Navigating the End of Year Stress and Burnout

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between. Hello, friends. Hey friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. It is one half of the pod, Alexis.

And the other half, Astrid. And today I am so excited for this topic. I feel like this has been a really crazy time for a lot of people in work or even with the holidays, just gearing up for all the events. And so really what we're going to be chatting through today is Some tips and tools that you can take whenever you find yourself in such a stressful season or whenever you're inching towards burnout, being able to identify what are those things that are popping up for you, how we can get ourselves through that. Because honestly, it can be such a scary time where everything—

you just feel like you're drowning.

Yeah. So we're going to share some takes from both of our lives, some ways that we cope with stress, some ways that we identify when burnout is creeping around the corner, and then really just sharing those with you as tools that hopefully you can use as well.

Yeah, I'm excited about this topic because we had, we had a topic, um, a podcast episode that came out in late September on non-negotiables during a busy season, and that was a really popular episode. I'll actually link that in the show notes if you want to take a listen to it. But this is kind of going a bit deeper of like, okay, you've tried your non-negotiables during a busy season and you're edging into burnout or you are just experiencing chronic burnout. Astrid and I have both experienced different levels of this in different seasons of our own lives. So I think this is a really important topic and it's like in the vein of mental health mixed with like it's a busy time of year mixed with like it's Black Friday. There's just so much going on. And so I wanted to take a— I'm glad we're taking a pause to just check in and say, okay, how can we take care of ourselves? But before we dig into today's topic, let's do a little weekend update. How was your weekend? I feel like you were in an editing cave. I feel like I saw that on Instagram stories.

Yes, this honestly, this, this topic is very timely. I am coming with fresh research for you from first experience. Oh my gosh. Um, no, yeah, I mean, I, I knew I was gonna be editing some this weekend, but I had a little bit of a tragic situation happen where I edited a full wedding on Friday night, um, and it was 1,500 images. I went to export it and all my edits deleted and reset it. So as I was exporting, and so thankfully I had like somewhat of a base done because I work with my outsourcer. So I had already saved all my sneak peeks. I had saved the work that she had done. But even whenever I sent to my outsourcer, I still spent 6 hours on that wedding on top of that to get it to where I wanted to for my client. So yeah, so I lost all of that. And then I had to really, really coach myself. And like my not so pretty side came out where I was like, so frustrated, so mad. And just like, now I realize my weekend was shot because I already had to edit. So it was just a lot of coping. And I won't get ahead of myself because a lot of those things are tools that I'll share later on in the podcast of like how I navigated that and how I work through that.

Yeah.

But, um, yeah, so I just had to suck it up and be like, okay, well, let's Let's restart. And I just broke it up into chunks and found 1-hour breaks here and there to still do weekend things and feel a little bit normal. And so that helped. And then I just had to let go of the resentment. I feel like my least nice side comes out during that time.

Totally.

And it's hard when everyone around you is having a beautiful weekend and they're like, want to come out? Want to do this? Or like, oh, let's— and then you're just stuck in work. Um, and so, which I never feel stuck in work, but it was more the whole restarting 1,500 images.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, I cannot imagine.

So yeah, that was my weekend, but we recouped and then honestly it all worked out how it needed to because I was able to get even more of like perfectionist with that gallery. And then I just kept the flow rolling and went into more and more galleries. And then that energy then led to like, okay, I want to have a Sunday reset. So I reset my whole house. I was like, you know what? We're just going to make it a productive weekend. And I just went all in, went to bed really early on Sunday, and then restarted yesterday. So we got ourselves back on track mentally.

I am proud of you, girl. That is crazy. And I feel you on when things go wrong, you do everything that you can, you get the work done, and then something goes wrong. That frustration, that anger, that like, what? Like, that is so real. I mean, that is just a part of the human experience, I think.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's just, I think too, even with today's topic, whenever something like that happens that's unexpected, and you're already so stressed, you're already like strapped for time, you've already had a crazy week where you feel like you can barely breathe from everything. and you're looking forward to that moment of like, okay, I can breathe on Saturday, and it doesn't happen, just being able to navigate yourself through that is a challenge. But it doesn't mean that we're not capable of it. And I just had to really pull on those tools to be like, okay, let's recenter and focus. So I'm so excited for this episode. But how was your weekend?

Well, I hate to tell you, but it was really good.

I'm glad. I really am.

We had our Friendsgiving, our first Friendsgiving in Houston, and I was such a little sentimental, like girly about it. I was like, I was like, oh my gosh, like look at all these people in our house. And we just, you know, this time last year we only had the friends that we knew when we moved here and they had already had established lives. And, you know, we were just kind of like coming in to establish this new life for ourselves in Houston. And so yeah, we had our first Friendsgiving. It was so much fun, and I actually had a good time. And I wanna, I wanna like, I wanna highlight this because I think when you're hosting and you're planning and that's the personality that you are, which is me, I think that sometimes if you're like me, we don't allow ourselves to be present in the moments that we plan. So we plan them and we are like so intentional, we want everyone else to have a good time, but then we are like, okay, is everybody having a good time? Like, we, we are so focused on what's going on and the moment of making sure everybody else is good and happy that like we aren't necessarily like present in the moment, if that makes sense. So I really challenged myself this weekend to not get stressed I, I like prepped things on Friday night and I was listening to music and like Matt and I cleaned the house and I was like, you know what, if it gets done, it gets done. Like we, I've spent so much time on these freaking deviled eggs and deviled eggs are so hard to peel like the, the shell off. And I know this is like first world problems, but I spent all this time and I got, like we got the kitchen island with all the food. Everyone brought a dish. The food was so good. I, we like play a game. Everyone's having a good time. I open up the fridge, forgot to pull the deviled eggs out for dinner. And I was like, I was like, you know what? We're rolling with it. We're having dessert deviled eggs, baby.

Yeah.

And we literally just pulled the deviled eggs out and people were eating them for dessert. It was amazing. Like it was so fun. And then we played Fishbowl, that like charades game. We had such a good time. Matthew and I vibed out on Sunday. Like, we were just reflecting on how much we've both grown in the friendships in the community that we keep close to us.

Mm.

Such good vibes, such healthy people, funny, want to have a good time, but can also talk to you about deep things. Like, I'm just so proud of us for like cultivating those kinds of relationships. And Friendsgiving was a reflection of that. So yeah, I had a really lovely, really lovely time.

I love this so, so much for you. And I feel like it's a beautiful reminder as we step into holiday season that let's enjoy the process because it can feel so stressful. Like, oh, we gotta, you know, pop on over to 20 Thanksgivings and 20 Christmases. And what would it look like if we did the exact same thing but with a different mindset of being present and like, okay, let's put on Christmas music and make the food that we're going to take together and romanticize it. And I love, love that you did that with your Friendsgiving and were honestly just fully present in your life and not just waiting for the approval of others. You're like, I want to share my life with you. Here's how I want to host you. And that's beautiful. And just taking that time to reflect too on the community that you've built there because Making friends as an adult is hard.

Yeah.

And on top of that, finding people that are intentional and also fun and also like all these different layers of it. So props to you both for honestly like celebrating the hard work that it's taken to also put yourselves out there and cultivate those friendships.

Thank you. I really appreciate that. I, yeah, I just feel like I had my early part of November And later October, I was in like a little bit of a mental health rut, just feeling very low. And I feel myself coming out of that and it feels really nice and I'm just soaking up the happiness. So that's how I feel right now. Um, okay. Next little segment of the podcast before we dig into today's topic is the in-between. So if you're new to the podcast, we always share what we're in between right now because we believe that no matter what day, week, month it is, we are always in between or in the middle of something. A decision, a season, a thought. So with that said, what are you in between right now?

Well, I'm in between a lot, and since we're going to talk about work and burnout later, I'm just going to table those and go a little bit more on the lighter front for the in-betweens. So I've got two in-betweens that are a bit smaller, but one is I start. with a personal trainer tomorrow that I am so excited for. It's my first time going to a personal trainer. He coaches a lot of fitness people who compete basically. But I love that he coaches all different kinds of people. I want to be pushed more. Basically next year I want to feel like an athlete. A year from now whenever I'm stepping into my 30s, I want I want to feel strong. I want to feel very healthy. I want to just feel like I am starting my 30s and I'm my healthiest I've ever been. And I've realized that while what I've learned the past few years, and I got, I guess, some training whenever I was in my early 20s, it wasn't formal. It's worked for me. I don't feel challenged and I want the challenge. Also like the mindset part of being challenged and pushed and being like, no, you can do more. Like, let's go. Like, let's do this thing. And like have somebody else that has the expertise to do that with me. And so I'm a little nervous, but I am so excited. I start personal training tomorrow and it's like a new era. And then—

That's really exciting. I can't wait to hear all about it. I've actually been thinking about I've been thinking about doing the same thing because my gym is like a training gym and I, I see the same trainers all the time. Um, and I'm friends with some of them as well. And I've like been thinking maybe in the new year, like doing like a, I don't know, once or twice a week working with a trainer just to mix things up. But I think it's so good to shift up your movement routine. So I can't wait to hear how it goes.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so excited. I, Had like a little bit of, um, my health insurance went down. And so I was like, you know what, I'm gonna use this money to— I'm just gonna move it over and get a personal trainer one or twice. I'm gonna start once and then do twice a week. And yeah, I'm just really excited for this journey. And then the other in-between is that I got a new car. So I am in between, um, my old one, which I thankfully already sold, and an upgraded version, which I am so, so excited for.

Wait, you sold your car?

Yes, yesterday.

You sold the Kia Optima? Oh my gosh, congratulations! That's exciting.

Thank you. Yes, new year, new me, new car.

New car. I know, I'm like, I told Matthew, I was like, 2024 is the year that I get a new vehicle and I let go of my 10-year-old RAV4. I love her.

Oh, we gotta have a party for her. I told—

well, it's funny because I started 2023 being like, okay, I'm turning 30, the— my car is turning 10, like this is the year I'm gonna get a new car. And it didn't happen, and that's totally okay. But I'm like, next year it's freaking happening.

31 is the year. 31 is the year.

Uh, but that's exciting. 2 lovely in-betweens. Um, I would say I am in between mindsets where I think sometimes at the end of the year there's this desire to ramp up because you're like, okay, it's the end of the year. I want to finish strong. And then there's also this other part where you kind of want to wind down.

Mm-hmm.

And so I am fighting those 2 parts of myself where there's a part of me that's like, This has been a really amazing year. I've worked really hard this year. I feel like I tapped into a different work ethic this year, which has been amazing. And I— not that I'm tired, but I kind of feel that like energy of like, okay, we're shifting into holiday mode, you know? And then there's also this like business side of me that's like, okay, what are we doing between now and the end of the year to set ourselves up really well for January? So I'm in between navigating those 2 mindsets, pulling what I'm craving from winding down and then pulling what's necessary from finishing strong.

I love that. I feel like that is such a great in-between that a lot of entrepreneurs can relate to because we feel— it's not even the pressure, I would say. I would say we genuinely love it. We get excited about the new ideas and the new goals and the new things. And also you're like, okay, it's been a crazy year. How can I wind down? So I love what you said about pulling certain things from each section. And instead of being like, I got to go all in on these goals or all in on rest and just shut everything out, what would it look like if I just pulled my top 2 or 3 from here and my top 2 or just 1 from here and let's have a successful holiday season. And I feel like that is more sustainable at times than just going all in on one.

Yeah, agreed. And I think it's kind of me overcoming my all-or-nothing personality and recognizing like I can pull a little bit from both. So with that said, speaking of pulling, let's pull ourselves out of burnout. Okay, so I Do you want me to start with kind of like the article that I found about burnout?

Please. This is such a great article. I'm so excited for you to share this.

Okay. So I want to preface this by saying, I think that when you're experiencing different levels of burnout, it's, it's interesting because there's this aspect of you that's focused on stress. And then there's this aspect of you that's like, when can I no longer manage my stress? And then I think that's where, like, when you're burnt out, I kind of think of like a piece of burnt toast. It's difficult to like make a sandwich with it. You can still eat it, but it's not going to taste very good.

No, it's crispy. She's a crispy entrepreneur.

I had to get, I had to get some sort of like, you know, version of my, um, of my analogies in there. I can't find this article. Oh no.

Well, while Alexis finds that article, I feel like there are so many layers when it comes to this. And something that I loved when you were discussing this article is the different layers that it takes to get to burnout. And I think a lot of times we, we will confuse stress and just group it all together and be like, I'm burnt out when we've experienced stress for a long period of time and vice versa. Sometimes we are experiencing burnout and we can't walk ourselves back to where, okay, could it just be stress? And so being able to navigate what it is that and where it is that we are in the flow of things is necessary so we're able to be more proactive and say, okay, stress, I can manage this. Here's how I'm going to manage this and here's how I'm going to inch away from burnout. Or I'm recognizing the signs of burnout. Here's what I need to do to pull myself And it looks like we have our article back up and running.

I have located the article. Okay, so the 5 burnout stages— this is from a resource from Integrus Health. And so they break it out into these 5 stages. The first stage is the honeymoon stage. And so when you think about projects, or maybe you start a new job, you get a promotion, you're taking on more. There's this phase in your career where you're able to say, okay, I have energy, I have optimism, I can handle this. Maybe you're also feeling burnt out at home. Like there's different segments of life where you're feeling burnt out. But when you're starting out, you're like, okay, I have energy for this. I can take on any task. I feel like I can handle it. Phase 2 is the onset of the stress phase. So as the honeymoon phase dwindles, You begin to experience more stress, which is life, but not every second of your day is stressful, but it just feels a little bit more frequent. And you're like, okay, as this stage begins, you maybe are feeling a little bit more fatigued. You're feeling some, like maybe some mental stress and you're starting to lose a little bit of your focus. And then phase 3 is the chronic stress phase. This is interesting because I feel like I, at least in this season of my life, I bounce between like the onset of stress phase and then chronic stress. So I feel like I weave mostly in these 2 phases, just speaking on behalf of myself. But chronic stress is when the stress becomes more persistent or chronic. And as the pressure mounts, the stress is likely to consistently affect your workload. And so you might be feeling apathetic or indifferent. You're not completing your work on time. You're late for work or procrastinating tasks either at work or home. And socially, you may feel more withdrawn from normal work-related conversations. And in other cases, you might even like lash out, be feeling very angry, like having a hard time managing your emotions. And this can oftentimes follow us into our relationships. Phase 4 is the burnout phase. So this phase is when you've reached your limit and you can no longer function as you normally would. And I think that sentence is like, that's it. Like, that's what burnout— whenever I try to explain it, I'm like, I am not myself. I am not managing things. And I'm curious, like, for you, one of the signs that I realize that I have entered into burnout, even without my awareness, is I make— like, I will make small things very, very big because everything now feels big.

Yeah.

And I have no ability to measure What actually is a big deal and what is just like an inconvenience? Yeah.

Oh my gosh, you nailed it. And I, to be quite frank, feel like that's where my past week has landed. And it's been— it's also a very hard place to be at because you recognize that you maybe blew things out of proportion and it's caused by your stress, but you can't just eliminate it because you still have to get things done. And so the way that I see it is our cup is full. And then you add one more drop and it just overflows. And it can feel so overwhelming. And they can feel just like, okay, it wasn't the thing. It's just that I don't have the capacity for it. And that's actually one of the things that I have to share later on. I'll give more details into that. But communicating your capacity is huge for avoiding those scenarios or just being able to be more graceful with yourself.

Yeah, agreed. So, when you're in the burnout phase, problems at work begin to consume you to the point where you obsess over them. So, at times, you may also feel numb and experience extreme self-doubt because you might feel like you're in over your head, you can't manage things properly. And then physical symptoms may become intense, leading to chronic headaches, stomach issues, and gastrointestinal problems. Which I'm like, I've definitely experienced like stomach issues when I've been in burnout seasons. And your family and friends are definitely seeing like behavioral change in this. Um, and then habitual burnout phase. So if left untreated, burnout can become a part of your everyday life and eventually lead to anxiety and depression. And you can also begin to experience chronic mental and physical fatigue that prevents you from working. And I think some symptoms that I want to weave through here is exhaustion. Mentally and physically. Depersonalization. I thought this was really interesting. So this is a feeling of indifference, that numbness, and you become incredibly cynical and maybe even resentful of your work, your life, the situation that you're in. And then you reduce personal accomplishment and performance. So this tends to manifest when you feel your work is insufficient and you're incapable of performing. So then you lose pleasure in the work that you're doing and you start to feel like you can't accomplish anything positive. Like you're just kind of in this revolving door of like not feeling like you're enough. So anything that you even do accomplish, you don't celebrate it. You don't think that it's a big deal because you're running in this mindset of like, my cup is empty and I'm already not doing well.

Right.

So this accomplishment means less because I feel like I'm making up for what I haven't gotten done.

Yeah. And the feedback part too, I feel like gets even harder where you feel like the work that you're doing, it's either neutral or just like, okay, I got my work done. Even if somebody says it's fantastic. But then when somebody gives you feedback on something, it just feels detrimental and you take it so personal, right? And you're like, okay, well, is anything ever enough for this person? Or I feel very overwhelmed. Or like, am I not good enough? Like, am I not talented enough? And it's really not that part of the— it's, it's the overwhelm and the burnout that brings that into play. And I think for me, a big one is when I start basically disassociating. And that was one that was mentioned on the article of like, I shut down my emotions and I just like power through work. And I'm so like, okay, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? And you're almost in survival mode where you're like, I— there's been times I've forgotten to eat. There's been times where I will like set my alarm for 5 AM, roll out of bed, which I do not recommend this at all or condone this. But in burnout seasons, I'm like literally rolling out of bed at 5 AM, open the laptop, grab the coffee, go. And it just I just started dissociating because it's so against who I am. And so I love that the article mentions that portion because sometimes we don't even recognize that we're dissociating from ourselves.

Yeah. Something too that I've noticed in myself with burnout is I'll isolate because I don't know how to communicate the overwhelm. And also, like, so One of the reasons why I find myself in burnout, and I haven't too often this year, but is something that comes into play is my ego. Because I want to do it all. I want to say yes. I want to outperform. I want to take on all the projects and give. I want to take everything that you throw at me and I want to multiply it. and I want to kill it. And I think that when you— when your ego is getting in the way, like you do end up taking on too much and you've said yes to things in your personal life, you've said yes and committed to your family and friends, maybe you have a side hustle and commitments there, and then you have your main job, like whatever the situation is, and you take that ego and it's unchecked.

Mm-hmm.

I think that that for me is like a common denominator in a lot of the situations where I have felt burnout is I'm like, where have I overcommitted? Or where have I taken on more than I had capacity for? Where did I like say yes where I really should have said no here? That's leading to all of— not just like one area of overcommitment, but I'm talking like every area of my life is overcommitted. That's actually a me problem. And so I think like there's an aspect of burnout that I had to take personal responsibility for. I'll give you a very specific example. In 2018, I— well, let me— in 2017, there was an aspect of my job that was ramping up and doing a lot more travel when I worked at a company called ConvertKit. And I was very motivated by travel. I was in that season where like I was like, all I want is to be on an airplane. And that happened. And then it like happened and happened and happened and happened. And I was on like almost 60 flights in 2018. I was on a flight like every week for the whole year almost. That's a lot. So I was exhausted. And at the end of 2018, I had to come back to my team and say, hey, I know that I said yes to this in 2017. I want to roll it back and I want to see where can we say no a little more because I can't have another year like this year. And so I had to communicate that what I had committed to, I can no longer commit to. And that by saying yes to so much, I was not able to do other parts of my role to the ability that I wanted to. And so it's like, okay, in order for me to level out my performance, this is like what I need to say yes and no to. Can you help me prioritize? Can you hold me accountable? Can you call me out? Like really pulling my team in with me of like, and we had a very close-knit relationship, so it worked out great. But I think when you're in your workload, having managers, mentors, and people on your team who will support you, call you out, take things off your plate is really important. And I'm mostly speaking from like an employee perspective, but I had to take ownership for that. And then I had to go to my team again and take more ownership and say, I can't do this again. And so like, where can we use our voice and advocate for ourselves when we're in that season of burnout so that it doesn't continue.

I love that. Yeah. And I love the reflection of being able to come back and communicate that. And jumping on that line of communication and how to approach that when you are in a season of stress or burnout, something that I've realized is whenever we're already there, Being able to take the steps to tell the people around us, and also even apologize and be like, hey, I'm so sorry, I overbooked myself. And that's not fair to you. That's not fair to our relationship. That's not fair to our kids, insert the people in your life, and be like, okay, how can I, with my limited time, still make you feel valuable? How can we find pockets of time? And it's really the thought that I've realized counts. Whenever we've already reached the point where things are in our calendar that we can't remove, but being able to apologize and tell them, and then them seeing like, okay, you're still making time for it. It's fine. We'll make it work and shift things around. And also you're able to get the support that you need. And so this is really where our people pleasing selves need to take a backseat. Our ego needs to take a backseat and be able to reach out and say, I'm drowning. I need help. I can't cook tonight. I can't meal prep this week. I can't clean, so I am going to hire someone. Like, can we afford it on the budget to do this? I will need to say no to this social thing for this week. Like, can we reschedule with your parents for this other time? Being able to communicate with the people in your life is huge, and also having that open line is. essential because something that happens to me is my breathing gets really, really short and I don't even realize how much my chest starts getting really tight and I start breathing and just trying to catch my breath. And that's when I realize, okay, I'm on the verge. I got to reel it back in. And having people in my life be like, you're doing the breathing thing again. You have to take a step back. We're going to sit down and we're going to talk about the things that you're going to offload this coming week, is so helpful. They know the signs, I know the signs, and we're able to have that accountability also in the home life.

Yes, I think that's huge. I love what you said about there's an aspect of this that's like setting boundaries too. I think that communicating your needs is a way of setting a boundary where you're like, hey, I cannot commit to meal prepping this week. I cannot commit to helping you with the laundry. And there have been like short periods where I've been very busy and very stressed this year. And I'll enter that period. And this is something Matthew and I haven't always done. But I'm like, hey, this week, these are the things that I am not going to focus on. So if the house is messy or Like my, what I usually do, my normal activities seem to shift. I'm letting you know that that is just how it's going to have to be this week or for the next 2 weeks. And then we're going to ramp it back up and we're going to be back to business as usual, but by letting people in.

Mm-hmm.

And I think this is a part of like the burnout phase that we will keep to ourselves is because like those feelings of self-doubt, taking on too much, feeling overwhelmed. Feeling like, you know, why can't I manage it all? Why can't I do it all? Like, what's wrong with me? I should be able to. Like, look at what someone else is doing. They manage so much. Why can't I? Like, I think there's so many narratives that come up when we're burnt out. And when you can just talk to a friend, talk to your partner, a coach, a therapist, whoever it is, To help you navigate that, it's one step closer to building a team around you and like helping you move through that burnout so that you don't stay there. And I think that that's that's like how do you get out of it? You know, not just like I felt burnt out today. I felt burnt out this week. Like there were months of burnout and like almost adrenal fatigue for me, where I had to just like I almost had to d. I had to disconnect from where I was getting accomplishment. And I had to say, okay, my accomplishment now is me taking a shower. This is borderline a little bit of whenever I was walking through depression, but my depression was triggered by burnout. And so I'm like, okay, if I no longer find all of my accomplishment in my work, what could I find accomplishment in that was me taking care of me? So I'm going to move my body, I'm going to brush my teeth, I'm going to take a shower, I'm going to call a friend, I'm going to journal, I'm going to do things for myself. And that really helped me. I had to do that for a while, but it helped me out of that burnout. And I feel like it gave me perspective. And I think when we're in seasons of burnout, we kind of lose perspective of what we're doing. Do you ever feel that where you're like, okay, I'm so burnt out. What the heck am I doing? I chose this, but I'm unhappy or I'm overwhelmed or I'm stressed. What do I really want? Do you ever lose sense of self and sense of direction when you're burnt out?

Absolutely. Actually, that's one of the signs for me that it's gone from stress to burnout is I feel like when I am stressed, I am pretty good at creating a plan and being like, okay, this is what I'm going to do to move forward. But when I've approached burnout, it's almost like my brain doesn't work as well. And my focus is all over the place. And I literally could not focus for the life of me. And of course that causes more frustration because I need the time and it's causing me more time to not be focused. And it's just a circle of things that are happening. And so if this does happen to you, I feel like something that has helped me is being able to actually take time away from work, even if it's just 15 minutes, to step away from everything, to get fresh light, to refocus. And then I will put literal barriers with the things that are distracting me so that I can focus. So I'll put my phone across the room, I'll go on do not disturb, I'll close out my email, I'll close out the things. And actually, prior to that, the things that are most stressing me out, I will block those into my calendar of when I'm getting them done. Because sometimes the overload comes from thinking I have to do all these 20 things today rather than these are the 20 things I have to do today and these are exactly how I'll get them done. So all I have to do is just focus on this one thing right now for the next hour, and suddenly I feel like I can breathe better when it's more digestible.

There's also an aspect of that that I'm glad you brought that up around the pressure of having to get all of this done. Like, there's an urgency factor to stress that leads to that burnout of like always operating at the highest, highest, highest level. How do you navigate like that internal pressure? Being a high achiever, you always want to be operating at your best. Um, but we have different versions of what best looks like sometimes. So how do you navigate like that aspect of stress and burnout?

Such a great question. I've honestly been able to grow a lot in this area where before I just said I have to get everything done exactly when and how I have it on my to-do list. And now I've realized, even being a client myself, that if my photographer, for example, is— something happened or whatever, I wouldn't mind waiting 2 extra days as long as there's communication. And so I don't do that often, but in those seasons where it's like truly you're doing the best that you possibly can, see what are some things on your plate that you are able to ask for an extension for. And I always bring it with like, if you absolutely want it by this day, I will move heaven and earth to make it happen by that. But otherwise, I would prefer to give this fresh eyes. I want you to have the absolute best product. And obviously it's a creative one for me. And so I want to make sure that it goes— it doesn't just go out, it goes out well. And to be able to do that, I would need an extension. And so give yourself permission to ask for extensions and to push things back that don't really have to be due that day, even though they are due on the calendar and with clients.

Yeah. Okay. That's really helpful. Like giving yourself space and grace to shift deadlines when needed so that you can be your best versus like, okay, I've got all of these things I have to get done today. What can I actually push so that I can do my best on these 2 things and then do 2 things tomorrow instead of like all 4 of them in the same day? Are there any other like signs for you, or maybe remedies, like when you've been in seasons of burnout, you mentioned stepping away. Like, I think that sometimes we're like, oh, I just need a vacation. I think there's like this mindset of working towards a vacation, but then it's like, okay, well, I don't want to have to take a vacation to take a break from my life, you know?

Yeah.

So how do you like navigate that where I love having things to look forward to and I love knowing that like I'm gonna push through and then I'm gonna like go on this great trip or I'm gonna go on this like amazing vacation. And then you get back and then you're like, okay, back to this like grind. How do you like level out after that?

Level out after—

Like you go on the vacation and you just came, like you, you went on the vacation because you were so stressed or like coming out of like a really busy season, like your trip to Florida, crazy busy season. You went to Florida, you're like, okay, this is so restful. How do you almost recalibrate after that?

Yeah, great question. I think being able to use the vacation to bring yourself basically on that, the 5 steps that you just mentioned earlier in the podcast, bring yourself from being on the edge of burnout to bring yourself back to potentially it's just stress. And I think overall consistently working on how we view stress And never working towards eliminating stress altogether. And that's when I'll be happy. And that's when I can rest. And that's when I can have peace. It's— this is just temporary. Actually, stress is here because I'm doing something that I love and it's pushing me out of my comfort zone and it's exciting and it's different. And if I wasn't doing what I loved and what's pushing me out, then the stress wouldn't be here. And would I even actually be happy? And so whenever you're like, the stress just comes with it and you're having those pockets of peaceful times. I feel like that is essential. And even bringing it to a closer lens, if you're not able to take a vacation, something that I did this past weekend was I was in the middle of a very stressful situation and I just found little, like literally 2 hours on that Saturday that I worked most of the day. To recalibrate. And so I went with my boyfriend for a coffee shop date that morning and work was off the table. And I just pushed myself out of that and didn't feel guilty for stepping away for a little bit. Came back, felt more energized, was more productive, got it done. And then we planned a movie. We played Sequence that night. And so having little pockets where you can go back to normal life feels so much better. And so I think just being able to recalibrate even what stress looks like for you and being able to manage it, expand your bandwidth for it, also helps with the resilience and not inching as close to burnout.

Yeah. Another piece here is like your sleep. Like, don't over— or sorry, don't underestimate the value of rest when you are in a season that's maybe very stressful. or maybe you are in that, the thick of a burnout season, where can you prioritize rest in your evenings or on the weekends where you can really just sleep, take care of yourself? Our brain and our body needs sleep to repair itself. And, I find that whenever I'm in seasons of burnout, my fatigue is times 3.

Yeah.

And so, if you're just really tired and you're feeling very drained, where can you really lean in and allow yourself to rest? But yeah, I think that having these conversations, I think there's like an aspect of them that we normalize stress and burnout. And so I'm more of an advocate of like, how do you build habits and systems in your life that when you are very stressed, you don't go into burnout because you know how to manage them? And like, that's what Asher was just saying.

Mm-hmm.

Is like, so my invitation to you, you know, as you're listening, is like, what habits can you put into practice to really start leaning into those foundations so that you can manage stress differently than like—

Mm-hmm.

There's unhealthy ways to manage stress. We know that. Anger, consumption, overshopping, you know, oh, I just like need a glass of wine to take the edge off. There are habits like that that compound when we are in really consecutively stressful situations, and then we don't have healthy ways to cope with stress. So I would say look for healthy ways to cope with your stress so that when you're edging into burnout, you can really lean on those in a different way so that you don't stay in burnout because that's just not sustainable.

Absolutely. I also want to add a piece to this when it comes to our health and sleep and all of that. Is as women entrepreneurs also paying attention to your cycle because whenever you are going to get or whenever you have your period week, that is when you have the least amount of energy already going to happen. And so if you do have a consistent cycle, pay attention and plan around it and know that you are going to be way more tired that week. So can you plan a facial or can you not overbook yourself, specifically that week and push that one thing to the next week when you're going to have a spike in energy and you have more capacity. And that's something that I don't think is talked about enough is like as women, we have a 28-day cycle, not a 24-hour one. And we can definitely use that in our businesses to help cope with our stress.

Amen. I'm so glad that you brought that up. That's huge. Okay, let us know your biggest takeaway from today's episode. If you're dealing with stress or you're in a season of burnout, we would love To hear from you, encourage you, support you. We know it's a really busy time of year, and we hope that this gave you some tools, some support. And honestly, like, we're both navigating it too. We do not have this figured out. We are still, you know, figuring out our own foundational habits and ways to cope with stress. So, if you resonated with this episode, would love for you to leave a review. You can do that on whatever podcast player you're listening on, Spotify or iTunes. And if you want to reach out to us and share kind of what season you're in with stress or burnout, you can do that at inbetween.pod. And you can always reach out to me directly at Alexis Teichmiller.

And you can reach out to me at @astrojohannaphoto. And if you have a friend or know someone that could really benefit from this podcast episode because they are going through it, make sure to share that with them. And we will chat with you all next time.