5 Questions To Ask Yourself Before 2023 to Cultivate Growth

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between. Hello friends, And welcome back to The In Between Podcast. It is one half of the pod, Alexis, and the other half, Astrid. And the exciting part about what's happening right now is that Astrid and I are actually together recording in the studio, and it feels so good to like actually look at you in real life in 3D instead of just over, you know, Zoom.

I know, it's good to like look into your eyes, and I can't wait to dive deeper into this. I can't wait. We're gonna cry in person and not virtually.

All the emotions, the big deep ranges. Um, yeah, I'm home in Illinois for Christmas.

It feels so good.

Um, how— this is your second Christmas in your house?

Yes, it is.

How does that feel?

It feels amazing. I love having my own place, calling it like my own. It's just weird to walk around and be like, I own this place.

Yeah, this is mine.

This is mine. I own that fridge and the microwave. That's mine.

I have, I have, uh, rights to that. Yeah.

Yeah, um, so it's— yeah, it's, it's just like so special whenever it's your place. Um, and at the same time, I'm really proud of myself because this year I didn't get carried away with decorations or buying things because it's— last year the house was so new and I wanted to just get a lot of stuff. And then this year I was like, you know what, I want to put up my Christmas stuff, which I did. And then I just didn't put my energy towards like decorating everything. It was just too much going on. And so I've just really enjoyed it. Just Light up the Christmas tree every night.

It's great. Me too. I have the Christmas tree on anytime I'm in the like main area, the living room or the kitchen. I have the Christmas tree on.

Yes, me too.

But if I'm like upstairs, you know, in my office or my bedroom, we don't have it on. But it is so festive, and I feel like I'm a simple Christmas decoration girly. Both my mom and my nana like absolutely— it's like a Hallmark Christmas card. My mom has like, I think, 4 or 5 trees in the house. Each like little room. We have a Christmas tree in our, in our guest bedroom that we're, that we're staying in. Like everything is just so Christmassy. And same with even Matthew's parents as well. Like it's just, they're like a lot of beautiful Christmas decor. And I think a reason why I don't go all out is because I, we usually spend it with our families.

Mm-hmm.

So it's like we have the tree, we have a few like little, you know, Santas, but it just isn't, I don't know, we're like not there for Christmas.

Yeah.

Yes. So it's like we have the Christmas tree, we did our Christmas already. I got a Dyson Airwrap.

Oh my gosh, I saw A, the unboxing, and B, the results. I'm obsessed.

I—

you, you're influencing me and it's dangerous.

I really feel like I'm getting the hang of it. There is a little bit of a learning curve with the Dyson, and it also depends on which one you get because there's different attachments. So it's like, I didn't get a blow dryer, I got the like Airwrap So there's like different, different, um, styles, packages that you can get. Um, but yeah, I'm loving it so far.

That's amazing.

Yeah, you do have to like, you know, put oil on your ends. Like, because I don't use heat, you— there's like layers to the heat. You can have cold, warm, or hot.

Oh, okay.

But like, I'm not just— I'm not used to putting heat on my hair. I don't really curl my hair anymore. I don't really straighten my hair anymore. So this has been like, okay, if we're going to be using this, we need to do like some extra hair care. Yeah, but it's been great. I love it.

It looks so good. Thank you. I want it now. Get it.

I'm influencing you to get a Dyson Airwrap if it's in your budget and if, you know, you know, you're working towards it.

If it's responsible financial girlies, if it's in your budget, buy one.

Yeah. Um, okay, what should we— should we talk about what we're in between right now?

Let's do it. Yeah.

All right, what are you in between right now?

Okay, I feel like there's a lot of really great stuff that's been happening in my life. And at the same time, some of it is triggering to some of my deepest insecurities and traumas. And so I've had this season of healing that is very unfamiliar to me. And up to this point, it's— I guess once you go through the healing process, you kind of know what feelings are coming up. I knew how to dealt with them, and it was like this comfortable spot of how to deal with them. And then now it's a new layer of healing that, yeah, it's just new. I just don't know how to navigate it. And it's also beautiful because I can work through a lot of this stuff, honestly, like within an hour or 2.

Mm-hmm.

And then I can remind myself of what the truth is about the situation and then move past it. But within that hour, 2-hour timeframe, It's like all the old feelings come back. I started getting like shaky again. I just have to remind myself like I'm not in that situation anymore. Mm-hmm. And so I'm in between, um, healing seasons.

Mm-hmm. It's interesting too how when those things happen, it opens up a new layer of healing that you might've not expected. Yeah. Or you might've even thought like, oh, I thought I was through this and now I'm experiencing it in this way.

Yeah.

And so it opens up like new things to unlock in your mind and like new ways to heal. And yeah, um, it can also feel like really draining on your energy. Yeah. Is that how you're feeling it right now?

Um, yes and actually no. Okay, so here's something that's interesting about this healing layer. Every time those feelings come up, and it really comes out of a trigger, and then it wants to take me, almost like pull me back into what my old situation was, once I go through that hour or 2 of crying, of processing, of reframing afterwards, I feel great. I feel like I took 10 pounds off my back and it's gone. Like, I normally— the old healing layer of me would have had a heavy day overall, and then the next day would have still been a little bit heavier.

Yeah.

And then it was fine. Now it's more like— it's almost like I'm shedding layers. And so—

You're like really like letting things go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. And so that has been really interesting, um, to process and, and communicate as well. Um, and at the same time, I'm reminded one of the things that I first learned in my healing process, which is there's 2 steps to forgiveness. One is forgiving the action of what something did, and 2 is forgiving the impact of those actions. And the impact of those actions sometimes can even last a lifetime because as you navigate through life, there's different triggers. occurs to those actions. And so that has been a beautiful layer as well of being reminded that that's part of the process.

Yeah.

And I can also choose to let it go, and I can choose to forgive, and I can— and I still deserve a great new life. So yeah, so I'm, I'm equally very happy and also navigating healing and facing, um, Just those, those deep insecurities and wounds.

I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

It's also a hard— like, it— the holidays in general can be very triggering to a lot of things, like memories and seasons with other people. And it's like, it can feel really heavy already, or even just like reminiscent. Like, it can just feel like you're very reflective. It's the end of the year, it's the holidays, you're with your family, it's like sentimental, but you're also like Sometimes that can be very triggering to other aspects of life. So I am proud of you for going through that and also making space to feel it.

Thank you.

Like when we're talking about that today, like how often do you actually make space to feel things? And I feel like that's something I admire about you so much is like, you're very aware of when you are, like when it happens and then you make space to process it when you can. Like sometimes you can't immediately go make space to process it. Um, but I think that's really beautiful and, and a skill that we can all Like learn from.

Thank you, thank you. I'm still learning how to work through it, but I think that the worst thing we can do is avoid, right? And that's like the number one way to go into self-betrayal. So thank you, baby. What are you in between?

Oh, this is a good one. Well, I'm home for the holidays. It's the first time that Matthew and I have been home since we moved. Oh yes, so it's been 6 months and it's been really good. Like, I think that I Walked into the move with a lot of expectation around my growth. And I think that it's happened. Like, I think that I have met myself on the corner of growth when I needed to. And the move has been everything that I thought it would be, could be, and more. So that feels really good to like be back in the place that I left, see, okay, I'm really glad that we did it when we did. I'm glad that we made the jump and took the risk and Even though there have been hard elements and very challenging seasons in the last 6 months, I still don't regret it. And I think that is something like, you know, when you make these choices in your life, really being able to look back and say, I am exactly where I need to be, feels so good. So I think something I am in between right now is when I come home, I've noticed like my dynamic in the family.

Hmm.

In any family, in my large family, in my little pod with my nana and my mom, with my, with my personal immediate family, with Matthew's family. Like, I just fall into the role of the energy coordinator.

Hmm.

Like I become, like, I am coordinating photos. I'm coordinating food. I'm coordinating energy, conversation, trying to be deep, trying to be intentional. I see these people a handful of times a year. You know, I'm making the meals. I'm picking out the recipes, like the mental load. Is a lot, and I got really, really snappy with Matthew yesterday. I'm being I'm being transparent on the pod. I got really, really snappy at him and like was not very nice, and I said something to him out of frustration that was very reactive to something else, and he was like, "Whoa!" He was like, "I did not deserve that," and I don't know what is going on, and obviously. Like, you're, you're not quite yourself right now. Like, that's not something that you do. Like, we don't talk to each other that way, but I'm gonna need you to work that out and then come back to me whenever you've decided, like, what's going on so that you can communicate with me and I can be a part of this with you instead of you, like, just snapping at me. And I was like, you're right, I need to go work out and we'll talk afterwards. And, like, we went to the gym I said that on the way to the gym. We didn't talk to each other at the gym. We worked out and then I got in the car and I was like, I'm so sorry. Here's why I'm frustrated. I am feeling like my, this is such a weird thing, but like when you come home or you're in a season where you're kind of the planner or the organizer, you feel a lot of your independence and your, like your autonomy kind of being, kind of being tugged at. Mm-hmm. Because you want to jump in, and there's a part of me that loves being the coordinator, the vibe manager. Like I love that. But when I'm doing that in a lot of different quadrants of my life at the same time, like we have our event and doing this with all the family stuff, and like there's stuff going on at work that's been kind of out of my control. That's being kind of okay, Alexis. You're doing this. So so I think that these like areas of my life were kind of coming to a head, and so yesterday I was like okay. This is what's happening. Here's how I'm going to fix it. Here's how I'm going to manage it and like get out of it. But those in-between moments of like, my behavior did not match like who I am. And that can be hard, right, y'all? Like, you know, we're in the middle of growth and we want to be over here and act like we're healthy all the time.

Mm-hmm.

But like, I was not healthy yesterday and it was really good for me to see 2 days into the trip. Now, over the next 2 weeks, I can really touch base with myself and recognize I actually don't need to be in the middle of this.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, oh, I'm doing it again. I actually don't need to be in the middle of this and like be able to kind of remove myself when I really don't need to be the energy curator and the vibe manager and like coordinating everyone's energy, even though I like it. I can't be doing it in all these different quadrants of my life.

Yeah.

So that was a really interesting, like, real life kind of takeaway. And something I'm in between is like noticing those things and being ahead of them so that my actions don't end up hurting people that I love, you know?

So, girl, thank you so much for sharing that. It's, it's such a great example of how in a partnership or even just Close friendships, they're the ones who get that first line of responses whenever we haven't figured stuff out in ourselves.

I know.

And sometimes, like, if we have a day or something, you can notice it. We have the space. You're like, oh, I'm feeling off. Why am I feeling off? And we go through all this stuff. But when life is busy and you're just back to back to back to back, you're just like, there's no time to process or think. So the way when you were sharing, like, sequence of events, I was like, well, that makes sense. You didn't have a second to like step back and be like, oh, I'm feeling off. Like, why am I feeling off? You're just going through the motions, like through the next thing.

Yeah.

And so I also think it's powerful how Matthew said, like, called you out on it, but also in such a loving way and nonjudgmental, because I think the tendency, or perhaps what most of us have learned, is to be like, Whoa, why are you talking to me like that? I, you know, like more in a defensive mode rather than trying to problem solve together. And so that was such a beautiful example of like, okay, one, respect me. Like, that's not how we talk to each other.

Totally.

2, let's take space. And 3, invitation. I love that he wrapped up with invitation. Yeah. Once you figure it out, what you need, what's going on, I would love to be a part of this with you and support you.

Yeah.

And that it can be very hard to do when someone's just hurt your feelings. And that's incredibly powerful. Like, I'm taking notes here.

Seriously. I mean, I think that's something I really appreciate about him is like, and about our relationship, is giving each other the space to process instead of like, I need you to know right now, why did you do that? Why did you act like that? He's like, go do what you need to do. Come back. Let's figure it out. Um, but let's not. Let's not create this habit or this pattern while we're home because I don't act like that at home because I don't have these back-to-the things, you know, like where it's the holiday season. And so I'm going to take my own notes and go back and listen to our episode from November about how to manage your mental health during the holiday season. So I'm going to go back and listen to us talk about that. Uh, it feels very fresh right now, but yeah, it's good. I mean, I, I Still through that experience is like just really starting to take radical responsibility for like how I show up in relationships and the energy load that I just expect to take. Like, oh, I'll own that. I'll own that. I'll take that from you. I'll carry, I'll carry that for you. And it's, I think that's a beautiful thing. But it's also out of control.

Mm-hmm.

You know, and it's like, okay, I don't need to control every environment, every, you know, recipe. Like I need to be able to step back. And so that's something I am kind of in the middle of is like recognizing that it's not always out of service.

Yeah.

Sometimes it's genuinely just out of wanting to be a control freak. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I feel like, okay, you know, we need to step back and just let things unfold.

Yeah.

We don't need to have our hand in everything.

And let it be like not perfect.

Right.

Like, okay, you're in charge of entertainment, or you're in charge of this. And it's like, hey, if it's not what I would have chosen, it is what it is. Like, now we're coming together in this. Yeah. Yeah, I feel that though. I was starting to feel anxious on Saturday as we were running through like the schedule for the holidays, and I just felt like the anxiety pop up, and I was like, what's going on here? And I was like, I need to ask for a day like with nothing because it was like back-to-back-to-back people things, and I was like, I need out on something. And that's some— that's an area where I also realized, okay, I'm independent, I, I can do my own thing, and I don't need to be the coordinator, the planner for everything. But when that anxiety pops up, like, I started to be snippy too, and I was like, why am I being snippy?

It's also— it's also like, it's anxiety, but for me, how I like How I manifest and process that is you're taking something from me.

Yes.

You're taking my time, you're taking my independence, my schedule.

Oh, now we're doing that too?

Yeah. So then I feel like I'm grasping at the straws of my time. And so it's like, okay, how can I still— so this morning we woke up at 5. Yeah, guys and gals, I've joined the 5 AM club.

Oh, Matthew drew you in. He drew me in. Good for you.

We got up at 5:05. We literally went right to the gym and like I made that time for myself first thing in the freaking morning.

Good.

Got to the office, had a coaching call, did my journal routine. Like, I— that's on me. I get to manage how I still infiltrate my rhythms even though I'm away from home.

Yeah.

Like, that's my responsibility.

Yeah.

So anyways, that's what I'm in between. I love it.

I love it. Also, I love how our in-betweens get longer and longer when we're in person. They do.

They're great though.

Yeah.

I hope that you related to that in some way, or like learned something about maybe what not to do in those situations. But it is like real life, and it really does manifest in a lot of different ways.

So it does.

Yeah. Well, I'm really excited about this, this, um, podcast topic. So we're going through 5 questions to ask yourself before 2023. And I know it's a busy time of year, but even if while we're talking you can even process through them. You don't even need to journal through them if you don't have the time, but just kind of process through these 5 questions and see kind of where you're at in these different areas of your life. Um, and even if it's something that you do in January, you know, bookmark this and journal through these questions in January, but it's always really helpful when you're closing the door on one year to then be really reflective and kind of audit. And we've talked about this on the podcast a lot.

Mm-hmm.

It's like kind of auditing where you are. So that you know where you want to go next. So these questions are an invitation to do that, but they're going to go a little bit deeper than just even like, what are you doing? It's also part of like the being side of you.

Yes. So which is where everything stems from. You know, if there's one thing I've learned this year is no matter how many goals we set, how many dreams we have, if we don't have a solid being and like, why do I feel like I can't do something? Why do I feel like I can't launch that business? Why do I feel like I'm not enough? All these different layers. Then that second step of accomplishing that goal or dream perhaps never actually comes to fruition. And so I'm excited to dive deeper into these and reflect on where we're at this year. Um, and also how we've grown.

Truly, truly. Okay. Shall we kick it off with question 1?

Let's do it.

Okay. Do you want to keep these like maybe 2 to 3 minutes each? Because I seriously think each of these could be a podcast episode.

I think so too. I was just looking at them. I was like, we gonna go for a while.

We gonna be here till 9 AM—

9 PM—

9 AM tomorrow.

All-nighter podcasting.

All-nighter. Okay, so question number 1 is, describe your current relationship with yourself. Do you feel connected to yourself?

Okay, I will go first. I would describe my relationship with myself in one word at first, which The word that popped up at first was honest. Um, I think I've gotten to a point where I can have those hard conversations with myself and be like, actually, that's not what I want. Or I can ask and be like, is that really you? Or is that somebody else that put that thought in you at some point? Um, and then just also having the harsher conversations of you're not taking ownership here.

Mm-hmm.

Like, okay, or you're being selfish. Like, this is not about you. This is about somebody else. Yeah. So let's take a step back. And so I feel like my inner critic has developed into a healthier version of me, which is more holding me accountable to stuff. And so I would say my relationship is honest. Um, and do I feel connected to myself? Yes, I do. I, I think that I'm still in the, I, I still think there's a long way to go in that where that connection to myself can go.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm excited for that. Um, but I do feel connected.

Yeah.

What about you?

I feel very connected to myself. I feel like my connection to myself is actually like relatively healthy, but my relationship with myself is not healthy. So I feel like I, I feel connected to my emotions. I feel like I'm really, um, in tune with my body, in tune with my, my mind. I know when I'm Headed in a direction mentally. Um, I feel like I am able to take care of myself. Like, the connection I have with me allows me to take care of me. And in the same way, my relationship with myself is very critical.

Mm-hmm.

I am incredibly judgmental to myself, and I think that's something that I really want to release in the new year. Is in order for me to go where I want to go, that I have such a clear vision for, it's going to require me to be a lot more, um, risky, lighthearted, like a lot more loose with myself.

Mm-hmm.

So that I can actually be fluid and flowy enough to go where I need to go.

Mm-hmm.

My judgment feels like massive roadblocks. I just feel like a construction zone and it's like, okay, we, we're, we're going, we're going, we're going. Oh, construction, turn around. Oh, we're going, we're going. Oh, construction, turn around. And I feel like that is what this year has been, is like really building out those different paths so that I can just feel more flowy.

Yeah.

I don't even know if that makes any sense.

It does.

But that's how I feel. Like I do feel connected, but I also feel Like I live in a constant state of self-criticism.

Do you feel like it's that growth in the connection that is leading you now to where you're realizing this with your inner critic?

Yeah, I think I was able to mask my criticism and my self-judgment with confidence. Like, oh, I'm a really confident person. I can show up. I'm an extrovert. I can really kind of, you know, use my personality to my advantage. But internally, there's, there's a lot going on there about, um, not being where I want to be, not, not really reaching my fullest potential, you know, not working hard enough. Like, there's a lot of that that's interwoven into the way that I show up.

Mm-hmm.

And so it's like, is the way I'm showing up even really authentic? Like, is it really confidence? Is it, is it foundational confidence? Sometimes very much, yes. It's like, Very healthy. But I think that's like where I'm learning on the daily is like, okay, we've really got to, okay, we've got to set the judgment aside so that we can allow ourselves to flow freely through life instead of feeling like, you know, we've got closed doors all around us and then we feel stuck.

Yes. You know? So thank you for sharing that.

That's how I feel about myself.

I love it. I feel like that's just. Exactly where that relation, that connection leads you to though.

Yeah.

Those breakthrough points where you're like, oh, this is the area that I need to work on. And then once that's done, there's another one.

Yeah. I feel that. I feel that. Question 2, how do you currently process your emotions and feelings? And how often do you intentionally hold space for yourself to process and feel those feelings? Hmm.

Such a great question. Hmm. Um, how do I currently process my emotions and feelings? I think the biggest thing is I've learned what my base is, which is peace. That's what I want to have. I've got it now and I want to keep it that way. So whenever something is throwing me off and I start feeling anxious, I start feeling scared, whatever it might be.

Mm-hmm.

That's my first red light. We got to check in what's going on here. And so that's probably step 2 of my process to my emotions and feelings. And then I'll start asking myself things like, why do we feel anxious? What just happened? Or what happened in the last 24 hours? And then if I can pinpoint— so for example, if I'm perfectly fine right now, I'm having a conversation with someone and suddenly I feel anxious and that anxiety pops up, I'm like, Whoa, why did that make me feel anxious? And I could still be in conversation with them, but I'm like also having that conversation in, in the back of my head. And then just kind of asking those things, sometimes it leads me to, oh, this is a trigger, or oh, this hurts my ego, or this is tapping into an insecurity that I have. Okay, let's keep rolling through it. So I think for me, it's just really, A, noticing the emotion. Acknowledging it. And I've really gotten to a place where I don't judge my emotions, which I'm realizing now. It's just like, to me, they're more of a check engine type of thing. No matter the range of the emotion, it could be anger, it can be sadness, it could— it's just like, something's under here. Let's, let's like go ahead and peel that back and see what's under that sadness or anger. And so yeah, feeling neutral towards the emotions and then asking questions to figure out why I'm feeling like that is how I process. And then after that, um, the last layer is, do I actually need to do something about this, or do I just need to hold space? Like, um, I've had to learn to grieve a lot throughout my life, and I've learned to realize sometimes these emotions, there's nothing I need to do next. I just need to sit in that moment and grieve the fact that I no longer have X or Y or Z, and then that's it. And then we move forward and we have a new life and all these different layers. And then there's other times where it's like, okay, I'm feeling all of this and I can do better by taking more responsibility in what I'm doing in my life, and here's how we're gonna implement that. So, um, I think overall though, it's seeing how hurtful it can be to people around me when I don't process my emotions. And then that's what pushes me to process.

Totally.

And I'm not perfect at that at all. And sometimes I do very hurtful things as well. But it's just like, I went through a very tough situation where like the person just kept avoiding and avoiding, and all of those emotions popped out in a very hurtful way. And so that to me is motivation enough where it's like, what someone did to me, I never want to do somebody else.

Yeah.

So we gotta, we gotta work through this emotion. We're not gonna suppress.

Yeah.

Um, so yes, I think that's pretty much how I do that and just give myself space and time to cry and feel it all and then communicate to people around me. And I think me accepting what's happened to me and what I've gone through has led me to, if the people around me Um, let me back up. If I communicated to them and they can't hold space for that, then perhaps they're not the people for me or for me to share that with. And so, yeah, so just being able to process that and then share with somebody else has also been a key part of my healing journey and way that I like to process my emotions.

Is talking about it. Yeah.

What about you?

Verbally processing is huge. I love that you— I just want to like highlight, I love that you talked about really knowing and understanding what your baseline Mm-hmm. I think that's really powerful. I think that's something we can always work towards is like, what is my kind of neutral space? Like, what's that peaceful, neutral place that I kind of am working towards? So then, you know, like when you're in a high or when you're in a low. Um, I think that for my journey, how I process emotions and feelings is I notice my behavior. It's like really tied. It's not, it's not always as proactive as, as you. Um, I notice like my trigger towards a certain action, like I want to shop, I want to drink, I want to book a last-minute trip to get out of here. I want to, you know, like those, like it's a cue.

Mm-hmm.

Like my, my emotions will cue a triggered behavior. That used to make me feel good, that, that's when I'm like, oh, interesting.

Okay.

We want to, you know, have a glass of wine. Why? You know, it's not recreational. Like for me, it's tied to something else. For me, sometimes it is recreational, but when it's tied to like a processed or unprocessed feeling, it's a trigger to like cope.

Mm-hmm.

So mine's like very much tied to, I know my coping mechanisms very well. And when I feel my mind drift towards them, that's like my check engine light.

Mm-hmm.

As I don't even do them. It's like the cue of like, let's just like, I don't know, stressful day. I worked hard. I'm annoyed, whatever. I'm going to online shop to make myself feel better. So that cue will inform me that something is going on and that will help me be like, okay, what's really at play here? That's like my big, my big question I ask.

Mm-hmm.

It's like, what's really at play here? What's going on below the surface? And then in terms of making time, the last 2 months in particular, I've picked back up my journaling habit.

Mm-hmm.

Which has felt really good. It's like a free place to be very honest about where I am in that day. And I will read a week of my journal entries and they are all over the map. And how, how lovely is that? That, that can be a reflection of like a moment in time. And sometimes when we're having a bad day or we're in a bad moment, or we're feeling something that feels really heavy, it just, it's a reminder. It's, it's temporary. Like I'll read a week of my journal entries and I'm like, whoa, we started here. Then we went here and now we're here.

Wow.

Like, and that's over the span of 5 days, not the span of 5 months. Right.

Mm-hmm.

So I think that whenever we can start Connecting the dots of how we process things. And by me making space every day to talk about what I'm grateful for, what would make today a success, um, what's my daily affirmation, like really getting into that again has been a really healing process for me to be able to create daily space for those things.

Mm-hmm.

Um, so that I don't, you know, cue Coping mechanism, and I can hold myself accountable more.

Yes, that's so, so good. It's almost as you were sharing that, it's almost like you have replaced what would have been a coping mechanism with a proactive habit, right? Like journaling and, and pretty much getting to that feeling before it even pops up and you're coping from it, right? I feel that. I, I feel like this fall I went through a coping side of things, and I did not successfully Go through those feelings as much when it was— I was just like so exhausted that I didn't want to process. Because that's another layer people don't talk about. It's exhausting to go through your emotions and figure out and cry and journal and do all this stuff when you're already tired from life. And so a doom scroll on TikTok.

Ooh.

That's my go-to. And then it's just like, I know I don't want to deal with my emotions at that point. And sometimes I'm like, all right, Ashley, we're giving ourselves an hour. You get an hour free pass, and then after this, you're done. We're done. And we're gonna sit down and figure out what's going on. But, um, yeah, I love that. I love hearing the journey that you've had to where you're at now. Yeah, it's been good.

I, I feel like I'm in a good place with my process, and I feel like I know myself well enough to know when I'm heading in those directions. Um, okay, question number 3. What choices were the hardest for you to make this year and why? And then kind of like a bonus question to this is, what choices could you be avoiding right now because they're hard?

I love that I get to go first in these.

I, I think I can go first.

Um, it's, it's okay.

Okay. It's okay.

I can go. Um, what choices were the hardest for me to make this year? Um, I would say 2 come to mind. One for sure, quitting my job, which I've mentioned that before quite a bit, but it was almost facing the underlying layer, was facing all these fears and all the things that I had to process with that of financial insecurity and how that triggered stuff from my childhood. Second was feeling like I'm not good enough and my talents aren't good enough and I'm gonna fail. And then third, just like, am I throwing everything away that like my immigrant parents came to America for. And it was just a lot of things. A lot of pressure.

Yeah.

And then I think at the end of it too, it was just like, I've been through so much. And at one point, my biggest, like, phrase that I would say is like, why won't they fight for me? And then that has reframed to, I want to fight for me. And so being able to jump into this year and be like, okay, we're fighting for ourselves and having a good life. What does that look like? And it looked like taking this risk of going full-time and actually betting that I can do it. And, and yeah, and just working through all of that. So, um, that was one of them. And then, um, the second has just been, um, opening up myself again romantically after—

Mm-hmm.

Almost 3 years of being on my own. And, um, I think just walking through a healing journey that was so intense and is so intense and finally feeling grounded and all by myself and then facing that again and the possibility of that, um, is scary.

Mm-hmm.

And my default was just to like shut that off and be like, no, I don't even want the risk or the possibility of this going wrong, which I see a trend here, right? Between my job and also my romantic life. I don't like the risk of losing things that I care about or people I care about. And so, yeah, so the hardest part about that was just facing those fears, reframing, and deciding that I'm worth taking a chance on that and I can cope through it and I can go through it no matter what the outcome will be. So those will be the top Um, and then what choices are you avoiding right now, honey? Um, I'm trying to— what choices? What choices?

Just, I'm really proud of you for making those choices though.

Thank you.

And look at where they've led you at the end of the year.

It's been a good year. Yeah, I'm so grateful for that.

2022 was like a renewal year.

Yes. Yeah, a lot has happened in both of our lives.

Truly. The fact that you moved 6 months ago, I know, feels like a year ago.

It does.

I feel like a different person.

Yes. Um, what choices am I avoiding right now? Oh, I feel like just, I know where I want to go and I know what it's gonna take, and then I have to make some actions towards that. And that just like the in-between of getting there and actually putting a plan together is something I am avoiding. Um, and at the same time, I'm okay with it for now. It's holiday season, but it's something that I have to intentionally set time apart for in the first few weeks of the year.

I feel that.

All right, your turn, baby. Avoiding growth.

Okay. Um, hardest things for me to— hardest choices for me to make this year. I would say the first one would be joining a company again. Uh, mid-January, I Um, joined, I was full-time freelance, you know, full-time coach doing consulting for 18 months, building a business, building a personal brand. And then I joined, um, a team again in January. And that was a really hard decision. I know that was early in the year, but I think when you make hard choices, you continue making the choice even after you made the initial choice.

Yes.

So I made the choice, and then I felt like the choice followed me for like almost three or four months. It was a hard transition for me mentally. I felt like I failed in my business. I felt like okay, well we're just never meant to be an entrepreneur. You couldn't make it work. You couldn't hit the goals you wanted to. You didn't work hard enough. Like all that shit that really is just like not something that he was even true, right? It was just where it led me in the moment in time, and the stars aligned, and now I. Couldn't be happier that I took the job. Right. And I'm really thankful for my team. I'm thankful for what I've learned this year, how it's leveled me up professionally. And also it's taught me, you know, working with 6, 7-figure entrepreneurs every day, it's taught me how long it's really, you know, taken them.

Mm-hmm.

And it's taken them 8 to 12 years or, you know, lots of ups and downs and freelancing and doing 9 to 5 and like building it all at the same time and like, Everyone's journey looks different, and I think that I was really comparing you know what I had seen at ConvertKit to what it was going to be for me. Yeah, and I think that the choice to go forward with a nine to five and to move my business to like you know my side hustle in a way was really hard. It was a hard decision for sure. Second decision would be. It was hard and it wasn't, but I would say moving.

Mm-hmm.

Um, the decision to move, we moved from Illinois to Texas before Matthew was transferred back to Texas full-time. We wanted to make a really proactive decision. We knew that the transfer was coming, but it was difficult to tell family that we didn't want to, like, that we wanted to move. And that we weren't intending to live here. Mm-hmm. Again. So it was really kind of like our last hurrah in a way. And it was sad and it felt like there was, it was a closing of a chapter.

Mm-hmm.

Um, but I also realized that environment plays such a big role in who we believe that we are. And I really do feel like a lot of possibilities. I feel like my mind has been open to more possibilities. Post-move. And I think it was just hard for me to see through a lot of my own history and my own past in my hometown personally. So that was a hard, you know, those were hard conversations. They were emotional conversations. And I knew that we were in a way disappointing people, but I would rather disappoint people than disappoint myself.

Yes.

So that was a difficult decision. Honestly, the, the second question, what choice could you, what choice are you avoiding right now because it's hard? It's literally the same as you. It's like, I know where I wanna go and I know what it's gonna take to get there. The sacrifices, the work that it involves. I do feel like I am starting to make some small choices towards that now.

Mm-hmm.

Like I'm starting to take action more, which I love seeing me do that. But it's like, okay, being really clear on what we're working towards and when and why and how and like.

Mm-hmm.

Really mapping it out. I think that I have left a lot up to chance in some ways, and I'm ready to have a relationship with the unknown and also believe in myself enough to have a plan and then execute the plan. I think that like the relationship between planning and the unknown is really important.

Yeah.

And I'll either live so much in the unknown or I'll live so much in the planning and I'm ready to integrate the two. So I'm still open to what could come my way, but I'm also executing on a plan.

Yes.

And I've never really lived in that space before. So I'm excited to see like, what, what are we going to do? You know, like who are we going to become?

What's going to happen?

Like I'm, I feel a different kind of energy about this year. Um, and I'm ready to play in it.

Yes.

Like I'm ready to go dabble in it, but It is hard, and it's not an avoidance. It's more of like, am I ready yet? Am I ready yet? And I'm like, okay, I'm ready. Yes.

You're like, I have been ready for a while.

We've been waiting here for you for years.

Yes. Yes. That's incredible though, to just hear your growth journey from this past year, like what you unlocked and the sequence of events to what you unlocked whenever you had to transition from full-time entrepreneur to your full-time job and the skill set and the confidence that grew and all of that, to then the skill set and the confidence of transitioning that into your own personal life and being like, okay, now I choose this, we choose this, and moving in that direction even though those decisions are hard.

Yeah.

Like, good decisions aren't always just the happiest. Like, they— there, there comes a period of grieving. And like we were saying earlier, it's like you're a whole new person. It's been a whole— feels like it's been a whole year since you moved.

Really?

And yeah.

Do you feel like I've changed?

100%. 100%. Like, how do you feel like I've changed so much? I feel like if we were to go back every month, you could probably point out at least one thing that you grew through. And even having our podcast, because we launched a podcast right when you moved.

Yeah.

Yeah. So I have really been able to see the growth because we do these every week.

That's a good point, girl.

It's like you really have grown so much. I mean, in, in just your choices, in your discipline with your, um, wellness journey, in your financial journey. That's been huge. No Spend November. I mean, yeah, yeah, you would have told me last year you were doing that when we were getting nasty gal delivered to Miami hotels.

Like, literally, oh my gosh, thank you for calling that out. I think that we can get kind of heads down in our growth and we don't like look up sometimes to see how much we've changed. And same for you, like watching you step into CEO of your business and like you are not just a wedding photographer, and I've always seen that in you, but watching you see that has been really beautiful of like It's that relationship between the plan and the unknown. And I think a lot has unfolded for you this year that you didn't even expect.

Yeah.

And watching your work ethic, your intentionality, and the energy and creativity that you've brought to all of it, all while prioritizing your mental health, prioritizing your healing, your own wellness, a new relationship, friendships— like, being able to manage all of that is a lot, right? Like, you know, even if you're listening, like, we're all managing a lot of different things. And watching, like, you unlock new capacity this year was really inspiring to me. You make me better.

Oh, you made me emotional.

You make me a better person.

Thank you. And honestly, this kind of goes into the next question, which is, how did your environment impact your growth this year? And I would say for me, more than my physical environment, I feel like the people I've surrounded myself with have unlocked a lot for me this year. Like, you, Nicole, Jansen, like my closest friends are so locked into healing and growth and what's coming next and challenging me in a lot of areas and really helping me walk through a lot of decisions. Mm-hmm. That I would have ran away, even in like a new relationship. Like I was ready to run away immediately, like looking for the first thing, and my sister too. Like, and then whenever someone can call me out and be like, "Um, okay, is that really a thing, or are you just looking for the first thing to shut this down because it hurts too much?" You know, and just like in that in so many different areas, and being like, okay, challenging me in those questions. And so for me, my environment as far as my friend group has been everything this year. And at the same time, the environment that my job has taken me to in different cities and locations has made me more curious, more creative, helped me see that there's more possibility out there, has helped me snap out of the daily routine and be like, oh, some people live like this, some people live like that. Do I want to be a part of that?

Yeah.

And so now I'm stepping into 2023 with even more curiosity.

Mm-hmm.

That was sparked from those decisions. So yeah, I think more than like where I live right now, it's been the people.

Mm-hmm. I love that environment does play a really big role for sure. I remember everything you described is how I felt in Nashville. Mm-hmm. It's like just being locked into all of that and it was such a pivotal relationship environment for me.

Mm-hmm.

Um, I think this year how my environment impacted my growth was the move from, honestly, not even home, but a rural environment back to a city. I realized how much I draw on the energy of a city and the diversity, the access to a lot of different people, places, things. It does feel more filled with Curiosity and opportunity. I do think that there is something about being anonymous in a city that can make you feel lonely, but the flip side of that is it can kind of make you feel a little invincible.

Hmm.

It's like, you know what, no, no narrative or story or assumption. No one knows me, and also no one cares. Whereas whenever you're in a more rural small town and And I know this is a fact, so like, this isn't a generalization. Like, this has very much been my experience in a small town. People make assumptions. People have you locked in at who you were when you were 20, 22, 24. Like, whenever you're meeting new people, they get to meet where you are right now.

Yes.

And that feels freaking like, like unlimited, you know? So I feel like I've been able to step into my It anymore. I feel like my fashion has completely shifted. I feel a lot more— I've been like taking hip-hop dance cardio classes and like just really getting into my body confidence in a different way. But then also like just overcoming anxiety and joining a co-working space and going and working at that coffee shop and like really putting myself out there when I didn't have to do that in my hometown.

Yeah.

Right. So I think that's another thing that's like, it's refined and stretched me to get back out there.

Yeah. You know?

Yes. Uh, where after 2 years of not really having to do that.

I think that's something that's powerful and that I'm really leaning into is it's almost like the catalyst, right? What is those catalysts in our environment that can suddenly bring out that feminine side even more, that can suddenly bring out dancer Alexis out more? Like. We have all these things inside of us, and if we're able to kind of have a catalyst, the way that we respond to that will tell us so much about ourselves. Maybe you hate it, maybe you love it, right? And then you're able to make a decision moving forward. But if you never have a catalyst, you're just there.

Yeah.

And that can be very scary for life when you're just there all the time and everything's so consistent that you never get pushed into that growth of like meeting new people and How do you introduce yourself, right? And is that how you want to introduce yourself forever? What do you want that introduction to be like? Yeah, just like so many things that pop up, and I'm just incredibly proud of you. Thank you, I appreciate that.

I think I've been seeking out ways to— an environment has played a role in this. I just want to add this in really quickly before we go into the last question. So I've been listening to this book with Matthew called Never Finished by David Goggins, and he played a really big role in my health and fitness journey back in 2021. Okay, we listened to his first book, Can't Hurt Me, on our way to and from Colorado summer of 2021. And I get— I got home from that trip after listening to his book and I started meal prepping.

Oh my God, like, this is like the thing.

This is like literally the catalyst to my journey.

Wow.

And the whole book is about mental toughness and like he's a Navy SEAL and he did a, a really intense weight loss journey to be able to qualify for the SEALs and to even get into training. And so he was just— he, he had a really difficult childhood. He overcame physical abuse. I mean, it was— his story is incredible. And now he runs ultras, like ultra marathons. So he's doing 100, 150, 250-mile races. Okay. Gives me chills. So talk about like the physical and mental obstacles that you're constantly overcoming, the training, the practice. Like, so I know he's not for everyone. Um, I know like his tone and his approach is, is, is very harsh, and he'll even say that himself. I needed it when I needed it. And I feel like we listened to his book, um, on the way up from— on the way up from Texas to Illinois, and I'm already feeling that like mental toughness start to settle in that I need right now because I need it.

Mm-hmm.

And I am seeking an immense amount of challenges and friction this year.

Yeah.

Like, how am I ever going to stretch my mindset if I don't put myself in situations where I'm stressed?

Yes.

If I'm over here always seeking comfort, I'm not going to grow in the ways that I know I need to in order to get to where I want to go.

Yeah.

So I think that's where I'm kind of at this year is like really seeking out in a way discomfort.

Yes.

So that I can grow and be challenged. And I think moving to Texas, starting over in a lot of ways, um, has done that.

Yes. So that is so powerful. And thank you for sharing that. So I have been, um, starting to listen to him because of you and Nicole. Both of you—

I know.

Love him. And she, she's like, she listens to it right before going to a workout.

I, I think that would be very helpful.

Yeah. But I, it makes me think about when it comes to environment, I guess my immediate thought is into like, where do you live? But really, like, even thinking to that, like, a book— what are you listening to? What are you scrolling? And what— who are you listening to on TikTok and social media? And what's in your ear in your everyday environment? Because no matter where you're at physically, how can we shift that environment to then be someone speaking into your ear and coaching you and calling you out 100% to be your best potential, where you can snap out of that comfort zone and be like, no, dialed in, dialed in. I'm focused. I can do a lot more. I can do hard things. And that was something this year that changed me, was listening to those audios every morning when I went for a walk. I really feel like it helped me reframe a lot of my mindset, and I was able to accomplish a lot more. And when I feel off, I go back to listen to them and I'm like, all right, We can do this. We're dialed in. We're not lazy. We're not all of this stuff.

Yeah.

And it's just, it's just incredible, the environment, the, the role that we play in creating our own environment too.

Right. It's not just geographically, um, locate, like location. It's definitely, I love that you said about what you're consuming in the environment that you can control. What does that look like? 100%. I, we, I feel like we should do a whole episode just on environment. Yes. And like breaking that into different sections and how much that really does Like, how can you craft and build an environment that you find to be stretching, but also that you find to be healthy?

Yes.

Like creating a healthy environment.

So I love that. Which, that little side note, that's when hiring coaches is so essential.

Yeah.

I hired both you and Nicole this year. Changed my life, literally before and after. Thank you.

Both you girls are incredible.

And so I think being able to also put your finances towards that, but Let's table that for— yeah, a new podcast. We're fired up.

We're fired up. I'm here. Um, okay, I love how my hick, like, Illinoisan comes out. We're right here.

We're right here.

So last question, what was the biggest thing that held you back this year and why?

Maybe like softening a hard question with the accent. With the accent.

I want to do like almost a caveat, like Follow-up question to this: what was the biggest thing that held you back this year and why? And how, how do you not want that to play a role in the next year? You know, so like tying it to reflecting on 2022, but then also like what are you gonna do to make sure that it doesn't show up in 2023 as much?

It's a great point. I might not have an answer for the second part.

That's okay.

I think that what helped me Back the most this year was I had goals and I accomplished them, which I'm very happy and proud. And I had some bigger dreams and goals that really scared me and again tapped into that identity side of things. And I struggled to execute some of those bigger projects because of identity.

Hmm.

I was like, uh, there's already enough people doing this, blah, blah, blah, which is exactly what I tell any starting photographer. I'm like, there's a million photographers, there's no one else like you.

Mm-hmm.

No matter what.

Mm-hmm.

But I myself need to hear that into what I want to step into. And so I wouldn't change a thing about what's happened this year. I feel like I did tackle a lot, but I do recognize that there was certain things I wanted to do that I didn't step into fully that I for sure want to prioritize next year. And so what's the biggest thing that held me back? It was me.

Yeah.

And so, but then backtracking some of those other goals that I had that I did accomplish, I accomplished them because I hired coaches like you and Nicole who helped me really have these mind breakthroughs that I was like, okay, I can get through this. And so that tells me for next year, I need people around me. I need coaches, I need accountability. And that's how we're moving forward because you by yourself cannot do it, Astrid. And that's okay.

Yeah.

I think it takes a tribe, it takes people. And sometimes we hear self-made millionaires and self-made whatever. Really, there's no self-made, I think.

I agree.

I think there's a tribe and people who help you get to where you're at. And so, yeah, I think that's what it's going to require is for me to I want to be in that discomfort zone. And when I think about like NBA coaches, they look at how you're sleeping, what you're sleeping, like the bed, the mattress, how you're driving, your eating habits. Like they look at everything.

And you're watching game tape. You're reviewing your work. Yes. Like that's, that's vulnerable.

Yes.

Like I don't go back and, and watch, you know, live things I've done. Yeah. I'm just like, okay, it's out there. I was vulnerable enough to hit send. But it's like the strategy and execution of going back and actually being like, how can I do that better? That's hard. Yes.

And that's what I want. I want someone to look at my life and audit it and be like, all right, we're dialing in. Like you said, you were going to do this. Did you do it? Like, I don't right now in this stage of my life, I don't need the gray side as much. I need more of that tough side. I think that for a period when I was like Healing from intense trauma and all that stuff, I needed to be told, you don't have to be working so hard. You just need to focus on rest and healing and processing. I'm at a point in my life now where it's not that.

Yeah.

And that's great.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, so I, I'm excited for next year. Um, I think the fuel of like what I unlocked this year makes me so curious and excited for what could happen next year if I go all in into these habits and facing myself and getting a coach. So yes, I, uh, it's hard to look back and also exciting.

Yeah.

What about you?

Oh, that's good. I would also say me, and like a layer to that is that me by not trusting me. So thinking that someone else is going to have the answer, thinking that a coach, a course, a mastermind, a mentor, really seeking a lot of external input this past year. And I think that I sought that out too. Like I went out and I was like, tell me, you know? But what I realized is that I, at my core, it wasn't that it wasn't helpful. It was that I didn't put it into action. And so when you're just getting a lot of external input and you are not putting any of it into action, then it just piles on top of itself and you're like, well, what, what is the right direction? Do I believe this person or do I go here? Mm-hmm. Do I say yes to this or no to this? But, and it kind of in a way froze me into inaction. And so I think if you do hire a coach and you do ask for outside support, I really highly recommend limiting the pool of who is in the circle. Like really make, you know, it's maybe 2 or 3 people that are giving you guidance and input about decisions and directions that you're going in your life. Because when you open that up a lot larger, you start to kind of water down your own voice.

Yes.

And I think that this year, that's really, I was kind of finding it again and that The identity piece of, okay, well, am I a full-time entrepreneur? Am I even an entrepreneur? No, I'm, I'm a partnerships manager. I'm, I'm an expert in affiliate marketing and like feeling like my skillset was tied to my identity and like, oh, well, because I do this for a living, this is all I'll ever be good at. This is all people will ever see me as. So I think really overcoming a lot of those labels and that doesn't really freaking matter. And that— and this probably sounds really egotistical, but people are attracted to you and want to work with you because of the way you live your life and how they want you to help them live their life.

Yeah.

It's not always in the, you know, here are the 5 strategies to blah blah blah blah blah. Like, I think that's something I've been working on this year, is I want to be a reflection of what I believe.

Yeah.

I don't want To work with any co— any client or a coach who's not walking the talk.

Yeah.

And I think this year was me learning how to walk my own walk and actually trust myself, make decisions based on my values, be disciplined, actually put in the work. And that's what this last, like, honestly, 4, 5 months have been. But the first half of the year, it was really tough to get to that place. Um, and that's been something that I want to take into 2023 to round that out. It's like making sure that I am staying really clear on what it is that I want. Why do I want it? Why do I want that? And then why do I want that? Like going really deep into why I'm working towards what I'm working on, because I've noticed where the distrust comes in is I'm unclear on why I'm doing something.

Mm-hmm.

So then, then the action just feels like Are we doing this for performance? Like, why are we even— why are we up till 10 o'clock editing a TikTok video? Like, it's because we're building the muscle of being visible. We're building the muscle of editing. We're building the muscle of saying we're going to put out a piece of content every single day of 2023. We've got to start building that muscle right now in 2022.

Yes.

So like, that has been where I'm at, is like just trusting in myself not giving my choices away and kind of taking back, building up the discipline and the action piece.

Yes, that's so beautiful, especially in a time where information is at our fingertips and we can have information overload. And so we're like, okay, well, I— this person says I should have a morning routine, but then the other person says— like, one says I should wake up at 5, and then the other one tells me I should sleep till my body needs everything. So what's the answer?

What do I do?

Do I sleep? Do I not sleep?

Right, sleep at all.

And in that form, there's so many areas of our lives. So I love what you said of, hey, we can take in that information, but you need to first be clear about what you want. And ultimately, a coach is just going to help you get to where you want to go. So I think a step of that, which I'm sure is something that you'd like teach your clients, is you have to know what do you want, so then I can help you you in that journey. I am not deciding your life for you.

Right.

And a lot of times that's what people look for, especially when we've been like invalidated in our choices before.

Right.

And so it's interesting as you were sharing like how the first half of the year was so much breakthrough in your identity and your mindset. And then the last half of your year, it's been like habits and like all of these tangible actions. And that's exactly why we're talking about all of this towards the end of the year is before we can get to these goals of how many times you're going to post on social media or work out or et cetera. What's that identity factor? What's those things we have to work through mentally to then get there?

Right.

And, and you were sharing like the muscle of posting to social media, like even thinking back on your journey of Fitness for the past 18 months, you had to start with one habit a day, right? One meal prep a day or a week. And then that has built up in you that now you're carrying that into your workplace. And that's just so beautiful to hear and see. Yeah, you go through.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

It's—

it is giving yourself the space. Like you said, like, I, I am shifting out of a grace period too. Like, I'm ready to work. I'm ready to go work for what I want. And I have this new renewed sense of like, life is so short. You have one of them. What are you going to do with it? And it's not that, it's not that like mental health doesn't play a role. It's not that outside forces don't play a role. Like, it's not, you know, like death by goal setting.

Right.

You know, like I'm not trying to have an incredibly masculine or harsh view. But I think that where I'm at is I am ready to stop talking about it, dreaming about it, start doing it. And that's actually something like one of my intentions this year is to not talk about what I'm doing as much. Mm-hmm. And actually just, you, you only know that I'm doing it because it's, it's been published.

It's happening.

It's out.

Mm-hmm.

And I think that's another part of my personality type that's like, I'm getting information because I'm talking about, oh, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. And then getting people's reactions to it, it's like, that's not fuel enough anymore.

Yeah.

Like I've got to go do it on my own. And then they see it and they're like, that's great. I resonate. I'm like, awesome. But I don't need to like invite you into the process when it's still an ideation stage.

Yes.

You know? Yes. Not at that volume too, like too many people inputting. So anyways, that's just been a big lesson this year. I've really enjoyed this conversation.

So great.

I feel like I learned a lot.

Me too. I learned a lot from you and even just Going through these questions myself, just being able to reflect back—it's so intentional. I love our conversations every week. It helps me be a better person. Me too. Every single week.

Me too. I love you.

I love you. You're the bestest.

Um, I would love to hear if this episode resonated with you. I'll also drop these questions in the show notes so that you can screenshot them. You can journal through them. Maybe you could even talk through them with a. friend or a partner. And sometimes verbally processing and really discussing these things in person or over the phone can give you that space to kind of just be like, what do I really think? And what were my biggest, my hardest choices? And what held me back? Um, if you're a verbal processor versus someone that wants to write.

Mm-hmm.

But I'll, I'll have those in the show notes for you so that you can access them. And if you resonate with this show, we would love for you to tag us on Instagram or wherever you're listening. Um, and tag us @theinbetween.pod, or you can always reach out to me directly @alexisteichmiller, or me @astrajohannaphoto. We are so thankful. We cannot believe that there's 2 more episodes, um, till the end of 2022. It's been 6 months of the show, like over— I think we have like 500, uh, 5,500 downloads. Yes. Which is just so crazy to think That there are like, you're out there, you're listening, you know?

And we don't, we don't take that for granted.

We really try to have really thoughtful conversations on the pod. Mm-hmm. Um, that get you thinking that and also make you, um, feel supported. Mm-hmm. You know, like these journeys that we walk through are hard and they're fun and, you know, there's all these different layers to it, but we want you to know that like we're right in that with you. And we hope that by being transparent and by being vulnerable with you about where we're at in our own lives. It gives you permission to do the same with your own. You know, you're seeing 2 people who the outside world would see as successful be really honest about the hard things that we're going through on a daily basis. And so you never really know what's going on. And that's like the goal of the pod is to be transparent with you. And, you know, not— I'm not saying I'm, I'm successful, but I'm just saying like, I think that you can look at someone and you're like, they have it all together. We're all working on ourselves, so we appreciate you being here, and thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

It's the end of the day, and I'm like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

I am inspired. Honestly, David Goggins' content. David Goggins' content. Oh my gosh! I love it. No, just being like it's like energy osmosis with you in the room.

Oh, you're like I'm just feeding off of your energy. It just turns into um. One of those Huberman Lab 2-hour podcasts.

Oh, I love the Huberman Lab.

He, he just came out with a creativity one today.

Ooh, I cannot wait.

Everyone go listen after this one. I love it. I love it.

Thank you all for being here, and we'll catch you next week.