moment, we have a choice to choose how we're going to respond, how we're going to show up, how we're going to be. And when we are intentional about that, we have more enjoyable work, better interactions with our colleagues, you know, just a better work experience overall and a higher quality of life. So who wouldn't want that?

Exactly. I remember when the first person told me— I consider the best advice I ever have and the best advice I can give is stop believing everything you think. And I remember being shocked that I even had a choice. I thought because I thought it, it's real. But what I hear you saying is once you understand this is just your natural wiring, it means that you can acknowledge it, but you don't have to be dictated By it, that you actually then can have some choices and some pretty compassionate choices. If you know this is how we're wired, there's no reason to beat yourself up about it. But there is so much hopefulness that once we know that, you can move in different directions. So I look forward, Tina, to a long relationship. It was such a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for being on this podcast. And I know myself, I will be doing a bit of a holiday. Gift giving to some folks. A wonderful new book out there on Amazon right now called Sharpen Your Positive Edge. And for those of you that are listening, please go out, look up Tina Hallis's work, and tell us what you think. Give us some great feedback and tell us how it's worked for you. And for now, keep ditching the drama. Thank you so much for joining the episode. If you're loving this podcast, just make sure that you check me out on Facebook and Instagram and especially YouTube.