In this solo episode of the No Ego Podcast, host Sy Wakeman answers two listener questions about making meetings more effective. She argues that anyone in a meeting can be a leader by managing the room’s energy. For meeting leaders, she stresses the importance of preparation, visual tools, and a specific brainstorming method called “thinking inside the box,” which frames ideas within real‑world constraints to keep discussions focused. For participants who are not the designated leader, she offers a compassionate, non‑judgmental approach to redirecting drama: express a willingness to help, intervene neutrally when energy derails, and model constructive behavior for the actual leader. Throughout, she ties these practices to the Reality‑Based Leadership Toolkit and the No Ego book, and ends with an assignment to enter the next meeting with a plan and a visual tool.
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This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your world place. I'm Sy Wakeman. Welcome listeners to another episode of the No Ego Podcast. I'm trying to shake it up a little bit here, and in some podcasts just use my time to answer some great questions I get from fans. And I have 2 questions today I want to talk about, and they have to do with leading effective meetings or participating in effective meetings. I think all of us have sat in meetings where we either had the opportunity to facilitate or lead differently for better results, or we feel as if we're an innocent victim and we're participating in meetings that just really are struggling or Perhaps not just not going nowhere, but they're going in directions that none of us want. So I want to talk about 2 things today. They actually originate from 2 different questions. One has to do with the leader of a meeting. The second has to do with somebody who's attending the meeting. But you know what I would say is anybody who can have impact and change the energy of a meeting is a leader. So when you're sitting in meetings, don't just sit there disgruntled about not having having the discussion you want to have, or the meeting going where you want it to go, or it having the, the outcome that you're hoping to deliver, step up. Empowerment is stepping into the power you already have. And if you want to be really great at meetings, you have got to get really good at the act of facilitating and energy management. A leader manages energy away from why we can't And why we shouldn't have to, to how we could. So first question up to be answered is from Derek in British Columbia, and he writes to me, Sai, during meetings with clients or potential clients, I find that they can be a touch scattered. Sometimes I struggle to lead the meetings in a more productive and informative direction. What tips or tricks could you offer that might help create more direction and clarity for the board of directors and industry professionals that I serve? Derek, first of all, I have to say that the personal accountability that comes through in your question is fabulous. Instead of complaining to me about your clients, you're asking me, what can I do to lead amazing sessions? And you're very clear that you want the goal to be great ideas and great idea generation. So you've already conquered what I would give as my first advice: stop judging, start helping. There are clients They don't come with everything organized, otherwise they wouldn't need us. So I love that you've stopped judging your clients and you're just looking for solutions. One thing I learned pretty quickly in my career is that leaders don't manage people, they manage energy. And that's great news because most of us in today's world are consulting internally or externally. We may be working on teams where we have influence but not direct power over, so We've gotta get really good at managing the energy of the session, even though we can't manage the people in the session. So here's my best advice. Managing energy takes a plan and a tool. So if you are heading into a meeting, you've gotta do some prep work. I'm a huge advocate of plans and tools because I understand human behavior and how the ego works. What tools do— tools make our work conscious and visible. We've got to get out from behind the filter of the ego and put it out there visually on the wall for all to see so that we have an anchoring point and we can all be looking at what we're building together. Now, that changes the energy in the room because a tool is something that unites us. If we're sitting around talking and our ideas are such, they may be dividing us or we may be very scattered in how we're putting them together. But once you put a tool up on the wall and the whole group is now looking at the wall, you've changed the energy. Instead of us working with or against one another, we're all working together focused on the true issue at hand. So I want to give you a couple of tools that I think will work really well. One of my favorite tools for brainstorming is something I call thinking inside the box. Thinking inside the box is very different than thinking outside the box, and I'm wondering if your sessions don't get a bit scattered because you're trying traditional brainstorming techniques. So using traditional brainstorming techniques, I think, is what leads to your clients getting pretty scattered because they just don't have any constraints. They don't know what the rules of reality are, and my hunch is, as they come up with bigger and bigger ideas without any sense of what's capable in the next few months or in the next year, you might start to panic because you're thinking, oh my gosh, how could we execute on these things? So I have this great trick called thinking inside the box. What I do and how it works is you take that goal that you've created very clear and you put up a flip chart and you write that goal at the top as far as what we're trying to create here. And then you make a box. The goal's at the top, and on the sides of the box, you start to talk about what the constraints are, what your reality has provided for you. And it could be a timeframe, it could be resources, it could be, we have to stay within brand policy, it could be, it has to be politically sellable. It is a way for you to just put the constraints out there that we have in our current reality. Because your circumstances the reasons you can't succeed, they're the reality in which you must succeed. So you've just laid out there the circumstances and the goal, and now you ask people to think inside the box. Given that this seems to be our reality, what ideas do you have? This is so important. Now, we don't want to limit people's incredible ideas, but we do want to acknowledge and give a nod towards reality. If we say, given that, This is the reality. What are your ideas? And somebody quickly says, well, we could change that reality. If it's feasible, take it off as a constraint and move forward. So I'm really hoping that you're gonna go into your next meeting having processed your work, have a plan for what you want to be delivered by the end of the meeting, and drive your agenda not around let's talk about work that's been done or what we need to do, but around an actual deliverable. We will have completed a thinking inside the box exercise and will come up with ideas to solve for whatever that goal is. I think you'll find the sessions less scattered and more enjoyable and satisfying for everybody involved. If you liked that tool, then I have a treat for you. Check out the description below, click on the link, and that tool is now yours. The question is, if you're not the leader, but you're in these meetings filled with drama, how do you go to your manager and talk about it? I have a I have a rule that if I'm about to get in your business, I'm going to go there helping, not judging. So I've got to get compassion in my heart because so many times I'm like, oh, they allow drama. I would never do that, which is complete BS. I can find it in my heart that there are times I allow drama. And so I don't go in there to critique my manager and say, these meetings are nuts. There's so much drama, and I just wish you would do something. I don't want to go venting. I don't want to go judging. I want to go helping. So if I'm out of my business, I'm going to be a helpful person. So what I would do is I would go in and I would say, I want to let you know that I'm committed to do my part in helping our meetings be as efficient and with as little drama as possible. And I notice at times our energy, we kind of all get sidetracked and there's a lot of venting going on. And so my question is, what could I do personally to help you manage your— redirect? And the manager might not have a lot of answers, but that approach, instead of, manager, how are you going to do this? If I want to make the world different, it's like, I'll go first. And so what I might do is instead of sitting back and disengaging and dropping out and wishing my manager was a better leader, I might step in very appropriately. And when somebody is overtaking the meeting with drama, I'll raise my hand, and when it gets to me, I'll say, I want to make a try here at just moving the energy to a different place. I'm wondering, and I hear other people are concerned, but I don't have that same concern. It's working quite well for me. I'm just wondering if I could share some tips that have been helpful for me. See, anyone in that meeting who's not the leader can redirect the energy at any given time, and it may not work. Somebody may slam you. They may go, well, then you're naive, and I might try it again. I don't give up. I might just say, yeah, I would like to offer another piece of information. It sounds like people maybe don't know that you could just use F9 and cut and paste and do that into the medical record. And I just make sure that I try and hijack that energy without being aggressive and just being really neutral and really loving and nonjudgmental. And it may not work the first 10 times, but what will happen is I'm role modeling to my leader, and I'm also giving my leader something to latch onto. Because then the leader can be like, well, Sai, tell me more. And I can then do this for my leader. I can go, you know what, but don't just take my word for it. I want to pass the microphone here. I know that when Jane and I worked together just the other day, Jane, didn't you feel like that went well? And I get Jane talking about that. And then my leader goes, oh, I could ask other people. And so there's so much we can do instead of just waiting for our leader. And then I might say after a couple of times that I've proven that I'm super helpful and I'm on your side as a leader, I might say, you know what? I might have some feedback for you if you're interested. But I only want to give you that if it's on request and if it would seem like it's something helpful. By giving people permission, I've just bypassed the ego. I didn't go in— my leader already got kicked to the curb in the meeting by all the drama. I don't need to go pile on that they also suck as a leader. I can go in and go, that was a rough meeting. I'm looking at what I can do to help. And I think that just sets a good example. So in closing, folks, here's your assignment. Y'all know I give assignments. If you're going into a meeting, do not go in there as a victim. Don't go in there and see what happens. Go in there with a plan and a tool. And if you're looking for some tools, check out Reality-Based Leadership Toolkit in the link below, or in the back of that No Ego book. I give you tons of tools to make people's work conscious and intentional so that your next actions can be productive and produce the results you're looking for. This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your workplace. I'm Sy Wakeman.
