2024 Ins and Outs: Creating Your Intentions for the Year

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between. Hello friends, and welcome Welcome back to another episode of The In Between Pod, and happy New Year! It is one half of the pod, Alexis, and the other half, Astrid.

We have missed you guys so much. We took a little break over the holidays. It feels like it's been way too long, honestly. Like, thinking of today's episode, I was like, okay, there's been so many in-betweens that have been building up to this moment, but it feels so good to be back.

It really does. We took a couple weeks off and the break was needed. I feel like that in-between years timeframe is just a weird time in general. And I'm so excited to like be back, be back with the pod, back with my fam. Um, I feel like we should almost reintroduce ourselves. It's a new year. Like, should we be like, this is who we are? Do you want to go first? I'm just totally putting you on the spot.

Absolutely. Well, if you are new around here, my name is Astrid Reyes. I am I'm an international wedding photographer and also a business coach. And I quit corporate and then now I run my business full-time. I have a team. I live in the Midwest and I am Venezuelan. Spanish is my first language. And I host this podcast with my best friend, which is so, so fun. And this is, we're going into our second year or— Yeah. It's crazy.

It's July. Yeah, thank you for introducing yourself.

Uh, Alexis, tell us about you.

Thank you. Hello, um, my name is Alexis and I've spent the last 10 years working in tech, in SaaS, in startup world, um, specifically in the creator economy. So helping entrepreneurs, online business owners, authors, creators of any kind. Um, right now I am the Senior Brand Partnerships Manager at Circle, managing all things brand partnerships there. And my side hustle for the past 3 and a half years is I'm a coach. I'm a business coach. I also love helping women form more confidence, more habits, more routines. And I love to travel. My husband and I and our sweet dog Piper, we live in Houston, Texas. Although I'm also from the Midwest where Astrid lives. So that's how we first got connected. And I cannot believe that we're going on almost year 2 of the pod. Really excited. Like Astrid and I spent last quarter being so intentional about what kind of content we wanted to create on the pod, what direction we wanted to take the podcast. And I'm so excited. I feel like invigorated, like reinvigorated for 2024.

Me too. This is a new season of us. And I feel like the specific vision that we have for this year couldn't align anymore with our specific goals, where we're at in life. And the beauty of this podcast is that it really started out of our conversations together. together and consistently bringing up those topics that we're struggling with or we're curious about and asking each other questions and being like, okay, well, how do you really feel about this? And then we decided that other people could benefit perhaps from our conversations. And knowing that we're sharing from a place where we're always in between a season of quitting a job and starting something new or ending a relationship and starting a relationship, there's so many in-betweens in life. So that's where you'll find us and that's what you'll hear about on this podcast. And today we have a super fun topic. We are doing the ins and outs for 2024, which if you've been on TikTok in the past, I don't know, 3 weeks, that has been a pretty hot trend going around and also on Instagram. And we're going to share our very own with you today.

Yeah, I'm excited for this topic. I think it's a fun way to look at what you want more of and what you want less of in the year.

Mm-hmm.

For someone who is not motivated by strict goals, I just, there's so many ways to go about setting intentions for a new year. And some people like strict time-based, like metric-focused goals. And other people like more like high-level, like these are my intentions for the year. And I really like how the ins and outs trend that we've been seeing lends itself to like, what do I want more of? Where am I kind of like putting a stake in the ground? And what do I want less of? And where am I trying to like hold myself accountable for that? And yeah, I had a really fun time creating this list. I actually created it on my flight back home from New Year's. And I was just sitting there, I was like, hey, what do I want?

What do I want more of?

What do I want less of? And it was really fun to like go deeper into that. So before we dig in, to that topic, do we want to share what we're currently in between right now? Because we always start every episode, even though this is a weekly show, we're always, as Astrid said, we're always in between something. Uh, do we want to start with what we're in between right now?

Yes.

Yes.

I'll kick us off with the first in between of 2024. And I am so excited to share this one. I literally had it in mind since I knew that we were going to be recording today. Um, but I am in between. Quitting my nighttime social scrolling and reading way too much. I've read 2 books in 1 week.

I'm obsessed. I cannot wait to nerd out with you on this.

Yeah, it's funny how goal setting will sometimes feel so constricting or like you have to do this thing. And for a really long time, I've been wanting to be someone that reads more. And I just tend to be someone that listens to podcasts more. And I always just thought, well, maybe that's just how I am and that's okay. And I would try to make these goals of 10 pages a day or 1 chapter a day, and it just always felt constricting. And this may sound so silly, but I didn't realize how I kind of don't like holding a book, and that's what was holding me back. So I like to read at night. And so if I'm reading in bed, it's awkward to flip the page and hold it, and you're trying to The pages folding over. And that was a very simple barrier that when I switched the source and I got a Kindle and now it's just tapping through and it's very light and convenient, I've read 2 books. So it wasn't the actual thing, it was just the source it was coming through. And I'm obsessed.

I am in my reading era. I am beaming over here. I'm so excited because I also finished 2 books this year, and I feel like maybe we have a little competition, a little reading competition.

Let's do it. We get a big prize at the end of the year.

Yeah, a big prize, like a trip or a spa appointment, something really motivating. What kind of books are you reading?

I've only read fiction. I've only read fiction so far. And then I realized I like having a fiction and a nonfiction going at the same time.

Yeah.

But the nonfiction, one of them just takes more effort. Another one's more entertainment. So what I've been doing is when I'm seeking my phone, like TikTok or whatever, for mindless scrolling or entertainment, I'll pick up my Kindle instead and read. And so I have been getting way better sleep. I feel just so much better. And I feel like a lot of times, as someone that's very goal-oriented, when you're scrolling on social media, I feel like I only end up creating more to-do lists for myself. Like, oh, I want to add this to my skincare. Now I want to do this to my hair routine. Now I want to do this in my business. And now I should create that content. Save, add to content ideas. And it's like we're creating all day long and then I'm creating even more to-do lists at the end of the day.

Mm-hmm.

So, um, yeah, so it's been a really nice way to unwind. So right now I'm reading 2 books. One, The Psychology of Money. And then I finished both of Colleen Hoover. I think that's how you say her name. The It Ends with Us and It Starts with Us books. And then I'm on a third one of hers.

Yeah. I have so many recommendations. So let me know.

Send me a list.

Let me know when you want. I also— this isn't like a closeted thing about me, but I love reading fantasy. And so happy to send you any fantasy see things. Like, I love them. Um, I'm also the same way. I like having tandem reading, reading the nonfiction and then reading the fiction back and forth. It feels like it makes the nonfiction feel more fun. I'm like, oh, I'm reading to learn, but I can also read for entertainment.

Yes, absolutely, absolutely. Um, what are you currently in between?

Oh, okay, so I'm currently in between Like leaning into a completely different mindset around the way that I live my life. Just like a light topic, you know, real light. I am in between this like past version of me that was motivated by pressure and I am actually more motivated now by peace.

Hmm.

And so I'm in between this like tension inside of me that is like, hey, with pressure, you know, we lean into stress and like achievement. And like, I realized that it was genuinely like rubbing and rubbing me raw in a way.

Mm-hmm.

And I wasn't having fun and I wasn't happy in a lot of areas of my life. And at the end of last year, I had to take a lot of inventory on what was really contributing to that because everything on paper was going really well. And I realized that the common denominator was me. It was the way that I was viewing these different aspects of my life. And so I really want more peace and more fun. And instead of everything being so— especially as a business owner and being a business professional, a lot of things can be about growth and making more money and how are we going to scale and how are we going to double down. And I really want this to be the year that I serve more and have fun serving because I want to, because it's what I'm here for, less on like, how is this strategic? And you'll see some of this come up in my ins and outs. But I feel that like this week in work, in my coaching calls with my clients, when I'm like having new ideas, it's like, oh, I feel that little pressure, that little like stress that used to rule me come in. And I have to like actively practice to—

Mm.

release that and to remind myself that's not how I have to go about solving this problem, answering this email, responding to someone. Like, I can really allow this to be fun and to recenter myself. So it's going to take some time. Like, I almost feel like I'm detoxing from that mindset of like pressure. Um, but I'm excited. I feel more refreshed than I have honestly in a long time when it comes to Just like the future of me, if that makes sense.

Oh, I love this so much for you, and I love that you brought this up. And also, what a beautiful way to start the year with that kind of intention and that kind of clarity where you're like, okay, how can I serve people more? How can I enjoy my life more? And perhaps some of the outcomes would've been the same as a very strategic route, But the way we feel when we— how we get there is probably the most important factor because that is how you live your life and that is how you feel about yourself and how, yeah, you're able to connect everything and have it come together. And I think that's so beautiful. I think that over time when you are running a business or you're in your career, we start so passionate and then that kind of dwindles down and we get just engulfed in all this goal setting and mindset. And we are David Goggins, the extremity of it. Um, but yeah, as you were talking, I was like reminding myself of when I started my business and how like excited I got every email, every like opportunity and everything. And I still feel passionate. And sometimes that can feel overwhelming or daunting or not enough. I think I'm working through my, this is enough. We can still work through more, but we're doing so well. We don't have to be a multimillionaire to then be like, okay, yeah, I'm happy. That's not my goal in life. And I perhaps don't even want that. That comes with a lot of responsibility. So I love that intention. I think that's such a beautiful reminder to all of us to always go about whatever it is that we do in life with such a heart of— Serving an impact and lead with that and not have it be like secondary or third too.

Yeah. And I think how that showed up for me is I was becoming really pessimistic. I was becoming a bit jaded of like seeing people win and being like, how'd they do it? Let's break it down. Like what steps did they take and how do I repeat it? How do I like do that too? And I think there's an aspect of that that is inspirational. And I think, you know, for a while there it wasn't healthy for me. And I was just getting like, why, why not me? Like I was just getting a bit resentful towards the whole process of being a creator, being a business owner. That's not me at my core. And so I think that's where a lot of like, you saw this in some of our own interactions. Like I was just fighting myself of like, I don't know where I'm headed, but I know that something internally needs to switch. So I'm excited to see where I'll be this time next year. And I hope that it's just filled with more serving, more joy, more happiness, and more contentment as well. Your comment about not always— is this enough? Successful on paper, but is it enough? And it's like, okay, if it's not enough, what's going on?

Yeah.

What's not clicking? So yeah, just been working through a lot of that. I'm sure it'll come in layers.

I'm curious, like, how did you get that clarity moment? Because there could have been so many sources of all those feelings you were having. And I think a lot of us struggle with that situation. Like, what was the aha moment for you?

Honestly, going on a trip. Yeah, this trip to London, in a way— this might, this might not, this might not connect, and I'm still processing some of this, but This trip to London, like sharing the trip and sharing about my life in a way that had nothing to do with anything and like seeing people connect with it kind of reminded me why I enjoy sharing.

Yeah.

And I'm like, oh yeah, I actually, I love this. This is my love language to my community is sharing things about travel, about fashion, about mindset, habits, like whatever it is. And hearing people's responses to that and even just getting some really kind DMs over the holidays from people, I was like, wow, okay, what if I just leaned into this more? And instead of it being like, what's the 7-step process? And yeah, I think my corporate brain has kind of negatively impacted my creator brain.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm realizing like I can wear that hat and I wear it well, but it's not serving like this creative side of me. the coach side. So where can I lean into the more creative parts of me and let the corporate side of me take a backseat?

Yeah. That's so powerful. I love it. Thank you for sharing it. I feel like a lot of our listeners and even myself can relate to that, where we all go through those seasons of you have so much creativity, you build something amazing, and then suddenly it's like, well, you made it. Now you got to double down. And it's like, no, you can always Stick to your roots of why you started and why you did something. So I am so excited for, um, for you for this year and, and also for our topics going on of like life and business and how you integrate all of those aspects into your business.

Yeah, same. Thank you for asking such intentional questions.

Of course. Of course.

I'm curious about you, but I'm like, you know, on the other side of it, I'm like, okay, yeah, I need to think through that.

Oh, I love it. Well, I am so excited for today's topic. I feel like whenever I was looking through everyone's in and outs, it was such a beautiful trend because a lot of the in and outs weren't these massive goals, but it was just more intentionality in our everyday lives, in our businesses, in who we are and reconnecting with, yeah, with our whole soul. And that's just so beautiful to see. I was inspired every time that I saw them. And today we get to share our in and outs. So do you want to go ahead and kick us off?

I will. I will. This honestly, not to repeat a lot of what I just shared about my current in-between, but what's in for me this year is living with more freedom and peace. And so if whatever activity goal does not support that, I'm not going to do it. So I'm just really leaning into using my voice, tapping into my intuition more. asking myself, like, does this really align? Does this feel constricting? Why does it feel constricting? And I think that in terms of, like, that looking, like, lived out, it's that gut check.

Mm-hmm.

So how do I actually want to put that into practice? I think that's another thing with ins and outs is like, okay, we have this intention, then how do we follow through with it? And I think for me, the living with freedom and peace looks like me holding myself accountable to actually saying, okay, when a decision comes up, when an opportunity arises or an idea comes up, I need to run it through this freedom and peace filter.

Mm-hmm.

And like, okay, if it's going to cost me my freedom and peace, is it worth it? How long will it cost me that? Is that worth sacrificing for a week in order to achieve X? But really just putting that as the forefront of my mind. Really using that to make better, wiser decisions for myself and my life.

Yeah. Oh, I love that. That was such a beautiful segue from your, like, in-between into your first in for 2024. But what a beautiful intention to have. And I think a lot of us need to have that constant reminder, almost like tattooed to ourselves, screensaver, our phone, of this new opportunity that came through. It looks shiny, it looks beautiful. And is it going to steal so much of your peace, of your time, of things that matter to you that maybe there's no money attached to it, but it brings you happiness? And yeah, I feel like that needs to be a tattoo.

Well, speaking of tattoos, I literally am getting— I think my next tattoo is coming soon.

Freedom and peace?

No, but it's tied to this intention. Um, I don't want to say it yet on the pod because I haven't gotten it yet, and I don't like saying I'm gonna get it and then like I might change my mind. Okay.

Yeah. So yeah, let me live.

But there's like an idea for a tattoo I have around this that I've wanted to get for a while. Um, and I, I want to get it like this spring, so I'll let you know.

Such beautiful timing, especially if it like connects with that and that's your intention for the year. I love it.

I know. Okay, what's your first in?

Mine is kind of along the same lines of having more time to do the things that I want to do. And so my first N is making art just because.

Yeah.

So whether that's a fun funky shoot in an old motel that I just asked my boyfriend to go snap cute pictures for me to post because I had an idea, or if it's painting or if it's writing or if it's reading, Just creating art just because. And I really missed it last year. I had that craving for painting and I didn't make that goal come through or that intention come through besides one time. And that one time was enough to be like, I need this in my life. And so I think just really leaning into, I'm a creative before I'm an entrepreneur. And I'm a creative soul before I produce something for somebody else. And how can I produce for myself and tend to those gifts before I share them with the world? And so, yeah, I think just really leaning into that 16-year-old Astrid that just created art just because is something I'm really looking forward to.

I love that. And I saw you're already getting started this weekend. You had a painting date with your mom, and I saw that Nick got you a bunch of supplies.

So I cried.

I would have cried too. I saw all that, I was like, oh, my heart. Yeah, but I feel like having a community around you too that like is really supporting you in that, like you make— you making the time, but then also like, yeah, I'll come over and paint with you, and like just making that a communal experience as well as like you on your own.

Yeah, it's crazy because my mom came over and then she was telling me how my grandma used to paint massive oil paintings of roses and all this stuff. And my mom did it too. And so now I'm doing it. So it was even more so like a generational thing that my soul was craving to do, and I was made for that. And it wasn't just a thing. And so it just felt like I was a part of something even more special. And my mom's like, this is actually generational, and we get to share this together. And it was beautiful. I got to hear a lot of stories of her and my dad and just have more girl time. And so yeah, so if you are listening to this and you have some kind of intention that is just for fun and you're a business owner and you struggle making time for it, something that I'm doing to commit to this is blocking out just 2 days a month that I'm going to paint and sticking to it and making it as important as any other meeting because I know that my soul really needs it. So I hope that that helps.

I love that. I, yeah, I'm like, what is, what is my version of that? I think it's puzzles.

Oh really?

I didn't know that. This is such a weird thing, but I have been so like internally attracted to wanting to do a puzzle. And it's still like taking something and putting it together, but it's a bit more structured. Yeah. Um, where I'm like, I think starting with a blank canvas for me is like, oh my gosh, but like, what's my version of that? And I bought a puzzle.

I love that.

And I'm gonna do a puzzle this weekend.

Oh my God.

Okay, let's hold each other accountable.

We should just make a sweatshirt that says puzzles and paintings.

Our next swag.

What's your next in?

My next in is— I know this probably sounds so simple and maybe even odd to some of you, but eating dinner at a table. I and Matthew, we sometimes like, we'll all meal prep all of Sunday. Get all of our meals done. And so then we're eating out of meal prep containers. So you're just kind of like on the go. It's more mobile. You didn't just make it and it's on a plate and all of that. And I realized that our default is we'll warm up food and then we'll sit on the couch and we'll either watch TV, we'll be on our phones, we'll be on our computers. Some of it's productive, some of it's not, but we're not talking to each other.

Mm-hmm.

And the default is just like it's becoming too much of a routine. And so this year, our— my goal, which is now Matthew's goal, is we're eating dinner at the table. So I will tell you that last week we did it every single weeknight. Um, weekends are a bit different because it's like, I don't know, it's the weekend. We don't— I don't want rules on the weekend.

Yeah.

But during the week, I'm like, that's really important. So just us really having deeper conversations and Not kind of using a device as a distraction to our connection.

Yeah. Oh, I love that. That hit me because we don't do it all the time. Nick and I will also meal prep and then we'll do dinners together. But when we're brain fried from our days, that is our default. We're sitting on the couch, we are vegging out and watching TV. And it's so hard.

I totally get that. And so Matthew and I, we had a day like that last week. And so we're like, what do we do? We read, we read our books, we read our books and we ate. I love it.

At the kitchen table. That's perfect though.

You know, we're still like, maybe we don't want to talk, but like, do we really need another screen right now? Um, so anyways, that's just like one of my personal things I, I wanted to hold myself accountable for. And it's already led to like more planning, more discussions, like just more intention between us.

I love that. I might have to steal that one. I'll let you know how it goes. You're welcome to.

What's yours?

My next one is taking more time off. I feel like I did a good job with vacations, but I want to take more time off on regular work weeks. And so I want to challenge myself and explore what a 4-day work week would look like or a version of that for me. And I started reading the book 4-Day Work Week and it is absolutely fascinating. I've only been reading a portion of it, but it just really talks about how a lot of the things that we do steal our time, that we could be doing a lot of other things and picking up other hobbies. And this guy has just done all the most random things that you could possibly imagine. And so, yeah, I'm not putting very harsh, like, I'm going to do a 4-day work week. I just want to learn more about it, be curious about a flexible schedule. And do my own version of not working 8 to 12 hours every weekday when I'm not traveling for fun or for work.

Yeah, I love that. I'm excited to see you experiment more with that. And like, what does intentional time off look like outside of like a vacation, essentially?

Yeah, and I'm excited to try it.

Lead to like less burnout, just like more freedom, more time to paint, you know?

Yes, that's exactly what I'm replacing it with. I'm like, Friday afternoons is paint afternoons.

I love that. I love that. Um, my next one is more documentaries, YouTube, and historical fiction. So this kind of goes, um, with one of my outs around TV, but like escapism in general is one of my key coping mechanisms. So I'm like, okay, I want to— if I'm gonna be learn— if I'm gonna be watching TV or on my device, I'd actually like to like learn about someone's Real life. So can I watch a documentary? Can I learn— one of my, one of my goals this year is to, um, like learn how to do my makeup better and have different makeup looks based on like what the vibe is. So I want to lean into YouTube. Like the YouTube girlies, they get it. The makeup girlies, like they're amazing. And it's free. It's a free resource. So that, and then historical fiction. So like watching movies that are based on true stories that inspire you, that make you feel— granted, there's like going to be elements of fiction to them, but just really like leaning into that. Like, I don't know, not so much the like sci-fi, not real drama, like true crime, like some of the heavier things. Just like, okay, I want to learn, I want to enjoy this, but I also, I want to feel like I'm getting something from it. If I'm going to be spending my time on it.

Yeah, having more of a learning aspect to it where it's like you can learn something for fun or you can learn something out of being more a knowledgeable human being on history and all of that. I'm with you on that, especially with going to Europe more this year. I'm like, I cannot remember any of my history of Italy and Rome and Greece and Spain and all of that. And it's such a great thing that we take for granted. We just focus on our own little world. So I'm excited for you and all you're learning, all the new makeup looks that you'll have and you'll teach me. Thank you.

I have a lot to learn and I'm excited. Like, I just want to play with it and see where it goes. So what's up next for you?

So my last N is more challenging workouts. So I feel like last year towards the last half of it, I just got a little bit burnt out on the gym. I tried an app that I really like, but then didn't quite get me there. And then I started personal training in November, and I can already tell the difference in my mindset, like in my body for sure, but the impact that it has had in my mindset to have someone be like, actually, I think you can do 20 pounds more than what you say that you can do. And then I'm like, okay, freaked out, but someone's pushing me there and then doing it. And like Just having that mental side of a coach has been very beneficial to me. And I leave feeling empowered because it's like someone thinks that I can do better than what I think I can do. And then I deliver and then they're reassuring me and I'm like, I can go conquer the world at work now. This is great. So I am 11 personal training sessions in and continuing and I'm very excited. for what that will continue to look like working with him.

I'm proud of you. That's amazing.

Thank you.

Will you continue working with him into the future? You'll still just meet a couple times a week or is it a set amount?

I think right now I'm going to do it until the end of May because I'll probably be gone most of the summer and then just reevaluate how that looks. But I think just a solid 5 to 6 months of personal training and seeing where he can get me. Uh, will be great. And I just think that our bodies and our minds fluctuate so much, and we have to listen to when our body is craving a different type of workout. And so maybe when I come back, I won't want to be in a gym anymore, and I want to try something different, and I will. So, um, yeah, leaning more into that and being challenged feels really good right now.

I love that. I've been toying with the idea for a while. I finally started a different program. Um, I went back to the Sweat app. I was using the Alive app for a long time. And then just switched back to the Sweat app, and I'm really liking it. So I think like when you're in those ruts, just find ways to switch things up because sometimes you can get in a rut and you'll just stop because I'm like, yeah, I don't even want to do this anymore.

Like, this is so—

I still want to do this, I just need to like switch up something. So that's awesome. Um, my last one is launching programs, guides, content quickly to help people without overthinking it. I, I can really allow my strategic brain to get in the way, the perfectionism, the like, is this the best quality ever before I launch something? And I just don't think that this is the year for that for me. Um, maybe in the future I will like tap back into that skill that I have. Mm-hmm. It has hurt me more than it has helped me in the past couple years, to be honest with you. And I just want to get back to like, like I've been thinking about doing the deep reset again, which is a free program I did last January. And I started thinking about it early December, and I'm like, oh no, it's just going to be it's going to be so much work, yada yada yada. And then January first rolled around, and I was like, I kind of want to do this. And like again, like tapping back into that, this is fun. Let's have fun. Let's serve. So I just put out like, is anyone interested in this? And I got a really great response. And I was like, okay, I don't really want to do 3 weeks like I did last year. So I polled everyone. The majority, like 65% of people said, hey, have it be 2 weeks. Like let's do 2 weeks. I was like, great. So I think even just that, like thinking about it Putting it out there, seeing what resonates, create it. Amazing. It helps people. Um, and that's like the goal. So I just want more of that this year and not overthinking it and like letting myself get in the way. Because I think like I could be, I could be helping people more. Um, but I get in the way of that. And so I just then like push through that so that I can just focus on the women I want to help and less on like what it looks like. Like, I— this past year, this is like a little bit, a bit of a business thing, but, um, a coach that I follow, she had a— she had like a 6-figure launch from a Google Doc. She had no landing page, Astrid. She literally just threw her ideas on a Google Doc, sold spots for it, made 6 figures in a launch. Incredible. Like So I think that, not that it's about making 6 figures, I think it just shows that people don't actually care sometimes what it all looks like or how it's packaged. They paid for that program because they believed in her and they believed in what results that she could get them and they were bought into that. They didn't give a crap about whether it was on a shiny aesthetic landing page.

Yeah.

Or like sales page or whatever on the website. And I was like, okay, myth busted. So I think just like really leaning into the messiness of it again. And that's like a big in for me this year is like, I don't care how it looks. I just want to help people. And like letting the ego go really, because that's what it is for me.

I love that. I feel like whenever you have a background in marketing and branding, that can be a very hard thing to let go because it's a reflection, or we can think that it's a reflection of us as far as quality of work. Because we've always been measured by marketing and aesthetics and branding, but really like, what is the content? And also I love TikTok for this. A lot of people just post stuff and do the text and then that's it. And they sell Google Docs. It's like, we just want the raw information. So I love that for you. You have so many things to offer. And I love this version of Alexis that just hard launches it. This is your hard launching year.

This is my hard launch year. This is like the year of action. Can you feel it? Do I seem lighter than the last time we talked?

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I feel like people can feel that too. And that's like the best part. It's like, you're excited. I'm excited.

We're excited.

We're doing this together. That's amazing.

So that was the last one of my ins. Should we switch to outs?

Yes, let's do our outs. So mine are pretty simple, but my first out is— well, I guess my first one's not that simple, but my first out is not booking weddings 2 years out. And so ever since I started my business, I've always been at least a year and a half booked out. And a lot of times, like I booked my first 2025 wedding in January 2023, and it was for October 2025.

Wow.

And as my business has grown and as I've been getting a lot more international wedding opportunities and a lot more of those, I'm realizing the market that I want to work with actually plans things at a quicker timeframe. And a lot of times I'm either already booked or maxed out. And it's really hard to have worked to get those types of clients and those opportunities and then have to turn them down because you overplanned.

Mm-hmm.

So I think what I'm realizing is the strategy that worked for me at the beginning, which was great, it was securing income so far out and I know I'm getting these weddings and all of that. It doesn't work anymore because if I close my books and then I just wait things out until the new year, there will be more inquiries that will come, thankfully. And it's a privilege to be at that opportunity. But I think I just got stuck a little bit in like, what if I don't book? And I need the security of like people booking farther ahead and it feels really nice. And so I think just taking a little bit more of that quote unquote risk from a photography world sense. And yeah, and also it's like, I'm jumping into my 30s now. I don't know what life is going to look like a couple years from now. And it feels a little daunting to be like, yes, I will shoot your wedding in December of 2026. What if I don't want to at that point in time? So just taking things at a little bit of a slower pace and shifting things and going a little bit contrary to what my industry usually goes with.

She's a rebel.

I'm a rebel.

She's an independent. She's an independent artist.

Yes.

I love that. That is huge. Like, I just want to acknowledge that that is a shift in security and mindset.

Yeah.

Because I like knowing that, you know, security of Booking the security of income and leaning into like I know that the work is going to come because and I want to attract this kind of work and I know their like pace and process so it's going to have to look like this. That's huge for you. Like I'm so proud of you. I just want to like take a second.

Thank you. Thank you.

Not everybody might not know that, but like yeah, I'm very risk averse.

So yes, but thank you. I I'm I'm. excited to try it and we can always pivot. And that's what I've learned. Like, worst case, we pivot, we make ads, it'll be okay.

So yeah.

What is your first out?

My first out of 2024 is releasing could've, would've, and should've from my vocabulary. There is no point looking at the past and judging what I should have done. What I could have done differently, and I will not live there anymore. Like, there's just no point for you to look back and like criticize what you did or didn't do based on the information that you had. And I will sometimes allow myself to live there for too long, and it gets in the way of me taking action and like living in that excitement of something. Because I'm like, well, I— this, this better be the right time because last time you didn't do this or you should have done this. And it's like, okay, we're just gonna take each day, live in the present. We're gonna learn, obviously, but we're not gonna allow that like negative, critical, like self-talk to impact our ability to do it differently, to— or do it the same. And maybe the timing is just different. Maybe you're a different person now that you're trying it for the first time. Or the 3rd time or the 17th time. Like, I just think that the judgment that I put on myself and that we can put on ourselves really can get in the way of a lot of growth for us. So that is an out for 2024. No more would've, could've, should've.

I love that. I'm hearing like a theme of giving yourself a lot of grace throughout your ins and outs. Um, and that's beautiful to hear and that's hard to implement.

for everyone. Yeah.

And I love that. I'm gonna, I'm gonna steal that one because I feel like sometimes I'm too goal-oriented in the sense of being able to, to be like, well, let's analyze the heck out of this because I'm not gonna make that mistake again. I'm so scared of making that mistake again that we reevaluate that. And so that's such a beautiful intention, and I'm, I'm very proud of you for like where you've landed in your intentions and, and your mindset For the new year, giving yourself that grace, love, peace, and compassion that you absolutely deserve in every single day of your life.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I think it's hard to get to the end of the year. And again, I've said it a couple times already, but feeling successful on paper— well, sorry, looking successful on paper, but not feeling it. And that's an internal feeling. That's something like, wasn't clicking. And I just like stepping into this lighter— I don't know, just more perspective, I suppose. Um, I don't know, life is so short. And like, do I really want another year like 2023 where I was so hard on myself? No, I don't. I don't. I do not want that. So, um, what's your next? You go, you go next.

Um, my next one is over out is overthinking my content, leaving my post in drafts. So the embarrassing amount of drafts that I have on Instagram and on TikTok that I was like, oh, this is good, I'll just save it here. Like, I need to post this other thing first, and then it just never made it. And I'm like, I should have just posted it. Like, let's stop overthinking it. Um, and yeah, I think sometimes we box ourselves in too much or Um, just not having enough fun with it. So like, I don't feel like I psych myself out of posting because I feel like I have a specific strategy. It's just more I'll have ideas and not carve out the time to create that idea when I know it actually excites me to create that type of content and it's not a drainer. And so, yeah, so just creating more of that, not overthinking it and not leaving it in the drafts.

I love it. Get it out of draft mode.

Yeah.

Retweet. I'm not really a drafter. I'm like a save this idea or I'll take a lot of photos from different trips and never post them.

Um, save the videos that I have from weddings. I'm like, this will make a great reel or a video and never post it.

Literally same.

Yeah. That's, that's, I feel like notorious for anyone that creates content, but, um, we're going to be better in 2024 about it.

So something I'm actually doing to combat this is I want to still take photos, but take less variations of the same photo. So instead of Matthew taking 100 photos of me, I'm asking him to take like 15, and then I don't have decision fatigue and I just pick one.

I love that. I feel like being able to just narrow down that process also helps as a creator when you're posting to be like, okay, I don't have that many options. Here's what I want. Here's the wide shot. Here's the close-up. Here's the detail dump and go.

Literally, that was me. Like, we went to this coffee shop on Saturday to outline our goals. And I love that post. Thank you. I had to take like 10 pictures of me and we lined it up. We changed the lighting and I was like, okay, snap, snap, snap. And we're done. And I think like that is— I'm trying to identify things that block me. And that's a blocker. It's like, gosh, I've got 200 photos that now I have to go through, favorite. And then of the ones I favorite, I have to get rid of those because I can't post 10 photos, like 15 photos of me. I gotta narrow it down. And it's like, how do I just make this easy? Like, this is— I've, I've made it too complex.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and honestly, it's probably a habit that we've all kept from when we first started creating content where We felt a little bit insecure. We're like, just take a lot of it and I'll find one that's good in there. But now over time, you know what your angles are, you know what you like, you tell the person, they know too. And so you have less error. So it's just a habit.

Yeah, that's a great point. I need to break that habit. That's like a breaking habit.

You're a pro model, baby. You're good. Just give me 5 shots. 7 shots.

Let's go. Okay, my next one is excessive TV.

Yes.

I'm a TV girly and I love watching movies. I love watching TV. If there's a new show on, I've seen it. I've seen it in a day or two maybe. And I am just done binging content, done binging shows. Um, Matthew and I— some of these goals again that I have created have become Matthew's goals. Um, but He's he's in on it as well because he's like not he didn't grow up watching as much TV as I did. However, TV is very comforting to me. It's like a comfort. It's a it's a safety. It's like a little blanket. I love it so much. What little show? I'm gonna nestle in and I'm gonna turn on a little show and I'm gonna just like unplug from the world. It's the best feeling. But I don't want to lean into that as much this year, and so we have designated. Thursday nights as TV night, but Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, no TV. And then on the weekends, like, yeah, no rules. I don't— again, I do not like a lot of rules on the weekend. So it's like, hey, I can do 3 days without TV unless it's this, you know, a special occasion, like a, like a football game we want to watch, or like something that's like, you know, time-bound. But really leaning into that and not going to TV For comfort and more so like, can I read more? Can I watch a YouTube video about something I want to learn? Like, can I just plug into some of those things and not default to TV when I'm stressed or anxious or tired?

I love that boundary and that execution of these intentions because sometimes we'll make an intention but not realize what the blocker might be or what the action step could be to implement that. And so being able to designate like, okay, I want to eat less TV or eat— I want to watch less TV. We're going to do our Thursdays. This is a designated time for it. And I think sometimes we're too extremist with our goals and our ins and our outs where it's like, no more social media. It's like, all right, if you like it, just set a timer and say max 1 hour a day. Cool. Enjoy it. Then you're done when the timer goes off.

Yeah.

I love that. My next out is impulse shopping. And so I feel like I just have waves of this where I will have really good months, really good seasons where I'm like, I could continue going without shopping. And then I'll have a season where it feels like I don't have enough clothes or it feels like, oh, well, I'm really into my skincare now, so I want to level this up or my makeup or whatever it might be. And I'll find an excuse to rationalize the shopping or The purchase, I would say impulse purchasing. I don't buy like a ton of clothes as much as I used to anymore, but overall spending, I'd be like, oh, these lights for my bathroom. And so I've started to create a wishlist on my Notes app. And so every time that I want something, I add it to my wishlist. And now it's more like I really have to think through out of all these things that I've said in the past month that I want, Which one's top priority? Which one do I want to treat myself with? Which one do I still want? Because maybe it was just a momentary, like, this would make my life better, and actually it's not. And so I'm creating more boundaries around that by setting the wish list, thinking about it longer, and also obviously having a budget around it. Um, but just allowing myself to, to think on it a little bit longer than I used to.

I love that. Did you see what I literally just sent you right before we started recording from Money with Katie? Such a great follow, by the way, on Instagram and TikTok. Um, she just shared that that's like one of her goals this year is to do less impulse purchases. And so she, she's putting them on a wish list, like literally exactly what you just said.

Oh no way!

That's insane.

I did not see that. Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm inspired by that.

So I knew you and I had been talking about that, so I sent it to you and Lo and behold, you already have that as a goal. We love that.

Well, the amazing part is my boyfriend was like, okay, well share with me. Maybe like if I want to surprise you with something, I was like, done.

Oh, even better.

Yeah. So I've been like adding stuff. He's like, I noticed you added bathroom lights to this or whatever it might be. It's so fun to have that together. But also like sometimes for your birthday or Valentine's Day or whatever, people will ask, what do you want? And you draw a blank because you just buy yourself everything all the time. So yeah, we just need to stop instant gratification, and I'm really bad at that, especially if I can rationalize it with wellness or productivity or home decor. Like, those are my weak spots, and I need to call myself out on my rationalization of those.

I'm gonna take that from you because I'm inspired. It's something I've worked a lot on, and you know this, like, we both have. I I feel like we've both been on a pretty like intentional finance journey over the years together as friends. But I, I want to do that as well because I am traveling a lot this year, um, like personal travel, and I want to be able to like enjoy those trips. And those little purchases that you do add up, and I don't want it to take away from that. So, and the instant gratification thing is huge. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna do that. I want to try Create the wishlist.

Okay.

My next one is outs for anxiety around breaking my routine. So I have a little bit of anxiety when it comes to getting out of my routine or I'll judge myself for it or I'll— whenever we were home for the holidays, I was feeling super anxious around not keeping my journaling up and not keeping my movement up and just breaking some of those routines. And while this is something that I am mindful of, I want to release that pressure that I'm going to keep all of my routines as is when I'm traveling or my environment is disrupted. So it's like, maybe it's not a gym workout, but can we go for a 30-minute walk? Like just shifting what my normal routine is and how I can adapt that based on travel, based on visiting family. And so then it's not like, oh, I really— like one, self-judgment or like resentment. Like you almost resent the trip because you're out of your environment and you're like, oh, I just want to be home. I want to be back in my— do you ever feel like that towards the end of a trip? You're like, I just can't wait to get back into my routine.

Yeah.

Like I just got so quote unquote off track or whatever the language is around it. And I think that that routine can sometimes keep us from living in the present. And I work, we work really hard to enjoy life, go on trips, see family. I don't want to be thinking about my bubbles for the month when I'm with my family. And so I, or like when I'm on a trip. So that's something I'm personally working on. You know, there's like a level of accountability and a level of discipline. And then I also think like, There's a line where it was kind of taking away some of the joy of being present. And so I'm just— I want to work on that this year.

I love that. I, I relate to that a lot. And I feel like sometimes we've worked so hard to get ourselves out of certain habits and out of certain mindsets that then we're so protective of the things that we know protect those because we don't want to go back to where we used to be. And that is more of an emotional thing than it is the actual thing of you're going to miss one day. It just feels like self-betrayal. And I love that you're mentioning the reframe because it's true. One day or one week of things shifting doesn't mean that we're going back to our old selves. And maybe I'm speaking out of turn. As you were talking, that's how I related to it.

Totally.

And it was resonating with me of Yeah, it's hard whenever we feel like we work so hard to get here and now I have to give that up for a week. But it's necessary for the life that we want and enjoying the things in life and being flexible. It is. I'm so flexible.

Yeah, just less rigidity, being less rigid with the schedule.

Yeah, that actually leads into my last L, which is Not out is taking things too seriously, and I was relating to yours and to just kind of mesh it all together. Of I think that a lot of times my efficiency brain, my business brain bleeds into my personal life, bleeds into my days off where I want to maximize all the days and maximize all the time, and it just always feels like there's never enough time because that's. That's the mindset I've been in since I was 18 of always having to structure my days. And I'm realizing that's actually not who I want to be. I want to be very disciplined. I want to be very structured when it's needed. And I want to ebb and flow in the areas that require softness and require flexibility. And I never want people around me to feel like they're not enough or that we have to be so structured about time off and we have to— if it doesn't go according to plan, then I'm not happy. And that's something that I'm working on. I'm realizing that that habit, while it's benefited me really well in my professional career, I'm learning how to mold it in my personal life for the actual life that I want to live and the kind of person that I want to be. So that's where I'm at. Word vomit.

But I love— I mean, seriously though, I think that's a huge realization that You feel, because sometimes other people feel it, but it could also be something that you feel in those interactions. And it's like really taking a pulse on how do I want to feel when I'm off, you know, on vacation or with my family or with my partner. Like, if I'm stressed about this or I'm worried about this, like, I'm not present.

Yeah.

And so I, I totally, I relate to that very deeply. It's something that Is it's hard because being like achievers, being goal-oriented, we're always ideating. Like, yeah, I have an idea about this, I'm inspired by this. Like, it— you don't turn that off. And so I think it's just like being intentional about how that shows up when you're with people who are like, I just want to be with you. Yeah, I don't need to solve anything.

Release the expectation. Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes. That's big.

I love that. Look at us go. This is gonna be the best year ever.

I'm so proud of us. Me too.

I, I feel like being able to— this was a very interesting experience to kind of share the why behind each one. Because even while I love the trend, and I was inspired by it, I feel like going deeper in it in a podcast, even, even me sharing my own and sharing the why felt vulnerable and felt like Okay, here's a piece of my heart. And getting to hear the why behind yours was inspiring and was, yeah, just motivating to be like, actually, I really relate to that. I'm going to add that to mine as well. And so I hope that to everyone listening that you enjoyed this episode and that it motivated you to create some of your own ins and outs and intentions for the new year, to try softer and to try to give yourself some grace. While still creating the intentional life that you want as well.

I agree. I think it's a helpful exercise to do with yourself and maybe even a partner or a friend. And it can be anytime. It doesn't have to be this week, or it could be in, you know, the month of January, even in February, like whenever you're starting your new year. Um, going a bit deeper and sharing why these are important to you Also brings life to each individual piece. Like, it's, it's not something that's just inside you. You're like really explaining it. It was very therapeutic for me too. I have one more out.

Oh yeah, I'm so sorry.

It's okay. It's actually kind of funny because it's, it's staying quiet out of comfort. I'm like, let me speak up really quick. I have one more out. It's about speaking up.

Yes. Yes. Take the universe said, Alexis, we're going to practice that now.

So funny. No. So my last out is staying quiet out of comfort or insecurity. This doesn't show up in every area of my life, but there are certain areas that I really feel it flex itself. And I want to lean in and notice those moments and challenge myself to be my most authentic, Like energizing self. And that looks like me stepping up. It looks like me speaking up when I'm uncomfortable, when I disagree, when I have an idea, just not being so agreeable. I saw this online about— it was like a shared post. I put it on my story around the desire to be so agreeable. And like you want to be convenient for others. You want to be like low stress for others. And I think that while that can be helpful in terms of just like relationships and, you know, wanting to like have a healthy, you know, relationship, there's also aspects of like sometimes you're going to disagree and it's okay to be disagreeable.

Yeah.

Like you can disagree and you can speak up and Like, something that I'm trying to prioritize is my own comfort and not only the comfort of others.

Mm-hmm.

And so while I am in situations where I'm not speaking up, I am prioritizing someone else's comfort over mine. And it's like, it's, it's such— it's so situational, friends. Like, and then not to get into specifics, but It's like, okay, that's not fair. Like, that is, for me, when I walk away from those situations, it's the highest form of self-betrayal is when I'm not actually like prioritizing my voice. And so that's really something I want to lean into this, um, this year in a different way and just take up a bit more space in areas where I have been insecure. Yeah.

Wow, what a powerful way to wrap this up and what a powerful intention because sometimes that is— like you said, it's like we feel the self-betrayal and at the same time, whenever we are able to show up like that, we walk away so proud of ourselves.

Yeah.

And being able to know we can take up the space just as much as they're taking up the space. Disagreeing doesn't mean a fight. I think a lot of times we've grown up with this preconceived idea that if we disagree, it's going to be dramatic, it's going to be a massive fight, it's going to be this big thing. It can simply just be, oh, thank you for sharing your point of view. This is my point of view. That's really interesting. Wow, we had a great discussion. I still don't agree, but I hear you and I see where you're coming from. And that's that.

Yeah.

And that's also something that I am learning. And I think having that intention, I really admire you for that because I hate to admit that there's been a lot of times where I prefer to stay silent just because I don't want to hold the space of if there is a fight, if there is a discomfort, if there is something. And like you said, it's situational. And sometimes I'm like, I'm standing up, I don't care.

Mm-hmm.

But with other people, it just feels heavy and I'm tired of like holding heavy things. So I admire you for making that such a big intention for this year and committing that to yourself. And that's such a beautiful way to love yourself.

Thank you. Thank you. I noticed that sometimes it'll show up in the form of, that's going to take a lot of effort. Do I want to use the energy to do it? And then when I do, I always I'm like, okay, I'm glad I at least said my piece. I'm glad I said my point of view. And so I am proving to myself in those situations like, yes, it is worth it.

Yeah.

It's worth the extra 5 minutes to write the response. It's worth the extra, you know, 10 minutes in the conversation to talk it out. It is worth it. And I think that's where like you get to be more vulnerable, you get to go deeper with people, and you get to live a life that feels like it's yours versus living a life that's like Yeah. Like, while, yes, I think we're here to serve and to be kind and to be empathetic to other people, we're also not doormats. And so it's like really like that line between the two. And I, I'm learning the older that I get, like, I wanna, I wanna know where that line is and I wanna know what side of it I'm on.

Yeah.

And just being more direct and being more clear and more concise. And less wishy-washy with how I feel or where I want to use my voice. And so yeah, I think there's an element of this that feels like standing in my power. And I'm excited about that. And how do I do that in a way that's kind and in a way that's wrapped in leadership and compassion without past me being like, slay the enemy. Have you heard that audio on TikTok?

Yes. Yes. I love it.

Anyways, I'm working on that.

I love that. I'm so proud of you. I feel like there's so many beautiful elements to your intentions, and I'm proud of you too. Yeah, yeah.

I feel like this is something where you're like prioritizing yourself in a whole new way. It is. Yeah, I feel like you've like prioritized your business and getting that to an amazing place of growth, and now I feel like this is the year of like Astrid, and it's also beautiful because it's the year that you turn thirty.

Yes, yes, that's so beautiful. I didn't catch that theme, but you're so right. This is like yeah, baby.

This year is about you.

This year is about me. I got a shit after the year.

Twenty twenty three was my year for my birthday, and this year is your year for your birthday. You get to have the whole year.

We're so we're such considerate best friends. We're like you know let's let's. Let's give each other the light each year. And then this is— the last year was your year. This is my year.

Thank you for being born a year later than me.

You're welcome. I knew I needed to be born a year later. Well, friends, thank you so much for tuning in today. We are so excited to be back on a schedule and be back to recording and chatting with you all. And if this episode resonated with you, we would love to— if you left us a review on iTunes and then on Spotify, you can Mark the reviews for the 5 stars. And if you're listening as well and want to share with a friend or share to your Instagram stories, we would love that. And you can connect with us on Instagram @inbetween.pod, or you can connect with me @astridjohannaphoto.

Or me @alexistechmiller. And let me tell you, between the podcast Instagram and Astrid and I's Instagram, This year is about to be lit. Like, I think, I think the cap has been busted off. I'm very excited about all the different content we're going to create and just ways to connect with you and serve you more. So thank you so much for being here, kicking off 2024 together. And tag us in your ins and outs. If you do the exercise and you share it, tag us at inbetween.pod. Would love to see them. But in the meantime, we will see you next week.