3 Ways to Know It's Time to Level Up

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. Join us as we explore the messy yet beautiful in-between seasons of life.

We'll discuss business, relationships, wellness, and everything in between to help you become the highest version of yourself.

Let's dive in. Hello and welcome to another episode of The In Between Podcast. It is one half of the pod, Alexis.

And the other half, Astrid. And I am so excited for today's episode because we are talking all about what are some signs that you need to level up.

Yes, I'm looking forward to this because I feel like we have both had different transformations, different seasons where we have literally said, I think I'm in the middle of a level-up season. Like, I feel like I am shifting and I am required to open up more capacity. And I'm like, Growing, and it can be uncomfortable. And so we thought we would put together an episode that kind of highlights some of the signs that we see when we're trying to grow and level up that might help you identify whether or not you are in a season of expansion as well. And these are just things to kind of keep an eye out because I think we can disguise them as like being unhappy, or we can disguise them as like being low energy when really It might be your life, your habits, your relationships, your feelings pointing you to maybe it's time to grow out of the season that you're in and grow into this next version of yourself. So before we dig into that, let's do a quick life updates and in-between, uh, life updates for you.

What's new? Oh my gosh. Um, well, it's been a hot minute since I feel like we chatted with our community. So on my end, I have been home and it has felt so so good. I have been back into, or like my busy season for photography started. And it's so fun because this year is more my busy season along with my team's. So it's been really wild. Like we're all kind of traveling to different cities this week and being able to work with so many different couples. And then the biggest update too is wrapping up a rebrand.

Mm-hmm.

So finished up that website last week, getting ready to relaunch. And speaking of knowing when you need to level up or when things need to change, that was something that just didn't feel so aligned with me anymore. And every time I looked at my website, my branding, it just felt so uncomfortable. And so I pulled the trigger before I left to Europe, started working on that, and we'll be wrapping that up this fall. And yeah, just went back to therapy. That's a big life update. It's been really, really transformational. Well, it's actually coaching, but it's been very transformational. And I'll share more on that later as well. And yeah, just enjoying being home, honestly, and redesigning my house. Oh my gosh, a lot has happened, but those are the main highlights.

What? Decorating your house?

Yeah, tell me. Yeah, I just went to IKEA. It all started because my mom wanted to go to IKEA. I bought a new light and I was like, oh, my house just doesn't fit me. It felt more like college-y Astrid than grown-up, almost 30 Astrid. So we spent a couple weekends back to back hanging up my art that I got in Europe last year and this year and moving furniture around and buying a few little pieces. So it feels So, so good. So those are the main highlights of my past few weeks. But what about you?

There's something too about entering into a new decade where you're like, you feel like you want to redesign some aspect of your life. And for you, you're like, I'm gonna redo my space. And I love that for you.

Yeah. Um, what's new?

So got back from a 3-week trip to Europe. I was there for work. I was in Ireland, in the UK, and it was So good. I feel so happy and I feel so aligned in what I get to do for my career. And I just, yeah, I feel like that trip was a culmination of that. And yeah, so excuse me, we're recording in the morning and my morning voice is just waking up. Anyways, but yeah, that was a really important trip, I think, for me because I haven't traveled a ton For work, like conferences and meetings. And I feel like I was tapping into something that I used to do a lot in my early 20s, and now I'm getting to do it again. Um, and it feels really, really fulfilling. I love just interacting with people in person. Working remote can be very isolating. And so I think it just gave me a lot of energy. Um, let's see. Matthew is home. He has been home the month of September. Um, he has one more hitch. Uh, so we're in a long distance. Mm-hmm. Marriage right now, and so he has one more hitch that he will be going to soon, and then he'll be done, which is really exciting. So this will be his last hitch. We booked our five-year wedding anniversary, like trip. We're really excited. I feel like that's gonna give us something exciting to look forward to because it's the weekend after he gets back from his last hitch in West Africa. So celebrating a lot of things, and then. I'm a Pilates girly now. I'm like, I am a Pilates girly. I feel like I used to lift 5 days a week strength training, and I am loving like mixing in Pilates with strength training. So I'm strength training about 2 to 3 times a week, and I'm doing Pilates 1 to 2 times a week. And it's just like lower impact, but it's so isolating to your muscle groups, and I am freaking Loving it. So that's my life updates.

Oh my gosh, so many fun life updates on your end. And going again to Europe, I adore that trip.

I feel like—

I don't know if you have a highlight on your Instagram on it, but if anyone's going to Ireland, just go and pop on over there and get Alexis's recommendations because, you know, they're always just so good. Your travel recs are literally the best. Thank you.

I, I did like a roundup on my feed of like The perfect day in Dublin. So if you're going to Dublin, go check it out. Um, I am like not a travel blogger anymore, but it was one of those things where I was like, I just want to share where I think people would enjoy. And so yeah, I'm a side hustler travel blogger again.

I love that so much. You're so amazing at doing that. Thank you. Um, all right, well, moving on to our in-betweens.

Yes.

So if you are new to the podcast, every single episode we always share what season we find ourselves in between. Do you want to go ahead and go first, or do you want me to go first?

Yeah, I would love to go first. So I am in between a very, very busy season of work and life. Work, I have so many different events coming up and things going on, and I'm in between Navigating it with a lot of like grace, but also discipline. And I'm recognizing that when I have more margin and I'm not as busy, I can keep up with people. I can you know talk to my family a lot. I can be with friends. I can like really try to I would say prioritize all the different categories of my life and integrate them into each other. And I'm just realizing that. This month, and honestly the whole month of October, I will. I have just been very focused on like these are the things I need to have my attention on, and everything else, while it's still important, I can't hold myself to those expectations that I can operate at that level and stay on top of all my text messages and answer every phone call. And I think that I tend to feel guilty about that because I am a relationships person. But I also feel like my boundaries have been reinforced of like, I need to focus on work, I need to focus on my relationship with my husband, I need to focus on my health. And those are the things. And there are other things that are important, of course, but I also have to give myself room to recognize I'm just in a busy season. It doesn't mean that this is how it's always going to be. But I sometimes internalize that of like, am I doing something wrong? Or, And, you and I have talked a lot about this of like when you're in a busy season and you need to kind of heads down, you need to get heads down, it's hard to like not hurt the people in your lives.

Yeah.

So, I'm just working through like communicating that better. Like, hey, I'm in a really busy season right now. You are still important. Also, communication with me might look a little differently because I need to focus my attention on these things. And, yeah. So, that's just been interesting to navigate. And I am giving myself grace as I work through that, but also being proud of myself at the same time because I am doing some of my best quality work. And that does require sometimes some separation from distraction.

Yeah.

And not that family and friends are distracting, but energetically, I need to focus my energy here. And then when I can, I obviously want to be there for the people in my life, obviously, because that's what life is about. But it's like this, you can hear me, you can hear me go back. I feel like the tension of the back and forth. So that's where I'm at right now. I am in between that.

Girl, that resonates so deeply. And I'm so proud of you because a lot of times too, these responsibilities or these things that are important to our life, we can hold. And during a slower season, it's like, okay, we're ebbing and flowing and we're living intentionally. But I feel like when you are in a busy season, it adds so much more stress to your already stressful schedule.

Yeah.

And so it's like doubling down on exactly the thing that you don't need because of the pressure to follow that all the way through. So that is amazing to hear how not only you're putting those boundaries up, but also communicating it. Because sometimes we're like, okay, we recognize what we need to do. And we're so busy, we just move on. We're like, okay, I'm just not going to pay attention to this, or I'll respond when I can. But I love hearing that you're intentionally reaching out to people and be like, hey, well, I'm trying. Busy season. Okay, let's—

I'm doing this imperfectly.

So, well, you're in between it right now.

That's between it.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. So, but you're recognizing that that's like the next step is to communicate that and I think we need to give ourselves permission more of what it means to ebb and flow in our lives and release that pressure that I heard this on a podcast this week. It's called Restoring Eve. She's like, as women, we put so much pressure on ourselves. We, with like our careers and our lives and our relationships and the food and all this stuff. She's like, what does it look like to ebb and flow from one season to the other? So I love that for you. I'm so proud of you. And this is why you're amazing at what you do too. It's like the level of intentionality that your work requires is what is demanding that of you right now.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for that. I appreciate you. And I've watched you navigate different seasons of this as well. And it makes me have so much more compassion too when you've been in it because I'm like, oh my gosh, I feel you, girl. So what about you? What are you in between?

Yeah, I'm in between a lot. I'm trying to pick between two. Yeah. Okay. So I'll go kind of within the same vein of where you're at. So I've been really working through— or let me back up. One of the things that I've identified in my coaching with my coach was that For a very long time, I've been in hypervigilance mode. And so I am learning to identify what is the difference between being in my masculine at times, which is, which is very useful, and versus like hypervigilance mode, which is more fear-based, more trauma-based, more, oh my gosh, I'm gonna run out of money, let me book all these things, compared to being in my masculine, which is— Mm-hmm. How can I level up the business to the next thing? And so I am in that very interesting season of hypervigilance versus masculine versus being in my feminine and learning how to ebb and flow through all of those. And so now that I'm jumping into busy season, I just experienced a really, really crazy week of work, like 13 minimum hours every single day back to back. except Sunday with no rest, like pretty much. And so for the first time, one of the first few times, I don't feel mentally exhausted.

Hmm.

And along with the lines of what you were sharing is I released the pressure. I released the pressure that I need to get back to everyone exactly within 24 hours, all my emails, all my things. I texted my clients, the ones that were waiting on stuff, and I was like, hey, I'm so sorry. I'm running just a couple days behind on this. Is it okay if I get this to you on Monday? They're like, yeah, no worries. Have so much fun. And I realized while I don't love to use that lifeline, the lifeline is there for a reason.

Mm-hmm.

And so I've just been learning what are all the ways that I can be more in my feminine when I'm out of work to release the pressure so that when I need to be in my masculine at work, I can perform at my best.

Yeah.

And it's felt amazing. It's made me more resilient. I feel physically tired, but mentally really, really healthy and good. And it's helped me have more stamina along the way. So exactly what I've been looking for, it's been giving me. So it's very new to me, very, very new, very new concepts. And I'm still learning how to navigate all of it. But it's a very cool in-between where now when I'm stopping, I'm like, okay, am I going to take on this extra thing because it's my fear of, or I want to take this on because it's really going to move the business forward?

Yeah.

And cool, I just worked 8 hours straight. What am I going to do to support myself and relax and be in my feminine? I'm going to go for a walk. I'm not going to look at my phone. even if it's just 5 minutes. So with that, just something that I want to share too. There's this podcast called Restoring Eve. Phenomenal. Literally binged it this whole week. So freaking good. And it's all about top-performing women and how a lot of times the stress of life and being too much in our masculine can show up in our health and our skin and our bodies. And I've navigated a lot of allergies and things like that. And I've just learned her. It's not that you need to stop doing what you're doing, like go kill it at what you do, but here's all these other little steps you can include in your routine that can help support you being a woman and you going back into your feminine. So that is what I'm currently in between.

I love this. I love this so much. I can even like, you know, I have been sending a lot of voice notes and just like catching up and everything, and it— there is a different tone to your voice even when you're talking about your work.

Mm-hmm.

Like, it's like coming from this place of energy and excitement, but also recognizing like your health and your sleep and your relationships, like just the integration of both aspects of yourself. And I'm like blown away at how much this coach has already like been making impacts in your life. And I'm so proud of you for recognizing that you wanted to invest in yourself. And that something was like you were getting yourself to a certain point, and you needed someone to support you to that next level of yourself. And I'm really proud of you, like for really digging in and then implementing it, because I think it's one thing to like have a coach, and you're like, okay, yeah, I need to work on that. Then you like don't actually implement any of it. And so you are you are doing it, and you're doing the work. I'm really proud of you.

Oh, thank you so much. And I feel like that's kind of the. the perfect segue into our topic today where, you know, what are some of those signs that you're needing to level up? What are— what is those feelings? How does it feel in your body? And sometimes our audience too is very much filled with top-performing women.

Mm-hmm.

And sometimes we're in our head too much. But being able to pause and say, how does your body feel? Like, are you feeling tense? Are you feeling something like it's just not in alignment? Like, Things that you're doing, maybe all the right things, quote unquote, but what does your body and your mind tell you? And that's such a beautiful intuitive thing that us as women have is like, actually, this doesn't align anymore. Something's just not clicking and I don't know what it is. Let me start knocking at different little areas of my life to see what does that resonate.

I love that analogy of knocking on different doors. And different facets of life and seeing like what, what answers. Yeah, I'm looking forward to this conversation around, you know, 3 different areas or kind of, um, questions to ask yourself if you are feeling like maybe you're outgrowing where you are and you're ready for that next level. So the first one is you're feeling restless or unfulfilled. I feel like this is something that we've both experienced a ton in different areas of life, but it's kind of that like nagging feeling. It might be subconscious, it might be conscious, but you just feel this like tug, probably in your body, or like when you're doing a certain activity, you might feel some pressure in your chest, you might feel annoyance, or like a little bit of like agitation towards something. And it's probably your intuition tugging you towards something bigger, something different.

Mm-hmm.

And a lot of times this is rooted in you're craving maybe a bit more meaning, maybe you're craving something challenging. Like, You know, you've been doing something and operating at a certain level and you're ready for a challenge, or you're looking for just more excitement in your life in general. And so this is a big one, and we'll each share like our own experience with this and then a tip. So do you want to go first?

Yes, yes. Oh my gosh, I could share so many on this.

And I was like trying to narrow this down.

I know. Um, I feel like for me, the first one would be right before the springtime. Like springtime, I was feeling very down, very like, I am not successful. All these thoughts of like, I'm not successful enough. Am I in the right career? Should I shift careers? Um, I'm not talented enough. I'm tired. And it was all of these feelings where I was like, I love what I do, but something's just not quite clicking.

Mm-hmm.

And so having that pop up significantly for me, just signals, let me knock on those doors to see what resonates, right? Because sometimes I think we can feel the discomfort, but we don't do anything about it because we're scared we might do the wrong thing. And the right thing that you're supposed to do is like, let me knock here. Okay, that's not the door. Let's close it back. Let's go over here. Okay, let's open this door of my habits. Okay, no, my habits are in check. Cool. Let's close that door. Okay. What are my relationships like?

Nope.

Nothing there.

Okay.

Let's close that back. What does my career feel like? And once you're like in the realm, you're like, okay, now I have identified what it is, the area that I need to like dive a little bit deeper in. So let me picture and take a step back of maybe if it's, say, if it's career, like it was for me.

Okay.

What does it look like to go back to corporate? Like, Picturing myself full on not doing my business anymore. Does that feel right? And it didn't. And I feel like that it's also a connection with your body and connection with your soul of like, how does that feel? How does that resonate? And then moving on to the next thing. Okay, like is it that I need to be doing my business differently? So that is I guess my biggest tip is like walk yourself through different scenarios. When it comes to that nagging feeling until you can narrow down an area. And then in that area, what are all the possible options of action and how do each of those feel in your body? And maybe some of them feel neutral, maybe some of them, multiple feel right. Like, I'm not saying you're going to get the one right off the bat, but the point is to narrow it down.

Mm-hmm.

And then you can take some action and be like, Actually, this feels great.

Yeah.

So in my example, one thing that I knew for sure is I don't—I didn't feel like my business was at 100% of its operations capacity, and one of it was branding. I was like, that is not aligned. And I do—I did feel like I was losing customers because while I grew my business into a more higher-end clientele, and that's great, when the higher-end clientele is comparing my website to other higher-end photographers, my website did not match up at all. And so some of my frustration perhaps was a branding thing. So I was like, let's knock on this door. Let's invest. Let's go all in. Let's see how it goes. And if it goes well, then I solved it. If not, we move on to the next option.

Yeah.

So we dove into that and it was very much feeling in alignment. I could already it. I, when we launched the logo, like things already started to flow so much better. And it forced me to take a step back and be like, what do I want my brand to be? What do I want my business to be?

Mm-hmm.

And so that was something that was really helpful. And then at the same time, then taking the break of the summer in Europe to more intentionally think through what do I want for my business? What is the next step? And keep putting myself through those scenarios. And that's the important part here too, is patience. Like, it's not going to click all right away. Sometimes it's a week, it's a month, sometimes it's years till you're able to fully get there. But you will get there by taking each of those steps there. So, um, that's the example that comes to mind, and that would be like my tip in that scenario. But what about yours?

Love that. You're so smart.

Oh.

And also it's interesting, like I remember those early conversations of like feeling that restlessness and trying to figure out, is it my job path? Or no, it's actually the segment of my business that needs some new, fresh reinvention. And if you hadn't have listened and you just stayed in it. So I think that's my biggest piece of advice is If you are feeling restless and you're feeling unfulfilled, back to Astrid's point, do some exploration. And then I want to focus on like once you've explored and you have identified what it is, you need to do something about it. And so for me, an experience of feeling restless, I was in a tech job that I really loved. I was working for a company called ConvertKit. I had been there for around 4 years and I was really just feeling this sense of I want some, I want something new. I want a challenge. And really that's what it was. I wanted to uplevel my skills and I wanted a challenge. And I had gotten to a point in my career at that company where I was kind of just like, we were still growing. We were still making really great revenue from the channel that I owned, but I was kind of like at my ceiling, I felt. And I went to leadership and asked for a different position. And asked like, okay, could I grow into this? Could I uplevel my skills in this way where I'm still managing some of this, but I'm able to explore some of this? And ultimately the answer was no, which was fine. And so then I had to make a plan. And so I made a 3-month plan and then I left my job and started my own coaching and consulting company. And so I think that from that though, I needed to understand like what is it that I really needed? And what is it that I really desired? Because needs and desires are very different. Needs is like, I need X amount of dollars to, you know, pay my mortgage or pay for my livelihood. Desire is like the— a little bit more of the warm and fuzzies. Like, hey, when I look at my lifestyle, this is what I desire from this change. And so when I was making that plan of starting my own business, I had to get down to like, this is how— this is what I need in order to Like not be having a W-2 anymore, and from a 1099, I need to be making X amount of money, setting aside X amount for taxes. Okay, just like having the clarity of mind of like this is what I need, so I need to go find clients to get to this certain point revenue-wise. And then from desire, I knew I wanted more control. I wanted the ability to not have any ceiling or limitations on my capacity or my potential. And so when I was zeroed in on what my core needs were, what my core desires were. from that shift that helped me get the clarity of like, okay, yeah, where I'm at is not serving me anymore and I have to make a change. And so I would say once you have zeroed in on what it is that you would like to change or shift in your life as you are kind of outgrowing where you are, can you make a 60 or 90-day plan and just make a change? I just don't think that it's healthy for us to stay in environments or situations or routines or habit loops that don't serve us anymore. And so, I'm not saying you need to change overnight, but I am inviting you to like, can you make a 2 or 3 month plan and actually move on to this next level of yourself so that you don't stay in this sense of restlessness? Because I have stayed there too long. And that also, I think, ends up creating a lot of self-resentment. And it really can like bring you to a very dark place, like mentally.

Yeah.

So I don't want to project that. That's just my experience. But it's like when I'm not honoring the restlessness and the, like the feelings of being unfulfilled and I just stay in it, it like, it just stunts my growth. And so if there's a way that you can make a plan to make incremental changes and have to be like, you're going to quit your job next week, but there are small things that you can do to lead up to a bigger change. I think now is the time. Yeah.

Oh, I love that so much. I love the idea of creating a plan because a lot of times when the restlessness comes up, maybe past us has been feeling that for a while, but it's almost like it gets from the whisper all the way to the screaming at us. And we wait until it's screaming at us to be like, oh yeah, I should make a change. My intuition is speaking to me.

Yeah.

But sometimes might be a little too late. Like maybe you haven't saved enough money to be able to make a move or to make a career jump or whatever that might look like. So thinking through maybe what are those whispers right now that you have? And like Alexis said, what's a 2-month plan or a 3-month plan that you can lean into and create? And then future you 3 months from now can have the resources to make that decision if that decision is right for you. And if it's not, you can just sit on it. You grew. You expanded and that's that. Yeah. So great, great point.

Thank you. Moving on to point 2, sign number 2, you might be outgrowing where you are is you're constantly seeking new knowledge. I think this is like an interesting one because you and I are both podcast gals. Obviously we love to read. We love like new hobbies. We're trying to learn a lot and improve different aspects of our life because we're always looking to expand. And I can tie back at times in my life where I have done more of that because like there are times where I'm like really in like self-discovery mode and I'm looking for a lot of information to support maybe this next level of growth or transformation I'm trying to achieve. Yeah. And then other seasons where I'm like, ah, I haven't listened to podcasts as much. I haven't been reading, you know, self-improvement as much because I'm just operating in myself, if that makes sense. I'm not looking for outside input or influence. So I think when you're seeking out a lot of information, it can be a sign that you are ready to make a change based on what you're learning. So what have been your experiences with this?

Yeah. Oh my gosh. So with this one, what I can think back through is the season of life where I wanted to quit my full-time job. And I feel like during that time, I needed so much support because I was so scared to make that decision on my own. And not just scared to make the decision, but I wanted a thought leader approval or like, hey, yes, you're on the right path. kind of thing. And I just didn't want to be impulsive about it. And I think sometimes when we are seeking this knowledge in podcasts or self-help books and everything, it's one to understand and like, if I make this decision, how can I best make this decision? But it's also to get that like cushion of approval that, yes, I am in the right path. And so during that season, I was binge listening to podcasts on quitting your job, on how to set your, like, what are the financial ratios that I should have? How much should I have in savings if I'm going to go full-time in my job? All of those things, as well as I had invested in a coach at that point in time that was helping me navigate the emotional part. And sometimes this area too is like reaching out to the people in your life and being like, hey, This is a decision that I'm facing right now. What's your thought process on this? And I remember calling my brother and being like, hey, this is what I'm thinking. I don't know if it's the right decision, but here's my numbers of my business. What do you think? And he's just so point blank. He's like, you're telling me you have a year worth of savings And your income is because you book so far out in advance, you have at least that to cover like coming in in the next year. And you don't know if it's the right decision. And he's like, from a financial standpoint, you're good. I was like, am I going to go broke? And he's like, trust me. He's like, you're more than fine. And he's like, worst comes to worst, people get business loans all the time. You qualify, you would qualify for that. And so I think this is an area where when you're seeking that knowledge, it's so important to learn from people, to lean into what they have to say, and then just take some action. Because I can be so notorious for listening to so many things, be like, okay, yeah, when I'm ready. And it's like, no, you're ready now. Like, let's implement, let's go, let's make that decision. And so that would be one for me where just noticing when you're craving that information. And even most recently, sometimes you don't know what it is that you're looking for. Sometimes you don't know what the area is, but you feel yourself attracted to a certain topic.

Yeah.

For me right now, it's femininity and masculine, all that stuff. And being able to just lean into it. If your body and your brain are craving a specific topic, just lean into it. And as you listen to these things or you're reading that, you are able to then— whatever resonates, that's for you. And just listen to that. Like, it doesn't have to be so complicated. Like, just if it resonates, it's likely for you. So that would be for me. What about for you?

I love that. I love your brother being like, you are good. I know, like, when you tell that story, it always, like, makes me smile too, because it's important to let people into those decisions so that they can, like, repeat back to you exactly what you just said. And then you're like, oh, okay, I am okay then.

Yeah.

Oh yeah. For me, a season of life where I was really digging into a lot of information and in a time where I knew that I was ready to shed some layers and step into the next season of my growth was in 2021. It was summer and I was really feeling restless and I was feeling unfulfilled. And so I recognized like my habits, my routines, just my mindset. I had gotten to a place where I was really unhappy and I didn't know if I would ever At that time, I felt like I would never really find myself again. And I listened to a book called Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. And if you're a longtime listener of the podcast, you know this. That book genuinely changed my life. And there was something about hearing David Goggins' story about his transformation, his mindset transformation, his body transformation. He was able to say a lot of things To me, that no one in my life could say. And I do think that that's sometimes like when you're seeking books and you're seeking podcasts and you're seeking information. For you, you were like looking for some validation or some affirmation. You know, you were looking for someone to say, okay, this is the right path. For me, I think I was looking for someone to say like, wake up, it's time. Like, no one is coming to save you. No one is coming to make your life any better. But you, like the only reason, the only way that you can move forward is if you decide to move forward. And I don't think I could have heard that from anyone in my personal life. I think it would have been way too like emotionally wounding. And I think that when you're seeking information about maybe more sensitive topics that you're working through, books and podcasts are a great way to give you that like, okay, you know what? David Goggins is right. I do need to wake up and I need to change my life. So I think Similar to what you said too, Astrid, absorbing the information and then applying what resonates with you is an important part of, I think, self-discovery and taking in a lot of information.

Yeah.

And it's also important to be mindful of how much influence some of that does have on us. So it's an interesting relationship between seeking out a lot of information and wanting to learn and wanting to kind of be challenged by a thought process or a way of life. That you might be curious about. And then also when you're implementing it, there kind of needs to be a time where you are turning off some of that noise so that you can know your own voice, you can trust yourself and trust your own decisions. Because there is like, I can scroll on TikTok and I can get 65,000 different pieces of advice on if I should be on birth control or not, if I should, you know, what I should do, who I should vote for. Like it is just like constantly, in our ear on what people are telling us to do. And I think that that is a delicate balance. It's important. And also, like, we have to make space to recognize I've gotten what I need and now it's time for me to implement and start trusting that I can do it on my own or I trust my own decisions.

Yeah. Oh, I love that so much. I feel like our intuition is our biggest navigator of when you are ready for that level up and at the same time, how to do that level up. Like really, really listening to it. And I love that you brought that on of like when to shut off that knowledge and noise. And something else I was going to make a little note here too is sometimes I think we look for this knowledge because we haven't really seen a lifestyle represented in our life. And we know we're craving more, but we don't know how to get there.

Yeah.

Whether that's breaking generational curses and traumas, whether it's you never really learned how to deal with your emotions. And so you're seeking content on this because it was never modeled to us how to navigate a really hard situation, how to leave a legacy, how to be financially free. Like, maybe that wasn't a part of your story. and your family's story. And I feel like that has been, for me as an immigrant, like, I feel like I am doing a lot of things that my parents haven't done, just like they did many things their parents didn't do. And sometimes that seeking of knowledge is because it was just never accessible to me. That knowledge was never there. And so I want to validate that for anyone that's deep diving into any information or My brother that I just mentioned, he became a real estate agent and he's killing it in like investments and all of that. And within a year, he consumed so much content. You can't— like, he would literally wake up at 4 AM and go to bed at like midnight and just study and read and consume as much as he possibly could. Because no one in our lives really did anything like that. They didn't really invest. They didn't really do any of the, that realm. So if you're in that season where you're like, I want to pivot my career, I want to deep dive, I want to be better at X, Y, and Z, go for it, consume it. And then like Alexis said, know when to put a halt to it and be like, okay, it's time to do.

Yeah, thank you for mentioning that. I think that's beautiful. The last point of, you know, a sign that you might be Ready for your next level is you are outgrowing old habits and relationships. So maybe you've noticed habits or friendships or relationships that are feeling misaligned with who you're becoming, and that can be a really big indicator that you're stepping into a new season, you're stepping into a new, you know, version of yourself. And I think it's— I, I've struggled with this about like not leaving people behind or like cutting people out. But just recognizing you want to make space for friendships that do align with you and habits that do align with who you're becoming and your value system. So do you want to go first on this one?

Sure. Yeah. I think when it comes to old habits or relationships specifically, I don't know if I've shared this on the podcast before or not, but I didn't really have super deep, solid friendships until the later half of my 20s. I had great friendships, but not as deep as they are right now and not as life-giving as they are right now. And so having that struggle in my early 20s and recognizing it, I think I sat in it for too long and I didn't really know what it was. I knew I craved more of those friendships, but I didn't know where to find them. I didn't know what to do about it. And then whenever in— when I was 25 and I went through my divorce, it was a big before and after in my life. And I kind of got to just re-decide who do I want to be? Who do I want to become? And as I went to therapy for the first time, I got to know who I am. And I think with this layer of growing is the more that you learn about yourself and who you want to become, the more that who you're surrounded by and those habits become maybe a question mark of, does this align for the next season or does it not? And that's where I found myself when I was 25, is who do I want to be surrounded by and the importance of being surrounded by those people and where do I find them? And who do I want to become? And so it was a big layer of, I want to be with people who are emotionally aligned, who I can be vulnerable with, who know what boundaries are, who know we don't gossip, who know we want to grow together. We are here to level each other up. We're here to support each other, safe spaces. And it's not just about let's have fun together, which I think a lot of times in your early 20s, that can be it. And it's just easy to lean into those things.

Yeah.

So, um, yeah, so I feel like being able to listen to your intuition again on what isn't clicking anymore as you are growing— and it doesn't mean that you have to completely isolate or let go of people that you love. It's just more about who do you want in your most inner circle? Who do you want supporting you? When you are down, down, down bad, who are you calling and that you know they're going to speak life into you and that they're not just going to handle that poorly or tell other people about what it is that you're going through?

Yeah.

And so that was what was intentional for me. And almost like looking for a life partner, you can also do this with your friendships. Write down in a journal What kind of friend do I want? What characteristics do they have? And be on the lookout for them and ask people for coffee. And again, like that knocking on door symbolism, knock on different doors until something clicks and you're like, okay, this person gets me and I feel like I can go deeper with them. So I am so grateful that I did that. And it wasn't easy. It didn't just happened out of the blue, but it was intentional. And I think if you want a certain kind of friend, you have to be that kind of friend first, because that kind of person is only going to resonate with someone that is that first. So work on yourself and then be able to reach out to those types of friendships or relationships that you're wanting in your life.

Yeah, I love that. And I'm so grateful for you and our friendship because I think I resonate with so much of what you said and like the going deeper with friendships. We also have a lot of other episodes on friendship. We have so many episodes on like going deeper with friends, how to find friends. So if you're in that place and you want more, please just scroll back and like go through some old episodes where we talk through that. I love what you said so much. I think for me, when I was really sitting with this one, A relationship that I have worked on outgrowing is the relationship with my past self. And I, yes, like there have been habits I've outgrown, like overspending. We all know where I was financially. Okay. If you look— Longtime listener of the podcast. You know that I had an overspending problem. Like we've worked on a lot of those habits, relationship with alcohol, relationship with consumption. Like I've worked on a lot of those habits, but when I really stepped back, for me, it was the relationship that I had with myself and what I believed about myself to be true. And, I had to let go of a lot of really hurtful beliefs that I had about myself. And, for me, there was a couple of years there where I would just look back to my early 20s self and just be so jealous of her. And I would be like, I just feel like all my best days are behind me. And I believe this for like 2 years that anytime I would think about like my Nashville season and here I am like, you know, not, not in that place in like 2020, 2021, I would just feel this like tension towards— I knew that I could be, you know, my full self and I could express myself and I could And, I had to work on the belief systems and the narratives of allowing myself to recognize that my best days are not behind me and that I have so much life ahead of me. And, yes, that was a great season, but I was romanticizing it because I was in a dark place.

Mm-hmm.

And so, I had to recognize I can romanticize my everyday life and I can have fun with the things that I'm doing. Have this beautiful relationship with myself where I trust myself and I, I believe in my ability to make things happen. And but like you know when you're in a place where you have struggled with your relationship with yourself, but you are feeling restless and you do want more and you are trying to change that. I know we've talked about this as like I feel like this is a common thread of this episode is like when you. Love on yourself and give yourself compassion and give yourself grace, you approach problems with a much more softer lens versus like, how could you do that? What, you know, you can't do that. You couldn't do that. You shouldn't do that. It's like, wow, okay, let's like take a couple steps back or like 1,000 steps back. And can we just be kinder to the way that we speak to ourselves? Can we, you know, go through problems and mistakes With like, okay, I'm learning. All right. All right. And onto the next lesson instead of like harboring so much frustration and tension within ourselves and that pressure that we feel. So that's been a big one for me that I have had to revisit a few times in the last couple of years and just like check in on, okay, what is my relationship with myself and how am I upholding the values that I have in my relationships with other people? Yeah, the one that I have with myself.

Oh my gosh, I love that so much. I feel like that is the most powerful and such a great way to wrap up the episode as well, because no habit and everything else flows from who we are and who the stories that we tell ourselves. So as we lean into change and habits and career and all of that, what is your relationship with self? Because if it's not healthy, you're going to choose things out of that unhealthy side of us. So What a beautiful way to wrap up the episode. I hope that you all enjoyed this podcast, that it's motivated you to lean into that inner voice, to really listen to your intuition on what changes are coming up for you or what resonates for this almost coming year. Like we're wrapping up 2024 already. So if you enjoyed this podcast episode, please make sure to rate it on your podcast listener or your Spotify or your whatever you call that.

Podcast player.

Or share with a friend too.

Share, there we go. Like if you have a friend that's kind of going through it right now and they're— that you've— like they're trying to level up where they're outgrowing a season or they're just kind of going through a season of growth, maybe this would help them as well. Um, and yeah, if, if you ever want to leave us a message, you can do that, um, on Instagram @theinbetween.pod. And then we also are doing more Ask ANA advice column episodes coming up. So if you want to drop us any question, you can write it out or you can leave us a voice message. Um, we would love to hear your voice and ask for any sort of advice that's going on in your life, your career, your relationships, and we'll answer it live on the podcast. You can do that in the link in bio on Instagram. If you want to connect with me personally, you can do that @AlexisTeichmiller.

And you can connect with me @astrojohannaphoto. We love you guys and we'll catch you next time.