De-Influencing 101: Cutting out the pressure, overconsumption, and distractions

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between.

Hello friends, and welcome back to The In Between Podcast. Welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. This is one of your hosts, Astrid.

And the other half of the pod, Alexis. And today on the podcast, we're going to be talking about de-influencing. So this is a trend I have been seeing over the last couple of months on TikTok specifically. And it's these creators, you know, on video sharing the things that you feel like you need to buy or need to do. But you actually don't. And so they just kind of remind you, you don't need to buy this new thing. You don't need to go to HomeGoods every weekend. You don't need to like go run errands to Target every other day. But whenever I step back and I really think about this trend around de-influencing, it's really an invitation for us to get more clear on our voice and get more clear on our decisions that they're ours.

Yeah.

And that we're not being influenced into something that really doesn't align with us, that we don't really believe in, that we don't really want to invest in. But because it's trendy and because it's hot and it's, you know, like all the buzz, we sometimes gravitate towards those things and they can become distracting. We end up doing, um, we end up doing things, making decisions that we don't really like, like, but it's like, oh, I felt like I should do it. And so We're going to be talking about how to de-influence things in your personal life as well as in your business. So I am really excited about this topic.

I am so pumped. I feel like this is a topic that it's not only influence from other people, but a lot of times it's also the identity side of us that's like, I am a fashion setter. I'm always on point with my outfits. And so that identity can lead you to make certain choices, or I am insert blank space, and then we start making decisions that aren't actually ours, or maybe just aren't a wise decision for that season in our lives as well. So honestly, like, even just working through what I was going to share today, it brought me like great self-awareness into certain areas of where I am doing that. And also, I can't wait to think about this more and also and Be able to look at other areas that I need to de-influence in my life.

Agreed. Especially like when you're thinking about what you might want to de-influence, there's a root of this that's rooted in what we have normalized. And so, because it's so normal, and we see it, and it becomes an influence to us, we just normalize it, and we say, yeah, this is the baseline. This is the bare minimum. When you're seeing people shop and consume so much on TikTok and Instagram and try-on hauls, it's like we have now normalized shopping and overconsumption when we really need to say, okay, is that actually normal? Is that normal and something I want to try to achieve month over month, week over week? So where are the things even in your life that you have normalized that you actually want to say, That might be normal for someone else, but it isn't for me and that's okay. And it's also okay that that's normal for them. There's no judgment there.

Yeah.

I just want to release the expectation of myself to feel like I have to go achieve or do or buy that thing in order for me to feel complete, relevant, in order for me to feel trendy, whatever the situation is. So this is very near and dear to Astrid and I's heart. So excited. But before we do, uh, Ashlyn celebrated her birthday and had a fun birthday trip. So tell us all about it.

Oh my gosh, it was such an incredible trip. It's probably been my favorite one that my boyfriend and I have taken. It was just so light and loving and like all the vibes, just go with the flow, like enough to have plans but also enough to just Oh, it's raining. Let's just go shopping together. Like, how fun. We just have this like experience. But yeah, I just had the best time. I feel like a mix of luxury with relax is what I was looking for for this birthday.

Yes.

I didn't want like go, go, go for every moment of the trip just because I was coming off of such an intense season. So I feel like I regulated my nervous system all over again. I feel so much better. I love it. Yeah, and it was just— I feel like every trip that I get to take with my boyfriend too, it just really deepens our relationship. We get to know different layers of each other and different aspects of life, and we just get to dream a little bit bigger and step away from regular life and just kind of do that together.

And it was so much fun.

It was good for the soul. I love that.

I'm so glad that you One, took time to really celebrate your birthday, get out of town. Sometimes a change of environment that's not related to work at all is like, okay, this is what I need. Because sometimes when we're trying to come out of like a burnout or like a very, very busy, busy season, being home where you also work is not the vibe sometimes. So I am so glad that you had a relaxing trip.

Yeah.

And it was also one of your favorite ones. To travel together. I love that. Making new memories.

Absolutely. Absolutely. What was your weekend like?

Well, I didn't have a— I had a very rough mental health weekend. I'll be honest. I think I spent a lot of the weekend judging myself for the way that I felt. And I think that when you struggle with mental health, there's this Empathy and compassion side, and then there's also this frustration and judgment side where you're like, okay, I understand, I've been here before, I can do this. And then there's also like, we've been here and we're here again. Like, and I think that it's just this like duality of holding space for both and recognizing that like me judging myself is not helpful. And so I Like halfway through the weekend I was like, what if we just did what we needed to do to take care of ourself today?

Mm-hmm.

And instead of how could we be the most productive and like I need to make every little minute of this free weekend count. And here instead of focusing on the things that I'm not doing and not getting done and not being productive, what I really need is I need to rest. I need to go on a long walk and talk with Matthew. I need to read a book. I need to take a nap with Piper because that's what I needed to do that day. And I think that when I'm struggling with my mental health, I try to push through it with productivity and I disguise that as making it feel better. But sometimes I just need to just unplug and just chill for a bit.

Yeah.

So my weekend was okay, but just continuing to learn more ways to take care of myself. So yeah.

Yeah, thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry it was such a heavy weekend. I feel like—

Okay. It can be also—

yeah, yeah, it can be hard though whenever— I don't know if this happens to you, but whenever you know so much about mental health and the things that you should be doing or whatever, and then in that moment you're just like— it's just an array of feelings where you're You know what you're feeling, you know what you're supposed to be doing, you know you're going to be okay, but then you don't feel okay. And it's like the frustration of, well, in this moment I have these very real feelings I can't shake off and I just want them to be gone. And that can be really heavy.

Yeah.

But I'm really proud of you for letting yourself sit in those and letting yourself feel all the feels. And it's such a hard part of life is letting ourselves feel all the joy and beautiful feelings and then also letting ourselves feel the depthness of our emotions in life. And so I'm proud of you, and thank you for, for sharing and being such a great example for everyone to, to process through everything.

Thank you, I appreciate that. It's definitely a learned practice, and something that helped was getting out of the house on Sunday. Matthew and I went to a coffee shop and brought a book, and I brought my laptop because I was like, well, you know, if I just get this itch to get some stuff done— and I was like, no, Alexis, what we really need is we need to here, we need to drink our matcha, and we need to just read a book and just exist.

Just be.

And I think, yeah, just letting yourself be, especially when you are high achieving or you have a lot of goals. So I'm just learning to really integrate the 2 pieces. I know we talk about that a lot on the podcast, but like, okay, I need to integrate more stillness and more being stationary instead of this go, go, go. But All in all, I'm feeling better this week, feeling a bit more grounded. And with that, what do you feel like you're in between now that you're officially 29?

29, the last year of my 20s. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I am in between decades. Uh-huh. Well, honestly, I think for a while now I've been thinking and brainstorming on wanting to move to a different city for some time. I tried living in Dallas this past year for a month, and that was such a beautiful experience. And for a multitude of reasons, it just doesn't line up for me to do a full year type of thing. For next year just because of my business and all that stuff. And so I actually was chatting with my boyfriend yesterday and he was like, well, basically it came to be where he was like, what if you just did Europe abroad? Because I have to go in June to Italy for a wedding. I don't have anything in July. I don't have anything till August. And so he's like, if you don't have the time and space to take multiple months, but you have those 2 months and maybe you just do a European summer. And so that has been lingering in my mind and I'm really, really playing with that. It feels very much in alignment. And I think when I think about the financial investment that it would've been to go to any other city, I would much rather spend that money in Europe and it would be much cheaper too in other ways. And so I am in between, I guess, pushing myself out of my comfort zone for what that looks like for next year. And I have always wanted to do a summer abroad and I feel like the opportunity is there, my schedule's there, and also I can pick up more work there as well. A few of my couples are interested in doing Italian engagement sessions. And so yeah, I'm in between letting that sink in and not freaking myself out of living the whole living abroad situation.

Yeah, that is so exciting. And it's like, The shift in where your priorities are and what, what makes sense on the investment side, but what makes sense on the growth side. Like when I did, uh, 5 weeks last summer in Europe, there was just so much growth and confidence that came out of that experience. And so extended travel is just amazing. And so it's like, how can you shift this desire? From wanting a different environment and wanting to kind of shake things up a bit, how can you shift that into, okay, well, this is kind of aligning over here, so what would it look like to allow myself to really explore it? When maybe you were thinking of it this way, you can still access it, but just in a different container. So I am amped and so happy for you.

Thank you. We love having people in our lives that challenge us. I feel like A lot of my friends have been challenging me on that lately. And then it just kind of came together where my boyfriend's just like, he's such a problem solver, which I love. But sometimes I'm like, you just actually need to listen to me.

Yeah.

And then this was one thing where he's like, well, you loved it. Like, well, why not? And why not? And he's— he just has a why not attitude. And so we love him for it. And so, yeah, I'm excited. I'm welcoming all the tips, all the things, and I'll keep you all posted. If it does happen and if you are interested in an Italian session, you let me know because we could definitely— I mean, for sure I'm going to be there. I just don't know how long I'll be there. That's exciting.

You can also go to different countries too that are a little bit cheaper and then fly back because inter-Euro travel is so much cheaper. So, okay, let's take this offline because I am so excited.

You're like, here's your itinerary. I want to help you. Okay.

What am I in between? That's an exciting in between, by the way.

Thank you.

Maybe one of the best in betweens one can have, I would argue. What am I in between right now? I'm in between— this is very raw because Astrid and I and our 2 girlfriends just had a mastermind this morning where I was just sharing some different points of clarity that I'm experiencing in my life and my career. And I'm in between layers of clarity. And I think that when you experience clarity, you're like, okay, I know, and I'm going to know this and it's not going to change. I think that I am learning that clarity can come in layers. And so while I experienced an extreme amount of clarity last month, the more that things evolve and change and you're kind of a different person every single day based on what's happening and unfolding and pivoting. Like every day really is different and it's such a gift. And sometimes I hold myself like— I'm trying to figure out how to explain this. But let's say I had clarity a month ago. I will claim that. For a very, very long time instead of allowing the clarity to evolve how it needs to evolve with new information, with different feelings, with different processing. And sometimes I'm like, well, I have that clarity, I gotta stick to it. And I can be very rigid with my clarity. And so I am learning that when I have clarity and when I'm making decisions, there is always an opportunity for that to shift. shift and pivot and evolve. And that's okay. And I think why I struggle with this is I don't want to be a wishy-washy, indecisive person.

Mm-hmm.

And when I flip or I have clarity last month and I want to do something different this month, like, that is a sign to me that I'm like, okay, am I consistent? I'm a steady person. I'm someone that, like, you know, I think switching things up too much makes me feel inconsistent. And I think that that's not a bad thing when you're in a season of a lot of change, if that makes sense. So it's like—

Oh, absolutely.

Holding space for being a steady person and also holding space for allowing things to shift very quickly when they need to shift instead of being like, well, I got to stay and sit in this because I made that decision last month. And so I need to play this all the way out. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. I feel like clarity is just one of those things that can also bring— we're seeking peace, we're seeking security and control. And so when we get the clarity, we're like, okay, I no longer need to stress about this, or this is what I'm deciding, this is what I'm moving forward in. And it can be hard to let it evolve because that means we have to go back to not the drawing board, but we do have to go back to evaluating the situation, evaluating what we want to do.

Yeah.

who we want to be, what decisions we want to make. And that can be honestly very draining.

Yeah.

And so when you already have a lot going on and you— the situation perhaps, like if there's multiple layers of clarity on a specific situation, I feel like it's just normal to feel very exhausted. Like where you're just like, I don't know. I remember whenever I was going through my stuff with my previous partner and my divorce and I just felt like I would get clarity and then something would happen with their actions where I was like, oh well, now I need to go back and reevaluate things because this is new information. And it's just so exhausting when you're doing it over and over and over again. But I love how you're reframing that to the wording of instead of I'm doing this all over again and I'm indecisive, I'm choosing to reframe that to I am evolving and getting closer and closer every time.

Yeah.

And that's so much— that holds so much power and that feels like progress rather than like, oh, I can't make a decision, or here I am again. Big time.

And like when you come— I think I'm just learning as I get older, and I know that I'm only 30, but as I get older, I am not adding so much weight to certain things. where I'm like, oh my gosh, like, this means everything. Does it? Does it really? Or can you change your mind? Can you pivot? Like, yes, there are certain decisions that you make that are for a lifetime, I believe.

Mm-hmm.

Or you hope they're for a lifetime. But it's like I'm not getting anything tattooed on me. You know? I guess you can get that removed too, but I'm just saying, like, instead of everything feeling so high stakes, high pressure, everything's weighted so heavy. It's like, can I lower the stakes? Can I turn down the dial? Can I lower the pressure and just like take a step back and realize that no matter what happens or how this unfolds, I'm gonna be okay? And like, that belief is stronger than whatever could evolve out of some other situation. Does that make sense?

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I love that we're talking about that.

Just like light, light things.

Yeah, just light things. Like, I feel like that could be a whole episode, honestly. That would be a really great discussion on how to navigate that. Um, because even as people start making decisions and choices for next year, it's hard to get that clarity. It's hard to navigate the layers of clarity to make those decisions, and it can be paralyzing. So let's table and put a pin on that one because I, I would love to have more of a conversation on that. But thank you for sharing. I, I love that insight and that reframe.

Thank you. I am— I would love to have a deeper convo about that on the pod. Um, but let's shift into de-influencing. I feel like we always do such hard— we're like, and hard right, we're going into the topic today.

It's balanced.

It is balanced. It's balanced. Um, okay, so de-influencing. We kind of started the episode talking about this, but how do we recognize what we have normalized. We want to kind of de-influence ourselves and say, that's really not something I have to have, something I need to buy, something I need to do. So we're going to start on the life side. We each have our own like things that we're trying to de-influence ourselves on, and then we'll shift over into the business side of things. Do you want to go first? Because I think our— I think that we might have one that's the same that we can both extend on or expand on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My first one is de-influencing the fact that I may think that I need the newest, the latest, the greatest, as far as clothes or things for my house or things for personal use, makeup, etc. It's almost big FOMO of, am I having the right skincare? Am I having the right makeup? And then, okay, well, this will be it. Or this is the outfit that I really want for this specific thing. And to tie it back On a deeper note, I feel like I've been able to get better at not overspending and not feeling like I need to do that because I've realized that a lot of my identity was on, when it came to clothes, on, well, I always look put together. And it's a weird thing where when you look put together and people reinforce that and they're like, oh yeah, you're just always so put together. And I— you always have the best outfits and you always have the thing. You almost kind of put some pressure on yourself of like, I need to have the newest, the latest, the greatest, because I got to show up as that, right? Or I'm a creative, like I got to have the fun, unique outfits. And so I am de-influencing that because it was causing me to consistently shop or consistently be like, oh, now like loafers are in, so now I'm going to like buy these. Or now like the Uggs platforms are in, which I do want, but just because I want them. I also want them, okay? Nick's mom asked what I wanted for Christmas. I was like, Sendlink. Platforms, please. But yeah, I feel like part of de-influencing too is when you feel like you're buying something that scratches an itch where you're just like, oh, now I've— now I look more put together. Now this is what I was missing. I feel like that's where the dangerous part comes in because it never really truly goes away. It's just a little high for the moment.

Yeah, big time. I couldn't— I could not agree more. I think a lot of that comes to, like you mentioned, being fashionable, being creative, having people compliment like, I love your style, you're so put together. It kind of creates this pressure or this standard that we need to keep up. In that same vein, it comes down to the content that we're consuming as well. So one of mine is I am de-influencing, and I really do feel like this is something that I have done a decent amount this year is de-influencing shopping for every new occasion or trip. I do not need a new outfit for every single trip or occasion. Like when I went to Europe for a couple weeks this summer, I did not shop for that trip. And I was so proud of myself.

That's right.

Like, okay, I am rewearing all of my things and I am not shopping for Europe. Like I have enough in my closet. To be able to go do whatever I need to do, and I think that when you're consuming a lot of content around the latest trends or what's popular, you want to like lean into that. And I think there's a part of that that's natural, and there's a part of that that's like, okay, do I really need to you know have that new coat or you know have that new look or whatever it is? So I have been focusing on financial stability. And having a massive chunk of savings like that makes me feel very, very comfortable versus like, oh, I'll put this on credit and then I'll pay it off later. It's like, no, you know, like if we don't have this amount of money in our debit and like in our checking account, then there's no reason that we should be buying it on credit aside from points. Like, so it's like getting used to buying decisions that are rooted in like, this is something I have saved for. This is something I, know that I have wanted for, you know, 6 months and now I'm at a point where I want to invest in it. I'm not saying never shop, don't ever buy new things. It's like holding yourself accountable to the root of like why. And when you're so influenced to buy things on social media specifically, it's like, okay, I need to take a beat. I need to scroll past. I need to show— I need to say I'm not interested in this anymore and kind of start to refine the content that you're consuming. so that you aren't being influenced to normalize a 20-piece— I watched a 20-piece Abercrombie haul and I was like, that's $1,500 right there. That's not necessarily normal. And we can't hold ourselves to those standards or have the income to keep up with that cyclical Amazon Prime and just Here's my Amazon favorites list. I am not bashing any of that. Go get your bag. Okay? And I think as consumers, we have a responsibility to decide where we put our money and what we invest in. And we do not need every hot thing that's on someone's Amazon buy list. And I'm talking to myself here. So I add to cart, screenshot, and then I abandon cart. That's my goal. That's my new strategy. I love that. I'll add it and then I'll screenshot it. And if I'm still thinking about it weeks later, I'll go back and buy it.

Yes. Oh, I love that so much. I feel like being able to really give yourself some time to not impulse buy is something that really does help to narrow that down. Um, next on my personal side of de-influencing is I am de-influencing the pressure to give everyone a big birthday gift or go all out on Christmas, or even feel the pressure that I have to give everyone something for Christmas. And so coming from a Hispanic household, we really, really prioritize gifts. It's like a love language. And it's like, I really thought of you, here's this. And no one ever really expects something big, but I just like to— I love a surprise element. I love being like, oh, well, just, it's on me. You know, like, I got this, no worries. And so I— Feel like I have played into that role for a while now. And there's been a few comments too where it's like, oh yeah, well, she can do this. Or like, oh, I can't wait for my next birthday because like your gifts are always so great, like within my family. And so I think that whenever there's years where finances— maybe I'm saving for something specific or like things are just a little bit tighter, whatever it might be— being able to say, okay, like I am not giving gifts this year. So for example, I actually just bought a car, a new car. And of course that was a bigger expense. And it's just been, I'm like saving a lot for next year. I just really want to be extra cautious. And so this year I have chosen that I am not going to be participating in giving Christmas. And I am a single income household and I don't know why I have put this pressure on myself. the past few years that I need to give everyone— I mean, there's 15 people in my family— that I have to give everyone in my family a gift. And that is a lot of money. So we have to just be able to adjust that and also say like, okay, if I want them to feel thoughtful or thought about, could I host them for dinner? Could I write everyone a really sweet letter? Could we go out for coffee and have more quality time? Something like that.

Yeah.

And so yeah, it has been a harder one for me to actually act on. And it was something that actually one of my brothers did on a year that he was saving for a house. He was the first one in the family to be like, hey, you can give us gifts if you want, but just so you know, we're not giving anyone gifts, so we don't expect you to give us anything. And I really love him for that because now I am following suit.

I love that. Yeah, that's a big one because Christmas, birthdays, You can, depending on like your family structure, my family's also very, very big into Christmas and big into birthdays and into gift giving. It's actually one of my love languages. So—

Yes.

It's been influenced by my family structure of gifts. And I'm really proud of you for recognizing that that's not something that is sustainable for you, is something that is realistic for you. And it's also something that you've recognized there's other ways to have quality experiences with the people you love outside of gift giving that does not require like hundreds and hundreds of dollars. This year actually is the first year on my side of the family, like my immediate family, that we're drawing names. And we're drawing one name and we have a set budget and we only buy for that person and we do not buy for anyone else in the immediate family. And that's it. That's hard.

And it's new.

It's new for me. And, you know, my mom and I were talking about it too. She's like, this is going to be kind of hard because I want to buy for everyone. And I think that it'll be a nice practice for us to focus on like a quality, meaningful gift and also not the expectation of, you know, there's a lot of money spent and sometimes expectations that come along with gift giving around the holidays. So good on you, girl. I'm proud of you.

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, I think especially around Christmas and whenever your siblings are getting older, everyone has different incomes, different things. It can also be really hard when someone gives something much larger than the other person to maybe the same nephews or nieces and you're just like, oh, okay, this is different.

Right.

So on my side of things, it's like, well, I can always for someone's birthday, no one's giving anything back. I would rather go bigger on their birthdays. and make them feel so special. And then Christmas is just a no. So if anyone needs this permission, here you go. You do not need to gift-give this Christmas. Does this mean that you and I aren't exchanging gifts this year?

I'm kidding.

Okay.

My last one for de-influencing is the perfectly aesthetic home. So I think that there is this desire to want, and I love beautiful things. I love architecture. I love design. I love quality furniture. I love art. Like, I love all those things. And there are going to be rooms and closets and places in my home that are just not aesthetic because they're functional, because they're efficient, because I don't have the money or the energy to invest in hiring someone or doing it myself. Like, I think that when we follow— again, this kind of goes into the content you're consuming, but When you're following influencers and people that you really admire and you see these homes that they have, you're like, wow, why does my bedroom not look like that? Why does my office not look like that? Why does my whatever not look like that? My laundry room. My laundry room is 4 white walls, a washer and a dryer, and a little shelf for my laundry detergent and my steamer and my iron. You know, like I don't have this full built-out laundry room and I think it's awesome if you do. But my point is here is like, don't pressure yourself to have things that other people have in their homes just because we've normalized that when recognizing like, wow, that's a $4,000 oven.

Yeah.

Oh wow, that's like that remodel with their furniture and everything they did, that was $10,000. Okay.

Wow.

That like really puts things into perspective. And I've just been working on this because Matthew and I have been in Houston now for a year and a half. And there are certain rooms and places in our homes that we've just slowly been adding to and like upgrading. But we do it like every quarter, we'll like make a little change. And I think that's just not normalized enough.

Mm-hmm.

And so if you are feeling stressed about your, the aesthetics of your home, It's okay. And there's always going to be comparison there if we allow it. So can you de-influence yourself away from the desire to have everything look perfect? Because it just doesn't need to. And I think it's a really difficult pressure to put on yourself.

Absolutely. I love this one because it's actually one I've really struggled with as well, where I feel like oh, like, I'm a creative and I love design. I love all these things. And so when someone comes to your home, it feels like it's a representation of you, right? And so when everything's not the way that you want it to be, that can feel really hard. And also, is that the way that we want to invest our money right now? Is that the way— like, I would rather travel. I would rather buy specific things. Like, I would rather buy a car. Like, there's just a lot of other things that are more important. And styles come and go.

Yes.

And so I love that you talk about this because it is one of those things where over time there's been this pressure to have like the perfect home and especially with social media and aesthetics, but it is not a need.

Correct. Correct. Okay. Let's shift over to the business side. Things that we are de-influencing ourselves with. Well, was there anything else on the life side for you?

Um, no, not really.

Okay. Yeah, let's shift over to the business side of things that we're trying to de-influence in our businesses, in our careers.

I love this. I feel like we could have a game where we just go like, you just go really fast and start like spitting things out and I could go all day on business. But the first one that I picked out is I am de-influencing the fact that every expense is not an investment. And so a lot of times people will use the excuse of, well, it's a tax write-off, it's fine. Like, go do this, it's a tax write-off, right? And people think that like if you spend $3,000 and you owed $10,000 on taxes, now you owe $7,000. That's not how it works. There's only a percentage of the money that you spend that actually gets reduced from that. So as a business owner, if you are justifying every expense as, well, it's good for the business and it's an investment, and it's not making you money or making your work better or helping you in any way, and it's just like, oh, this other entrepreneur did this, or this other girl did this, and it seems like it could work for me, then it could hurt you. And so I think that's important to be able to stay focused on your budget and be able to focus on specific things. So for example, as I grow my business, there's a lot of things that I want to invest in. There's a lot of things I want to invest even in my office home, like be able to adjust a little bit more my home studio. And right now what I'm really looking at is to buy a film camera, and film is very expensive, but that's a service that I'm looking to start offering for my clients. So it's an expense that is going to make me more money, and that I just need to focus my expenses into that. I don't need a new camera bag. I don't need a new strap. I don't need new, like whatever it might be that's like cute and trendy for photographers, just stick down to basics. And so, um, yeah, I think as business owner, we can do a lot of, um, not girl math, but business math and be like, yeah, it's a write-off. It's fine. I'll be fine.

I think in that too, this is not one of mine, but something I'll mention is sometimes we think that we need that next coaching program, that next course, that next like education investment, and sometimes we actually don't. Like, yeah, if you are hopping from investment to investment or coach to coach, course to course, I would really challenge you to sit in and lean into what you can learn from each individual resource instead of like overload yourself with so much that you're investing with on the education side that like maybe you haven't finished the course, maybe you can lean into the coaching a bit more before hiring someone else. So I think that we can justify that with the tax write-off and say like, oh, this course, that's whatever, is a tax write-off. But could you be doing yourself a disservice by overwhelming your system, your internal system, with like too much information, too much like education, when sometimes we need— we do need space to implement. We need space to actually put what we're learning into practice. And when we're investing and, you know, someone's launching their next program, their next mastermind, their next whatever, you want to jump on it because there's this urgency. Have you learned enough or have you, have you actually implemented what you learned in the last thing? So yeah, I'll get off my soapbox there, but I do feel like that's a heavy thing in the business world that we can be influenced into. And it's like, you gotta hold yourself accountable for that.

Absolutely. The chronic buying of courses. And if there's, photographers listening, the chronic buying of presets. Like, oh, this preset is what's going to fix all my work. And now I'm going to be there because they're there. And it's like, no, you just got to learn how to work your camera really well and learn your craft well. And then you'll be able to make any type of preset work because you know how to work it. So I love it. We're here for all the hot takes.

My other one around this was content, de-influencing content that's trendy, but doesn't really align with you. And I think we see so many different trends in business and how to, how to promote yourself, how to share, how to create content about your business or, or your product or your service. And there are going to be certain things in the industry that just aren't going to hit that, but you feel like you have to do them because they're trendy. So you don't have to dance on camera. You don't have to lip sync. You don't have to point, you know, and put text up there if that's not really what you want to do. There are other ways to use your voice, share your story, share the value of what you offer without having to do something that's trendy that really doesn't fit. Now, if you love that and you find energy in that content, create all day. I love that for you. But we can hold— I think there's an opportunity for us to de-influence things that are popular in online marketing that really don't fit for us and we want to do things differently. And I think that's absolutely okay and we should give ourselves space to do that and to allow that to be okay versus being like, well, this is what's like— this is what's trending right now. I need to hop on so that I can be relevant. And I just think that your audience is going to connect with you and feel your energy when you're speaking your most authentic voice. Not when you're trying to act like someone else or market like someone else. It's just not going to connect like it could if it was really coming from your true self. Yeah.

And your audience will feel it when it's not truly you. It's like, whoa, I can tell that you're not comfortable in doing this. And by all means, try all the things. But I love being able to release the pressure that you need to be doing exactly what other people in your industry are doing because also that's not going to make you stand out.

Exactly.

That leads me to my next one. Actually, I changed my last one as we were evolving in the podcast.

Okay.

But a big one that I've actually been working on this season is the frequency that we post to social media and de-influencing that you are not a great entrepreneur or you're not on top of your marketing because of that. And so I just want to come out and say, like, posting to social media is not a marketing strategy, actually. Like, being able to create a full marketing strategy that funnels in, or like when people go and see your Instagram, is it truly reflective of your work, is so much better. And so I have released the pressure to even post all of my sessions. First of all, I don't have the time to— like, I've shot so much, and every post I try to be very thoughtful about it. Like, there's just a lot that goes into it. It takes me about an hour and a to post, create the caption, do all the things. And so whenever there's already a lot going on, it's just not doable. And so I have released the pressure that my clients will be mad at me if I don't post their session. It's like, no, they want a quality service. They want a quality thing. I love all my clients. I am proud of every work that I do. I'm sure I'll be posting a lot of it throughout the winter months as well. And as a business person, I am just narrowing down what are the things that right now, as people are engaged and moving along in the journey of inquiring, that are going to move the needle and that are going to make them inquire right away. And those are the ones that I'm posting out there, and it's turning into great work and great inquiries. So it's okay to not— to not— to release that pressure.

Yeah.

And also just work smarter and be more strategic with the time that you do have and the posts that you do make.

Yeah. So if you can, if you can commit to posting twice a week, how do those 2 posts really reflect the kind of clients you want to attract, the work you do, the experience that you provide, the value you provide versus I need to post on my feed every single day. I need to create 2 reels a day. Like we are not machines. And I love that you said posting on social media is not a strategy. Really, it's a tactic. It's a tool, but it's not a strategy. And so when you can take that away and say, okay, I don't need to have this pressure to be posting every single day, I do think that there's ways to be visible. So showing up on stories and things like that daily where people still feel like, you know, you're visible. There's an element of you being relevant, top of mind. But when it comes to your feed, it's almost like treating it a bit more like a portfolio. of your work and less of like, I need to be posting every single day. Because it's a really difficult— it's difficult to create high, high quality, I think, content every single day on the feed. It's just difficult to keep up with. And especially if you're one person, you know, like you're a solopreneur, you have a small team, like unless that's someone's full-time job, maybe, but you have other revenue generating things to be working on. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think your voice gets kind of watered down or like, Things just become very mid whenever people can tell that you're just posting and getting through it and doing the thing.

Great work.

Rather than doing less but doing it better where it has better impact. People are like, oh wow, this is what you do. This is who you are. Yes, I want to work with you. And at the end of the day, if Instagram or social media is a tool for your marketing strategy in order to get more sales, Then why would we just water it down to check the boxes of I post consistently to social media? So let's de-influence that for 2024.

Bless you and amen. I appreciate you bringing that up. That's huge. And I honestly like that. I needed to hear you say that. Like I needed that. So thank you. My last one is de-influencing quitting the 9 to 5 to be a full-time entrepreneur. So I say this with so much regard. I have been a full-time entrepreneur. I'm currently in a full-time role on the W-2 side. And I think that so much content out there romanticizes and normalizes being an entrepreneur. And I just believe that there is a time and a place and a season to quit your full-time 9 to 5.

Mm-hmm.

And so I guess this is more so don't quit before you're ready and don't allow outside influences to push you to quit the 9 to 5 or to like resent it or demonize it. Like I see sometimes there's content of like, oh, corporate or the 9 to 5. It's like, no, one, you're actively choosing that. So let's take some ownership. And 2, I believe that that is stability. You are able to pay off debt. You are able to pay your bills. So let's not resent stability. And so how can we like kind of rework this in our brains of like, I recognize that being an entrepreneur is such a gift and maybe a side hustle is a side hustle and maybe the full-time job is the full-time job and that's okay.

Yeah.

And so I think because of that, like there's so many influencers and people quitting their jobs and like I love that and I think it's amazing and there's There's more money in the market and there's more opportunity than ever before. And it's okay if that's not for you. It's okay if that's not for you right now. It's okay if that's not your season. And just own the fact that you are on your own path. And while it's inspirational, it does not have to be something that you feel this pressure to do for yourself until you're really ready.

Yeah. Oh, I love this so much because it's almost like social media has painted entrepreneurship as better than. And it is not better than. I think you can still be an intrapreneur in whatever realm you're in. If you're in medicine, if you're in science, if you're— the world needs every single role out there. It just needs people that are committed to their work and are doing the thing that they love or that they want to be really, really good at and do it well.

Yeah.

And so I think a lot of people feel the pressure to own their own business because a lot of people are making great money from it and they are having the freedom and the travel. And that is still very much things that you can have within companies that are more modern, that offer flexibility for working remotely, that offer great compensation, that will pay you for your ideas and you're an employee. And so it's not for everyone. And I love that you brought this up because it's so true. I feel like out of every 10 videos I see on social media, one will be about quitting your job and why it's so much better. And while I love being an entrepreneur, it is very, very hard. There's a lot of pressure on you. You have financial pressure, you have vision pressure, you have like customers. Like there's a lot of things to navigate. And if that's not for you, then like why not just let a company handle all of those big basically backend processes of a company so you can really thrive in your skills. You can really zero in on like what you're amazing at. And being able to then come home and disconnect and be a full present person in your day-to-day life. So, fantastic take.

Different paths are okay. They're not better. It's just what's your path and can you focus on really owning the path that you want that's not something that's being influenced externally? But I've loved this episode. I love hot takes. I love getting into all the weeds and saying things that people might disagree with. I love it.

I'm ready. I'm ready. Oh my God.

Yeah, I'm ready to fight. No, please don't fight me and please don't yell at me in the DMs. But if this episode resonated with you, please leave us a review on either Spotify or iTunes. They mean the world to us. Or you can also DM us on Instagram @inbetween.pod. Sorry if you can hear this very loud train that's in the background here.

Sound effects.

Yeah, sound effects. Yeah, you can reach out to us on Instagram @inbetween.pod. Let us know what you're being de-influenced on right now. What are you saying no to? What are you saying, I'm taking this back and I'm not going to participate? Would love to hear that. And then if you want to connect with me personally, you can do that @alexisteichmiller on Instagram.

Or you can connect with me @astrojohannaphoto on Instagram. We will chat with you next time.