Auditing Your Life and Habits to Plan For The Best Year Yet

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between.

Hello friends, and welcome back Welcome to another episode of The In Between Podcast. This is one of your hosts, Astrid.

And the other half of the pod, Alexis. And today we're going to be talking about how to audit your life and your habits so that you can plan for the best year yet. I really, I love a life audit. Like if things start to feel a little off, I'm like, okay, let's audit. Let's look at what's going right, what's going wrong, what feels like misaligned. And it really helps give you clarity on the decisions that you want to make from this point forward. So also, if I sound a little different, it's because I'm sick. I'm sick. And if you get that Mean Girls reference, I love you. And if you don't, I love you. But yeah, I'm getting over a cold flu situation, which is why we are putting this podcast out a day later. Don't think we didn't notice. We did, uh, but I was in no shape to be recording the last couple of days. So we are still committed to getting this podcast out once a week, even if it's—

Absolutely. Absolutely. You're just in your sexy voice era this week, and that's perfectly fine. But yes, I am so excited for this topic. I think that something that people sometimes get wrong when it comes to goal setting is overall set new goals for the new year without reflecting back on Where actually are you? And sometimes I feel like it's borrowed goals. Like, so-and-so is doing this goal in their life, and so—

Yes.

You know what? I want to run a marathon too now, or now I want to do that. Instead of, okay, that's resonating. Why do I want to do that? Let me stop. Or, is that realistic if I haven't moved my body in a whole year for me to train for this now? Being able to realize what are some things that you should be doing for your own life. And auditing is a great step to start of just seeing where you are now to then create goals that are more personalized for your lifestyle.

I love that. I resonate with those borrowed goals for sure, 'cause there's something about them that are inspiring. But sometimes if we don't do a bit of investigating and we're curious about what about this is inspiring to me, it's not actually a good fit for our life. So while running a marathon is inspiring to me, Maybe I'll commit to a 10K again, or something like that that's actually more realistic for me to achieve. Okay. I'm really excited about today's chat. But before we dive in, give us a little weekend update. How have you been? What's new in your world?

Oh my gosh. I am just appreciating having a regular weekend of no shooting and no work. It's been really, really good for my mental health and just resting after such a big weekend. And so I actually took Friday off and we went to my stepdad's US citizenship ceremony. It was so sweet, so emotional. It was beautiful to witness all these people and just realize there was 20— or there was 60 people total, but 27 countries represented out of 60.

Wow.

It was just amazing to see the melting pot and wonder all of their stories and what it took to get where they're at. So yeah, it was a beautiful family moment. And then we went shopping afterwards, got a new little purse, which I'm so excited for.

Love it. She's beautiful, by the way.

Thank you. She's so cute. Um, yeah. And then Saturday we just had like wholesome day of going to get stuff, uh, like for face routine and like going shopping around town. And then Setting up Christmas and moving things around the house. And I continued— if you follow me on Instagram, the past 2 weeks I have been cleaning out my closet and cleaning out my life of things that I don't any longer use. And so this was phase 2, which I am just proud of myself that normally I feel like I have to do it all at once.

Right.

I'm just giving myself the room of like, okay, we're just going to tackle these 2 things. So it feels amazing. To get rid of all of that.

But you're inspiring me. I, I need to do that specifically to my kitchen and pantry.

Yes, that is coming.

Like, that's the area of my house where I'm the most like, like, I have not reorganized my kitchen, like shelves and drawers and all that, since we moved in a year and a half ago. And I'm like, okay, next January I'm gonna do another little reorg. Uh, sprint.

Yeah. Reorg. I love it. Yeah.

Also, I'm so happy for your stepdad. That is amazing. I know that's something that he has wanted and worked very, very hard for, for years. And congratulations to you and your family. That's amazing.

Oh, thank you so much. Tell me about your weekend. It looks so fun.

Yes. So Matthew and I went to Nashville for the weekend, a long extended weekend. We flew, we flew to Nashville Thursday night and came back on Monday and we were there for my best friend Jess's Shout out to Jess. Yeah, shout out to Jess. I know she wants to listen to the pod. Um, if you have been following me for a long time, you might know Jess from all of my travel blogging days, and she was my right-hand gal. We would travel all across the country, work with different brands, um, and she was like the creative art director, and I was somehow a model in all the photography, and I just, I look back on my 20s so fondly and the creativity I was able to tap into. And a lot of that I attribute to being in her proximity and being with her.

Oh.

And she's just such a sunshine, creative person. You've gotten to know her and become friends with her as well. So yeah, I got to see her get married to the love of her life, John. And it was such a special weekend. We had a PJ pours. and, um, panties night. So she, she ditched the like traditional— Jess is really non-traditional.

Yeah.

And like, she is a trendsetter. She's gonna go her own way. She's gonna do her own thing. And I love that about her. So she's like, yeah, I don't want a bachelorette party. I want like a sleepover, like night in with all my girls. And so that's what we did. We like, there was like 15 or 20 of us and each person Brought her a fun little panty, um, for the next chapter of her married life. And we all wore our PJs, and then we all brought different ingredients for cocktails. So it was—

Oh, love.

So much fun. And then we had her rehearsal dinner, um, at her photography studio, which was really cool. They converted her photography studio into a, like, small event space for the night. There was like 25 of us, and it was just It was so intimate. We all gave speeches and it was so special. And then the wedding on Sunday, it was lovely. And Matthew and I also were jamming out about being back in Nashville for the weekend, which was really fun. It's a place that we love so much and we feel very connected to. And also, you're going to find this so funny, one of the first things we did was we drove by my old house and we went to my old grocery store. I was like, nostalgia. We needed stuff for the cocktails. So Matt's like, do you want to go to your old Kroger? And I was like, oh no. He's like, no, let's do it. And he was so excited. Um, just brought back a lot of memories.

That's so cute.

It's been a long time since I've been there. Lived there for almost 5 years. And so just holds a lot of memories. And then I got sick. I woke up Monday morning after the wedding and I was like, doggin'. Hadn't had a really difficult, like body aches, chills, flu symptoms. I was like, all right. So we moved our flight up and We cut our trip a little short, but had a great weekend nonetheless. And I'm already like, okay, how do I get back there more? Just the creative energy is different than I feel like it is in Houston.

I will meet you there anytime that you want.

Yes.

Girl. Hop in my car, drive a little 4 hours, and I'm there.

Done.

Yeah.

We should go there and just cowork for the week, honestly. Find a cute little Airbnb, share a bed, and then just coffee shop hop. And set up meetings, set up podcast recordings. That would be so fun.

I would love that. That sounds incredible. Your weekend looked amazing. And Jess, I know that she listens to the podcast. Congratulations. You looked absolutely stunning.

Her dress.

Obsessed with her dress.

Dressy. And the red shoes, the red Christian Louboutin shoes.

Oh, I didn't see those.

They're stunning.

Oh, I love, I love, love, love. It was very classy. But yet modern and pull— she pulled it. Of course she did. Like, she has such beautiful and incredible style. Yeah. But even just from the stories that I saw, I was like, that truly looks like her dream day. And she was radiating. Like, her smile was so big. I love it. That makes me so, so happy.

Yes, it was a good weekend for sure. Love celebrating my friend's love. Um, so, um, at the beginning of every podcast we always do a little weekend update, but we also do a little in-between check-in because we believe you're always in between something. So what are you in between right now?

Hmm. Every time, every time it gets me.

Every single time. Every week it sneaks up on you and it's like, oh yeah, we do discuss this on the pod. Here we are.

It feels like, um, like your family meetings, you know, where it's like, you know, you're going to talk about certain things and then you just forget.

Yeah.

I am in between. I am wrapping up a lot of things at work. And also I'm in between going into my slower month and a half of work as far as shoots go. And so there's so many things throughout the year that I crave to do. And so I don't get to do that as much because I'm not home as much. And you may see all the travel and all the things and it's And I'm equally a homebody, and I'm in a season where I'm realizing how much I need to nurture the homebody side of me and give it time and space to just be.

Mm-hmm.

And so I am in between my very busy CEO, run a whole business, and my homebody self that wants to host dinner parties and have people over and bake and redecorate things and just really take care of my health. And so I'm in between those two. house. And so, yeah, just really listening to that side of me that's perking up and being able to say, okay, next year, how can I once a quarter make time and space for that side of me that is just as equally important as my driven and goal-setting side?

That's huge. Like, I, I don't think I've ever heard you quite say it that way before. So I hear you on like the desire for maybe a sense of consistency in terms of your environment.

Mm-hmm.

Where like, you know, you're, you're building that consistency, that routine at home, and then it's like, oh, you got to go on a trip, you got to have a wedding, like you have different photo shoots. And so it takes you out of that environment. And so I'm excited that you're going to have time at home over the next couple months to just be. And it's crazy that you say that phrase, just be, because that is one of Matthew and I's phrases, and it's something that we come back to a lot that's like very grounding. Yeah, where it's like, what I— what I— there's all these different things that I'm worried about, or goals or dreams, and like he'll kind of come back and like, okay, I think it's just— it's an opportunity for us to like just be in this moment, and we can worry about those things as they come. And so this is your just be season.

My just be. I am in between just being. What are you finding yourself in between this Um, hmm.

I am upset that I got sick, and I feel like there's a part of me that didn't have time for it. And it's kind of like this— well, obviously no one ever has time to be sick, but it's a very busy season right now for work for me, and I have a lot to wrap up in Q4 before Q1, and I think I'm in between this mindset of while my work is important, I also recognize that the vessel, me, I can't get the work done if I'm not well.

Right.

And so I can be frustrated, I can resent being sick, I can be mad that I'm operating at a lower capacity. And also like the work will get done and whatever doesn't get done will get done at some point. And just like allowing that to be the reality instead of being upset about what could have been or what is. It's like, this is where we are. Let's accept that. And we'll, you know, we'll get what we need to get done over the next couple of weeks and it'll all be okay. Instead of that like internal pressure of, oh my gosh, like, I don't know. I think that just doesn't help me if I'm already sick and I'm already not feeling well. The anxiety and pressure of not getting things done or not operating at my best, like that does not help me at all. So I'm just working through that, I guess, compassion for myself. So that's where I'm at right now.

I love that. That's so relatable. I think everyone that is very goal-oriented, when they find themselves in a season where things came up that you didn't expect and you have to drop work or push work back because of it, it can feel so frustrating and anxiety-inducing.

Yeah.

And so people from an outside perspective would be like, well, it'll all work out. But it's like internally you feel that pressure and you're like, what if it doesn't? What if the ball is dropped? What if it's dropped because of me? And being able to remind yourself like, actually, no, I am capable of taking a beat right now. And when I come back the next day or the next 2 days, I'll be able to focus. Like, I know I can get work done and push through and do all of that. But in that moment, it can feel Very frustrating. And I love that you brought this up because I think so many of us struggle with that, of giving ourselves compassion when you have so much to do. And it's frustrating. You get mad, you get frustrated. I, I become like mean when that happens. It's like outside of my control and I'm just so frustrated at it. It's like you should not be near me during that time. I'm so freaking pissed.

Don't call, don't text. Don't reach out. I'm like, she's having a mood and it's okay. I know we, we also drive to Illinois on Sunday, so I literally have like 3 and a half, 4 days to get so much done here in Houston before we're gone for 2 weeks. And I'm so happy that we decided to come home longer and be home for as long as we are in Illinois. And at the same time, it's like, wow, I have a lot of things I need to do.

Yeah.

But it'll all work out. Speaking of which, being home in Illinois, Astrid and I are planning a fun happy hour next week. Um, we'll post the details on Instagram, but if you're in the Southern Illinois area and you want to come have a mocktail or a cocktail or water, whatever your jam is, we're going to be getting together after work for just like a, like a casual girly pop hang. at a local wine shop. So I'm really excited to spend time with everyone.

Me too. Oh my gosh, please, if you're in Effingham or surrounding area, come and bring a friend, bring your partner, whoever. This is so casual. There's no structure to it. No agenda. No agenda besides just getting to know each other and really getting to know you. We get so many sweet DMs and texts and We just want to take the opportunity to meet as many as we can in person. So please, please join us. Yeah.

Next Thursday the 14th. Yes. From like 5:30 to 7:00, 6:00 to 7:30.

Double check the Instagram whenever we post it. Yep. Because times might change.

It will be next Thursday the 14th after work.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Just come whenever you can. Even if you get off work at 5:00, like we'll still be there later. Until the time that we say on Instagram.

Until the time that we say on Instagram.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, on that note, let's pivot over to our topic for today and talking about how to audit your life and your habits in this season as we start wrapping up 2023 and going into 2024, grounding yourself, taking some time to look at what happened this year in different categories and areas of your life. And so to start with, Alexis is a life coach and used to do a lot of life coaching as well, as well as business coaching now. But she's going to share a structure that she used to do and does with her clients. So we'll kick things off from there.

Yes. So if you are on your phone listening to the pod, don't look at this if you're driving. Okay. But if you Google Wheel of Life, A really helpful visual will pop up. It's a graphic. It is a wheel of the different categories of life. And whenever I am beginning working with a client, even on the business side, I'll ask them like, how are you really doing in these categories of your life? And I want you to rate them on a scale of 1 to 5. And 1 being, I'm not doing very good. Like, this is probably like this. I feel very detached from this area. I do not feel successful. I do not feel happy in this area. And then 5 being, I feel really aligned. This— I'm like nearly the best I've ever been in this area, and I feel really successful and proud of myself in this area. So those areas on the Wheel of Life are finances, health— and health includes movement, nutrition, mental health, and spiritual health. Feel free to break those out individually if you want to. But in this, in this scenario, we're just going to group them together. Relationships. So with your family and your friends, and then romantic relationships with your partner. This is actually if you're single, married, divorced, engaged, it doesn't matter. Where are you feeling right now in that category of your life? And then environment. So this is where you live. This is like your sense of, you know, your home, your organization, anything that's in your physical environment. How do you feel about that? Your career. So this could be whether you're a small business owner, you're a CEO, you are an employee, you're a stay-at-home mom. It does not matter. But that section of your career, how you spend your time working, how do you feel in that category of your life? And then the last one is adventure. So this could mean travel, this could mean weekend trips, this could mean date night, this could be trying a new hobby. This could literally mean any sense of adventure to you. How would you rate yourself in that category? And so when you rate yourself 1 through 5, this is also helpful for you to do by yourself, with a friend, with a partner, whatever you feel comfortable with. It'll really allow you to see the areas to focus on and what feels misaligned. Because when we actually put numbers to them and we actually start looking at them line by line, category by category, you can start seeing like, Oh, actually, now that you ask, my environment is amazing. I've worked so hard in 2023 to get my environment to a place I'm so proud of. But my sense of adventure, I rated it a 2. Why is that? And so giving yourself this rating scale gives you a frame of reference to use when you're auditing your life.

Yeah. I love that auditing system because As you audit your different areas of life and then give yourself a number on that category, then asking yourself, well, why is it that number? Is powerful because I have found at times too where sometimes I gave a category a lower number due to comparison rather than I actually didn't do very good in that.

Yeah.

So for example, finances, I might have been listening to a lot of podcasts on finances as an entrepreneur or like for yourself. And so I might feel like I'm behind, but in reality, based off of my lifestyle, based off of my year, based off my own situation, actually I did really good. Like I saved as much as I could. I still enjoyed and worked for like having money that I could spend on things that I enjoy. And so I think after rating yourself, asking yourself why that number is what it is can also tell you such great information on how you can move forward in that area.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. It's also not a tool for judgment. This is a tool for you to be really logical, look at the facts and the feelings, but also the facts of those areas of life. So I'm glad Astra brought up the comparison piece of like, what's true about this? Why do I really feel this way? And this gives you that like system to look at and say, okay, I'm feeling a 2 in my health or a 1, whatever the rating is. Okay. What aspect is it? My movement? Is it my nutrition? Is it my mental health? Is it my spiritual health? Well, actually it's my mental health. Okay. What habits then? This is where we shift into the habits piece. What habits are we doing right now that support our mental health? And what habits are we doing right now that do not support positive mental health? Okay, let's like write those out and get clarity on those. Because I think that's also when you can say, this is what's in my control. This is what's in my control to shift. And this is what I'm already doing. Like pat yourself on the back. You're already making progress in those areas versus when you are starting the new year, you're like, oh, I'm starting from zero.

Yeah.

And I think that's that like pressure of I've got to start everything from scratch. And our goal with this episode is to really encourage you of like, Look at the progress you've already made and then look for that incremental change that you can audit and assess to introduce a bit of change or a bit of evolution into the way you're taking care of your mental health. So you're not starting from zero. It's just like, I need to change these 2 things and I would be a 5.

Wow.

Okay. Now we know the 2 things we need to change. We're in control of changing it and we're not judging ourselves in the process.

Absolutely. Absolutely. I feel like having that number can dictate so many different areas that we can work on. And that's also why I like to dive in even deeper with each of the categories and be able to ask ourselves questions. And this is nothing structured on my end. I just feel like depending on the category, depending on the year, I'll ask myself certain questions, but diving into like specific categories that you mentioned earlier. Let's start with finances. So something that I like to do with finances—

Really quick, should we share our ratings for each of these categories?

Oh, I, I don't— I haven't done it yet. Have you done it?

No, but I'm saying like off the cuff right now.

Just off the cuff?

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.

Gut reaction. You can say no.

Yeah, that's, that's fine. Let's do it.

Because then you can do it and then you can ask the questions and then we can like process through together.

Okay, perfect.

This just came to me.

I love it. Well, we're doing it.

Okay, okay.

Live.

Live on the call.

Yes. So for example, we'll kick off with the category of finances. I would rate myself— hmm, I'll give myself a 7 in finances.

Oh, out of 10?

Out of 10.

Okay.

Yep. Um, I feel like this was the year where I got my savings at a really solid spot with my personal life and also with my business. And I really looked at my categories of spending. Um, what could make that better would probably be managing my miscellaneous spending a lot better. Like this year I spent a lot in Paris that I wish I would have spent in a different way, but probably still spend the same, but just spend in a different way. And there was just a lot of miscellaneous things. And something that I realized this year as far as my finances, and this is some of the questions part, is I like to think about what made me the most anxious when it came through, like with my money, what, what brought up those feelings. And also this kind of ties into other areas and adventure, but you have to spend money for those is Whenever I think about what are my favorite memories of the year, usually those are tied to a trip. And so I've realized that spending money on trips for me is an investment of how I like to live my life and how I can look back and say, this is exactly the life that I want to build.

Yeah.

And so that has freed me to not feel guilty about the amount of money that I do spend on travel, even for my own personal travel.

Preach. That Paris trip's coming back up.

Yes, it is.

Sorry for turning 30.

Um, go big or go home. It was more my shopping. It wasn't even the activities and things. It was just me like, this is so cute.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding.

Um, in finances, I would rate myself like between a 7 and an 8. So I would say a 7.5. On the business side, I cut my expenses significantly. Like Matthew and I were looking at Deeper Life LLC. We were looking at my revenue and my expenses and then my gross for the last couple of years. And this past year I cut my expenses like way down. Like I was so impressed by my ability to cut. And know where I wanted to invest and know where I wanted to hold. So that was a big like growth mindset for me. The other piece too is raising my prices in my business helped me feel more financially secure and like helped the business feel more sustainable as well. Whereas in the past, like I just didn't feel like I'm like, okay, is this going to become something? It's difficult to feel like you're making progress on the business side if you don't see See more money necessarily coming in. So that was another big shift this year. And then I would say personally between Matthew and I, we we divvy up our finances. Seventy percent goes into the of our month of our of our paycheck. Seventy percent goes into the family account, and thirty percent goes into our personal account for personal expenses. So trips, clothes, whatever we want. I have saved more money this year in my personal account than I have ever saved in my entire life. I'm so proud.

Insert round of applause for you. I'm so—

I look at my bank account more now than I ever have, and I'm so proud of the amount that's in there. And also, Matthew and I have worked to have that 6 months of savings for, you know, God forbid, an emergency. And so we are working together more as a team in our finances. And I am also taking responsibility for my spending habits because that used to be very anxious of like, oh, I have a thing coming up, an event. Let me shop a lot. And then I will not return things or I'll overshop or I won't just buy like, hey, I am going to this black tie wedding in London. I genuinely don't have a black tie dress. So I'm going to buy something, but I'm not going to buy 4 dresses and keep them all. So that's where my shopping and my relationship with money has shifted. And I'm really proud of that. So I would give a 7.5 this year. Last year, I don't know, girl, maybe a 4.

We're on the come up.

It's almost double.

It's on the come up. I am so, so freaking proud of you. That's amazing. Also, yes, I love doing this on the pod live with our own lives. This is So fun. Yeah. Um, okay, next up in our categories, we've got friendships. And so with friendships, this is an interesting one for me, honestly.

Does this include family too? Like relationships, friends and family?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, with family. So friends and family, I would give myself a 4, unfortunately. Um, I think some relationships I have been able to spend the time and take deeper, and it's been really wonderful. There was also a lot of relationships that there was breakthrough and healing and got closer and all that good stuff. But overall, I feel like my lifestyle just is honestly just really hard to balance whenever I am home to spend that time with friends. to text everyone back, to call everyone, to just plan all the things. Because when I'm home, I'm so exhausted.

Mm-hmm.

And so I feel like there's a lot of friends that whenever I've traveled, that's where we've gone deeper. And so it's almost like if you're a friend that we haven't traveled much together, it kind of falls on the back burner, and that's not fair. So that's actually something that I want to work on more next year. And a question I would invite here is like, what kind of friend do you want to be? What kind of, uh, sister, daughter, et cetera, do you want to be? And based off of your relationships, like, are you there or what could you do that is better? That is also realistic based on your lifestyle. Like, I know I won't be able to host my family every Sunday for, you know, like, because it just doesn't support my lifestyle. But maybe I can have a goal of once a quarter I host them, and that feels digestible. And having something written out feels like if it's— I'm a goal girl, like I have goals, I'm able to fulfill that. Same thing with maybe blocking out a day or a Sunday where I touch base with like long-distance friends. I have a lot of really close long-distance friends, and a lot of them have had babies or about to. And I just want to be more present in their lives. And I think that in certain months of the year, my business just took over and it was my baby. And I just don't ever want it to be that way. Um, so yeah, there's my very candid, uh, version of that. Not to say that I haven't deepened other friendships, but overall I would give myself a 4, and that's an area I want to grow more in for the new year.

Thanks for being honest. I feel— I know that's something that you have said here and there has bothered you, but I don't think I've heard all that in one, like, in one sitting. And I just want to say that you are a good friend. You are present when you're present, and I think that, that, that, that does count for something. Um, but I also hear you in the growth that you want to have too.

Thank you.

In relationships with family and friends, I would put myself at like a 7. My relationship with my family, specifically my parents and my brother, is arguably the best it's been in a decade. And that is after a lot of growth and healing and forgiveness. And allowing each other to evolve. I think a lot of times with family, you keep each other where you were once hurt by each other. And so, then now you've grown, but they're seeing you as if you're 20 still and you're 30. And so, we've done so much growing this year. I talk to my mom daily, daily. My mom and I did not have That relationship. And I'm just thankful for the ways that her and I have grown together, as well as my dad and my brother too. On the friendship side, I do feel like there's been a mental shift for me of like, I don't know how to explain it yet. And I'm still in the midst of this. So this is going to be messy. I am so glad and thankful for the relationships I've built in Houston. I also think that I have felt a sense of, I don't know, maybe a bit of loneliness this year in terms of maybe this is the first time I've really felt like everyone's off really doing their own thing.

Hmm.

And with that, it's like they're busy, you're busy, you're trying to meet up and have this cosmic magical catch-up. That's going to hold you over until the next time that you see each other. And that's been really hard for me to swallow because I have always looked at my friendships as if they were family because my relationship with my family was strained for a very long time. And now that my family has that different— I have a different relationship with them now. I still crave that with my friendships. And it's like everyone's doing their own thing. And I don't know if— I know I'm 30 and I should know this by now, but damn, it's hard. And I live far away from all of my close friends besides the very few, the 2 girls I have here in Houston, 3 girls here in Houston. So yeah, I would say like a 7, 6 or 7 on that.

Thank you for sharing that. I feel like there's so many aspects to relationships and How we can rate them too. I love this insight of both my side and yours to be like, here's all the different components of it. And it's messy and it's hard and it's complicated. And part of that too is we're all growing and evolving and everyone has their own thing going on and family has their own thing going on. And so we factor that into how we rate ourselves based off of how it used to be. And how we want it to be and where we're actually at right now.

Yeah.

And it can be really hard, really, really hard. And it, it's hard to also not live in a scarcity mindset of like, well, I don't see you often, so now like we're together, we're maximizing this time, like no sleep.

There's so much pressure.

There's so much pressure. Yes, there is so much pressure. And so being able to say, what do I want to do about this? And it's hard when you're long distance. And I relate because most of my friends are long distance too.

Yeah.

Okay, our next category is romantic. And I want to invite you all to really think through this section. Say if you're single, maybe think about what score would you give yourself? Not perhaps like if did you end up in a relationship, but if you want to be in a relationship, Did you put yourself out there? Did you make a genuine effort to date and meet new people and go to certain events where you might meet someone? Then I feel like that is worth honoring and that's successful in putting yourself out there. And then if you're in a relationship, of course, we're going to be sharing our perspectives from dating life on my side and yours in marriage. But just because you might not be in a relationship, don't skip through this section. I feel like that's still very Worth noting, worth to note for you.

Yeah.

Um, so yeah, romantic. Oh, I would give myself— hmm, honestly, I'd give myself a 10.

Let's go!

I would.

I'm obsessed with that rating. Obsessed with that rating.

I would give myself a 10. I feel like I've navigated so much within my relationship this year that had a lot to do with being in a new relationship, also with healing sides of myself. And I just feel like I did such a great job in navigating those conversations and communicating my feelings and being like, this is the kind of relationship that I want. Like, do you want to build that with me or is this not aligned with you? And just being very straightforward with that area of my life and not compromising and just being like, This is what I want. And so let's move forward actually propelled our relationship exactly to where it needed to be. And it's just been beautiful to see it evolve. But it definitely came with having to put in a lot of work, having to put in a lot of communication and understanding. And yeah, I don't know. It's like there's so much complexity there and I just love it. I feel so happy to end the year in a relationship where I feel loved, safe, supported, independent. I feel like we've both grown so much this year just as people, and I can't think of a better way to navigate this area than that way. It's not codependent. It's not what I've known before. So, yeah, 10 out of 10 for effort.

I love that. I am so happy for you. I love Seeing you give yourself that rating too. Thank you. Um, was there a question attached to that? I forget.

So it was mostly like for, um, our single audience, I would say. So questions. Yeah, thank you for reminding me. Questions as far as romantic relationship that I would invite you all to think through is like, how did you feel in your relationship this past year? What was the hardest part of your relationship? What were The best parts of your relationship this past year, like really reflecting on all those little things that you're able to say, okay, this is why it's that rating overall.

Yeah. Okay, I would give us an 8.5 this year. I feel like we, we communicated. This is our first year living together full-time ever, so I would give us an 8.5. The reason why is I, I feel like our communication has only deepened. The trust has deepened. The transparency and how we're feeling has deepened. I feel like we pick up on each other's energy like we never have before. Um, I also feel like we're really seeing into each other's goals and into each other's dreams, and we're getting into the nitty-gritty. The only aspect that I feel like we have area to grow in or room to grow in is I still feel like there are aspects of us that want to do really challenging things. And we also love to like vibe and chill out. And because of that, sometimes we don't hold each other accountable in the ways I know we're capable of.

Hmm.

And I think that happened A decent amount this year. So I would say next year it's like looking for ways we can be more intentionally like holding each other accountable more consistently too. Not like every so often, but it's like if he asks me to hold him accountable weekly, then I'm then responsible for actually upholding that. And same for him. Um, whereas I feel like if one of us is in kind of like, we've been really busy, we're really tired, we just kind of want to veg. Then like the other person will be like, okay, yeah, let's just like, just, just like read in bed, or let's just like watch a movie together.

Get takeout.

Or get takeout. Yeah. And like, I love that, and I don't ever want that to necessarily go away, but it's looking at the frequency of it. I feel like we have some room to grow in that area, and that's okay.

Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love the transparency. And I think that can come a lot whenever your partner is your best friend. Yeah. And we like, at least for us, we call them best friend days where it's like Everything just goes out the window and you're just like, ah, you're just la-di-la. Like, let's go over here, let's get some Starbucks and drive around and just like get takeout. And sometimes the best friend days can overpower, um, you know, you have a long-term relationship with someone who is choosing certain goals for their life and holding them accountable to that. So yeah, that is very real, very relatable.

For sure.

Um, our next category is career. So, okay, I love this category because I— we all spend so much time in our career every single week. And I think the emotions that came up for each one of us as we say rate your career, I think is also important to know. Like, do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel stressed? Do you feel excited? Do you feel, um, neutral, peaceful? Like, all of those things are important to note because Your career will impact your personal life. And so as far as career, I would rate myself, hmm, I would say, I would say an 8. I feel like this year I tried a lot of new things in my career. I went all in. I wasn't afraid to mess up. And things that might have not worked out. And I've always wanted to be that person. I'm so risk-averse that I've had to train myself really hard to just take the risk and don't overthink it. Do it well, but don't overthink it. And so I feel like I got really organized in my business. I launched new things that worked out really well. I was very intentional with it. And I feel like I overcame some really hard challenges to in a graceful way, even though at the time it didn't feel like it. So yeah, I feel so happy. I feel so grateful to be where I'm at. I feel fulfilled and I have these bigger goals and could I be doing more? Yes. And I feel very fulfilled where I'm at right now. And that is such a gift. that I don't take for granted and just being able to do what I love every day and be in the creative zone. So that's what I would rate myself. And yeah, as far as questions like, how do you feel when this comes up? I wouldn't give myself a 10 because I do feel like my career did take over some of my personal wants and wishes this year, and I wish I would have balanced that off a little bit more. So think through What are some areas of your career, say, quote unquote, work-life balance, or what are some things that stressed you out? Was it finances? Was it goal setting? Was it shifting zones? Maybe you now like marketing instead of being on the finance side, just different areas that you can think through there.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm so proud of you this year, watching you Make tough decisions, grow, expand. It was really cool watching you thrive in your career this year.

Thank you.

I would say I would give myself a 6.5 or a 7. For context, I probably would've given myself a 3 last year. I was feeling really, really low in my future of my career and on the professional side. In the SaaS tech space, as well as in my personal business as a coach. So I feel like I did a lot this year focusing on ways to grow my skill set, ways to level up my professionalism, my expertise. I will say the reason I would give myself like a 6.57, even though that's greater than last year, I still feel like there's more. I want to do, and I don't feel while I feel fulfilled as a coach, and I have I have attracted the best clients. Like I genuinely love my coaching clients and love serving them, and also love the work I get to do at Circle. I still feel like there's like I don't know not something missing necessarily, but just something doesn't. feel there's like a gap. There's a gap. And in 2024, I want to figure out how to fill it. And so I'm ready for the new year. I'm ready to not one, be sick and have energy again.

Yes.

But I'm like really ready to sit down and like map out what that looks like. I have, have had a couple ideas over the last couple of weeks that have kind of surfaced to me that I'm like, why not? You know? And I think that I have taken myself so seriously. for so long. And I think I'm ready to just kind of throw a lot of that out the window and just say like, are we ready to have fun or what?

Yeah.

Like, are we ready to look stupid? Are we ready to look silly? Are we ready to try things and experiment or what? Because like being so serious and taking everything like, like, I don't know, I treat everything as if it's the thing. I, while that's great and I think it's helpful for quality of work, I also don't feel like it helps you take risks. So I'm working on that. And I would say that's the area that I would say probably maybe the lowest rating for this year.

Yeah. Thank you for the honesty and so real on that. I feel like I will always be recovering on the side of wanting— taking things too seriously and also just putting all the pressure on stuff every single time. That's where my brain goes. And working through that is challenging. Um, actually, as you were sharing, I was thinking of a few different areas too of career, even for me, of goals that I have. And if it might help our audience is like, think about your work week and like if there's anything that you wish was different, if there's anything that you wish you could try more, like 4-day work weeks or longer days or longer weekends, or you want to automate more so you can have more time in your side of things, you want to hire a coach, like What are some things that are stressing you out and eating you alive when you think about those seasons of work? And what would your absolute best work week look like? And that can also help with that. Um, so nearing our end of the episode, we're going to have 3 left, right?

We have adventure, environment, and health.

Oh yes. Sorry. I, I had completely taken out environment. I forgot about that one. Yes, half or more than halfway there. But next up is health and wellness and spirituality. So, um, this area is so near and dear to my heart, and I feel like in other years I would have ranked much higher. And I feel like this year, this is a category that I land the lowest in. Um, I think there was so many life changes for me that emotionally I've realized how much I will default to sacrificing myself, which is not good, and sacrificing my nutrition, my sleep to achieve a certain goal or to just reward myself with food instead of other things. Or, okay, I achieved this thing. Let's go to this really nice restaurant and just throws everything out the window. And yeah, I feel like I got really, really solid with my health and wellness the past few years. This year it wasn't the greatest, and I've in the past 3 months started to go back to some of those habits. So I'm hopeful and I've taken steps like hiring a personal trainer and I've been meal prepping for about 6 weeks now. But things to think about here are Your morning or your nighttime routine, your nutrition, the movement that you have, doctor's appointments that you might be putting off, blood work that you might be putting off, and also just general curiosity and learning about your health. As we get older, maybe if you're a woman, you want to learn more about your hormones, or you want to learn about life in your late 20s or early 30s and how your body works. Being able to expand on that. So some things to think through are what were some of those habits like as far as this year goes overall? It's never going to be perfect. How do you feel in your body? Like, do you feel healthy? Do you feel nourished? Do you feel like you break a sweat and you feel like your cardio's up there and like you feel like healthy? How do you like feel like you know your body as far as your cues? If you're a woman, how do you move through your cycle? What do you need to support your cycle? All those good things are things to consider. And so yeah, overall rating for me, probably give myself a 5. Yeah, it wasn't terrible, but definitely not the best.

I honestly, I feel the same. I feel like the last—

I'm surprised.

Really?

Yeah, I feel like that would have been your highest. You'd be like a solid 10.

I think it's because the last— the first half of the year, I would have given myself a 10. The last part of this year, the last half really, while I was able to keep up with my movement routine and like my meal prepping— I'm still meal prepping every week, um, Matthew and I are— and I do— I also feel like my mental health has been really stable. I've had some lows this year, but overall this year, even compared to the last 5 years, like, has been the most stable and healthy that I've felt mentally. I will say that I've become a little bit bored with my movement routine, and I'm trying to figure out like how to reinvigorate, re-energize myself in that. I don't know if it's setting a different goal Like, I don't know if it's going back to running. I don't know what it is, but I have been feeling this like itch. And I also decreased my number of movements from 5 to 4, and one of those being like a long walk and the other 3 being weightlifting. And I was weightlifting 5 times a week, and I do feel better because I, I honestly feel like I was like so— I was overlifting and I was feeling very inflamed and I was lifting through my cycle. And I just like, I was tired and sore all the time. And I'm like, I don't really feel like this is how I'm supposed to feel either. Like, am I overdoing it for me, for myself? So I would give myself a 6. I'm proud of myself for the work that I have done. And I am proud of myself for staying on track. I also feel like there's room for me to explore and to push myself in different areas. Um, so yeah, I'm curious to see what that'll look like for 2024, but it is an area that I want to set some very specific goals for in Q1 and like stick to them and like actually feel happy about my movement routine. Because I feel like the last couple of months I've kind of been like shifting into that mindset of like, ugh, and I haven't felt like that in years.

Mm-hmm.

And so I'm like, okay, I want to pay attention to why I feel like that and what can I experiment with to get out of that mindset.

Yeah, I feel that. That's why I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna hire a personal trainer to shift me out of this. I just— I've— same. I just felt stuck in a loop and I wasn't excited like I was anymore. And sometimes you just have to try a million things until you find the thing that in that season of life you're excited for. And it's gonna change again, which just sucks, but it happens. Agreed.

Agreed.

Um, okay, I love this next one. We are going to talk about adventure. And so rate yourself. How you felt in the adventure category. And it doesn't have to involve travel, though it can. This is just more outside of your routine, your career, your relationships. Did you try something new? Did you do a hobby? Did you try go to a class? Did you paint, draw, dive into learning more about history if that's something that you're into? What does that look like? What does adventure look like To you. And so as far as adventure, I'd probably give myself a 7. Um, I would have never thought that I would have moved to a city for a month and just like pack everything up and all the exhaustion that that brought of like packing everything up, moving, living somewhere else, driving back up. Like it was just kind of chaotic, but I loved it and it felt so great. And it filled that cup up of adventure as well as going to Europe for the first time for your 30th. That was so fun, so outside of my normal travel. And I wouldn't rate it super high just because even though I moved more in that category, I feel like there was other things in more of a smaller scale that I wish I would've done more. Like painted more or done more like arts and crafts around my house. Like, I love that. I love that stuff so freaking much, and I didn't make time for it. So I want to do more of that adventure. So some things to think through here are, what are some hobbies that you used to love that maybe you haven't done in a while? What are some things that you've seen online that you've been wanting to try? Maybe it's just like a cooking class or an art class or whatever it might be. And what are some things or places you want to explore? Maybe it's a new city, maybe it's a new hiking trail, maybe it's new coffee shops. You love coffee, you just want to go around and try new things. What are some things that just make you feel so excited to try?

Oh, I love this one. This is my favorite. I feel like I— and I'm glad that you mentioned this earlier because there is an aspect of adventure That does require a financial investment of some sort, even hobbies, even trying new restaurants, new coffee shops, like travel. And I do, I feel like Matthew and I have aligned on that of like, okay, what is our, what is our budget? What is our goal? How many trips do we want to take a year? And what level of that trip is it? Is it like a T1, T2, T3? So T1 being we are balling out. T2 being like, oh, you know, we're gonna like, we're gonna splurge in this area, but we're gonna conserve in this area. And then T3 being like, we are Frugal McDougall and we are reeling it in for this trip.

We're packing the sandwiches.

Exactly. Exactly. I live in T1 area where I'm like, we're balling out all the time. Matthew lives in T3 area, which he's like Frugal McDougall. So we're constantly meeting in the middle. But I do feel like this year I would give myself an 8 on adventure. Prioritizing my 30th birthday, that trip was very energizing to me and I loved every little moment about it. The other aspect of this year was really exploring Houston with Matthew.

Yeah.

And so getting out, we have a list of restaurants we want to try. And so we've been ticking those off week by week, month by month, and that's been really cool. And now just exploring and driving in different areas of Houston because of the restaurants that we've tried in different areas. I have familiarized myself with the city in a new way, which has been really cool. Whereas before, if we were just to stay, you know, in our little pocket, we wouldn't have been able to explore different neighborhoods of the city. And that's been really fun. I will say that I do wish that I had another Europe summer. Like last summer, like there was just something about that summer that just was unreal to me. And I feel like it turned over this— like I rode off the energy of that summer for a long time after. But—

So you're saying it's an investment?

It's an investment, yeah. But I would give myself an 8. I love that. I think the last one is environment.

It is, yes. I think when it comes to environment, something to think through is like how you feel every day in your space? Whenever you show up, do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel exhausted? And then past the feeling side, like, how well did you do with overall keeping up your place tidy, overall keeping up with chores? All those things impact us in our mental health and our environment a lot, as well as your overall environment of the people you allow into your space, the energy that they might carry, setting boundaries Be able to just create a very peaceful, exciting environment. And the city or town that you live in, like, how do you feel there? How does that impact who you are as a person? Do you feel like it resonates? Do you feel like it doesn't? And so in this category, this one's complex. Yeah. So I think I would probably give myself a 7 just because I could have been more tidy in my house, but also my overall environment of my I would give myself an 8.

I feel like we've kept our house tidy. There are still rooms, AKA my office, that I need to decorate, but that is on my January to-do list. And also just piece by piece curating our house to a place that feels really peaceful. I think that when you move to a new place or buy a home or a new apartment, you feel this desire to like, I got to go out here and I have to buy everything at once, and it's very expensive. We've been very, very intentional piece by piece of what we put in our house. And I'm really thankful for that. And I look at it and I'm like, okay, I like everything here versus impulse buying through things. And that has really helped me. So yeah, I would say an 8. And I'm really liking Houston. I like being in the city. So yeah, I would give myself an 8 this year. I love it.

This was such a fun episode. I hope that you all enjoyed listening to it, that this has motivated you to to do your own life audit, to rate yourself in these categories. And if you do, please message us and connect with us on our podcast, uh, or on Instagram @inbetween.pod. You can always connect with me @astrajohannaphoto.

Or me @alexistechmiller. And again, if you're in Effingham next Thursday the 14th, let us know. Would love to have a happy hour with you. And we will catch you next week. Bye.