Zarak Fatah | Unlock Your Full Potential Through Life Coaching With This Transformational Expert

Hello and welcome to the Rare Agent, where we pull back the curtain on all things real estate. We're your hosts, Christina, Mary Jo and Mire, offering up a judgment free zone for collaboration over competition. We would love to welcome today's special guest, a life coach, a serial entrepreneur, and the founder of the alive life, a dear friend to my co host, Mireille Zarek Fatah, who has become a leader in the holistic lifestyle community. Thank you for coming on the show.

Thank you for having me.

Amazing. I'm very excited to have you. It's a switch up from who we usually have on the podcast. We've had a lot of realtors in the past, so I'm very excited to have you on.

So you.

We now know that you focus on life coaching and the alive life. However, how did you get into this world? Like, what is your previous.

How did you start as an entrepreneur?

Yeah. So I've been an entrepreneur pretty much since the age of 18. I dropped out of high school at 17. After getting kicked out of three different high schools, I just decided it was time to hit the real world.

I wouldn't have. I would not have guessed that at all.

And I'm from Scarborough. High school dropout from Scarborough. So there you go. I found nightlife at a young age, at the age of 18, discovered the bright lights of the big city and got involved in nightlife at a pretty early age and just found like, that's where I belonged. I never really felt like I fit in in Scarborough. So once I got into nightlife, I really enjoyed the music, the atmosphere, the socializing, the beautiful women. And nightlife for me is just where I really excelled. I'm a people person. I'm also very creative. So working in nightlife, I worked my way up from being a dancer to a bartender to a promoter to a manager, and eventually opening my own venues. In 2003, I opened Blowfish Restaurant on King Street. And then 2004, I opened up Century Room. 2005, I opened up Homom Spa. And then it was business after business. Over 15 years, I opened 12 different companies in the nightlife and hospitality space. But then you also had sp, hair salon, music festival, even health supplements. So I, you know, kind of found what I loved super passionate about. It just went all in and created quite entertainment, hospitality I was calling an empire. But we had, you know, in total, eight companies operating at one time with 300 employees. We were doing over 14 million a year in sales. And. And it was a very fun life. It provided me with a lot of freedom, abundance, amazing opportunities. And yeah, then. Then things shifted for me in around my 40th birthday, which I'm sure we'll get into next.

Yeah, well, that sounds impressive and amazing. What would you say was one of your attributes to make you such an excess successful entrepreneur?

I would say ignorance was not just a bliss, it was a blessing. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do what I did. Like, I grew up, very little guidance from my parents, I didn't listen to my teachers, so I just kind of went out there and worked and I just followed my intuition and I followed my passion. Most importantly, you know, if I had an idea of something intrigued me, I just dove in. You know, I just gave it 100 and experimented and tried it out to see if I liked it. And if I did, I stuck with it. If not, I moved on to the next thing. Yeah.

So.

So knowing you from a pretty young age, I would say from my experience, you always had a lot of drive, and you're extremely, extremely stubborn. So I would say it started that way.

I like to use the word persistent.

Persistent.

Ye.

We'll go with persistence.

Yeah. So growing up in Scarborough and getting a taste of what downtown life could be like, I. I aspired to have those things. And my parents couldn't provide me with the resources, so I learned to work hard, make money, and buy the things I wanted. So for me, as I got older, my taste became more and more lavish. So I knew if I wanted a Porsche or if I wanted to fly business class, I had to work harder to get it. And I have no problem working hard, especially when I love what I do. And because I really enjoy people, I love creating experiences. I love people, seeing have. Seeing people have fun and eat a good meal. I was just very passionate about what it is that my company's offered. And I would say I was just really led by passion and just the desire to help people enjoy their lives.

And when did you, like, what was the feeling that made you realize it was time to pivot?

Yeah. So as I mentioned, you know, I lived a great life of traveling, really doing a lot of stuff I feel a single man would kind of want in life. And then it was in around my 40th birthday where I realized, like, even though I've lived a great life and I've had many amazing experiences, I knew there were things missing in my life that that current version of me didn't know how to get. Like, whether it be finding my life partner, transitioning into a more fulfilling career, or just having more financial stability. I knew that what I was doing wasn't producing those results. So, you know, as Einstein says, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. Experience and expecting a different outcome. I knew I needed to make a change, but I didn't know what that change was. And there's this amazing woman named Ray who bought me a birthday gift for my 40th birthday, which was the Landmark Forum. And that for me was my first, I would say, real personal development experience that had me see my life in a different way. I had done Tony Robbins a couple years before that. Unleash the Power within, which was great. It was very informational. But Landmark was the experience that had me just understand why I needed to drive a fancy car and how the bullying and the racism and not feeling like I fit in really shaped the adult I had become. So once I got to see my life from a different perspective and realized, like, oh, that's why I keep repeating these patterns over and over again. That's why I'm spending money. I think it's Will Smith that says I spent money, didn't have to buy things I didn't need to impress people I didn't like. I was just doing that over and over and over again.

Very common.

Yeah, for sure. And then I was also repeating patterns in relationships. So I knew, like, okay, if I don't want to be that creepy single 50 year old guy in a nightclub, I got to make some changes. And that's where it really came from. Knowing that even though I had been very successful and achieved a lot, I just knew that there was this next level of life, enjoyment, fulfillment, love that I could experience. And that current version of me didn't know how to access it. So I dove in. After Landmark, I was like, okay. I got a glimpse of this guy inside me that's been kind of suppressed for a long time, who you knew a long time ago, who I lost somewhere along the way. And I got to reconnect with that guy. I'm like, he's kind of fun. I want to get to know him better. So then I started going retreats. I started hiring coaches. I started. I just, like I said, if I like something, I kind of go all in. So I really, really dove in deep into that and it opened up a whole new world for me. Met an amazing community. I met people who were on the other side of my journey. You know, I'm sure a lot of people listening to this podcast right now are going through their own transition of maybe they don't love their body or they don't love their care, they don't love their relationship, and they want to make that change, but they don't quite know how. And until we realize that there's a different version of us that we need to evolve into, we're just going to keep repeating the same patterns over and over again. And for me, that was a non negotiable. I just, I knew, like, that's not going to happen. So I dove deep into the world of personal development and thankfully had so many great mentors and teachers and coaches to guide me through the process. And that's really what helped me to ultimately discover what would be next for me.

I would just like to share that I've actually gifted that to a few other people. And the difference is you really did something with it. Like, you actually dove right into it. You're very open to it. And I was kind of surprised and really impressed by how you managed that and you became a leader and you just took it to another. You actually surpassed where I went with it. And, you know, I was very impressed with how you, um, you kind of attracted all the things that you did, which does speak to your intuition. That's the one thing I've noticed. You've always had a really good intuition. And we've been fortunate that we've kind of guided each other in many different ways over the last 20 years. So it's been a pleasure just watching your journey and just seeing everything that you do and all the people that you are helping. But it couldn't have been easy because your life was really based around the superficial and a lot of people in your life expected you to be a certain way. So you made a major shift. And I mean, I know that you got a lot of slack, I guess, or like a lot of people kind of looking at you like, what are you really doing? Right. So how did you manage that? I know that would be a really tough thing.

Yeah. And I think that for a lot of people who want to make a significant change in their life, whether they want to move to a new city, they want to change their career, they want to end a relationship, there's this part of them, their identity, that's holding on to the comfort of that way of being. And even though they don't want to be that person and they're not even happy doing those things anymore, they just can't imagine not doing that. That's why often when like a CEO or owner of a company sells their business they almost go into a state of depression because they don't know who they are anymore. And for me, I did go through a stage where it was like I was really confused as to where did I fit in, because my old friends from nightlife were confused as to what I was doing. I wasn't really firmly rooted into this new world of personal development and coaching. So I was kind of in this limbo state. And for me, I just knew that A lot of people say it takes so much courage to make the change that you did. It would have taken more courage and more strength to stay in that old way than to not make a change. And I forget who says the quote, but it's something about, you know, the rosebud. Until the pressure is great enough, it won't bloom, right? And for me, it was really. I was so sick and tired of my own that it was like, okay, I gotta do something. And. And it's like you open the box.

And you couldn't close it.

Absolutely, yeah.

Explored this. You were exploring this life, and you just couldn't. You couldn't.

You couldn't stop, for sure. Because once you get a glimpse of what it feels like to be truly authentic and what it feels like to not have to put up that facade anymore, once you get to experiences how good it feels to just be the real you, you don't want to go back. And what really gave me the. I would say the inspiration and the motivation to dive deeper is people then started coming to me asking me, hey, like, what books are you reading? Or, what was that retreat you went on? Or, you know, like, what. What. What are you doing? That's like helping you to make this shift. Because, as you know, I never. I wasn't very vocal about my life or my challenges. You know, like, most people on Instagram, they. They promote the top 1% of their life, and that's all they let the world see. But because of Landmark and the coaching I was receiving, it taught me about vulnerability. It taught me about not being afraid to share your truth and not being afraid to ask for help and let people know, like, yeah, you know what? I'm struggling right now. I'm going through a tough time. And in doing so, people reached out to me, sharing either support or sharing that they were also going through something. So then I saw that, you know, my pain has a purpose, and this path that I'm on is now able to inspire other people to also question, what are they here for? And. And what life do they really want to create for themselves? And you know, that all naturally evolved into what is now the alive life where you know, there came a point where I knew like, okay, I can't go to my club anymore, I don't want to be in my restaurant anymore. I just knew this is my, my days were numbered. So I started asking myself, well, okay, if I wasn't going to do this anymore, what would that be? And you know, being a high school dropout who was in nightlife and entertainment for 25 years, my own self limiting beliefs were like, well, this is kind of all I'm good at. Like what could I possibly do next? I thought, well, you know, I love travel. I'm really good at it. I've been to over 60 countries, I love great food, I love adventure, I love learning, I love personal development, I love meeting like minded people, I love sharing this work. I want more people to know it's available. So I thought, how could I take all of what I love and actually turn that into a career? And because of my event planning background and having traveled to so many countries, I, I knew that I could host a retreat and it would be good because I knew all the elements that it took to create an experience. It's funny, there's a lot of parallels between throwing a great party and hosting a retreat. Instead of booking a venue, I'm booking a villa. Instead of booking a dj, I'm booking a yoga instructor. And that's actually, I'm proud to say, where the two of you got to connect.

Marie introduced me to you and we were part of one of your first alive experiences.

Yes.

And that's the second one.

Second one, yeah. So it's amazing to see how you've evolved since then because that was about maybe five. Five years ago.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah, five years ago. Around this time. Yeah, November.

That's kind of where.

Wow. It's like almost exactly.

That's it. That's by the time this airs it'll probably. Yeah, there we go.

And you're welcome. And we can attest to that because I had done a few retreats before yours and that was the thing that I noticed was different was it was you combined lifestyle and adventure as, as well as like yoga and wellness and meditation and, and it was different types of meditation. It wasn't like the typical. The food was really good, the villa was beautiful. It was my kind of retreat.

Yeah. And that's why I knew like the retreats I would host would be sort of a bridge for people who are coming from more. Call it the unconscious commercial world. Who are curious about elevating and deepening their personal development, spirituality, and wanting to be a part of something that's not too w. Because a lot of people think of retreats. I think of, okay, so it's going to be some long haired hippie having us do yoga and chanting in the jungle.

That's kind of what I thought it was going to be.

And that's what a lot of people think.

I was surprised. Like, I was pleasantly surprised. I was like, you know what this is, this is, this is nice.

There are fitness retreats, there are yoga retreats, breathwork retreats, you know, and for me it was like, how do I bring together elements of personal development, human connection, wellness and adventure. And you know, we stayed a beautiful, you know, multimillion dollar villa. We had a great chef, you know, we did fun things, went up for great dinners before we.

That was my first experience doing the.

The ATV.

ATVs.

Yeah, we almost remember our faces were.

All black except for like our mouth.

It was so dusty.

I don't do the quads anymore. Too risky. But, but point being was I wanted to bring together the elements of lifestyle and entertainment with a natural, holistic experience in the jungle. And that's the first time I hosted my retreat in March 2018. I just knew, like, this is what I want to do. Like, I could feel the shift happening in people. I could see. I could literally witness human transformation happening in front of me. And I'm like, this is what I want to do. And it was on that first retreat that I decided to close Blowfish. So I closed my restaurant after 15 years after that retreat, and then hosted nine more retreats after that. And then in Bali, in Tofino, Whistler, Muskoka, and of course Costa Rica. And then when Covid hit, I had already begun my professional coach training program at that time. And when Covid hit, I knew, okay, well, won't be any retreats for a little while. So that's when I made the pivot to full time coaching. And that's where the alive experience diversified into the alive life. Which is. Which is now coaching one on one group coaching program. Still. I do host a couple of retreats a year, but really now my main focus is private coaching.

What is Alpha coaching?

Yeah, so when I first started coaching, I was working with men and women. But about a year into that, I decided to make a pivot to work just with men. So the Alpha Alive private coaching program is a coaching program that I've designed specifically for men. I like to say these are guys who are financially abundant, spiritually bankrupt. And what I mean by that is they're just living a life that's unbalanced. They're not connected to themselves, so they're not taking time in the morning to just feel into their body.

How do you relate to these men as they're coming into your program?

Yes. So what I would say is that the Alpha Alive coaching program is a program I needed when I turned 40 and I didn't know who I was anymore. When I didn't know who I was anymore. And I knew that I needed something, but I didn't know what that was. So the Alpha Alive program is designed for the man who's successful, he's abundant, life is good, but he doesn't want just good. He wants freaking spectacular.

So you created a program that wasn't available to you?

No, but what I did was I kind of cherry picked the most impactful lessons and modalities and exercises that I've experienced over the last nine years and created a program designed for men. So the Alpha Alive program is what I've been running for the last, I would say almost two years now. And it's been really, really successful. Like the men I work with, I love to say, like, I help men be better fathers and better husbands and their wives will attest to it. Like, nothing feels better than when I get a text message from their wife saying, like, in the 15 years I've known my husband, I've never felt more at peace and calm and appreciated by him, you know, So I know that what I'm doing is really working because unfortunately, a lot of men that don't feel safe to open up and share, you know, they, they especially successful men. A lot of men who are very successful are actually driven by their pain from the past. You know, that hurt little boy inside of him who still needs a validation, who still needs to feel good enough, will keep working, will keep hustling and grinding, making tons of money, hoping that one day he'll feel better. But until he makes peace with that little boy inside, it's never going to happen. So, yeah, never enough for the. Yeah, it's, it's a deep journey taking them back into their childhood to help them to really reveal, feel and release what they've been going through. But, but it works and it's a beautiful.

Men don't really have the ability to be vulnerable on a general basis. I would say, like, well, I've heard.

Many times like, boys don't cry or, you know, suck it up.

Yeah, yeah, like, there's a huge movement right now, and I think that men are becoming a lot more aware and a lot more connected to what's missing inside and who they really are ins. And society is kind of opening its eyes to the fact that this has been. Men have been oppressed emotionally. And I think it's so helpful that someone like you, who was in the nightlife industry, who had what a lot of men potentially would want and that you've pivoted in this way, is a really good example for other men that, you know, this is a true man. A true man is able to have vulnerability, is able to seek what he needs, is able to, like, focus on him on the inside. It's not always outward validate and satisfaction. Right. That it comes from the inside, but.

Also still be strong and hold that frame, be clear and be sensitive and emotional and most importantly, connected to his own emotions. And as you know, like, I was emotionally numb for most of my life because I wouldn't let myself feel the pain, the anger, the sadness. And I think a lot of men go through life like that as a result, because of what they're conditioned to believe growing up, that men can't be that way. And I will say that definitely men are now more open to this work, especially the younger guys. I have guys that are in their 20s and early 30s who are realizing, like, look, if I want to be the best version of myself in every way possible, I need a coach. Like, the stigma of having a coach, I think has shifted into a funny story when. When Murray first asked me if. If I would ever work with a coach or a therapist, and this is going back almost 10 years now, I took a step back. I'm like, was there something wrong with me? Like, what are you trying to say? Because immediately you ask if someone has a coach or a therapist, it's like, oh, there's something wrong with me. And I was up to use a. You know, his story of Michael Jordan. After every game, even when he won, he would always sit in the locker room with two of his coaches and watch the game. Not because he did anything wrong. He wanted to discover what was missing that could elevate my game. So whether you think you've got your together or, you know, working with a coach is going to help you take your game to the next level in all aspects of life, you know, and that's why I think now coaching has really blown up. Especially after the pandemic, people realize, like, okay, I can't figure this out for myself. And unfortunately, after the pandemic, I mean, depression, anxiety, suicide was already problem going into the pandemic. It has been amplified and unfortunately, men are 80% of the suicides and men statistically die younger than women. And men over the age of 40, between 40 and 50 is one of the highest categories for suicide. Now, these are men of an age that grew up with fathers who didn't know how to talk to them, didn't know how to support them, didn't know how to emotionally connect with them. So now you have men my age who grew up with fathers like mine, like yours, who didn't know how to talk and open up. And they've been pushing things down for 30, 40 years.

That's all they need.

You can only push that down for so long until it shows up in the form of cancer, tumor, you know, some sort of health illness. And people are seeing friends drop dead at the age of 45 and they're like, you know what, we're all at.

That age now where it's happening.

I'm not going to be that guy. So I need help. Yeah.

What do you think? Make, what are the attributes of a good coach?

So first off, I feel it's super important that there's relatability. You know, I always tell people, hire the coach that's on the other side of your journey. So connect with someone who inspires you, that you can relate to. And as a coach, it's not my job to tell you what to do. It's more so my job to inspire you to want to find your own truth and ask you the questions, tap into the wisdom that you have within us. Because we all know our truth. But the thing is, we get so in our head and the conditioning, the stories from the past block us from actually listening to our intuition and the truth that's within us. So my role as a coach is one to help you design a plan for you to achieve the results you want, ride your ass and hold you accountable, and provide you with the options and resources to achieve that. For example, you know, a lot of my clients come to me because they want to lose weight, they want to raise their energy. Being a former fitness competitor at 49, you know, having the body of a 34 year old, and I say that because I did DNA testing, not because I'm vain, but biologically, I'm 34. It's a result of me taking care of myself for over 30 years. So I'm able to provide my resources from what I've learned from the brilliant coaches that I've worked with, to support my clients with a framework that we design. So most importantly, a great coach is going to really listen to you, understand you, ask you powerful questions, meet you where you're at, you know, and just really hold you accountable and just be there to support you. For me, I'm the guy my guys, and now women can call when they can't talk to their best friend, they can't talk to their partner. They just need to say it. I'm that person for them to just listen without judgment. Yeah.

What's really interesting is for me personally, I've done some coaching in real estate, but for me, what was really helpful is actually, actually doing the self development coaching. It just kind of gave me the pieces that were missing. You know, you can learn how to cold call, you can learn how to door knock, you can learn how to market, but when you're doing it from a place of lack, then you're always running after something, you're always chasing it.

Rather than attracting it.

Right. And grinding. So that's what you and I have been talking a lot about recently. You're finding a lot of Realtors coming to you.

I've had great success with a handful of Realtors who have referred me to other realtors. So now, like I would say 80% of my clients are either in the real estate or development space. And they work, as you said, in fight orf Flight. It's hustle, grind and chase.

And nice to hear somebody else say that besides just realtors.

Well, I see that acknowledges having worked with dozens of realtors. I see they are all struggling with the same thing. They wake up, they're on their phone right away, they're checking emails, they're skipping dinner because they got to put in a proposal or, you know, offer. And like, the thing with being a Realtor, just like being an entrepreneur, you can work 24, 7 and if you don't know how to set firm boundaries, you're going to compromise your health, your relationships, your time with yourself for work. Because many Realtors believe that they gotta strike while it's hot, they gotta grab the deals when they're there. Because again, operating from a scarcity mindset. Now, of course there are a limited amount of clients, a limited amount of opportunities, but you can either hustle, grind and chase, or you can be in flow and attract. And this is sometimes a hard one for people to understand because I tell them, look, you need to do less, be more and you'll have everything you want. And they're like, I don't get that.

What We've been coached in the real estate industry and if you really understand it in a deeper way, it actually goes hand in hand. But when you're only focusing on that part of it, then you're kind of missing the other half.

Absolutely.

And we're dealing with people in the most emotionally intense situations most of the time. So we have to know how to hold space for that. And if we can't hold space for ourselves, how do we do that for other people? And then we think we're, you know, not listening or they're lying, they went with another agent. And you're always pointing the finger out, but wait, are you providing them with what they need? And you can't see that unless you're providing yourself with what you need.

Yeah. And, and I'm glad you said that because that's one of the most important shifts that my clients experience is if you are out of integrity with your own life. If you're not taking care of yourself and getting in the gym, if you're not having a loving relationship with your partner and kids, if you're not, not putting healthy food in your body and you are feeling guilt or shame about how you're not showing up for yourself and your loved ones, the frequency of guilt and shame can be felt. These are the lowest vibrational frequencies. If you don't trust yourself and you are now speaking to a client, you're about to sell them a two million dollar home, the biggest investment in their life, they need to trust you, they need to feel safe in your presence. If you don't trust yourself because you're not showing up in integrity for you, how are they going to trust you? And when you are honoring your values, when you were in the gym, you're taking care of your family, you're taking care of yourself, you're in nature, you're doing all the things that put you in a high vibration, you're now in that frequency of abundance, you're now in that frequency of attraction. And I know a lot of people talk about obviously, law of attraction, the secret and manifestation, all that. It's a real thing. Everything's energy, everything's frequency. But if you're operating from a place of, of lack scarcity, shame and guilt, are you going to make deals happen with a lot of resistance, with a lot of grinding? You will. So it's a choice. Do you want to grind that?

Probably the first half of my career was working in that, in that form, you know, hustling, trying to prove who I am and that I can do this job. And then once I started to give myself permission to be an actual human being and not be just a realtor, it's just been such a gratifying change in my life. Like, you know, I, it's just that permission giving, my allowing myself to be fulfilled was a hard thing to get to. Now that I'm there, it's always okay, now what's next? What can I sign up for now that I actually like? That has nothing to do with my job.

Yeah.

And then sometimes it's in the beginning, it's just, you know, you're so hell bent on being successful that you think that that's the only thing you should focus on is being a realtor.

Because that's, that's what we're told growing up, you know, go to school, get good grades, get a good job, make money, buy a house, get married, have kids. Yeah, retire.

And then social media piles onto it and you have all these people that are like, look at my day.

Everybody's comparing themselves to other people through social media.

I just think it's all fake. The way I deal with it, it's like, that's all fake.

And I just want, you know, and one thing you mentioned is you said when you got to be more yourself, you got to then like have what you wanted. And that's, that's the flip of the paradigm is we're taught we got to do, do, do, do more cold calls. I need to do, I have to have better CRM. I need to do more open houses. I need to do all this stuff. And that's going to bring in more clients. But what about if you actually did less of where you're, we're being more of who you are and whatever, whatever defines who you are as a being, whether it be spending time with your kids, going for a walk in nature, whether it be traveling, whether it be reading, whatever it is. When you are being more of yourself, you're in flow, you're in that state of joy. When you're in that state, you're in a high vibration. People are drawn to you, people want to be with you. You know, and when you're doing a showing, you're speaking to a client client, they are choosing to work with you based on the vibe they get from you. If they like being with you, they're going to want to spend time with you. If they don't enjoy your company, why would they want to list with you? Why are they going to want to go around and see homes with someone that they don't really feel comfortable with, you know, so when you're in that vibration and they resonate with you, that's. That's how things happen. Not just in real estate, but, you know, as an entrepreneur, you know, in any industry, you know, you. You. There has to be, as I said before, that. That relatability, that. That coherence between you and your clients.

Absolutely.

Also, if you're guiding your clients and you're not clear, like, your intuition isn't clear, you're not connected to yourself, you don't really know how to guide them clearly. Right. So for me, if I'm in a good space, if I'm doing all the things that fill me up, then I'm more connected to my intuition. And so when my clients says, you know, you're negotiating, and half of that is intuition or more. Right. So your client says, should we go in higher or what should we do? I can actually connect to my intuition and know the answer. And, like, I've tested it out. I'm usually very, very close to, like, even numbers. It's. It's pretty crazy, actually. Like, some of my clients think I'm psychic.

Well, and that's a result of you, like, your spiritual practices, you know, from what you eat to your training to spending time with your kids. Like, you do all the things to nourish yourself, you know, and you are. Are a very authentic person. You know, you're not trying to pretend to be someone you're not. But when we are trying to keep up with the Joneses and the Kardashians on Instagram, we're trying to, like, constantly make ourselves feel like we're good enough. We're being inauthentic. And from that place of inauthenticity, you can't connect to your intuition because your mind is so busy filled with all the trials.

Figure out what to do next because you're not being your authentic self.

That's it. That's it.

And I've seen it in you, Mary Jo. I mean, we've been. We've been friends for a long time and partners now for what, four, four or so?

Since after the retreat.

Since after the retreat.

Almost five.

So, yeah. So, I mean, I kind of been trying to grind it into her over time, but I would say over the last year, I mean, you went through a lot of really tough things, and you finally just opened up to it, and you got a really amazing coach. And, like, just in seeing who you are now, you've always been amazing, but now You've just like leveled it up.

A little bit better know.

Oh my gosh. You're just. It's almost like a new person, you know, her energy's different.

It is practice, though. I will say that, like when you have significant trauma, like, you do need to do the work and this ver.

That ver. You were that version for 20, 30, 40 years. So it's like, yeah. You have decades of conditioning and habits and what worked for you, like that way of being got you to where you are now.

Yeah.

And it's worked in many ways. And you can keep being this version of you, but then the rest of your life will look like it does right now.

Exactly.

But if you want to be that next version, if you want whatever it is that you want, this current version of you isn't going to be that person to get that. So.

But it's a personal decision. You have to be the one to make that decision. Nobody can make it for you. And that's what I learned.

Yeah.

And I've been told you can't ram it down people's throats.

You can't.

And I'm stopping. Yeah.

Yeah.

I appreciate, like, she's been amazing. She's been super supportive. But when I was ready, yeah, that's when the difference happened.

It was just like that. Like she was ready and she just went for it.

When I decided to get a business coach, it was. I was like, I'm ready to do this. Like I'm doing it. And my coach said you were coachable. You wanted to take the information. You ran with it. You, you did. A lot of people get into coaching just to say they're. But they're not coachable. They don't want to listen.

And there's a mandate solution. There's people who are like, I'm just going to put a band aid on this because they think, oh, I'll get a coach, I'll go on a retreat, I'll do these things. But they're not doing it from an authentic place. You're like, oh, this is going to fix me.

Yeah, they're doing not being and about, you know, you. You were finally ready to choose it and you have to wholeheartedly choose it. Cuz once you choose it, you have to choose it every day. It gets harder before it gets easier because you are detaching those old habits. You're ripping apart that old identity from this new version of you. It's intense and that is intense. It could be painful. And just like you, when I did Landmark I was just trying to beat everybody over the head with the landmarks figure. You need landmark. You need landmark. You need landmark.

And that doesn't work.

That will definitely push people away. And what I've learned, because I have, you know, wives or people come to me and say, how do I get my husband to do the work? You know, like, he needs to work with a coach like you. And I say, you do your own work. You be the change. You inspire him through who you've become.

Yeah.

And watch what happens. And that's a lot of the people who thought I was crazy and, you know, I turned off with the coaching earlier on have now come back years later once they've seen me as the.

Proof you were consistent. I will say, watching you go through.

This, people did think he was crazy. I can attest to that. Everybody, they would come to me and be like, what's up with Zark, Marie? What's happening? I'm like, no, he's on a journey.

Takes a lot of courage, honestly, because I've watched it. I didn't know you as well as Mar. At all, but I've sort of seen the transition, and I. I also heard the stuff going on, and I was like, I don't know what's happening, but I've seen the consistency of what you've done, and. And you've done a lot. It's impressive. Thank you. Very impressive.

And it's because of the impact that I see that's happening. Sunday, you were both at my event, and that, for me, was a real highlight in my career because I got to bring 80 people together for four hours to share some really powerful lessons that I've learned. And I know that some of those 80 people, that, for them, might have been the catalyst or that moment where they woke up the next day and said, what?

This is an aha moment.

I'm choosing to live a different life now. I'm choosing to give up alcohol or I'm choosing to give up whatever they're, you know, holding on to. And that, for me, the. The courage and the strength and resilience I have is because of the impact that I see in my clients.

But it does go back and forth. And. And I'm so glad you said that, because you and I just had a conversation maybe a week ago about feeling a little bit down.

Yeah.

So no matter what we're doing, you know, I try to do daily practices, but are days that I just feel drained, I feel down. I don't feel like myself. But the reality is now with Even with Mary Jo, we have a conversation. We. We speak the same language, so we can actually relate. And I can tell her, look, this is how I'm feeling. I can tell you. You can tell me. We have this ability now that we can share what we're feeling.

Honesty.

Yeah. And we have tools, right. That. It doesn't mean you're going to be perfect. It just means that you're going to have days that are good, days that are not great, and then you have tools to deal with them.

Just means you're going to be human. Human. That's it. And. And acknowledging your feelings. Like, yeah, you know what I'm feeling? I'm feeling sad, I'm feeling frustrated. I'm feeling afraid. Whatever it is, because as soon as you get to speak it and share it, that's how you release it. Because if you push it down and you hold on to it, it's not going anywhere. You're just gonna build upon that. Exactly.

Burnout. And in our industry, like, it's huge because you're told, fake it till you make it. A lot of these realtors that are all over social media, they're not making any money. There's not that many realtors making a lot of money. Money. But fake it till you make it. So what is that? Be inauthentic. You're not being your real self. Doesn't mean you have to, you know, be down and out on, you know, out there in the world. But just means, like, actually connect to people and have people that you can talk to and be authentic with. Even if you have this image that you need to create.

Yeah, you go ahead.

Oh, well, you guys both talked about, like, morning practices. What is. What is. What does that look like for you?

Yeah. So I never thought I was a morning person because, you know, I was in the clubs till 2, 3 in the morning. You know, I'd come home, I'd sleep in. Like, the idea of getting up at 6 or 7 was like, that's never gonna happen. But during my retreats, when I would attend retreats, you know, you start up pretty early. And of course you're on a retreat, so you're not on your phone. You're waking up. You're doing some mindfulness practices. Could be yoga, could be breath work, meditation, journaling. I mean, there's. There's a dozen different modalities you could practice. But what's most important is you dedicate minimum 30 minutes in the morning to start your day, feeling into your body, feeling into your energy, allowing whatever emotions Are there just be present with that, be in the now before you grab your phone, you start checking emails, you start booking appointments for the day. Like just give yourself that first half hour. Because in that first half hour power, when you're just waking up, you're still in the theta brainwave state. And in that brainwave state, your mind is very suggestible. And you also have the ability to tap into your intuition in the higher states of consciousness. So whether you want to state your affirmations, whether you want to pray, whether you want to visualize how you want the day to flow, that first, you know, 10 to 15 minutes when you wake up, that's when you can really create your day day. And that's when you can use affirmations to manifest. And then you get to set your tone for the day. You get to start the day at a calm baseline. You get to release some of that stress and anxiety from meditation or breath work so that you're not building on the stress and anxiety every day. Every day, Every day. Because that's what leads to burnout and panic attacks and disease. So that first half hour will set up the rest of your day. And you know, my morning practice is an hour, you know, and it's, it's a non negotiable for me. Even when I, I'm traveling.

I have kids, so mine is 20 minutes and it's still useful. So I'm saying that because it doesn't have to be an hour. I do five minutes of breath work, I do five minutes of journaling and then I do, I do a check in with myself and that's it. 15, 20 minutes and I'm done.

Yeah, I like to sit in the sun.

Yeah.

Yeah. I love sitting outside. I go for walks in the morning, I put on the resilient mind or motivational speech and I go for a walk.

And that's really good too.

It's very good for me.

And that's the thing. You can design your morning practice however you want. But most importantly, give back to yourself before you start giving to the rest of the world. Because when you don't and you're at the demands of your phone and clients and all that, you know, that you're kind of cheating yourself, you know, and that doesn't feel good.

Yeah, agreed.

I think originally I was just talking about vulnerability. Like how me and Mireille became closer in our business and in our friendship was when we learned how to actually speak to each other with vulnerability and be honest.

Yeah.

Because what we were doing during COVID Covid was a really tough time because we started our partnership pretty much just before COVID and we didn't know how to speak to each other. We didn't know how to.

We were in our triggers and our patterns, and we were just, like, bouncing off of each other and blocking and dissociating.

Yeah. And it wasn't until we actually started saying, hey, you know what? Here are the things that aren't working for me or that bother me or that trigger me. And we were honest about it. And once we were honest about it, it was like, oh, okay, now I get it. I see you, she saw me, and we.

We connected. Like, the vulnerability allows you to connect to the person with compassion. And instead of having all these stories in your mind, you actually really understand what's going on for her. And we love each other, so we always want the best for each other. But sometimes we just get far away from that because we're in our story and we're not connected to the human well.

And you can let triggers sometimes spiral out of control. And I think it happens a lot to a lot of people where they. They'll tell themselves a story. It's like something will trigger them, and all of a sudden they'll go down. Down this. This. This path. And it's. It's. It's totally not necessary if they just, you know, are open about it.

Recently, I discovered that my whole life has been a pattern. Still living in patterns, but I Now I actually see them. Like, oh, there it is. Okay.

Yeah.

So that's a huge thing for me.

And the pattern shows up in different ways.

Yeah.

And I'm a perfectionist. So to me, I'm like, okay, what's the problem?

That's a pattern, too.

Yeah. Yes, it is that. What's the problem?

Awareness, Solution.

How do I fix this and move on? Well, there's no moving on. It's always going to be there. It's just a matter of, like, managing it. Sharing and having people to support you and just being, like, being compassionate to yourself. Right. That. That was a huge one for you, too.

For sure. Yeah. Just knowing that, okay, I'm not perfect. I've got my deficiencies, and it's okay. That's what makes each of us unique. But it's having the awareness to know. Know when am I operating from a place of pain? Like, when is that pattern showing up? That's actually disempowering me and taking me out of my authenticity. Being able to catch yourself, you know, that's what self awareness really is. It's about being able to catch yourself in those moments where the pattern or the triggers take over. Be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, I know what I'm doing right now and I'm just gonna take a step back and I laugh at myself. Now I catch myself in a pattern or like a behavior and I just, I just take a breath like, okay, I know what I'm doing here. I'm not going to, I choose not to do that. And I, I, you know, and it's.

Nice that you can laugh at yourself because it's compassionate instead of being like, oh, you're doing it again, you know?

Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. A lot of people, very negative self talk, you know, they are hard and judgmental on themselves and you don't deserve that because, you know, we're all just learning and trying to figure out this, this thing called life.

We take ourselves way too seriously. I'm a kid, like most of the.

Time.

And I love it. That's who I am. And I like being that person.

That's what keeps you young.

I'm still, but I'm still in the pattern and I still do react. You know, I'm not at the point where I'm like, oh, I'm gonna not do that. No, I still do it, but then I clean it up after. So I'm hoping eventually I will catch myself before I do it.

So how would you help her in a, in a coaching session if she, she came to you with you with that problem?

Right? Yeah. So if there specific example she had of a pattern that's showing up, you know, I would ask her to, you know, talk about when else that pattern has showed up and really try to get to the root cause of the belief behind that pattern. And then when was that belief formed? Like what experience in life created that belief for you? And sometimes it's multiple experiences that you need to go through to understand where it was first created and then go back and revisit that originating incident and have a shift in perspective around it. Because often what happens to us when we're five or six years old, we make up this whole story about it and it's been proven that 50% of our memories are actually inaccurate. And what we think what happened at 5 or 6 is such a big deal. When we go back from our, this adult, you know, level of maturity, we can see that, oh, it actually wasn't that big of a deal. When I now think about it from this perspective, I have times like that.

Still that I think about it. Like, you're like, talking to the little child inside you. Like, it wasn't that serious, but you still hold onto to it.

And even if it was, it's the story that you attach to it that makes it more reactive for you, that makes it more emotionally.

Shame again. Exactly that.

Embarrassment. Or I will say journaling has helped me with that.

Yeah.

Journaling allows you to just flush it all out.

You know, I didn't know what the inner child was.

Okay.

I'm one of those. I didn't have no idea what the inner child was. And I just went through coaching, and I learned a lot about this. And once I started, and it took me a long time to really grasp that concept, like, of this, you know, speaking to the kid that you were when you were 5 years old. Like, how would you speak to this person, you know, who went through this? Like, be kind.

Yeah.

Be kind to yourself. And I never understood that concept.

Yeah.

We would never speak to other people the way we speak to ourselves.

Yeah.

In our mind.

Yeah.

Like, people that we care about. We wouldn't do that. No. It would be abusive.

Yeah. We're hardest on ourselves, I think.

Yeah.

And so when you start to see that, you're like, oh, okay, you know what? I don't treat anybody else that. That way.

Yeah.

You give them grace and kindness.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the big shifts that clients have as well is when they could have gratitude for the experience that maybe was considered a negative experience, when they can go back and see how that experience has actually had a chain of events and created patterns that have actually served you. Like, for me, I wouldn't change the fact that I was bullied. Of course, nobody wants to be bullied as a child. But because I got bullied, I developed certain skills and certain. Certain personality traits that allowed me to be successful and even to be healthy. You know, the reason why I'm healthy and fit is because I got bullied at a young age. So sometimes. Not sometimes, all the times, experiences we go through, they are always for us. They're for us to grow. They're for us to learn. But you could either be a victim to that, or you can choose that. You know, life is not just happening for me. It's happening by me and through me. And I can use my experiences of what I've learned, learned to choose to live my life on my terms. So even though something may have happened that was traumatic, can you see the blessing in that? Can you see the lesson in the gift in it? Because when you can Then you can let go of those feelings of anger or hate or frustration. You can now transmute those low vibration emotions into joy, gratitude, bliss, appreciation. Right? Yeah.

What I realized was the worst thing that ever happened to me was also the best thing that ever happened to me. Me as what? Like going off of what you're saying. And it helps me not to live in the past knowing that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be today and loving where I am today and knowing that there's more room to grow. It helps me not live in the past and not kind of keep bringing up old patterns from the past.

Yeah. And you actually can't truly let go of something until you've been able to be at peace with it and have gratitude for it. When you, you've received the lesson and you're like, okay, you know what? I'm good. Thank you. I'm complete now. You can let it go. Otherwise it will always linger in there somewhere.

So true.

I think that's a huge lesson that people in our industry especially need to take hold of because they take it personally.

Yeah.

Like they don't get a listing. They don't. Whatever, whatever happens, they take it so personally. It's like, no, it's not personal. Learn something from it.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. I have a client right now. He's going through the same thing. Even though he's doing well. Every time there's this other, other agent on the street, every time he sees another sign up, it pisses him off so much because he's very competitive. And one thing I've learned through the business of the entertainment nightlife industry is sometimes the best deals you do are the ones you don't. Yeah. So sometimes when you don't get that listing, God is thank you. Yeah.

It's like, thank you.

You don't want to take that on because I got way better fee. So you just have to trust that what's meant for you will be yours. And if you didn't get that list listing, it's okay. Don't go to anger, frustration, shame, or guilt. Go to acceptance, non attachment, appreciation, and gratitude. Thank you.

Because now I'm going to sleep tonight, you know, because some, sometimes you get those that are just like, oh my God, how are we going to get through the next couple of weeks?

But again, when you're coming from a place of scarcity or coming from a place of inauthenticity, trying to achieve some certain result that you think you need to have, it's hard to tap into the, that, that mindset. Right? Yeah. But that's where the inner work is needed. That's why, you know, having self awareness through meditation, breath, work, and just being at peace with your own traumas is really how you get to a place of non attachment where you can be like, okay, I didn't get it. No good. It's all good. I got another 10 listings coming my way. I'm sure, you know.

Yeah, that's, that's what you just said about traumas. I think I was stuck in stories for years, years and years because I kept seeing bad things happen and I'm like, oh, I'm. And I was the victim for a very long time. And once I understood that and now I recognize it in other people, people, I see it right away.

I'm like, unsee it.

You can't unsee it. Yeah, once you understand it, you can't unsee it.

So I'm like, okay, but it's also surrounding yourself. It's all perspective. Right. So it's also surrounding yourself with people who can kind of be the mirror for you. So, you know, surround yourself with people that you want as the mirror. Right. So and when I'm having that perspective of lack or scarcity, then, you know, maybe Mary Jo will say, hey, remember, look, remember this one? And we didn't get it. But then remember we spoke to this person and look what happened. And it's just kind of like remind finding you. And if you can't do it yourself, it's good to have someone else in your life or a few people in your life that can help you see that. Absolutely.

Things come around too. Like, I do believe in karma. So I. And how many times we've been at this a long time. So we've seen it come full circle where something may have been bad at this point, but then we'll see it come full circle like, oh, you know, look at what happened back then.

But now it's again, it all comes down to energy and frequency. If you didn't get that deal, it wasn't a match for you. And, and a different deal that is aligned with your frequency is going to find you.

Yeah, but I'm going to be very vulnerable right now. I have to say that I've been really working on not being happy when karma comes back for other people. And that's back karma back to me. I'm working on that.

Scorpio showing.

Scorpio.

This is the definition.

Compassion. Compassion.

So why don't you tell us a.

Little bit more about how you can support Realtors.

Yeah. So as I said, having worked with dozens of Realtors, I see a consistent pattern in what they're experiencing and going through and also what's missing for them to really get to a place of, as we talked about, acceptance and flow and rather being that grind and chase mentality. So I've designed a group coaching program which I'll be launching in early 2023. Which is going to be for about 23. Right? That's. Yeah, good point. Yes. Logic in 2024. Almost there in January. Yeah. For, for Realtors or entrepreneurs, real estate developers, like people who are basically in a career that is time sensitive, that is volatile and unpredictable. It's a three month program that's going to teach them the fundamentals of personal development, teach them the modalities, the exercises and processes so they can get to a place where, where they're taking care of themselves, they're in a healthy mindset, they are healthy, physically healthy, spiritually, so that they can, you know, operate from a place of high vibration. So that will be launching in January, it's going to be for about 30 people. And then at the end of the program, we're going to do a one week retreat in Costa Rica focusing on health optimization.

Back to where it all began.

Back to where it began. Yeah. So it'll be a one week retreat really focused on biohacking, life longevity, health optimization. Because at the end of the day you could have a seven figure real estate business. But if you're not healthy, if you're not feeling alive and vibrant, then what's it all worth? Right. So at the moment I am also opening up my coaching practice to start working with women again as well. I get a lot of requests from women, especially Realtors who want onetoone coaching. So, you know, between the group coaching, the onetoone coaching and the retreats, that's really what the alive life has to offer. And as I said, I specifically work with entrepreneurs because, because I'm a serial entrepreneur. I know the pressure, I know what they're going through and I've been there, I've dealt with anxiety, I've dealt with the pressure and I've had to start all over and create something completely new. So I know what that's like as well. When you're going through a big transition in your life and you don't know what that next step is, you know, so I'm, I'm happy.

It's exciting though, isn't it?

It is exciting for sure. Like, you know, When I left Toronto and sold my restaurant and walked out of that industry. Yeah. I didn't know it was kind of to. I didn't know it was going to be this good, you know, and that's the thing. Sometimes you got to step into unknown. You got to follow your heart. You just got to trust that the universe and God has a plan for you and just got to just keep walking the path, you know, that's it. Step by step. Yeah.

Amazing.

Okay, so on the rare agent, we have something called the Rare Roundup.

Okay.

Some rapid fire questions, get the audience to know you a little bit better. So it's not. You're not a realtor, but that's okay. What is your favorite GTA neighborhood?

I really love the beaches and I love the beaches.

A lot of people say that.

I have a dog. I love walking her down the boardwalk. I also love that there's lots of parks there. Obviously you're near the water. My parents are close by in Scarborough. So.

Yeah, so you keep mentioning Scarborough, which pulls on heartstrings because I'm from there.

Okay.

Where did you grow up in Scarborough?

Around Warden. Damn. Fourth.

Oh, my mom still lives at Midland and Eglinton.

Okay.

Yeah.

Changed a lot.

Yeah, it's changed quite a bit. Okay, so you're on the road. What's your go to meal?

Ah, that's a good question. Yeah, I do love India, I love pizza, but my go to meal. Oh, wow. Well, one in Toronto probably Impact Kitchen. I really like Impact. That's, you know, healthy, quick, easy. Yeah. When traveling. Yeah, that's probably just like a soluble and a smoothie in the morning. Yeah. Keep it light, healthy.

Yeah, Very nice. Love that. Okay, so we usually ask what does. What makes an agent Rare, but we're going to change it up for you. So what makes a person self aware?

Yes. So yeah. What makes a person self aware is being able to differentiate between their. The voice that's telling them what to do based in their programming and their conditioning versus their intuition, which I'd say be able to differentiate between the voice in your head and the voice from your heart and being able to know that the voice in your head is trying to protect you. It's often coming from fear. And the messages from your heart are coming more so from your spirit, soul, you know, and that's in our gut and our heart is where our intuition is. So being able to just not let that sabotaging voice carry you away, but to be able to take a step back and differentiate between the messages you're receiving and then choose from place of authenticity and courage. Love it.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

Well, thank you for everybody tuning in. Tune in next. Well, the episode will air at 9am on Thursdays. Tune in next week. And please don't forget to subscribe like and share with all your friends and family on Instagram.

I Jesus. My name Zaraq Fatah. My website.

What is your website?

It's my name, zarqfata.com and soon launching will be the alivelife.com but for now, just. Yeah, Instagram tends to be my, my main medium. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

Thanks.

Thank you.