3 Questions to Reflect on Before the End of 2023

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

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Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. This is one of your hosts, Astrid.

And the other half, Alexis. And today on The In Between Pod, we're going to be talking about reflecting on 2023. I know, I know, like, I literally cannot believe how quickly this year went by. But the reason that we wanted to have this reflection conversation at the beginning of December is I think that we can be really intentional about the energy that we bring into January. And sometimes when we like kickstart the process a little earlier, we can get clarity on, okay, like what goals are really important for me next year? How can I actually start on them now and not January 1st? Like, what are habits I want to kind of let go of or be more mindful of? And in the rest of 2023. But also, Ashlyn and I have both experienced a lot of growth this year in our personal lives and in our businesses and in our careers. So yeah, we were excited to do a reflection episode. We did these last year and they were some of my most fond episodes ever.

I love— I think it's the goal-setting girly in us that is like, let's Let's restart. Let's refresh. Let's get focused. And I love this topic too, because as someone who honestly can't really create goals on demand, that just feels like a lot of pressure to January 1st or December 31st, I'm going to sit down and write out all of my goals for the year.

Right.

I love this conversation because we're just bringing things to the forefront. We're starting the conversation for you guys that are all listening. And then you're able to just digest on this the whole month. You're able to just, as you're driving, As you're doing chores around the house, just be like, okay, what am I proud of? What do I wish would've been different? What did I learn? And then when the time comes at the end of the year, then you're ready to journal through those and set some intentions for 2024. Yeah.

So before we dive into today's topic, how was your weekend? This was Thanksgiving weekend. Um, so many, so many like dynamics, you know, it's like you're celebrating. There's also Black Friday, Cyber Monday. Like there's just, You're grateful and then let's spend money. It's like these 2 messages. There's so much in 4 days.

My cup is full and now let's empty it.

Exactly. Exactly. I'm so grateful. Let's go pour out into the economy.

Oh my gosh. Well, if you listened to last week's episode on burnout and just dealing with stress, I feel like the polar opposite. From where I was at last episode. I feel like I really took the information that we chat through and healed through my almost burnout, and I feel like a new human. So my Thanksgiving break was really great. The front forefront of it was a little bit busier with family and friends, and that was everything that kind of filled my cup up at that point. And then honestly, after Thanksgiving, I just dropped off the face of the earth. I was like, I didn't post a thing on Instagram till Sunday afternoon. It felt so good. I slept maybe 10 to 12 hours every day. I just let my body rest.

Yeah.

I let myself have a slow morning. And I think something that I reflected over the weekend is that my natural self is actually a lot more, um, softer on the weekends, but I spend the majority of my life being very structured, very like go, go, go. And so even on days off, that pours into my weekends where I'm like, okay, let's get out of bed. And I have to get all these things done. And it just felt really good to go back to that softer side of myself. How was it in your weekend though?

I could not agree more. I feel like I'm the same way, very structured routine during the week. And then on the weekends, I just want to feel a sense of extreme flexibility and freedom to do whatever I want.

Absolutely.

The weekend was really good. I'm glad that you got rest. You were able to unplug and like truly just have some time to yourself and with your family. Thanksgiving was really good. This was Matthew and I's first Thanksgiving, just us as a married couple on our own. So that was really exciting. And shout out to all my long-distance daughters out there. Who live away from family or are choosing to do holidays differently, even if that means that you still miss your family and you still like long for, you know, that like traditional community. I feel you. That was me this, this weekend. But we got to go spend time with Matthew's family, um, later in the weekend, which was really lovely. And yeah, I also feel like I was sharing this with Astrid between Cyber Monday and the anxiety around missing out on a deal. There's so much FOMO of like, okay, I've waited. I should spend. Okay, I'm going to spend. And then you spend and you're like, oh my gosh, I have anxiety about spending.

Yeah.

Or with Thanksgiving and a lot of holidays, maybe your consumption routine is just off. Maybe you're drinking more than normal or whatever the case is. I felt so, so, so anxious on Saturday about just like I was consuming more of a lot of things than normal. And I was like, okay, I need to sit down and like recenter. This doesn't have to like seep into my identity. This is just where we are right now in this moment. And what do I want to do tomorrow? This is how I closed out Saturday. I was like, okay, what do I want to do tomorrow that gives me the control that I'm looking for and helps me reset. And so I went back to those foundational habits that we talk about a lot on the podcast and meal prepped and cleaned and unpacked and got our environment like, you know, back to normal after a trip. And it really does make like such a big difference when you feel that anxiety and then you actually allow yourself to have control over what you can. Like we can't control everything, But I do feel like sometimes when I get anxious or I'm feeling really low, I'll just like lean into that and I'm like, well, this is just how I'm going to feel for 5 days now. It's like, okay, what can we like control of this? And that was really helpful yesterday. So did a little reset Sunday, feeling good, ready for like the new year. It's crazy how one reset day I'm like, I went from being anxious and being like, 2023 was a wash. Like I was just So anxious. And then today I'm like, okay, how are we going to end strong? 2024 is our year. It's like the dichotomy of the human brain is crazy.

This is why we're best friends, because that was me earlier last year. I was like, I have failed as a human this year. And then Sunday I'm like, let's go, financial freedom, let's go, like cleanliness, go.

I mean, I literally just signed up before we started recording. I just signed up. There's this girl I follow. We should start recommending people to follow that we find really a lot of value from. Money with Katie on Instagram.

Yes. I've been listening to her podcast.

I love her.

Yes.

Yeah. Money with Katie on Instagram. She's doing a 75 Richer Challenge. Okay.

Tell me more. What is it?

It starts tomorrow and it goes until the end of Jan— goes until the 1st of February. So she's challenging you over the holidays and into the new year to like, how do you become 75 days richer by like going through this?

I'm in. I'm in. I was listening to her while I cleaned this weekend. So it's so funny that you've mentioned it.

Overall challenge rules: cook at home 6 times a week, no discretionary purchases over $25. Gifts are an exception because it's Christmas. And then setting up one new auto transfer for each month an investment account of your choosing or increase your existing investments by 10%. And then she has like every day— or sorry, once a month you cancel a subscription. You listen to one money podcast episode each week. You read one book about money over the 75 days. You unfollow one account every week that influences you to buy stuff you don't need.

Oh my gosh.

Like literally, if I'm going to— when Matthew gets home, I'm like, baby, We're doing the 75.

I was just thinking that. I was like, I'm sending this to Nick.

We're doing the 75 Richer Challenge. Like, we need this. And she also has like a spreadsheet where you can like track what you're saving. So I feel like that's right up your alley because you're a numbers girly. Um, so anyways, that's— that was my weekend. Sorry, I went on a tangent there, but— No, this is amazing.

I mean, this is amazing. I love it. I am so excited. That's exactly where all of my brain was this past weekend. I'm like, okay, This is how much I want to start putting into investment next year. I was like, next year is my investment year. I need to start buying stocks. I need to start buying things that actually make me more money. And anyway, I am in. And if anyone listening wants to join, go and follow Money with Cake— Money with Katie. Listen to her podcast, sign up, and let us know that you're doing this challenge along with us. And we can all just share all of our experience and be 75 days richer. And so Money with Katie sponsor us because he's just sponsor the pod.

Yeah, I'm also like I'm going to Nashville this weekend. I'm going to London at the end of the month. I'm like no discretionary purchases over twenty five dollars.

You're like Matthew is gifting me everything. Yeah, I'm like oh Matthew will you buy me this? It's free if you buy it with points. Exactly, that's very true.

That's very. Um, so, uh, switching topics to what are you in between right now? So at the beginning or at the like early part of each episode we always share what we're in. between right now. And we always believe that you're in between something. So I feel like you— I always make you go first. Do you want me to go first this week? Unless you already have one?

You can go first. Okay, I have a few. Yeah.

Thank you so much.

I'm a gentlewoman.

Such a good friend. Okay, so what am I in between right now? I am in between that I kind of mentioned this last week on the podcast of like the winding down energy of end of year and then the ramping up of the new year. I have been getting a lot of clarity in the gym lately. Like when I'm moving my body, ideas are coming to me and I'm getting clearer on things. And so I've been taking down notes of like what I— things I want to do next year and what I can start working on right now. And so what I'm in between is not making me— not— my mindset sometimes can say, well, I have all these ideas. I'll get to them in January.

Hmm.

And what I'd like to do in December is I'd like to sit down and actually brainstorm and kind of draw out steps of, okay, if I pursue this idea, then these are the steps in which like aren't going to need to happen in order for me to do that? And then by building out some of those steps and those processes, I can get clarity on what I end up saying yes to. Instead of getting to January and saying, okay, I have this list of like 4 potential paths I want to take. I'm so overwhelmed. There's this new year energy. It's like, no, we've already mapped out potential processes and steps for each of these. We're not doing anything yet, but we're like getting clarity on the decision so that when January comes, I'm ready to decide and I can actually give myself the space to really mull something over before taking action instead of that impulsive January action that can sometimes lead us to do things that we don't actually really even want to do. But it's like, new goals, new year, like I got to go do it. And it's like, okay, is that actually strategically what you want to do? So I am susceptible to that and I know that. So I want to spend some time this month mapping that out a bit more.

I love that, especially because I think sometimes whenever we leave things to the specific timeline, say setting goals in January and you're supposed to start a week after that, that is exactly when we don't give enough breathing room to our creative ideas, to our brain to function, to just be able to digest it all and hit the ground running. And it's almost like we allow a refinement process whenever we start that much earlier, where you got the idea, you're working on those steps now, and then it's in, it's in your brain. And like while you're traveling, while you're in the holidays or working out, you refine and refine and refine, and then you can just hit the ground running when the year comes.

Yeah.

And I feel like there's so much anxiety that happens around the new year, so I love that because it's A very practical way to make it digestible and ease up on the New Year anxiety that can happen that first week.

Big time. What about you? What are you in between right now?

Oh, honestly, along the same, uh, lines of really— I'm already on the casting vision for 2024 side of things, and it really just happened this weekend as I took time to rest. I feel like I Caught up with a lot of work last week and just had room and space for me. And as I did stuff around the house, I had the breathing room to just listen to podcasts, listen to things and be like, actually, that resonates. Actually, that's where I want to go. Or this was what I was missing. And so on a similar vein, I just started writing on my cell phone as I was listening to stuff, just different things that I was like, okay, I like this, I like this. And I'm not going to take all of it, but I'm just putting down notes of what it is that I want to do for next year. And so something that I am in between is, I guess, mourning the sides of me that I'll have to let go of in order to step into some of those things that I really want to happen next year. And it's hard. It was hard this year to let those fears go. It's weird. It's like part of your identity where you just hold onto them and then you step into it and it's so freeing. And then that becomes your new comfort zone. And so, yeah, so I guess I'm in that in-between stage of being so excited for the new things and also realizing what it's going to take of me to step into that.

Yeah. It's also difficult to know exactly what it will take too. So while you might be mourning, I would also like, don't overthink the mourning process because you don't know what you'll have to let go and how it might— it might look the same, it might look different. Because I feel like sometimes we can be like, oh, I'm gonna have to let all of this go and that's gonna be really hard. But maybe that morphs into something else.

Yeah, so true.

Because I, I— for— I'll speak on behalf of myself. I sometimes am like, oh, So much is going to have to change in order for me to do that. I don't know. I kind of like where I am right now. And so then I end up not doing it. And it's like, oh, if I would have just done it, my life would look like this and I wouldn't have had to necessarily sacrifice or say no to all these things. It might just look a little different. But it doesn't mean like— it's kind of that all or nothing thinking, which I catch myself in all the time.

Yeah. I think for me, honestly, it's working a lot on my mindset and what I feel like is possible for my life. And so it's like I have a gravity or a ball that just like pulls me down to certain thoughts of like, this is what my life is going to look like. And I know that's not where I want to be, so I have to continuously like push myself out of there, and that takes work. And so I'm excited for that side of things, but it's definitely a challenge.

Yeah, it's a journey. It's a journey. Speaking of journey, And reflecting on it.

Let's reflect on our journey of 2023. Oh my gosh. Okay. I truly am so excited to deep dive into this because it's something that, A, we love to reflect on the year, but also as friends, we get to do this on the podcast while everybody else is listening. And it's such a special time. And so through today's podcast, like we mentioned earlier, we'll be reflecting on the year. But specifically, we're going to be chatting through the things that we're proud of, the things that we wish would have been different, and also the things that we learned. And so sometimes we focus too much on the things that we wish would have been different and that we would have learned and not really reflect on the things that we're proud of. And so equally being able to carry all of the things, we invite you to journal through some of those. And then now through this episode, we will be sharing some of ours.

Yes, I am really looking forward to this. This is genuinely like one of my favorite, my favorite things to do at the end of the year is to reflect. So, um, do we want to start with things I'm proud of?

Yes, yes. Okay, do you want to go ahead and kick us off?

Sure. Okay, the first thing I'm proud of is my morning routine.

Yes.

This was the year that I joined the 5 AM Club. So late last year, my husband listened to the Audible book of— it's called The 5 AM Club, or like 5 AM Mornings or something like that, 5 AM Club. And he was like, okay, I don't know, something in him just flipped a switch. And he's like, I'm getting up at 5 AM every day and I want time for myself and I'm going to start working out in the morning. And like, this is, this is what I want with my life. And I am a night owl and I like to sleep in. And at this point, like I was still doing my morning routine, but not nearly like now. And all that to say, I wake up at 5:30 in the morning and it's genuinely changed the way that I view my routine, the way that I view my mornings. And I love the commitment to myself every morning. And it's been a huge refining process for me mentally of what I think I'm capable of. And the discipline that you have on a daily basis in order to stay committed to that routine. Because it's a very like, if you don't wake— if you don't go to bed on time, that 5:30 wake-up is gonna really suck. But sorry, you did that to yourself. So like, I know that sounds really harsh, but there has to be that like self-parenting whenever you do something hard, especially when, for me, waking up early.

Yes.

This was the year of The 5 AM Club, and I'm really proud of that.

I'm so proud of you. I met— well, like, we grew our friendship in 2020, and 5 AM Club would be nowhere near in sight. Who is she? Who is she?

The year 2020 Alexis.

Literally, if we were to put 2020, uh, morning routine side by side with 2023, it is night and day, and it's inspiring. I, um, started to do a little bit of The 5 AM Club last week, and I about died. So It definitely takes a lot of discipline, like you said, of backtracking all the time the night before to be able to make it through the next day with enough energy to last you the whole day. It's crazy.

Sometimes I'm like, it's 8 o'clock at night and I'm like, I've been up for a long time. I'm like, wow, I've really been up. But my energy sustains so much. I mean, I used to sleep until 8, 8:30, roll out of bed right into my laptop for years. And so that shift really helped me and like helped me with my energy a lot. But what about you? What's, uh, your first thing that you're proud of for this year?

My first thing, honestly, um, first one would be going to Dallas for a month. Um, I feel like that was something that really scared me to do, to move somewhere for a month. And now that I think back on it, I'm like, oh, it's so simple. I could easily do it again. But it, it was daunting to me. And then I committed to having the experience. There was an ice storm, still drove down in an ice storm. Like, it delayed all the stuff, packed everything up, got there, and got out of the experience exactly what I was looking for. I just At that point in time, felt very dismotivated, very burnt out from the year, didn't quite know where I wanted to go. And the new year energy actually had me very anxious. And I had some idea, but it just freaked me out. And so switching up my environment switched my mindset, switched what I wanted my life to look like, what I want to work really hard towards, where I want to shift my lifestyle to. And yeah, I'm just really proud of just switching things up and doing something different and making the investment. And it really impacted the rest of my year.

I felt like witnessing you through that experience, I feel like the person that entered into Dallas Was different than the woman that left Dallas. And I think what's so cool about that is sometimes we think that we need a lot of time or this like huge life shift to experience transformation. And you were able to unlock really important transformation for your business and for your personal life in a month.

Mm-hmm.

And it was really cool to see you like overcome obstacles And push through and do that. And then you got, you got what you came for, I would say. Wouldn't you?

Absolutely. I got my money's worth for sure. I think that I cannot recommend that experience to anyone enough because it's— every place teaches you something and staying there for an extended period of time is great. And if you feel stuck in a rut, like just shift, shift your environment, take off those daily responsibilities and take the time, especially it's a new year. approaches, even if it's just a weekend of stepping away and imagining a new life for yourself and like, what would that look like? And so that really, really helped me. I'm glad I did it. And I will be doing a version of that next year too, which I'm really excited for. Yes. What is another thing that you are proud of?

Yes. Next is I felt like this was the year of the level up for me. In a lot of ways in my career specifically. So I feel like I got to, I had a lot of experiences and opportunities at work. So I work as the partnerships manager at a software company called Circle, and we are a community platform in the creator professional, like enterprise creator slash brand online business space. And so this past year, I got a lot of experiences with project management, running very large online summits. And it's something that I had done in the past, but this, I was like the sole owner on these very large marketing campaigns. And I really felt myself level up in my communication and my reporting and my data and my presentation skills. Like because of those opportunities, I met them and I really was proud of the way that I carried all the way through those, those different experiences that I knew I wanted to develop. And then I also feel like on the coaching side, on the business confidence coaching side, I feel like taking on new clients and growing my coaching business as the side hustle was also something that would have really— between the day job and a prominent side hustle, I do not think that I could have managed it mentally 2 years ago. And I feel like where my habits are, where my systems are, where my mindset is, and where my boundaries are, I feel like I was able to manage 2 very large responsibilities and be proud of that and not be like, oh, I feel like I'm failing in this and I'm failing in that. Just feeling really leveled up and like, yeah, I got this. What more can you throw at me? And I did not have that mindset a year ago. And I'm really proud of that. And then the other piece of leveling up in my career is the consistency that we've both experienced on the podcast. You know, we've exceeded 20K downloads. We've built this amazing community of women and some men that listen to the podcast, you know, who are growth-minded, who want to grow in their careers and their businesses and in their lives. And I'm really proud of us for making this a commitment weekly. To record, to put out, you know, valuable, hopefully like quality content to inspire people and to build a community around it. So yeah, I'm really proud of that because that's not a small feat. Like that, that commitment to a weekly show is, you know, we could easily be like, oh, I'm busy, I'm tired, I'm burnt out. Like we committed to this and I'm so proud of us. So yeah, those are the things I like underneath leveling up. I was like, I have 3 level-ups that I want to talk about.

Oh, I love that. I could not be more proud of you. If just watching even the summit that I joined live online of Circle was amazing, like top-notch quality, which I would expect nothing less. And also seeing it all come together, it was like, look at her go. Look at her interviewing skills. Look at the way she connects with everyone, the way you manage the And at the end of it all, it's the beautiful impact that you have caused this year too because of your quality of work and the way that you coach your clients and your consistency to show up on the podcast too. It's beautiful to witness and beautiful to see that it's not just another goal. The goal is just how you get there, but it's more about the impact and really helping people. And I love that you have chosen careers and businesses that also help you get there. So I'm so proud of you. You've absolutely killed it this year.

Thank you. I appreciate that. And I own that. And I just feel like that is— we've both experienced different levels of growth and hard seasons where it's like, oh, I just like, I don't know, what am I doing? I don't have clarity. But I just feel like owning this level up this year just proves that I'm ready for whatever's coming for me next. And that's really exciting. So what's, what's up next for you?

Um, I just had like a split second. I was like, when we're in our 50s in Paris and just like looking back at everything that we've done.

When we own, when we own our own flat in our 50s in Paris. Let's go.

Come on. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, The next one for me, something that I'm really, really proud of is creating and cultivating a very healthy relationship in my personal life. After experiencing so much heartbreak and going through a very emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, I feel like your internal compass can just feel like it's all over the place. And while we had started dating last year, it was really this year that the relationship took a lot more roots to it. And it was a moment where I really had to face my own fears. And I had to kind of marry together what I've learned in therapy and what I know my intuition is telling me, and being in the moment without getting so far ahead. Because something that can come from traumas. You just want that security. And so I'm just really proud of the way that I've navigated all those ebbs and flows, been able to heal, been able to really communicate what was going on in each of the phases, been really to being able to really decipher what is in front of me and what the situation is and choosing, okay, is this the person for me right now? Yes, it is. And choosing to move forward in that. And there was just so many layers of acceptance, of healing, of letting someone in, of letting someone help me. And finally, I would say midsummer is when I felt like I could 1,000% trust and be like, okay, I don't have to have my guard up anymore. This is actually someone I can fully, fully trust. And it took me a year to get there. in a very healthy relationship. And so I'm very grateful for that. I'm very grateful for him. And I'm very just proud of myself for the way that I've shown up in the relationship and let myself have the gift of falling in love again and ease the pressure where it needed to be eased at certain times and just be more free-flowing, which is really, really hard when you're scared of getting hurt again.

That's huge. It's been really powerful to witness you walk through that experience this year. And I know that you have— we talk about this a lot, like healing happens in layers. And I feel like this year in particular, there were a lot of layers that you had to navigate and heal on your own and inside your relationship.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm really proud of the way that you both have just been so So patient with each other and very kind and very compassionate and empathetic. You with him as he navigates what it's like to be with someone who has had that trauma in their life. And then you also like being patient with yourself and like, okay, I can't judge myself. This is just how I'm feeling right now. I can't judge this trigger. I can't judge this memory. I have to just navigate this and be patient with myself and sit in it when I need to sit in it and move through it when I need to move through it. And I'm really proud of you.

Thank you. Thank you, love. Yeah, it's hard. It is not an easy feat. And I feel like there was a lot of times where I just thought life would be a lot easier if I was just like the cool single aunt forever and ever. And that's really not who I want to be. And so Yeah, props to you. I know a lot of us have gotten our hearts shattered and loving again is hard. So shout out to all of us who put ourselves out there again and put in the work. What is something else that you're proud of?

Well, in the relationship vein, I was going to say that I'm really proud of Matthew and I's growth in our marriage this year, particularly because This November marked one year of living together consecutively after nine and a half years of being together. So it was our first year together, like filed in nine year over nine years. And you know, it was there was an adjustment period. There were just a lot of things that we navigated this year that we hadn't before because of the the consistency. We were consecutively together, living together on a daily basis, that when you're 4 years into your marriage, you don't necessarily like— you're like, oh, that's something that you would have experienced the first year of marriage or year 2. And it's like, no, we're year 4 and we're going at our own pace with our life and our family. And it just feels really good to have an equal partner in that.

Mm-hmm.

And to see— I'm always surprised. surprised, not surprised, but like, I'm just always so thankful and like, wow, like, this is my partner.

Hmm.

Like, I just always have that like, oh my gosh, like, we're, we're in love with each other. And like, I know that sounds so silly, but just navigating so many different things together and so much distance and to experience our first year and be like, wow, okay, we're prioritizing date nights, we're prioritizing honesty. And hard conversations about our future and our career. And we're learning when to push each other and when to hold each other accountable and when to support and when to be more maybe soft and compassionate. And you learn that through time and proximity together. And I feel like we're kind of unlocking a new layer of that because we've been together now longer than we have ever before. And so it's really cool.

I love that. I have loved watching your relationship blossom and also see how much it's impacted you as a person.

Yeah.

I feel like it has unlocked a whole new layer of you because you have this whole side of your partner there all the time, consistently. And that has been really beautiful to witness and also to see how you both knew you were each other's person and you support each other in so much and grew that relationship. But now it's like, oh, this is why we're each other's person. A whole new layer of that decision of like, yes, we click 100%. You get me, I get you. We're in this together no matter what. And I feel that. I feel that from both of you of like, it's us, not against the world, but like getting through life together. And I've got your back. And that's beautiful to see. Yeah.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I feel that too. And I, I realized that me without him is— and not to like put so much stock in a relationship because I know that's not healthy. But it's like, I was really lonely and sad. And I really struggled with my mental health living on my own when he was working abroad. And like having someone in the home, like really Having him there helps my mental health, like just period. It just does. Like being in community with someone helps my mental health so much. And so it just, yeah, I have felt a sense of like being able to rest for the first time mentally, if that makes sense, by having him there.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Um, any, anything else you want to add to things you're proud of?

You're like, I cannot wait to give him the biggest hug after this. So sweet. My last one is on my business side of things. It was a really, really big year. I feel like last year was really more me getting a footing on being a full-time entrepreneur. And this year I really stepped into a lot of things I wanted to do for a really, really long time. And really it unlocked, it started unlocking in Dallas where I just told myself, This is a time to step into that, and what I've done is is good, but it's not where we want to go. And so yeah, so this year I grew my team. I have we're now a team of six, which is so incredible, and it's truly the best women I could ever ask for. I've started doing a lot of weddings and shoots with them, and and having them shoot that on their own, and being able to trust them and see that they actually. Can get my vision and execute on it. And all of it has been wonderful. And then another side of things would be booking more international weddings. So like 2024 is really packed with tons of international and a European one, which was on my vision board. I booked it. And then launching my first like educational online coaching side of things as well. Putting that together, all like the labor, the love, the brainstorming part of it. And then being able to bring together to like all of that education into the other like people that I've coached throughout this past year that just reach out and they're like, hey, I want to learn from you. Here's the marketing branding identity. And just really stepping into that and opening a new door officially, I guess, to the business of I want to step more into this side of things and help more business owners specifically, has been really, really cool to just let myself be and not just take off the pressure, just be like, this is where my intuition is guiding me. And I don't care if a million other people are doing it. That's where I want to go. And that's where I'm being called to. And I just feel like I've gotten bolder with my voice in my business and just been like, This is the right decision for my business. Let's go. And then the last one is, well, I have 2 more within the business side. One is I got a lot more financially disciplined in my business. And so I got my savings down, I got my emergency fund down, like 2 different accounts, and then my cash flow down. And it just, that was my biggest goal for 2023. And it feels so good to be at the end of the year with those accounts where they need to be. And the last one is our podcast and the speaking event that we got to do together is like, just blows my mind.

Yeah.

Just seeing it live and seeing people connect with us live. I still can't process where we get DMs and we get different things and then also seeing it come together in person. There was just something about the tangible community and response that felt wonderful. And every DM too is like, okay, there are people listening out there. They are enjoying this podcast. This is resonating with them. And that has been another layer of impact that has been very beautiful to have been a part of.

Yes, I could not agree more. You're such a boss. Like, I've always known you were a boss. Like, this year, I feel like you went from boss to almost like CEO over a company and like the decisions that you were making to grow your team and getting all of your finances to a place where you're like, okay, we're going to scale this. We're going to invest this. Like just watching you navigate that and the decisions that you had to make was really cool as a friend. And then on the podcast side, seeing it come to life and it be real. Like, you know, we meet once a week and we talk in these mics and I see you and it's like, this is fun. We put it out. We share on social.

Yeah.

But it's like, okay, this is like, there's even more here. You know, I think that's kind of what that speaking engagement in Dallas did for me is like, oh my gosh, like there's a whole other layer to this that I'm excited for us to tap into whenever we're at that stage. So yeah, I agree. Those were— this was the year of the level up for you too?

Yes. Yes. Look at us growing.

The last little short one I'll say on things I'm proud of is the community that I've built in Houston. This year, I walked into January and I said my goal is to meet really quality girlfriends and build a community. And I did. And I feel really proud of that. Like, started a book club, have a few really, really close girlfriends and who have great partners and like, fun double dates. And it also, it's not about quantity too. And I've really like gone deep with a few, and that feels really, really good. So I'm just proud of the community that Matthew and I are building. And it's really cool to see like, okay, this is what 11 months looks like. Like, what's it gonna look like next year?

Yeah.

So yeah, I'm excited.

I'm so proud of you. I think a lot of times that can— a process will take a lot longer than 12 months to find the right people and to basically friendship date to find them. And I'm so proud of both of you for having that level of consistency and intentionality in your already very busy lives to seek out this community and to, at the end of the year, be wrapping up with, okay, we found our people and this feels amazing. So I love that for you. Thank you.

Do you want to switch to next question? Is there anything else you had to add?

No, that is all for me.

Next question, what do I wish would have been different? And as Astrid mentioned at the beginning of the pod, sometimes we can spend too much time here, and then also sometimes we can like gloss over and say, look at all the things that went well, but not acknowledge some of the things that we wish would have been different. And so we want to We want to include this in here, not because we want to focus too much on it, but also not because we want to avoid it. So it's helpful to look at like, okay, what, what I wish would have been different. Do you want to kick us off?

Yes. Yes. So something that I wish would have been different is actually more focus on my health, my movement, and my nutrition. And so I think I had a solid baseline, but out of all years in the past 5 years, this was probably my lowest just because there was so much stress that came with a lot of the things that I mentioned that I was proud of in the business. A lot of things that just felt out of my comfort zone, a lot of things that came out of left field. And I'm like, what is happening? There was a span of months that it just felt like I would fix one problem. The next week there was another problem. I would fix a problem. The next week it was the whole summer. And that stress just really took a lot on me. And I had a lot of anxiety when it came to eating. I didn't want to move my body. I was extra tired from all the stress, and I wasn't as consistent with my movement routine as I would've wanted to be. So that's something that I want to be different. On a different side, I was good about having more massages and my skincare and all of that grew, and I really wanted that wellness side of things to grow. But going into 2023, And even this later part of the year, I've already started to cook more at home, to plan better for those very stressful weeks and be like, okay, here's how we're meal prepping for this. I feel so much better when I do this. And things that I already know, but actually doing it for me is great. And also it felt like a setback because I hadn't done some of those habits in a really long time. Happens when you're stressed out. The worst of us comes out.

Yeah, I feel that though. I think it's interesting that you said that this felt like the reason, not the reason, but essentially when there's an area of your life that you feel like is really taking off and you're really proud of it, sometimes there's another area of your life that you're not focused as much energy on. And it's like, Sometimes that's just very natural and you can't beat yourself up about it. And then also you're like, okay, I recognize that. Here are the things I want to do differently through that. So I'm proud of you. How has this— you're on week 2 of personal training, right?

Yes. Oh my gosh, I could not move last week.

Were you so sore?

I was so sore. I could feel abs I didn't know I had. It was just insane. Insane. I am training again with him at the end of this week, so I will update. But I've already started to make more steps towards my health, and hiring a personal trainer was one of them. Yes.

I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Okay. Things I wish would have been different. My ego is hurting. The book writing process—it was much harder than I thought it would be, and I—I feel like I was a flame that burned really, really, really, really hot. And then, after like chapter nine, I just kind of fell off. I don't know. I haven't written in a while, and something I'm learning through this process is that the more that time passes. The harder it is to start again, especially on something that is so emotional. And I've tried taking the emotion out of it. I've tried to like treat it like a business project. I've tried to treat it like art. I've tried different methods with the book writing process. And I think through that, I, I just haven't picked it back up. And so there's a part of me that wants to say 2024 is the year, but I said that in 2023. And when I started the year, I— like, people that I went through my program with in March, they launched their books this month. And I'm like, it's so cool. And like, I'm genuinely very, very happy for them. And I'm like, oh dang, like I do feel the the regret, the I don't know disappointment maybe in myself by not sticking with that commitment. So I'm not holding myself from this position of shame. I really am looking at it from like this is something I'm learning about myself and it's still something that I want to do. It's still still something that is really important to me. And I think a part of the process is that I want to do it in private.

Hmm.

And I think a lot of my life I do in public, and I share a lot because I like to. And I think that there was a part of sharing the book writing process that felt very gratifying. And it's like, okay, I'm making progress. I wrote this many words. I'm at this many words. Because I see other entrepreneurs do that. And I think through that process, like when I wouldn't hit it and I would want to like not share or I'd want to hide basically because I wasn't making the progress I wanted to. And I'm like, gosh, what if I just wrote this book for myself?

Hmm.

And not because I wanted to share the writing process. Like obviously I want to write a book to help people about confidence. Yes, 100%. But the process itself, what if that could just be for me?

Yeah.

And I feel like there's just some more work I need to do around that, but that's what I wish would've been different.

Thank you for sharing. I think it can be so hard whenever we expect certain things of ourselves and then we don't meet that. And also meeting ourselves with grace in, okay, what are the lessons that I'm learning and picking up along the way? Perhaps this is a season of learning what is your author style, and you've had a voice for writing in different ways before and in showing up on social media before. And this is a voice that is different. And it's hard whenever we're not so fine-tuned in that process because you have your author voice as far as writing, but the process itself, like what gets Alexis there, and it can be hard. to make room for that journey while you're like, okay, well, chop chop, I've got this deadline. We can't just be letting creativity flow out there. Can you flow at this time because I need to get this done?

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, it's been a learning process, but I noticed too, when friends will ask me how it's going, I'm like, you know? And I feel like that's when you know that there's some work to be done. You know, so that's the only thing I wish would have been different, like at that scale. Was there anything else you wanted to add?

Um, as far as things that I wish were different? Yes, I have, um, I have 2 more. One of mine is I wish I would have had more breathing room in my time with hanging out with family and friends that isn't so scheduled. Like, I think at the beginning of the year I actually felt the same way, and so I decided, okay, I'm going to schedule this in because then I will make it happen. So I had monthly hangouts with the nephews and all these different things. And that's lovely. And I don't want to be the person that people feel like they have to book in 6 months from now. I want to be the friend that people can be like, hey, it's Friday night. What are you guys doing? You want to come over? That kind of friend. And maybe that's just not possible for me in this season of life. And also, it's just hard to be that person where you're like, okay, well, how is Wednesday from 3 months from now? I'll be home then. And yeah, I don't think I have a solution for that. I don't know yet how I want to approach it in 2024. I just know that I miss my family a lot and life is flying by. And actually, I was thinking about this this morning of Okay, this is just a season and I'm building and I'm doing all these things. And then another thought popped up. It was like, well, 5 years ago when you started the business, you told yourself that too. And so I think I just have to make it a priority and make it time. And sometimes it's just like with your person, we have so much quality time, or even by myself, because that's just effortless. But with other people, it's, it takes a lot more social energy. And so when you have a very social job and you are spending so many hours working, sometimes it's just really hard. And it's also not fair to them to get like the last bit of me socially because I'm getting paid for it otherwise, you know? And so I'm struggling with that and seeing how I can make it realistic in 2024. Because it is a very important thing to me to make more quality time for that this year or next year.

Yeah, that's, that's a hard lesson. Like, it's a hard thing to navigate when you are in a building season. And I hear you on like, I want to do it when it doesn't also feel so structured and scheduled. Yeah, it's like, okay, I've got 90 minutes, let's go. Like, so how are you? How are you really? It's like, you know, you're trying to Dive through these layers, like where you want to have this lighthearted relationship and then you also want to have depth. And that takes time and proximity and consistency and it's just hard. So I hear that.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. My last one on—

Oh, I was going to mention just one. I do have one more thing I wanted to add. My office. Oh yeah. You know what? I'm going to leave it at that. I haven't really touched my office since we moved, and I've been talking about doing something with it, and I haven't.

So we got to start a Pinterest board.

Oh, I've already done that, baby. I've already done that.

Well, you're making progress. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, uh, you next. Um, my last one on things I— that I wish would have been different is having more financial discipline in my personal life just to the level that I had committed or like said that I would this year. So it's not that I was irresponsible. I just really wanted to invest this year and I didn't quite get there. And I feel like I just kind of spent the investing money on other things. And so, um, yeah, so I am at the end of the year and I'm like, okay, 2024, that is absolutely a non-negotiable. That I want to budget in. Yeah. Um, okay, moving on to our last section, wrapping up on a higher note, which is things that we learned. Do you want to kick us off?

Yes. Number 1, nothing changes if nothing changes. This is something that's not like a new lesson, but I really feel like I learned that this year. I was scrolling through some journals from 6 months ago, and there was a list of things that I really wanted to do. And there were several on there that I hadn't touched. And it's like, okay, 6 months went by. Not judging myself. Okay? I'm not sitting here in this self-condemnation because it's not really helpful. I don't find shame to be a long-term motivator. But wow, 6 months have gone by and this thing is still the same, similar to my office. So I'm learning that nothing changes if nothing changes. That's a big lesson this year.

That is so important to keep in mind. It's like sometimes we will get so great at vision casting and all the goals and all the things. And sometimes that checks the box of the dopamine hit of, of like, I'm moving forward. And I am victim of that, or not victim, but I am guilty of that.

You know who motivates the hell out of me is Kylie Katich. Oh, yes. Her house. I don't know if I'm saying her last name correctly. But yeah, she's in like her DIY construction era. And she is killing it and like redoing these different rooms in her home. And it's so inspiring. And like, her style is very similar to mine. And I'm like, oh, like, so yeah, she's very motivating to me. I'm like, okay, she did this in 3 freaking days. Let's go. I can, I can do my office in a weekend.

I believe in you. I've actually, I saved her inspo from her bedroom today because I was like, I need to update things. She's so motivating.

I sent it to Matthew. He goes, it's so, so dark though. He doesn't like, like dark neutral.

He's like, it's romantic and moody.

I'm like, it's moody. It's a look.

Okay. Oh my gosh. Okay. Things that I learned.

Ooh. Okay. One is I feel more clear than ever on the kind of people I want to surround myself with and who I want to serve. So in terms of who I want to surround myself with, I've stopped feeling guilty for relationships, friendships that have ebbed and flowed through the years, and I've just let them lie where they lie. And I want to invest in people that invest in me, and we're investing in each other, and there's like equal energy back and forth. And I really struggled with that in my 20s of like, okay, these different seasons of friendships. And I just feel very clear on like the friendships that I am building, cultivating, and then like new friends that come in, like the qualities that they have and the different values and character that they have. And making sure that I'm someone that attracts quality people as well. It's not just who's in my life, it's also like, who am I attracting? And then on the client side, I feel like as a coach over the last 3 and a half years, which is crazy that it's been 3 and a half years now, but I started out as an emotional growth coach and then a life coach and then a confidence coach. And this year really stepping into being more of a business coach with a confidence focus. But being more confident in your business and in your career, I just feel so clear on that and I haven't gotten that level of clarity. And it's like that's being reflected in my clients and that's who's coming to me and that just feels so aligned. So that was a huge one. I really enjoyed this episode. I feel really proud of us. Just listening to all the growth that we've had, reflecting back on last year's episode and where we were. And where we are now. I just, it's really incredible to do life with you and then to also like actually talk through these things. So I highly recommend, as Astrid mentioned, journal through these questions. Things I'm proud of from this year, what do I wish would've been differently, and what did I learn? And I feel like just spending time on that reflection piece, don't shift into action yet. Like just really soak up Be curious and reflect on the year. And if anything pops up for you during that exercise, message us on Instagram. You can do that at @theinbetween.pod. And if you're enjoying the show, leave us a review. We would love for you to rate or review the show. It's always something that like we ask every episode and I just see like, you know, every episode we get like one more and I'm like, yes, someone listened. Thank you so much.