Creating Hobbies That Bring More Joy to Your Life

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. This is one of your co-hosts, Astrid.

And the other half, Alexis.

And today is a new month. We're starting a new theme and we are talking all about creating your dream life outside of your 9 to 5. I am so excited for this new series.

I am too. I feel like last month we really deep dive into career, career development, whether you're an entrepreneur or you're wanting to pivot in your 9 to 5. And I'm excited that this topic is like, okay, we've talked about all of our ambitions as career women or entrepreneurs. Now let's like, how do we find joy outside of that? Because I think when you are ambitious or driven, or sometimes you're just like focused on doing a good job, maybe you're in the grind, you're like trying to earn income, you can sometimes get really fixated on your career growth and you're not necessarily looking at like, okay, how do I want to grow my I'm pumped.

I also feel like on my end where, because I love what I do so much, it's like I get that satisfaction that maybe people would get out of hobbies. Like, to me, business is a hobby. I could happily play a game where you're like, okay, you've got this product and you've got this thing. Now what would the business be? Like, play that. I literally play that with my nieces and nephews, or with my nephews. Um, and so it can be hard for me to not feel like I'm working. me to sometimes create that separation and be like, okay, just because I love what I do and that brings me so much joy and excitement doesn't mean that we don't need to like put a stop on that and then go work and build other hobbies and other things that aren't quote unquote productive, but they are very productive in like my mental health and building relationships and just overall having a fulfilling life. And so yeah, I've been really working on that since I went full time and it's been a process, but also really fun too. create.

Yeah, I'm excited to dig in. So today we're going to be talking about how to build and cultivate hobbies and exploring interests. So then we'll be talking about how to romanticize your life and then different routines outside of work. So social routines, morning and evening routines, movement routines, like just all of the rhythms that help us kind of weave the threads between our personal life and our professional life. So today we're going to be going really deep into hobbies and exploring interests. And I'm excited because I think there's something about spending time with yourself long enough to know what kind of hobby you want to create. And I think that requires a level of curiosity, a level of inner child. You're kind of tapping into what can I do just for fun? What's going to bring me joy outside of work or outside of these very rigid routines sometimes. So yeah, I'm looking forward to going into that. But first, let's do a little life update. I feel like you've been kind of settled back in from such a whirlwind of travel. I just got back from New York. You go first. What's up in your world?

Yeah, not as much movement as it has been the past 3 months, but it's been really great to be home. I feel like I'm in my The first 2 to 3 months were very much an idea, in a creation type of stage. And now I'm in my execution stage. And so there's a lot of things in my business that I'm executing, that I'm creating, that I'm pivoting, even in my own personal life. And so there hasn't been as much externally that I've done. But yeah, it's a lot of things I'm not— I can't share it just yet, so I'm just leaving it like—

Come on. We hate people like you.

Oh, is that right?

I have this really exciting thing, but I can't tell you about it.

Okay.

No, we respect the space. We respect the boundaries.

Thank you. Thank you. No, but yeah, it's been really good. And this past weekend, I double dated with our friend Riley and Becca. So if they're listening, shout out to them. It was so fun, very chill. And I think a lot of times when you have friends that happen because of business, you can get kind of stuck into that world of, okay, I see you when we do business and we catch up and we text all the time, but making that intentional time to hang out can be hard. And so, yeah, so it was really great. Um, I think that kind of aligns with our topic today actually of, okay, outside of all of our businesses, because most of us are entrepreneurs. Um, let's just hang out as friends and actually do things together. So that was very life-giving and probably the highlight of my weekend.

Oh yay, I love that.

Yeah.

Um, Riley inspires me so much, like just being around his energy. Like, I don't even know if he realizes that, but I also know that he's listening because he helps us with our video work for the pod. So I love you. And yeah, I think being around him is like being a magnet, and I think he like He invites you with his energy, not even verbally. He just invites you to be thinking bigger and executing on your ideas. And yeah, I just, I love him. Okay. So we went to New York.

Yes. Tell us everything.

Yeah. It was so much fun. We went to celebrate Matthew and I's 30th birthday. He turned 30 mid-March and I turned 30 at the end of April. And I mean, everyone that listens to the pod knows I'm going— that you and I and my other 2 girlfriends, Kate and Jess, are going to Paris to celebrate not just me turning 30, but I just wanted feminine energy and a girls trip to celebrate. So I'm so excited. But Matthew and I also wanted to do something and we were trying to narrow down where we wanted to go. But yeah, we landed on New York and he'd never been, which blows my mind because he's very well traveled, but just never has gone to New York.

Mm-hmm.

We went, we had so much fun. We shopped, we ate, we got to see some friends while we were there. Not as many as I would've liked, but also it's like I wanted time with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we walked everywhere.

I saw that.

If you're familiar with Manhattan, we stayed in SoHo. We walked from SoHo down to Battery Park, which is like the tip of Manhattan, because he's like, I want to lay eyes on the Statue of Liberty. I was like, done. And then the next day we walked from SoHo SoHo all the way up to Central Park, which was like 50 blocks.

No kidding.

That was insane. Almost every single day I was in between 19,000 and 20,000 steps for the day. And we brought workout clothes and everything. We're like, oh, we're going to work out. We're like, oh, we're going to go on a run. No, we just walked everywhere.

Yeah.

And we were sore. We were achy.

I'm sure. I mean, even just getting 10K a day is a lot.

I agree.

For people that do it every day. So I can't imagine 20.

Girl, I'm not even putting my health app on my iPhone. You can just see it go boop, back down to under 1,000 some days. And Matthew's like, well, that's whenever you're at the house and you're not always carrying your phone. So you're not always getting all of your steps. And I was like, yeah, but still.

Okay, make that 2,000.

Yeah, make it like, I don't know, 1,500 or something. No, we had so much fun. It was really good to see him experience the city. We just are always exploring different versions of our life. And I kind of talked about this on the pod whenever I was in Europe. I think I cried about it. I was like, I just have all these versions of me and one version of me lives in Portugal. And Matthew and I were like, yeah, there's definitely a version of us that lives in Manhattan.

I love that that's something that you both agree on.

Yeah. Yeah. It was really cool. We both talked about alternate realities and alternate versions of ourselves and listing out where we could see ourselves. And I love that we do that because I think it helps us realize that we are never stuck and we never have to just stay where we are because that's where we are. We're always curious about being in an environment or pushing ourselves or challenging ourselves with skills or new cities. And I really love that he and I are on the same page in that. So shout out to him. Love you, Matt.

Yes.

Had a great time with you.

What would you say is the highlight of your trip?

Highlight of our trip. I think it was literally just holding hands and walking through the city and just talking. We talked about everything. We made comments on what we saw. Or like, he— Matthew's a finance guy, super into like stocks and day trading and all that. So he's like, I want to go see the New York Stock Exchange building. I was like, done, sure. Never been, loved it. Um, and I also think like I've been to New York a decent amount and I still got to experience new things. Like I still got to see—

Yeah.

Parts and things I'd never done before. And that was just so much fun. So yeah, just like Holding hands, walking and talking around the city was definitely probably the highlight of the trip. That and my trip to Aritzia.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Every time. I can do that anywhere. But no, it felt different because we were shopping together and he was trying on clothes and I was trying on clothes and we were hyping each other. I love the hype when you come out of the dressing room.

Yes.

Whether you're with a girlfriend or you're with your partner and you're engaged, you're locked in.

Yeah.

You look amazing. Or they're like, I don't know, try a different top.

I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I want a collaborative experience when I'm shopping. And so we definitely gave that to each other on this trip.

That's so fun. Your tan outfits together, I was like, I want to teletransport myself there and do a mini shoot of both of you.

Girl, me too. I wish that you could have been there. I used the app LensBuddy. We did a whole So I had to tease one photo, but that's not even the best photo from that shoot. But by the end of it, he was like, okay, I think that that's it for me.

Yeah.

We had guests on the Brooklyn Bridge. We were doing photographs on the bridge and then we were doing our couple shoot in the street on self-timer. And then he set a boundary. He was like, okay, I think I'm done with photos. for this portion of the day. And I was like, I respect that.

Yeah, yeah. It's also hard whenever you're shooting it yourself because it does take longer. You're like, I hope that I'm like getting it. You don't have someone being like, oh, just turn a little bit more this way. Perfect. Okay, right there. Just go for it.

Like, right.

Yeah. So, but I loved it. And I just want to say, like, I love seeing how in love you are with your husband. I think it's so beautiful. I know just as being like your best friend, a small glimpse of like the work that it's taken to get your relationship there. Because for anyone listening, you guys have been together for 9 years, right?

This May will be 9 years. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think like having— like you guys have the energy of like, we just started dating 6 months ago type of thing. And I love it. I just adore seeing you glow. And he glows too when you post selfies. Like your little grins and smiles just make my day. And I just, I just love that so much. And I think that as your best friend and as any friend, you always want your people to be in healthy, amazing relationships. And I think it would really break my heart if you were in a relationship or in a marriage that you were not being treated the way that you deserve. And I just absolutely love Matthew, love you, and you're— you guys are such a great example for all of us. Thank you.

Oh my gosh, you're gonna make me cry. Thank you. I really appreciate that. And yeah, I think there were people early on in our relationship that didn't support us. And there were so many roadblocks to us getting to where we are now. And sometimes we'll talk about it. What if we let that end it? We couldn't have experienced this kind of joy together and this kind of growth and this kind of maturity.

Yeah.

There's maturity in a relationship too. And I really appreciate you noticing that and celebrating that because not everyone gets that. And so I really appreciate you and I love you.

I love you.

Okay.

Oh my gosh.

What are you in between right now?

Okay. I am in between creating and executing. I think the dreaming stage and the execution stage and Transitioning from that can be really hard because it's almost like I ride this high of creativity and I have all these ideas and I want to execute on all of them at once. And one thing that I'm realizing is like, yes, and I don't want to fall into scarcity mindset of like, if I don't get to it first and like, you know, like it's not— somebody else will get to it because that's just how it happens with all ideas. And I just had to take a mental step back this weekend and just be like, okay, I would rather do things slower and excellent than just push all of this out at once and burn my team out, burn anybody else out. Just nice and slow and steady like we've done it. And there is a time to go fast, but I just don't think— I think right now it's just, I really want to max out on my quality. I want to get so— I want to be like the one hotel in South Beach of the photographers, like 5 out of 5, where you feel like you're getting this luxurious experience. And yeah, that's kind of where I'm at. I'm in that fine-tuning stage. And so taking a step back from all the ideas, choosing the ones I want to execute on, executing well on those, and then I'll pick back up on the other ones later.

Yeah. Wow. You have, I mean, I would say arguably you have like the best work ethic of anyone that I've ever met.

Oh.

And so it's really cool to see you step into this level of leadership where you are like leading your company. And that also looks like things sometimes being put on pause or like in corporate land, we like to call that the parking lot. You put it in the parking lot until you can take it out and we can't execute on everything all at one time. Like, It's the beginning of Q2, so we're setting, like, all of our leaderships at Circle are like, okay, this is our Q2 plan. And we're executing on like the H1 plan the first half of the year, but like, here's what we're drilling in now just for Q2. And it's cool to see you like take that same approach with your business of like, and you're building your own pace too.

Yeah.

And I think that's something that like takes time, but yeah, I'm excited to see what you create And execute on this quarter. And it takes a lot of wisdom to discern what to focus on. And that urgency that you feel of almost a little bit of idea FOMO or execution FOMO.

Yes, it does.

Of like, I see other people doing it and I want to be doing it. Or I see the vision for it. No one's doing it.

I need to do it now.

Yes.

That's where I'm at.

Before anybody else does it. Yeah. Whatever it is. I totally get that.

Yeah. But I think taking a step back and being like, okay, why am I doing things anyway? And I want to build something that's sustainable and it's long-term. And yeah, it's just, I could see a little bit of how I could be burning out my team if I continue down this path. And just because I think it's also recognizing I like to work a lot and I can also get a lot of things done in a very short period of time because I'm so crazy about efficiency and time blocking. And I actually learned this about myself in corporate. It's like, okay, sometimes people just don't work that way and they need more time and they need to take things a little slower. So I can't expect— we're just all different.

Yeah.

So it's a great season of learning, of executing. But I'm just grateful to not feel stuck anymore because I felt really stuck in the wintertime. With my ideas. And so yeah, I'm just kind of enjoying the craziness that this season brings. What are you in between?

The hustle and bustle of being a business owner. I am in between— I feel really unmotivated right now. And this is my birthday month. I'm turning 30 at the end of this month. The book progress has stalled. I ran the 10K, checked that off the list. I'm feeling a little— yeah, I feel like, I don't know if blocked is the right word or unmotivated or maybe I've lost sight of the vision or maybe I don't care about the vision. I don't know. I'm feeling a little disconnected. That's actually— that's probably the word that I feel the most. I feel a little disconnected from the vision and I need to realign myself with what that is and if I still want that completely. I'm still writing the book. So I'm still writing the book. But I think that when we feel stuck or we feel blocked or unmotivated, I do think that that usually is a root of not having clarity. And I do feel like I have lost a little bit of clarity on some of the things I'm working towards. So yeah, I'm in between figuring out what I want to do with that. I also think I'm tired. I think I'm a little burnt out on my lifestyle, honestly, which sounds so weird. Tell me more. I think between the habits and maintaining relationships and trying to do a really good job at my 9 to 5 and being a coach and having the side hustle and Like trying to, um, trying to maintain different things. I just, yeah, I think I'm a little just tired. I don't know if I need to go back to like my systems or my, um, you know, like progress and look at what I've done and celebrate that. So yeah, I know it's not necessarily like a unique feeling. I think we all navigate like moments or seasons of feeling unmotivated or stuck, but Definitely in it, and I'm trying this week to like get myself on the upward slope because I don't want. I was literally just talking to like my gym bestie Millie about this this morning at the gym. I was like, "I don't want to enter into like my thirties this month feeling like so disconnected from my goals and disconnected from my vision." Like I want to spend this week kind of almost as like an internal reset, and. I think there are decisions that I'm avoiding making. And yeah, all of that to say, that's what I'm in between right now is nothing heavy, just kind of that low-level vibration. My vibration's not filled. And I think in the past, I used to use travel as a way to fill my battery. And I think as I've gotten deeper into my healing journey, travel's genuinely just for a beautiful experience, but it doesn't actually fill my battery anymore.

Mm-hmm.

Because my systems, my habits, my lifestyle is what helps fill my battery. Right?

Yeah.

And I like that because it feels more sustainable. I don't want to have to escape from my life to go on vacation to feel full again, even though, yes, travel's very fulfilling. But yeah, I'm feeling like, okay, well, New York didn't fix it and that whole month of travel didn't fix it. So I'm like, okay, I need to go a little bit deeper and figure out kind of what's going on mentally. Yeah, I mean, nothing, again, like nothing bad, just, okay, why does— why do I keep circling back to this? And like, what needs to be solved? What answers feel the most urgent that I— sorry, what questions feel the most urgent that like I need to come up with answers for?

For sure. Yeah, I think like as you were speaking, it was taking me back to like December and January in my life where I felt so disconnected And it was like that New Year energy where everyone's so pumped, so excited, and I'm just like, I'm just trying to sleep.

I don't know.

And even the days that I did rest, it was just like, I just felt so disconnected. And in those moments, we all go through it in different periods. But like you said, it's asking the right questions. And sometimes you don't know what the right question is until you ask a million wrong ones. And then you finally get to that right one where it sparks something. And it's like this self-discovery phase that I think, which is one of the main reasons I love the podcast. It's normalizing the ups and downs because in a sense where I'm at now, it's almost like I want to ride it so high because I know that the down is coming soon and I'm going to have no energy. But it's like a rediscovery phase where you're like, okay, That's what I wanted in last phase. What do I want in this stage? And in a sense, it leads into our topic today too, of asking questions. What do you want your life to look like? What is it that is draining your energy now? What is giving you the most amount of energy? What do you crave? What do you naturally gravitate towards? And it's just an ever-evolving I guess journey of creating your life where you try a habit, you try a thing, and you're like, oh, that's for me, or that's not for me. Let me just pivot the way that I execute this.

Right.

Yeah.

No, I feel that. It's a great pivot into today's topic. And I think it's trying to navigate so much vision and purpose in my career and then trying to interweave that in my personal life and making it all mean something too. I know that maybe it's just because I'm turning 30, but I'm feeling very like, okay, what does my life mean? And have I spent the last decade— am I proud? And looking at— I feel like I'm in a very reflective state right now.

Mm-hmm.

And I'm like, okay, I want to lean into that because I think that if that's where my mind And my intuition is continuing to lead me. I want to investigate that.

Yeah.

And at the same time, I'm like, I don't have time for that. I'm in this now. I got to keep moving forward and I got to keep producing and I got to keep doing all the things I said I was going to do. And that's where I'm in between. I'm in between, I desire a deep pause right now and I also feel like I need to push through that. And continue to work on the things I said I was going to do.

It's also like, I don't know if you feel this, but I feel this, accomplishments are addictive.

Yeah.

The dopamine hit that you get from accomplishing things, from getting the goals done, the habits done, the everyday thing. And it's very hard, for example, to let your body rest or to just sit outside. You're thinking of all the things that you could be accomplishing. And I think that's a very hard part about being a goal-oriented person is learning the art of resting, of exploring, of just being. And that can— like, ebb and flowing from both of those can be very exhausting and very hard to do.

Yeah. I also think, like, yes, the accomplishments, but it's also the external praise and validation and celebration from others that's also very addicting.

For sure.

Yeah. It's like, oh my gosh, you think I'm like Killing it? I'm crushing it? Oh, you think I'm doing so good? And internally I'm like, mm.

I'm going to take a nap.

Nappy nap. Oh my gosh. Okay. So let's talk about finding joy and fulfillment outside of work. I feel like this is the perfect segue. For you, when it comes to hobbies and interests, when did you— this is kind of a reflective question. When in your 20s specifically did you feel the tension of like, I need more hobbies and interests outside of work?

COVID. And I'm sure a lot of people will relate to that. I think COVID was a very interesting time for me because it was also when I was experiencing the most amount of trauma in my life. And so it brought a lot of all these things that I focused on, all these accomplishments and career and everything, mean absolutely nothing right now. All I want is to feel peace. All I want is myself back. And so I had that side pulling me in while at the same time the world is shutting down. I'm in my house and I'm like, okay, now I'm starting over by myself. So it was just like this point of zero. I felt like maybe what Adam and Eve felt like at the beginning of the world, right? Of just being plopped into this random, just by yourself. And so I was like, okay, I took some virtual cooking classes. I was doing different types of workouts when I used to be only a lift at the gym kind of girl. And then I was walking and reading and just really leaning into those hobbies because, well, A, I knew my mental health needed it, but B, it was truly— that's where my self-discovery journey started. It was okay, now it's me by myself. Who am I? What do I even like? Do I like this? Do I not? Have I just been doing certain things just because that's what I grew up around and that's that?

Right.

So I think that, yeah, in a sense, a byproduct of therapy has been I've learned to ask myself a lot of questions, even in those very playful scenarios of what do I want to do today and what brings me life and what brings me joy and what do I need? What about you?

I'm trying to reflect. I think that my side hustles were in their own way, especially whenever I was living in Nashville, early 20s, was developing my career in tech at the time. And because I was in Nashville, such a creative small business entrepreneurial environment, it was very easy to have a side hustle as a content creator or as a fashion blogger or as a travel blogger slash doing UGC really before I even knew what that was.

Yeah.

And it was fun. Me and Jess would go and we would partner with a hotel and they would give us everything for free, no cash. We weren't paid for anything, but we would go take photos and hang out in the pool and do these cool experiences. And that was a massive creative hobby that in my mind wasn't a business. It was genuinely a hobby. And I loved that. Like, I called it a side hustle because it was taking time. It was taking time to like build and develop.

Mm-hmm.

But I, I loved it. So I, I think that was like the first origin of me having hobbies outside of work was like being really creative and leaning into something that felt kind of undiscovered at the time, back in like 2016. But now, I would say I have really strong boundaries between, especially working a day job on top of running a business. I have very strong boundaries with my day job and even my business, Deeper Life. So, I feel like I have done a better job in cultivating habits, but it still feels like I don't know. Sometimes hobbies can feel like another thing.

Yes.

How have you looked at hobbies as not like a checkbox? Because sometimes it's like, okay, yeah, I joined this gardening club. I did it on a whim and now I got to actually go. Or there's popular female walking communities.

Yes.

Oh, City Girls Who Walk.

Yes.

And there's a Houston account. And I've literally followed the account, but I'm like, I like to walk, but I still haven't gone.

I like to walk.

So how do you shift into the idea of building a hobby and trying something new into actually committing and doing it?

I think that is such a great question. I've yet to find the answer.

I don't have the answer for that. Don't ask me.

Yeah. I think what's hard for me is that my business and my work ebbs and flows so much. So it's not like, okay, yeah, I can commit to this and I can show up every Wednesday and go to pottery class. I've been wanting to take pottery classes for a while now, just for fun. And I just, I can, but I can't. I'll be traveling one week and then the next week maybe I have because that's when it works for my couples. It's just so ebbs and flows. And at the same time, I love what I do and it takes so much energy out of me to do a shoot and to do certain things. And so like you said, it can feel exhausting to have to go to another social thing when I've spent the day socializing and leading and creating and driving. And it's just like—

Okay.

So I feel like that can be really hard. I think for me, I've just really simplified it to the things that bring me joy and paying attention to the things that I feel like fill my cup up a lot. And so while it might not perhaps qualify as a full-on hobby, like going to pottery class or going to tennis or anything like that, it's more making time and leaning into those things that refresh me all over again. Aside from work and aside from productivity. And so for me, it's spending a lot of time in nature and walking in nature. So if I'm traveling, how can I step outside? How can I go on a hike? How can I walk around the city and just not look at social media, just play some great music and just really romanticize my life for that time and just get lost in that and have quality time with myself and ask myself questions? Or even going out to a picnic. I do this a lot in the summertime, is after a long workday, I'll go to the lake and I'll just take a blanket and I'll just either read a book or journal or go through questions and really spend some quality time with myself. Which, as I'm speaking that, that's really how I love to spend quality time with my people, is asking questions. Let's have some quality conversations. Let's just Yeah. Sometimes I just get so tired of doing so much. I just want to be.

Absolutely.

So that's more like where my hobbies, quote unquote, are landing right now is more on the being and resting and spending time in nature than anything else.

Yeah, I love that. Last Monday, actually, Matthew and I were supposed to go on a double date and they needed to cancel last minute. And we were like, okay, no worries. But in our heads, like, I had worked from home all day. I was like feeling very stationary. You know, I was under my 1,000 steps for the day. Okay. I was like, um, let's still go do something. Like, I need to get out of the house. And I had planned in my mind like, oh, that was gonna be my excursion for the day. It was this double date. So we went to the grocery store.

Excursion.

Excursion for the day.

There is our excursion waiting for us at that table.

Yeah, literally, uh, like I'm on a cruise ship, like, here's your excursion for the day. Um, but we ended up going to, um, we had like credit for Sweetgreen— or sorry, credit for DoorDash. So we like ordered DoorDash through, um, or Sweetgreen through DoorDash, but like went and picked it up. And then we brought a picnic blanket and Piper and a tennis ball Yes. And we just played at the park. And that was probably a highlight of my week last week was just getting out of the house, doing something with Piper, seeing her so happy. And she got her exercise in for the day. We ate these amazing massive salads. The focaccia bread, I don't even know if I'm saying that right, but the focaccia bread—

Focaccia.

Yes, that. At the Green is seriously untouchable. It's like rosemary. Yum, yum, yum. I feel like a lot of my hobbies are around food.

Same, retweet.

Come eat with me. Yeah, I love getting food and going to the park or something. And something that I have tried to tap into, and it is a hobby, and I think this is an important caveat and I'm curious to see what you think, and then I'll share what the hobby is. Frequency. When people think, oh, my hobby, I play tennis, or I read, sometimes we hear, oh, that's a hobby. That means they do it all the time. And I think we need to redefine what hobbies are. Hobbies are things that we do that bring us joy when we can do them.

Mm-hmm.

Not I do them You know, every day, weekly. Like sometimes, yes. But like sometimes we need to lower the bar for what a hobby is. And like for me, that's hosting parties or like having people over. That's something that I might do once or twice a quarter.

Yeah.

But that's still a hobby. Planning the meals, planning the tablescape, like the flowers, the experience, what music am I going to play? Like I absolutely love that. But it's not something I do every month, but it's still a hobby. So for you, what do you think about the frequency thing? Because I think that sometimes we have these standards that we feel like we're supposed to hit, which then ends up turning it into a to-do and not something that I get to be in this.

Yes, for sure. I think if someone were to ask me right now, what is your hobby? And my standard would be something that I do every week. I'd be like, I work. And I like to work out. I like to live. That's something that really brings me joy and I don't want to miss. And I love seeing strength and all that stuff. But besides that, I tend to fall more in either monthly things or quarterly things. I do think that you can't qualify something as a hobby if it's only once a year though. I feel like that's just an activity. I think there's a difference between like having activities that you enjoy. Hobbies is like there needs to be some kind of frequency, whether it's weekly or quarterly, for it to be a hobby in your life. That's a good point. But don't quote me on that.

Well, then I wonder, like, this is a very important scientific discussion backed by data, okay?

Sponsored by us.

Sponsored by you and I. The thing that's interesting there is then that's a habit. So I wonder if it's habit, hobby, and then activity, random thing that you do once or twice a year. But it's not necessarily a hobby. Whereas a habit, my habits I do daily or at least 5 to 6 times a week.

Right.

But that's not really a hobby. I don't know. I feel like maybe a habit I don't know. Do you always enjoy— I enjoy my habits and I enjoy my hobbies.

Someone tell us what the answer is.

We're having a crisis.

So is this a podcast on habits or hobbits?

Hobbits.

Habits.

Oh my gosh, I'm dead.

Okay.

But do you know what I'm saying around frequency?

Yes.

For whatever, for you listening, whatever your hobby is, how frequent do you want it to be? So if you're like, I, I like to read, I want to read, but I don't read that much. Okay. And like, you want that to be a hobby. Like BookTok over the last 2 years has absolutely blown up and people are like loving reading as a hobby. And I feel like it's like becoming even more mainstream. I mean, we've always been reading, but like it's something that people are building entire communities around. Yeah.

And, or like gardening too. You can do that all year round.

Pottery. Like, I used to make— I like, for a brief moment, um, liked making candles, you know? And so that was a quarantine thing. I also bought cross stitch during quarantine.

Never opened the box. Oh no. I used to do calligraphy.

Did you?

Yeah, I really enjoyed it.

Actually, that, that I can see that. Do you ever like used to have a hobby that is dead?

Yes, I used to, um, do a lot— how do you say that in English? It's like charcoal drawings and paintings. I used to do that all the time.

Oh wow.

I loved it. I love things that I can get like my hands really messy and like create with it because sometimes it's like, I don't know, I have too many like clean lines in my life. So I love, I love just like, like that's why I think I crave pottery is I want to just get my hands dirty and create something. So That's something that is in my short-term goals for this year is I really want to get back into drawing or painting or some kind of charcoal experience. Whether it's— I think I'm just waiting to go and buy the paint and do the canvas. But honestly, I can just do that in small doses here.

Ooh.

And I think also sharing on this podcast, I'm not sharing from a I have all these amazing hobbies and things that I do that you should do too. It's more from, I'm right there with you, that I need to create a little bit more of balance in my life between work and hobbies. I want to say hobbits.

Hobbits. You can call them whatever you want. Okay.

But I think what I tend to do, and maybe some of our listeners will relate to this is I'll have a long workday and then I just want to doom scroll or veg out and watch something that I don't have to think, right? And so I think it's about how can we find other activities that we really love that we also can be mindless and just get lost in it and we don't have to think about it so much, like maybe a goal or something that is more of a habit in our life.

Mm-hmm.

And it can bring that same level of fulfillment without just like Vegging out all the time. So I'm working on that. I don't have the answer for it, but I think that's something that I definitely want to work on like this month is like, what are some of those things I can do mindlessly that are more life-giving?

Yeah. And that, that feel like a level of intentionality to them. Um, because sometimes hobbies are the first thing that get cut from our schedule. Like, oh, my energy is really low, or I've had a really crazy week, and like, I don't want to make time for that. But as you were talking, it kind of made me realize like the default doom scroll is something that like, in a way, it's not really helping us feel alive.

Yeah.

We actually want to like turn our brain off and like not feel anything for a little bit, like we're numbing out. And I think that there's something about Habits. Sorry, frick. Hobbies.

I was doing so well.

There's something about hobbies that I think bring us to life.

Yes.

Hobbies breathe life into the cracks of our daily life. And I feel like that's where instead of leaning towards things that numb you out, how can you lean to things that really bring you joy, whether that's Coloring. One of my hobbies that I don't do anymore but used to do a lot in high school was I used to fish. And it kind of made me— Oh, I'm dead. I don't know, I just feel like that's so funny. You were like, oh wow.

I know, I, I forgot about that, but I knew that because you and Matthew used to fish.

Yeah, I'm a fisher of women. Um, but is that a fisher of men? I don't know. It's the end of the day. But what I was gonna say is that I resonate with what you said about like the physicality of a hobby and that like not having a hobby that's digital because like so much of our life is digital and like working remote, working on the computer, on my phone. So like fishing was like, it's just me and nature.

Yes.

Like, you know, the taking— putting the bait on the hook, taking the fish off the hook. Like, that was such a fun experience. And like, I would go out and fish for hours.

Yeah, it's therapeutic. Like, even just being in nature, that's so good for you to be there for that long. And I think too, I remember when I was in therapy and going through that experience, she was telling me about the importance of us tapping into our inner child and letting ourselves play. And she's like, Astrid, you are so focused on doing the right thing and tell me what's the next thing I need to do and the next book. She's like, I'm not giving you a book this coming week. I need you— your homework is to find things to play and do and just be. Who are you when you're not doing? And that was such a beautiful question for her to bring up. And that, I challenge everyone that's listening to this to explore. And I need to re-explore that again, actually, of, okay, when we strip away our jobs and we strip away our careers and everything, what do you enjoy? What do you love? Like, let's say someone's like, okay, you don't have to work a single day anymore, and, um, you're just gonna be like— suddenly the economy is just not a thing anymore. What would that day look like? Like, what would you gen— like, genuinely gravitate towards? And there's so much of especially as you become an adult that you struggle with mental health. We go through really hard things and being able to cultivate some of these playful aspects of ourselves that we can still tap into that. There's a healing aspect where we're able to just disconnect in that sense rather than just vegging out and being also a better example to people.

If We—

you do have kids that sometimes kids grow up just seeing their parents cope in that way of, you know, TV and scrolling. And like, if I had a child right now, that's what they would see of me, and I wouldn't want that. And so it makes me think, like, if I wouldn't want my child to just like doom scroll or watch TV after a really long day, but I'm letting myself do that, then I'm not doing a very good job about like parenting myself into having some of those habits and things that I want to do. So I think a question I would have for you is, okay, you get to a point where you're like, I would love to build some new hobbies and I want to create that balance, quote unquote, in my life. What would be the next step to deciding or even exploring, like, okay, what do I like?

Yeah, well, I think it starts with kind of being curious about or open to your curiosities. So like, oh, you know, I've always wanted to learn how to make sushi. Okay. Well, like, could you take a sushi class? Or maybe you're open to like, I want to, I want to take a cooking class once a month or once a quarter and learn how to cook, like, or different recipes. Like if you're curious about, you know, building your skills or just enjoying being in the kitchen more, Are there things that you could do that would help cultivate that as a hobby? Something that actually Ashley, one of my friends here in Houston, she was doing the— it's the beginning of April, so I do these goals where I map out what my goals are for the month and then I put the frequency that I want to do those goals. So movement, journaling, date nights, doing no alcohol this month. leading into Paris. And one of hers that she screenshot or she took a photo of her goals. And I hope she's okay with me sharing this, but she had 5 circles and her goal was try new things.

Oh, I love that.

And then she literally has 5 lines underneath and she already had one filled out and she tried something new this past weekend.

That's amazing.

And I'm like, that's also a cool way to cultivate new hobbies is like, you don't know if you like it or if you want to continue doing it unless you try.

Yeah.

So like taking an aerial class or like baking bread, like those things do feel like a level of like, I need to be good at this out the gate. And I think that's something with hobbies, like lower your, um, your maybe your ego or your desire to perform. And really, like you said, interacting with that playful side of yourself where you're learning something new, like taking pottery. You might be so good at that out the gate, but you also might not be good at it out the gate.

Mm-hmm.

And the more you develop that hobby and the more that you put time and energy into it, the better that you feel about it, the more that you want to do it. And you're like, wow, I made this cup. I made this saucer that this cup sits on.

Yeah.

And that's also a level of confidence comes from that. And I think when we have so much of our confidence come from our professional life and we don't have any confidence that's flowing from our relationships, that's flowing from the way we take care of ourselves, that's flowing from our hobbies, it's flowing from our identity, not just what we do for a living. I think that's where we can have a sense of brittle confidence where We put so much weight in who we are as professionals or who we are as moms or who we are as wives. And we don't necessarily build this holistic view of who we are as a person outside of the roles that we play in life. And I think that's really like what hobbies help us do.

Yeah.

They kind of round out like the sharp corners of sometimes what our identity can feel like.

Absolutely. Shout out to Ashley. I love that of trying new things because sometimes we can hear this great content or invitation and you want to do the thing, but you don't know how to take that next step. And just trying 5 different things will make you— you'll realize quickly, oh, I really enjoyed that. I wasn't very good at it, but I enjoyed it and I want to lean into it more. And explore that. Or I absolutely hated it, will never do it again. Cool. You tried it at least, and that's all that matters. And so I think there's a level, like you said, of letting your ego take a backseat and just be okay with not being good at things. Try new things. It's going to show you so much about yourself. I think that's another layer is yes, disconnecting, yes to all of that, and you will grow so much because of it. I also think redefining hobbies, it doesn't even have to be a full-on activity.

Yeah.

So, for example, if you really enjoy, I don't know, space and just researching or history, and you're like, I really want to— this month I'm going to learn about the history of Italy, and then next month I'm going to learn about the history of France. Amazing. Find cool documentaries, find content on it, dive into those things that it's like a guilty pleasure. And that's perfectly okay. Or like, I really enjoy organization. To me, a hobby would be like finding new ways to like make everything super efficient. And, and it wouldn't feel so productive on my end. It would just feel like, like a, I don't know, like satisfying. If someone told me to organize their closet, like I would love to do that.

Come on over, baby. Come on over. I feel that like organization to me does feel like a hobby. Um, I think it's like Again, coming down to the physicality of it, moving things out and cleaning things and putting things back together, it feels very satisfying. Another hobby that I just remembered is whenever Matthew and I were renovating our first rental property.

Yeah.

Not first, we have many. Our one and only rental property. Whenever we were renovating it, getting my hands dirty and ripping out drywall and Researching. Yeah, researching and doing all the design work. I think the design felt more like a hobby and then doing the work was like, I did not like that. I just want to pick. I just want to pick everything out. But that was like, oh wow, I would love to do that as a hobby. Put rooms together, put color palettes together. That's so fun. So yeah, what can you do? Or how can you lean into things that you're naturally interested in or curious or just trying something new that you never would've thought you would've liked? And like, that's really cool too. Yeah.

And then I also add to that, if you are in a partnership or in a marriage also and you live with someone, like how can you find some hobbies together too? So this is like your lives also outside of your 9 to 5. So finding some personal hobbies and then also together, like Maybe you want to try a new recipe a week together, or maybe you want to try, I don't know, doing some kind of new sport or running a marathon or whatever it might be. Maybe it's even just like board games. You guys just get really good at board games every single week and you're just having fun with that. I love that. But yeah, I think there's just something so magical about you deciding to not just do the same day over and over on repeat and just like, okay, go to work, work out, cook, journal, eat, repeat, like all this stuff and being like, okay, what do I actually need today? Or how can I move some things around? Or how can I do my routine a little bit different and like lead into other stuff? And the last thing I'll say is pay attention to how you respond when other people are doing certain activities. Because I think a lot of times that can spark something in you. So you might be scrolling on social or a friend is like, oh, I joined a tennis club. And you're like, oh, that kind of sounds fun. Well, if you have that spark of like, oh, that sounds fun, lean into it. Or like anything, truly any hobby. But I think those little indicators, whenever you run into them, are a great place to start. So Yeah, I'm excited to honestly kind of journal about this topic. I feel like this conversation sparked something new in me, and I think that Astrid in 2020 leaned quite a bit into her hobbies. And then as I healed, I kind of leaned back all the way into— I wouldn't want to say super productive because I would consider travel a big hobby as well, but I'm excited to dive more into my daily habits and just the more simplistic ones quite a bit.

Yeah, me too. Last question before we wrap up. What is one hab— or what— dang it. Now we've got the habits and the hobbies. What's one hobbit?

I can't.

What is one hobby that you have thought of throughout this conversation that feels very, very top of mind for you that you want to explore in the next 30 to 60 days?

I love that you brought that up because I have had a visual the entire time that we've been talking. To me, it's art. It's painting on a canvas. It's painting on a sketchbook and with charcoal, with whatever it might be. I feel like my soul has deeply craved that for quite a few months now. And it's actually on my vision board that I have as my background on my phone is that I want to make time to just paint. And I think that being a creative that does creative work for a living, having that separation of just creating just because would be really good to my soul and just blasting the music. And I think there's an element of just wanting to create with just me. I always create with other people. And I love that space that they invite me into. But I think that, yeah, I guess I'm curious to tap into getting lost in the music, getting lost in the moment, and just creating for me. So definitely painting.

I love that.

What about you?

Okay, um, 2 came to mind for me. One is gardening. Like, I have been talking about wanting to have a raised garden bed on our front porch for forever. And, um, like, I want to have an herb garden.

Fun.

And I want to have little like tags that say like rosemary, basil, thyme. Like, I just, I want that. I want to grow my own lettuce. I want to be one with the earth in this box because I can't plant it because we have, we have turf in our, as our grass in the front yard.

Yes.

So Yeah, I want to challenge myself in that way, try something new. I've never really done it, and my grandma and my mom are very into it, and they have been my whole life. And like, I'd love to have that hobby that I can then talk to them about.

Yeah.

Like, Grandma, like, I had to— my tomatoes are growing. Like, I don't know, I want to celebrate that with my Nana and my mom.

So that's the first one.

And then I think I would like Matthew and I to get into the cadence of like Mm-hmm. Like either every month or every other month, like more consistently as we are growing like our community here in Houston and building like deeper roots. I think there's something about inviting people into your home that just feels like really special and intimate and connective and fun. And I think that would— that's something I would like to do more of. So those are my 2 things. Check back in. Check back in in like a month or 2.

Same.

Yeah.

Have you painted, Astrid?

Painted?

How's the garden coming along?

Yeah, seriously. Let us know what hobbies you want to build. We would love if you would DM us or tag us if you are sharing the pod on Insta Stories. Let us know what What hobbies you are really interested in developing or just trying, just trying something new. We would love to know. And thank you so much for being a part of this community with us. It's really meaningful and impactful to see our listenership grow every single month, month over month is an increase.

Yes.

It's like an upward and to the right line of more and more of this community coming together and joining over those in-between moments. And I'm really excited about this topic in particular because I think it's like, this is really the in-between, the middle ground between our personal life and our professional life and how do we bring more substance and meaning and joy to those moments. And so anyways, I'm just really glad that we're doing this and glad that you're here. You specifically, Astrid, as well as the listener. And we're here, and I'm glad you're here, all of you.

No, I, uh, forgot to mention this at the beginning, but have you checked our downloads?

Are we at 10K? Are we at 10,000?

We hit 10K! Yay!

Oh my God, that's so cool.

I love that. Yeah, so thank you to every single person that is listening and has listened and that you've You've shared the pod before too. We're so grateful for you. It's been almost a year of all of this, and every single week the consistency has been there. And just seeing the messages come through from the conversations, it's just really opened myself up too to other connections and other friendships through that and level of vulnerability that we both show up, um, or show every week whenever we show up to the show. And so— Thank you so, so much for listening. And if you've enjoyed the pod and haven't left a review yet, we would absolutely love to have that and just hear what you're connecting with. So just go ahead and pop on over either on Spotify or iTunes or wherever it is that you're listening and rate the show. It really helps us to get on the listenership of other people as well. And if you—

It helps the algorithm. The algorithm is algorithm— algorithming.

Algorithming. We just like nail it at all the words today.

We're really thriving with our vocabulary. Are you all impressed?

You know what's okay? Little side note, on TikTok I get a little ad that says expand your vocabulary and I get so offended at it.

That's amazing. Maybe we both need to like take some, you know, some lessons.

Maybe that's a new hobby.

Oh my God.

All right, friends. Well, thank you again for tuning in, and we will catch you next time.