Creating Non-Negotiables For Busy Seasons of Life

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast.

This is one of your co-hosts, Astrid, and the other half of the pod, Alexis. And today on the podcast, we are going to be talking about non-negotiables in a busy season. Like, there's something about the fall that leads into the winter where it's just kind of busy, kind of like that early summer vibe where like you've got a lot of plans, there's weddings, there's holidays. And so Now we're going to be talking about what are things that you absolutely still do and still prioritize even when you're busy? Because oftentimes if we stop prioritizing things that are good for us and that help us manage our stress and manage our time during busy seasons, I think it leads to burnout. And so we're, we're kind of trying to proactively talk about What are some non-negotiables that you can instill in your own personal life, maybe in your business, in your career, that will help you navigate busy seasons so that you're not burnt out and you still feel like you have a choice? I think that's a big thing whenever you're really busy and you're really stressed is this like, hey, we have choices here. Like life isn't happening to us. We're not out of control. And so we're just going to talk about that today. I'm excited because I don't think we've really broached this topic. in this much detail before on the pod. And yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

Yes, I am so excited for this topic. We're both in the thick of this. I think most of our listeners are as well. And it's also interesting to hear how different other people approach their busy season. So maybe you'll get some ideas from Alexis, maybe you'll get some from me. Um, and I'm sure I'll learn from you as well today as we chat. But I feel like having that conversation sometimes helps you just think, oh, maybe I could do that differently, or I am unnecessarily adding stress in this area. How can I minimize that during, especially during your busy season? So I'm so excited for this, but before we jump in, I would love to hear what have you been up to and tell our audience where are you recording from?

Yes, so I'm recording from 30A in Florida. It's on the Panhandle. I'm currently looking at like storm clouds rolling in. So I'm kind of glad I'm working today because there's nothing like working remote and like being inside when it's so nice outside. So it's raining outside and I'm happy about that because I'm working remote today. And then, uh, for the rest of the week, Matthew and I are taking some vacation days and just soaking up being together, being at the beach. So excited. And then this past weekend, uh, we went to a wedding in Louisiana in Lafayette and wow, it was so much fun. I had my first gumbo ever. Um, I tried boudin and like a few other like very specific Creole cuisine. And that was so much fun. And then they had a live jazz band. And I know that you go to a lot of weddings. And sometimes like live music is a hit or miss. Sometimes the audience is really into it and they're like, we love it. And sometimes the audience is like, can you please play like, you know, Get Low by, you know, like, can you please play—

Silence Rock.

Yeah. Yeah. Can you please play like DJ music? So everyone loved it. They were playing banger after banger, like from oldies to new songs to rap music. Like they killed it. Matthew and I like lost our voices the next day and our knees hurt because we danced and sang for hours and it was so much fun. So had a great weekend, uh, celebrating our friends and now we're in Florida for the week and just feeling relaxed, end of the quarter, kind of prepping mentally for the rest of the year. So what have you been up to?

Oh my gosh, that sounds so fun. I feel like that should be added to wedding invites going forward if you know you're going to have a killer band. Like, knees will hurt day after wedding. That is how good our band is.

Exactly.

Oh my gosh. But yeah, funny you mentioned that because my wedding this past weekend, they had a band as well. And when I walked in, I was like, this could be a hit or miss. And it was a hit. And it was the same as you were mentioning, like during cocktail hour, the singer sounded a lot like Sinatra.

Wow.

And it was very romantic, very classy, like just all the vibes. And then when it came to party time, it's almost like they were their own DJ. Like they only sang about 30 to 45 seconds of a song and they went back and forth with like lots of pop things and lots of throwbacks. And then it just kept— like the dance floor was full the entire time. And then as soon as they made the change to the next one, everyone's like, wow. So it was so, so fun.

I love that.

But yeah, on my side of things, everything has been— it's the thick of busy season for weddings. And then this is my first season starting to have an associate team, like officially it'll be more next year. But this past weekend was a fun one. So last week I shot 3 different family sessions during the week. So pretty much every evening. And then Friday I drove up to Chicago in the morning to do a branding session and then went and had dinner with my second shooter for the next day. She's so sweet. We had the best time. And then I went to the hotel, downloaded everything, backed everything up. If you're a photographer listening to this, you know the drill. Like no matter how late it is, you still got to back up those images. Did some more editing. And then I stayed in Chicago this past weekend for the wedding on Saturday, which was so beautiful. It was an Italian slash, excuse me, Irish type wedding. Very, very stunning. The vibes were high, the love was high. It was so great.

Aww.

And then while I was doing all of that, my associate Chelsea was out in Malibu shooting an engagement party for a super sweet couple. They had a blast. It was so fun. It's been amazing to look through everything and start editing. And I don't think it was until this weekend that it actually hit me that I have like a full team. I don't know why, like I've done so much to pull it all together, but it was kind of surreal to be driving up to Chicago and just be like, I'm on my way here and also my team is shooting across the country. And I was just overwhelmed with gratefulness that I got to share that with somebody else, with another creative that loves couples and love, and I didn't have to just turn that down. And yeah, I guess I'm just, even though the weekend was very exhausting, I drove back and got back at like 2 AM on Sunday. It was just, My heart is full. My body's tired, but my heart is full. And I just feel so grateful to be doing what I'm doing. And I feel like I made the right decision to go full-time. And that's a really good feeling. So yeah, so my heart is full, but your girl's tired.

Both can exist. They're not mutually exclusive. We can be grateful And we can also be tired at the same time. Oh, I'm so happy that you had such a good week and like are feeling fulfilled in your work, are feeling connected to other photographers, connected to your team. It's so cool to like watch you expand and scale into this next season too. It's very inspiring to watch. So I'm so glad that you're happy and feeling really like, really confirmed of like, I'm so glad I left my full-time job when I did and started this and everything was kind of building on itself. And maybe you wouldn't be where you are if you hadn't have listened to yourself and left when you did. So kudos to you. With that said, I feel like that's the perfect segue into what are you in between right now? Are you in between being grateful and tired?

Honestly, I'm going to go off of that one. I feel very much in between feeling very tired and also very grateful. But also I feel like I'm just expanding in so many ways. And I won't get ahead of myself because I feel like a lot of it will have to do with our podcast topic today. But yeah, I feel like my mindset is just pushing me to, okay, I chose this, I wanted this. I'm tired and I wanted this. So let's show up. It's game time, baby. You got this. And I just having laser focus rather than like, oh my gosh, I'm working while everyone's sleeping. And then everyone has a weekend, I'm here. And then I work during the week too. And that mindset is old me. And when it starts to pop up, I just shut it down. And so that's more what I'm working through right now is sometimes that mindset can pop up in this season because it is a season where more social things start to happen in the Midwest. Everyone's getting together. There's a lot of, in my circle, birthdays and things like that. And so I just have to shut that down and keep my mindset. And I'm working on rewiring it to be like, no, I want this. This is why I did what I did and I chose this and I love it. And so— Yeah, I think sometimes you can just get really used to your dreams, living out your dreams and settling in on it. It's like my 15-year-old self, if she knew what she was doing, she would freak out and be like, that is so cool. And so I think sometimes we can just settle in and be like, oh, but so-and-so's doing this. And there's just a lot of comparison that can happen. And so I haven't been a ton in that space, but I can see glimpses popping up. So before I even let it carry on, I shut it down and I remind myself, this is what I've been wanting. And yes, there's more that I want, but at the same time, I'm happy to be where I'm at. So that is what I am in between right now.

I love that. Thank you for sharing because I feel like it's so real, that tension between wanting something and working for it. And like, oh, I really want this, Am I willing to put in the hours, put in the time, the energy, the expertise to do it and to do it again and again and again? And then there's the consistency piece. So it's not just like, oh, I want this, I'm going to work for it, and then I'm done. No, we want it, we work for it, we keep working for it. And so it's kind of like that mindset shift of, like you said, kind of expanding into the next level. Um, what am I in between right now? I, I don't know if it's coming off of a really big virtual, like, work summit and I got to interview people that I really admire. My coaching business is doing well. I don't know. It's this interesting, like, what's next energy of like, okay, we're at the last quarter of 2023. What's next? Like, what are we working towards? Because I, I feel like I've worked really hard to get to where I am right now. And so there's a mixture of wanting to celebrate that very similar to you. I want to celebrate where I'm at right now. And then also I'm thinking of how to be intentional about what my next steps are. So like, how am I growing in my day job, you know, in tech? And then how am I also expanding the coaching business? You know, social media, newsletter, this podcast. Like, I think there's always so many directions that you can take things. And so I think I'm in this interesting headspace right now where I'm trying to identify where I want to put a lot of my energy and like doubling down on certain things. Or if I want to change something in my life, like, do I actually have margin right now? To make a big change or ask for something different, or like if I want to take on, let's say, more responsibilities at my day job, where am I going to get that margin to do that? Or if I want to take on more clients for my coaching business, where am I going to pull from that margin to make space to like serve more clients? So interesting place, very happy to be here, like just happy to be in this headspace where I'm like, okay, this is going really well. Do we stay here for a while? Do we expand? What's next? So that's kind of where I'm at right now.

I love that so much. I feel like getting to a place where you can both be grateful for where you're at and also be curious about the future and not feel like, well, I'm not there yet, is a hard practice. I don't think a lot of people talk about how hard it is to reconcile both things in your mind. But I'm so excited for you. You have absolutely Absolutely killed it. I joined your summit this past week, and I took like so many notes. I actually like if the replay is available somewhere, I need that because I need to watch that again. And the fact that you like manage that along with your team and pulled it together, and all the prep calls I'm sure that you had to do with each of the speakers and the questions you were asking, it's. It's amazing to see you thrive in that space. And I'm just so excited to see where that curiosity will lead you because you are so amazing at what you do at both things, like in your business and your career. And that also has to be hard to be like, oh my gosh, I have all these options. What's next for both things? And so, yeah, I feel like that's such an exciting yet Curious stage to be.

For sure. For sure. It's— I'm glad that I'm here. I don't feel a sense of urgency to figure it out either. I'm giving myself a lot of space to explore, to be curious, like you said. I think when we add a lot of pressure to something and we're like, we need to figure this out right now. Okay, well, do we actually? Where is that urgency coming from? And I felt a bit of that actually this past weekend. Like, okay, I need to sit down. I need to figure out everything right now. And I'm like, no, actually we can have some time here. Like, let's just say in the next month we want some clarity, but we don't need to know right now. Um, but with that said, I think that it kind of leads us into our topic for the day around non-negotiables in a busy season. So I thought it might be fun to start out on some of our like life, personal life, lifestyle non-negotiables. When we're busy, what are things that we will always do in our life to make sure that we're handling and managing stress and, um, just feeling like even though we're busy, we can still show up for ourselves. That, that doesn't need to be the first thing that goes. It's actually the last thing that goes. And oftentimes when we're busy, we end up kind of prioritizing everyone else or everything else. And so I hope this conversation's inspiring to you. As you maybe walk through a busy season or you're in one right now, like how do we still show up for ourselves? So let's start there. Astrid, in your personal life, like what are some non-negotiables that you have even when you're in a busy season that you will like, these are the 2, 3, 4 things that I will never stop doing even when I'm busy or overwhelmed or stressed.

Yeah. I mean, the first one that pops up for me is time blocking everything in my schedule. And as it relates to my personal life, like I can do that very well in my business, but I've realized that if I don't intentionally schedule when I'm going to go to the gym, especially because my schedule fluctuates so much depending on am I shooting that evening, am I traveling that evening and then driving back, if I don't put it on the calendar, Even as simple as like, when am I eating lunch? I could just work through and then it'll be like 3:00 PM and I'm like, oh my gosh, I haven't ate and I got to leave for a session at 4:00 PM. I'll just go through a drive-through, eat on the road. And that just felt really chaotic to me in the past. And so if you relate to this where you're like, it's busy season, you know that you have all these top priorities in your job and you feel like it is taking over your life and maybe affecting your wellness or the things that you want to do, Something that has helped me to keep me focused is to what I call time budgeting, which is the night before I will add in all the things that I want to do. Like I know I have to get ready for this event. Well, it takes me about an hour to get ready. So then I'll budget that in and then I'll backtrack and I'm like, okay, so if I want to do all these things in my morning before this, I actually have to get up at 6:00 AM to do this. Or I can actually wake up 7 at 7 instead of just like Oh yeah, I think if I wake up at 7, I'll be fine. And then you wake up all stressed out and you're rolling into one thing to another. And so it's just having good time estimates of your personal life, building in that schedule of when you're eating, when you're working out, when you have to go visit someone, even if it's just a 30-minute thing, I will schedule it in because at least for me, I will zero in on work. I have one top priority during busy season. So that is something that has helped me. And overall priority is not letting wellness go out the door. And how do I do that? I time budget all of my wellness activities into my calendar.

I love the concept of time budgeting. I think that's so smart. I don't know if I've ever quite heard it called time budgeting before. So I love that concept. And it's like, I'm very much someone that puts a lot in my calendar, but I actually, I'm the opposite. I don't put a lot of my personal life in my calendar. So my calendar is like very work-driven and very work-focused. And then the rest of my, like, if you were to look at my calendar right now, it starts at 8 and it ends about 6, like 5 or 6. So what's happening in the morning and what's happening in the evening is not put on the calendar at all. And I don't know, there's something about that that actually feels freeing when I'm busy, where it's like I have my mornings and I have my evenings and I can choose what I want to do with them. And like looking at the calendar as a work tool. So I, I love that you're hearing two, two different perspectives. Like Astrid's very, it needs to be on the calendar or I'm going to forget it. Like I need to have it there as a reminder. And then you have someone like me that's like, I use my calendar for work and then I don't put anything on my personal life on there.

Yeah.

So it's like everyone has different strategies, different tools that they use to help them. I love that your statement around your wellbeing doesn't have to go out the window when you're in a busy season. Same. I would say one of my personal non-negotiables is movement. So I will always go for a walk, prioritize the gym, go for a run, go to yoga. Do something to get me moving. And actually movement helps me get out of my head and into my body. And so when you're busy and when you're stressed, like when you're moving, you're able to get into your body more than whenever, if you're just in your head all the time, you're busy, you're stressed, you're overwhelmed. You're not necessarily like, How is this stress impacting my body? Where do I feel tight? Where do I feel like I need to stretch or I need to breathe or I need to meditate?

Yeah, I feel the same way when it comes to movement. I feel like that is such a huge priority. You just have to bring it down to going for a walk or you're lifting or you're taking a class. Whatever it is, I think moving your body in some kind of way just really helps you to get in your feels. Sometimes we're just so in our head and it almost feels like it helps to ground you so much. And I love that you brought that up. And also it's just like you release so much.

Mm-hmm.

And I think Especially during busy season, I have this thing where I'm like, if I can push through this weight, if I can push through this workout, I can conquer anything that I have going on in my life and I can do that too. So I am strong enough. And it's almost like a mindset ritual. So I also had that on mine. So I'm going to bandwagon on that one. But the next one that I had for personal life is emotional decompression. I feel like during stressful seasons, that is something that we can be so on edge with, like taking things personally because we are so high stress because we are like, but I am trying so hard and like you do not see how hard I am trying. And like there are just so many things going on that I think our emotions can just be very high. And out of anything, that is the biggest season for you to really check yourself, for you to say, okay, what's really going on here? Is it I feel not seen when I'm already trying so hard? Is it this is hitting my imposter syndrome in the season where I'm busy and I don't have enough time to produce that? There is so many different aspects to it, but I think having that emotional Decompression can help to regulate us because otherwise we're adding an extra layer of stress to an already busy season. And you're just pushing all these emotions to the back and you're like, I feel dysregulated, I feel tense, I feel angry, I feel upset with myself and I don't know why. And I have to push through. And if we're just able to learn how to navigate things a little bit softer, a little bit lighter, have those conversations within our head with ourselves of letting go of, okay, is this actually happening? Or am I being right now extra sensitive to it because I'm in high stress? And just having those honest conversations with yourself, I feel like can help lift a big weight off of our shoulders. And this also goes for especially the holidays, you know, sometimes it seems everyone's high stress because everyone wants the celebration to be perfect and get the family together and Get the gifts and do the thing and cook the food and clean the house and get the kids ready. And emotions are really, really high. So how can you find time to emotionally decompress what's going on in your mind and your body to be able to show up as a fully— not fully regulated, but as grounded as you possibly can so that you don't regret something that you might say under stress?

I love that. I think that's huge. Emotional regulation is big because it gives you perspective on how you are showing up in your relationships, how you're showing up at work. And when comments are said or energy shifts or someone's mood is off, you automatically, because you're already living from a place of stress and overwhelm, you like will take that on and you'll almost like soak it up like a sponge. And so emotional regulation is kind of a way for you to block some of that external uncontrollable energy that's happening out in the world. And you can just focus on what it is that you need to focus on. Something too that you mentioned that made me think about this was that pressure that we feel for things to be perfect around the holidays, or if things at work are You maybe have a big event or a big presentation, and then everything else starts to feel heightened. Like, I feel heightened about everything because this one thing in my life is a big deal. And so something that helps me through this, and it's kind of a non-negotiable for me, is to know where are my stakes actually high and where are my stakes actually low. And so if I am really stressed, I'm like, okay, the summit stakes are high. I need to perform. I need to prepare. I need to be ready. Okay, meal prep, getting the laundry done, you know, being being on time for something with a with a good girlfriend. I can be five minutes late. Okay, stakes are low. And so what when you start to bring everything else up at this high level, you start to feel like everything is urgent, everything is important, and everything needs to be done just. So, and I think we hold ourselves to really unrealistic expectations. So that's a non-negotiable for me is like reframing what is actually the most important thing I need to be focused on and what else could I delegate? Could I cancel? Could I reschedule so that I can focus on where I need to focus? Um, and do that with grace and empathy and understanding that you're not trying to disappoint people. And I would rather— this is, this is another piece to this is like presence versus presence. I would rather not be present physically if I cannot be present mentally. And if I can't be present mentally, I'm going to, I'm going to cancel and I'm, or I'm going to reschedule, or I'm going to say like, hey, I've got a lot going on. Um, I need to reschedule, you know, for next week. And it's always okay because the people in my life are loving and understanding and are like, yeah, Alexis, do what you need to do. I'll see you next Thursday. And I think we don't always give ourselves the opportunity to do that because we think that we need to like show up and be perfect and we can't ever cancel anything. And that's just something I give myself a lot of grace on.

Absolutely. Especially during a busy season, knowing that you have the option to reschedule those things that aren't essential. And also, if you care about that person so much and you want to be there very, very present with them, then how can we find a different time to do that? And so I feel like that goes along really well with creating boundaries during busy season with those that we love, as well as setting expectations like, hey, during these next few months or this next week that I'm going to have a big work presentation, I really need your support. I really need your help. Or I'm not going to be as present. Or I can't do social events next week. I really need to keep things slow. I can't host people. There's just a lot of different boundaries that only you can decide what you need. We all have different capacities. We all have different thresholds for stress. It all depends on the season, on the thing. There's so many different aspects to that. So only you can decide that. But taking the time to say to yourself, what would make me like my best self during this busy season for me to show up how I need to show up, for me to perform how I need to perform, what would make that the difference? And then communicating that with the people around you, setting boundaries, saying, hey, I'm sorry. I won't be there at this family gathering. I have a big work presentation the next day, but I love y'all. I'll see you next time. And that can be hard. That can be very, very hard, especially if you end up having some big work deadlines or work things along with the holidays where everyone's like, well, we're all gathered together. It feels like everything is high pressure. Like if you don't show up, then you're not good. And that's not— That's not right. And I think sometimes we also put that on ourselves. Perhaps it's not the people around us, but we feel like we have to be there. We have to show up for them. We have to go to all the games and all the things. So creating boundaries around your social situations and with people you love and communicating that is a huge non-negotiable. And even lately for my life, that's something that I have been communicating with my partner of, hey, at this season, this week, like, I don't have capacity for this. Can we table this very intense conversation about, like, life for next week? I would love to have this conversation. Let's go to dinner. Let's talk about this. But right now, like, I just don't have any more bandwidth. So I think being able to communicate that really, really helps to be present and not make them feel like, okay, well, you just care about what's going on in your life too.

Totally. Okay. I'm so glad you brought this up because this was something that I didn't know where it fit into the conversation because it's kind of about work, it's kind of about personal life stuff. But one of my mentors, his name was Craig Lindvall, he always used to say that nobody cares about the storm. And essentially, it's like understanding— it's this life lesson, this understanding that 99.9% of people don't really care about whatever obstacle you overcame, how busy you are, what happened, what storm you're walking through. His point was all the people care is that the ship made it into the harbor. And so when you think about your life, no one really cares about the storm. Your partner probably does. Your close, close friends do. But then this kind of comes back to like a mixture of boundaries and setting expectations. And this is a hot take and it might be controversial and not everyone has to agree, but no one cares about how busy you are. Like no one wants to hear it. And I think that this is something I had to learn is that when I projected out how busy I was, people stopped inviting me to things. People stopped calling me. Friends stopped reaching out. Because the perception was Alexis is busy, don't talk to her. She'll reach out to you when she's ready and she's not busy anymore. And then my— I like, I had to almost repair and rebuild some of my friendships and relationships with my family because I put out this like, I'm booked and busy and stressed and overwhelmed and please don't talk to me. And I think that the downside of not being emotionally regulated and not having that kind of perspective is that people actually listen. They take that in and they say, oh, she's really busy. She probably doesn't have any room. Maybe all of her clients are booked up. Maybe she doesn't have room. I'm not going to reach out to her about coaching. Or like, I'm not going to go to Alexis to help solve a problem or call her for advice because she's not going to answer. She's too busy. And so I think it's a delicate mixture. This conversation is like knowing when to be honest and knowing when to just like hunker down and deal with your own stuff, because most people don't really need to know all the nitty-gritty details of how busy or stressed you are. So hot take, but I think it's like an important one for us to navigate and manage, um, that perception of when we talk about how busy we are. Yeah.

Yeah. And I also think, like, I love this conversation because I think sometimes when we are so busy and we're going through so much, we can unintentionally make somebody else's busyness feel less important. And that's not okay, right? We're like, oh, I just had this going on and you had this going on. And it's just like, it's not a competition, but we have to watch our language that we don't ruin relationships or hurt people around us during our busy season because we're feeling this high stakes. Everyone's busy. Everyone has a lot going on. Everyone has different thresholds too. Even if you think they may be having less things on their plate than you, quote unquote, to them, it's a big deal. And to them, it probably feels as much stress as you are feeling right now. And that deserves respect. And that deserves love and that deserves space for you to listen to them about their day too. And so I think that this is such a huge part of like, how are we protecting our relationships and friendships during busy seasons so we don't push them away, so we don't make ourselves unavailable or we're not hurting them? And just be honest, set the boundary and give them the time and space to also have time on your calendar. So I love this. We love this hot take.

Thank you. I feel so validated. Um, and I, I share that because I got it, I got it wrong, you know, like not that there's always a right way to do something, but I am sharing this from experience and from, you know, damaged relationships that I had to like rebuild. And it's like, oh, you have time for me now? And I know that they don't mean it in a like rude way. They're literally just like, oh cool, I haven't reached out in 3 months because I didn't want to bother you. Hey, sorry to bother you. But it's like, you're my friend. I don't want you to think that you're bothering me if you reach out. And so it's like, what kind of energy am I putting out in the world if my friends and family, the first thing out of their mouth when they reach out is sorry to bother you. But I wanted to you know ask you this question or ask about how this went. And so just something to think about. Last piece for non-negotiables for me, these are just like rapid fire. I will always prioritize date night and my relationship with my partner, even if we're busy. We'll always take one night out of the week and we'll go have a date, no phones, and just connect. And honestly, like that in and of itself is very grounding to me. So that's a big one. And then the other one is. Meal prep. I've noticed that when I'm stressed and busy, if I don't meal prep, I'll end up DoorDashing or I'll end up like eating some random thing from the freezer. And I'm not really excited about it, you know, so, or it doesn't feel like good. So meal prepping for me on the weekends, even when I'm busy, still a priority. And something is that cooking feels therapeutic. So it's like twofold. I'm getting a bit of kitchen therapy and I'm— my fridge is also full of prepared meals so that I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat during the week. It's one less decision I have to make. So those are my last on the personal side. What do you got?

Love it. I don't really have anything else on the personal side. I feel like the other ones that I have kind of overlap with business, so we'll just throw them on the business side. So I'll, I'll kick us off with Okay, okay, perfect.

Um, let's— yeah, you go first.

Um, so when it comes to the business side of things, and this overlaps with what we were just talking about with our friendships and our relationships, but I have found that scheduling out rest days and buffer days based on your workload, based on the big events that, you know, that you have coming up in your, like, business will help so much because life is uncontrollable. There will be a million factors like, God forbid you get sick and then now it pushes everything over. Maybe someone in your life needs you that they get sick and now you want to show up for them and you're not able to show up for them, or you're more tired than you expected and now you have that buffer day in there. So I think that whenever, you know, a busy season is approaching, going ahead and scheduling those days out helps whenever people then reach out like, hey, I want to have coffee with you. You know what? I actually have some margin even during my busy season in my work schedule to have coffee with you because I planned ahead for that. Like, it is possible to create that breathing room within your busy season. So I think when it comes to your business, looking at your schedule, planning ahead, be your own like, um, project manager in that sense of, okay, things can go wrong. Do I have buffer in my business to fix the things that may go wrong during this season?

Yeah, building in buffer is huge. Like, for example, the big live event, live event that my team and I did last week, I needed to prep a lot of the content for it. And so I— what, what can happen is if I don't put holds or blocks on my work calendar. It's open for teammates and people to book calls with me. And so 2 weeks leading up to the event, I blocked off like, this is a content block. We're working on this person's interview. We're working on reviewing these sales emails. We're working on like, we're in project mode. Um, I've noticed that I'm someone that if I have calls scheduled in between when I'm trying to work on a project, work on content, It's actually really like distracting to me. And so a part of navigating a busy season is knowing when you work best and how you work best. And so I'm going to put my, my like creative work blocks. Usually I'll have calls from like 9 to 11 and then I'll have a creative work block from like 11 to 1, 11 to 1:30, and then I might take calls in the afternoon. But if I'm trying to get specific projects done and I'm like, have calls and I need to do this, I need to do that. It's very distracting to me. So that is a big one. Another one on the work side is, this is a small one, but just making sure that all of my clients still feel checked in with, like, cause I have coaching clients and if I'm busy, um, on the like 9 to 5 job, I don't want them to be like, where's Alexis? You know? So to be supportive of my one-on-one coaching clients. So. Checking in with them on a weekly basis, making sure that something as simple as like, does, do all of my coaching calls have Zoom links in them? Like, have I, have I given them all the, the necessary information to like for our calls? Um, that's a big one to just like fill in a lot of those little details so I don't have to think about it. Set it, set down once a month, schedule out all of my coaching calls, all the Zoom links, and have all my meeting notes linked. That's on the coaching side, a non-negotiable that has helped me feel still put together when things might be busy.

That's so good. I feel like the more that you can work ahead and prep yourself up for the busy season and have those tasks in there, the one less thing that you have to think about and spend energy on and be reactive rather than proactive. So I love that so much. I think The next one I'm going to mention is the difference between important and urgent. So as business owners, there's a lot of things that feel important. You got to post on social media, you got to take care of your clients, you got to have a website, you got to do the emails, you got to do your product or service really, really well. What's the latest trend? There's so many aspects. What is urgent though? Right. And so for me, for example, Social media is important, and it's not urgent by any means. For me, what is urgent is my clients having top-notch experience. That is a non-negotiable. And and so excuse me whenever I am in the busy season and I need to roll out sneak peeks, I realize I was spending a lot of time posting. And so when I am behind on sneak. Peeks, I will move my posting over a few days so that I can get all of those out to my clients in time where they're like, oh my gosh, I didn't expect them that fast. Like, that's awesome. I'm excited. And I may be posting their sneak peeks that I sent them within a few days from their shoot. I might be posting it 2 weeks after their session because I am like posting different kinds of content, highlighting different things about my business. It is not urgent. It is important. And so I think as a business owner, you get to decide what is the most important thing that moves the needle forward. Is there a project that you're working on that is going to bring great revenue that is maybe the most urgent thing now compared to creating more content or like updating your website? And so I think as business owners, we're listening to a million podcasts, consuming so much content online. And our attention can just go a million ways. Like, okay, now I got to do this. Now I got to do Pinterest. Now I got to do TikTok. Now I got to do all these things. So especially during busy season, zero in what are, what's top priorities and take that into your everyday habits of what is urgent for today and then what's important for today. So at the end of the day, if you didn't get to the important task, that will have its time the next day, but you got what was urgent. You're not letting anything fall through the cracks.

I love that you brought up the urgent and important matrix. If you Google the urgent and important matrix, you'll see an actually really helpful graphic or a diagram, and it's like the urgency and importance scale. And there's a piece of it that's like, do I do this now? Do I delegate? Do I cancel this? Like, it kind of helps you put in When you're trying to pick your priorities for the day or for the week, it can put things into a helpful framework for you. So love that you're using that and like just the frame of mind of what really is urgent and what is just important. And I can schedule that for another time. I think that's really important. Another thing on the work side is letting my yeses be yeses and my nos be no. And so what I mean by that is if I commit to something, I want to be able to execute on it to its highest level. And if I say no to something, I want there to be like, I want to explain, not always explain why you say no, but like in the workplace, like, hey, I can't do that right now. I can do that in 2 weeks. And it's like helping people. Get insight into why you're saying no or why you need more time to work on a project because something else is taking, you know, is more urgent. And so when you are navigating making those decisions in the workplace, letting people have a bit of insight into what projects you're working on or the way you're prioritizing your work can really help. So with my manager, I'm like, hey, These are my, these are my most important things I need to get done this week. Boom, boom, boom. From your perspective and the way that you know how these projects fit into our goals for the quarter, am I prioritizing properly? Is there something I'm missing here? And then we'll have that discussion on prioritization and then I'm off to the races and I'm doing the things that I need to do. And then if someone's like, hey Alexis, we need this. Well, me and my manager discussed that these are my priorities. And so that's something I can maybe get to at the end of next week. And so it's like, you're also getting support for what's a priority to you as well, especially if you work in corporate or have a 9 to 5, is allowing your manager, your boss, your team to, um, see the urgent tasks that you're working on. And then they will also might not pull you in these different directions if they have clarity of like, oh yeah, Alexis is focused on this this week. I'm not going to ask her to work on some random project that doesn't align with her focuses. That's something that has really helped because in the past when I've been really stressed or I'm in a busy season, I hunker down and I isolate. And what happens is that people don't have visibility into my work. And so they see that I'm stressed and I look like a little chicken with my head cut off. They don't know why. What's she working on? What's going on? I'm seeing, I'm feeling this like vibe from her that You know, it's very busy. There's lots of stuff. Her calendar's booked, but what's going on? And so that's perception management. Part of that's healthy. Part of that's unhealthy. But I think a part of that perception is just inviting people into what you're working on in a really like measured way. Not like, I'm so stressed. Here's everything going on in my life. And you know, this happened at, you know, with my family and then this is going on. It's like, again, Respectfully, people probably don't need all those details. Um, but if you can give them a bullet-pointed list of what you're focused on, um, it can really go a long way and people feel like they can come in and support you on it instead of you isolating yourself in the work.

Absolutely. I love that, um, that point because it's also something that is when your managers trust you so much. that they keep giving you work, but they're not really keeping track of all your tasks because they know they don't have to micromanage you. And it's like, great, they don't have to micromanage you. And now they're realizing all these things that they have to give you. And so what— sorry if you can hear my lawn mowers outside, my lawn care people.

I'm so sorry. I can't hear them.

It is so loud. It threw me off. Good. But yeah, I feel like being able to bring that to their attention is huge because then you can tell them when they give you a new project, hey, this is all going on. If this is top priority, I'm happy to take that on. What from this list should I sacrifice for this week? And then that was something that I used to do in corporate. And then so then they would look at it and be like, Actually, I could find somebody else to do that. Or hey, this is not as important. Let's just push that off for a couple weeks. And so I realized I was putting all this pressure on myself to get everything done when my boss would have happily told me, hey, let's push this deadline back a couple weeks. I want you in on this project. Done. So communication is key for sure. Um, the last one that I have for the business side of things is systems. And so I think that creating really solid systems in the off-season will set you up for a more, much more successful busy season. And your busy season will give you data on what next systems you got to work on for the following down season. So this is not the time for you to start implementing all of this. But it is a time for you to start note-taking on what's taking you too long. What's making you not as efficient? What is something that you're— if you're spending a ton of time on emails, okay, you don't have to deep dive into how you're going to fix it. Just make a note. Emails has to be deep dive and fix into in the next quarter or the next 2 quarters or your client flow. And so something that I like to do is to think about what is a client's journey and the client's experience and all the different touchpoints that you might have with them. So if you sell a product, it might be a shorter timeframe, but you still have to confirm an order and send, hey, this has shipped and then charge them and all of this. If it's a longer timeframe, then writing out all of those steps, what are all the communication steps? Are you having to manually invoice them every single time? How can we then in the off season automate some of those things so that the next busy season you just have to jump into the custom part where like, hey, let's jump on a Zoom call. I want to chat through these things that you're struggling with, or I want to chat through your timeline and like, let's get creative together. We're not wasting our time to run through admin things because I've already created a system for that and emails. And so I think that data is really powerful and it can also help you feel a more positive light on those things in the moment that are making you more stressed out because you're saying, well, this is worth it right now because it's giving me input to make my business even better rather than just like, I am drowning and this has no positive outcome. So that is something that has really helped me. Each busy season will teach you Something about your systems that you can always improve on.

Yeah, I think it's really helpful to identify what those gaps are and then not feel the pressure that you need to then fill them right away. Like if you're in a busy season, you recognize the system's broken. Sometimes we don't have the time to go and fix it. Sometimes we do, but sometimes we don't. And so just being able to mark that, like almost bookmark it and say, this is something I need to fix when I have time. Um, that's really big. So yeah, we live and die by our systems, don't we? Like if we don't have them, we, we can't really, um, kind of multiply ourself. So that is huge. I love this conversation so much. I think it's helpful to me. It's inspiring to me to like learn from you and hear the different ways that we both navigate like busy, stressful seasons. Um, what was your like biggest takeaway? From this discussion or even just talking about some of your own non-negotiables?

Yeah, I, I think that I have some work to do on just projecting so much busyness with my like family and extended friends. And so I feel like there are layers of it that I've made progress, but I think there's layers of it that I haven't. And so I think in a season of busyness where I'm prioritizing certain tasks, Sometimes the texts fall through the cracks or the DMs fall through the cracks. Catching up on that doesn't feel urgent. And so while yes, you don't have to respond to texts right away, there is still a period of time where you should still be responding to everyone. So I think I have to work. That's probably my biggest takeaway from today is working on really communicating to my people how even when I'm still busy, I still have room for them. how I'm still thinking about them because I am and so loving on them because that's what I would want if they were in their busy season and I'm going through stuff like, hey, checking in, how's your business going? Or how are you doing? Or there's just a lot of life changes that we're all navigating. That is my biggest takeaway is I don't want to project such a busy, don't talk to me energy.

That's huge. I'm still working on that. I'm still actively putting that into practice as well. I'd say my biggest takeaway was the piece around getting clarity on urgent and important. And sometimes I make things that are just important urgent, and then I have a list of a lot of urgent things. And then again, kind of what I mentioned earlier, everything gets heightened and then everything feels like high stakes. So I'm still working on that, but you bringing that up makes me realize I need to like, maybe I need to make a little sticker of like the urgent and important matrix and put it on my desk. And it's just like, let's use this as a frame of reference because certainly not everything can be urgent, Alexis. Like we can, we can let some things be important that we get to, you know, in the next 72 hours or next week or whatever it is. And the expectations I place on myself to get it all done is just it. I don't feel like it sets me up for success. If anything, it makes me feel more like a failure almost every day because it's like, well, I had a long list and didn't get to it all. So, you know, so I think when we separate the urgent and important, we can find those small wins throughout the day and throughout the week where we're like, Yeah, there's always more to do, but I did all the urgent things and that feels good. So I love this conversation. I'm glad we are talking about this and sharing this. So if you're listening, let us know what you're, what you're working on when it comes to how you manage your life or your business or even your career during a busy season. And just know that you're not alone because we're. You know, we're figuring it out, um, as we go as well.

Absolutely. I love this conversation. I love how our biggest takeaways were both things that we learned from each other. And this is just my favorite thing, is having our friendship diary every single week and learning. So I hope that you all enjoyed this episode. I am so excited to share this space with you all. And next Next week we are— next month Alexis and I will be in Dallas for the Dallas Girl Gang Conference. So be sure to stay tuned in our next few episodes. We'll share more details on that, but so excited for that event. And in the meantime, share this episode with a friend that you feel like is in a busy season or about to jump into one and could benefit from some of these tips. Our Instagram is unfortunately still a little blocked, very blocked or hacked. But we are confident.

I did hear back from Meta, actually. I have an email from Meta where I have to like send them a picture of myself with like a number on it and to like prove my identity. It's such an interesting concept, but they gave me a special code that I need to write on a piece of paper.

No.

And then I take a photo of myself, I send it to them, and then I tell them like that we were hacked and all of that. So go follow us on Instagram. There's a high chance that we're going to get it back at inbetween.pod. Or you can connect with me personally at Alexis Teichmiller.

Or with me at AstroJohannaPhoto. We will chat with you next time.