What We're Learning About Ourselves

This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your world place. I'm Sy Wakeman. Hello everyone. The first question I'm going to ask all of you is just to check in, and how are you doing, and what are you learning? This is our time together.

I have no set agenda except that I want to have contact moments where we can connect, because even though your mind is telling you you need structure and you need to change your whole life, or your whole life's falling apart, whatever your mind is telling you that you're craving, what the fix is— oh, if I just had a schedule, or if, oh, if I just was a better multitasker— whatever your mind is telling you just isn't true. The true thing we're craving is connection. where we can drop the armor and just acknowledge, like, I'm screwing this thing up, but only daily. Because no one is going to get through what we're going through today without feelings. You can get through without suffering. No one is gonna get through this perfectly. You are gonna screw this up, but only daily. Man, big introduction to your humanness and how do you need to meet that? With love and compassion for yourself, love and compassion for other folks, and an eye towards your own evolution. That— let's really make sure that we're doing this thing well. Tina is learning crisis management and leadership in a way that you couldn't have before. And Tina, I think that's such a cool thing to bring up because— I'm gonna add that comment up there so that you guys can see that. When we went through 2009 in the finance industry, and that didn't affect all of us personally on the daily, like completely disrupt our lives like it is today. When we went through that, so many people were shocked, and I had just written my first book, and it really exposed some parts of our MBA that we had skipped because all of us who came out of business school and leadership school, we knew how to lead when times were good. But a lot of us didn't know how to lead when times weren't good. And so these crises really expose that part of our leadership that we really need to build out, like the rest of that curriculum. And although it's not our favorite situation, you really can mine this time for learning. And one of the core competencies in accountability is continuous learning. And there are just some things, folks, we cannot read about it in a book. We can only learn experientially. And so So I love that that's one of your learnings, Tina. Kurt is up. He's learning that mindset matters just as much, if not more, than operations and logistics. I'm gonna refrain, Kurt, from saying to everybody, I told you so. But, you know, one of the things that we look at, of course, is the physical spreading of the virus. But what we're really starting to look at is how quickly panic can spread, fake news can spread, misinformation can spread, our own anxiety. can spread. And just as important that, like, hand hygiene, washing your hands, is, is really understanding how your mind works and how the world works. Because without that information, if you don't know how your mind works, you'll get played by your ego. And I was just on a Zoom call with a mastermind group I'm in, a bunch of other incredible thought leaders, and one of the thought leaders was talking about we're in 4 different crises. The first, of course, is the health crisis. The second is going to be, you know, the financial crisis that we're trying to address. The third is long-term going to be the debt crisis, the national debt and the world debt. The fourth one is going to be the mental health crisis that this is exposing, and not just, you know, for people that are aware of mental health You know, issues or challenges. Like, I mean, just imagine, my heart goes out to people who have lived with anxiety. I have my— one of my sons who lives with a lot of anxiety, and he sent me an Instagram meme, and it was kind of mocking the rest of us because he's like, oh yeah, people are now so concerned about going out and who can infect them and hand washing and He's like, you know, welcome to the world most of us deal with every single day, and hopefully that makes us more compassionate. So mindset really does matter. And we're getting lots of calls, which is why I'm doing these just free-to-everybody Facebook Lives and my podcast. I'm taking questions. I've pivoted the, the topic of those, but our calls are You know, we've postponed training and we're doing our best we can in logistics and operations, but Sai, we need a webinar for our staff and our team, you know, on the basics of resilience and how to, you know, stay out of stress and anxiety and get in the moment. So, Kurt, I love that that's one of your learnings. Rebecca is checking in. She's saying that she's stressed out. She's needing to reduce staff and dreading the conversation. Let's talk about that a minute. Gosh dang it. First of all, all of you, if you have feelings coming up, acknowledge them. This is tough stuff. We have people hurting. We have people, you know, dying. We have people without the tools they need. We're having to cut staff. This is Tough stuff. It's painful. Pain doesn't need to become suffering. And what happens when we're in pain or we have to do painful things is we try and shortcut. We try and get through it fast, or we try to, you know, just the facts, ma'am, or we try— Tend to the people first. Be authentic. As you put it out there, you have 2 messages. I care about you. We care about you. This is our new reality. And then ask folks, like, how can we support you now? How can we support you going forward? And people will come back with, like, mad crazy answers. Well, then don't lay me off. Well, that's not an option. I care about you. Broken record, but authentic. And I really am interested in what I could do in the next few moments or the next few days or ongoing to support you. Do you know how to apply for unemployment? Do you know how to do these things? We have a page up, or we're directing you to a page, or we want to do Facebook Lives to check in with people and, you know, care for and about you going forward. Like, having to deliver the message is you didn't create this reality. But you can't protect people from the reality. And the cleaner you can do that— that's clean pain— the better. The dirty pain comes when you sugarcoat it or avoid it or don't give good information. So clean pain is, this is what we know. And clean pain is, this is what we don't know. And here's our commitment. And now let's tend to you. And let's find ways that you can move through this skillfully as possible with all of your fears and all of your anxiety? Where can you go for help? How can you take care of you and your family? What, you know, what's the first predicament this brings up for you? So clean pain. Be willing to spend some time. You don't need to fix this. You don't need to know what to do. You don't need to have the answers. You need to deliver the pain and then not— Abandon people emotionally if at all possible. You don't have to take their emotions. You don't have to respond. You don't have to even, you know, give any quick answers. But you just have to let people know that you're willing to be in relationship. You're not willing to do their work for them. You can't do more for them than they're willing to do for themselves. This is their moment to step up. And And it's a defining moment for them to step into greatness, to prove to themselves that they are capable of far more than they ever thought about. But only if they're willing to get curious, stay open, look for the helpers, ask for help. If they shut down and toggle down, they will hurt themselves more than the actual pain. They will take themselves into suffering. And so as people make accusations back to you out of anger, it's like, well, you wouldn't understand, you're this. If it's true, agree with them. Acknowledge, yes, that's true. And then don't move into defensiveness. Move into, now how can I help you? And just be honest and caring. And if you have to set boundaries to say, here's my limit right now and today with what I can give or the time I can spend, here's what I'm going to leave you with for resources. I really encourage you to Reach out and take care of yourself. And leave them with hope, not false hope. Hope is, I believe in you. I am confident that you have more reserves than you've ever thought about, that there are more helpers than you've ever seen. And just remember to reach out, ask for help, those types of things. So all of us need to get really skilled at being with people without fixing people, especially when it's unfixable. Most of us aren't good at just empathy, just, I won't leave you. Most of us aren't good when we can't take pain away and we can't change the reality. Well, here's your practice. Let's get good at this. As an adult, you need to get good with things you can't fix so that you can be emotionally present and listening and truly in the moment with things that you can't impact, right? And as an adult, you got to get good with your relationship with uncertainty. And how's that going? How is your relationship with being uncertain? If you are able to get still and be still, even in, you know, times where things seem to be falling apart, if you can get still— I'm not talking about intellectually bypassing it. This isn't positive thinking. This isn't denying that so many people are hurting. If you can just practice for 1 minute getting still with what's uncertain, and then 2 minutes, and then 3 minutes— as an adult, you need to cultivate that relationship with uncertainty. You need to be able to be present for people that you can't fix. And, and really, this is a time to practice that stuff, just like it's a good time to practice on crisis leadership. And in fact, I was talking to somebody. I don't know if this will resonate with any of you. And, um, she's like, I'm getting so bored. She's an older person and she's like, oh my gosh, now that everything is shut down, I'm bored out of my mind. And I thought about boredom and I thought, I can honestly tell you, I don't think I've ever been bored. Why is that? Boredom is a behavior or a tantrum your ego throws when all of the distractions of the external have been taken away, and it's the last resort before you're about to get still and just be in the moment. It's the last kind of behavioral tantrum source of anger. You know, I don't have anything to distract me from what's inside, and therefore I'm gonna name this— it's called boredom, which is my dissatisfaction with not having enough things in my life to take me away from what is inside. So one of the things that's amazing in these times is that our busyness has covered up a lot. Now there's feelings around what's happening, but for a lot of you, there's feelings around what just hasn't been dealt with for you right now, that you have used busyness or maybe shopping or activity or drinking or overworking Or any escape. You've used that as a human being to not have to really experience what's going on in your inner world. And so, Rebecca, I can't fix it for you. I do know it's a tough thing. It's not our favorite to do as a leader. And you have a lot to do with how stressed out You are about this, because if you're stressed out, you might be thinking, "I know how they'll react, and I know that this will be damaging in their life, and I know that this." And here's the deal: you don't know. When I look back in my life, there were turning points, and in the moment, I thought it was the absolute worst thing that could ever happen in my life. And when I look back now, it was the most blessed thing that could ever happen in my life, big and small. I had signed on with Mars Confectionery to go to Australia for a 9-month to year-long contract, and I could take my kids to consult. And it was a year's— a whole year paid contract in Australia with my kids. It was when I was early consulting. I was just so excited. I was bringing a whole curriculum to leaders in Sydney. Dream job. I even had started to shut down my business. I had sold off some clients. I'd transferred them to other consultants. It was amazing. And one week before I was to go for good, I'd been traveling over there. One week before, they called and canceled the entire contract. So not only did I not get that contract, I had given away probably a year's worth of work. And I was the major bread earner. And I had at that time Henry was just a baby. So I had two boys that were, you know, under seven and a baby. And I remember just really being hit hard by that—that it was just game over, bonk, you know, just abandon ship. And it wasn't something great that replaced it, but it was something I was grateful for. And within about a month of me finding out that I would not be going to Australia. Unfortunately, my mom and my sister both were diagnosed with breast cancer within maybe a week or two apart from one another. I can't remember exactly. Had I been in Australia, I would have been under contract and unable to return for that 9-month period, and I would not have been able to be there in that crazy time when my sister and my mom were diagnosed with really significant breast cancer. One or two weeks apart. And so we have to be careful when we stress ourselves out because we attach to what we have to do in reporting reality is ruining somebody else's life, because we don't know that. What will hurt people is if we don't give it up straight up and if we abandon them emotionally. And so there was a time with, um, when I was consulting with Gateway 2000 that basically we're shutting everything down. And legally it was like we had a couple people left standing, and I'm like, I have to fire you, and then you have to sign back in and fire me. Like, we're turning the lights off. And I was so proud of how my team did because up until the very last day They were just amazing. And what we started to say is, we're not going to step down from greatness because the reason we're great isn't transactional, that we're great as long as things are going our way. We're great because we like who we are personally when we're great. And my last day on this job is something that will be my best interview answer for my next job. How do I know I can count on you to stay great? Well, let me tell you a story. Even as I was being fired and shutting things down, I was making sure that everything was left in incredible shape. And one of my podcasts interviews Joni Wheeler from Blue Cross Blue Shield in Nebraska, and she has this incredible story about a group that knew, I think, 2 years out that they would be closing down all services and And instead of being laid off, they just started launch services. And it wasn't just the headhunter where we're gonna come in and help you with your resume. It wasn't, you know, resettlement services. It truly was launch services. And people started to talk about their launch plans and how they were going to use this for their benefit, how they were going to get what they came for and mine this experience For, you know, to curate and really craft what's happening to them today to ensure that they do their part to ensure that they come out of this evolving. And so I just, I wish you the best, Rebecca. There is not one right way to go through this, and there is not one way that will take you through this weeks at a time. And I guarantee you, you're gonna have some real volatility. If you're not having volatility, you are not plugged in. You are like, you're in some denial mechanism. There's got to be, as a human being, some volatility. There's not one right way to do this. The way through this is to get out of the shaming and the lack of self-compassion and the all I shoulds, and find out what you truly are finding energy building and energy depleting. Notice yourself. Notice what triggers you. Notice when you lose your reserves and you're getting irritable or emotional. If you do nothing else, I just want you to make you your subject of study. We tend to move through life noticing how other people go through life. It is our time to notice how we go through life. I want you observing yourself, observing your thinking, observing your mind, observing What builds your energy, what is joyful. And when you observe something, I want you to greet that with compassion. And when you observe other people and you start judging, stop. I want you to greet that with compassion. And then in that, I want you not to tag that as an identity. Oh my gosh, I'm so emotional. It's not a— it's not a fault. Just notice that, gosh, A characteristic I have found in my spirit is this seems to be a soft spot for me. It's not your identity, it's just something you've noticed about yourself so that you can separate that out and then apply love and breath and attention. The, the quality of your life is determined by where you put your attention. It really is. And As you move through, just notice. I had a great conversation with someone this morning, and they're like, you know, I've noticed I get a little judgy. I'm like, oh my gosh, that's good to know. And, you know, she's somebody who is working hard to keep her kids safe, and she's playing by the rules. She's a rule follower. And she looks out the window, and she's seeing other parents have like little playdates. And she's like, unbelievable. And I'm, I'm like, that's good to notice how quick you are to judge. Then go underneath that and notice what's the fear around that. The fear is, if it were me, is the fear is my kid missing out, or the fear is, um, you know, me needing to, um, explain to my child that I'm making these decisions. So the fear for me is claiming an unpopular decision. I love to be liked, and especially if I have to spend the next 3 weeks inside with you, it's like, notice what is that about for you. Gosh dang, I tend to not— I'm a rule follower, and I tend to like other people to follow the rules, because if I can control that, then I don't need to claim my own choices, good or bad. And what do I need to do in this moment? Where do I need to get skilled? Oh my gosh, I need to get skilled at talking with my kids and saying, I want to claim this. I'm doing my best to get us through safely, and one of the things that is important to me is that we don't have contact with others. And then I want you to notice some more, like your own hypocrisy, because no one will get through this perfectly. What you're judging other people on, take a look at yourself so that you can breed compassion for others. Like, you may be critical of them having playdates, but have you canceled your cleaning person yet? Which is kind of a first world problem. It's like, well, wait a minute, that's an acceptable risk in my life because I really like my house getting cleaned. It's like if we are uncomfortable and we go external with it, we're in ego because we're always going to be one up, one down. The ego is doing this. The ego also does comparative suffering. I've had some comments where it's like, sigh, you're not really in this with us. You, you're isolating in Mexico. And I'm like, my response, yes, I'm isolating. I'm doing my part. I'm staying home. It's true, I'm in Mexico. Is there anything I can help you with? I don't want to get defensive to that, but at the same time, Brené Brown talks about this comparative suffering where, you know, my suffering is worse than your suffering. What if there just was room for all of our pain? Mm-hmm. Because that's a game you can never win. For right now, I am isolated looking at a beach. In a week or two, the reality in Mexico is they have 1,100 ventilators in the entire country. So while people are saying, you know, perhaps they see my suffering as not as bad as theirs today, Who knows? Like, I know one thing that we're working on, just to give people some perspective. In poverty in Mexico, there's 70% of the households in our vicinity, in Todos Santos and Pescadero, that don't have running water. And the one thing that we all know we can do to not spread the virus is wash our hands. And we have a group that their biggest need is not only food but water. And so there's a lot of groups out trying to ensure that people have the ability to wash their hands frequently. And so— and I'm not saying that so you guys go, oh, you know, poor Sai, because like I said, so far, um, it's okay. But let's not get into comparative suffering because we will always come up short Because our response to somebody else will be unloving. And when we aren't loving others, it's a reflection of not being so loving to ourselves. So, um, yeah, just notice, notice, notice, notice. And I hope you end up to a place of compassion. I screw this up with only daily doing the best I can, and other people screw this up as well. We're all doing the best we can with what we got. Everybody make their own choices. Move away from the judgment. When you're toggled up and you're, you're not down but you're up— when you're toggled up, your natural inclination after the judgment, when you're beyond ego, is, how can I help? And for a lot of us, we've had to recalibrate. Like, sitting on the couch as helping feels completely unnatural to a lot of us. And it's like How can we help? What can I do? And one of the things I'm listening to a lot— I love David Whyte's poetry. If you haven't discovered David Whyte and Chris Murray Oliver— and poetry for me gives language to things I can't always name or identify. And our temptation is to name things too soon, but if you get involved in poetry, you can just play with and kind of listen to how it resonates when it's named like this and how it resonates with its name like that. And you can just connect in with all these different edges of what the experience is like. For me, it's really soothing, and, you know, it's, it's really wonderful. And he's got some great stuff out there, and one of them is something about When Waking. He's got a tape that goes through a lot of poems, but one of the things he talks about is when you are overwhelmed, it's like, get close in. Our temptation with anxiety is not only to get into the future but to get really big. Oh my gosh, how can I save New York? What's happening in New York is horrible. He reminded me, get close in, get close in. what do I need to do in my home if I want to make sure that I can help people? Let's help the people right in front of me. Like, get close in, because that leads you to the next choice you can make that actually has some profound impact. And so if you want the world to be more peaceful, start right at home being more peaceful. So learning how to manage a team, Aaron says, while learning to work from home while 3 kids need me also. I'm gonna just put that up, Aaron. Dang, welcome to the human race. My hope is that we get a lot more tolerant of messiness in life. We really have work to do at all. And if you're like me, a big over-functioner, I've pretended— how many meetings have I pretended not to be a nursing mom who's about to leak through her shirt Sure, can you wrap up this point? 'Cause I don't wanna acknowledge I need to go pump, so I'm just gonna pretend. Like, how many of us have lived stressful compartmentalized lives? And that doesn't mean that we don't have to be accountable to deliver on and tend to the important things. But what we need to do, in my podcast that's coming out Monday, I answer a question from my friends at Kohler. About how do we keep what we need for structure, routine, and professionalism, and how do we curate out the non-important, and how do we work those edges of managing a team virtually through a crisis, working from home with probably another person working from home, whether it's your, you know, kid home from college, or if you're in a partnership, or You know, or if you're home on your own and really isolated, or if you're trying to do kids and be a teacher. And, you know, not only that, but it's like we don't have people coming into our home to support. It's like we're— I call it like Little House on the Prairie. Like, I have to go check the water in my generator in case the solar is a cloudy day. Like, I'm like, what? Not complaining, just noticing how we do this. And the first thing is Be vulnerable. We tend— remember that video where that poor little girl is coming in trying to get to her dad and her mom's like got a baby on the hip and it's like dragging her out of the room? Is there a better way to be vulnerable and to say, you know what, I'm distracted right now, I have a child, I thought I had them set up and I don't, so can you on this Zoom call do X, Y, and Z? I'm not gonna try and do both at the same time. I'm gonna be back in 5 minutes and see if I can't find another way to get this person settled. What we're trying to do is keep everything under wraps, and it's so stressful to control our external circumstances. What I want you to start doing is make choices about where to give your full attention so that you might have actual impact And meet a need of someone so that you then can come back and instead of ignoring things like in rotation, like how can you make the moments count? It will take a lot less time than you think. How can you get fully present if a child's coming in? How can you then after the moment do some coaching with that child and say, you know what? You're at an age where I can teach you how to be more self-entertaining. So we're gonna practice this. We're gonna have, I don't know, a point system. We're going to make it really cool. I'm gonna only have 45-minute meetings so that every 15 minutes, which you'll never do perfectly, I can be with you. For those of you guys that are managing teams remotely, you got to recontract with folks, otherwise you'll abandon them or micromanage them out of your fear. When people are around us, there's all kinds of unstructured ways that we're transmitting information. Just a second, I lost my earpod. There's all kinds of ways where we're transmitting information and that we don't realize. And so maybe you were a super high accountable and I didn't have to do a lot of clarifying or You know, you just read my mind when you were around. All bets are off the table right now. It's time to recontract. If you're working with a team virtually, take some time to be present with that individual team member. What have you noticed about yourself? How are you self-reflecting? You know, what are your preferences? Are you introvert? Are you extrovert? Like, for some of us, I'm not gonna lie, as an introvert, I'm noticing I'm actually connecting more with people because I have some more time and a lot more people are willing to get on social media with me. And odd, but for some of these extroverts, I— there's a couple of people I call just because I know they're extroverted, and I'm like, I figured you needed somebody to talk to by now. Like, read me out of, you know, the book. Read out loud all the book you're reading. I don't care what we need to do, but I just wanted to be with you. And it goes way beyond that. Um, With my team, like, we give each other permission. Like, in the past, I would just always trust that you know what to do, but we are moving so fast and we have huge projects going on right now, like hundreds of pages of things we're delivering right now in the legal system, like big mind-blowing stuff. And so what we've re-contracted with is we've re-contacted— don't Trust each other. Isn't that a weird contract? Trust the intent of each other. I trust that you want to do a good job and that you never would intentionally slack off, but you're human. I'm not gonna trust you. I am going to validate and be mindful, and you double-check me, I'm gonna double-check you. Don't be afraid to ask, like, whatever it is managing these virtual teams. Recontract. Do some debriefing and self-reflecting. You guys, it's been 3 days. What's working? What's not working? What helps? What doesn't help? We took how we normally meet and we just put that virtual. Anybody finding things that aren't helpful? Anybody finding things that we want to intentionally cut out? There's no one right way to go through this. If there is, I would just say consciously. The more you can get conscious, the more you can get intentional. The more you can get things visible to folks virtually, the more conscious and intentional you can be. So this is the beautiful tension between being respectful of people's times, keeping standards high, showing up. You may not have to show up in a suit and tie, but you do have to show up and turn that video camera on. Because we need to make context. So there are ways that you can decide what your new non-negotiables are in reality-based leadership philosophy and, and start working with those. And, and also, you know, mercy, grace, tolerance. You know, there's a quote— it's probably a Bible verse. I was raised Catholic, so we didn't often get right into Bible verses, but it, you know, it says, but for the grace of God go I. And today more than ever, we have to stop our judging of other people because this crisis is not only exposing our own ego preferences, it's exposing our privilege. You know, when I think about the cities and who is still crammed into subway cars, it's not some of us. It is people who are lower on the economic scale who feel like they don't have a lot of choices, who are essential workers. Like, we just have to really get compassionate and realize and notice just our privilege. I was on the phone last night with a nurse who quit her job, and she is feeling the guilt of abandoning her team and the guilt of like she should be like get a scarlet letter And be shamed in her profession. And, and how sad is that? We have— she's a single mom with little kids, and, you know, it's just sad that she feels the weight of other people's expectations. Now, a lot of this she was doing to herself, but we can't possibly know the way through this for another. Practicing and failing and succeeding and failing again. Oh my gosh. Who is just loving this part? I have a great idea. We're going to do this. That completely was a train wreck disaster, not happening. Our tolerance for failure, we're getting a lot of practice, right? And our tolerance for— I would call it unnecessary work from even essential people, you know, just A lot of you are in small businesses, and this incredible gift came out that said, you know what, we're gonna give you some temporary relief, just keep your people employed. You know, we, we've got this system in place. Let's not dismantle the system. Let's at least, if we can, keep this infrastructure in place. And so they came out with money and the applications open, and the banks didn't really have their guidelines yet. And it's just those little things where people get to experience their own tolerance of messiness. And if nothing else, guys, you got to improve your tolerance of messiness. Leaders see messiness and they don't give sympathy colluding with people. Oh yeah, this is a bunch of crap. They build people's resilience by saying, oh, this is a perfect example of Of building your own muscle of tolerance for messiness. Oh, this is perfect. Here's what we know. Here's what we don't know. How could we have impact? Leaders, you've got to step in and manage energy away from why this is screwed up and why we shouldn't have to and how bad this is, to honesty. Here's what we have right now. And let's keep our energy focused and conserved, but focused on what can we do next to move this thing forward? What do we know for sure? And people can get lost in, you know, who said what and who didn't take responsibility for what. And the leaders people are admiring right now aren't even responding to accusations coming their way, like, what are these healthcare workers doing with all these masks? They're probably selling them on the black market. Our ego—if you're a healthcare worker who is putting your mask in a little bag to be sent off in the evening to be you know sterilized by innovation UV light, good job Nebraska Med and UNMC—that's offensive, right? Your egos want to be like I just found the target for my stress. Leaders are saying. We're not putting energy into that. If there's an allegation or investigation you want to have happen, let me know. In the meantime, as for me and my people, we're going here, and we are going to keep innovating, and we are going to share this protocol with every health center we can get it shared with, and we are going to move this thing forward. And that right now, when you can't change reality, Enabling is protecting people from their direct relationship to reality, which coddles them, which robs them of the resilience they need to develop right now, which will rob them from learning that they can trust themselves. We need to teach people right now that resilience is just not about trusting your circumstances, that they're predictable and that everything will go as planned. Resilience is trusting yourself and your capability and the network of positive people that you've assembled. And if you want to know more about that, what we did on Thursday, these are up recorded on Facebook. You can go back and listen to other ones. We're gonna cut them up and put them out there so that you guys have easier ways to pass these on to your teens and your family and your friends. Thank But really just helping people manage their energy. Leaders do not step down, and being with people is not experiencing this with the same mindset they're experiencing it. It's not toggling down and colluding and sympathizing. That is not leadership. Leadership is saying, if you're willing to edit your story, if you're willing to drop your attachment to— if you're willing to not name this so soon, if you're willing to stay curious and open, if you're willing to toggle up and look for the one tiny portal of where we can have impact, come this way. And that's what we need right now, this mental health crisis. And I really think when he said that today, I'm like, that's gonna be long after we figure out the money. Money is just a construct that— I don't want to break any bubbles, it's not even real, but that's the graduate course. What we're going to be left with is restoring people's belief in themselves, belief in humanity. Like, we, we will have a lot of severed connections of people that really feel failed by their own ability to move through the world skillfully and failed by connections with us. And so this mental health crisis is going to take each of us to become leaders in the ability to help people understand that you're just believing your own thinking right now. Freedom is right on the other side of questioning your thinking and seeing reality for what it is. And reality is never as harsh as our story makes it. And reality is is pretty harsh right now, but it's not as harsh as our story makes it. So, um, Tiffany, keep failing, girlfriend. You got this. And you know what we're gonna talk about next time? I'm gonna make a note. You guys are gonna screw this up, and you are gonna yell at people around you. I guarantee you, unless you're a saint, you're gonna mess this thing up. Go Hawks! You're gonna mess this thing up. I'm gonna teach you about repair attempts and And amends. And people at times make really crappy repair attempts where they try and get back in relationship with us, but they don't apologize as perfect as we need them to. I want to teach you how to accept even crappy repair attempts. So one of the topics we'll talk about is how in these relationships do you get through them. And, um, I heard, um, one of my walks, um, that the only building block of a friendship is the ability to forgive. That a friendship is a series of, um, event forgiveness events. That like the only way you stay friends for 30 years, it's just a series of forgiveness events. And so we need to talk about that. My time is up. I'm sending you guys big, big love. I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. If you get triggered by something, notice it. Love yourself through it. Good to know. For those of you looking for where you can evolve, keep looking. For those of you that have 100 lessons right in front of your face, um, take a nap and then pick one. Be good to each other. No one's left behind. Take care of the person next to you. Love everybody. Everybody love everybody. Take care.

This is the No Ego Podcast, where we ditch the drama, end entitlement, and transform your world place. I'm Cy Wakeman.