Breaking the Taboo: Money Talks That Build Wealth & Confidence

Welcome to The In Between Podcast, a show for women navigating the space between where they are and where they want to be.

This is your go-to holistic business podcast where we dive into strategies, mindset, habits, and of course, making a meaningful income so you can live your dream life.

I'm Astrid, a multi-six-figure luxury wedding photographer and a former corporate marketing girly.

And I'm Alexis with 10+ years in tech as a senior brand partnerships manager and business coach. Think of us as your business besties cheering you on as you level up. Let's get into it.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast.

This is one of your hosts, Astrid, and the other half of the pod, Alexis. And I'm so excited about today's topic because we're gonna be talking about money.

We love talking about money. If you've been hearing about money, yeah, yeah, since the inception of this podcast, that has been a big focus for us. And I'm so excited for the specific way in which we're taking this topic, which is talking about money with friends. That has been transformational. I know in both of our lives, and it can feel kind of taboo for people to talk about money with their people. So we're going to share with you our experiences, some of the ways that we've benefited from sharing that with our community and how we've learned from them as well. And See if that motivates you to follow along as well. Yes.

I think there's so much for us to learn from each other when it comes to personal finances, our careers, our salaries. And also for those of you that run your own businesses, being able to talk about price transparency with other folks in your industry is really helpful. I think it's, it's a way for us to level up. It's a way for us to see, do I need to raise my prices? Do I need to be asking for a raise? Um, and just normalizing that conversation. So really excited to talk about this because you and I have talked a lot about money in our, in our, in our own lives and businesses. And I'm excited to bring this kind of angle to the podcast. So before we dive in, let's do some life updates. You go first. What's up? What's new in your life?

Life updates. Well, uh, we just wrapped up Labor Day weekend and Nick finished moving in. So we were deep into rearranging all the things. And if you tuned into last week's podcast, we definitely did some rearranging and some purging of stuff, which felt so good. Um, and then we are in the midst of planning our elopement. So we're so excited for that. We've finalized a location, we've finalized a few things. So, um, yeah, just kind of gearing up.

That is amazing. So much to celebrate. Like, do you just feel like you're on a constant high all the time? Yes.

What am I going to do after all this stimulus in my life?

I'm so happy for you. Congrats again on moving in and glad that the organization and all the like blending of your belongings has gone well and really excited. I know you showed me your elopement location. It looks absolutely stunning. Unreal. I'm so excited for you both and just can't wait to see all the pics and hear all the stories. Thank you.

Thank you. What about you? I know you had a busy weekend. Tell us all about it.

Yes, I did have a busy weekend. We had— and I'm going to talk about some pregnancy stuff here in just a second. Um, we had our anatomy scan for both of the twins last, like, going into last weekend. And I didn't realize— so an anatomy scan is where It's usually around your 20-week appointment because they need to make sure that the baby is a certain size so that they can measure and check for all of their internal organs. So, it's typically about an hour per baby. So, I was literally— I was laying down for about 2 hours on my back and the sweet ultrasound tech was so kind. She was like, I'm going to give you a break in between each baby. Um, but we ran a bunch of tests because I'm also traveling a lot. And so there are certain measurements of things that they're looking for to make sure, like, can she travel? Can she fly? Can she go abroad? So I passed all of those, which was really helpful and very like— I was a little nervous, but I was also at a point where if my doctor said, I don't recommend it, I would be like, done. Okay, perfect. But it's sometimes helpful to have a doctor to be like, yes or no. Versus this gray area. So I passed all my tests and the babies look amazing. Uh, they're measuring really well. I got to see their little heartbeats, got gender confirmation as well, which was really cool because obviously like a blood test will tell you, it's— but it can still be inaccurate, especially with twins. Oh my God. Because my body and my blood is going to pick up on the boy chromosome more Mm-hmm. And so even though it said like baby 1 is this and baby 2 is that in the test, which you saw, there is still a chance that that could have been wrong. And so during the, the, um, anatomy scan, Matthew was like, okay, now can you just like, can you please just like jump ahead really quick and talk and tell us the genders? So she did. And yeah, we're having a boy and a girl. So very sweet. Um, very long appointment, but overall had a really good experience and love my doctor and love our medical experience here in Texas so far. And started talking to her about labor and delivery and what that could look like and different scenarios between a vaginal—

sorry.

Okay. I'm going to say the word vagina on the podcast. A vaginal birth or a cesarean and what the different scenarios were there and just preparing me mentally for that. So it was really helpful. And yeah, then honestly, Matthew and I, We did different projects this weekend. We got to spend some time just us. We went stroller shopping. We figured out like what stroller we want, what car seat we want. Um, it was really great. So overall very fun. And I'm having a lot of fun like creating content around motherhood in a way that I didn't necessarily expect. I don't know. This is like, please don't come for me. Please don't come for me. But like there's a part of becoming a mom when you already create content online that you're like, is my whole content and my whole brand now being a mom? And I didn't necessarily want that to be the case for me. I wanted to share about lots of different things. And I am also more than just a mom as well. Like I know that's a big part of my identity right now and will be for my future, but also like I want to talk about my career and I want to talk about business and those things as well. So I have been letting myself just feel intuitively like, hey, I want to share this, I'm going to share it, and not overthink it versus like, oh, I'm sharing too much mom stuff, or I'm like sharing a little bit too much about like the babies, which is very fair. So I'm trying to just let myself have fun and share what I want to share when I want to share it instead of feeling like, is this too much? Should I not be sharing this? So anyways. It is what it is. Engagement is through the roof. Followers have gone down, which is totally fine.

Yes. We love the content. I love seeing— there's like a difference of when you're creating content that is like on the schedule to when you're creating content that just, I don't know, that you're just more excited about and there's this extra glow in it. And I love seeing that glow in your content and how genuine it is and being able to follow along in your journey. I feel like everyone's pregnancy journeys is also so So different. So it's a version in a way of like a day in the life of like, we all have such different lives. I'm curious about your life, even if I'm not maybe in that stage. Obviously, aside, if you're going through something and that's triggering. But I love seeing how you're creating content and leaning into that. Thanks.

It's been really fun. Okay. In-betweens. What are you in between right now?

So much. I am currently in between, well, leaning into the wedding planning stuff, just trying to figure out what it is that we really want to do versus what we feel like we need to do and what we feel like family wants us to do. Our families are incredibly supportive and I adore them. And because when there's this very intense love, a lot of times that can come through in requests of what moms want or what somebody else wants. And so, yeah, so it's just been this nice in-between of practicing staying true to our voice and what we want, practicing leaning into that voice. Is it really what we want? Are we just trying to go the opposite way? And then just realizing, oh no, that's— Definitely the path for us. And so, yeah, so we've been in that season and now that we've started to make decisions towards that, it's felt amazing. It's felt so peaceful to be like, okay, this is in such alignment to what we want. It's staying true to our day. We feel excited and not stressed towards our day. And yeah, and just feeling that support also from my partner and like We're both wanting this, and it's not just me wanting it. Feels extra special. So yeah, so it's like a very sweet season of wedding planning.

It's crazy, crazy. I love that. I love that you guys are aligned and that you are a united front. I think it's really important when you and your partner are making big life decisions, no matter what it is, but especially when you're planning a wedding, to. To feel like you have each other's backs and to know that the decision that you're making is yours together, even if people are like, why didn't you do this? Or what about this? It's not that they're necessarily trying to add any sort of negativity, but it's like the opinions that matter the most are you and your partner's. And I love that you guys are so in tune with each other and you really prioritize each other's voices. in the relationship instead of almost like over-indexing on like, well, my mom really wants this, or, you know, so-and-so mentioned like we should really do this. And it's like, no, not that it doesn't matter, but like our voices and what we want in this decision should be the only ones that we're really focusing on. And it's really cool to hear you both do that.

Yes. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. It's really interesting. Sometimes in the wedding world, everyone's like, oh, it's your wedding day. You should do whatever you want. And then you do whatever you want and then they're mad. So honestly, just do whatever you want and make peace with what everybody else feels because it's the one day you should be jealous and selfish with what you want. So yeah, with that, what are you currently in between?

I am currently in between dealing with a little bit of pregnancy anxiety. I'm traveling For the first time by myself abroad. And then I have quite a lot of travel over the next couple months for work. And even though I will be meeting people there, and like, it's not like I'm completely alone for days at a time, but just the, the traveling by myself right now feels just different. And I'm trying to tap into my most independent, most empowered self, but There's a part of me that's like, I just want to be with Matthew. I just want to be with my partner right now. And the thought of like having to go fly 10 hours to the UK and, and I'm excited once I'm there. It's like the getting there part that's causing me a lot of anxiety. Um, so I'm just working through that, having some good conversations with Matthew. Honestly, I even like talked with ChatGPT about it of like, what are some things I can do to shift my mindset, calm my nervous system. Because the more that I get worked up about it, the more that I'm going to start to feel the physical ramifications of that. And so it's like just staying calm and not gaslighting myself. I think it's very normal to feel nervous about traveling by yourself, period.

Yeah.

And then you add a pregnancy and then you add in the fact that it's twins, it just makes me feel a little bit more nervous, a little bit more cautious. And so My considerations and my criteria are just different than when it's just me traveling for myself. So I am working through that, and it's going to be great. I'm excited. I'm excited for these trips. I feel grateful. It's just all of this in this season back to back to back was planned prior to me being pregnant, and pre-pregnant me is like, "Come on, Alexis!" Like, why did you do that? You know, but it'll be great, and I think it'll be a nice way for similar to when. Whenever I was in Mallorca and Nice with you and then in London as well in the spring, it was distracting and it was just like, we're just going and we are not going to even focus on being nauseous. Not that I feel nauseous now, but as you get deeper into your pregnancy, your symptoms change. And so now for me, it's sleep and stomach fullness and tightness in the evenings. And so there's just like, okay, how do we optimize for really good sleep?

Yeah.

You know, I have all of my powders and magnesium and like things I usually wouldn't travel with. I'm like, we're bringing it.

All the potions.

Totally potions. I feel like an apothecary. Someone's gonna pull me aside in the UK airport and be like, man, what's this white powder? I'd be like, I swear to God, it is my Magnesium Sleep Powder. You can taste it. I promise. You can taste it. You'll fall asleep.

Yes.

Anyways, just working through some of that, but, um, proud of myself and everything will be lovely. So just working through that though.

I'm proud of you. I, I hear you. It's, it's a whole new level of responsibility traveling when you know you're carrying 2 human lives inside of you. So that is so fair to feel that way. And flying across the world, like, it's so fair. And I'm proud of you for Taking it one step at a time, for not letting fear take over either.

Yeah.

You're taking all the medical steps needed to make sure that this is truly the right decision for you. You're cleared by your doctor. And then now navigating all those things mentally and all of that, which is still a lot to navigate as well. But I'm proud of you for not letting this just completely derail stuff and stepping out into confidence and a whole new way. And it's a testament to the mom that you've told us you want to be. This is step one of it, of you want to continue being bold and empowered and doing the things you need to do within reason. And I'm so proud of you for that.

Thank you. That is a good reminder. You're right. You're very right. That is very true. And I think it is It does speak to like who I want to be and who I want to continue to be with these kids. So just working through it, but I'm I'm gonna be it's gonna be great. It's gonna be great, sweetie. All right, excited about this topic around talking about money with your friends, and I want to start by just talking around the importance of normalizing. the conversation around money with friends with a caveat, because I do think that, and I'm curious what you think, Astrid, I don't think that every friendship like needs to go into this, into this depth. With my closest, most trusted friends, we have kind of an open door policy where it's like, I got a raise. This is what my raise was. I'm saving money. This is what I'm saving for. I spent too much. This is what, this is what happened. Like we're just very honest and transparent when it comes to money. And I also don't think that you need to do this with everybody. So I would just say, use your discretion. Obviously, whenever we talk about this topic for the rest of this episode, one of the assumptions that we're making is that you're with trusted folks.

Mm-hmm.

You know, use your best judgment for that. But I don't think that, you know, you need to talk about money with everybody. I think it's best when you feel like you're in a trusted environment and, you know, people aren't going to be, you know, using that information maliciously or judging you, or if it's causing unwanted jealousy or insecurity in the relationship, if someone makes more than the other person. So I think you really have to use your intuition to guide you on whether or not. You know, is this a, is this a path I want to walk down with this particular person in my life?

Absolutely. I could not agree more. I also feel like there's layers to this. There's your inner circle that you can share all the numbers with and all the things with. And then there's your extended circle. Like maybe you have a good friend that you don't want to share details with, but maybe they're in finance or they're great investors, or they figured out tax ways to adjust things. You can still share things with a broad perspective without going into details of this is exactly how much I make. And you can just ask like, oh, where, what have you invested in? And you don't need to ask them like, how much money have you invested in that? So definitely being cautious with how and what you share. But I think whenever you're able to have these types of conversations with your closest circle and or your extent, like your extended circle of friends and family is really where you're able to get more real-life data of how are people managing their finances? What does it look like to fall a little bit on your budget and get your feet back up? How do you plan for family? How do you plan for business? Like, how does that work? Especially if you didn't grow up in a family that talked openly about money, talked about budgeting. Um, this is a great way to lean into Um, that sort of education that we all need.

Yeah, agreed. And I think a place that can be helpful to start, depending on your relationship with your parents, is even if you are an adult, it's just chatting with your parents around money. And even if you didn't necessarily grow up talking about it, it doesn't mean that you can't talk about it now. So again, use your discretion. If you don't have a close relationship with your parents, or this is a sore, triggering topic, Please don't bring it up. But something that I started doing a couple of years ago was really getting into my dad's finances and the way that he thought about money and how much money he made and how much money was in his 401 and how he paid off the house and like certain decisions that he made financially just to help me. I mean, this is someone that's 30 years older than me, that's closer to retirement than I am. And like, I can benefit from The knowledge. And also, he was very honest about some of the things that he did wrong. I wish I would have done this sooner. I wish I would have saved for this sooner. And being able to talk through that. And then same with my mom, you know, talking with her about what was your salary, you know, experience? What was that arc? What did that look like from job to job? Did you, did you take any pay cuts? And then talking to my parents about taking pay cuts. Because both of my parents in different situations in their careers took pay cuts that supported the family in a different way. And just normalizing that conversation, I think a lot of times when you hear someone being like, oh, I took a pay cut, it's like, okay, well, did you move to a place you've always wanted to move and now you have a different lifestyle? Did you do that because now you have more time to be home with your family? Like, there's lots of reasons for that. And so— Being able to kind of get into their decision-making of why did you do that and what went into that. It was really helpful for us to not see taking a pay cut as a negative, but there's like trade-offs for getting a different job so that you can do XYZ that your other job where you made more maybe didn't give you that. So I think starting with your close circle, whether that be your parents or your friends, can kind of help close that knowledge gap of Certain things or experiences that you haven't had yet, or just don't know enough about, to be honest with you, so that you can just start knowledge sharing. And and it doesn't mean that you have to do exactly what they did, but it's more of just like oh, I didn't know that you could max out your Roth IRA every single year. Oh, I didn't know that. What's the limit on it? Okay, interesting. I don't know if I'm gonna do that, but now I know that you can, and my friend did it, and this is how she's. Da da da da da. So it's like just learning those things that sometimes like financial advisors and tax consultants or your accountants, they don't know to tell you because you're not asking them. Whereas like with you're with your friends, you're just kind of like, how do you do this and how do you do that? And sometimes you're not getting that information from like the financial resources you have in your life.

Yes, absolutely. I could not agree more. Like there's so many people already in our lives that have experienced so much. has spent the time researching, and perhaps their type of research also is more tailored towards your lifestyle or more close to it and can teach you too about maybe assets that you're going to inherit in the future if they have land or a business or something like that. Um, on my end, I actually didn't really learn a lot about finances within my family. Like, that was not a topic that we really discussed, but it was really helpful for me to learn, like, how money was spent in the past and how my parents invested in a lot of things that then didn't turn out. And like, why didn't it turn out? And understanding for me, like, okay, it's great to take risks, but they always went with these like very high risk options and they never even diversified into the lower risk, more continuous things like a 401k or just like putting money into the market, like $200 every month, like would have gone such a long way. And so I feel like any parent would say you want your kids to do better than you and to learn from your mistakes. And so that was something that I loved about my parents. They invested and they had some great risk and they had some great rewards, but they also lost some money and quite a bit of money in other investments. I would say for me, honestly, it was more my oldest brother, Martin. He is so wise with money. He's always been very into saving. And whenever I was, um, 19, he had taken the Dave Ramsey course and then he paid it for me to take it. And it was life-changing because I, I think the Dave Ramsey course is great if you're learning right off the bat, like how to budget, how to even handle money and like how, why, like how does debt work? And so I don't like subscribe right now to like all of his teachings, but I think it's a great starting point. And so I learned from my brother and then my brother invested in those resources. And then now I've continued to kind of follow his footsteps into like who he went for taxes and like why he does certain things for taxes or health insurance. And so I think that was a big aspect for me. And then the third would just be my friends. Like honestly, I have learned so much from my circle and I feel very, very grateful to have friends that think about their finances, that think long-term, that are interested in investing long-term as well. And not just the budgeting and the strategies, but also the fun things that are like, okay, I want to own a beach house. How do we get there? And like, how is this going to happen? And I think that is a really powerful part of community where, um, if you're surrounded by people that aren't just talking about it, like, I want to have a beach house, but I will have a beach house and we're starting to save for it right now. Here's what that looks like. It just opens your mind to, oh wow, it actually doesn't take as much as one would think if you just do it consistently for a certain period of time to achieve something. And so that I think is the, like, one of the most powerful things is just Truly learning and closing that knowledge gap with either your friends or your family whenever you reach out to them for how they do things.

Yeah. And I think sometimes, sometimes if you are trying to start this conversation for the first time, it can be a little uncomfortable. Like, I remember the very, very first time that— this is kind of moving into another part of the the conversation around career transparency and, and even just like the wage gap and, and figuring out like, okay, am I making what I should make at work? And this was several, several years ago at a previous company. And I was with a, one of my favorite mentors, very close. Um, and we were talking about her salary trajectory from the moment she graduated college. She like walked me through every single job she had and how much money she made at each job and how different promotions got her X and Y, and then where she was at that moment in time. And I remember being like, oh my gosh, like that is so one, that is so much more than I'm making, like significantly more. She also had 7 years of experience on me. And I also was like, wow, it's amazing to see somebody with a skillset I admire and aspire to be making that amount of money. That's possible. Like, I didn't even necessarily know that, especially when in college or even in, on, in line online in society, it's like you get a corporate job, you make $50,000, $60,000, $70,000 a year, and then you just kind of work yourself up like a little bit by little bit. And so it was really nice to learn at 23, 24, Oh, I could be making six figures by the time I'm thirty. And so just like really starting to wrap my head around what was possible. And then since then, in the in inappropriate scenarios, being able to talk with women about how much money I've made in my career and how where I started to where I am right now. And I think that can really also show.

Mm-hmm.

And in another area, it's on the, on the like coaching business side, being transparent around your rates, why you charge that, what goes into charging that. Just the more that we can ask questions, how did you get there? Or, okay, I, you know, thank you so much for telling me that you got a promotion. What was your salary bump?

Mm-hmm.

Like, and I think again, it has to be appropriate. Like you have to have that relationship and that trust, but being able to know, okay, this is what this kind of promotion looks like. And this is a salary, um, that was attached to it. Okay. Now I know what I'm working towards or what I want to ask for next time. And so I think it's helpful to start these conversations with questions, but also sometimes it means that you might have to go first. Like my colleague did for me 7, 8, 9 years ago. She went first and she was like, do you talk about money very much? Like, do you in the work setting? And I was like, absolutely not. Very taboo. We don't talk about money. And she's like, I want to walk you through all the jobs I've had and all the salaries that was attached to each of them. And I want to show you like what's possible if you stay in this type of career. And I was like, okay. And I was very thankful and very Like open to her generosity in that moment, but I don't think I would have known to ask that. So sometimes it is being like telling people, I got a raise, this is what it was, and then like just talking and opening the door because a lot of people don't necessarily maybe want to— they want to know, but they are like, oh, should we talk about this or not?

Yes, absolutely. What an amazing thing your friend did for you and We need honestly more women in the workforce to be doing that for the women coming in and that they have no idea what's coming, what's possible for them in their career. And yeah, on the entrepreneurial side of things, I think it's similar too because you're working by yourself. No one's really going to tell you how to price yourself unless you seek out counseling or coaching and find out and ask friends what it is that they're charging as well. And I think that's where we can really get stuck in our own Limiting beliefs of okay, well this is what I think it's worth. This is fine. And I've met photographers that their work is insane, and they're charging way below, way, way, way below what they should be charging. And whenever we're able to have those pay transparency conversations with each other, like hey, here's how much I'm charging. You actually have way more experience than me. You've shot celebrity weddings. Like Here's what, like, here's what I think you should be charging. You do with that whatever you want. But I think empowering also our entrepreneurial friends and giving them that validation when you see it and not telling them what to do, but encouraging them like, hey, I think you're worth more. Maybe look into this can feel very, very empowering when you're in solo land and you believe that that is all that you can charge. And so similarly, someone did that for me. I did pay for like mentorship with, um, with her. But she walked through pay transparency. She's in the luxury market and it's insane how much she charges. She's worth every penny, but it opened my mind to, wow, there is a market for this. People are willing to pay for this. And you only need 10 weddings a year willing to pay that. Here's how that works. And it blew my mind. I was like, I, uh, usually it's more the starving artist. mindset that can fall with creatives, but that is so not true, especially in today's day and age where creatives are starting to be valued more for their work and what they produce and the time they put into it. And so, yeah, so little by little I started mentoring with her, um, in January. I've been taking like her course and stuff and my prices have been going up little by little. And then lately people have been booking like my top package where I thought, I was like, this is ridiculous. Like no one's going to book it, but I'll just throw it in there just to see. And I've gotten more connections with a few wedding planners and it's been getting booked. And so also sharing those wins with people in your inner circle too. Like I've been sharing that with more of the local photographers, like, hey, this was possible for me. I think it's possible for you too. You're so talented and helping each other rise also helps overall, like the, the whole industry. Yes.

And I think there's a, An important part of this conversation is recognizing that when you're starting out in your career or as an entrepreneur, it's very normal for your prices to be lower. Like coming out of college, my first job out of college, I was a contractor, which meant that I had to set aside, you know, money for taxes and insurance because the company wasn't, you know, that wasn't paying for that or wasn't helping me set that aside. So after taxes and insurance, I made $28,000 a year, my first job out of college. So it was a $40K job and I was making, you know, after setting aside that and having to pay taxes, I was, I made $28,000 and I was like, one, I, there's a part of me that's like, I have money. And then now there's a part of me that's like, wow, okay. I'm glad that we did that for a year, but we recognized very quickly that we can't stay there. But my point is, is even whenever I started coaching, my first coaching rates for, you know, my current coaching package of 2 sessions a month with unlimited access to me in between sessions was around $300 for the month, which is not terrible. I had to start somewhere as a newbie coach, but now I've worked myself up to $750, $800 a month. And now I can't tell you my current salary, but I make a lot more than $28,000 a year. And the point is showing the arc and showing that it is possible to make more over time. There are ways to make more quicker, of course, but it's also sharing that this is where you want to go. And I think I now, because of those conversations, I know what my salary, like my ideal salary is. I know what it is. I know what I'm working towards. I know the experience I need to get there and what I need to do to unlock that in the next 5 years. Right. So not even just where you are now as a wedding photographer, getting the rates you are right now, but it's also thinking because of these conversations and because of the mentorship that you've invested in and the conversations I've gotten to have with career women. Now you get to see like, this is where your rates are now, but think about where they're going to be in 5 years. And then think about where my salary or my coaching rates are going to be in 5 years based on the current experience in the market. So I think it's like, I love this conversation because it doesn't keep us stationary. It allows us to expand. It's like, this is where we get to really get into like, okay, what's next? You know, what, what more do you want To do what? What? How much more do you want to make? Where else do you want to make the money too? Like diversifying that income and talking through different revenue streams with your friends is really helpful. It's not like oh I just have my W two. There's lots of different ways Matthew and I make money right now, and and opening ourselves up to that because we've learned from other couples that have like hey I took this side gig or I do this XYZ and it helps me make an extra two thousand dollars a month. Which pays for daycare. And we're like, sign us up.

You know?

So just being willing to talk about different ways to make money outside of your primary source is also helpful. And I think we need to normalize that too. Because I don't know, do you ever sometimes like see folks online and you're like, how do you afford the lifestyle?

100%.

Are you in like a significant amount of credit card debt? Or like, those are sometimes the people I want price transparency from. I'm like, how much money do you make? How much money do you spend? And like, how much debt are you in?

Yes.

Um, I just, that sometimes, but it's, it can create this like unsatiable need to have more too. So I feel like there's a side of this conversation that can also sometimes turn more negative where it's like, We need more, we need more stuff, we need more money. And it's like, okay, what are you doing with it? How are you making the money work for you? Not just so that you can go buy more things, which like sometimes that's nice, but also sometimes that can be really detrimental to your debt.

Yes. Yes. Well, and it's also like, you don't know what you don't know, right? So sometimes you were encouraged by a lifestyle that we might want and we're like, okay, I'm going to work really hard to earn all that stuff. I want to fly business. I want to stay here. I want to do all that stuff. And then you might not realize Like well, these people are maybe getting a lot of points because of their job, so they're able to get a free flight because of it. And I've been transparent about that whenever I got like the Chase Sapphire shameless plug, like back in 2019. I remember I like sat down with Riley and I was like, "Here's why I got it. Here's why you need it as a videographer." Like you look at all the points that you can get from your business, you transfer it to personal, etc. And It's insane how much cash I have gotten back from using credit cards. But then again, it's one of those things where you don't know what you don't know. And so someone might see me traveling and getting an upgrade and you don't realize it was actually all paid with points because I have to pay a lot of bills and a lot of contractors with my business. And so I use that to pay for that. And so I think like that's one of the most powerful parts about community is seeing How differently people budget. I love whenever you've shared how you and Matthew do finances. You have your household income and then you each have your own accounts for your spending money and how that all works. It's so different than what we've been taught before and it opens up your mind to, okay, there's not just this one option where we manage our finances all together. Here's what other options are there, right? Let's explore that and see what works best for us. And even as people transition in their lives, like now you're stepping into motherhood, like it's been so interesting to hear what you and Matthew are exploring as far as investments for the kids and like all that side of finances.

Mm-hmm.

And so I think whenever you're just doing life with your people and they're open and gracious enough to share with you like how they're navigating all of those changes in their lives, Then when it's your turn, you're able to think through, okay, here's what they did. That's interesting. Let me like look at what other people are doing and kind of take A, B, and C and then make your own little concoction of what works for you and your family. And it makes it just less scary because honestly, finances are scary. Um, being in debt, having a loss, going through a divorce, like all those different things that are just so unforeseen sometimes.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I think can feel less scary whenever your people share how they prepare for it.

I agree. I, I never really grew up with knowledge around a 529 plan for kids. And so like literally, I don't know, day of or the day after we found out we were pregnant, we were like, we want to— Matt's like, I want to open up a 529 for them before they're even born. And so like we're in the process of working with our financial advisors on getting that set up. And then once we found out they were 2, we were like, okay, we like really, really want to set up a 529 plan. So we're putting aside, um, let me break this down because I, this is a Matthew like back of the napkin math, but we're going to start 529s, which is basically an education fund That is in your child's name. You can also do it for a family member. You can do it for a niece, nephew, whoever you want. Um, and it is a way to put money into something every month that grows because of the interest rate that's tied to that account. Um, so we're going to put $500 a month in each of the kids' 529 plans. So $1,000 a month.

Okay.

For the first, I think we're going to do like the first couple of years of their life. And then we're going to bump it down to $100 a month or something along the lines. It was like $100 to $200 a month after the first few years of their life. And then by the time they are 18, again, back of the, back of the napkin math here, each child will have around like $80,000.

Mm-hmm.

In each account to go to college, to pay for trade school, whatever kind of education they want. And for us, I, I couldn't imagine waiting until they're like 17, 18 and being like, go get out, go take out a bunch of student loans, which is very common, very, very common. Nothing wrong with that at all. Or we're going to try to help you pay for it out of pocket.

Yeah.

And we haven't saved for it at all. So this was kind of a nice, like, in-between buffer of, we want to help our kids with school. We believe in continuing education and also trade school, depending on if they don't want to, you know, go to university. That's totally fine with us. Um, but it's like, we also know that we probably at that point couldn't cover their entire education. So it's like, we want to help you get started. So that you don't feel overwhelmed with like crippling student loan debt, but also like just like, I don't know, it felt like a nice in-between for us of what we, what was possible, what we could afford now, and then being able to build on that over time. So that's something that we're working on, but I knew nothing about. And Matthew has taught me so much about finances and retirement and 401 and just like prepping for the future.

Yeah.

I am a very present-focused person. So he's really helped me see the value of that. And even just thinking about the gift of like a parent giving you $80,000 to help with school.

Yeah.

I mean, unreal. So the gift of being able to do that for our kids in 18 and a half years is really important for us. So it's like, okay, now we have to budget for that and we have to make sure that we can like Do that. Um, and then obviously like year, month over month, being able to adjust. If we're doing really well in our lives, in our jobs, we can put more in. Or if we are going through a low in our lives, in our jobs, we can put less in. But that's going to accrue over time because it's— the money's there.

Yes.

And I, I like that we can't touch it too. Like, it's there and, and it's, it's, um, something that Is for their future that we could never dip into, which I think is great.

Yes. Oh my gosh. It is so powerful to have access to that kind of account as well as like a retirement account and just like learning how to invest in both, like the ones that are for retirement and then the ones that you can just tack on. I forgot what the name of it is right now, but it's like the, the, the one that you can basically create an additional early retirement for yourself and withdraw money. And that was something that blew my mind that I'm starting to learn this past year when I invested in, um, Like a financial course, it's how much money we think we think we need to save to have the money that we want. But actually, it's just consistency over time and how life-changing that can be. And so hearing these types of things from friends, family, your circle, a podcast that you routinely listen to can be so life-changing. So then you share with your family. I remember going back to my family and being like. We all want to win $1 million. Some of you are buying lottery tickets every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. Like if you just grab your lottery ticket money every month and put it towards your retirement, you actually would be in great shape. So, and so you just don't know what you don't know, but I feel like being able to have those discussions and make that circle also very wide and varied. And if you don't have that within your friends, Mm-hmm. friend circle or your family circle. Like, is there someone in your life that you can think of that is very financially stable, very financially secure, and has done well for themselves? And you're like, hey, can I take you out for coffee? Would you be open to sharing maybe not the details of your finances, but like the strategy that got you to where you're at and how you've approached some things? I really respect like where you're at in life. And unless they do that for a living, I feel like most people would be happy to share. Their experience. So yeah, yeah. Any other thoughts before we wrap up?

I was just gonna mention that I think too, when you share your financial goals with your friends, like saving for a house or saving for a move, you're paying off debt— when it happens, your friends get to celebrate that with you. And it's not something, again, like you're only celebrating privately. But with your closest, closest friends, it's like, I got the promotion I've been working on, or we hit our savings goal for the house we want to buy next year. And it's like, oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you. But like just being able to share something like that with your friends and they're genuinely excited for you, I think it helps you, one, have that level of accountability of like, you know, Astrid asking me like, how's your guys' savings goal for Nashville? You've talked about it. Like, how's it going? Okay, well we're here. We're not quite where we want to be, but like there's the accountability piece, but then there's also the celebration piece when those things do happen. That's really special that you get to build that trust with your friends, but also that like celebration and support from your friends when you do hit those financial milestones.

Yes, absolutely. And honestly, it's motivating. Like whenever I've been just not as focused on my finances and then you're like, oh yeah, we're locking in. I'm like, oh, okay, well now that motivates me to lock in. I'm like, okay, maybe I should lock in too. And it's like, that's beautiful support of community where it just keeps you in check whenever you're just not feeling like it or don't feel like being looking at your retirement account, which I totally understand.

So I get that. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, hopefully you all found this episode inspiring. Hopefully you took a lot of knowledge from it and we encourage you to Reach out to your people to start some of those conversations and put money on the table.

Let's go. Let's make money. Let's talk about money. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening. We hope this was helpful for you. If you ever want to connect with us, you can do that at inbetween.pod, or you can connect with me personally at Alexis Teichmiller, and you can connect with me at Astra Johanna Photo.

We will talk to you next time.