From Nightlife King to Purpose-Driven Living | Zarak Fatah’s Transformation Story

If you're looking to go beyond diet and exercise when it comes to your metabolic health, you are in for a treat. Today I interview Zarek Fatah, and Zarek is a dear friend, an amazing human being. You're going to love our conversation. We talk about conscious communication. We talk about nervous system regulation. We talk about breath work. We talk about ayahuasca and things that you may not necessarily think of that are impacting your health in a very meaningful way. Things that you can do today, right now, to feel better and to function better, and things that you can consider that you may have been sitting on the fence about that can completely transform your life. This conversation has been amazing. It's one of my favorite conversations that I've had recently because we talk about things that impact men and women and things that are perhaps a little bit harder to measure and quantify on lab work and blood work and even things that you might be doing functionally to assess your health. We go beyond the veil. We go beyond kind of the physical realm and the physical world to explore what it looks like to heal our souls, to explore what it looks like to heal ourselves emotionally, to get rid of the pain that we've been holding on to that's holding us back like rocks in our backpack that prevent us from climbing to the highest peaks that we want to get to. So enjoy this conversation. And if you do, please remember to, like, comment and share. It's the greatest gift that you can give to somebody else to share information that helps you. And, of course, subscribe to the channel so you hear about all of our future interviews. We do these interviews for you. We bring you leaders from across the world to share their medicine with you so that you can, in turn, unleash your own medicine and create your deepest and most highest form of healing. Enjoy the interview. Zarek, my friend, how are you today?

I am doing well, thank you. Happy to be back up in Canada during the summertime.

Yeah. You know, just so everyone knows, this has been a long time in the making. We actually initiated this conversation many moons ago, and there was either something in my calendar or yours, and we couldn't make it work. However, we both know that divine timing is at play, so it's no better time than now. So I'm super stoked to have this conversation with you. You have such a diverse background, and one thing that I struggle to do is put labels on people, because I feel like labels kind of reduce us down to something that we may not be. You're a serial entrepreneur. You host, retreats you do amazing healing ceremonies and have all kinds of modalities under your tool belt. So I'm curious as to how you would define what you do and the work that you put out in the world right now.

Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that introduction. So essentially, I am committed to helping men and women really overcome any of the pain from the past, healing their trauma, resolving any of the blockages that are stopping them from stepping into their greatest potential. And I do that through life coaching, through retreats, through breath work ceremonies, and then just community events.

Right.

Getting people together to share, to grow, to heal and learn with one another. I come from a hospitality background from a very different industry. I like to say I went from night life to light life, where I used to own clubs and restaurants and music festivals and very different lifestyle, very different environment, and went through my own personal development journey of realizing that that wasn't aligned for me anymore and discovered personal development which put me on this path. And ultimately the student became the teacher. And now I'm blessed to be able to do this work, sharing with others what I've learned along my way and hoping that's helpful and valuable to them. So, yeah, yeah.

You know, I've been following your work for many years. We belong to some similar masterminds and organizations, and it's just amazing to witness the magic that you're helping people find in themselves. I'm curious, like, what was that tipping point for you or that realization where, hey, this isn't my divine path and I need to kind of shift directions?

Sure. So Eckhart Tolle references something in the New Earth called the outer purpose and the inner purpose. And for me, I would say that by age 40, I'd achieved a lot of my outer purpose, which was, you know, the professional accomplishments and success, had the cars I had, you know, the. The friends and the lifestyle and the status. And many people, they'll work very hard to achieve those goals and only to realize that it's quite empty and meaningless and it's very temporary. So by 40, I had checked a lot of those boxes and found myself feeling very bored and stagnant and just began questioning, well, what's life really about? Right. And that's when I shifted to the inquiry and the discovery of my inner purpose. And the irony about your inner purpose is it actually has nothing to do with you. It's more so about who do you get to be for others? So realizing that my journey through entrepreneurship, the ups and downs, what I've been through, my family and childhood trauma, I Realized that there was some value in what I had been through and, and that I could support other people with their own journey. So for me it was turning 40, realizing that I was kind of stuck in loops and real knowing that I had more to offer the world and just questioning what, what would look like, what could life look like if I started all over again? And that's exactly what I did. At 40, I pretty much reinvented my life, left my career, got into the retreat space, moved to Costa Rica and got onto this path.

Was there a particular event or a book or a person or like a nudge that you got from the universe?

It was, it was my 40th birthday party where I had all the reason to be happy. I had success, I had friends, I had, you know, the, the lifestyle. And I just remember this feeling of emptiness and literally surrounded by hundreds of friends. You know, you think it's a moment of celebration and joy, but there was something within me that was just like felt off and you know, by 40 I thought I'd be married with kids. I thought I'd be well on my way to financial freedom and early retirement. And it was far from that. I was single, dating, you know, women that weren't necessarily aligned with the relationship I wanted. I didn't love my career anymore. I felt very stagnant and I was financially in debt hundreds of thousands of dollars. And I just thought, I'm 40, you know, and I've got a choice to make right now. If I don't change, I'm going to wake up 10 years from now and be in the exact same place that I am now. And it was in that moment that I realized it was time for a change. And I didn't know what that looked like or what I was going to, what I was going to need to do. But thankfully to communities like Archangel, thankfully to Landmark and some other programs that I took on, it really showed me the potential of what my life could be like once I let go of those old beliefs and those old patterns.

You know, it's amazing how when the student is ready, the master or the masters or the master plan starts to reveal itself. Absolutely. What was perhaps one of the first things that you changed that others would have taken note of? Like was there something that maybe your friends started noticing a shift in you that you care to share?

Yeah. So I would say the events I started attending, going to summits, going to events that were non nightlife or entertainment related, something like Archangel or like, you know, where we're speaking this week at the Longevity Summit, you know, going to events that were more about personal growth and self development. I also stopped start. I also started traveling to different places. I started spending more time in nature. I would go out to British Columbia to go hiking. I discovered Costa Rica. I changed the way I was traveling, the environment I was in, and I changed even the community I was spending time with. And I think those two factors in itself really showed me what was potential, what. What the potential was for my life and for me to pursue.

I love that. You know, it takes a lot of courage to create changes and shifts, especially when you have, you know, the material successes and. And all the boxes checked off that we aspire to. I know growing up, like, you know, you probably checked off all of the boxes that you dreamed of. And then to come to the realization that, you know, there's a part of me that isn't happy, even though externally I have everything that I need and change can be difficult. Right. So where did you, you know, and sometimes it takes courage, sometimes it takes disgust with the situation that you're in.

Yeah.

So what gave you the courage to actually create that change and shift?

So I would say that it was two things. There's. I heard a quote once that said the definition of hell is meeting the person you could have been at the end of your life. And I knew that there is a different life available to me. I knew I had more to offer the world than selling expensive vodka and sushi. I had a belief in myself that I was destined for something greater. So that inspired me to be curious and to look at what's possible. Tapping into different communities, meeting people who were further ahead of me on their own journey, you know, through the Archangel community or some of these other, you know, masterminds. You meet people who have survived cancer or have gone to jail or who've gone, you know, completely bankrupt, and they come back wiser, stronger, richer, wealthier.

Right.

And I thought, okay, if these people can do it, I can do it as well. So being inspired by, again, community. But I would say that it was the people who were reaching out to me, asking questions about my journey, knowing that I could be of value and that there was some purpose in my. In my mess, in my message. You know, there's things I could share about my journey that were now helping other people. I realized, wow, this was fulfilling on a different level. Even though I'd created 12 companies and made millions of dollars, like, this was beyond that. This was fulfilling in a way. As I said, this was about inner purpose. Not outer purpose. So it was that calling to support and be of service to others that gave me the courage, gave me the motivation to have me step into really the unknown and, you know, wipe the slate clean, move to Costa Rica and start all over again.

Yeah, I love that. You know, we've. We've all heard of the crabs in the bucket story or analogy. I don't even know if it's true. But the idea is still there, right, where sometimes our environment can hold us back. The people in our environment, like relationships, sometimes it could be family members or, or even friends. And when we're making a lot of shifts or changes, there's all these forces that are pulling us back. It sounds like changing your environment played a big impact in that journey, making it a little bit easier and getting rid of some of the tethers. Were there other things that other tethers that you had to get rid of that could be helpful for people who are, you know, on the journey themselves or considering making a big shift in their life?

Yeah. So for, you know, my, my switch was quite drastic. Where I transitioned out of businesses, I, you know, kind of adopted a new friend group and I relocated. And I will say one thing that helped me tremendously was just spending a lot of time alone. And being alone during this transition, they actually refer to it as the hermit stage, because in that hermit stage, you don't want to hang out with your old friends. You don't have the new friends yet. You're kind of in between. And in that space of solidarity, in the stillness and the silence, a lot comes up. There's a lot to process. And there are times where you think, God, am I crazy? Should I turn around and go back? And it was just knowing that on the other side of this difficult transition, there is unlimited potential that's available there. So you have to have the courage to be able to create distance between any of the tethers, any of the triggers, any of the external elements that are going to pull you back in. And it's. It's difficult, and that's why not everybody will do it. But on the other side of that, you literally have a blank canvas to create anything you want for your life. So, you know, the advice I would share with anyone is won't. It's not forever. It doesn't last that long. And in being able to sit in the stillness on your own, there's so much growth and so much strength that comes from that. And, you know, most people are too afraid because of what comes up. But what Comes up is what needs to come out and move through you. Right. So yeah, it's, it's, it's not easy, but it is absolutely worth it.

Yeah. Have you ever, have you ever done anything like Vipassana?

So I have done a six day silent retreat at Pachamama in Costa Rica. It wasn't a full 10 day. I would love to do a full 10 day. I will admit my mind was very busy, you know, lots going on. Um, and yeah, it's something on my list to do for sure. I, I will try that at some point in time.

Yeah, it's, it's on my bucket list as well. You know, to do a 10 day silent retreat, it's like hard to even imagine. I think the, the silent part of it is potentially easy for me. However, I think the hard part is just finding 10 days where you could completely dis and have no contact with the outside world.

Right.

You know, I know in your journey you've also discovered modalities that I'm sure were super helpful for you. I know you facilitate, you know, retreats now and you incorporate these modalities. Maybe you can unpack that for us a little bit. What are some of the modalities along the way that perhaps help you? I mean, silence is a modality. Fasting could be a modality, sure. But yeah. What are some of the other things that you discovered?

Well, you touched on something that's very important and it's not necessarily a modality, but it's a choice that we make. Right. So I know a lot of your viewers and listeners, they are entrepreneurs, have businesses, families, responsibilities. Right. And it requires something from within to choose to take the time to say, I'm going to go to that retreat for a week or I'm going to go sit in silence for 10 days or whatever it is that you're committing to. Just the act of saying, I'm going to carve out time to invest into myself, to give back to myself. That on its own is a very powerful, that creates a very powerful shift within you. So when you go on a retreat, you've, you know, paid the investment to go, you've booked a flight, you're taking time off of your family and you're disconnecting and going into this experience. That itself, it allows you to really go within. And when we're in the city, you know, we might read a few chapters of a book, listen to a podcast, do a breath work or meditation, but then we're back to our reality. When you go away on a retreat for five days, seven days, 10 days, you are in a completely different environment. You're in a different state of consciousness and you're also more receptive, you're more attuned to your inner state because you don't have all the external stimuli. So just choosing to participate in a retreat, changing the environment, committing the time to go, starts to create that shift within you right now when you're on, when you're in one of these experiences. Of course, breath work is very important because it allows us to tap into that altered state of consciousness. It allows us to release any of the energetic blockages that we may be holding on to, whether it be from stress, from anxiety, from sadness, whatever there may be. Breath work is one of my staple modalities that I practice every morning. Especially, you know, coming back to the city. You know, it's a different vibration between Costa Rica to Toronto and those that live in the city that are dealing with traffic, noise, business, kids, all the things that might trigger your nervous system. Breath work is a powerful modality that you don't got to get on a plane and go to a retreat or sit in the jungle with a shaman. Breathwork is something that can be five minutes, 20 minutes, an hour, however long you choose, where it's you, your headphones, the breath, and you can really, I like to say we are our own medicine and breath work is a very powerful modality to regulate the nervous system, to help drop into a deeper meditation, to get that clarity for the intuitive insights and downloads. So breath work is definitely a staple. And for me, I'm not a great meditator. I'll be honest, my mind is just too, too busy. But after breath work, I find I could drop in and then I need to move my body. So whether it be some stretching, some ecstatic dance on my own in the backyard with my dog, or, or going for, you know, a quick 20 minute run, moving the body in first thing in the morning is super important. And one of the things I'll do is I'll be tapping on my energy centers, on my Dantians. Whether it be, you know, some qigong practices, whether it be stimulating with some tapping, I like to incorporate that as well to wake up my energy body. And yeah, I mean, obviously there's lists and lists of modalities, but those are a couple that are easy to do. It doesn't take a full hour. You don't have to have some crazy, you know, biohacking morning routine. It could just be something as simple as 5 minutes of breath work. A 10 minute movement, 5 minutes of tapping, some stretching, and you're good to go. You're primed and ready for the day.

I love that. I know you're. You're a big proponent of sound and music as a. As a modality. So maybe you can talk about that a little bit more because, you know, I think if people are listening to the radio, they may not realize that they're listening to, you know, just very toxic music.

Right.

Not only the language and the lyrics, but also the, the attunement of the music. And when you start listening to music that's tuned correctly and the message is dialed in, it really turns music into a form of medicine. So maybe you can talk about that a little bit as well. Absolutely. Sure.

So as we know, everything's energy, everything is vibration and frequency. And the music we're listening to, whether it be the lyrics and listen, I grew up in Scarborough, I spent 25 years in nightlife, so I've heard the full range of all kinds of music. And I will say that there are certain genres of music that are very low vibration. The lyrics are very negative, violent, derogatory, right? There are certain frequencies, whether it be the 808bass or certain vibrations that are very low. And when we listen to high vibration music, whether it be about lyrics, about love, joy, peace, you know, whether it be those higher vibrational frequencies in the sounds, it, those, those sound waves penetrate and resonate within our body. And this is why the premise of how sound healings work, or sound bath, those bowls, those tools, instruments emit high vibrational frequencies that penetrate our body, that help to elevate our energetic field. Now, as I. We are just, you know, energy vibrating at different frequencies. And we have our energetic field, we have our energy centers within us. And that high vibrational music, whether it be through sound healing or through the music you listen to through our own voice, singing helps to bring more coherence to the body. And a coherent body is a healthy body, right. If we're listening to negative lyrics, if we're listening to music that sounds or feels violent, that can dysregulate our nervous system and it affects our psyche. So, and again, it doesn't have to be like some hippie kumbaya music. It could be classical music. A lot of classical is the high vibrational frequencies as well, right? It could be your favorite pop songs that talk about love and romance, you know, and all of that. So it's just about finding what feels good for you. And especially in the morning when our brain is still in that theta brainwave state, when our subconscious is the most influential or the easiest to be influenced, to listen to high vibe music with positive lyrics almost acts as affirmations that we can plant those seeds into our subconscious to start our day. So yes, music is very important and I do believe that sound vibration and sound healing is going to be the future of medicine where they'll be able to treat certain diseases and illnesses like cancer with sound vibration. To change the molecular structure, to change the frequency of the cells, to bring them into coherence with the rest of the body. They are already testing it and I believe that is something that's coming in the near future. That's going to be revolutionary.

Yeah, you know, some of my most profound healing experiences have been with breath work, with sound work, with frequency work, and it's such a game changer and it's really available to all of us. I listen to a lot of South American music because of my journeys down to Costa Rica, my experiences with ayahuasca. And it's so healing, even if you don't know what the words mean, there's just some energy that emanates from the music that heals your body. It gives me goosebumps just talking about it because, you know, I'm so connected to that music and it has such a powerful influence over us. And having a 15 year old, he's turning 15 tomorrow, but you know, having a teenager who all of his friends listen to like pop music and stuff like that, it's. We're always trying to pull him back, you know, to the light versus the darkness when it comes to music. And you know, we just have a policy that if you're with me, you're not going to hear that kind of music. And I can't always control what's happening with your friends and what their parents and their families are doing. But we just absolutely try to do our best when it comes to, you know, incorporating, you know, healthy vibrations throughout our home. And it's, it's something that people have been using literally for hundreds and hundreds of years. Absolutely. And now it's a simple press of your phone, you know, away for you to have access to the. A library of amazing healing music that is really truly medicine. You know, there's lots of books that have been written about this. My friend Barry Goldstein has written books about this and he uses music as therapy for his clients. He does all the music for Joe Dispenza.

Amazing.

And the way they encode the music is, is the way they would formulate a medicine. Right. The way they would formulate a supplement. Right. There's a lot of thought and energy and. And good vibes that go into it. So there is an actual science behind it. It's not random chance that the music ends up being so healing and regenerative for people.

Right? Yeah. And to your point, it's those frequencies that penetrate us on a subconscious level, whether we're aware of it or not. We need to be very cognizant and intentional about what are we letting penetrate us. Right. Especially when you got headphones on, it's like going right into your brain.

Right.

So.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, a place where people can. Can pay attention to the music that they're being exposed to, particularly because we have a lot of people that are in the health and wellness and. And fitness space or on their fitness journey, and we might find ourselves in a gym. Right. So at the gym, the music is usually pop music. Right. And it's like whatever is on the radio is playing in the gym. And so that good place to protect ourselves is in those type of environments, especially when we're. We're in there to do good work on our bodies. We want to not just move our bodies and exercise and, you know, all that good stuff that the gym offers us, but we also want to encode it with the right information. And music's really cool because it can take us to places as well. So I Usually, when I travel, I have an anchor song. And so if I'm traveling, going on vacation with my family, I'll pick, like, one song, and I'll just make that my song for that trip. And every time I hear that song, it takes me back to that moment when I did my ayahuasca journey at Rhythmia, which I'd love to chat with you about, because I know you've done that too. There were certain songs that, when they came on, I could like, so vividly remember my journey, and just playing that music takes me there immediately. So music is very powerful and really plays a huge role in our. In our health and healing and in our journey.

Yeah. And I love that you shared that, because it's something that I do with my guests on my retreat is on their intake form. I'll ask each of them to send me three of their favorite songs, and then I'll create a combined playlist with everybody's music. And then during dinners, during the bus rides, or any time that we're all together, I play this master playlist, and everybody begins. Oh, that's my song or. And then like you said, the, the music can be that anchor that takes you back to that experience. So then when guests go home, they get the master playlist and then it allows them to relive those memories when they're home, at the gym, when they're wherever, you know, they get to listen to that music and it takes them back to that time in place. So, yeah, it's very cool that you do that also.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's. It's almost like they get to retreat themselves right, with that, that experience that they had. So they bringing the retreat home with them and, and they can just plug into it whenever they feel called to.

And I actually did that for myself when I was@Rhythmia two months ago. I created a playlist from some of the songs I heard during Ceremony and I created that playlist. I listened to it while I was there and then I listened to it afterwards because it allowed me to tune back into the experience, the emotions, how I felt as, you know, laying in those hammocks out in the beautiful, you know, law and just letting the feelings flow through me. Listening to this playlist, I'll share with you. It's a great one. I'm sure many songs on there we have in common. And you know, to your point about being intentional about music, choosing lyrics, choosing songs with lyrics that really resonate and bring up something for you is super powerful and healing and. Yeah, and then I shared that playlist with the other people in the Rhythmia WhatsApp group. But yeah, I would love to share and talk about the experience with you because, you know, you were a big inspiration and one of the reasons why I decided to go to Rhythmia, because, you know, I've known about it for probably seven or eight years now and I've been curious to go. But after you got back and what you shared about rhythmics, I know like plant medicine isn't something you do on a regular, you know, you're not like the mushrooms on the weekend party guy, you know. So when you shared about the rhythmic experience and how profound it was for you, I was like, okay, maybe it's time to revisit the opportunity. So thank you for inspiring me to go and have a truly profound, life changing week.

Oh, my pleasure, my pleasure. Anytime I can inspire you, I will be sure to, to do that. And you've inspired me in, in so many ways as well. So it's amazing to, you know, and this is what it's all about, right? Like find people who have the desire to Become the best version of yourself, immersing yourself in their energy or even their medicine. It unlocks a deeper part of our own medicine. When you're with the right people. And so when you're at rythmia, for example, everyone is there to grow. Everyone is there to break through or break free and to create an amazing life for themselves. And, you know, if you're open to it, I'd love to, I'd love for you to share what were some of your big lessons or takeaways. You don't have to get personal, but just high level. What did you walk away with?

Yes. So I would say first and foremost we touched on this earlier. I chose to take a week and then actually another 10 days. So I, I made a decision, I chose to go there and take that time for myself because as a coach, sometimes we need to take our own coaching, you know, And I had realized like, wow, it's been almost three years since I've taken any time off. And I decided rhythmia was going to be the experience that I wanted to have during that time and then give myself space for integration. And what I'll say is I really showed up with, because I had done ayahuasca 12 times prior to rythmia over the span of six years and my experience at Rhythmia, one night arrhythmia was equal to 12 nights previously. And the reason being is I showed up with very clear intention. I was very, very dialed in as to what would I love the medicine to teach me right now. What is there that I'm missing that I don't know? Because I felt like I'm on the precipice of a major upgrade and there's something I can't quite get to on my own that I would love the medicine to receive, to share with me. So I was clear on the intention. I prepared in advance by doing three combo sessions within a 10 day period. So I went with vessel clear and ready and then I did a parasite cleanse as well. And that was all to show reverence to the medicine, to the grandmother, letting them know like, hey, I'm coming wearing Sunday's best. I'm cleaning out everything I can. So I, when we, when I lay down on the mat, like I'm, I'm ready and welcoming the knowledge. So I had a lot of intention, clarity. And then I would say that some of the biggest breakthroughs for me were really just trusting the medicine to do her thing. And I was engaging, I was speaking with her the whole time. There was this Conversation, there was this flow, you know, and she really acknowledged me for all the work that I've done over the last five years, healing around my childhood with my parents, about really accepting myself, really just allowing myself to believe that I'm worthy of love, of abundance, that I am worthy of all that I desire. So it was really, she was holding up a mirror to me, acknowledging me, thanking me, congratulating me for, for all the work I've done over the recent years to get to this point. Because again, ayahuasca, first off, it's not for everybody. It's not the silver bullet, it's not the panacea that's going to give you all the answers. You have to have some level of self awareness and you have to have a process to be able to go deep within the layers, but also most importantly, to be able to integrate the experience afterwards. So I believe that the medicine will only show you what you're ready to see. And I feel that leading up to it, I had done so much work, whether it be the Hoffman process, whether it be other medicine journeys, or, you know, coaching around my relationship with my family that had me primed and ready for the medicine to show me all that she did. And I got to see, you know, future timeline. I asked her, what do I need to set up now to set up my future family and I for the next 20, 30 years. She told me it's time to start building my community. So that's something I'll share with you at a later point in time about a residential project in Costa Rica I may be getting involved with. It showed me my relationship, my children. She showed me the future timeline that's available to me if I choose it, if I keep stepping into that, if I keep leading with an open heart and really embracing the full potential of what's there. Because often we're scared of our greatness. We hold back because the greater our life, the greater stronger we become, the more responsibility we have, the more that's then put on us because we are holding ourselves to a higher standard. And the medicine showed me my highest timeline of what my life could look like. And that was beautiful because when you see it in a journey, it's not just a vision, it's a knowing, it's remembering. It is a glimpse into the future where you can feel it, you could taste it, you could smell it, and you're like, oh, wow, okay, this is what life looks like, if that's what I choose. So it was very inspiring, that sense where she was able to show me what's available to me and just how good life can be when. When I continue to do the work and stay in integrity to my values and who I'm committed to being.

Yeah, I love that. It's power. I'm getting goosebumps just. Just listening to your story because I can. I can only imagine how. How powerful that is, and especially, like, when you can experience it with all the senses.

Yes.

You know, and. And for someone who hasn't gone through this journey, it's like trying to describe the. The sunset to a blind person. I get that. But you have to trust us, right. That there's. There's magic that resides inside each and every one of us. And I love what you said. It's really about remembering who we are. And the medicine shows us what's possible for us. And I love that it acknowledged you for all the work that you're doing. Because, yeah, sometimes it's. We don't get that acknowledgement. Right? Because, like, people don't see all the things that we do. Right. They say that your character is who you are when people aren't watching. So it's hard to get praise from somebody who never sees the work that you're doing. Right. Like the breath work that you're doing, the ecstatic dance, the exercise, the going for a run, the journaling, all the thought process that you're having, the tapping, like, you're not doing that on Instagram for likes and views. Right. So the world doesn't see all that work that you're doing, but the medicine sees the work that you're doing. And to be acknowledged for that, I'm sure, was a very moving moment for you. Because we don't always get that from even the people that are closest to us, because they don't see that. Right. They don't see how we stand in integrity or how we might think something, but we immediately correct that thought. There's a lot of invisible processes that are going on, and to be recognized for those processes is really moving. Right. That in and of itself is, like, worth the trip down there, right? To. To seen. And there's. There's power in being seen and where it's. It's not something that happens on a regular basis these days. So, a, I want to thank you for sharing and acknowledge you for doing the work. You know, and it's. It's very evident, you know, when I see you, when I hang around with you, you can tell who's doing the work and who. Who isn't, just from The. Their energetic signature. So thank you. And you know, and you know it. You deserve all what life has to offer, and I want to make sure I acknowledge you for that, because I know what it takes. Right. And I know how important it is for us to do the work. And again, it's important for us to be seen and not for the acknowledgment from other people, but to know that we're on the right path, that what we're doing is leading us in the right direction. Because sometimes we might be doing things and you're just like, okay, I feel good, but is this what I should be doing? Right? And. And to get that encouragement is very powerful and reinforcing.

And. And I'm sure this is a. A metaphor you'll appreciate. It's like we don't see our own hair grow. We don't see it, but then somebody will come up to you, like, hey, you know, like, there's something different about you. I'm not quite sure what it is, but you're just feeling different, you know, I'm sure you get that comment all the time. So for one thing to also mention with the acknowledgment now, for people who haven't done ayahuasca, and they're apprehensive to it, one of the things she shared with me is the hardest part is already over. There's nothing to fear. What you've been through in your life, the pain you felt, the sadness you felt, that's over now. It's just letting go and healing. And many people are scared to sit with the medicine because they think, I don't want to relive that pain again. I don't want to see that scary moment again. So my question is, do you want to live with the energy of that experience within you because you're too afraid to be with it again and release it? Or are you willing to. So are you willing to live with that within you and deal with the fear of what that could cause because everything comes to the surface at some point in time? Or are you willing to surrender and trust that the medicine's going to show you what you need to see so you can realize, okay, it's over, and then you can let it go? Because often, many people will live with the trauma of past experiences in their body for their entire life until it surfaces in a way that you cannot ignore it, whether that be cancer, whether it be illness, you know, as we know, the body keeps a score, and many people will try to push it down and Suppress it, especially men, rather than deal with it because they don't want to feel the pain. But as the medicine told me, the hardest part is already over. Now it's just a matter of acknowledging it, seeing it for what it is, and releasing it, let it go. And the minute you do that, and again, that may come through purging, you know, that may come through crying or whatever way the energy is leaving your body. Once it's gone, it's gone. And then it's like, wow, there's this lightness there. Then, as I said, everything lights up. You know, there's this lightness, there's this space now that's being created for new energy, new potential, new experiences. Right? And, and it can seem scary to lay down on the mat, to surrender. And whether it be breath work, whether it be Reiki or, you know, any other form modality of plant medicine, the worst part has already happened. Now you just have to be willing to see it, to release it so you can heal it and move on. Yeah, I just felt that was important to share because that's what she was telling me is like, there's nothing to fear. The worst part is over. You've done great work. You know, just. Just surrender and let it go.

I love that. It's very powerful. You know, the visual that's coming up for me is as. As we're climbing a mountain, it doesn't necessarily get harder, but there's less oxygen, right? So the physical, the physical part of the journey is getting harder because the atmosphere is changing. And what makes our lives easier in those higher altitudes is carrying less weight. So many of us, you know, we're at. At sea level, we can carry around those boulders in our backpack. But if we want to elevate our consciousness and go to places where we haven't been, then those things can hinder us and hamper us from getting to the top of the mountain that we want to climb. And so you're right, the hard part's over. The experience that you've had has already happened, right? So you're not going to necessarily relive it. Instead, you're going to release it so that you don't have to keep reliving it. And this gives us all an opportunity to put new things in our backpack that serve us right. Instead of rocks, we could put food in there or an oxygen tank or whatever we need so we can fill our backpack with the right tools. So I'm curious as to, you know, from these lessons, like, what shifted for you? Like, what are Some, you know, things that you're doing perhaps a little bit differently, or how are you approaching life a little bit differently after that journey?

Yeah. So it helped me to see that I really am on the right path. I am truly fulfilling my purpose and destiny. And it gave me even more clarity around the work that I do, knowing that now that I've seen my future, timeline of what I'm working towards, knowing that I'm on that trajectory right now, and just to have patience to be present, to take it one day, one week, one month at a time, knowing that what I want is already there waiting for me. I saw it already, and I just need to stick to my values, honor my boundaries, and stay integral to what I'm committed to. And it's all there for me already. So, again, being able to see it, feel it, really experience it was very, very motivating, validating, and gave me a lot of clarity around. Around my work. So I would say I'm just feeling that much more inspired and connected to what I'm working towards. And also just having a lot of compassion and grace for myself, knowing that, you know, we said before that often we don't acknowledge our own work or other people don't see it, and sometimes us, ourselves don't see the progress that we've made, you know, that we don't even notice how far we've come. So just the reflection of the medicine showing me who I was in the past, some of my previous experiences that I need to see and let go of, and then where I am and where I'm going gave me a beautiful, like, visual of my journey and just my own acknowledgment of, like, hey, I'm proud of myself for, for what I've done. So I'd say that coming out of this, I have a deeper level of self love, self confidence and clarity around what it is that I'm here to do. And also knowing that everything I need, everything that I could possibly want to fulfill my destiny in this life is already here and available to me. And. And I'm blessed and I'm grateful. So, yeah, it's. Yeah, it's exciting times, for sure.

I love that. You know, there's a framework that Napoleon Hill talks about and I'd love to add to it. So it says, first you have to conceive, right? So the conception of what's possible and if we can see it in our mind, that we can hold it in our hand, and then the next thing is to achieve. So once we believe it, it's our goal. It's our objective then to achieve that goal and to receive it. But an important part that I think is missing from that framework is to become. The question is, who do I have to become so that when I receive these gifts, that I am the correct and rightful recipient? And it doesn't break me, but it makes me. And then you have these tools and resources that are available to you for you to unlock your fullest potential. And I know that you're here not to just make yourself the best version of you, but I love the work that you're doing because you're trying to help unlock the best version of each of the clients that you work with. Right. Whether it's one on one in the coaching that you do, whether it's in the seminars and presentations that you do or the private mentorship and coaching that you provide for your groups of people and the retreats. Like you're, you're here to unleash other people's medicine. And it starts by, you know, kind of unleashing our own medicine and being a, you know, you know, really a role model for others. Right. Showing people what is possible. Yeah. And I love your. The arc of your story because I'm sure, you know, 20, 30 years ago, where you are now, there could have been a very different path for you. Right. So you had that awakening at, at 40, which I feel like is essential. Right. I think at 40, at certain points in our life, we should all question, like, okay, what am I doing? Where am I going and why am I doing this? And I'm so grateful that you had that epiphany to, you know, kind of evaluate your life and, and find the correct path for you. And I'm also curious as to like, the people who are at the party with you. Right. They were probably, many of them were probably around that same age. I'm curious what percentage of them, you know, found that enlightenment to kind of change courses and what percentage of them stayed in the. Right. In that same trajectory they were going and what their quality of life is like now. You know, and this isn't to judge others because I think everyone's on their own journey and their own timeline. But yeah, I'm curious as to like, you know, just is 80, 20, is it like 1% of people that have this, have this epiphany? What are your thoughts?

So, yeah, when it comes to an actual percentage, you know, that's, that's really hard to gauge because, you know, it's when I changed my life and I Changed my friend group. I really lost contact with a lot of people, especially moving to Costa Rica, Right. And what I will say is a lot of people had thought I'd kind of lost my mind when I started selling off everything, got out of the business that was in, and then moved to Costa Rica. A lot of people just thought, you know, I, like, maybe drank too much ayahuasca, flipped my lid and moved to the jungle to become a shaman. But it was during the pandemic, when people were stuck at home, when people were then dealing with their own mental health challenges, when they were realizing they didn't love their life, they didn't love their job, some didn't love their wife or their partner, you know, and they realized, oh, I gotta figure this one out. I would say the pandemic definitely was the catalyst and the trigger for many people's awakening. Let's say now, some people, they numb themselves with alcohol, cannabis, whatever vices they had. But some people said, hey, you know what? I'm gonna use these next four, five, six, eight months, however long it is, to invest in myself. And that's when I started getting calls. That's why I started getting messages from people saying, hey, I remember you posted this book. Or, hey, you went on that retreat, or what was that thing you shared about? You know, like. So now people started reaching out to me because, as you said, we have the choice to lead by example. We have the choice to be the proof of what the work looks like. And because I had started in, you know, 2016, I believe, 2014, I was already a few years into it when pandemic hit. So more so now when I come back to Toronto, people want to talk to me about my retreats, about my coaching. They get it now. Whereas before they judged me and thought I was crazy, now they understand me. And I would say they even admire me because I was willing to give it all up to start this journey 10 years ago, right? So it's beautiful to see that people are now coming around to it. Obviously, coaching retreats, breath work, modalities, plant medicine are now more popular than ever before. And I think it's a beautiful thing. I think, you know, a big percentage of the population will stay unconscious. They're going to stay in their patterns and in their loops until they have some sort of disruptive experience in their life. Maybe health condition, maybe it's marriage, failing, business going under. Some disruptive event is going to cause them to question, is this the life that I truly want? Is this what really makes me happy? And then they'll have an opportunity to discover what's new. I would say the other percentage of the people, whatever that may be, maybe it's 60, 40, maybe 70, 30. I don't know, maybe that other 30, 40% are sensing what I did at my 40th birthday, which is, there's got to be more to life than this. This can't just be it, you know? And I think there is a global awakening happening. I think human consciousness is elevating on a mass scale, and it's not by coincidence. I believe we are the generation that chose to be born at this time, which is a pivotal moment in human history, where we have been given the tools to elevate our consciousness. Consciousness. To dive deeper into spirituality, to really change the trajectory of the human species and create a new paradigm of what it means to be a sovereign human on this planet. And, I mean, that could be a whole other podcast in itself. I will just end this by saying, I don't know what the percentage is, but it's looking good. I think Team Humanity is on a good path, and you and I are doing the work to lead by example, to embody what it means to do the work, and showing people like this is what life could look like when you stay true to who you are and you wake up every day asking, how can I go to bed? A better human being.

Right. I love that. I love that. It's really. You know, the message that I received loud and clear in my journey was, remember who you are.

Yes.

And, you know, that's available to all of us. Right. A lot of times people think we have to change, and change can seem painful, but when we remember who we are, then it's more of an inward journey, and. And then it starts reflecting in our. In our outer world. You know that you mentioned a couple things, and I want to unpack them a little bit if you have a few more minutes. Sure.

Yep.

One is, you know, conscious communication. And I know the pandemic was very challenging for a lot of couples because now they were in the same house 24 7, essentially. And many people, like, you know, that separation that happens during the day for work kept them apart enough that they didn't get on each other's nerves or. Right. Yeah. And then when they were confined to a room together or a house together, that's when, you know, things can, you know, stuff.

Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.

You gotta.

Right. Yeah.

And, you know, and I think you and I are on the same page about this. There's no Bad people, but there's bad communication.

Yes.

And sometimes people don't know how to express themselves. Sometimes people don't know, you know, what, you know, how to speak their truth, so to speak. And maybe they know how to speak their truth, but not in a way that's conscious, that can be well received or received by the other party. So maybe we can, we can talk about conscious communication a little bit. I think that's like a huge, very, very potent modality for people.

100. So one of the top reasons why marriages and relationships fail is due to communication issues. Okay, I can vouch for that personally because I grew up with two parents who did not know how to speak to one another. So they could start a conversation about what color the sky is, and then they'll end up arguing about, you know, something completely irrelevant. And they just didn't know how to express themselves in a way where they both felt seen and heard and understood. So I grew up in a home where communication was very suppressed and often it turned into conflict. So for me, I became shut down and didn't know how to speak my truth and express what I needed. So, as you said, many people stuck at home during the pandemic, issues start coming up and now they don't know how to express themselves and let them know what's bothering them. So, you know, often when someone says something that triggers us, it's not actually what they said in that moment, it's what it's bringing up within us that we haven't resolved. So with conscious communication, what's really important is first off, you and your partner being willing to adopt and implement a new style of communicating that is not you or me versus you, it's us versus the problem. Because anytime there's a conflict, there's three sides of the story. There's yours, there's mine, and the truth in the middle. Now you believe you're fully entitled to believe your truth, and your truth is real for you, and it is, and I feel the same. But there's also a piece of information that both of us are missing, that once we discover it, it changes the context of the conversation and we now understand one another. You don't have to agree with one another, but if you can understand one another, you can co create from that place. But when people are so triggered, they're so caught up in their wounds, they're so caught up in their emotions that they're reactive, they are emotionally reactive. They are not consciously responding. And the difference between that is, with conscious communication, first and foremost, Set and setting is super important. If somebody says something that triggers you and you're feeling that emotional charge, well, right then may not be the best time to emotionally react. Right there. It might be a good time to notice, okay, I'm feeling really triggered right now. I feel these emotions coming up. I need to take a few breaths and I'm going to revisit this when I've had a chance to process. Why am I feeling triggered right now? Because again, what may be triggering me may not be what that person said, it's what it's bringing up. So let me sit with my feelings and take ownership of that and then re engage with the person when I've had a chance to process what I'm feeling so that I'm not bringing a past experience into this conversation. So sentence setting looks like engaging with the person saying, hey, session, there's something I want to talk to you about that's quite important. Do you have time next week either on Wednesday or Thursday for, you know, a 20 minute coffee? I'd love to share something with you. And the person might say, oh, what's going on? What do you want to talk about? About? I say, you know, I don't want to get into it just yet, but, you know, there's something I want clarity on and it would really be, you know, important to me if we could just sit down and, you know, have a conversation about this. Now the person knows I have something important to say, you know, that. Okay, let's pick a time that's convenient. So now we're sitting down, we're both feeling neutral, we're feeling grounded, and now we can begin a conversation. Now, a big part of this is recognizing why you're triggered, taking ownership of that, understanding that I'm feeling this way and sharing that, saying, hey, I want to share with you that I'm feeling a bit. I'm maybe feeling a bit disrespected because of whatever it may be. So conscious communication is essentially a framework, a set of tools that involve both verbal, physical, energetic that you can use to have conversations where you can express yourself authentically, you can express yourself from an empowered place, and most importantly, you create a win, win situation together. A good conversation is more like a flow. It's more like a dance. A bad conversation or a conversation that doesn't end well is typically more like a boxing match. Two people come out of the corner, they're swinging with their, they're jabbing, they're swinging, they're ducking with their opinions, with their facts. With their accusations and they're putting the other person on the ropes. So conscious communication allows you to create a container for a conversation where both people feel seen, heard, and understood and can co. Create an amicable resolution out of that. I know there's a lot of information. I could talk about conscious communication for hours because it's something that I'm very passionate about because it's changed my life and my relationships. And I will actually be releasing my first conscious communication mini course course in September. So if anybody's interested in learning more, that'll be available to them.

Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's amazing. You know, I. Communication is so important for us as clinicians, as healers, as couples, as parents. You know, it's something that, you know, we need to pay very close attention to because I believe that it's our ability to communicate and articulate that separates us from all the other animals. Right. They have their own ways of communicating important messages to one another, like the trees and the insects and, and other animals do. But we have something so special about being. There's something so special about being human. There's a part of our brain and our nervous system and our, in our, you know, our bodies that are so attuned to communication and we don't get that anywhere. Right. A lot of times people don't know or learn how to communicate until they have a problem. Yeah. And then they're in therapy or then they're in the hospital. And then there's something that's going on that's creating a big challenge for them, and then they've got to take a crash course in communication. But, you know, if you don't have a challenge in your life right now, becoming a better communicator is a very important skill set to develop. And if you are having a challenge in your life, then this is probably one of the first places to look because it can help you resolve issues really, really quickly. And I love what you said. It's not me versus you, it's us versus the problem. Because that really takes, you know, the, the personal, you know, component out of the equation and it makes it more about the problem versus the individual. And if watching this, you learn nothing else, I mean, that's such a huge takeaway for people to walk away with and apply immediately into their lives.

Yeah. And then you're both working towards something as, hey, I'm, I'm next to you. I'm not, not you in front of me. It's, I'm next to you. You're next to me. And we're working on this disagreement, we're working on this situation where we have different opinions. We're working on that together. And, you know, just a couple of things to say before we wrap this up. One, our words create our world. So we speak things into existence, which is unique about us as humans. So we have to be so conscious and intentional about the words that we use to describe ourselves. The, the tonality, the energy that we speak things into existence is, is really, really key. And again, that all comes from the emotion, the state that we are sharing from. And we talked about healing before. We talked about breath work, we talked about plant medicine, we talked about different modalities. Communication and self expression is one of the most powerful ways to heal and remove blocked energy. Because when we feel guilt, when we feel shame, when we have resentment towards someone we have not expressed, saying, I'm sorry, please forgive me, we have not expressed, hey, you upset me. I want to talk about this. We have those emotions. And this is for all the men out there. We have past experiences and emotional energy that's stuck within our body because we haven't expressed it. A lot of men won't say, hey, you know, I'm feeling a little insecure right now, or, or, hey, I'm feeling like, you know, I need more, more affection from you, or hey, you pissed me off, you know, we won't say those things because we don't want to seem weak. We don't want to seem like we're needy. And this is where women can really help a man feel safe to open up and not feel like, oh, like I'm some wimp if I talk about my emotions. Because as men, especially our age, we are conditioned to believe that self expression and vulnerability equals weakness. However, when a woman can ask her partner how he's feeling and hold space for him and receive what he's saying with love and care and compassion, a man then feels safe to open up and share. And men need to share. They need to express themselves, they need to release those emotions, because if they don't, it comes out in very toxic, harmful ways. So communication is a very powerful form of medicine in itself. But we're not taught the tools. We don't. We're not taught, growing up how to express ourselves, how to share authentically, and how to hold space for one another. Because, you know, 50% of communication is being a good listener, right? So it goes beyond being able to be expressive. It's also, can you hold space and can you listen to a person and Receive them in a way that they feel comfortable to open up. Right. So yes, so many layers to communication, but it is, it is absolutely key in all aspects, in all relationships in our life. Life.

Yeah. And speaking of layers, there's so many layers to you. So we're gonna have to unpack this in another interview because I know there's so many aspects that you could speak deeply into. Right. Each of these topics could be an hour long conversation and I want to honor your, your schedule.

Thank you.

But I also want people to know how they can learn more about you, where they can follow you, what's a great way for them to connect with you. So if you could share that, that'd be great.

Yeah, yeah. I would love to hear from any of your viewers and listeners. My website is zaraqfatah.com my Instagram same. You can check out my website there. I have my events and retreats and workshops listed there. If you're curious to know about any of my coaching programs, I do work primarily with men in the group coaching and one on one format. However, my retreats, some are for men and women. I have workshops coming up in Toronto. I'm launching a dinner series for men in multiple cities around the world as well, providing men with a safe space to open up and share. So yeah, if you want to learn more about me and what I do, please check out the website. And the Conscious communication mini course will be launching in September as well. So that's, it's like an organic plug that I threw in there.

Amazing, brother. Well, keep up the great work. Keep doing the work on yourself. The world needs it, as you and I know more than ever. Your future self needs it as well. And the world that we're all trying to co create, one that is filled with health, wholeness and happiness for men, women, children, our ancestors, our future generations. We're doing the work to honor all of them. And I want to honor you for doing the work. Appreciate you, you, lots of love my friend and have a wonderful rest of your day. Thanks for joining us today.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you.