Let's pause. I'm here for you.

This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your world place. I'm Sy Wakeman. Hello everybody, this is Sy Wakeman and this is another episode of the No Ego Podcast. The setup's a little different. I am here in Mexico, somewhat stranded due to The pandemic that's going on right now. And I wanted to take a moment away from what we have just begun on season 3, which was taking your letters and questions and inviting other people onto the podcast to help me answer those. And I want to take a break from that to make sure that I'm coming to you with relevant information that may help all of us get through just A very, very unusual and can be scary time. So today I'm coming to you from Mexico. This is my own little homemade setup. You would crack up if you saw pictures of what I have— my phone basically taped to the table in a homemade tripod. But we're all innovating right now, and I wanted to try in my podcasts for the next while, however long we need, to help you remember the principles of reality-based leadership and apply them to circumstances that are unusual, um, at— for many of us, unprecedented, and do my best to help you understand that even in the midst of such undesirable circumstances, we can still find peace and contentment and do our best work. So that's what we're going to talk about today, is the beginning of conversations about helping all of you at this time, regardless of whether you're sheltered in place or quarantined or working the front lines and delivering food, or our incredible folks in healthcare. I wanted to just see if there was anything I could give you that might be helpful. And in fact, I have to admit, I procrastinated this podcast a bit because I kept trying to come up with the perfect advice or the things I could say to you to make this better or easier or less painful or less— for some of you in healthcare, less real. And I realized that there just isn't anything I can come on and say or tip or technique I can give you That will change our circumstances right now, but that my role was really just to remind you of some core universal principles that if we can just re-re-re-remember— and I did that on purpose, re-remember, because I have to re-re-re-remember the same things I've learned over and over and over again— if I could just be a pause for you and an opportunity for you just to reflect and step away and get some distance or perspective on how you have been moving through the world and get you just a bit more skilled up, then that's really all I could do. So that's what I'm here to do today, is to discuss the pandemic and many of our reactions to that and some tips that I hope you can take away that might be helpful. And in that spirit, I want you to write to me your questions or your situations things that I could help you with, make sure that you're sending me those questions. All the questions you gave me weeks ago that I was going to address on this podcast, we will get to those, but I really wanted to be relevant today. So throughout the course of the next couple of weeks, please send me through your social media channels what we can do to help. I will be doing a podcast each week. We will also be tending to you on Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn, putting clips together, sending those out, sending hopefully some good memes. Help me share with your colleagues, your friends, your family. Get as many people involved and helped by reality-based leadership as possible. So I want to start out by saying that for much of the counsel and, and strategies I will present to you are for those of you that have found your routine disrupted and are home juggling many, many hats. Some of you are trying to work while be single parents while deal with your dog who isn't used to having you home all day and keeping the wheels on the bus at work, trying to meet your own social needs, trying to be a great parent for your kids. And now many of you get to be teachers as well. Big disruption, lots of juggling of roles. I'm going to speak towards those situations or speak to those situations, but I want to pause. And just speak to my healthcare providers, workers, caregivers, my folks that are essential, that are on the front lines of this. There just isn't at times any way to edit down and, and find a way to love our current reality. There are some things that are less than ideal in the reality that all of you are dealing with, and I just want to you know, say to my healthcare leaders, to, to all of you, like, this is a time where we didn't even have to issue the call to greatness. Our people are called up to greatness by this crisis, this emergency. And as people are called up, the best thing you can do as a leader, the best thing you can do for each other in these tough situations, is just make sure you're making the most of the moment And you're managing the energy of the people. And in order to do that, you have to tend to the people first. You will have folks that hit their breaking points at different times during the day, different times during the shift. They're taken off guard or triggered by something that just happened. They're getting a lot of things piled on in their own grief. And I want to just remind you, because it's so tempting for those of us in healthcare to give orders and redirect and put people back into play. And what I want for all of us is just to remember that even if it's just for a moment, you've got to, before you can give those orders and put people back into play, take one minute and just tend to the person first. And let them know that you see them, that you're connecting with them, that you get that this is a struggle. And although they signed up to do great things in the world, they didn't necessarily sign up to take danger home to their family. Like, these are individuals who signed up to respond and heal people who are very sick, and part of that contract was they would have the tools they needed to do their job, they would have protective gear. And we've got to acknowledge for the moment that this is different than they signed up for, and it's different than what their families signed up for, and that cannot go unacknowledged or without gratitude. So even though traditionally I speak on the side of, you know, suck it up, buttercup, we got to make this work. And so many of you are rising to the occasion. I couldn't be more proud than I am of all of you, and especially that team at Nebraska Medicine and the people who are figuring out how to use ultraviolet light to, to sterilize masks so that you can re-wear them. All of you, I'm just very proud. But I just want all of you to not pass by the moments, the direct eye contact that you can make with one another, the acknowledging, the hug or elbow bump or 2 minutes in the hallway to have a conversation, or the 10 minutes to gather together in a break room and get your hands washed and sit down to even a 10-minute meal together, whatever it can be. It is so important that you tend to the people right now. And we can't fix this, and we maybe can't even think about what's next, but we can think about what now. So as things seem to be falling apart, if you can just connect with people, convince them that you care about them— we got this, this isn't ideal, and now let's focus the energy on what now, given this just happened, given this change, given we have new direction, given we don't have what we need, what now— and center people back into the now. One of the best ways to help people in the anxiety of the moment is to center them into the now. And language is so important to do that. Right now we have this. Currently we are making do with what we have. For today, we're clear about what we can do. At this time, we have a way to move through that. Anytime that people are getting anxious, it could be that they're not just handling this moment, but they're trying to handle the next 1,000 moments that they can anticipate coming our way. And in healthcare, we're trained to anticipate. We're not trained to just think about what's now. We're trained to think about what is going to be my next complication, what is going to be my next fire drill here in ICU. And so I want everybody to breathe a lot, capture the moment, calm down, and know that if people are coming at you with a ton of anger Remember that anger is the COVID emotion for fear. So if you're driving down the highway and a child comes out of nowhere and comes into the road and you almost hit them, our first reaction is just plain fear. We are horrified that we could have harmed a child. But guess what follows directly after that? Anger. And so for a lot of you, our anxiety can come out in frustration and irritability, anger, venting. And for all of us that are on the front line, when you find yourself just coming at things with anger, if you can just breathe back into the moment and find the fear and just speak the words, I'm scared. Let somebody know this is scary stuff. And for those of us consoling and tending to our people, recognize the fear. The fear is, is valid. And the way out of fear isn't to move into anger and to protest and to, you know, rail against the reality. The way to dispel fear is to speak it out loud, to feel the feeling, and then make some choices that I don't have to know what to do. I have to be confident that together we'll figure out what to do. See, it used to be that we had all of our confidence based in what we thought was control and routine of our situations. Like, we were confident in our circumstances because they hardly changed. It was like this illusion of control. The reality is we never had control, but the illusion's completely gone right now. And our confidence was more in my circumstances will be predictable. And right now, to really move through this skillfully, we have to move move our confidence and the source of it away from we can accurately predict the future, or we always have what we need, or we know what to do, and move that confidence and base it and root it instead in I don't know what's going to happen, I don't have predictability in my life, I don't— I haven't been in times like this before, but I can be confident that I'm a committed, smart person, that I am part of an incredible team, that my community will come together and support us in any way that they, they can. Your confidence is shaken because it was confidence based in knowing— we thought what was going to happen at any given moment. And so to rebuild our confidence, we have to reroot that into confidence in our own resiliency and our own ability to survive. And resilience, remember, is not about how strong we are, it's how connected We are how often we can ask for help, how direct we can be in asking for what we need. So before I started any of this, I didn't want my healthcare workers out there to think that you're not top of mind for me. And I get a little emotional because as I walk the beach, which isn't a bad place to be stranded, I I think about all of you. And I just say prayers for you guys. Hang in there. And now on with the podcast. I won't even edit that part out because it tells you how much I love you guys. Um, I want to talk a little bit about my weird situation. So many of you heard I had a nephew pass away at the end of February from a horrible car accident. He was 15. His name was Drew, and he was killed with his best friend Colton. And his funeral was March 7th. And we, of course, were getting some news about the virus and thinking about how we could prepare for it in the U.S. And I thought, you know what, I'm gonna use the time on the 8th to just sneak away to Mexico for a few days and recover myself. I had been through a few challenges, and I thought, you know, I'm gonna go down there and take 5 or 6 days and recover. And, and I did get some really beautiful days down here in Mexico taking it pretty easy. And then, as you know, things started to fall apart and all heck started to break loose. And so I made the decision when I was supposed to leave 5 days later that It didn't seem safe to go home and go through the Houston airport at the time. All the airports were really backed up from people coming in internationally, and I thought that is absolutely the surest way for me to get exposed and, you know, have to worry about my own immune system and the virus. And so I thought there's no harm, no foul. I don't have anything scheduled for another week. I'll just stay in Mexico. And that's when everything really started to kind of fall apart. It got crazy as the virus hit our shores. I was on a call with my team and we basically were watching every engagement that we had scheduled for 3 months just completely fall away throughout the week. We just watched as our entire business was completely wiped out. I mean, I'm talking not a single gig till June, if then. Our Ditch the Drama tour, we were having to think about not being able to hold the tour. And while that was all happening, I was watching the stock market crash and yours and my retirement savings really dwindle. And all kinds of other things in my personal life were just crashing left and right. And in that moment, I became aware of what was an authentic reaction, but one of the most strange reactions I, um, could imagine experiencing. And that was as I was watching my schedule for the next 3 months be completely wide open, and I was watching, you know, financially what seemed to be kind of ruins and all kinds of other things happening. And I thought, you know what, this is tough stuff. And I noticed what I was feeling in that moment authentically was excitement and almost glee and gratitude and giddiness. And I thought, this is it. This is the straw that cracked the camel's back. I, I've lost it. And I really got in touch with what felt so liberating, so freeing. I'm like, are you kidding me? It feels like I won the lottery. It just seemed out of proportion, but yet it was so authentic. And what it boiled down to, folks, is my entire life All I have ever wanted is a house on the water, on the beach, and the luxury of time. And in an instant, I had gotten both of those. I literally had 3 months of sabbatical with, you know, a wide open slate to do all of those things that I love to do, time to create, all this good stuff. I had the luxury of time, and I literally am in a little tiny house on the water in Mexico. And that feeling was true liberation. And I tell you this not to, you know, have all of you come back and go, wow, how privileged. Like, I tell you this because of the lesson that came next. I started to feel guilty for that feeling, and I started to have what I thought maybe was survivor's guilt. And I started to compare my harm that I've experienced to others. I'm like, well, others— I'm not as bad off as others, but I'm still, you know, bad off. And When my mind got involved, I noticed that what came with it was all kinds of negative feelings that weren't there when I was just taking reality for what it really is. If I took away all of my story, I am in a house on the water with three months to heal and recuperate and the luxury of time at a point in my life where I'm feeling incredibly creative and ready to metaphorically give birth to something amazing and what's next. One of my favorite sayings is freedom isn't freedom until you. have nothing left to lose. And I felt like in the moment where a lot was lost for myself and for my team, very, very free. And it wasn't until I started to get into the future that I started to feel anxiety. Yeah, but how will I keep things open? Oh my gosh, suddenly stress. Yeah, but if this goes on past a month— Yeah, but if I can't get home like The only time I got stressed was when I went off into the future, and I got a front row seat to notice how that works for me in my life. Because if I come just down to the present, like I recommended at the beginning of this podcast, if I just got quiet in the present, I have every single thing I need right now. And I even have many things to be grateful for because where I am is pretty isolated. But it isn't until I get out of my lane— oh my gosh, what will my kids do and what will they need and I won't be there for them. How can I help them? I started to observe and notice that it wasn't always about helping them. It's like, how can I do this if I can't control how that works out and control how this works out and be there to steer this in this direction? And it was only when I got out of the present moment— because in the present moment I have everything I need It was only when I got out of the present moment that I had anxiety and that I started to really experience— if you want stress, get a future. And that's why I've practiced so often this anchoring of for today. I have this weird anxiety. It's like, what if I run out of vegetables? I have nothing fresh to eat. I'm like, wait a minute, for today I have what I need. And really great locals are coming around because it's harvest season here, and they're walking our neighborhood and selling us some of their great harvest, and I was able to buy some. It's like we have neighbors that can help each other out. My whole point in this is that this is such a wonderful time to observe yourself— what triggers you, when are you peaceful and when are you not, and what happens in the interim— and really to notice how you move through life. We're so good at noticing how other people move through life, and that's the fodder for our judgment, but notice how you move through life and observe yourself. And then take it one step farther, do that with compassion. Because I found myself whenever I would get some stress that instead of calling myself gently back to the present moment, I was a little violent at times. And so I have gotten back to that place each day where I just feel the joy that a kid feels when they heard that there's a snow day and there's no school and I really have made the choice for myself, and I'd invite you to do the same, that I will come through this pandemic better, more evolved. I will commit to using this time that I really am isolated. It's not as beautiful as it seems. Yes, it's beautiful, but I spend most of my days and nights completely alone. We're socially distancing. I wave to people on the beach, and I've been completely alone physically except for Facebook and FaceTiming and some other things for now going on my 3rd week. And I, I noticed that whenever I get out of the present moment, that, that's only the only time I get anxiety. So I've had to be compassionate and determined that I'm gonna come through this epidemic better, more evolved. And I want to give you some tips on how to be in this messiness and still have some contentment in your life, but also to make some commitments on how you're going to use this time, whether it's a month or 2 months. Or we will be on the other side of this at some point, and I think it's for all of us to decide whether we will use our time to make sure that we come out of this better or, or the same or, or worse. And so it's important to me that you go through this time with an eye towards how can I evolve. And in fact, I reconnected with a friend who's just been a dear friend for life, and we reconnected during this time, and she reached out and I responded. And after we talked, she wrote me a note and she said, I'm so glad you're choosing to go through this pandemic as a monk, not a prisoner. And that really hit me because, folks, the prison I think we'll all find is the prison in our own minds, not necessarily the, the directives that have come from government agencies and our healthcare workers to just stay home. And I find it so interesting on when we are asked to stay home to notice what we're avoiding. Have you replaced the busyness of your life when you were out and about with busyness in your home? And if so, like, what are you trying to avoid? And so I am using the time down here to write in the new book. You guys are gonna love it. It just keeps going deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper. And one of the things that I realized is that the 2 mantras I came up with recently for our business really are relevant for these times and really have been kind of a mantra, a set of mantras for my entire life. And the 2 mantras I have are love wins, love is always the response, love wins, and evolve yourself. And if you came to work for me, I would tell you, when in doubt, just be loving every Deed, every act is either an act of love that's done towards you, it feels great, or a cry for love. And the only appropriate response is a loving one. And I truly mean that, that we can, especially in these times, just give people benefit of the doubt, give them forgiveness, give them love. It doesn't mean you are endorsing a certain behavior. It doesn't mean you're agreeing to stay into— in a relationship that doesn't meet your non-negotiables. It is just saying that the how you do anything has to be a loving one. And the only time we're not able to act in a loving way is when we're believing our own thinking, when we're into the delusion of our separateness, when we're into the illusion of the fact that we aren't all in this together. And what I love about this change of who's essential and who's not is that for so many of us, the surprising hero besides our incredible healthcare caregivers, are the people who are fixing our food and delivering for us and are out there as first responders and out there really on the front lines. And it's a good time for us to assess how we've treated others and for us to assess, is love winning in our lives? Are we compassionate? Are we kind? Are we Do we think of others when we vote or when we have extra resources? Or, you know, how are we going through this pandemic as a hoarder or a giver? How are we going through this as someone who spends hours spewing negativity online or somebody who spends hours finding out who needs help and helping? And so I really want all of us to start thinking about the lessons at hand and making choices about how you want to go through through the next 2 weeks. These 2 weeks will pass regardless. You will be better off at the end of these or not. But please, anytime you find yourself not moving forward with a lot of kindness and love, check in, self-reflect. What's going on? What have you forgotten about yourself? What story are you telling yourself? What thinking are you believing? What do you need to do to toggle up into high self? That's the first mantra: love wins. The second mantra is evolve your yourself. Do not go through this pandemic unaffected. Now, I want you not to be traumatized because the reality is we are going to lose people we love. This is not— there's no way to candycoat this or say this is phenomenal, or it's not positive thinking. But don't miss the lesson in this pandemic. Evolve yourself, meaning allow yourself to be impacted and notice your want to impact your reality, but our resistance to being impacted by our reality. And again, I say impacted, not traumatized. I once traveled with a traveling partner, and when we started to unpack, I was amazed at all the stuff she'd brought with her. She had brought hot chocolate. I'm like, well, why Did you bring hot chocolate? And she's like, well, I have hot chocolate every morning and I really like this brand and I didn't know if I could find it. And she brought cough drops. I'm like, oh, are you ill? And she's like, well, no, but if I do get ill, I only like this particular kind of cough drops. And so I didn't know if I could find them here or not. And as she unpacked, I noticed that she brought most of her world with her. And the reason we had traveled is we were so excited to see another part of the world. And through that trip, I found often how I would feed into her need to want to impact the world. Like, she would want to share her cough drops with others to show them what we have in the United States instead of really having this mindset of curiosity. And it, it really dawned on me, the reason I travel is not to take what I know with me, but to leave what I know behind and allow myself to be impacted by the experience. And I watch people move through the pandemic as it hits our world, and many people are taking a look at what they know and they're going out to do the hustle and not lose one moment of business and not miss a step. And just, if this is what we did before, we can now do it virtual. And if I kept a full schedule before, I'll just reschedule it with stuff at home. And one of my concerns is that the knowing, the things we know and we're sure of, and we go out to just recreate but virtually— that knowing, my concern is, will keep us from knowing the, the yet unknowns. And what I mean by that is, I'm hoping for you, you don't just— unless your life was amazing and you absolutely love it and you're totally happy— don't just create what you had virtually Allow yourself to be impacted by this experience. What are areas in your life that you realize you don't need? What are experiences you long for? How could you curate your day today or your world differently? One of the big differences I've seen when I call back to the States and have my team meetings is that I'm less affected by the constant news feed because I actually have to go to my computer and push play to get any news. And so I easily can curate my life where I just check in one time per day for one half hour while I cook my dinner. And other folks are bombarded by the newsfeed and their anxiety is high, and it never dawns on them that they could just turn that off. Like, instead of just being sanctioned to be at home, are you actually arranging for some quietude or some solitude? Are you shutting things down and just allowing some time to retreat and unwind and re— you know, recharge. And so evolving yourself is all about self-reflecting and noticing what you're doing in times like this and really mining your experience, which is continuous learning in our accountability model, but mining your experience for Get what you came for. Like, go fully into it and mine your experiences for the lessons at hand. And it doesn't mean you have to come out of this a monk. It doesn't mean I will live in solitude in a little house on the beach in Mexico forever, although I'm starting to think I might. Um, but what I've really taken away from this is the power of solitude and quietude in my life. And the superpower of really curating my life and fine-tuning it and moving it into routine that I create for myself— good habits, good discipline— to, to really build the container for the creativity to happen. And to sit my butt in a chair every single morning so that the muse, the creative muse, can find me. To feed my mind with incredible podcasts and in reading. And although I did many of those things before, they were always the afterthought, not the bones, not the foundation of moving forward. So I'm just really— even though we have challenges, we have team meetings many mornings, we are trying to figure out how to best serve all of you, we are working to pivot— I'm just noticing what is this revealing to us. And I hope for you as a person that you come through this more evolved, and I hope for you as a business you come through this more evolved. What are you learning about your teams and your— which— what work is necessary and what can you really do virtually? And is it really necessary we all get on planes and increase our carbon footprint and, you know, move through the world just for the luxury of let's have a meeting in person, it's better? Like, are you getting savvy online? Are you getting good at virtual things that you've resisted to date. Like, really go deep, folks. Allow this pandemic to change you. And, and for me, I made the comment, I'm like, you know, don't waste— don't let a good pandemic go to waste. And I meant it with a lot of humor, and a lot of people got what I meant, but some people really responded like, this is nothing to joke about, people will die. And even in that is an example of how quickly our ego moves to either-or thinking instead of both-and. Both and thinking is this is terrible and we can find some humor in it. Who knew how often we touched our own faces? I don't think I'll ever be the same again. Dermatologists are going to be, you know, they're going to lose business over this thing. Like, why can't it be many things at once? You know, these, these moms and dads of seniors It's terrible that the seniors aren't going to do the graduation if that was important to them, and it's pretty amazing to have so much time with your own senior at home. It's horrifying for some people to figure out how do I work and how do I teach my kids and keep everybody occupied, and it's fantastic that you're out of your comfort zone and That, you know, your coworkers are bonding to you in different ways as they see your kid run back and forth behind you on the screen. Like, what could come out of this if we agreed with the universe to bring it out? And by the way, this is a good time to do a business inventory. My team is the dream team, and they are good at pivoting, and they are good at resistance, and they are high accountable. And we weren't as affected immediately by this. It was like immediately like, first, let's take care of our clients, let's see what they need. And then secondly, we've been doing virtual training for 10 years waiting for the world to be okay with virtual training. We're good at it. Like, does this expose where you're not keeping up with the times, where you weren't quite ready as an individual or as a business? For us, it's really exposed in many cases where we were ready and where we could easily pivot. We're excited about putting some new projects together to bring to you when this is all over, because I don't think we'll return to something that we were. We will have a new normal, and we want to be there for the rebuilding of this, for taking all of this good stuff that we uncover and helping you know how to put that together in an incredible workplace going forward. So a couple of lessons that I want you to think about: if you're anxious, be very careful that you're not out of the now and into the future. If you are, that centering, that anchoring of just for today, currently, right now, and bring your focus right back into just something more manageable. If in doubt, just ask for help, reach out, really Really go there and notice what your experience would be without your thinking. I was in bliss knowing I had the luxury of time and I was in a beautiful place to be stuck. But I tell you what, about 200 times a day my mind takes me into the future or into the what-ifs and brings with it a lot of anxiety for me. So choose your way through your day, your week. And gratitude isn't just being grateful for the things you like. It is getting okay with what is. And a great exercise is to look at some of your realizations. Are you realizing that you're pining for the very thing you complained about just weeks ago? What does that tell you about your gratitude and the luxury of being able to get frustrated with a colleague that you would love to be sitting in the office with today? Like, where does it give you compassion for other people? I had one of my sons sent me this really great meme, and it just talked about, you know, all of these folks that are really struggling with constant anxiety and racing thoughts and sweating palms and fear of the future and fear of things, you know, germs and phobias and basically the whole point was, it's like, and now the rest of the world knows what some of us with anxiety deal with on a daily basis. Has this made you more human, more compassionate, more understanding of what it's like for other folks? If you traditionally have a life that you have a lot of privilege where you have daycare and you have extra help and you have a partner helping maybe to raise your kids kids. Does it give you compassion for that coworker who's a single parent working 2 jobs and having to do that amidst trying to get all the forms signed for her or his child back at work? Like, can it make us more understanding of others? And, you know, basically I'd like to say welcome to a firsthand experience of being a human being. Do not waste this. Notice how you are tempted to numb yourself, whether it be with alcohol or busyness or productivity or just paging through social media? And what is it you're avoiding? What, what are you trying to numb yourself away from? I've chosen to go through this whole pandemic completely sober— no alcohol, eating very healthy, doing lots of meditation. I'm not kidding you, monk stuff. And I'm really noticing all the times that in the past I would have numbed it. With staying up late watching mindless TV or having a margarita, or instead I'm noticing when my energy gets anxious, I go out for a walk on the beach, or I send up hopes and prayers for my colleagues in healthcare. Keep a journal. Doesn't have to be pretty. What's your triggers? What are you learning? When are you most judgmental? What's your pattern? Is your pattern not asking for help, not letting anybody see you down and out? It's like, what's your pattern? Are you muscling your way through this? Are you just trying to use pure strength and willpower to get through it? Because those are gonna wear off soon, and you're gonna need to re-curate your life for— to settle into this. You can't just pretend for a couple weeks this didn't happen. And so I, I just want you to be thinking about how you can move through this with a lot of love and evolving yourself. I want you to come through as a better person and a better company, and that can't happen without your permission. That's not passive. It's, yes, impact where you can. We need you to stay home. We need you to wash your hands. We need you to not go to the emergency room If you, even if you have symptoms, if you're not experiencing life-threatening symptoms like shortness of breath, we need you to take care of each other. We need you to help each other get food and groceries. We need you to, if you're physically distancing, we need you to not socially distance and to reach out to other folks, especially your extroverted friends. We need you to add into the world not more fear and more hate and more judgment and more critique. We need you to add into the world just more care and more consideration and more kindness. Yes, impact the world. Do what you can to get our healthcare workers what they need and to take care of the people around us, but don't go through this without allowing this to impact you. Let this work on you. If you have uncomfortable realizations coming up, Let them be there and use that to grow yourself, to evolve yourself. And be really careful of judgments. Be careful of quick reactions. I want to leave you with a technique that is all about feel your feelings, but be willing to let go of your feelings. You can feel your feelings, but be careful when you start to think your feelings. We have some— a great clip on that. out today in social media. But it really is this both/and thinking. Whenever you have named something as horrible or terrible, or— I want you to also find a way that it's fortunate. It's terrible my son can't walk through graduation, and I love I get to spend more time with him. It's terrible that our healthcare workers are facing what they need to face, and I am looking at universal healthcare differently and healthcare as a human right differently. Whatever it is for you, how can you have the and and create mental flexibility, create perspective by widening your view of the world Distance gives us perspective, and the way to distance ourselves out of the panic is to take a step back and play many sides of the same reality that's happening. So it's staying curious one minute longer. Instead of just naming something as horrible, name something as horrible and also okay and also fortunate. What can you do to play all positions right now in your mind so that you don't take yourself down that rabbit hole that leads to, you know, loss of hope. And we need hope right now. We need a lot of people that have faith in who we are as people and that will really use this as a fantastic wake-up call and will take care of each other. And if you are struggling, reach out. If you don't have what you need, reach out. Promise that if you're feeling like this is not okay and you can't get yourself to be okay with what you have at your disposal, that you'll reach out. For a lot of us, this is pretty triggering stuff. So I will be back every week and throughout the week to try and love you up and encourage you and give you tools and techniques. I would love to hear from you. How are you using reality-based leadership techniques to cope. And I'm going to be coming out to you on Facebook Live twice a week, not to preach at you but to be with you and take some of your questions and see if there's a way that I can just have conversation with you and highlight those of you that are doing well or have those glimpses when you have done well. Make sure and send me your questions. I'll try and answer those. Um, I appreciate all of you. We got this. You gotta learn to love reality as it is and without drama, because there are times that it can be, um, challenging, or as we don't like it. But the pain comes from when you hang on to that or when you add on to it. So keep Keep editing your stories. Do not believe you're thinking right now. This is just good fodder for the ego. Be well and take good care of each other. Thank you. I will see you next week at another episode of the No Ego Podcast. This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and. Transform your world place. I'm Sai Wakeman.