Reclaiming Your Main Character Energy

Welcome to The In Between Podcast, a show for women navigating the space between where they are and where they want to be.

This is your go-to holistic business podcast where we dive into strategies, mindset, habits, and of course, making a meaningful income so you can live your dream life.

I'm Astrid, a multi-six-figure luxury wedding photographer and a former corporate marketing girly.

And I'm Alexis with 10+ years in tech as a senior brand partnerships manager and business coach. Think of us as your business besties cheering you on as you level up. Let's get into it.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast.

This is one of your hosts, Astrid, and the other half of the pod, Alexis. And today on the podcast, we're going to be talking about main character energy. You are not new to this topic. You've probably seen this on social media quite a bit, but we wanted to take this from a different angle as you are Building your lives, building your careers, building your families. There's this like desire to be the main character of your own life. And sometimes that can feel like you can't let real life in. Like, I want to be the main character. I'm this confident, ambitious, strong woman and nothing can touch me. But the reality is, and you've heard Ashton and I talk about this a lot on the podcast, Is a big part of being the main character of your own life is not only knowing yourself, but also letting real life in and being vulnerable, letting people in to support you, asking for support, and knowing what you need in different seasons. So we're just going to have an honest chat of the different times of our lives where we felt we really were this like main character, and when we also felt like real life was creeping in and we needed the the support. We needed to be a bit more honest about how we were really doing. And how do you balance the two between— not even balance, how do you integrate this like strong, ambitious, confident side of yourself with that more soft, vulnerable, emotional side? And I love this topic. I'm excited to see where we end up at the end of this episode. But before we dive in, we have to talk life updates.

In-betweens.

You go first. Life updates. What's new in your world?

Well, we have been in full swing since I got back from Europe, just shooting like a madwoman, editing like a madwoman. It's been a lot to catch up on. It's just part of being an entrepreneur and part of taking time off is you work on the forefront and then you catch up on the later end of it. So yeah, so that has been really cool, just really planning out what my next year's going to look like work-wise and being able to cast vision and intentionality into what I want that to look like. So that's been really nice. And yeah, just honestly enjoying my time being home and not traveling and being on a plane for a hot minute and then gearing up to start traveling again with our mastermind coming up. And then I have a wedding in New York, which I'm really excited for. So yeah, just been home and enjoying every little bit of it.

I love it. I love it. I got to see you so much too whenever I was in Illinois. It made me so happy. Um, part of my life updates is Matthew and I just spent the last couple weeks back in the Midwest with our family and friends, and we got to tell so many of our friends that we were expecting twins. And also, thank you all so much for the sweet messages from last week's episode on sharing my journey into motherhood and going from kind of this uncertain fearful, doubtful place to stepping into, into motherhood with twins and feeling very empowered and, and really like embracing this new season of my life. So thank you. I know that a lot of women reached out to me and reached out to the podcast Instagram as well. And thank you so much for the support and all the good vibes. We felt so loved and it was really fun to shoot our gender reveal with you and Riley and And get to share with people, and I just loved how it all how it all turned out. And then towards the end of my trip in the Midwest, I took a couple of vacation days and just chilled, like just chilled with my parents, got to hang out with my nana and my niece and nephew, and my mom and I went to Marshalls and we shopped for the babies for the first time. And for someone that has not really been in that world. And I don't know how to explain it, but I wouldn't necessarily call myself incredibly maternal. Stepping into them, I'm like, oh my gosh, Mom, look at this and look at this. I'm like, who is this? I'm having an out-of-body experience. I had so much fun. Oh, that's great. I was texting all my friends. I was like, look what I bought them. It was just a really cool experience. And my mom and I had the best time. And she also got to learn a little bit more about my style, how you dress your kids and all of that. It was really fun. She was like, do you like this? I was like, mm. Not really. It's not really my style. It's a little bit too bright and just like learning what I like. It was a lot of fun. Um, and then on the travel front, I am gearing up to be traveling basically my whole second trimester. We are on a plane. We are, we are traveling a lot. I am trying to wrap my head around like taking care of myself while I'm traveling so much and what I need and keeping up on my vitamins and my movement and just checking in with my doctor a lot and just being like, hey, I'm about to be 30,000-foot a lot. Is this okay? And, what do I need to do to make sure that I'm okay and babies are okay and we keep progressing and everything stays healthy and safe? But, I definitely have a lot of, I would say, pre-travel anxiety for the next 6 to 8 weeks of traveling. But, I am excited because I think there's a part of me Right now that needs to tap into that side of myself. Like, I'm gonna go to London and I'm gonna speak, and we're going to New York, we're going to Vermont, we're going to LA. Like, I feel like there's a part of me right now that I'm gonna be glad I did this when I'm in postpartum land for 4 months, not traveling, not doing anything besides taking care of babies. So while I'm a little nervous about it, there's a part of me that's like, I need this. This is important for me. And this is important for my career, and we're going to keep— we're going to keep moving forward. So that's everything on my end. Um, what are you in between right now?

Um, well, first of all, I love those updates. It was so great to see you. I miss you already. I could get used to living next to you all the time. I know.

Come move. Come move next to me. I don't know where we're going to be next, but wherever we are, you're welcome to join.

Thanks.

Perfect. Just let me know. Yes.

What am I currently in between now? Yeah, I think ever since I turned 30, I've really felt a shift and changes in my life and things moving in a direction that I've always wanted them to, but maybe a little bit more sped up than I thought. And so I'm just trying to figure out how to cope with change. That's really what I'm currently in between. I feel like because of some of the traumas and stuff that I experienced earlier on in life, That's something that I've really worked through and I've gotten so much better. And also when there's a lot of amazing things happening very quickly, whether it's in the business or in my personal life, it feels like, whoa, I haven't had enough time and what am I missing? And that protective part comes up of like, are we missing something? And so I'm just learning to trust myself, trust my instincts, trust that I've made the right decisions that have led me to the place that I'm at right now. And embrace the beautiful part of change that we don't expect, which is maybe it's exactly what we needed and exactly what we wanted. And yeah, as people who we plan a lot, we plan a lot in our business and our goals and all of that, it feels— yeah, control feels nice. And at the same time, it's not everything. And it's actually a false sense of control, I would say. And so, yeah, so right now I am in between redefining my relationship with control and just like letting life happen in certain cases and also taking control in other parts. So, um, a very interesting dynamic.

I'm really proud of you for recognizing the tendency that you and I definitely both have it of wanting to control The different situations and aspects of our life. We want to control the timing and the pacing of our growth. And it's really hard when life happens, as we're going to talk about in this episode, and we have to adjust, we have to adapt. And one thing about you is you are an incredibly adaptable person, even if you might not think that you are. You really are. Like, you, you take in the information, you adapt, and you are— you're like immediately trying to find a way to move forward and how to make this the best experience, regardless of the new information. So you are going to handle this with so much grace and empathy for yourself. But I also know that the deep desire of like, things aren't happening quite the way I thought they would, or, you know, this isn't growing the way that I wanted it to, or vice versa. So I get that that can be really hard for like the more stubborn parts of ourselves.

Yes, absolutely. Thank you for those words. I feel like I needed to hear that from somebody else. Yeah. Um, so that means a lot. But now what are you currently in between?

I, I'm in between getting my energy back. I don't know if you can tell, but like, I actually look pretty energetic today. Like, I feel like I look more like myself than I have showing up to record for those podcasts in like a couple months. Um, and I think that I'm in that second trimester I'm really prioritizing more sleep and just being more mindful of where I want to spend my energy. And so instead of feeling like I need to do it all and be everywhere and answer every call, and, you know, there's people I have not gotten back to for texts. I need to text them back, but it's like just reserving and managing my energy in a different way right now so that I can take care of myself and not feel this constant pressure to be on.

Mm-hmm.

all of the time. And I'm really allowing myself to hit the off switch a lot more often so that I can rest and take care of my body because it's, it's in production mode right now. And so I need to be a lot more mindful instead of— I think past me would push through a lot of situations just because that's who I am. But I'm learning that This really isn't a season for my health where I need this pressure to push through just because. And so I'm giving myself a lot more room and space to be compassionate, really listen to myself. What do you need? Okay, we're going to give you what you need instead of, I should be doing all these things. I need to be doing this. I should be doing that. It's like, that is not helpful right now. And that is actually not what we need. Which can be hard on the control front because then there's a part of me that feels like I'm not doing enough. I should be more organized. I should, I should have my baby registry ready. I should be sending out baby shower invites. I'm like, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. And I feel like I'm tapping a little bit more into my Type B, Type C personality. And it's been helpful because I feel like the Type A can sometimes come with a lot of unnecessary pressure and shame. When you aren't performing to the level that you think you should. And now I'm just like, hey, we will get to it. We know this is important. Yeah, this will happen, but maybe we just don't do it right now. We can do it in 3 days. We're going to live. And so I think that's been helpful, but the in-between of that has been kind of difficult to wrap my head around and like, I'm changing. And it's interesting. So yeah, I am, I am open to the change, but it's just been different. And I think that a lot of times you don't think— you go into a situation, whether it's becoming a mom, whether it's a new relationship, a new job, and you're like, this is how it's going to be.

It's going to be like this.

And then you actually experience it and you're like, oh, actually, no. No, no, we actually— this is not how it is, and we need XYZ, and we need to be more adaptable and flexible. So in my own way, I have a very similar in-between as you of just letting go of some control and trying to be present throughout the change.

I'm so proud of you. I can just feel how grounded you have, like this, like new softness to you. That I noticed when you were here and even as you're talking right now. And it is so beautiful to witness how the twins are already bringing out this new side of you or making it shine even more than it did before.

Yeah.

And I love seeing how healthy you are being about approaching this pregnancy with grace, with the things that you have to do and not trying to power through it and prioritize your health. Be okay with being selfish in this season because, as you should be, like, you are growing 2 beautiful little humans and they need you to do that. And so I love to, to hear how grounded and peaceful you sound, even though I know that that is hard to get to that place and let go of all those responsibilities and things that you— that are very real, but that it's also, you only have this season right now with the twins. Once in your life and like such a big life event to have.

Yeah, I agree. So I'm just being really mindful of myself and my self-talk and taking it one day at a time. So with that, I'm excited to talk about main character energy because I feel like there's this aspect— if you watch any rom-com, right, there's like this woman who is trying to achieve something in her life. She's going after something in her career. She wants to be a writer. She's writing a book. She's broken up with somebody and she's moved across the country to find herself. We all know those movies. I love those movies. I am a sucker for those movies. There's also aspects in those movies and in the books that we read where we get to see this person really develop. We get to see certain things about their personality or their life break down. We get to see some of the hardships that they face. And it sometimes is easier from our perspective to look at someone on a TV screen or read in a book and say, wow, look at their character development. Like, look at the arc of their maturity and their compassion and how they've developed their relationships. But sometimes we don't always do that for ourselves. It's easier for us to look upon that and see that in other people. But we don't take the time to reflect on the ways that we've grown, as well as the way that our main character energy also encompasses this part of— it's a very real part of us, this very like sometimes unseen, vulnerable, emotional side of us. So I'm excited to kind of kick this conversation off here. And I'm curious, Kind of just starting from this place, what your relationship has been with your own like main character energy. And like, when did you feel like you started to develop that and really feel that you were stepping into this main character spot in your own life?

I love this topic and this question, um, for so many reasons, just because we're able to really dive into our own character development and our own lives, and in a way also romanticize those downs that we have.

Yeah.

Um, but for me, I feel like I didn't really start to develop that main character energy until fully until about 25. I would say she was like lingering starting around like 17, 18. Like, I just felt that I— this is my this might sound egotistical, but that I was special or I had something that I needed to do in this world. And so whether it was on a smaller scale or a bigger scale, I was like, okay, I have something. So how can I work really, really hard for those opportunities? And so that always felt like from how I dressed to how I showed up to an interview, to my internship, to my waitressing job, I was like, I'm going to try to be the best waitress that I can be.

Yes.

And then whenever I experienced And a hard divorce and a hard abusive relationship. Through therapy, you really just learn to figure out, like, who are you and who do you want to be? And I feel like that's really where my main character developed because it's that higher self of, like, if Astra didn't have all these things weighing her down of people's opinions and limitations, what would she do? Would she move across the country? Would she quit her job? Would she be bold enough to go into a new relationship? Would she have— what kind of friendships would she have? Would she be traveling with her friends? And I feel like that's really where I started envisioning my life. And no joke, like 25 to 30 were like— have been some of my favorite years ever, from the friendships I've had, the trips we've taken, the relationship I'm in, the business I've been able to build, like the freedom that I have. I feel like that main character. And so it took some time, but I think that sometimes you just have to break it all down in order to build back up. Like, who do you want to be and what is the story that you want to set up for yourself and take ownership of that? So that's on my end. But what about you? Like, when did you feel like that main character voice started to pop into your head?

Yeah, very similar to you actually. I've always had this performer part of myself, and I've always felt like there was an aspect of me that was special. And I did have my parents, and specifically my Nana, constantly telling me like, you're gonna be somebody. You already are somebody, but you're going to be somebody. And whoever it is, whatever you become, it's going to be great. And I just had that from a very young age. And I'm very grateful to have that encouragement, like molding my self-image from a very, very young age. And so then I think I grew up realizing that the way that I spoke and held myself and walked into a room and what I wore and how I treated people was a reflection of like, okay, if I'm going to be somebody and I'm going to be somebody great with a capital G, this is how somebody great treats other people. And this is how they walk into a room with confidence. And just like those little small things, I feel like those started to develop in high school and college for me, kind of getting into early adulthood. But I really felt it in Nashville. Like, my early 20s of going to events and working with brands and working in tech and wearing funky, weird outfits, but like didn't even care because I would walk into a room and I'm like, yeah, I belong here. I belong here. And there was this like healthy ego development, I think, during that time of realizing that while there were things I was going through and Honestly, on the personal side, like figuring out how to manage my money for the first time. You know, I was in a long-distance relationship and that was really hard. I was away from my family and friends. And so I was working on how do I still make my parents and my friends feel close and special to me, even though we don't have like physical proximity to each other. Those are some of the more like personal things I was trying to navigate while also building up this version of myself that was very confident regardless of whatever situation I was put in. And I feel like that helped craft a lot of my career. And I also think it helped craft the types of opportunities that were attracted to me. So I think like those scenarios in that season of my life was really pivotal. And then when I got into I like to call it kind of my second act because I really went, I really went through some shit, you know, like 2020, 2021, 2022. And then like 2022 and on, I'm like, I feel like I've tapped back into this version of myself and, and have become a lot more confident. And it's like, okay, through that time, and I kind of wanted— this is, this is the next part of the conversation is Through those, those years where you were going through a really hard divorce, you were healing, you were in, you know, intense therapy, you were figuring out who you were. I was going through my own situation with my partner and I, my husband were long distance. I was living in my in-laws' basement. I was— I had quit my job to try to become a coach full-time. And I was really struggling with like how to be an entrepreneur. And how to coach other women whenever I was personally very like I was struggling a lot, and I was really dealing with a lot of mental health issues at the time. I didn't feel like a main character energy. I'm not going to speak for you, but did you feel like a main character?

Absolutely not. No, I got booted off the the movie.

Yeah, the movie we has been canceled. No season two. So it's like how did you navigate? That when you've built up this version of yourself, you feel like you know yourself, you're really confident, you feel this sense of like, I am worthy, I am special, I'm building something great in my life regardless of what it is. And then real life happens and you go through a couple of years of just hardship.

Mm-hmm.

How did that impact your confidence and your self-image? And how did you then get that main character energy? How did you reinstate her? How did you flip that switch back on for yourself?

Yes, yes. I think part of it is when you're going through some really hard stuff, that voice of main character or I deserve more doesn't go away. And so I don't know if this happened to you, but in those very low points, you're like, why am I here? I know I deserve more. I know I'm meant for something better. How do I get out of this? And how do I pivot? And how do I work myself out of it? And I think it was a combination of women that have gone before me that have walked through the depths of hell and have shared their own stories that were so encouraging that were like, okay, these women that I very much admire and are killing it right now in their career, in their family, in their personal life, They went through some really hard stuff too. So if they could do it, maybe this is just an in-between season for me rather than the end of it for me.

Mm-hmm.

And so how do I change the narrative? And I think that's the most important part is in those low points, rather than shaming myself because my life should have X, Y, and Z, and no one's life is perfect. It's more shifting into what have I learned that I never want to have again, that I will now be empowered to be more filtered into the life that I really want and I really deserve. And now I have all that knowledge about me and the life around me to move forward into that. And so I think also to be quite vulnerable when you get to a point where you quite literally don't want to move forward with your life. and you've lost a lot and you don't have any more feeling, and then suddenly you start to feel a little bit more alive again, you're like, that fear of what people will say, that fear of anything is gone because you've lost it all. You've been down and about and everyone's seen you at your absolute worst. So that fear holding you back, or that held me back in my early 20s, was no longer present. And so how could I utilize that positive side to then like, let's go try all the things. Like, what have I always wanted to do? And I get a second chance at life now, and I'm not taking that for granted. Like, I remember that very low point, and now how can I gift that Astrid the life that she really deserved? And how can I fight for that? And so, um, Yeah. So I would say in my— I think it's such a personal journey, but in my journey, it was feeling all the feelings, letting life happen, getting to a point where I stopped judging what happened to me and being like, this is why I can't succeed, and using it as a crutch and just being like, okay, this happened to me and what's next?

Yeah.

You're not going to take my life away from me. How can I reclaim it? And what do I want it to look like? And I think that that's the true main character energy, is like, what do you feel like is the main character? Rather than like, what is everyone going to glamorize about you? And like that social acceptance, right?

Yeah.

So for someone, it might be like you're traveling the world and you quit your job. For somebody else, it's like they're heads down and they build their dream business. For somebody else, it's motherhood. For somebody else, it's a combination. of all 3. And so what is that, like, main character for you? And I think I'm still in the midst of figuring it fully out, but I have gotten more narrowed down with that in the past few years.

That's really beautiful, especially the part where when life has taken something from you or you feel like you don't really have Clarity on how you want to move forward. And there's this sense of freedom that can come with— this probably sounds really dark, but there's a sense of freedom that can come with being empty and like being a little numb to things where you're like, nothing can really touch me right now because I'm realizing that even though I'm in this situation, for me, it was just a really dark place with my mental health and a lot of loneliness. That would lead me down these thought patterns and this narrative. And for me, it was realizing like this actually is temporary. And at the same time, because I have kind of emptied myself out, I'm realizing that all of the opinions I used to care about or all of the thoughts I thought about myself that were so important don't really seem to matter anymore. What really matters is Reconnecting with like what it is that I actually want, not what I think I should want, not what other people want from me, but like, how do I actually want to live my life? Who am I at my core? How do I treat people? And how do I, how do I get work done? Like, what's my creativity like? And how does that manifest itself? But I think there was an aspect of me that coming from such a dark place, it started to feel like while nothing thought— while like nothing felt possible, when I got myself out of that place through a lot of therapy and support from my friends and my husband and my family, I feel like I got to this place where like anything was possible, which was interesting. And I feel like you had— you have definitely, and I've witnessed this in you, You have tapped into this like anything is possible, why not kind of mentality. And that's definitely been my journey the last 3 and a half years as well, is kind of trying on this healthy delusion. Like not this delusion where like we're gonna— like I don't want to negatively impact other people. Like we're not like so delusional that we can just walk through life saying and doing whatever we want and not have any consequences, right? I'm talking like healthy delusion where anything is possible for us. Any opportunity could come our way at any time. And it's our decision if we want to say yes or not. How open are we? And what does our work ethic look like? And how are we attracting certain opportunities? And how do we treat people? And what kind of friendships do we get to attract into our lives? Because people are magnetized towards good, kind energy. People want to be around fun people. And so it's like, okay, how, how do I attract that kind of friendship or that kind of job opportunity? And I think that's a big part of stepping back into a main character energy. If you've— you're in a season where you're kind of not really sure what you want to do with your life, you are feeling a bit lost, you're feeling maybe even a bit numb, or you've gone through some sort of traumatic, heartbreaking experience, and you're on this healing journey and you want to step back into this main role. I think that's like a big piece for me is I started to take responsibility for myself again, in a way that when I was going through a lot of my own issues, I kind of just, I took my foot off the gas and I stopped steering the car. And so, well, no wonder I'm alongside the road. I'm not going anywhere. Like, the car is off. And I need to actually like take control in a healthy way and take responsibility for the direction that my life is going because no one is coming to do this for me. Like I have to do this for myself. And so I think that was another aspect in 2020, late 2021, early 2022, where I started to like, I am in control of my choices, my behavior, and my actions. And so therefore, I'm going to start crafting this life and it's going to start looking like this. And I'm going to start dressing this way again. And I'm going to start finding my confidence and I'm going to start traveling and I'm going to start rebuilding my career again. And it was this like conscious choice of, I need to stop making excuses and I need to stop waiting for someone to come tell me what to do. And like, I was just begging for someone to give me a list. Can you just give me a list of like what I should do with my life and I'll just do that? And now I don't feel that way, but like, I know that feeling and I know how hard that can be when you don't trust yourself enough to make the decisions that you need to make in order to move your life forward.

Yeah. And it's a paralyzing feeling too, because you're like, I know, and I have this deep core feeling that I deserve more. But at the same time, there's so much to tackle at that point when you hit those low aspects of your life and you're like, where do I even start with this cleanup of my life? You know? And so I feel like we can— but we've both been through that season and being able to, if you are walking through that season right now, identify like, what is one thing that you can start working on that maybe doesn't feel as overwhelming? So maybe it's like— dressing up a little bit more every day, and then you're choosing yourself more every day. Or for me, at certain points, it was literally just like getting out of bed and showering was a big win for me. And starting slow, little by little, because that's what I think starts to build your confidence in yourself and your choices. And in a way, we're here recapping everything that happened, but in that messy middle, it was like, Years for both of us. It wasn't like a month or two, it was years of choosing ourselves. And I feel like in the beginning of our journey, it was very simple tasks that right now it's second nature to both of us. But back then, it felt like the heaviest and hardest thing that you could do was get up and make actual food for yourself. And so if you find yourself in that moment right now, and you also feel that pull towards your main character energy? What are some ways that you can start choosing yourself? And if you're maybe farther along in that journey, what is a new thing that you can tackle that maybe you want to take a new course to enhance your career and start walking towards that dream career that you want? Or maybe you want to go on a dating app and put yourself out there because you know you want to start a family someday. And so how can we take that next step forward that it feels so scary? And so think about your life right now and what area of that life do you feel like your higher self is pulling you towards? And at the same time, it feels scary, so we just keep pushing it to the back burner.

Yeah.

And as Alexis was saying earlier, how can we take that responsibility and start taking small steps every day that one year from now you can be like, wow, I'm so happy that I started.

Agreed. I think that there's a piece here too where a lot of building your main character energy, you feel like you have to do it alone. Like, it feels like this solo mission. And there's a part of this work that is inner work. It's self-work. It's work that no one can do for you. And we already mentioned that. But there's also part of this journey Where when you have the right environment or the right friends around you that are really supporting you, like you and I are such big cheerleaders for each other that when we're going through different changes or, you know, we're, we're at that main character peak where I'm like, look at this. And then you're like, look at this. And you just have someone that is in it with you and that can cheer you on. I think another aspect of being and having that main character energy is who you surround yourself with. And are those people lifting you up? Are they encouraging you? Are they supporting you? Or are they sowing seeds of doubt in you? Or, why are you wearing that? Or like, you know, you're posting a lot on social media lately. Like those little tiny comments that make you feel insecure and start chipping away at some of the work that you're trying to do to be more visible or build more confidence or whatever it is in your life or your business. And so I think there's also an aspect of this to start being a bit more ruthless with who you put yourself in contact with and who you're around. Now I know some of that is, you know, unavoidable in some environments, like depending on your work environment, like there are certain places where we are going to bump into Folks that might not have the positivity that we're looking for, and that's where you have to be really resilient as well. So yes, you can choose your friends. There's also environments that sometimes we can't like help but be in, and so when those comments do come, can you be so resilient that they don't even bother you? That you're like, "Oh, that's okay." Like I don't know what they're going through right now. Must be going through something, and they feel like they need to put me down in some way. No worries. Like, I'm not going to internalize that in any way. So it's like this twofold of making sure that you're around folks that are really feeding into you and loving you and supporting you. And then also when you're around people that aren't, can you be so resilient and have such a strong exterior and thick skin to those types of comments that they are completely irrelevant to you?

Absolutely. I love that you brought this up because even as you were talking, I was thinking about our friend group and we have such incredibly supportive people around us. And I think that so many moments in my life where my mindset has expanded and tapped even more into that main character energy has come from very nonchalant moments of conversation with people in my life that are just talking about what they're doing in their life, and it just sparks a thing. And so there is a level of energy that it requires to step into your higher self and this main character energy. And I think it also becomes so much lighter when you're surrounded by people that are also doing that in their own lives, and you're like, oh, they're doing that? I can do that. That happened to me whenever I bought my house. Like, I just kept saving and saving money for God knows what. And our friend Riley was like, Astrid, you should just buy a house. Like, you can afford it. This— the market's really good. And I was like, are you sure? Like, me by myself? Like, I don't know that I could do this. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I started like actually looking into it. And then I found like my dream house at like the crazy rates that everyone was locking in. And it made it possible for me. Like, in my very limited mindset back then. I was like, I can't do that by myself right now at 25. I just went through a divorce. I need a husband. And I don't know why I was thinking that. And so I feel very grateful for that. And just like that, so many other things. And so it feels lighter when you're swimming with people that are going in that same flow with you.

Yeah.

And so how can you surround yourself with more of that energy that In a way, it normalizes the crazy things that you want to do, and it's not so crazy anymore. And it's like, oh yeah, you're gone half the year traveling? Amazing.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I think it's being, being really mindful of how those different friends and different environments influence you, and just being mindful of, are they influencing me in a positive way that really is aligned with the kind of life I want to live and this sort of main character energy that I'm trying to cultivate and romanticize in my life? Or is it not? And then you can just make decisions based on that. I know it can be kind of hard, but when you look at it a little bit more black and white of like, this is in pursuit of me living my best life so that I can be the best version of myself, it's like, okay, well, this is a no-brainer. Of course, I'm going to remove myself from that environment. Or of course, I'm going to take a couple steps back from that friendship because I'm realizing it's not really aligned with where I want to go or who I am or the kind of— even the kind of conversation I want to be around. And that's absolutely okay. Well, we hope that you have enjoyed this conversation. I know this is a little bit more on the life side, but as Astrid and I were putting together topics, We thought this was one that hopefully everybody can relate to regardless of where you are in your life or your career. And we hope that it brought you some encouragement hearing, you know, from our own experiences as well as how you can step into this more in your own life. So if you love today's episode and you have some feedback or you just want to share your own experience with us, we love hearing from you. You can always do that at InBetween. And if you ever want to connect with me personally, you can do that @AlexisTeichmiller on Instagram.

And you can connect with me @AstraJohannaPhoto. We love you all and we'll catch you next time.