4 Routines to Help You Be More Intentional With Your Time

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The InBetween Podcast. This is one of your co-hosts, Astrid.

And the other half, Alexis.

And it is springtime. Easter just happened. There is— I can't believe we're in Easter time already.

I know, it's like the spring in Houston is amazing. And it's like actually, it actually feels like spring. There was a week or two ago that was just so humid. And I was like, oh, I'm being reminded of summer here. Get out.

You're like, I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready for the humidity.

But yeah, and I, um, I love springtime. I feel like there's something very refreshing about it, and I like being able to wear like transitional clothing without it being like a sweater and a jacket or like a sundress. I love like transitional clothing time. It's just my favorite.

It is amazing. But honestly, your girl loves like I'm like, put me in the heat. Like, I want to be on a beach, 80-degree weather.

I have definitely gotten more like, put me on a beach, um, in the last couple of years. But yeah, I think it just depends on, you know, where you come from as well. Speaking of, I went home this past weekend. My mom turned 60, and, um, I surprised her, and Astrid played an integral part in getting me there. She picked me up from the airport, and we got some like friendship time, which was so lovely. And then She dropped me off at my parents' house and I rang the doorbell and my mom came to the front door and she just saw Astrid crouching on the ground. If you saw my story, it was so cute. She just saw her crouching on the ground. She opens the front door, she's like, what are we doing? And then she saw me and she started crying and it was awesome. And then I just boom, boom, boom, surprised everyone in my family. And I love that stuff. I love Like the reaction. And I love like making people happy. So with my presence, the gift is me.

I am the gift for Easter, for your birthday.

So I love that so much. So it was such a good weekend. I got to see family, spend like lots of quality time with my niece and nephew and my grandma and my mom and dad. And it was so good. I, I do feel very much like when I go home, I feel like my habits kind of take a hit. Where I'm like not really eating like I normally do or sleeping like I normally do. I am such a night owl, and like when Matthew's not around, I will self-sabotage my sleep schedule. For the last four nights, no joke, I was up past midnight.

I got TikToks late in the night, so I know.

You're like, Alexis, when you TikToks at one a.m.?

That was like, and it's like a club in Paris TikTok.

Yeah, look at this. Um, yeah, I. I am feeling it though. Like last night I actually went to bed at 10:30, which is still a little later than what I normally do. But I told Matthew, I was like, I need you to keep me in line. Like my— I, I will self-sabotage by staying up late and watching TV or on my phone. So I am glad to be back in my home routine. So that feels really nice.

That's amazing. What a weekend. I absolutely loved being a small part of that and picking you up and the undercover situation. I felt like whenever you play hide and seek, And then you're hiding in all the nerves as we were pulling up to your parents' house. That's what I felt.

I felt like, oh, toilet papered anybody?

Uh, yeah, once.

Okay, so if you're not from the Midwest, this is such a weird subculture thing, but it's very common.

Pre-2020.

Yeah, pre-2020 for sure. Very common to like, you know, junior high and high school to toilet paper people, especially people that you had crushes on. And whenever you pulled up to my parents' house and we got out of the car really quick, we're hovering close to the ground, it made me think of toilet paper season, which is always the fall. And you'd go and you'd throw toilet paper in people's trees and bushes and things like that. It definitely gave me toilet paper vibes.

So sweet. No, I loved being a part of it. Shout out to Lisa if she's listening for her 60th birthday.

Happy birthday.

Yeah, for me, I had a big UGC content week last week. So I, yeah, I took on a contract with the tourism board locally and we were able to record for like the restaurant week. So it was so fun, so busy. And yeah, I think that's definitely something I want to lean more into. I felt like my creativity really flowed. I really loved working with different businesses and I love like switching often on, like, based on their branding, based on their content. So that was really fun. And then Friday I had a wedding, so it was a very long day, beautiful day, so chill. Um, I do have a story. Story time from this wedding.

About the wedding?

From the wedding, yes. Exclusive content. Okay, so your girl was performing surgery on the bride's earring for like an hour.

What?

So her earrings, I was taking the detail shots and then I was putting like the earrings away. But then the earring itself, there's like a tiny little sliver that was open and like it didn't break. It's just it slid off. So it was like pearls that hung and then the connector. And so that little hoop just like fell off and it was literally just like as I was placing it and they were just, you know, like from Amazon. And so whenever I tried to fix it on my own, Because I was like, the bride needs her earrings. So I went to the bridesmaids and I was like, any of you guys have tweezers? And so thankfully I was super ahead of schedule and like the timeline was very giving for this kind of situation. And so I literally was like on the floor opening these hoops and trying to get the other hoop in there to try to get this earring fixed. And finally the bride comes up because she's like, oh, should we, uh, like do the champagne toast? Like And there was still like 20 minutes left for it. And she saw me on the floor with her earring. And I told her and she was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. She's like, these are literally like so cheap from Amazon. I should have known. I was like, they're not broken. It's just like it like slid off of there and it's too tiny to like get it back in there.

Oh my gosh.

And I was like, I'm just wanting to make sure you have earrings for today. She's like, don't worry about it. Like, I'll have somebody else work on it. Like, let's just go shoot. So we shot, it was like the best time ever. And then afterwards, like all the bridesmaids are gathered like around this table, all of us performing surgery on these earrings. And then we got it and it was like everyone just like clapping and like cheering. It was such like a girls moment.

It was like this community moment over these earrings. That's hilarious. It was amazing. Did you feel like a low level of anxiety though? Were you like, I'm going to have to go get some earrings somewhere?

100%. I was about to text Summer and be like, please go to Walmart. And I was— all that was going through my mind is like these TikTok girlies that say all their Walmart finds better come through. Like, I hope there's something there. And at the same time, it's like I was just worried then about the other earring. I was like, is something gonna fall off from that one like throughout the day? Because they were like so fragile.

Oh my gosh.

So long story short, it all worked out. But this is true life as a photographer BTS that you don't see on Instagram. It's like the things that we do for our couples. And the things that we fix behind the scenes. And yeah, we just want to make sure you have the best day ever. So if it's performing surgery on your earring, we will do that.

Yeah.

You are multifaceted.

Yes. Jewelry designer extraordinaire. Yeah.

What are you currently in between?

I was just thinking about which direction I wanted to take this. I— 2 really quick in-betweens. I'm in between getting out of a funk.

So that's cool.

I've been in a funk for the last like 2 weeks. If you listened to my episode last week, I just sound like I am spiraling a little bit. And that's okay because I was and now I'm good. So this is your sign that if you're in a funk or you're spiraling right now, that there is something on the other side. And that I think it's just a reminder that those ebbs and flows of life are just so normal. And I will always find myself on the other side of a low season. And I feel like I'm on the up and up, working on my mindset, working on my gratitude, my positivity, and focusing on what I can control. And just literally just going back and revisiting every single one of those lists has helped me not stay in the funk. So that's one thing. And then the other thing I'm in between right now is actually after a conversation that you and I had last week around what I want for my entrepreneurial journey and feeling very burnt out, honestly, and just trying to figure out how do I kind of rise from the ashes of that and just creating because I enjoy creating and lowering the pressure, lowering the stakes. I do have a full-time job that I really enjoy a lot and see a lot of potential there. And so why do I also have like such high expectations and pressure on my side hustle to be making X or to be doing all these different things? So I am kind of reevaluating what that looks like, trying to look for ways I can have more fun and share content that is exciting to me instead of feeling like I have to be so strategic with everything. So those are like 2 things I'm in between right now.

I love that.

And I feel like they're actually connected. Getting out of a funk and this whole spiraling about my vision for my personal business and personal brand, those are definitely very connected for me. So I'm trying to work my way out of that.

I love the transparency that you always bring to the pod because I think a lot of times people will look at everything that goes on online and they're like, she has it all together. And here, that's what I want to be like.

And it's like, That's amazing.

And this is a very real behind the scenes is like we have ebbs and flows and how we feel about things. And a lot of times if it is connected, then like our businesses will target that a little bit. And it very much intertwines with our personal life too. And we also, as creatives, often have to reinvent ourselves throughout our journey as we grow and redefine like, okay, this served me.

Yeah.

And now does it still serve me? And then maybe that's a yes and then maybe that's a no. And so if you're someone that's listening and you're struggling with that, it's okay to every few years or however much, ask yourself, is this really what I'm created to do right now or was that just for a season?

Yeah, big time. What about you? What are you in between right now?

I am in between... I think that I'm in a very crucial stage of my life in different areas where things are really great. And at the same time, deep down, I think that I have a vision for more and I am craving a little bit more. And so I think I'm reconciling the fact that just because things are great and just because we're no longer in survival mode or things aren't bad doesn't mean that it's exactly what we need for our life long term. And so whether that's living situations, whether that's even what you were referring to, like a career, it doesn't really— there's so many different ways to look at it. But I think that I'm in the process of creating my own life. And it kind of relates back to this episode of at the end of the day, we are the ones creating and crafting our life. And every decision that we make leads into that. And so while life is really great right now, at the same time, like, what is the life that I want to create and have 5 years from now? And having to make decisions that are really hard towards that. And I think sometimes it can just be much easier when it's like, oh, this is toxic, or this is not what I like. But what happens when you do like something or something is okay? But you want more. So that's kind of what I'm trying to figure out right now.

Yeah. It's the gap between where you're at and where you want to be. And that can sometimes come along with a lot of questions around like, how do I get there? What do I really want? And for me, sometimes it looks like, okay, am I content? Is content okay? Is it like— I feel like Content is different than complacency, but sometimes it feels like they're the same. So yeah, it's the it's like the constant back and forth between wanting more, appreciating what you have, but then also wanting to like make decisions that align with what you want in the future and not like indecision creates a lot of stuckness too. So it's, yeah, I hear you. Lots of big decisions ahead, but like good and good decisions, decisions that you have worked hard to make too.

For sure. For sure. And even small decisions, and it really leads into like our episode for today of creating that dream life 9 to 5 and talking about like your morning routines or your different routines that you might have is really taking that ownership of what is it that you want your everyday to look like? And you have control over that. No one else. You are choosing what you do with your time, what job you go to, what business you have, who you have relationships with. You are allowing your friendships to take space in your life. And so I think that I'm in a space where I'm wanting to really grow into that. And I am so excited for today's conversation to really spark that conversation also in the people that listen to the podcast with your partners, with yourself, and with your friendships of What does that life look like outside of your 9 to 5 and how can we make it feel so full and rich?

Yeah, agreed. I love this, this month's theme. Last episode, if you didn't get to catch it, was all about creating hobbies outside of work and exploring interests, trying new things. So today's topic is all around creating routines and rhythms outside of work that make your life more meaningful. So we've kind of split it into 4 different routines or rhythms. Morning, this is so basic, but your morning and evening routine genuinely make up so much of the energy that you bring your day. So we'll be talking through those and then your movement routine and then your social routine. So we did a very, very deep dive on morning routines in another episode. We have a whole episode just on morning routines. So we won't be going like nitty, nitty gritty into this today. So I highly recommend going and listening to that episode. But let's start with morning routines and how they impact like, you know, the life outside of work.

Yeah, for sure. I think that starting your day by prioritizing yourself can make the overall day not feel so anxious or reactive. I think it's the first step to say, I choose me. I choose to take responsibility for my time. My job doesn't run my day or my calendar doesn't run my day. I choose to run my day. And so whether it's you have a workout routine in the morning, whether it's journaling or spending time outside in nature and going for a walk, or as simple as you really enjoy making your craft coffee in the morning and making that a non-negotiable because it feels loving to you. And maybe it's a part of your hobbies. It's like you've invested time and in your equipment that you want to have this amazing cup of coffee every morning. I think it's important to just identify what are those things that bring you joy, what are the things that bring you life, and what are the things that really help set your mindset on the right track for the day so that you feel fully equipped and fully ready for what's ahead.

Mm-hmm.

And then personally, I think it's just great to journal in the morning and have some kind of meditation routine or prayer routine that can really help bring ease and peace for the day.

Yeah.

Of analyzing, how am I feeling this morning? Okay, I'm feeling a little stressed or on edge. Now we can step into all these conversations with the people that we work with or the partners and everything with more peace. Um, but yeah, overall, just like finding those things that can help, um, both your mental health and like your emotional awareness, and also integrating those things that bring you joy in life.

Absolutely. I mean, I used to roll out of bed into work, so I like definitely feel like I can talk to both sides of not having a morning routine and the stress that that would sometimes into my day or I would just kind of— I almost feel like I lived to work so that I could just like— I stayed up late, my night owlness would like come in really hot, and then I would wake up at 8 o'clock, make some coffee, and then roll into like my laptop at 8:30 and just start work immediately. And over the last couple of years, I started to realize that my energy, my creativity, even like the way that I handle conflict and stress, will change based on how I'm prioritizing myself in the mornings. So if I'm like rolling out of bed, my mind isn't right, not necessarily for me, it wasn't like I would get frustrated more easily. I also wasn't, I didn't have an outlet at the time where I was moving, where I was getting stress out of my body. And so when you're living and you're working in the same place, because I've always worked remote my whole life, Like, there's no separation. And so, I found myself frustrated or getting annoyed at things that didn't really warrant annoyance, but I was annoyed. And, it was because I treat my morning routine like stress management. It helps me manage stress and it helps me regulate my emotions. So, I use my morning routine almost like medicine. It's like a supplement to me. So it's like the getting up at 5:30, going to the gym, journaling, making my smoothie, listening to a podcast while I'm getting ready. It's a ritual that I use as a tool to help me manage the stuff that's going to happen throughout the day. So I think if you shift your mindset around it and experiment, give yourself permission to experiment with your morning routine and try on different things. I think that's also something that you don't have to commit to all of it at one time. And you also don't have to commit to something that you don't enjoy.

Yes.

Like, oh, I'm gonna do this morning routine and I gotta do it because I saw this on TikTok or I saw this on Instagram and, you know, someone told me that I should. It's like crafting a morning routine that you actually like are excited when you wake up to do the routine. That's another thing.

Absolutely. I feel like being able to figure out what it is that works for you. And for me also, it's infusing the things that you really desire in life. So for example, there was a season in my life where I really desired to show people appreciation for who they are and make people aware of why I'm so grateful that they're a part of my life. And so every morning I would text someone or I would send them a voice message and just randomly just say, I appreciate you for this. You've taught me this. I'm so grateful that you've done that. And it was just this extra energy that I got from just actually taking the time to appreciate them, not just on a birthday or just on Thanksgiving Day, just out of the blue. The reactions that I got too of like, oh, I didn't know that you felt that way, or I didn't know that this had impacted you, and just being able to surprise them with that. And overall, it brought my mindset for the rest of the day in like a thankfulness mindset. And so I would show up differently to my calls, to things. I would be like, oh, like, I appreciate that you did this, or I've seen the way that you've been growing in that. Like, I am so grateful for you. So it doesn't always have to be also this like mindset thing. It can be infusing those like very sweet moments or the type of person that you want to become, infusing those habits into your morning as well.

Yeah, 100%. And I think let's chat about evening routines because— well, actually, one more thing I'll say about morning routines. I'm working with some coaching clients right now on morning routines and around organizing your calendar and organizing your time. And I encourage them to pick 3 things that you'd like to do in the morning before you start work, just 3. So that could be, I want to sit outside on my front porch for 5 minutes. And breathe fresh air. I want to make myself coffee and like a nutritious breakfast. And I want to like, you know, take my dog on a walk or I want to write down something I'm grateful for. Like it doesn't necessarily have to be this 1-hour commitment. It's like, what are 3 things that are going to bring you a level of joy that you can do in the morning? And that starting small, just start small and then work up to something that might feel You know, like more of a 2-hour routine, or maybe you want to keep it small and simple, and that's also okay too.

For sure. I think that that's such a great practical tip, and I actually think I need to reevaluate my morning routine. So I'm going to take that and I'm going to work on that this week of like, what are the top 3 things? Because that feels sustainable even on the crazy days compared to like my full morning routine. Would I love to do it every day?

Yes.

And it's not practical every single day.

Totally. Yeah.

Totally.

And I'm also realizing like on the days that I don't go to the gym, I will like look for things around the house to do. And that brings me joy. Where I'm like, oh, you know what? I'm going to do a load of laundry. Like that, I don't know why, but that makes me happy.

The joy of the laundry brings you joy. I know.

It's weird. But like doing household tasks actually right now in this season, brings me a level of joy. I'm like, oh, I'm going to sweep the, like, the main floor. I'm going to sweep the kitchen. I'm going to vacuum. Like, that feels productive. It feels fun to me right now. And so, that's even something I'll do before work just to get me in my body and get me doing something before I sit down at my desk. So, okay, evening routine. What has helped you in that shutdown period? So, you're logging off of work.

Yeah.

That moment from going to sleep, how has that shifted over the last couple of years?

Yeah. So I used to have no nighttime routine. I would go to my full-time job, then go to the gym, have dinner, come back, and then jump straight into doing my business until midnight and then just roll straight to bed. Repeat the next day.

Repeat.

So now for the most part, I'm done with work at the latest, like 7-ish. Um, and then normally I'll work out. I love working out after like work just because I feel like I'm able to get all that stress out, get all that energy out. And I feel like it creates this like boundary with work where I'm able to come back home and just take my time making dinner and just be able to really relax into the evening. And then the rest of that can look very different every day, whether it's like a social interact— interaction or just winding down. But for me, the things that have brought me the most joy in my nighttime routine is I'm crazy about lighting. And so after sunset—

No overhead lighting.

Literally, I turn off all my overhead lighting. I feel like it mentally starts prepping my body to wind down and shut down. So I have lamps and I will bring the overhead lights down a little bit. Sometimes I'll do a bath and just really start to disconnect my mind because I can just keep running and running on work and ideas because I love it so much. And so, yeah. And then a nighttime walk too is something that I enjoy just around the neighborhood. Just depends on the season of the year. And reading has been really great for me. That's something that started with 75 Hard. And I really loved and enjoyed to wind down with that. But I think for me, it's more when it comes to this topic of creating your dream life outside of your 9 to 5. Something that has been on my vision board for this year is infusing a lot more wellness habits and routines. And so I'm learning a lot more of how to get a deeper sleep, how to wind down properly, all these things. And so to me, that feels very— fulfilling to work on the lighting and work on reading and work on the sounds and the phone and all that stuff. I'm not fully there yet, but that's pretty much what has helped me.

Yeah. I think having a vision for what you want your evenings to look like, even if you have kids, maybe your kids have a bedtime. Okay, so maybe instead of 4 hours in your evening before bed. Maybe you have 45 minutes, but it's like, what do you want those 45 minutes to be like after your kids go to bed? So, and feeling like you have a choice over that. And even same if you don't have children, like what do you want your evenings to be like so that they feel fulfilling and meaningful? I get in a rut with TV. Like, I mean, you might not know this about me, but your girl can watch TV. I'm a pro. I'm a professional TV watcher and I love shows. I love shows. I love movies. It's something that I grew up doing and that's a part of my family. Even whenever I'm home at night after dinner, it's like, okay, what movie are we going to watch tonight? We did that every night I was home. That's just something that we enjoy together. It's how we like to enjoy spending time. Matthew did not come from a TV family. They were always doing things in the evenings. And so we're meshing, like there'll be a couple nights where we'll have too much TV and he's like, I'm going to have a no TV night. And I'm like, oh yeah, that feels kind of hard to me. But yeah, I guess I can try. So lately we have been trying to have kind of guidelines around TV. So during the weeknights, we'll only try to watch TV maybe 2 nights out of the 4. I don't count Friday night as a— As a weeknight. And then, we have date nights on Wednesdays. So, it's like, okay, I know that I'm trying to put some parameters around TV. And then, something else I've been trying to do in the evenings is, one, have a set bedtime. I start my skincare routine between 9:00 and 9:15 so that I can get in bed at 9:30 and be asleep by 10:00 because I can run really, really consistently on 7.5 hours of sleep. So if I'm asleep by 10, I can be up at 5:30. Not everyone, everyone needs different amounts of sleep, but that's a big thing. Like what's your relationship with sleep and how does that impact your evening routine? So what do you want your bedtime to be? And then also, like, I love social. I mean, we're going to talk about this, but like, I know that I would love to have at least like one social outing thing a week. So maybe that's getting coffee with a friend. Maybe it's working out with a friend. Maybe it's doing a double date. There's lots of different things that we can do. But, outside of just date night, I'd like to do something social. And, I know that that will impact my evening routine. So, that means we make dinner reservations at 5:30 instead of 7:00 so that I can be in bed by 9:15, y'all. So, it's knowing when you'd like to be asleep will also give you the ability to adjust what your evening routine is.

But yeah, definitely.

And I think it's important to have a set close-off time from work.

For sure. Because it will impact your morning then. If you want to have a morning routine and you go to bed too late, you're not going to have the energy or be able to do that. And I think that if you're listening to this and you're saying, oh my gosh, all this sounds so overwhelming. I have no idea. Uh, where to even start, just start with sleep. Like, it is one of the— out of all like the research that I've been reading lately, sleep is the biggest thing that will impact your mood, your mentality, your energy. And so even just with that, like, okay, no matter what, even if I didn't do all of these things, I'm in bed by 9 or I'm in bed by 10, fantastic. Just start there. And then now you'll be able to wake up at the time that you want the next day. Focus on that for a few weeks, then start like adding on to it of like, okay, what do I want next? Like maybe it's a social aspect of it. Maybe it's reading a book every night or most nights. Fantastic. Then just start like adding on to it. But the point is, don't let like your days just go by and just work dictates it. And then you're just coping with social media or coping, because I'm guilty of it, coping with TV.

Me too.

And then just like roll into bed super late and then roll into the next thing. Like, We have ownership and being able to start with doing that little by little is going to have a huge impact.

Yeah, I completely agree. Okay. Into movement routines, which we've kind of touched on a little bit, whether you do that in the evening or midday, mid-afternoon, or in the evening— or sorry, in the morning. How have you approached your movement routine? For me, it's like I'd like to move my body intentionally at least 5 times a week. That can look like a lot of different things. I don't have to have that be weightlifting. What has your relationship with a movement routine looked like?

Yeah, I think it has evolved for sure. Right now where I'm at is really listening to my body, really cycle syncing quite a bit. So based on where I'm at in the cycle, in my cycle, I will not push myself harder just because of a goal. And so I will still create that movement, but not so much in that sense. And I've been using movement to cope with stress as well. So if I have a stressful day, then I'll go for a walk after lunch and just around my neighborhood and then come back and jump back into work. But I will still go to the gym in the evening.

Yeah.

And whenever I go to the gym in the evening time, that's my time to really Just have fun with it. Really push through, really be challenged, really keep upping that weight, keep doing different things, trying new workouts. I think that for a really long time, I was taught how to do certain exercises and they worked really well. And at the same time, I just got stuck into the same things.

Yes.

And so I am learning the art of trying new things. And it's great. It's important. I've realized also through that, how it intimidates me to try new things and look silly at the gym trying new things. But we're working on that. And so I feel like that gym time is just precious. There's so much going on emotionally and internally, and there's so much that I'm exerting and releasing stress. So yeah, I think it just depends on the week that I'm at. in my cycle, whether I am pushing hard weight or I'm doing more yoga or Pilates at home or going for longer walks too. But that's pretty much my movement right now.

Yeah, I feel you on the intimidation in the gym. When I first got into my movement journey, I would say January of 2021 was when I actually downloaded the Sweat app. Picked one of their programs and actually went deep into the consistency. And what I liked about the Sweat app, and a lot of other apps have this where it'll have a program that you pick and it'll show you how to use the equipment and it'll show you how to actually do different movements. I really liked that because I felt like I had a guide. Maybe if you are walking into the gym and you're feeling overwhelmed, there are a lot of apps and different programs out there that will give you the visuals. Because I'm a very visual person and I feel like that helped me learn. Another thing with that is like I, over the last couple months have, and I've talked about this on the pod a little bit, have kind of felt like I'm in like a rut with my movement goals. And so I downloaded, I realized it was because I wasn't necessarily, I was getting a little bored actually where I'm like, okay, I'm running or I'm walking or I'm doing yoga and like I'm trying different things and I'm cool with that. But I also want to feel like I'm walking into the gym and I'm like, oh, this is fun again. And I feel like it wasn't really as fun. It was more of like, this is my habit, this is my routine. It helps mental health, it helps my physical health, and I appreciate that, but I'm not necessarily having the fun that I used to have. And so, I switched apps to the Alive app by Whitney Simmons and I'm trying Libby Christensen. She has a specific weight training program and I'm doing her advanced Lift. I think the program's called Lift. But anyways, I've been loving it. And I'm like, oh, this is so much fun. The app, even this is so simple, but it's different colors, it's a different person. And I also follow her on social media. So it's like, I feel like I know her, not really, but you know? And I'm like, okay, I feel like I'm working out with my gal pal Libby. Instead of like, okay, I've been using the Sweat app for over 2 years, I'm ready for something different.

Yes.

If you are in a rut, what are small things that you can do to make it more fun? Maybe that's— I've also been working out with one of my girlfriends that I met at the gym and that has brought a whole new level of connection in the gym and in my movement routine to not have to do it alone. And I've loved that. Just looking for different ways to infuse fun and connection into movement instead of it being this rigid checkbox to your week.

100%. I think that life can be fun. And I think sometimes when we master these habits, then it can turn into a chore. And that's exactly where switching things up can really help to bring that fun factor into it. class or trying to go to a kickboxing class one night for kicks. Well, pun intended.

I love that.

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so shifting into social aspect of creating your dream life, I want to share something that we tried earlier this year. So shout out to Riley. I know that he listens to it, and we shouted him out last time, too, but he did Him and Becca did this thing in January where it was like Coffee Shop Saturdays at their house. And it was so fun. And basically the idea was like, they made coffee for us, they invited their closest friends. And it's everyone that they, you know, are close to in one spot. But a lot of times those people will not cross paths with each other. So it was a really fun way to meet other people within the community.

Mm-hmm.

And have that time where Sometimes you go to a coffee shop, they're there, you say hi, it's an acquaintance, move on to work or to hang out with a friend that you showed up with. And so it was this intimate setting to a coffee shop that was as simple as coffee. And they're big coffee people, so they were making lattes and all of that. But if you're listening to this and you love that idea, you can even do like, okay, pick up your favorite coffee, and then we all gather at my house for coffee shop mornings and just kind of having that intentional time. It was just about an hour or 2, so it was very casual. It was not like this whole production of like hosting and not overwhelming, but it was very refreshing. It was really fun. Um, I'm really looking forward to like having that experience again. And yeah, I feel like that's just such a fun idea for anyone that might want to try that.

I love that idea. I, I think that's really cool. I've seen a couple people online like do similar cadences with dinner parties. That's something I think I expressed that maybe in the last episode of like that being a hobby, but also something that really ties into this dream life that I'm creating with my social environment. And I think when it comes to hosting and inviting people in, it's a very intimate process. It's like coming to my home. It's different than like, oh, let's go and meet out all the time. When it comes to building your social cadence, Everyone has different social batteries and everyone has different capacities for social engagement. So you know yourself best. Maybe that's, I want to see, I want to do something social twice a week. And maybe that's, I want to do something social 5 times a week. It just depends on where you are in your life as well. In Nashville, I literally had a social engagement, I would say 6 out of the 7 days. I was nuts.

14 times a week.

Literally. And I would have afternoon coffees, morning coffees, something in the evening. Like, I was just booked and busy and blessed, but got to a point where that didn't work for me anymore. And I was really burnt out. I was like, I wasn't really spending any time for myself. I didn't have any downtime. And that usually manifested in me being like really short and snippy. And I don't want that either. So it's like, okay, I need to scale that back. Now, I definitely want to have something social on the weekends. And I want to have one social thing during the week. So I know that I want 2 things. If I go over, that's fine. If I go under, eh, like I would like to have at least 2. So what is that for you? Like for your weeks, how many social things would you like to commit to? And then what on the weekends, you know, how social do you want to be, if at all? And that's okay. But it's like, if you have these goals of wanting to have deep, meaningful friendships, that does require time and effort and planning. And so maybe that's even like, hey, all of us girls are going to get together once a month. And every month we're going to do something different. That's once a month. So how can you choose a cadence and a commitment level that feels comfortable to you that you're also not hermiting? Because I've also been in hermiting seasons where I don't see anybody. And then I feel in my soul like, oh, I feel so disconnected. I don't feel like anybody knows me, like, and I don't feel like I know anyone. And so then when I'm feeling really low, I don't feel like I can even reach out to anybody because I've been hermiting for so long that like—

You're like, hi, it's me. How y'all doing?

Do you know what I mean? I'm like the hermiting thing.

100%. Oh my gosh, I do that so much whenever my mental health is low, I will hermit so much. I think too, for anyone that has very fluctuating schedules, for me, being able to say I want 2 social events a week wouldn't be practical because my schedule changes so much every week. So I love mentioning maybe it's just once a month depending on what week is maybe a little bit more open than other ones because—

Totally.

I've also— so last week, for example, My nephews were sleeping over because their parents were out of town and they needed somewhere to stay. So I was like, yeah, I have a wedding that day, but you guys can crash with me. They're 17 and 13. I was like, here's the code to the house. You can come. And then we ended up having this whole listening party thing. Your girl was falling asleep on these 17-year-olds. I could not hang. And so we had so much fun. And ideally, I would have loved to have been rested for that and given them more time and attention that weekend. And so I think just being able to be realistic about where your schedule is at, what kind of energy you're going to have, so that also you avoid those last-minute cancellations where you're just like, I'm so sorry, I'm dead. Can we do this another week?

Yes, that's a great point. It's like those last-minute cancellations are usually a result of not necessarily managing stress or your time well throughout the week. And so it's like, okay, I'm actually like so burnt out and so tired, like I just can't tonight. And that's okay. Like, I— and I've done that, and I think it's fine. But it's also a symptom of like a larger thing. And so it's like being able to manage that. Um, another thing I'll say around like the social, um, rhythms is, um, Especially whenever you're in your 20s, normalize that not having to revolve around alcohol or revolve around spending money in general. Because I think a lot of times when you're trying to be social outside of work and you're trying to infuse this like social lifestyle that brings you joy, a lot of times in your 20s and sometimes early 30s and beyond, that usually revolves around like, let's go meet up for happy hour or a drink after work or drink on the weekend, drink, drink, drink. And that's fine if you're in that season of life. And that also usually requires money. And if you're in a season where things are tight or you're trying to save, how can you do things with your friends that aren't necessarily revolving around alcohol or consumption or food? And that way you're not having to spend as much money and you can just enjoy being present with each other, which is why I love the coffee morning idea on a Saturday is because it's like, it's low budget. Yeah, it's in the morning, like you're still getting quality time, but you know, it's respecting everybody else as well in that, and that it doesn't have to, you know, revolve around alcohol or spending money. And I'm like in that season where I'm trying to create social connections outside of those kinds of environments.

Absolutely love that you brought that up because I think a lot of people will hermit not because of where they're at emotionally, but because where they're at in their finances. And so being able to come up with plans where— a few ideas, like the coffee shop one is one. You could do picnic at the park. You could go thrifting. Like, you don't necessarily have to buy anything, but it's like fun to find things together. You could, like, if there's a new album, you can drive around and like listen to the album, pick up some coffee if you want, or bring your own coffee. Do takeout too, or even just like—

Totally.

Try a new recipe together with your friends. Like, we're all gonna bake this together, we split the cost, we make things at home. And I think just normalizing, A, when you're making plans, often asking people to like, hey, is this restaurant okay within your budget? Is it not? Etc. And then also you speaking up and being like, hey, would love to hang, but unfortunately like that would exceed my budget for the month. Let me know if any other plans come up or if you're open to like going for a walk tomorrow. And speaking up for yourself too.

Yes. Love that. Love that so much. I love this topic. I feel like I could talk about it for forever. I have so many thoughts.

Yes, we will need to do a part 2 maybe next year. We need to move on to the next thing.

Next theme. Next week is around romanticizing your life. I'm so excited about that topic. I feel like that was a big, like last year, being the main character, romanticizing your life. What were you gonna say?

I'm just laughing because I said love, like super deep love.

I love that. Oh my gosh, we made it to the end of this episode. Thank you for being here. Tag us or screenshot your podcast player and jump over to Instagram and tag us in an Instagram story so that we know you're listening. We also do Q&As at the end of every month, and we're doing another April Q&A. So if you have a question for Astrid and I, slide into either of our DMs, either for the podcast, which is @inbetween.pod, or you can just ask me a question directly. And my Instagram is @alexisteichmiller.

And mine is @astridjohannaphoto. We cannot wait to chat with you guys next time. Thank you so much for tuning in today.