Social Media Boundaries: Growing Your Brand While Keeping Your Life Private

Welcome to The In Between Podcast, a show for women navigating the space between where they are and where they want to be.

This is your go-to holistic business podcast where we dive into strategies, mindset, habits, and of course, making a meaningful income so you can live your dream life.

I'm Astrid, a multi-six-figure luxury wedding photographer and a former corporate marketing girly.

And I'm Alexis with 10+ years in tech as a senior brand partnerships manager and business coach. Think of us as your business besties cheering you on as you level up. Let's get into it. Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. This is one half of the pod, Alexis.

And the other half, Astrid. And today I am so excited for our conversation. We are going to be discussing how do we build an online presence while still honoring some of our personal boundaries, like how to do that intentionally and grow our business. And not feel like we have to expose absolutely everything about our lives. And I just think there's so many different elements on social media front that has changed in the past 5 years, even since COVID And I'm excited to dive into this topic with you.

Me too. I think it's an important one as, you know, whether you're a business owner or you're a side hustler, or you're just someone who really enjoys sharing their life online, it can be difficult to know what your boundaries are and like really staying true to yourself while also taking care of your mental health. I've just noticed that sometimes when I share more, I'm like, oh, okay, this is coming from a place of anxiety. And like I have to kind of check in with myself. And so this topic is meant for us to kind of be exploratory, share some of our points of view, and hopefully just give you some things to think through as you are growing your social media presence without sacrificing, you know, your sanity, your privacy, your mental health, uh, while also staying authentic. So, uh, before we get into that, let's do some quick life updates. What's up? What's new? What's going on?

All right. Well, on my end, um, I went to a baseball game this past Sunday. My sweet little nephew, he's like 10 years old and he just like FaceTimed me one day and was like, hey, there's this game I really want to go to. Will you take me? So I was like, yes, absolutely. Like, this is the cutest thing ever. So we went and we had so much fun. My boyfriend and I took him and it was just the cutest thing because I don't understand. I like have watched baseball maybe twice in my life.

It was like an MLB game. It was the Cardinals.

Yes.

Not like a Little League baseball game.

Oh, yes.

Like, you're like, I went to a baseball game and I'm like, but like, it was like a Major League Baseball game.

Yes. Yes. We did not go to the local Little League. But yeah, my boyfriend actually played college baseball, and so he was able to just explain a lot of baseball things that I did. Yeah, he did college basketball and baseball.

Okay, I knew basketball, but I didn't know baseball. Okay, sorry, continue.

Yeah, fun fact. So, yeah, so he was loving it. And then David, my little nephew, is so into sports, so they were just vibing together. David was asking all the questions. I'm like, I'm just happy you're here because I would not be able to answer. any of this at all. So yeah, we just had a really good time. And then this past week, my boyfriend and I got asked to be in a styled shoot for a photographer friend that is training her team as well. And it was our first time in front of the camera together. We had so much fun. We loved it. He has never really done like a full session or anything like that. And so I was a little protective of it before doing this session. Um, I just had never booked one because I was like, well, I want him to have a good experience and know what sessions can actually feel like and not feel posed and stiff or anything like that. So anyway, the team did incredible. We had the best time. He was like, this was so fun. I loved it. We like left feeling just so connected with each other and present. So it was a blast. And what else? Um, yeah, this weekend I am getting my life together. So I just feel so behind on absolutely everything.

Yeah.

Um, so that's what I'll be doing Easter weekend.

Honestly, same. This weekend I am doing something very similar. We are having a very low-key weekend. I'm doing errands, like just getting things done. I love that you both had that beautiful experience. Together, like doing the photo shoot. I— Matthew and I have gotten to experience that with you. And it's like such a connective feeling. And it's like a beautiful way to express your relationship and be creative and have fun. And I saw the sneak peeks and I was like, oh my gosh, y'all are models. I was like, wow, wow, wow, jaw on the floor. Gorgeous, gorgeous. So congrats on that. And they look so good. Okay. What's new in my life? Well, a couple of really big career highlights the last couple of weeks. Went to New York City, filmed with a production agency hired by a major news outlet, and they're filming a special project with Circle, and got to be interviewed. And it was really interesting sitting in the interviewee seat. Like I usually am interviewing other people for my job and for podcasts and things like that. And even for our virtual summits. And so being the one, like they're asking me questions and for soundbites and for like film, you need to have your answers be as concise as possible because they're looking for that like clip, like those viral clips that you see on social that make you want to listen to a podcast or make you want to go watch someone's YouTube video. They're trying to create that kind of like soundbite, same kind of strategy with an interview. So I and as you know, you listen to the podcast, I'm a yapper. You know, I was like, they're like, okay, can you say it like this but shorter? And I was like, okay. So we had to do that a couple of times, and it was harder than I thought it would be just because it was a different kind of way of trying to be more succinct.

Mm-hmm.

But overall had such a great time. And then one of my best friends, Jess, flew in and we had the best time in New York City. We had like 48 hours of just girl time, shopping, very relaxed as well. And we went to this like, um, this cold, like a contrast therapy lounge, which you guys know I'm obsessed with right now. It's so annoying. It's like, oh, ice baths. But they are really great and they're fantastic for your body and your mental health. Um, and so we Did cold plunge and sauna and shopped and ate, and it was so good. And then we shot some fun things for the launch of my newsletter. So that was really cool. And it was so fun to be back in a creative kind of environment. Jess and I have been creating and shooting content since we were like 22. And now I'm about to turn 32.

Aw.

And it was so reminiscent. She was directing me and she's like, do this, do this. I was like, oh my gosh, this reminds me of us in our early 20s.

Aw.

It was so fun. But yeah, and then hosted a 2-day virtual summit for Circle this week and we had over 13,000 people registered with thousands of people live. And it was such a great— another career highlight, our biggest summit yet, and had the most fun teaching and Putting together programming for creators and business owners, just like we do here on the podcast. So all in all, great vibes. Um, my birthday's next week and my best friends, you, Kate, and Jess, are coming into town and I have the best like girly weekend planned. And then we're going to meet up with some of my Houston girlfriends and it's just going to be so good. So really looking forward to that. On the in-between front, So we always start every episode with some life updates and then sharing what we're in between. Do you have yours? What are you in between right now?

Whew. Okay. Um, well, first of all, I cannot wait to celebrate you next weekend. Literally, I feel like it's gonna be your 2 worlds colliding, finally meeting all the girlies from Houston that I get to hear about.

I'm so excited.

So freaking fun. So freaking fun. And so proud of you. I feel like every week you have a career new mountain climbed. Thank you, babe.

I appreciate it.

Um, on the in-between front, what I am currently in between— okay, um, so last weekend I experienced some pretty more on the severe front of anxiety, and it was mostly caused by just things in the business. And I'm good now, but at the moment it was like 4 to 5 days maybe almost a whole week where I just felt I could not disconnect. And I think that was really hard for me because I've had even more challenging times in my business and I've worked really hard to be able to tap into that. Like, okay, yes, this is on my mind and this is heavy, but how can I disconnect? And that moment to disconnect feels like a breather where I come up for air and I get to step away. And just do things that have nothing to do with business and then come back in with a little bit more of a refreshed mind. And this was the first time where I could not disconnect. It was the only thing I could think about. I could not enjoy a Netflix show. I could not— I woke up and I felt super anxious. My heart was racing super, super fast. My boyfriend stopped me at one point and he's like, hey babe, what do you need right now? Would it make you feel better if you worked right now? I was like, no, that's not what I need. But he could tell that I was just not fully there. And anyway, it was one of those things where I think sometimes there's not necessarily a solution for the anxiety. I think prescriptive would be like, take a step away from things and relax and everything. And I did, and it still would not go away. And I walked and did all the things, and it just would not go away. And that almost made me feel a little bit crazy in the moment because I'm like, I'm doing all the things. Why is it not working? And it's just frustrating. So anyway, had not happened in quite a few years, and I just chose to give myself some grace. And I did walk away with some learning opportunities from it of just how sometimes when there's other people involved in certain scenarios that I need to solve, my own people-pleasing mindset just wants things solved now, and I can't let that go. But if it's an issue within the business that doesn't have to do with another person, it's easy for me to disconnect. So that's what I'm currently in between, is realizing, one, sometimes anxiety just ebbs and flows and I can't necessarily control it and I can't do something about it. But then on the flip side, I think that was probably one of the things that I need to work on going forward, is how to let go and be okay with maybe some lingering things with people while they need time. And space to figure stuff out. And so, yeah, so for anyone out there that is running a business and experiences anxiety because your plate is full, because you have a challenge going on with a client, whatever it looks like, just know you're not alone. And also just reminding yourself, I think what helped me and something that you encouraged me through was, I've been here before, I've gotten through it, I'll be okay. I figured it out. It's going to be okay. Not to be super optimistic, but at the same time, it will pass and this is just momentary. And so that really helped me to bring my anxiety from 100% to 70% and get to enjoy my day. And yeah, it was just heavier emotionally. I just Fell off the face of the earth and just focused on working online or working on my business. But yeah, doing good now though.

Yeah, good. Sometimes you do have to go dark and just kind of focus on what's right in front of you and not feel like— it's like when you're experiencing anxiety in your business and then you throw all the personal communication and being online and being on social, which is what we're talking about today, it can just feel very overwhelming. So I'm glad that you did step away and focus on what you needed. And yeah, that reminder that it's temporary, but it doesn't feel like that when you're in it. You know, you like— it sometimes can feel very all-consuming. So I'm glad that you're feeling better now, and I'm sorry that you have been experiencing that, you know, the last week or so. And I know that you are a systems girly, and it, it can feel frustrating when you are leaning on your systems and you're leaning on your habits and your mindset things and all the things that you're like, You figured out and it's not working, and you're like, "What's wrong?" Like, but I honestly like this is such an annoying answer, and I have to remind myself of this too. But it's like, okay, tomorrow is a new day, and like I I'm not gonna probably feel like this tomorrow. Or if I do, maybe it feels a little different. Maybe it feels a little lighter, and just like trying to look forward, even though when you're in it, it can be really hard. So. I hope that you continue to feel better and feel more centered.

Yes. Thank you so much. What are you currently in between?

Well, it's similar in a way because I've talked a lot this year about the amount of anxiety I've had with work and career stuff and business as well. And something that I've been embracing more of, and there's this motivational speaker, writer called Alan Watts. I highly recommend just Googling Alan Watts on YouTube and just listening to his YouTube or him on Spotify. But it's basically one of his like main ethos is like happiness is not something that you achieve. It's something that you like, it's a state of being. And he has a whole ethos on letting go and not trying to be in control all the time, or just ever, like relinquish control over the uncontrollables. And it has really been speaking to me, to my anxiety, as well as this like churning and this like deep-seated need to always be winning. And to always be achieving, and like I've already won. That doesn't mean that I give up. It doesn't mean that I don't start, don't stop creating things. It's also just looking at like, wow, this one life I have, I'm proud of it, and I've won, and I'm happy, and I'm, I feel grounded, and I feel honestly like really grateful. And I think when I allow myself to tap into that mindset, I make better decisions. I'm kinder to myself. I create better work. I'm not coming at my work from a place of scarcity or from this like deep need to prove myself or like, I need this. I don't want to need anything. I don't want to need the next accomplishment or the next whatever it is. Like, And coming from a place where I've worked really hard to achieve a lot of these career highlights that we're talking about on the podcast, okay, they're beautiful and I'm grateful as heck for them. And also, I don't need them. And I think that sense of self that I am reconnecting with and I'm tapping into, I guess, another layer of confidence has been really interesting. And it's been kind of eye-opening to me actually about how much I have really come at achievement and work and even creativity as a means to an end to unlock more happiness and to unlock more meaning and to unlock this like, okay, I've made it, right? Like, I'm okay.

Mm-hmm.

And I am okay with or without those things. And those things don't make me, they don't define me. They're just part of my journey, and yes, I've worked hard for them, but they're also not the point. Like so, I'm really working through a lot of that stuff. I know that was very like heady, but yeah, that's what I'm in between right now.

Thank you for sharing that. I think that is a solid reminder that we all need to have. Like we've already made it, and as entrepreneurs, I feel like our brains are just wired in a different way where we're constantly thinking about the next thing and how to optimize, and even just. as people that want to be better and leave a legacy. And at one point we were at the starting line and we're like, oh, we have all these things to work through and we did all the work. And then it's almost like we just lean on that because we've gotten the reward before to just keep going. But I love this question that you pose of like, what if I've already made it and I can just be grateful here while still growing and being present? And it's such an important reminder to just Stop and be grateful for how far we've come, really. That is— yeah, thank you for truly sharing that because I feel like I needed to hear that. And we just ebb and flow so much through those thoughts of just the next thing and the next thing. And yeah, I've been thinking through that too. It was more on relationship side where The Anxious Love Coach, the podcast that we listen to, She talks about that and she's like, you will have a lot of like entrepreneurs or high achievers will experience relationship anxiety because you're constantly looking for the next best thing until you can optimize it and optimizing everything. But what would happen if you stop optimizing everything? And so yeah, I'm really grateful you shared that and I need to look him up. What was his name?

Alan Watts. And it's Watts with 2 Ts.

Okay. Hmm. I'll listen to it while I'm cleaning my house this weekend.

Honestly, like, I think it would be so good just to like— I was listening to it while I was working yesterday and I was like, yeah, okay, I have already won. And like, it just raises my frequency. I'm like, yeah, okay, this feels really good. Where is it? Yes.

Okay.

Well, thank you. And I'm glad that that was helpful for you. And hopefully for you listening, you know, maybe you needed to hear that too. We're all on a journey of Accepting and loving ourselves exactly where we are. All right, building an authentic online presence while maintaining personal boundaries, and I'm excited for this. Let's let's dig in. So we know that being online is a part of running a business, right? Like having a social media presence, building it for your brand. For your business or you're building a personal brand, it is a part of like your marketing strategy. And at this point, like there's no question about that, right? We know like there is an intense need to be on social media in order to be discovered, in order for your brand to have visibility and to also reach a customer base outside of your area. So like you got to be on social. And I think that more now than ever, there is an expectation from consumers and from followers to want the most authentic version of something. Like, we can sniff out a sales pitch. We can sniff out an ad a mile away. We're like, oh, scroll. Like, our brain is so tuned in to, oh, this is authentic. This is a story. This is a real person. This is gritty. This is like, I like what I'm seeing. Yeah. And we're seeing a really big shift over the last couple of years away from this very polished, like kind of like almost too private where it's like, oh, I don't even know anything about you and I'm supposed to buy something from you. I'm like, ah, nevermind. Unless you're a big brand, right? Like Glossier or Rhode Beauty or something like that. But even them, like they rely on brand partnerships and influencers to build this level of authenticity and this level of like humanity. And human to human part of like the buying process. So because this expectation has been placed, I think a lot of business owners feel like, okay, I gotta like share my whole life. I gotta share all the things. I gotta be my most authentic self. And there's some pressure, I think, at times of like, what do I share? What do I not share? So that's kind of where we're coming from with this conversation is finding the balance between, yes, this desire to show up. And I know authentic is such a buzzword, but we're gonna use it like that. I mean, that it is what it is at this point. Like, you can just tell when someone's not being authentic. Um, people are craving that while also making sure that you're staying true to your own boundaries.

Um, I love this conversation because I've been online— oh wow, literally forever. I mean, if I were to go back, I started a MySpace when I was like freaking 11 years old, which I had no business in doing. But I have That was my first form of social media. And more seriously, since 2012, I feel like I've been more actively posting online, then shifted to more the business owner side of things. And I think for a while there, there was this big push of like, you have to share deep, vulnerable, like your deepest, darkest secret online so that you can connect with people. And I think that one, if you choose to share that, that's beautiful. I know that people's very vulnerable posts have helped me through some very hard seasons and have encouraged me and be like, okay, so that's what's behind the curtain. I'm not doing terrible. Thank you for sharing that. And also, I think the difference is pressure. Do you feel like there's this pressure that you have to share these very vulnerable things, or are you wanting to share some of the behind the scenes of your business and some of those struggles and how you get all this stuff from point A to point B because you genuinely want to share this journey with your following and your people? And so that was a big thing for me where even going through different seasons of my life, I have in a way become more private. I don't share as many vulnerable posts as I used to. And even when I started dating my current boyfriend, he is not a secret, but it is private. I don't share a lot about our relationship online. I post him every once in a while and that's it. I don't share where we're at. Now, in my past relationship, I shared everything we were learning. And honestly, from a photographer, wedding photographer perspective, It did help me build an audience at that point in time. And now I don't think that it's lacking in my strategy. And I think if anything of this conversation, I feel like this to give you the freedom that you don't have this pressure to share everything in your life. We get to choose now how you create a more well-rounded brand. So I'm excited to, to dive into this more.

Yeah, I'm glad you brought this up because very similarly to you back in 20— basically like my time in Nashville leading into 2020. So 2015 to 2020, I was blogging. I was sharing a lot online, very long posts, like what I was learning in my 20s and my career and my confidence and my body. I mean, I don't know if you remember this time in my life, but I was writing novels on the internet.

And I read every single one of them. I love them.

Thank you very much. And I That's the creative writing minor in me. I love creative writing. I love it. I think it's a beautiful form of expression. And at that point in time, back to your point, you mentioned pressure. Another way to look at it is what's your intention? What is your intention of it? And for me, it was an outlet and I loved it. And then 2020 happened. And even 2019, 2020, I was going through a lot of mental health things. I was in— I was struggling with a lot of very heavy depression. And I was in very, like, long depressive cycles. And so the thought of trying to write online and try to share when I was just trying to manage my day-to-day life felt very, very heavy. And so over the last couple of years, and even now, I feel like I've gotten a lot more private. And I still share certain things, but I don't share as maybe much as I used to. And this because right now this version of me feels the most authentic. And I think if I tried to go back and share and go a lot more in depth on certain areas of my life, I don't think it would feel as organic to me right now. And I think the reason why I want to start a newsletter is because that's where I want to put it. And I even think like if you do have a deep desire to share and be more open, are there certain pockets or certain segments of your audience that are like, that's perfect for that. That's perfect for your newsletter. But maybe it's not something that you, you know, put on social media. It's up to you. Right. But just knowing that you have options, like, hey, you have a desire to be authentic or to share the behind the scenes of a specific story in your business. There are areas where you can do that on your website, on your email list. But maybe it's not something that you feel like the pressure you have to do on, on social.

Absolutely. And I think that's the beauty of social media is you can decide how deep or how wide you can go with your audience. Obviously it depends on your brand and what you've created and it depends on your business because I mean, there's, there's people that I follow on TikTok that do their, get, you know, day in the life and I am locked in on it. Um, and some of them share so many details of it. And others I find fascinating that they'll do daily days in the lives, but they— it's like a 10% of their life, if that makes sense. And this goes to show, like, as you're creating your social media strategy, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. It doesn't have to be, no, I'm a private person, so I'm only going to post my product. You can still share glimpses of your day that you feel comfortable with, things that you're working through. Um, while maintaining that privacy. And I feel like this conversation is interesting because it's so different for everyone.

Yeah, I think it kind of goes back to like what feels good and what feels like enough for your business as well. And I think it can depend on the type of product that you're selling. Like as a coach, if I am creating very like polished graphics You never see my face. And it's like, well, how am I supposed to hire Alexis if I don't know who Alexis is? And same for even wedding photographers. It's like, I like to work with photographers that I know, okay, what do they look like? And, and what's their personality like? Like, do they like to have fun? And so I do think that there are aspects of the types of services or digital products, physical products that you sell that can have a role in like how you show up and how that impacts Absolutely.

Absolutely. So with more tangible tips and diving into that, some things that we would recommend would be truly defining what's enough and how much access you want to give into whether it's your personal brand or your business. And with that, creating boundaries as well and being like, okay, these are the things that I want for my business. For example, some photographers will share aspects of their business, like fun memes about clients and like, oh, when clients don't respond, like, here's what I feel like. Do I find it hilarious when I see it? 100%. I don't feel like it aligns with my brand to be posting about my clients like that. Like I, I just, I don't know. It just like makes me nervous to post something like that, but it's just 2 different takes. Some of them add humor as a part of their brand and love that for them. And they're sharing glimpses of what they're experiencing on the business owner front, while I prefer to more storytell like what the couple is about. So I put them more in the forefront. And now that I've been working with someone that's helping me with socials too, I've been sharing with her some stories that have happened, BTS of a shoot. She'll be like, oh, this is so pretty. I was like, this is so funny. We were like hiking, they were going to close the park. We ran to the spa. We shot this in 3 minutes. She's like, okay, we need that online. And so I love that because I'm not having to share my deepest, darkest secrets like I once used to about my relationship, but we still get to give people real stories. Um, and that was actually one of our, one of my best performing posts last month was we shared the story of a bride and how she found her bouquet in the Dolomites 12 hours before the photo shoot in a random flower shop. And it's like, just like this serendipity thing.

Mm-hmm.

And so what are some ways in your brand or business that you're able to share more of that behind the scenes look that support your goals, whether you are a health and fitness brand, mental health coaching, like what supports that. Maybe you do want to share more of like your fun personality. So you're like on the weekends, you're sharing like what you're up to. Um, but I think that is really the quote unquote strategy that we can focus on is first defining what your brand is and then deciding what part of your personal life you want to share online.

Yeah. And I think that when you know those content pillars, you can also pick, okay, which areas of your life and your relationships with your kids, with, you know, everybody has different preferences. And so it really does is focused on like what serves you, but looking at what serves you in the long run as well. Another piece is the, like, getting really clear on when it comes to boundaries, notifications, and communication. Like, that's another aspect of mental health when you're building an online presence is can you time block when you check in on your DMs? I have all my notifications turned off. Like, I don't have any Instagram social media notifications turned on at all because that's what That's best for me. But I think it's like figuring out, to what Astrid said, like the access that people have to you and knowing like people don't always have access to me. And even setting those communication response times like for email or even like some people have automated DMs set up where when someone emails them— sorry, when someone messages them on Instagram, they can say like, oh, I get a lot of DMs, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. And so I think just trying to manage communication expectations can be really helpful so that you don't feel like you're always on or always have to be on your phone. And I even know some business owners that have 2 phones. They have a personal phone that is just for like their personal life, and then they have a business phone that has all the apps on it and everything they need, and they can actually like kind of physically, tangibly separate When they are in business mode and when they're in, you know, life mode. And I think that's, you know, helpful to figure out what systems do you need, um, that will help you set those boundaries and also maintain those boundaries.

Yeah, absolutely. I love that you brought this one up because honestly it's a weak point for me. I feel like answering and keeping up with my DMs during busy season is always a pain point where I quite literally have to put it in the calendar of like, okay, during this time I'm gonna take 30 minutes and while I'm walking or whatever, I'm going to catch up with them. But being able to decide, okay, how am I going to catch up? Because sometimes we create the engaging content and the engaging stories. Well, what happens when people are responding to you, but you don't have the capacity to engage back with them? It's like, okay, well, that was the whole point was to build more of that community. So I think creating some boundaries around that and just structure of how you respond, um, is really helpful as well as just overall creating a sustainable posting schedule that feels authentic to you. And so here is your freedom card that you do not need to be posting twice a day, 3 times a day, a million times a day. Um, I think the best strategy is just a consistent strategy. So what is manageable for you? What are some things that you want to focus on from a business perspective? Maybe part of your strategy is just more stories. I think that is in, in very busy seasons, There's been times where I haven't posted to my feed in a while, but my stories are always consistent and that still keeps me top of mind for inquiries and they actually don't drop. But whenever I'm off the grid where I'm not posting either stories or in my grid, I definitely see a drop in inquiries on that front.

Yeah. I also, to your point about privacy, I, I was gonna bring this up earlier and I forgot, but I want to like, I want this somewhere in the episode is how you went from like sharing a lot about your past relationship to now your relationship is a lot more private. It's not a secret, but like it's a lot more private. And I saw somebody on TikTok say there are women, this is a little bit more general to like women, but like you're either a, a, what is this? You're either like a wife. Or you're a woman that has a husband. Oh, okay.

Tell me more. What does that mean?

I'm a woman that has a husband. My content and my life is not centered around my marriage or me as a wife. And my personal brand is also not me as a wife. There's nothing wrong with that. Same with mom. Oh, you're a mom or you're a woman that has kids. And it's an interesting split in the brain where I was like, oh, as soon as I heard her say that when she was talking about defining your content, And like the parts of your life that you want to share. I was like, ah, yeah, okay. I'm a woman that has a husband and he makes appearances in my content and I love him and people love the glimpses into our relationship. And I always get really like lovely comments about our relationship. But when we were dating, we were long distance. He was in my comments writing blogs about us. Like I was, our relationship was online and I just slowly was like, oh, this just feels so much more private. Like I just, This is us. I just want this to be our thing and like our life and our little bubble. And I don't really want social media to have a lens into the things we're learning or the challenges we're having or even the good things. I'm like, sometimes I'll share, sometimes I won't. And I think building an internal filter and an internal like gut check where you are like, okay, is this— what's my intention? And sometimes I'll post things. And then I'll sit with it after and I'm like, I'm going to take that down. And it's like the moment that I start to think like, should I have posted that? Do I want to post that really? I'm like, oh, okay, we're not feeling clear. Let's just remove it.

Yeah.

Instead of like, oh no, just keep it out there. It doesn't really matter. No one's paying that close attention to me anyways. It's about building this self-trust of like, I am listening to myself. And as you're creating and you're showing up, And maybe you overshare. I've definitely overshared on the internet, mostly past versions of me, but it happens. And what I've learned to do is honor like, oh, I'm feeling prickly about that. That doesn't sit well with me. I'm going to remove it. I'm going to do something about it. Instead of being like, no, well, it's out there. I'm just going to have to just live with this anxiety I feel about posting that. It's like, well, why would I do that to myself? And then trying to move that farther up the decision-making process. If you're feeling that while you're creating it and you're like, I don't know about this, I'm not really sure, either run it through your own filter or ask a friend. Like I would ask you, I kind of want to post this. Like, what do you think? You know?

Yeah.

And just being able to take a moment, pause, ask yourself, does this align with my values? Does this honor my boundaries? And being able to like check in with yourself I think is an important muscle to build. As you're sharing more of your life and your business online.

Absolutely. I'm so happy that you brought that up because I think sometimes we feel forced into certain things and like this pressure to either be vulnerable and showcase a side of ourselves, or on the flip side to like sell, sell, sell too. Like there's, there's just like, it just depends what content are you consuming about how to grow your business. And that's maybe the pressure that you will feel. But I think that ultimately being able to rely on your own intuition as a business owner of what is best for one, your business, but two, your personal brand. And I love what you said about, um, you are either a wife. What was it again?

You are someone that like identifies like you're a wife or you're a woman with a husband when it comes to how you show up online. Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. I'm like, you're a girlfriend. Or you're a woman with a girlfriend or a boyfriend. It's not a part of your whole life.

Personality. Yeah. Well, and I think the cool thing about that is you can apply it to pretty much any other area. And this is where I really invite people to think about what do you want to share with your online audience? Because for example, we both post our fitness content or when we go take out a workout class or walking pads and all these random things that— does it have anything to do with photography? Absolutely not. But it's a part of my life and it's a connecting point. They love it. Whenever I'm going to shoots, they're like, oh my God, I saw you got a walking pad. I got yesterday, the shoot on Wednesday, Alyssa, the photographer, bought the walking pad that I had posted about. And then her whole team bought the walking pad that I had posted about.

You have an affiliate link.

But it was just such a fun connecting point. And so I feel like if you feel comfortable sharing your life and certain things that feel light to you, you should. And so here's on the flip side. So we've been talking about what we shouldn't share perhaps, or peeling back. But on the flip side, I want to remind you that your life is interesting and you are interesting and your day-to-day stuff, it might feel not glamorous to you, But I think that's exactly what your audience wants to see is like, oh, you went on a walk or you really enjoy making your own drip coffee, or you really love making your sourdough bread on Sundays or whatever it is that it's like a thing for you and you feel comfortable sharing that online. I think that being able to have those connection points with your audience adds that extra layer of, I want to work with you and you get me. And it just enforces that bond with your, with your community of how I became a traveling wedding photographer and sharing a lot of my travels at one point is what helped emphasize that on people's brains and what got me some of the traveling gigs that I have now.

100%. 100%. And you're such a, you are like the best at showcasing your travel lifestyle while attracting clients that want to hire you for those locations. So. Kudos to you, the ultimate marketer. Um, well, we hope that this episode was valuable for you. Such a, like, I know there was a lot of different strategies and a lot of different points of view and opinions, but it's an important discussion as you're building your online presence of how you want to show up. And there's all the tactics of how to create content, but this is kind of the discussion around like, okay, how do I want to take care of myself?

Mm-hmm.

Um, in a, in a sustainable way, take care of my mental health. And show up and also feel like I'm being authentic while maintaining some privacy and some respect and honor for my own boundaries. So we hope this was helpful. Sending you lots of love. Also, I got some DMs about merch. Did you get DMs about merch?

Yes.

I got some DMs about merch. So we hear you. Message received. We'll see what we can do. And thank you so much for being here. We know there are Lots of podcasts out there. Thank you so much for listening to this one. If you want to connect with us, you can do that at inbetween.pod, and you can always connect with me personally at Alexis Teichmiller.

And you can connect with me at @astrojohannaphoto. We love you guys so, so much, and we'll catch you next time.