From Uncertain to Expecting Twins: An Honest Journey into Motherhood

Welcome to the In Between Podcast, a show for women navigating the space between where they are and where they want to be.

This is your go-to holistic business podcast where we dive into strategies, mindset, habits, and of course, making a meaningful income so you can live your dream life.

I'm Astrid, a multi-six-figure luxury wedding photographer and a former corporate marketing girly.

And I'm Alexis with 10+ years in tech as a senior brand partnerships manager and business coach. Think of us as your business besties cheering you on as you level up. Let's get into it. Hello and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. It is one half of the pod, Alexis, and the other half, Astrid.

And today is a very special episode because our girlfriend Alexis has some very special news to share with you all.

It's very exciting. We're pregnant! I'm a mommy.

A mamacita. Congratulations. I could not be happier for you. This has been the highlight of my summer, just like hearing your news, being able to witness you navigate this, and now being able to finally share with our podcast community. So I'm so happy for you.

It feels so good to have everybody know now. And, and not only are we pregnant, but if you have not seen social media, I'm pregnant with twins. We are having multiples. Yeah, it's insane. I feel, I feel blessed. It feels very surreal. I'm very excited. There's also an equal part of me that's scared and nervous about this process, but it has truly been one of the happiest times of my my life and in our marriage and just experiencing this for the first time together and like learning so much about myself too and really processing this news and what it, what it means for me and my career and the kind of mom I want to be and the way we want to raise these 2 kids. And it's just been crazy. Um, I— as we're recording right now and as you're listening, I'm 15 weeks along, so I'm officially in my second trimester. And yeah, I found out at 5 weeks, so I've known for the last 2 and a half months. And it's crazy because it feels to me like I've been pregnant forever because I just found out relatively pretty early.

Yeah.

And I'm like, I'm only 15 weeks and I have, you know, months and months to go, but it feels really beautiful to celebrate this news with everyone in our lives and in our community online. So it's been really beautiful and I feel very, very loved.

Oh, I love seeing how happy you are, how grounded you are in it. And I've always admired how intentional you are in every area of your life, your career, your relationship, your business, absolutely everything. And as you've shared on the podcast before, you've also been very intentional about The question around motherhood. And I have loved having those conversations with you when you navigated like, hey, I think that we don't want to have kids, and then navigating, I think we want to explore that conversation and see what that would look like. And now year 3 of the podcast, she's having babies. So walk us through that experience for you, uh, what that was like and how you're feeling now about it looking back.

Yeah, I am glad we're starting the conversation here because I think it will contextualize so much of the rest of what we're going to talk through and all the little details. But, you know, motherhood was never really straightforward for me. I, I think there are women that immediately know that they want to be a mom and they have that clarity and they have that desire and it's It's for some women, it's their main goal in life is to be a mom. And I think that's beautiful. I think that clarity is beautiful. Like, you know what you want. For me, that felt a little bit harder for me to commit to. I never had that 100% clarity that this is what I wanted, that it was for me. And I had a lot of fears around, will I be a good mom? Will I, will I be able to prioritize them the way that they need to? Am I, Am I at a stage in my life where I can be selfless enough and maybe even sacrifice parts of myself, parts of my growth and my career in order to give kids the focus and the love and the attention that they need in those developmental years? And there is a part of me that selfishly, in my 20s and now in my early 30s, feeling like I'm in the prime of my career. And so it felt like this, this tug of war internally of, I don't want to give up so much of what I've worked hard for as a career woman to then build a family. And I know that for so many women listening, you know, you might have a lot of different opinions and a lot of different thoughts on this. And I think that's amazing because we all get to choose, um, what we want. But for me, it felt like I had to choose one or the other. And I think through the process of the last year and a lot of conversations I've had with women who are still building their careers and they're present with their families, I feel like I got this insight of like, maybe I really can do both. And I know it's going to look different. I know I'm going to have to say no to different things.

Yeah.

At the same time, I'm saying no to a career opportunity so I can say yes to my family. And that, that felt a lot more like, oh yeah, I could, I would definitely do that. So I think just talking to some of my mentors and women in my life who I really admire where they're at in their career, who also have 2, 3, 4 children. And I'm like, wow, okay. Yeah, there are some years there that are really hard, but at the same time, they're feeling really fulfilled in motherhood and they're also feeling fulfilled in their career. And I get to decide what that looks like for me. I get to choose what that path looks like. And I think that left me feeling quite empowered.

Mm-hmm.

And that's just me and my career side. But then also Matthew and I, for several years together as a couple, Just weren't sure if it's something that we wanted together. Like, and I think it got to a point last year where I'm being very, very transparent. You know, we're at that point, you know, we're 31. We had the careers we wanted. We were and are making salaries we've always wanted to make. We have this amazing group of friends. We travel. We have this accessibility to the lifestyle that we want. We feel healed. Like there's so much that we've worked on. And there was this point for me last year where I kind of felt like, this is it. Like, this is it. Not that we can't build more, grow more, make more, have more career advancements, check more travel destinations off the list. But I had to ask myself, like, if this is it, And this is it for the rest of our lives together as a couple until we die. Is this enough? Like, does this does this fulfill us to the brim, or is there more for us to tap into? And is there anything missing? And that's when I was like, oh, okay, this is interesting because I thought that. I wanted to have all these things before I had kids, which is not not always possible, not always realistic. And I looked at Matthew and I said, "I think I think I might want a family other than you and Piper. You know, like you're my family, but I think I might want to build a family with you." And he and this is after like three years of us talking about not having kids. And he was like, okay, well, let's sit with this. Let's talk about it more. Let's make a decision here in the next year of what we want because we are teetering into mid-thirties land and we just want to be prepared. And so we ended up reading a book together called The Baby Decision, and it's written by a therapist. I highly recommend it, and it goes through a lot of the questions of if you choose to not have children and if you choose to have children. And it's quite unbiased. I do not feel like she pushes you one way or another, but a lot of the fears that we have around parenthood stem from our childhood and also stem from our fears around who we're going to be as parents.

Mm-hmm.

And you can look at that head on and decide, am I letting fear get in the way of me becoming a parent, or am I truly choosing something that is best for me?

Hmm.

I realized I was like, oh, fear has been guiding a lot of this discussion for both of us. And so we kind of dismantled that, spent some time, you know, started going to couples therapy. That was a topic that we talked through and ended up last year deciding that we did in fact want to have kids and want to start a family. And we, I remember walking into the year in January. You remember this being like we're gonna probably start trying in Q4. We want to do it. LOL corporate corporate Alexis. Um, I knew that my mom had had issues with fertility and getting pregnant. I knew that my nana had had some issues with her secondary and third child getting pregnant, and so because of that context. I was like, I'm gonna, you know, we're gonna go do fertility testing and I want to go see what's going on with me and what's going on with you, Matthew. And we're gonna do that this summer. And then maybe in Q4, we have enough information to start trying to have kids. Long story short, we got pregnant in May and did not need fertility testing, which is, you know, I feel very grateful to be in a place with my health and Matthew's health where it just happened. when it was supposed to happen. And now we're here. Oh my goodness.

What a beautiful journey. And even as your best friend, I have seen you walk through so many of these milestones, but to hear you recap it, I can't tell you how proud of you I am.

Thank you.

Because the thing that kept coming up for me was you kept following your intuition, which is really beautiful because Perhaps the strong pull to not have kids at one point was your intuition saying you're not ready. And for some women, that will lead them to, you're never going to be— that's just not your path. And that's okay.

Absolutely.

But it seems like for you, it was your intuition guiding you like, no, not yet. I still want more here and more here. And you went after those things to where your intuition led you to, hey, actually, let's open this door and see what that looks like. And I feel like as women, even like I've always wanted to be a mom, And I think that's just something that I've seen as really beautiful. I've wanted to grow a family, but I think there's a difference between making that decision and then making that decision intentionally.

Yes.

So whether anyone that's listening to this, whether you are deciding to not have kids or to have kids, I feel like the big lesson to learn from here and that I love that we can take away from your journey is, are we asking ourselves the right questions? Right? Like, what do you— if you do want to have kids, what do you want to do and fulfill before that? And that you will feel prepared. And sometimes you just can't prepare, but at the same time, you're able to, if you are planning for it, fulfill some of those things you might want to do with your partner prior to, or in your career, or establish your relationship, maybe start couples therapy where you feel like you're in a grounded state.

Yeah.

And then if you're feeling the tug towards, I don't think having kids is for me, Rather than just shutting that door and just being so scared of making that decision, but you feel the pull, can we ask some questions that you can then just confidently make that decision and be like, hey, that's not for me. And these are the answers I give myself. Because you just got to give yourself those questions and within your partnership. So thank you for sharing that beautiful journey.

Yeah, of course. And I think something I was learning through reading that book, the baby decision and going through couples therapy is that indecision is still a decision. And I think we were pushing it and pushing it and pushing it and being like, yeah, probably not, probably not, probably not. And that's okay. Indecision isn't a bad thing. I think it's absolutely okay to live in that space for a time period until you get to a place where you are sure of what you want, whether that's to have kids or to not have kids. And I fully support Both. Like, I think that you need to make a decision that is truly best for you knowing yourself, but with your eyes wide open. And by like seeking that clarity, and as you mentioned, asking yourself those questions. And I think that's when I realized, oh, this indecision or like, well, if it happens, it happens, is, is, is like passive decision-making.

Mm-hmm.

And I wanted to take an active role. In this decision, and so fast forward to May. Oh my gosh! What was it? It was like May 25th. I was a week late, and I remember texting you being like, "I was in Italy." Yeah, you were in Italy. I was like, "I'm seven days late, and I leave for Mexico for our best friend's 30th birthday tomorrow." And like me and my other best friend Millie were talking about spicy margs, and you know we're like so excited to drink tequila in Mexico. And I'm like, this feels irresponsible. I and then right after that I was going to London for work and Mallorca with you, and then France, and then New York, and then Michigan. And like I had this lineup, and I knew that if I was pregnant, I wanted to take that test. in the comfort of my own home with my husband with me. And I was about to not be with him for, you know, several weeks. So we take the test. I actually, I knew that we were going to take the test that evening, but I had this pit in my stomach all day. And I texted him at like 1:00 PM after lunch. And I said, all right, that's it. I can't wait any longer. I need you to come home right now. And I never do that.

Yeah.

I'm never like, can you come home From work for me. Like, I totally respect his workspace and all that, but I was like, I don't know if you understand, like, I'm so anxious. I need to take this test. I need to know right now. And so he's like, yeah, I have a meeting here in person with my team, and then I'll be home right after. I'll leave early. I was like, thanks. So he gets home. I'm upstairs just sitting on the bed and I'm like, I got to take this test. He's like, okay. So I obviously take the test and put the little cap on, flip it over and set the timer for 5 minutes. And Matt and I are just staring at each other and we're talking and we're like, it feels very surreal. Like whether you are planning for that or not planning for that, that moment of waiting for a pregnancy test is like, it's a big range of emotions. And so anyways, we flipped the test over. 2 lines, baby. 2 dark lines. 2 dark lines. And yeah, foreshadowing twins.

Yes.

Um, 2 dark lines. And we are absolutely in shock, like very surreal. Oh my gosh. We're excited. We're scared. We're like, this is really happening. And also now that, you know, this like context of like not being sure and then it's here. It's like, wow, okay, this is monumental. And I remember we just, we laid in bed and just stared at each other and we laughed and we cried and we were like, this is insane. We're going to be parents. Like we are parents right now. There's, there's literally a little baby forming. This is nuts. Um, so then the next day we get on a plane and we fly to Mexico and, um, off, off starts my first trimester.

Yeah.

Of being abroad and everything that, that ensues from there. So yeah, it was a, a very like beautiful day, but I am, I loved seeing from the moment that Matthew found out, he was immediately like in it with me.

Mm-hmm.

And that, that comfort that you feel from your partner and that like, I have your back and any reaction you have is okay. And like any range of emotions you have is okay.

Mm-hmm.

I just felt so supported from him and, and me to him too, cuz it's, It's his child too, and he has his own feelings and processing as well. So it was really cool to go through that together.

That is so beautiful. I love whenever you sent me the video, which I don't know if you'll be sharing on socials or not, but that video is just beautiful to see the range of emotions that goes through his face and your face, and then the immediate, like, yeah, like protective hug that Matthew gives you. And that also, as your friend, it's like, Easing because you are witnessing your friend be loved and supported through a very monumental season as well. And yeah, I love this story so much. So walk me through, because in very Alexis fashion, you find out you're pregnant and then you're on a plane.

On a plane, baby.

Starting the tour. We're taking these babies all over the world. They are well traveled already. How was that experience? experience to then be around people? Um, did you also like— how did your body feel throughout those weeks of like traveling?

Yeah.

Um, what was all of that like?

Yeah, I think immediately going to Mexico that night, like obviously we were meeting all of our friends at the resort, all flying from different places. And that night I ordered a virgin mojito and Millie, who I had been talking of like, we're gonna have spicy margs and chata tequila. She like kind of side eyes me. She also would never say anything, but she was kind of like, huh, interesting. Like you've been talking this up and then you get a virgin mojito. And then that night, um, we went around the table and I, we just have such an amazing, like intentional group of friends. One of our, uh, Justin asked me, what was the highlight of your week? And one of our friends had just taken a really big financial test because he works in finance in London. And he was talking to us about the test and how intense it was. And he was so glad to have taken it. And I look at Matt and he looks at me and he kind of like nods. And so I was like, okay. So I get on my phone and I zoom in on the two positive pregnancy tests. And it got to us, and I was like, well, we took we took a pretty big test this week as well. And I flip over my camera and show both of the positive pregnancy tests, and the whole table just stands up in the restaurant. They're like, oh my gosh! Like, and then the rest of the week I was mama. Like, it was hilarious. It was so cute. And like having Your friends be so excited and supporting, and you feed off of that, right? Like there's nothing like telling people that you're close with in your life that you're expecting, and it's just like so fun to see their reaction and have them support you. So then that, and then I was in London for a work event. I had a speaking event and a panel, and I had to kind of lock in. Like I don't know how to explain it, but I I probably got about four hours of sleep every night I was in London. I had a really bad. I had really bad insomnia.

Mm-hmm.

Week 5 and 6, um, of my pregnancy. And I also started to feel a little nauseous mid-meal. So I wasn't nauseous throughout the day, but it was like, as I was eating, my nausea would hit me and it would almost like stop me mid-meal. Like, oh, I can't eat anymore. So I was like in a work meeting with someone and I was mid-meal and I just feel my stomach start to like bubble up. I was like, cool, cool, cool. We're not going to eat anymore. Um, But it was, it was really nice to kind of go into career land. Like, hey, I'm, I'm pregnant and I can still do this.

Yeah.

I can still go to London. I can still speak. I can get around. I can solo travel. Like, I, this is exactly what I wanted and I needed to prove to myself almost immediately that this is possible for me and I can do it. And then being able, like, it was so hard to keep this from you for a week because I was in Mexico and then, um, London. And you and I were texting and you're like, is it negative? Is it positive? You know, like, what's going on? And then I was like, it's negative.

You little liar. Okay, let me back up to that moment because whenever you were texting me that you were nervous and you thought you might be pregnant, I was like freaking out. I'm in Florence. There's a time change. And I'm like, do you need me to call you? I was like, I remember specifically when I read the text, I was like walking in the streets in Florence. We were headed to dinner. And then I read that and I was like, Nick, I might need you to like just walk away. I was like, I might need to FaceTime Alexis. Like she's having an emergency.

And he was like, okay, okay, I was just like going to the store.

And you're like, no, I'm okay, I'm okay. I was like, okay, I'll be on standby. And then it was weird because you weren't texting me back.

Like, I didn't text you back. I didn't, I didn't, I like kind of went silent.

Yes, you went silent. And I know you so well. If you go silent, you're avoiding or something big is happening. And if it was positive, if it was negative, you would have texted me right away and be like, oh, everything's good. And just like kept chatting about Florence. So I remember that, or about life. And I remember that night, like, going to bed, checking my phone one last time to see if he texted me. And I turn around and tell Nick, I'm like, I think she's pregnant. I was like, she hasn't texted me back. It's late. It's been so many hours. I'm worried. And you never texted me. I followed up the next morning. I was like, so what's the test?

You're like, dude, was it positive or negative? And I was like, oh, so sorry, I got caught up in packing for Mexico. Like, it's negative. And I Just like you are one, you are one of the most important people in my life, and I needed to see your face. Like I needed to talk to you in person. I needed to, I needed to like tell you in real life. And I, even though it was hard to wait a week, like being able to tell you in Mallorca was everything to me. So I was like, this sucks, but I, this is important for me to tell her in, in person. So yeah, the first day in Mallorca. I, I, when I am keeping a secret from someone I love, I'm weird.

Yes, you are.

Tell them, tell them. I'm like, I'm weird. I don't know how to explain it. I'm just like not myself.

Yeah, she looked tired, mad, um, annoyed. I was like, I don't know, is it too hot here? Because you get annoyed, you get— you act like that when you're like hungry or hot. Those are, I would say, like the 2 things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, I guess it's kind of toasty here. And you know, long travel days and Getting car rental and stuff. So I was like, it must just be like, you know, she's tired from all the travel she's already had. But you were being so weird. And I was like, okay, like, we'll rest it, we'll rest up. So day 1, we arrive at the hotel. Please continue. Yes.

I get checked in. I'm like, I'm gonna throw up. Not because I'm nauseous, because I'm like, I have a snooze. How do I want to tell her? And when am I going to tell her? And in what way? And I want it to be on video. What am I going to do? And we just traveled all day. We do not look cute. We do not look cute, and we're gonna go to this like low-key casual restaurant in this small town for dinner. And so we're not dressing up. And so I'm like, okay, I want to get this on video. Let me bring my tripod upstairs to your room, and we'll go out on the balcony and we'll do an outfit video. And so I come in with a tripod, and I was like, I want to do an outfit video. And you're like, okay. Like you didn't shoot it down, but you weren't. You were like, we don't look good. Like sure.

So we go on the balcony, and I set up the tripod.

Pod, and I like hit record, and we were all doing our like outfit of the day kind of vibe. And then I was like, say Alexis is pregnant, and you're like, we lost it.

Yeah, shout out to Jansen. She was there as well.

Yes, um, I was very special.

So sweet, so sweet. I remember we were setting up for like doing the video because we were in Mallorca for my 30th. And Jansen is one of my best friends, one of our close friends. So I just like automatically was going to go in the middle of us, but you went in the middle and I was like, okay, like whatever. Like that's different, but okay.

So like if it's about you, it's 100% about you for me. But the video, you were like, I want to be in the middle. And I was like, just a second. Just wait.

Just wait. And I just wanted to like hug both of you, you know, and have you on each side. And you're like, your feet were grounded. Your body was immovable.

I was like, just wait a second, please. I need to tell you something very important.

Yeah, no, it was honestly perfect because having that video, that reaction, being able to spend that night just like asking you all the questions, tell me everything, like the download, how it happened, how you had been feeling in Mexico, like just all the things that you were thinking was one of my favorite memories. And then we called her— well, we thought it was Juan, so we called the baby little Lizzy.

Yeah, because week like 5 and 6 on the Flo app, the baby kind of looks a little bit like a lizard, like it has like a little tail. It's so cute. So me, you, Jansen, and Riley called, called the baby Lizzy all week or all the whole trip, and it was so funny. And Jansen too is in residency to be a doctor, and she's worked OB quite a lot. And at that point of the trip, she had helped deliver 70+ babies. And so being able to be on the trip and room with her I felt so at ease because it is, it is nerve-wracking to be 6, 7 weeks pregnant away from home, away from a hospital.

Yeah.

You know, this is my first pregnancy. I have no idea what my experience is going to be like. And so there was a lot of that anxiety as well. And I want to normalize, like, whenever you first find out you're pregnant and you haven't had a sonogram yet or an ultrasound because you're not far along yet, for one, like I had a lot of like, am I okay? Am I okay? And I didn't realize in your first trimester how much you cramp. You have quite a lot of uterine cramping because, you know, your placenta is being built and the baby's implanting and your uterus is also growing and stretching. And so it's just normal for you to cramp. But I didn't know that. And so, you know, your thoughts start to spiral a lot. And it was really grounding to have her there with me and just answer all those random questions and being able to tell Riley in person was hilarious. 'Cause we're also the whole trip, like, we can't wait to like go clubbing and, you know, and all of that, which we still did. I just drank mocktails the entire time and had a lot of fun, but it was a different trip because I also told, I told everybody, I was like, I saved you guys so much money. You did. Being pregnant, because I'm also an instigator. So I was like, I saved you guys bottle service. I know I saved y'all some money.

Yes. Absolutely. That was so fun. And I love looking back and knowing there wasn't 4 people total at my Mallorca birthday. There was 6 little humans.

Yeah.

Because we had the twins there that we had the whole time. We had 2 little tiny humans.

I know.

So walk us through. Okay. You knew you were pregnant. You thought you had one baby. Yeah. Walk us through the absolutely shocking news of finding out that you were having twins.

Yes.

And like how processing that news also went.

Yeah. So I get back from Europe, I'm home for 2, I, and I, I know that all I wanna do at this stage, cuz I'm week 9, all I wanna do is just make my doctor's appointment. But I had another week of travel in the States after I got back from Europe. And so then I went to New York for 2 days to film for, uh, Circle. And then I was home for a day and then I went to Michigan for my husband's best friend's wedding. So by the time we make it to the appointment, we're week 10, and I'm like, okay, I still haven't had my period. And so like, we're, we're still rocking. Like, this is great. We're week 10. I just want to make sure everything's okay. I was so nervous heading into that first appointment, just hearing their heartbeat for the first time. Like, I just want to see them. I just want to know that they're okay. And so this is like TMI for anyone that doesn't want to listen to this, just skip ahead like 30 seconds. Or I did not know that the majority of your pregnancy confirmation, like first ultrasound appointments are vaginal, not topical. And so I went in and it's a vaginal ultrasound because they're relatively pretty small. And so they want to be able to get right up into the uterus and be able to see them. So we go in, she sticks it in, Matt's right there with me. We got the screen. He's holding my hand. I'm like, okay, baby, I just want to hear this heartbeat. Singular. And I'm looking at the screen and I'm like, I see it, but I don't know what I'm seeing because this is my first time experiencing this. And my doctor who was doing the ultrasound, she's like, oh, I have news for you. There's 2 in here. And Matt and I were like, what? Uh, come again? I cannot even explain to you the Absolute shock that we were in because twins don't run in our family. This was so unexpected. Genuinely, like had no idea that this was even a possibility. Like we had joked about it in Mallorca. My sister-in-law Leah had joked about it like, "Oh, what if it's twins?" Like you know, and you just joke about things like that. Had no idea that that was even in our future, and I laughed like uncomfortably, like silent. Like I was just like, for like 2 minutes on this, on the like, you know, table. And she's like, I know it's quite a shock. I'm going to let you guys process this and then we'll do some imaging. And so she did imaging and measured them. We got to hear both of their heartbeats and leaving that appointment was, I was so excited. Like I went from shock To pure excitement of like, of course this is going to be my journey. Like I last this time last year was very unsure about motherhood, and now the universe and God are like, you were unsure, and then you were sure, and so we've given you two at the same time. And it was just crazy. It was very surreal.

We got home.

We called my parents. We called Matt's parents and told them the news because they knew we were pregnant. But, you know, they were like, how'd your, you know, how'd your appointment go? And then I FaceTimed you. And I remember in the sonogram when they're really small, they just kind of look like 2 little beans. And if you haven't had an ultrasound before and you're not used to looking at them, you don't really know what you're looking at.

Yeah.

And so I FaceTimed you and I was like, look at this. She's like, oh my gosh, the baby. And I was like, what do you see? And you were like, The baby! Like, I see it. And I kind of put my 2 fingers next to each of the sacs, and you're like, what? You're like, no, are you serious? Like, there's twins? And I was like, yeah. And it was just— that news is so fun to share with people because you're in shock, they're in shock. Um, but one of the benefits and something I'm really grateful for about this twin pregnancy Which I have learned a lot about. There's lots of different ways that twins form in the female body, which is really interesting. And ours are called didi twins, D-I-D-I, and it stands for— there's like a longer medical term for both of the words, but our doctor like shortened it. She's like, they're didi twins, which is really great. This is the lowest risk twin pregnancy that you can have, which means that both babies have their own amniotic sac. And they also each have their own placenta, so they're not fighting over space in the same sac, and they're also not fighting over nutrients from the same placenta. But that also means that I'm growing two placentas too to support both babies, and so that really explained why I was so tired, and I had a lot of I had an increased appetite that felt very unexplainable to me. Like I was not satiated; I could not get enough food, and it wasn't to the point where like you know how you eat. So much that you kind of feel sick. Like, that would never even happen to me. I was just eating so much and I never felt full. And I was also very, very tired and very exhausted. And I had a bit of nausea earlier in the pregnancy, but thankfully never got sick and have, you know, fingers crossed, have never thrown up from the pregnancy. So I told that to my doctor and she's like, it's crazy that you're having die-die twins and you aren't more sick because usually When you have this much, when you have your hormones growing 2 babies as well as 2 placentas, it's very common because of that hormone fluctuation to be quite ill. Mm-hmm. And so I just feel really blessed, like this whole pregnancy and everything about it has felt like a really big blessing. And, uh, we've gotten all of our blood tests back and, you know, we're having a boy and a girl, which is really exciting.

Yeah.

And the, so far all of the, um, chromosome testing, and they do lots of extra testing with twins because there's a lot of extra risks and a lot of extra things that are possible with twin pregnancies. And so while that's been quite nerve-wracking, and I've definitely had, you know, lots of ups and downs with my anxiety throughout the pregnancy, all that has come back really positive, low risk, normal, which I'm feeling really grateful for. So yeah. I will say processing twins took me about a week to get to it. Like, I was excited and I was excited to share the news with our family and our close friends. But I think once I really sat with it, I became very overwhelmed. You know, I'm breastfeeding too. We're getting up in the middle of the night and we're taking care of two. How do we tandem feed? Which strollers? Like I like automatically went in, and I was also thinking about my birth. Like okay, now I'm delivering two, and a lot of times twins can be born anytime in that third trimester. They're known to come early, and usually doctors won't let you go past 36 weeks. So even though my due date's January 23rd, they're probably going to be born in December. And then my doctor has me on a travel ban my whole third trimester. So after 28 weeks. We can't leave Houston. So there was a lot of that of like, I'm scared, I'm excited, this feels really heavy. There's a lot of— any pregnancy is beautiful, and there's also a lot of risks with you as mom and baby of what can happen. And then my doctor, which is her job, educating me on all the additional risks that can happen with twin pregnancies. You know, I definitely had some spiral days. I definitely had some very like Hard days, you know, sobbing, just like trying to figure out how to process how our life was going to change. And also, like, one felt like a big deal, and two, at the same time, it felt— how I was processing it is it like felt impossible. It's like, how, how can I do this? And I think through giving myself space and giving myself room to talk to Matthew about how I was feeling. Now I feel very empowered. We will figure it out. Our village is showing up for us. Like, I know that my people will be there. And also like, I need to feel confident going into this because these kids not only are growing in me, but also like they feed off of my energy.

Mm-hmm.

And I, I wanna feel like control isn't the right word because I feel like so much of this is like out of my control. But I want to feel empowered and I want to feel like I can handle this. And if I tell myself every day, I can't do this, this is too much. I can't do this. This is too much. What do I need to do to feel empowered? Okay. I need to get help. Maybe we get a night nurse. Maybe we, like, there are options for us to feel like we have support in Houston, very far from friends and family, and they can come in and visit and help for a week at a time.

Mm-hmm.

It's, they're not down the road. And so how can we make sure that we have what we need to feel successful as parents so that we can take care of these kids? And also, I'm just thinking about me postpartum. I have no idea what that's gonna look like or what kind of birth I'm gonna have. And so just feeling like, hey, we, we don't have to do this all on our own. We can ask for help. We can. Have support, and it's important for me to keep my mindset in check. Yeah, and that has been the biggest realization throughout this pregnancy because what I tell myself is what's influencing how I feel about it all. So if I tell myself like I can't do this, this is too much, like one, two, like getting myself worked up and feeling very overwhelmed, which is normal, and I still let myself. feel those things, but I don't let myself like stay there. I think that's been helpful for me to hold myself accountable and really important for me. So I know I'm going to ebb and flow there, and that's definitely not perfect, but it is something that's been helping me realize that like I get to set the tone.

Yeah.

And I get to ask for help and And I'm not by myself. I'm not doing any of this alone.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you for sharing that. It wasn't just like all the highs of finding out about the pregnancy, but also like that very real fear that comes with it, those very real questions that come with it. And I have a few girlfriends as well that are pregnant in this season, and something that I continuously keep hearing is how scared they are. And they're all in different paths of life, different types of marriages, different scenarios. And no matter how prepared a woman has been, all of them have experienced fear. And I feel like for anyone that's listening to this that is maybe pregnant, being able to hear from somebody else, like, yes, this is normal, is very comforting as well and could be very comforting. And so I applaud you. And something that was also running through my mind as you were sharing this is you sound very laser-focused, almost like when you're training for a marathon, you have this big life event.

Yes.

Of course, one of the biggest ones you could ever have. But I think there's a difference between like, oh, well, this is just happening to me, rather than when you choose to sign up for a marathon, you're like, okay, how can I be the best athlete, still give myself some grace, still ebb and flow and be present, but I'm focused. I choose this. What is going to be my path here? And I love hearing that very empowering side of this conversation is for anyone that is choosing to grow their family and maybe you're pregnant or choosing to be, or you'll be pregnant in the future, how can you make that such an empowering journey for you? And thinking about what do you need as a mom and vocalizing those things and vocalizing those needs to your partner, to your community. And I love what you said about thinking outside the box of there are options. We can't just box ourselves into what is around us right now or what we know about, but how can we brainstorm, reach out to professionals and be able to get that wisdom as well?

Help. Yeah, and I am noticing too, like, this process with twins, and I think it's, I think it's probably accurate for any pregnancy or any new mom. The thought of continuing life after just the way you're living it now feels— it's hard for me to picture. I will be honest. I thought, oh, I'm gonna keep living my life. I'm gonna keep traveling. We're gonna keep, we're gonna keep doing whatever we're doing now. And I think with the twins news, it was hard for me to process what does travel look like with 2 infants and 2, 2 6-month-olds? And are we going to outgrow my car? Like, there's so many things that I have, I tried to jump to. And I just, I want to give myself room to, to evolve however I want to evolve. I know that there are things I still want to do. We still want to travel with the kids, but. Maybe that looks different in the first couple of years. Maybe we aren't going abroad as much, but we're doing lots of things domestically and we're taking them on road trips. And like, I don't want to stop doing things and stop experiencing life, but also I do want to feel like I can give myself room to adjust based on how I'm feeling versus this pressure where non-pregnant me was like, this is what, this is the kind of mom I'm going to be. I'm still going to take these kids to Italy. I'm still going to be doing— and I'm like, maybe that's true, but I want to give myself room to not hold myself to this standard where now my circumstances have changed.

Yeah.

And maybe I feel differently. Maybe I have a lot of postpartum anxiety. Like, I don't, I don't know. And so I want to give myself a lot of grace and room to change my mind about things.

Mm-hmm.

And I think that's another thing I'm learning of just I obviously want to feel strongly about like, this is the way that we want to raise them, but maybe the way we do it and how it takes shape looks a little differently.

Yeah.

And that's okay too. So yeah, it's been, it's been interesting. Like even just little things like how we want to raise them and values and conversations we want to have with them and how we want to handle tantrums. And like, there's like so many things to think about and As someone that gets overstimulated, I'm like, how? Okay, we got 2 babies crying or upset. I'm like, okay, how, how am I gonna keep calm and keep my peace? And like, is that possible?

Like, I'm just— Noise-canceling headphones for your registry. Yeah.

Yeah. Literally. Well, I have, I have a pair. Um, yeah, just, just like talking through that and thinking through that and letting that take shape and knowing I'm not gonna get it right all the time, but But I will say this like club that I've joined called motherhood has been really cool. I have a few friends in my life that are also pregnant and like talking with them. I have, I have a friend, a couple of friends that are like really close to where I'm at. Um, like they're, they're right around the same week as me. And so it's like cool to be able to, okay, where are you at and how are you feeling and how are you processing this? And, and what are you putting on your baby registry and like being able to talk through that, but then also like. How are you handling maternity leave? And how are you feeling about juggling maternity leave with, you know, the postpartum? And I'm very grateful. My work gives me 3 months. And then once I found out I was having twins, I asked my boss if I could take an additional month. So I'm going to have 4 months off of work, which feels really good. I feel like I'm going to need that extra time, but I also think that I, I don't know how I feel, but I think I will be ready to go back to work and ready to jump back into the creative and the execution side of me. So I'm excited to see what that looks like next year. I know y'all will be— I'm bringing you along with it. Um, you will be right there learning as I am about how to handle that. But yeah, I want to use this time to be really transparent for women who want To navigate career and motherhood at the same time. And I, I really respect stay-at-home moms a lot. I respect women that do part-time like that, that work full-time and, and just figuring out how that'll take shape for me as well. Um, so yeah, it's been a beautiful, a beautiful journey. And I also feel like. And I listen to Mari Llewellyn, who has the Pursuit of Wellness podcast. She's pregnant right now as well. And we're like about— I'm about a month, not behind, but she's about a month ahead of me in her due date. And it's been really cool to watch her go through IVF and go through 2 years of fertility work with her and her husband and hearing her talk about the journey of becoming a mom after several months and years not sure if she was going to be able to. And she said something on her podcast that I think is really powerful that I just wanted to say here, um, is if you are struggling with infertility or fertility and it's something that seeing me or seeing my content or listening to me talk about it is triggering to you or It's something that you just need to have space from. Like, I just want to encourage you to fill your feed with things that are life-giving and lighthearted for you right now. And if you need to unfollow, mute, you know, obviously not every single episode of this podcast is going to be about pregnancy. I promise you. Um, because I want— I'm more multidimensional than that. And like, I want to keep talking about business and all that. But I just, I get it, you know, I really get it for people that need to take breaks and unfollow folks depending on what's going on in, in their lives. So yeah, I just felt like I wanted to share that because I heard her share that on her podcast and I was like, yeah, you know, there are a lot of people who are experiencing different phases of this process. And I just want to, I just wanted to call that out and let you know that I I am with you and do whatever is best for you.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And we will definitely, like any episode that we're talking about pregnancy specific, we will definitely label that as well. So if that is triggering to you, you can just skip right along and move on to the other episodes that we'll have. Um, but thank you for sharing this beautiful, beautiful journey with us. I love getting the full recap in, in one sitting of From finding out about the twins to now knowing it's like a boy and a girl. And seeing that moment was so surreal for me of just like capturing you guys open that basket with boy and girl. And just as your best friend, like seeing you get your dream life, like I knew that you wanted a boy and a girl so much. And on the way there, you both said you thought it was like 2 boys.

Yeah.

And just knowing that you have so much favor, you have— you're exactly where you need to be. You're going to be an amazing mom. And you, up to this point, God has like confirmed that he's got your back. You know, you've got— you've had such a lovely first trimester, great testing, great things. And I know it's going to continue to be that way. And I'm so proud of you. And I just love seeing how far you've come. I know that we've met each other at a very low point in our lives, and I feel like everything that you've worked through on your own, like in your mental health, in who you are, in your confidence, and all these things are now showing up in such a beautiful way in this new area of your lives that is motherhood, that you're able to Just show up so strong, and I just love you for that. And I guess this is just my love note on the podcast, but truly, truly you.

You have been like such a gift throughout this pregnancy. You've texted me before every appointment. You know, you've you've been there through my anxieties and like I'm nervous about this, and I just appreciate how much you've shown up for me and been there for me and and validated. Every high and low that I've had, and and Astrid was the only one that knew the genders, and she's the one that took care of the floral arrangements, and and obviously shot our pregnancy announcement and our gender reveal, along with our friend Riley who did the video, which turned out so good. Like you've you have an amazing poker face too, by the way, because I was on FaceTime with her because she logged into my my medical patient portal to see the results. Because I could see them in there, but like I had to click a link. And so I was like, this is a link that you click. I had so much willpower. I was like, I will not, I will not look at this. And you saw it and you're like, okay, I see them with like the straightest face ever. And I was like, are we excited? What's going on? Like, I was so impressed.

Thank you. Thank you. I am very proud of that wild card in my pocket because when I need to lock her in, I do. And he's great. And I knew the thing you wanted the most was to have that surprise in that moment. And so there was no sliver of me that was going to let you have it. And I know this is crazy, but I know you can read me like a book.

Yeah.

So if I didn't lock in and go into business mode, like this is just a work meeting, you would be able to read me. So I was like, okay, great. And then when we ended that FaceTime, I was literally screaming in my house and just having all the reactions. Oh my gosh. Um, but it's so fun to be on this side of things, see you navigate like such a fun season of life and be there for you. And I can't wait for my new little besties.

I know. I can't wait for you to meet them and for them to meet their auntie. And I also feel like one last thing before we wrap up, through this experience, I realized how much I I did not show up for my pregnant friends the way that I wish I would have. Like, I have learned so much of like how to really lean in, and watching my friends lean in and really be there for me, I'm like, gosh, I did not do this for some of my close friends. I feel terrible. Like, I think when you're not in it and you're not in that headspace where you want to have kids or are having kids or planning it, trying to be there for your friends that are pregnant It just feels like this is very exciting and I'm very happy for you. This is what you want, but I don't know what questions to ask. I don't, I don't know how to, how much do you want to hear from me? Is this too much? Am I texting you too much? Like, I don't want to be annoying, but then if I don't text you, I don't want you to not feel supported. So I feel like this has been a really good learning opportunity for me to definitely show up differently in the future for my friends that are pregnant. Um, and also I've literally, I literally apologized to some of my friends. Like I apologized to my sister-in-law Leah. I was like, I was not there for you the way that I, that I should have been, the way that I wanted to be. And now it's like we text every other day because she's also pregnant. And so it's like this bond that we have now, but I, I know that I could have still been there for her even if I wasn't pregnant. I just didn't really know how to do that. And so I wish I would have leaned in a bit more. And, and a big thing I'm learning about is like asking about the mom. How are you? How are your hormones doing? You know, how is your anxiety? Are you feeling okay? Um, what are you worried about? Like, what are you excited for? And even a lot of that postpartum stuff, I think people come to see the baby, people get the gifts for the baby, but like really learning the mom needs so much support.

Mm-hmm.

Can you get the mom some fuzzy slippers and a robe and her favorite candy? And like, yeah, you're there to see the baby cuz that's very exciting, but really like focusing on how do you be there for her and what does she need and what comfort or DoorDash her favorite food.

Yeah.

That she needs in that time. And like the baby's reliant on her. Yeah. And a lot of times so much of the focus goes on the babies, which is exciting, but then the mom sometimes feels Really like unseen or not taken care of or not comforted in the way that so much of the focus goes on the child. And so that's been a really big learning opportunity for me. And even now with my pregnant friends, like I'm getting them things off the registry for the baby, but I'm getting them things for them. Like I'm getting them maternity stuff or like breastfeeding stuff or cute robes for them to feel comforted. Like, so that, that's been something I. Literally never thought of, like, never didn't even come a thought in my mind. And now I'm like, what am I going to get them to make them feel like comfy and happy? And my brain did not work that way. And now all I do is think about my pregnant mom friends.

Yes. Yes. Well, I love that you brought this up because it is hard when you're going from a friend group where you all didn't have kids and then suddenly people start having kids. And if you don't know I mean, it just feels very overwhelming. And so if you don't have a kid and you're not pregnant, it's like, I don't know what to do with this. Right. So what would be your advice to friends that aren't pregnant, don't have kids and have a best friend or a close friend that is pregnant? What are 3 things they could do to support that one friend in the first trimester?

Yeah. I would say if you can, Try to keep track of when their appointments are, and like leave yourself a calendar invite. Shoot them a quick text like, "Hey, just thinking of you today. Don't have to respond, but I hope everything goes well today." And like just those little moments to let you know that they're thinking of you, and there's anxiety going into every appointment, at least for me. And so when my friends, when you text me and you remember, I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I feel so loved!" And like it just—it's so simple, but it's. It's very meaningful. And then I would also say like having FaceTimes every couple of weeks with my friends, catching them up, like they're learning about things that are going on with me. Obviously I'm asking them about them. It's not all about me and my pregnancy, but just knowing that I can like see their face and they're excited and getting to tell them different news around their gender or around, you know, the fact that we were having twins, like telling my friends that so that they also felt included. Was really important, and so I think if there's ways that you can try to show up and just be excited for your friends, you know, with different news that they're sharing. And then I have got had a few friends send me really sweet, including you, like thoughtful mom gifts. You got me this really cute card deck that was like on mindfulness and thoughtfulness through pregnancy, and then you got me some really amazing belly oil. And so there's like. Little things like that for me that I honestly hadn't bought myself. Like I wasn't thinking about that. And so if there are a few things that you can research that might be good for a mom in her first or second trimester, I think that would be really thoughtful. And then, um, another thing is like when baby does come or for like when the mom is preparing for postpartum, if there are things that you can do and research like for the mom. Um, I found these amazing maternity breastfeeding friendly pajamas. It's a top, bottom, and then a really comfortable robe. And I just bought that for, um, someone in my life that's about to have a baby. And I'm like, yes, like, like, I'm like, I love your kid, but this is for you. Like just letting them know that I'm there and that I know that this is going to be exciting, but also a hard, maybe challenging season too. Um, I think that's important. So if you can give your time as well, but I think little texts, little gifts— I'm a words of affirmation and gifts, acts of like, um, love language person though. So those are just my recommendations, but honestly, ask ChatGPT. I'm sure ChatGPT will have some great suggestions for you too.

Yes, yes, those are all amazing suggestions, and I feel like at the end of the day, it's just How can we not be intimidated by such a big life event going on in your friend's life?

Yeah.

And even just like ask them, like, if you don't know where to go, just be like, hey, how can I support you this week? And they'll let you know. Maybe they just want to vent. Maybe they just want their favorite snack. Um, they'll let you know what it is that they want. But I can't wait to hear more about your journey, be able to see where life takes you guys these next few months as you prepare to bring the twins home, and it's gonna be so special. We'll definitely be keeping you all updated on here. Every once in a while she'll pop in and let us know what's new with the twins and her and the family. Um, but I am so happy that we took this episode to share such big life news for you.

Thanks.

And all the depth that goes into it, that it is influenced by motherhood, That includes also like career aspect, like, um, partnership aspect, and impacts your life. So yeah, such a fun episode.

Thank you. Thank you for wanting to record this. And it's so fun. Like, I haven't really talked about it in one sitting like this, so I can't wait to listen back to this and just like hear it from that, that perspective. But I'm so excited, excited to take you all on this journey with me and Thank you for being here. I'm really looking forward to seeing how my life and career and business changes and evolves over the next couple of years. And just honestly, really peaceful and feeling very grounded at this particular stage in the journey. So thank y'all for being here. If you want to connect with us, um, uh, oh my gosh, if you want to connect with us on Instagram, I was like, what am I supposed to say? What social media platform? If you want to connect with us on Instagram, you can do that at inbetween.pod. And if you want to connect with me personally, if you're going through any level of this journey, would love to be there for you and support you, cheer you on. My Instagram handle is at Alexis Teichmiller.

And if you want to connect with me, my Instagram handle is at Astra Johanna Photo. We adore you all so, so much, and we will catch you next time.