Q&A: Handling team fears, establishing new routines, and getting vulnerable

This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your workplace. I'm Sy Wakeman. Welcome everyone to another episode of the No Ego Podcast. We are pivoting, as is the word of the day, I think, out in everybody's work life and home life, and we had started this season's episode to take in more detailed letters or emails from you to really help us apply the principles of Reality-Based Leadership. And as we got into that season, we were hit with the pandemic. And so to be most useful and of most service at this time, I wanted to change our focus and focus on questions that people are emailing in or asking us during our Facebook Live broadcast and really just see if there's quick help that we can get to folks, if we can be your resource as you make these transitions and figure out how best to live together, work together under these circumstances, that we would do that and we would use this time together to go through questions. And I'm getting tons of questions, so thank you for that. We'll get through as many as we can. Some of you guys are saying, you know, Sai, you're looking pretty tan. And I am isolating, but not in the US. I, at the beginning of March, came down for just a few days of respite to the Baja. And for a variety of personal reasons, it became not the best idea for me to travel back when all of the airports were really congested. With people, and the pandemic was just starting to break out in the States. And so I chose to stay here and figure out ways virtually that I could help support all of you and be a resource to all of those people I love that are deemed essential right now, that are on the front lines, whether they be in healthcare or in the service industries. And also to do the best I can to help all of you that are transitioning to your roles at home and And I found myself, as I got into recording this podcast, procrastinating a little bit. And I inquired, like, what is this procrastination about? Because I really like coming to you all and just talking conversationally. I wish you were here sitting at my table. And by the way, this is all self-produced, so none of this goes on my team. I'm taping this with my iPhone 11 and Zencastr on my computer. But as I I started to think about getting into responding. I love the interaction, I love the platform, and I found myself making a mistake that I think that you might be making with your teams that potentially you're leading virtually or you're leading in really challenging circumstances. And that is that I started to put an expectation on myself that I would need to come to you with the answer or complete answers on how you should be doing these things. Or the best, most proven advice. And, and in doing that, I just wasn't coming up with anything complete enough or helpful enough or that could even fly in the face of what some of you are facing. And by the way, everybody's experiences is really unique and different right now. There's just no one way to go through this quarantine. And although I preach a lot about evolve yourself and I'm not talking about remaking yourself. If what you do is get through a day and you basically have yourself safe, cared for, fed, slept, good for you. I don't think that you need to come through this a whole different person. What I'm saying in evolving yourself is notice how you're coming through this. Notice— And, and in these times of Whether it be isolation or quietude or chaos, the best information you can get right now is notice how you move through that. And then for yourself, set a small aspiration of how, given that information coupled with some compassion, you could move through things perhaps more skillfully or more effortlessly or without added stress or pain. Anyway, I procrastinated because I'm thinking, I really don't want to fail you guys. I want to give you like the best answer. And here's the catch with that— that's ego stuff— is not one of us has the best answer. That's the point. Not one of us has the best answer. We each are a data point. So imagine that you're crowdsourcing a question. You're doing the big Google search of life. You're gonna want a bunch of data points weighing in on that. And then don't take as one data point my word for this. Check it out for yourself. Make your unique combinations. Test and fail and revamp. And so I really had to right-size what I was able to bring to you, which are some thoughts, some interruption of your thinking, some great questions, some plans for self-reflection, from some ideas from Some things I've learned in the past and some things we know from research, knowing full well that none of these are going to be complete. No one has all the answers. So leaders, check yourself if you're avoiding your teams because you know they're going to have questions you can't answer fully, or they're going to have emotions that you can't fix, or they're going to prefer different circumstances and you can't really control those. Now or ever, in the past or in the future. And so I just had to notice that about myself. I'm just doing a lot of using my time to check in and get to know myself a lot better, watch how I walk through life on the daily, and get more conscious and more intentional about that. So I'm gonna give you what I have today. We're gonna scoot through quite a few questions and my answers, and hopefully we will give you some new ideas and, and some things to try. Before I do that, I just again want to shout out to all of you that are jumping in and helping, however that looks for you. If you're helping by staying home, if you're helping by checking in on folks, if you're helping through donations or, you know, getting people what they need, however you're helping, Awesome. For those of you that are going out on the daily and trying to keep an infrastructure there so people can get what they need, thank you to all you essential workers. For those of you in healthcare, we— I just, I'm thinking about you daily. I'm just hoping that you're taking care of one another the best you can. And my, my best counsel is make the most of the moments. I know you're overwhelmed, overworked, many of you. Make the most of the moments. Eye contact, one second, just seeing whether it's your patient or each other, just acknowledging. Right now we're getting so covered up and it's like almost everyone's whole faces are covered. I saw a really cool thing one of the nurses in New Orleans did, and he had made— since people can't really see his face and the smile, he had made this big picture name tag for himself with himself smiling so people could see what he looked like as he's at their chairside or their bedside. But one thing I heard that I want to just mention is I've heard it from healthcare workers that said, you guys, no worries, we signed up for this. And I've heard it from other people saying, you know, these folks signed up for this. And I just want to educate from my perspective some folks in case that's kind of your mindset. It's like, well, yeah, we Reality-based leadership—it's like that's what you signed up for. You committed, like do your job. And I just want to say that for many healthcare workers, they're recontracting mentally right now. They didn't necessarily sign up for this. They signed themselves up to care for the sick and the the needy, and they signed themselves up for a level of risk that we as leaders and organizations try and help them mitigate through good protective equipment. And I mean, we're on their case if we see. In normal times going into a room without all the PPE on that they need. I mean, that's almost grounds for, you know, eventually performance management, coaching, counseling sessions. They signed up for what they were willing to do with some circumstances where they got what they needed. Not many of them signed up to put their own families in jeopardy, and that's where a lot of our healthcare workers who are such amazing individuals who are giving and willing to risk themselves and willing to care for all of us. That's where we've got them in a bit of an emotional bind, is helping us who show up in need. They committed themselves, but they never really committed their partners or their kids or their extended family. And that's when I'm coaching healthcare folks on the phone or on text, that's what I'm hearing them struggle with And so I just want to, in these times, my hope is be very slow to get out of your lane and try and tell another how they should be going through or what their view should be. And let's just create space where people can just be where they're at and that we can really care for them and call them up and do what we can to support them as they move through the hundreds of emotions that in a day. And I just wanted to go on record to say, healthcare workers, I adore you guys. I'm so appreciative of you. And, and yeah, I get that you guys are recontracting. I get this is a big ask of you. One of the exciting things is, is if we can get some people who are more— or who get some immunity, that the, the sense of potentially having some rolling resources that can work through some of the The different hotspots, you know, starting to get exciting. But especially New York, New Orleans, all of you folks, we love you. Hang in there. That's all I'll say about that. We are having Facebook Live sessions on Tuesday and Thursday next week at noon Central Time. And in those sessions, it is just my trying to connect with you. People are saying what we need is structure, and what we need is this, and what we need is that. And And at the bottom of all of that, I think a basic need we all have is just connection, where we can figure out we're not alone, we're not the only ones. We can make space for a lot of people to come together and just check in with one another. We are entertaining people's questions, we're sharing insights and best practices from people who are practicing reality-based leadership out there and are working towards facilitating accountability in a very new landscape. And so I invite you to join us. We record those, they're up on the Facebook site. If you miss those, please definitely join us, share those. We will be chopping those up into small pieces to put those out in more consumable forms on all social media. So those of you that are out there that are having to do or needing to do or wanting to do quick huddles, quick staff meetings, virtual centering exercises before you get started in your online meetings, really make sure you're plugged into us on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. We're putting a lot of this content out there, and our full intent is to load you up with different topics, techniques, strategies, re-reminders good mental processes to help everybody get through this with as little suffering as possible. So when we were on Facebook Live on Saturday, we did a special weekend piece. A question came up that I said I wanted to make sure and handle on the podcast. It was a really good one, and I think a lot of us are struggling with how do we facilitate accountability with teams that are working in very different ways. Maybe your team's working virtually, but they're working virtually from an environment that isn't as organized and maybe chaotic. And maybe they're responsible for kids and homeschooling, and they have other people in the home working with them, other jobs. Like, they're just trying to get their arms around all the things they're now responsible for— keeping a sterile environment or a clean environment, all of that stuff. And then how we can still meet the needs of your customers and clients and colleagues. And so a lot of the questions we got have to do with new ways of working together. So this question came in, and it was from Bethany, and she simply asked, she said, please help. I've advocated to allow staff to stay safe and work at home. So she did a great thing, got the organization to move in a new direction. And then she asked, how do I respond to the staff anger and resentment when they are now asked to account for their time? So Bethany, I love that you took care of your team and you asked for them to be able to work safe from home. What I want you to just detach from and check if it's an attachment for you is, oh my gosh, I got you guys safe and working from home, and now you're ungrateful enough to be mad about having to account for for your time. I just want you to notice if that's there, because leaders, we need to do the right thing without expectations. Without— we need right now as leaders to really release our need for acknowledgement and appreciation and love and care. These are times as colleagues and leaders that we just need to do the generous thing. We just need to do the compassionate thing. And watch how your ego is wanting some recognition or reward or acknowledgement. I've even noticed it as, you know, online some people have, you know, potentially made some comments about, oh, it must be nice to, you know, be laying by the pool in Mexico while the rest of us are faced with this horrible pandemic. And I was like, oh my gosh, if only you knew all the stuff I was dealing with. And I just had to back up because the truth of that is, for today, right now, it is very nice to be able to isolate and know that my kids are okay and know that my team is doing well and know that at times I even get out in the sunshine and that we're pretty isolated out here. So for everybody out there, that's not the answer to this question, but I just picked up on I advocated for them to be safe. How do I deal with their resentment for having to be accountable for their time? Just notice the things you're knitting together and separate those apart. Do the right thing as a leader and stop worrying about the rest of the story. Just do the right thing. Now, for this team, the question I'll boil it down to is, how do I respond to staff anger and resentment When they're now asked to account for their time. Bottom line to keep in mind is that you can ask for what you need and you can identify the needs of the organization, what's required, and people's response to that is not something that you can really control. So I have a lot of people and they're like, how do I ask them to do something and then not have them have an emotional reaction? So here's the reality, you can't really control that, but you can get clear about asking for what you need. And so one of the ways that I would do this if it were me is I would say, now that we're working from home and we're working virtually, we are needing to facilitate accountability by having each of you account for your time and, and your productivity. And so let's talk about how It would be most efficient or best to do that. And as people want to put the energy on, seriously, we're supposed to count our hours, take the energy and manage it away from, we're being able to work from home and one of the requirements is we need to be able to account for our time. And so let's talk about how we could do that as efficiently or easily as possible. So the first thing you're doing is cueing people when they go there To go a different direction. And it's the energy management that I talk about, that leaders manage energy more often than they manage teams. At least good reality-based leaders do that. Now, on an individual basis, if somebody's ticked about it, I may do what I call an arm around, but now it's virtual. And I may ring somebody back up and say, hey, can you jump back on video with me on a one-on-one call? I sense that there's some anger around the request to account for your time. Help me understand that. I want to be curious. I want to learn. And then I would say, you know, one of the things that I'm gonna count on you to do more and more is to manage your own work and manage yourself from home. And part of that self-management is managing your reactions and responses to some of the requirements or requests that we will need to be making. And this is a great example of that. And then I I just tell people— I don't— try not to tell them in stressful times. I ask them for what I need. And I would say, you know, here's, to be more specific, what I need. I really need for you to do a good job accounting for your time, and I want to ask you if you could just move beyond the anger of that. And just ask for what you need. Don't tell people they shouldn't be angry. Don't discount people's feelings. Just ask for what they need or what you need. You can just ask, you know, can, can we move quickly on from any kind of reaction to this request? Now, another thing I do, and it goes back to my first book, it was a technique I haven't talked about for a long time. It's this technique where you just look at what's happening and you're just like, good to know. Or somebody comes to you with a complaint, it's like, good to know. And then it's another form of energy management. It's like And here's where I want you to focus. So if people are like, well, that's ridiculous that they don't trust us, it's like, you know, um, what I'd love for you to focus on is getting your time in and then really making sure we do a great job on this work. One of the things that people are doing, and so I want everybody listening to watch out for this, one of the things that people are doing is they are Adding something onto the facts. And instead of just adding a story, this is a specific kind of story. They're taking a fact, this, and they're adding on means that. I've been asked to account for my time. That's not a painful request. Most of us are asked to account for our time. If we're 20 minutes late home to a loved one, we're asked to account for our time. If we You know, our own selves are journaling what we'd like to get done in a day, and we're going back and making off checklists. That's just accounting for your time. There's nothing painful about that until I take this. I've been asked to account for my time, and I add on that means they don't trust me. That means they're trying to get every last minute out of me. I'm not a human, and they don't care about me, and I'm just a cog in the wheel, and I'm. You know, just part of their productivity grid. Be very careful when you do that. In fact, one of the things I like to do for myself is I'll take a piece of paper and just put it in half like this, and I'll put on one side this, and I'll put on one side that. And as I write things down, I write down just the facts. I'm asked to account for my time, and I just notice how I'm feeling about that, because a lot of our feelings have nothing to do with the reality. They have to do with what we added on to the reality. And I'll notice that ticks me off, that just gets my goat. And then I'll look at what's the underlying story— is that it's obvious they don't trust me. I can't believe I'm being treated like a child. And I'll write that on the that side. So I have this on one side of the paper and that. And then as I just read through that, I notice how I feel. And when I read through the that list I'm like, oh, I don't like this place. And then I just simply rip it in half and throw away the that part and go back to the this. I'm asked to account for my time, and instantly it just cleans my life up. And I just wanted to put that out there as one idea. If your people are open, if their toggle switch is working, you might even teach them that exercise, and it might be helpful. Sometimes I have to get very directive when people are starting to work from home. You have to a lot of times recontract with how you're gonna work together. Maybe you weren't directive when they were in the same office with you and you kind of saw what they were doing and how focused they were. You're in an open environment. Getting working at home, you might not realize this, but you might have to recontract with them. How often do they like you to check And what would be most useful to help them be successful at home? And what are the factors that they're dealing with? And what do they think is going to be important to plan around? And, you know, on a regular basis, what's facilitating good work for them at home and what's inhibiting? And, you know, let's talk about that. Let's do some good Google searches to see if we can find some answers for that. So sometimes that recontracting involves some redirecting that you might not normally do with folks. And again, this is all after people are convinced you care about them and that their basic needs of safety are met. This is with a lot of grace and understanding. But I would say, you know, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Tracy, I've worked with you a long time. I want to be a bit more directive for a moment. You narrate what you're doing so it doesn't just come across without content— context. I want to be a bit more, more directive. A welcome response to that would be, no problem, when do you need it by? And I do that with just a little bit of humor in a context of a good relationship, not sarcasm. But a lot of times I just have to either direct or ask for what I need to just tell people micro boundary, move on. Good to know, here's what I'd like you to focus with. Let's not focus there, let's focus on how we could get this done. So I think any of the things we're putting out there could become targets for a place where people can safely scapegoat. My iPod pad, AirPod fell out. Where people can safely scapegoat and their reaction seems out of proportion to what you're asking. And when that happens, when people come back with some anger and it seems out of proportion, know that it's probably underlying fear and tend to the fear. We call that just a cover emotion. And you all have experienced this. Let's say you're driving a car and You know, a child runs out into the street and you don't hit them, but it scares the heck out of you that you almost hit a child. Your first response is pure fear. But if you notice what comes next is anger. Why aren't those parents watching that child? Why, you know, isn't that child been trained to stay in their own yard? Like, we need to know this in ourselves, how often fear turns into anger and venting and you know, just complaining, whatever it is, and help people acknowledge the real emotion involved, which is fear. And I might say, when somebody comes at me with some anger, I might say, you know, traditionally your responses are pretty positive, and so I'm just wondering, you know, how are you doing? Like, what's your biggest fear right now? I don't tell them, I think you're fearful instead of angry. It's not my job to diagnose them. But I would say, you know, Let's back up. My bad. I think I moved into some work and I didn't check in with you, like, how you doing? If there's one thing that's your biggest fear today, what is it? And that happens a lot in healthcare right now because a lot of the healthcare leaders that are texting me and calling me and they're like, sigh, I just need a sigh moment. They're saying, you know, I can't change reality. We have the PPE we have. We're being innovative. We're trying to figure out safe ways to, to work given our situation isn't ideal. But how do I handle just all the employees just like being so mad and, and, you know, basically complaining to me? And I guarantee you that these are great people who showed up for another long shift. These are folks a lot of times who haven't even been home. They haven't seen their kids or their loved ones or their dog, whatever their situation is. It's fear. And if you can just take a deep breath, soften your voice, open your heart, and just say, you know, all the things you're saying, I can—I hear you, I see you, and it sounds scary. So let's in this huddle talk about the fear and how do we support each other right now? The situation is not going to change right now. You guys have. have stepped up. And, you know, how do we deal with the fear? Because we need to move and not put our energy into the fear and the anger. The way to move out of fear is actually not always courage, but love. Like, how do we move in to care for our patients with love? It's like they're afraid, we're afraid, but we've got to move through the fear so that when we go in, the few moments we have with them, that we are able to show them caring and love. So Small question, but I think a lot of you are dealing with some of these challenges. So I keep glancing over in case you're wondering what I'm doing, just to make sure timewise we're good in my little setup. I'm gonna move through a few of these and a little bit more rapid fire. So I have a lot of love for people at Kohler, and I got some good questions from Kohler. Now Kohler's working worldwide and in a variety of industries in a ton of different countries. So their experience of this is gonna be like a rolling crisis situation for quite some time. And those leaders are working diligently, and, and the Kohler team members are, you know, doing a great job to step up. So I think everybody shares this though. It's like in our company, we're hearing advice about establishing a routine as a way to maintain some semblance of normalcy. This person says, "My team of 20 and I are all working from home, and so you know we've got some have spouses doing this, and they've got children they're needing to homeschool, and everybody's battling the initial stress of this new temporary situation. But now that we're three or four weeks into this, this is also the another the next new is when people figuring out this isn't going to be two weeks you just survive. This is." probably going to be a bit longer than that. And so they, you know, they say like most work environments, there are a few monthly presentations or meetings that take place that drive a lot of stress. You guys all know those— your monthly reviews, your quarterly reviews, you know, the big dog and pony show usually where you go in front of an executive team and it's too easy for people to get off track about a misspelling on the slide versus, you know, the strategy behind how to, you know, move into new markets or whatever it is. And so they're saying these meetings drive a lot of stress, and there's expectations placed on people. And they're also moving beyond an old-school culture that they're trying to change, but it's still with them for the foreseeable future. And so they say, well, I see the benefit of routine. How can we manage the expectations existential crisis of feelings and drama that we have at the moment, and that some of this routine work just really doesn't matter right now given what the world's experiencing and what we can all imagine is going to be the world of hurt for many people for our foreseeable future. What is, what is being exposed in this pandemic? The pandemic is exposing a lot of things, and it's exposing organizations that weren't ready to be virtual, organizations that have some archaic systems in place that weren't working then, but we had the luxury of being able to dedicate time and resources to it, definitely aren't working now. Each one of us is exposing, you know, what, um, what have we avoided through our busyness, or what relationships haven't we tended enough Or what self-care habits have we skimped on? Like, so much is being avoided or revealed. So what is being exposed is, is all those things that just aren't worth the return on investment. They aren't adding enough value. And going through ritual or just heritage or legacy stuff, everything needs to come under scrutiny right now with our precious energy and our precious emotional capacity. and when we're working with unlimited reserves of resilience, everything needs to be questioned. But if you start to get into questioning things on an off— on a case-by-case basis, it's not the best way to move through this. So here's some ideas I have for you. First of all, I would love for all of you involved in major disruption to really focus on what I call radical simplification. If you can just basically throw everything out and just identify not just who the essential workers are, but what is essential in what we need to create and deliver during this time. So if you have a team of 20, I would love for you to get really clear with your team— and this is collaborative, this isn't mandated stuff— is to get really clear on what truly is essential, not tasks not work. We're not there yet. What is essential deliverables? What is essential impacts that must be created? What are the things that you need to continue to be counted on for the workings of the company and the goals that you have set? So like, what are those essential deliverables? And again, it's not tasks, but it's the impact of that task. And it's just like when we don't know what's causing maybe your stomach issues, we want to take you all the way down to the most bland diet possible, and then we can add things in intentionally and consciously to see what the effects are of those add-ins are. And if you can figure out a way to do this, like when I came down here, it It was amazing because it got really radically simple for me and almost everything was removed. And I had to just figure out like how to get access to food without leaving, like how to get connection to my team. Like our business basically blew up. Like, let's get super simple and let's focus on not just the urgent— there's a category for that— but the essential. And as you do that, then only add back in intentionally and consciously those things that have a good return on investment. And by return on investment, it's not just money, it's people's energy. And when you add those back in, maximize the return on investment by saying, let's kick the tires on this for just a minute. What are the ways that we could do this and deliver what's essential to without having to live up to standards that no longer apply or expectations that maybe will take time or prep from us? Like, how can we do this efficiently? And the body of work behind this in our work, it was in Reality-Based Leadership, the Goals, Roles, and Procedures module, is a lot of times that when things— there starts to be drama or conflict It's— and it gets really personal. It's like, well, you know, they aren't modern and they aren't— it's all this personal stuff. Whenever things get personal, what's really going on is there's ambiguity in places where leaders can help. Now, some ambiguity you have to just live with uncertainty, but anytime there's conflict or drama, I want you to look for ambiguity in what is the goal, what is the What is the role and what are the procedures? So goal, roles, and procedures. Now, the goal really is, what's the purpose of this work? At the end of the day, what is the valuable contribution that we're requiring or looking for? Like, what is the purpose of this work? That's the goal. What are we trying to create? And the goal might be, well, a slide deck with no misspellings because Doug hates that. No, that is a requirement. The goal is to provide people a snapshot, a look at where we are to goal, or where we have bottlenecks in our supply chain. Like, what's the goal? And get agreement on the goal of the work at hand, or the goal of the meeting, or the goal of, you know, when I call you, do I need approval? Do I just need you to be aware? Do I need support? Like, what is the ask? What, what are you driving for? That's the goal. Roles is a lot of that, like, not only who does what, but who has what decision-making authority. Am I the decision-maker? Am I someone who's trying to consult? Am I just to be informed? Like, a lot of drama comes out of me thinking I'm the decision-maker or that I have input into the decision when it was basically like, I'm just to be informed. Procedures— how we're gonna do the work and all the guidelines and what's tradition. And, you know, as this person said, like kind of old-school culture— that is what we can agree to once we're clear on goals and roles. Now what happens a lot of times is people aren't clear on goals and roles, and Anymore, but they stay very clear on procedures. And that's where we hang on to the remnants of the old way of working. There's tons of manuals written on procedures. There's like, you know, tutorials on if you're gonna do a quarterly review meeting, what the template needs to look like. And there's folklore, you know, don't ever let them catch you without knowing this. And there's just all this drama around procedures. Here's the key to this. Procedures should be the most flexible unless you're in safety situations or, you know, you're manufacturing something that needs to meet quality and validation criteria. Like, the procedures should be the most flexible thing. The goals need to be the clearest thing. Roles can be in the moment and then ongoing. Procedures are definitely in the moment, given the roles. and given the goals, what would be the best way to use our resources and get this work done right now? And what's happening is a lot of times people put procedures on top and then rules and goals. So without the model, I don't want to teach you that whole thing, but I'm saying here is that you got to anchor back into what is the goal, what is needed to drive the decision or to maintain the awareness or to keep people informed. What's the goal? And then given these times, how can we best make that happen? And how can we not play soccer like 5-year-olds? So you have 20 people working on something and the deck passes through 14 people for editing, so everybody's preference can trump. Like, how do you move away from that and really make this efficient and up the trust to save you the rework? And so it might be that we just come up with like what the new guidelines are, what does— what tests does it need to pass before we think it's ready? What's the new metric, the new measurement when this is good, when it meets our needs. And we want to really avoid taking what was and just making it virtual or retrofitting it. We really want to take this time to be intentional and conscious about what we bring into the new normal. And the last thing I would add to this is a— I don't even think it's an acronym, I don't think it spells anything, but I learned to check work for 4 things that came onto my plate. Can this work be eliminated? Seriously, is this essential right now? Does it really impact results, or is it just foster somebody's curiosity, right? So can this work be eliminated? Can this work be automated? Do we take what the system can produce and customize it 27 ways because because the VPs who read the information prefer it another way. Like, how can we standardize everything we can get our hands on in these circumstances? And how can we rely on not only standardized things but automated things so that we can scale and we can work virtually together? Part of working virtually will start to show how customized and how much we adapted to people's preferences when it could just be work. So can it be automated or eliminated? And another thing is, can it be delegated? Meaning instead of all of us editing a presentation, can we just delegate who's really good at this? And for now, can we just delegate it to that person and all of us agree that they represent us? And then lastly, can this be innovated? So automated, eliminated, delegated, or innovated. I want you to get really intentional about the work you're doing and making sure that we are not taking busyness and inefficiency with us to the next new normal. So I really hope that that helps you with some ideas and techniques on that question. Let's do a few more. Someone named Anonymous— we have a lot of those people, and that's That's just fine. I want you to— if you write me a question, we are not gonna out you unless you are proud of your company and you name it. So I touched on this a little bit. This person is a nurse manager on a medical floor, and they're taking care of COVID patients that aren't in the ICU. So they're either a step before or a step after. It's very difficult to go to work and be attacked by the staff. I know there's They're scared, but as a leader, I'm doing my best to make sure they have what they need for as long as I can. They're angry because we don't have the supplies which they may need, and it's out of our control. How can I support them, and how do I support them? The first thing we all need to do is really watch our own language, because the minute we call something a conflict, it is a conflict. The minute we name it a conflict, it is one. So One word I picked up, Anonymous, is I'm the nurse of the medical floor and it's difficult to go to work and be attacked by staff. And I definitely think it would be difficult to go in and get attacked. I would change your language. I, my heart hurts for staff when they talk to me about not having what they need. Like, get really neutral because by saying staff attacked me, you really created a bigger conflict than what is, and you have divided out. And separation is a lot of our stress. You've put them in another group, like staff is attacking me, and then you get into who's one up and who's one down. It just creates a whole deal. The stuff I already said about anger and fear— when people make a statement, repeat back what's true about that. And acknowledge it. I hear you, that it sounds like your major concern is not being able to double glove when we've trained you on that for years, and we're just asking you to single glove right now. And I, I hear you, that is what we're asking. It is other than what we've asked in the past, and it's not our best technique. Thank you. Tend to the person, like hear them, and then, you know, let them know that you see them. And then again, one way to redirect energy is to say, given that we're trying to conserve the amount of PPE we use, given that, what ideas do you have? Or what's one thing? Get specific, get close in. If we talk about what can I do, people are like, change the world. It's like, get specific. Close in, bring it close. What's one thing I can do in the next 20 minutes or the next, you know, half hour that would help you right now? Like, give me an assignment. What's— and as their leader, I want to show them I'm helpful, you know. And they're like, well, basically I have to deglove every time this is, you know, needs to be picked up or changed. Could you circle the 10 rooms and just get that all picked up? Absolutely, I could do that for you. Sounds good. And if I can't, then I say, well, I'm not gonna be able to do that. Here's what I could do for you. Get into working with them, and it changes the energy of them attacking you to you acknowledging the situation and getting back on the same side as them and looking at the situation together and figuring out how we are going to connect there. It's so important To get close in right now. I talked a lot about how if you want stress, go to future. So if I just focus on for today, I have healthy food, I have what I need, I'm not stressed. But if I focus on, but what's gonna happen in 2 weeks? We're on 30-day lockdown, we've got military on our beaches with machine guns, like you can't leave the, the area. It's like Oh, now I'm super stressed. But if I get close in in the present, I go, right now I'm okay. That's one technique. Get close in is also a technique when we start to think about, oh my gosh, how can I from Mexico support all the healthcare people in New York and New Orleans and Washington and where, you know, LA, wherever it's gonna hit next? Like, that's just stressful. What I can do is get close in and say, who Do I know that it might be worth a quick text to check in with and just tell them I'm thinking about them? What's one topic I could record something on? So given we don't have ideal situations, have some just rote language and then get close in. We've got 2 new admissions. Whether, what are, you know, what can I do with these 2 new admissions to help get us back on track here? Like, what can I do? And that's gonna become important because every day we're gonna have to shift how we do work. Let's say that I'm out and I come back and I've got now some immunity, we believe, to, to the virus. It's like I may be the person who's willing to take more risk intubating patients because that's such a dangerous moment when you put the tube in and, and you've just released, you know, you've given Yeah. A wonderful exit strategy to virus. It's like, you know, how can we keep shifting our work so the person who has energy in that 5 minutes can help the person who is having emotion in these 5 minutes? Like, how can we— instead of procedures, like, no, you have to do X, Y, and Z with your patient— how can we just really look at our energy, our emotional status, our situation, our supplies as a team resource, and how can we be maximizing that by borrowing and applying that throughout the group. So I hope that helps. I just— my heart goes out to you. There is not anyone in healthcare that isn't struggling right now with caring about their team, caring about the patients, and really innovating as they go. So another question from anonymous, this time in Colorado. My employee and I are the sole 2 running operations and enablement. So there's just 2 of them for a small consulting company. In these changing times, we're being asked to pivot priorities, build training tools, deliver valuable insights faster than ever, and it's feeling chaotic and unorganized. and I fear we aren't adding the most value, delivering the high quality that I expect, and we're only thinking short-term versus what's going to be sustainable in the long-term. How can I best provide guidance to my employee? How can we focus during these changing times? How can I coach up to leadership? Appreciate your insights. Longtime RBL lover. I was glad this is from Colorado, otherwise it might be from my own team that I'm asking them to do all of this. So in Colorado, I want to propose that you entertain and consider and self-reflect on the, the fact that potentially the source of your pain is that while your work has changed, you've held on to your preferred set of expectations and your preferred way of working, and you have standards that you're allegiant to that may no longer be the standards for your end consumer. So my preference is you shouldn't let me produce your video and your podcast because I had to have somebody email me and teach me how to do it. And I could just not put information out there because I have higher standards. But when I think about what people would rather have— relevant, timely information that's done organically, even if it's not pretty— Or meet my standards, you know what? I'm not serving the people when I want to impose my frame of the world. I am actually, in a weird way, being selfish because I only want to produce work that I can be proud of. That's translation for I want to produce work where I look good and my ego can confidently say that's high quality. In these times right now, we're being asked to produce things quickly, and that brings up a lot of vulnerability because we will be exposed. You can come out and anything I put out right now, you can come out and say, well, what about this? Or, you know, that was misspoken, or that was misquoted. Or— and you know what, if I'm not able to be vulnerable, it is going to drive me nuts instead of me just saying, hmm, thanks for pointing that out, that's so true, absolutely, I chose to get this out fast, and I'm seeing that in doing that I haven't gotten really good at being accurate on the fly. Wow, thank you. Good to know. You've got to really practice in just being okay with what is out there and some vulnerability. And here's how I know that you might be having your preferences seep in and you're trying to keep your preferences and ego fed with new requirements at work is I heard things like, we're being asked to do this work and it's feeling unorganized and chaotic. And what I would tell you is those are judgments, not feelings. Scared, sad, mad, glad, maybe frustrated— those are feelings. What you've stuck in there is, is feeling unorganized or chaotic. What you need to get in touch with is my preference is to have things organized in this way. My preference is to have things come in predictable ways. When you say it's feeling like this, I want you to take out the word feeling and say, I am naming it chaotic and unorganized instead of organic and virtual and evergreen and consistently changing, or whatever Whatever it is, get really neutral in your language. Then here's where the preference really came in. I fear we aren't adding the most value. According to who? Are you measuring that on what you determined to be value over the last 5 years in consulting? Those days are over. Or what your consumer is having as value? It's not that high quality that I expect, right, and so it's not meeting my standards. Is quality job one anymore? I don't know. And we're only thinking short-term versus what's going to be sustainable in the long term. And there's just— as this paragraph went on, it just started to name things. The curiosity left. There is a lot of imposing what I prefer. And it got down to we're only thinking short-term versus what's sustainable in the long term. And I'm here to tell you that even that we have to question. Because what if we can just be so nimble and so agile that we just are delivering some short-term things? And that we— what if the world's changed so much that we don't have to worry about sustainability in the long run? What if we are gonna move through the world with peak experiences and then redirection? I don't know, and I'm not giving you the answer. I'm inviting all of us— thank you, Colorado Anonymous— To— if we're gonna change the way we work, let's question everything about how we work so we don't work in new ways, but by bringing old expectations, just have chronic disappointment. See, our stress comes from wanting to work in new ways but maintaining old unsustainable expectations. And so I just would always be aware when you are exposed and vulnerable and asked to work in new ways that you don't critique, name, and judge what is too soon, and instead be willing to be in the moment with— given that it isn't organized as we used to have it and we don't have the time we traditionally had, given that What's important? What's essential? How can I move through? And I'm gonna pick away knowing that everything I decide will have a bunch of risk I probably can't fully mitigate. And that is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. There are no good decisions right now. Well, there are. A good decision is one that we know most of the risk of and we're working to mitigate it, or it aligns with our predetermined ethics. But so many of us are wanting to bring things from the old world with us into the new world, and it doesn't add value. And just when you need to travel light, you've brought a lot of baggage. And that baggage could be expectations, it could be judgment, it could be tradition and heritage and old ways of doing it. And Find ways that you can unhook from any of these things that are snagging you intellectually, snagging you energy-wise, that are hooking you ego-wise. You don't have to know the answers, folks. Just notice, see if there's a quick opportunity to unhook. That's where the braveness comes in. You move courageously forward, and that's where the team comes in. Because we've got to create safe environments that people are going to move boldly forward, and it's not going to be perfect, it's not going to be complete, it's not going to be the quality we always expected. And we're going to have to look each other in the eye and take care of each other and just say, you know what, we continue to do the best we can with what we got, and we have a big eye for improvement. And it reminds me, as I close today, with what my mom used to say Sai, you're absolutely perfect. And I would think, oh my gosh, I'm so loved by my mom. And then she would follow with, and you could use some improvement. You're perfect and you could stand some improvement. And this word and is so important right now. And if I had to rewrite this, I would say I have an employee and I, and we're running operations for an enablement for an area, and we're being asked to build quick tools. We're being asked to pivot responsibilities. And instead of my situation and how it's limiting me— it's chaotic, it's unorganized— I want to talk about my commitments to the business. And so therefore, I am working to move beyond my own preferences for quality. I'm working to deliver quickly and be involved in ever continuous improvement and letting others, you know, shape my work. And, and we're doing the best we can with what we got, and we will be open to learning more. These times call for new work. We used to proofread everything before we'd ever put it out, and a bad day at the office is when after 20 people read it We had an extra the in what we just published. We don't have any proofreaders anymore. We put it out. It only takes 1,000 of you about 3 minutes to tell us we have that. Who knew we would be outsourcing for free some of our proofreading to our organic audience? But you can only do that when you're willing to get vulnerable and everybody walk with the words, I don't know. Will you help me? Can I improve that now? What did we learn? How could we move through differently? I'm sorry, I screwed up. I didn't think of that. Right now, I want you all to practice the ability to just be vulnerable and show up and own who you are and what you don't know and where you're struggling and instead of hunkering down and trying to look perfect before you put it out there because it's your high-quality product, do the best you can with what you got. You already have high standards, and then let other people shape it up for you. And just be willing to get out of I can do it myself to how can I creatively include lots of people in the work that I have to do. I'm gonna be accountable and responsible. But if I can combine that with vulnerability, then I can be nimble and quick to adjust and ask for what I need and share how I'm feeling and all of that stuff. So we got 4 questions in. We'll divide those up and put them out there. I hope that's helpful. I will be coming back, and we have plenty more questions I'll be getting to them as I can. Send us your questions, and if some are more relevant, we'll trump them on the list and, and move them up in priority. Bottom line, you guys have heard my 2 mantras: love wins. Have big hearts, generous eyes, lots of compassion, you guys. Nobody needs more judgment right now. Everybody needs to just look at what the situation is for what it is. And get quickly to how can I help. So love wins. And evolve yourself. Evolve yourself. The small minutes matter. The moment that you just made eye contact or smiled at somebody or created space. So I don't have any answers, but I want to be with you while we think about it. It's those small things. You don't need to learn to play classical piano in a month If that's not your calling, but to evolve yourself, you need to really get to be a good student of how you yourself move through the world and the smallest little things you could do with your energy, your space, your response to people to leave people absolutely convinced that you care about them. And you guys be well. All of us are losing folks, and it's tough. Be well. Take good care of yourself. Take care of the people around you, and we'll be touching base soon. Don't forget the Facebook lives coming up Tuesday, Thursday. Check out our business Facebook page. We're trying to be there for you. We're in this together. This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your. Worldplace. I'm Sy Wakeman.