Physical Discipline and Taking Care of Yourself

Welcome to The In Between Podcast.

I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the In Between Podcast. It is one half of the pod, Alexis, and the other half, Astrid.

And today we are chatting about physical discipline.

So, so don't run away.

Don't run. Yeah, pun intended.

Don't run, walk, you know, slink away. This is gonna be a good one. And Astrid has like prepped some really great notes for us to talk through. So I am really excited about this one. And I know that last week's episode on like mental discipline really resonated with a lot of people. So I, I think this one will too.

I know, I'm so excited. We will be chatting through all the aspects of physical discipline and maybe what holds you back from being able to implement that. I think a lot of times we associate physical discipline only with working out, And we're going to talk with a broader spectrum of that. But before we jump in, any life updates?

Yeah, I went to Craft and Commerce this past weekend, which was my former employer ConvertKit. They're an email marketing software for creators. Um, I used to emcee that conference and plan all the content and everything, and I did that for 3 years, and I attended for the first time. as an attendee and had nothing to do with the planning, not emceeing the event. And it was so full circle. It meant so much to me. I got to see a lot of my old former colleagues and my old CEO and just mentors and old affiliate partners and relationships in business. I literally hadn't seen people in 3 years.

Mm-hmm.

So it was so meaningful to get to have that time together. Just kind of like, I don't know, when you work remote, you don't get that in-person connection as often as you'd like with people that you've worked with.

Yeah.

And I miss it. So that was really fun. And I just got really inspired on my business. And I think that we can sometimes shortchange the power of conferences and workshops and stuff. And I'm really glad I went. Yeah, that was so fun. And also being back in Boise and getting out of the Texas humidity.

Yes.

Wasn't mad about that either.

Boise is so underrated. I've only been there once, but it's beautiful.

I agree.

It's like such a hidden gem of a city. 10 out of 10 recommend going to Boise. It's, it's really great.

Yes.

What about you?

How was your weekend?

Um, well, first of all, I'm so happy you got to have that experience. Especially you've always been in an industry that everything's so remote. So even when you do see them virtually, just getting to see everyone in person, just it's different.

And all your favorite people.

So many hugs too.

I was like, oh yes, my love language of physical touch was like, ah. You're like, thank you, this is my fam.

Yeah, I really, I feel so filled, so like, you know, filled up. Um, yeah, how was your weekend?

It was good. I got to rest up quite a bit. Um, we also had a surprise like retirement party for my boyfriend's mom.

So that was super fun, super sweet, very like laid back and homey, but like all her favorite people were there. And I just love surprises.

Me too.

I get like so into it.

I'm nervous as the time like leads up to it. Um, but yeah, it was just so sweet that, you know, him and his sister planned that for her and just seeing it all come together, um, was precious. And yeah, any other life updates? I am home all of this month. And so I've been cranking out a lot of things. And okay, I've been wanting to say this on the pod for 2 weeks now and I keep forgetting. And this is for all the girlies out there. If you have not tried sugar waxing, try it and thank me later.

Okay. Tell us about it. Tell us what sugar waxing is for those of us that don't know.

Okay, so sugar waxing, it's like your regular waxing, but it is natural. So it's only sugar, lime, and like, I think water or something like that. I go to an actual salon to get sugar wax, but whenever they wax it, they actually— like, it takes all the dead skin and leaves the good cells.

Hmm.

When traditional waxing will just Literally rip everything out.

I know.

And, and then like for regular waxing, it would just grow back normal.

I—

it's like half of the hair that I had. Like, it's so thin. It lasted so freaking long. And my legs have never felt softer.

I just— I'm amazed at it because I am a Hispanic girly. Like, you, you know, gotta keep up with that quite a bit.

And so just going through that experience, and also in the summertime, like, I would just It would be painful to shave every single day whenever you're wearing shorts all the time or skirts and stuff. And so going a whole week without needing to do anything was a game changer.

Okay, maybe I need to try it. You're the second person that has actually mentioned sugar waxing to me. And I've actually been thinking about getting laser hair removal.

Yes.

In my yoni area.

Yeah, I've been doing that, but it just takes a long time. And so in the meantime, I'm doing sugar waxing and it's the best.

You can do sugar waxing and laser hair removal at the same time?

Yeah.

Huh, okay.

Yeah.

Okay. I'm thinking about getting it this winter because I know that it can kind of be sensitive in the heat. And so when you're swimming and stuff, I don't know. I just read something online about like not doing laser hair removal in the summertime. But I could be—

I'll keep you posted. We'll see what happens to me this summer.

This is just from the internet, okay? So take it with a grain of salt. But yeah, I'm very interested in laser hair removal. Yeah. No, it's amazing. I don't know what it is, but like I have been getting really, really bad razor burn. And I've never gotten bad razor burn. And I'm like exfoliating. I'm using— Like the cream, shaving cream, and it's still just like nothing is working. So that is upsetting to me.

Girl, try the sugar wax and thank me later. Like, you will feel so much better. It doesn't hurt. And it's actually made for people with very sensitive skin. So like, if you have eczema or razor burn or any kind of skin condition, it's super helpful. So there's a tip for all the girlies for the summertime. Got to share it. Changed my life. I love that. And yeah, I don't have a ton of life updates. I had a shoot in Chicago yesterday that was absolutely beautiful for one of my photographer friends.

The studio looked incredible. I want to shoot there so bad.

It's iconic.

I would love if we— Should I fly to Chicago and we can do our next brand shoot there?

Yes, 1,000%. We can have so many different spaces there. The lighting is beautiful. We could do it any time of the year. So yeah, that was so fun.

I'm excited to edit those photos.

And yeah, I've just been working a lot behind the scenes in my business, staying home till the next trip.

Love that for you.

Yes.

I'm home until the next trip.

Like 3 weeks.

Yeah.

Okay.

What are you in between?

Well, that's a good question. I'm actually navigating quite a lot right now with my— just with my career, my profession, my skillset, where I want to grow the Deeper Life business. And it's all good. I don't think I've had this level of clarity and sense of peace about it in quite some time. I think what I'm in between right now, and I know that I've mentioned it on the pod, but I'm going to mention it again, is just like when you're called to your next level, you will be called to your next level of discipline too. That will help you master that next level. And so right now I'm feeling very called to my next level, which is going to require not even more capacity, but more discipline, more consistency. So that's Exciting, and there's also a level of inner resistance, right? Like, there's— it's just natural. Uh, so that's what I'm in between right now.

Oh my gosh, it's like that duality of you are so excited for what's to come, and also you're like, all right, it's time to grow. And if we want to get there, this is what it's going to take, and this is a sacrifice. And those are the things that people don't see whenever you do achieve those goals and you do achieve those milestones, is the sacrifice that it takes. And And it's scary and it's so uncomfortable to do that too.

It's so uncomfortable. And I think something too that I'm learning about myself, and you said that you love surprises. I love surprises too. And I love reaction. I love someone's response. I'm so excited for you. I like that because it's a form of connection. It's a form of being seen. It's a form of kind of like Being loved as well. And I think what I am experiencing through this is to keep quiet. And not like quiet quiet, but like heads down focusing on the work. And I'll say something important when I have something to say.

Yeah.

Or I'll say something when I have something important to say instead of like getting caught up in like I don't know, just the content factory that is social media in a way. And like, I love social and I love connecting with people on there. And at the same time, I feel like it can kind of be distracting towards like larger work that I'm trying to get done, whether that be in my day job or even in my, um, like side hustle business. So I think it's just like setting those boundaries with distraction and noise. that aren't necessarily helping me with a larger goal at this moment in time. So I'm excited about that. What about you, darling? What are you in between?

Um, mine is actually around the same lines. So I'm just realizing that I'm learning to balance the side of planning, executing, like that is my bread and butter, like time blocking. Like if this is what I need to get done, here's how we break it down per day, per hour, all that good stuff. And I'm also realizing sometimes I unnecessarily stress myself. And so I'm learning how to balance that on the flip side of like, okay, does everything really need a time block? Or is there a way that I can still have the time block so that I can get to everything that I want to do?

Right.

But release the stress or the pressure that if I don't work out at 6:30 PM, This is supposed to be fun. It's okay.

Yeah.

And so I am learning how to navigate that because I'm calling myself out. I'm stressing myself out more unnecessarily, and I already have enough stress on my plate, and I do not desire that. Nobody does. And so I'm learning to navigate my mind through that. I'm learning to catch myself when I'm doing that and releasing that, and also balancing it with days on the weekends whenever I don't need to plan, I don't need to execute, just letting it be.

Yeah.

And just sitting in that and just like, okay, I need this balance of not having set time on the weekends because I love, as much structure as I love, I also love my free self, free care and just going with everything. And that's a side of me that came out during when I was at the beach a few weeks ago. And I miss her. I miss that side of me. And I want to bring that into my everyday life. And so, yeah, so I think that I am learning how to keep that structure that helps my business move forward, allows me to do the things that I do every week, and relaxing on the weekends and reduce stress. And even today, I still needed to have lunch, of course. And so instead of just eating lunch inside, I went outside to my porch. It was a beautiful day, or like the backyard.

Yeah.

And I just took my lunch and I sat out there and I was tempted to scroll on my phone while I eat. It's like, why do I need to be entertained every single second? So I just sat there, I ate, I felt the breeze. It was such a beautiful day. I finished eating and then I told myself, we're just going to lay here for 5 minutes. You can afford 5 minutes. You own your own business. There's nothing that you need to do absolutely right now. So I set the timer and my mind just wandered everywhere, but it was such a beautiful practice of just grounding myself and coming back to things. And I felt way less stress coming back into work. And so I'm just slowly becoming more aware of my habits and integrating small habits that can help reduce stress. And also just catching myself whenever I'm stressing myself out.

I love that for you. There's no doubt that you have built an incredible business and that you are very structured. And it's hard when you look at the fruit of your labor and you're like, look what all this hard work got me though. Where you're like, and I want to keep growing and I want to keep Expanding in that way. And at the same time, it's like, hopefully we're working so that we can have less stress, more time, more freedom, because that's the reason that we're like our own bosses, or, you know, that's like one of the goals. So it's really cool to see you experiment with kind of like meditation, getting rid of your phone, allowing yourself to just like breathe and not keep— Like a rigid schedule. Like there's fluidity in the schedule and there's room for like those moments where you're like, I'm gonna have lunch on the back porch and I'm gonna sit outside and I'm gonna close my laptop and that's okay. No one's gonna come get me.

Yeah, absolutely.

No one's gonna be like blowing up Slack and being like, where are you, Astrid?

Like, oh no, I, I recovered from Slack. I haven't opened that in like a year and a half. I can sleep better now without those notifications.

But yeah, I think that, um, I, I also think that we can box ourselves in into, I am a structured person and I need to have every second accounted for. And it's like, no, that's not true. Like, I am structured when it comes to my career, right? And I am fluid and carefree when it comes to my personal life. So I don't need to let that carry over to my personal life. And sometimes the people around us will box us in too and be like, oh yeah, like, Mm-hmm. Is this a good time block? Can I go have coffee with you during this time? And it's funny because they know that you do that. And also it's okay to set that boundary and be like, hey, actually I prefer to not do that in my personal time. And that's not who I am then. So yeah, learning all the ins and outs of that.

We love to learn. Lifelong learner.

I feel like lifelong learner is our version of live, laugh, love.

It is. Can we create sweatshirts with that? Lifelong learner.

Lifelong learner. Okay, let's transition into today's topic of physical discipline. Walk us through it, babe. Walk us through it.

All right. I am by no means an expert, but I'm happy to kick us off. Um, as I was thinking about today's topic, I think that my mind tends to naturally gravitate towards What's my workout routine? What's my movement routine when it comes to physical discipline? And I just really wanted to challenge myself and us in this conversation and everyone listening to think about the overall wellness and physical discipline that can bring whenever we look at our whole self, not just our physical movement. And even more so, I was thinking about what is it that sometimes holds us back from implementing those habits. We all get excited. It's January 1st. We're starting a new workout routine. We're like, this is the year. And yes, that can absolutely happen for you. And then we run into our tendencies or life happens and we are suddenly so depressed or sad and we can tend to self-sabotage those things. And so I just feel like physical discipline is usually one of the first ways that we self-sabotage whenever we feel emotionally dysregulated. And so whenever you have set certain habits that you say, I'm going to work out, I'm going to take my vitamins, I'm going to do this skincare routine every night, and then you are self-sabotaging that and not doing it, then we need to look at why are we not doing that? So I guess from your journey, what has your physical discipline journey looked like and is that Is that true?

That's just a statement that I came up with. I could be totally wrong.

I love that. Trademark it, copyright it. It's the truth because, yeah, I mean, physical discipline is so much more beyond just what's your movement routine? Are you going to the gym? Whatever. It's so much more than that. For me, the first thing to go is brushing my teeth.

Exposed.

It's gross, but it's true. Um, yeah, I mean, I would say in times where I've been really depressed, like skincare, brushing my teeth, and sleep are things that I really struggle with. Um, there's something about the lack of self-care that like links itself to my apathy. Like, I don't care. You know, I don't care to like brush my teeth. I don't care if I need— if I don't get 8 hours. Like, I don't care.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and I think that the discipline aspect is like, okay, we might not care about those things, but they're still important. And how will we feel after we do them? And I think that's like a big piece here that sometimes we miss is we cut the physical discipline aspects, um, because we don't have the energy or we don't care about them or we don't want to do them. However, after I've, let's say, brushed my teeth or done my skincare and actually put on facial oil, I'm like, okay. I'll kind of have this little mental breakthrough where I'm like, okay, even though I don't feel very good today, we're still taking care of ourself. And I think that is a big piece. I was actually just writing about this in my book, first draft, mind you. about the phrase taking care of yourself and how taking care of yourself is so personal. Like sometimes I'm going to take care of myself. That looks like binging Netflix, getting DoorDash, you know, like getting like 5 to 6 hours of sleep because you were up late and rolled out of bed the next day. This has been me, by the way. Like this has been me.

Same.

That was my version of taking care of myself. And now my version of taking care of myself looks like these practices. It looks like taking care of my skin and brushing my teeth, even though that seems simple, and trying to get 8 hours of sleep because after I do it, I genuinely feel better. Whereas taking care of myself through Netflix, DoorDash, lack of sleep, scrolling on my phone, I do not ever feel better after doing that. Like, I genuinely don't ever feel better. So I think it's looking at how is my present action helping me feel better for my future, if that makes sense.

What do you think?

Absolutely.

I feel like a big part of physical self-discipline is learning to reparent yourself and learning that you have to take care of yourself. You are responsible for you.

Mm-hmm.

And so whenever I'm running through all these habits, honestly, sometimes I'm like, I'm glad it's just me and I don't have a child right now because I can barely take care of me.

Like, I am processing me right now. And then like, props to all the moms that have to, you know, take care of themselves and then also take care of a human and also the dads out there.

But I just think that that journey of reparenting yourself and saying, yes, do I have the freedom right now as an adult to DoorDash? to watch Netflix till 3:00 AM, 4:00 AM, to sleep in because I have a flexible schedule. I have all the freedom. And if I do those things, that's exactly what's hurting me right now. So is it really freedom? And when we're doing those things, we have the— at least I do— this heavy feeling of guilt.

Yeah.

And so what would happen if we were to Go ahead and address that feeling of guilt and stick to the habit that we know is going to make us feel better, we know is important to our health and our overall wellbeing, and then go do whatever it is that you wanted to do afterwards. And so I think sometimes it's not even like you can't do it, it's just take care of you first, be responsible, and then step forward into what you want to do. And It sounds easier, but I think in that moment, you're working through your inner child and then your adult self. And the aspect of taking care of yourself brings so much emotional weight.

Yeah.

And if you're going through a tough season where you feel like you don't deserve more, where you feel like your heart has been shattered, where you feel depressed, you don't want to take care of yourself. And I think a big part of this conversation we're having today is Start small with like, okay, if you know that you will self-sabotage your sleep or self-sabotage brushing your teeth. For me, it's definitely food. I will just go eat out and I don't want to cook. I don't want anything nourishing. Then taking small steps towards that specific thing that you know you tend to do. And in those higher moments, create a plan for when the low moments come to stick to that physical I love that.

Yeah, and like you said, I mean, a lot of this is the mental and physical, right? So like what we talked about last week, you know, there's a lot of mental discipline that's coming up that impacts our physical discipline.

Mhm.

Um, so I do see these 2 things, they're married, you know, like they're very much, uh, intertwined with each other. But I like the idea of starting small and the callout around the reparenting yourself. Like, so much of my personality is rooted in the rebel. And so I love to rebel against myself.

Hmm.

So I will, like, you know, you're calling it self-sabotage, which I resonate with as well. But when I go like a little bit deeper, what's really there is not like, oh yeah, I want to like sabotage myself. It's like, I kind of want to just like be a little rebel. You know, like I kind of just want to go against— Test the edge.

Yeah. Yeah.

I just want to like dip my toe into doing something that I know doesn't really align, but it makes me feel alive. Because in those moments where I'm not feeling anything, feeling a little numb, and so being a rebel feels good in the moment because it's attached to like this higher feeling of like something that I'm, you know, I'm not supposed to be doing this.

Yes.

So something that I do want to call out too and would love to have this conversation around is there's moments of isolation where sometimes taking care of ourself really is DoorDashing food and watching a couple hours of Netflix. I don't think taking care of ourself is ever staying up till 4:00 AM and getting 3 hours of sleep. I don't ever think that's taking care of yourself, but there are certain behaviors sometimes that feel very comforting to How do you detach? Like, this is self-sabotaging and this is like comfort and like this is— I don't know, acceptable seems like a really harsh word, but like this is okay and this is not okay. Like, how do you decipher between the two? And also, what we're saying is not law. This is just like our experiences.

Absolutely. Yeah. Don't come after us.

Honestly, I feel like it just comes down to a relationship with self and being able to ask yourself, what do I need right now? And can you be honest, not manipulate your own answer, right? So if you're like, oh, what comes up right away is like, I should probably go get some sunlight and fresh air because I've been indoors and I had this hard moment and I need to step outside. But then when you ask yourself, you're like, but going to get some ice cream or some cookies is really what I need and what I want.

Yeah.

I feel like we know internally. It's like that intuition and that moment where you choose to be true to yourself. And if you're in your journey where you're first starting off and you're like, I genuinely don't know what I want or what I need, then something that helped me is running through what are your options right now? And whenever you think about each of those options, how does that feel? So if you think about going to the gym, does that feel absolutely exhausting? Maybe that's not an option. So what's another way you can move your body? Maybe it's an at-home workout. How does that feel? Too heavy still? Then let's move on to how about a walk? Okay, that feels really great. Great. Let's, let's start there. And then you like go on the walk and you're like, okay, what do I need next? I feel like I need nourishing food. Great, let's move in that direction. And so I think that that's an aspect to physical wellness. And when it comes to physical self-discipline, that is so important because we can tend to just gravitate to these extremities of, I'm going to work out every day for 30 days. And then you're sick and then you're like, but I said I was going to work out. And you're running a fever running on the treadmill. Or on the flip side, where you had a rough day at work, you're overwhelmed, and then you're like, well, I'm gonna self-care by just like binge-watching Netflix and skipping my movement. So I think we need to learn to still have that self-discipline of— in that scenario, movement. But perhaps that day it doesn't look like a full gym session, it looks like going for a walk. Or it looks like stretching and breathing and doing breathwork. So I think it personally is just listening to yourself and being honest. But what do you think?

I love that. I think there's a difference between, again, the consistency and isolation. So something that has helped me in the moment is sometimes after a workday, there's writing to be done on the book. And what I'll do, okay, this happened last night. This happened last night. What I'll do is I'll eat with Matthew and then I'm like, let's just watch a documentary while we eat. Like I have, you know, we haven't had any TV today. Just watch a little TV because TV is a treat, right? I'm an adult. TV is a treat. And we'll watch some TV and then I'll want to keep watching, you know? So last night I sat down on the couch at 7. And it was 7:45. The first episode of the docuseries was over. It was called Playbook, by the way. It's like the world's best coaches. It's really good on Netflix. And I was like, oh, let's watch another one.

It's so inspiring.

It's going to get me motivated. It's going to get me like real— I was like manipulating the shit out of myself. I was like, this is going to like help me like write. I'm going to feel so good. And I started the second episode and Matthew's like— Matthew got up. Off the couch, and he's like, "Okay, time to go upstairs. We got laptops. We got work to do tonight." And I was like, "Okay, yeah, I'll I'll be up there in a second." And then what I do? I scrolled on my phone for like twenty minutes, and then all of a sudden I just hear him from upstairs. Hey! And I'm like, "What?" He's like, "What are you doing?" And I was like, "Nothing. Leave me alone." And he's like, "You can do that later, but right now." Like, you've committed to doing this. So what I want to call out from that story is one, it's great to have an accountability partner who is not like shamey, but will be like, hey, you said that you're going to do this. What are you doing? But, what we've done is we've displaced TV reward to the weekend. Mm-hmm. Like, we don't do that during the week. So, if we want to watch it while we're eating, that's fine. Talk through the documentary or whatever it is. But hey, on Saturday night, we're going to have a double feature. We're going to have a movie night. But it feels more planned versus like, let's sabotage our evening, which usually ends up sabotaging our nighttime routine and we're not getting enough sleep because we're watching TV and then we want to keep watching something. So that has really helped is like, you know what, I might not be able to do it on a Monday or Tuesday night, but I've got it covered.

Yeah.

on Saturday night coming up, and that's something for me to look forward to. It doesn't feel like I'm taking something away from myself. I'm just displacing it. So that's something that's helped with my sleep schedule in terms of discipline, and then also literally getting creative work done whenever I'm procrastinating.

I love that. And it's also, you're listening to yourself. You are also yearning and wanting that TV time, that chill time, and it's beautiful. And you're like, And now's not the time. We're going to move this over, which is so important. I love that we're chatting through discipline because it feels so structured. But a big part of it is also when are we creating that time and space to just play, to just have fun? Physical wellness doesn't have to look like just this strict workout. It can be, how do you want to move? That can be so great for us and our wellness routines for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I think it's a good call out too that you mentioned around highlighting what your options are. What are my options right now? Because I think an aspect of discipline is we feel like we don't have a choice. It's like, oh, well, I've committed to this thing and now I feel like I don't have my choices. And then we take away our agency because we're like, oh, we don't have a choice, we have to do it.

Yeah.

And that's also a difficult place to be as well because then you're going into it and you're like, I don't Past me made this commitment and present me is pissed about it. So it's like, how do we bring up the reminders that what are our options? So we said we wanted to, like you said, we wanted to move our body today, but that can look like a lot of different things. So let's look at all of our choices instead of feeling like it has to look this one way. And I think that's a really beautiful practice as well.

Absolutely.

How would you define like a healthy physical self-discipline journey?

Yeah, well, how regularly am I brushing my teeth? Okay, I'm brushing pretty good. My depression is low.

Yeah, or 7 days, 14 times total.

Okay. I think, how do I measure it? I think there's something about this conversation and the theme in general for the whole month around discipline is a level of, am I proud of myself?

Hmm.

And not like a prideful, I'm better than, not that, but I have committed to something, I have followed through on that. I am proud of myself, and I think when it comes to any form of discipline, on the other side of it is this sense of like I'm proud of myself for following through. I think that's the goal, and then a byproduct of that is more confidence, more self-trust, more resilience. Like something we haven't really talked about yet in discipline is resiliency, and like that practice of when. So much does go wrong, you still find a way to show up.

Yes, I love that. I love that so much. I feel like that's something that we need to learn to define is what is your own unique, healthy self-discipline journey with your physical body or with any aspect of yourself as well? Because it's so personal. I think it also has to do with where are you at in your mental health journey? Where are you at in your career? Where are you at in life? And then when you can redefine that for you, not based off of somebody else's goals, then that feels like success. Because there's nothing more daunting than when we set a goal that is unrealistic and then we don't meet it and then we feel the guilt and then the cycle starts all over again of, I'm not capable to have this discipline. I am not able to keep up with this habit. And that's not the truth. The truth is that It was just unrealistic in the first place. So let's redefine what success looks like in this season of life.

Right. And then what layer of accountability do you want to be held to? Who's holding you accountable? How are they holding you accountable? How are you holding yourself accountable? This is like a humble brag, so just take it with a grain of salt, but this past Monday, My car has been having a lot of issues and the battery's dead. So Matthew charged it, went to work, or he like jumped my car, went to work, tried to turn it back on, dead. I was like, I have no way to get to the gym. My friend Millie is going to be waiting for me. Like we have a workout date set. Someone's there. We're going to work out. We've already got our workout program like figured out for the day. And I was like, past me, I'm in my, I'm sitting in my kitchen. I've got my workout wear on. And there was a moment where I literally was like, past me would just go upstairs, put my sweatpants back on, and roll back into bed and take it, take the L. You know, just take the loss. Like, ah, car wouldn't start, can't make it, have a great workout, see you tomorrow. But present me was like, what are my options? And I started going through what my options were. I was like, okay, Millie can't come to get me because, you know, whatever. the circumstances were, uh, I can't walk, it's too far. Like, so then I was like, okay, we're gonna Uber. We're Ubering. We're gonna Uber. We've decided. So I just Ubered.

Hmm.

And I would have— me a year ago would have never done that. Me 2 years ago would have laughed and been like, that's hilarious that you literally paid someone to drive you to the gym. But me now, I'm like, that checks out. Mm-hmm. Because discipline is also giving ourselves permission to change. We're giving ourselves the opportunity to make different choices, to live different lives, to become something that we never thought we would or could. And I think that's, like, really, really beautiful. I think it's the underlying I don't know, like equation really is like discipline is a vehicle, it's a tool. Absolutely. And if you use it and you drive it and you are consistent with it, it can change your life.

Yeah.

Um, and I think that's just interesting to see how much you can change in a short period of time.

Absolutely. And I love how you talk about it in such a way of identity. Who is Alexis? Alexis 2 years ago wouldn't have done this. Alexis last year would have laughed, but it would have been a possibility. And Alexis now doesn't find it as an excuse.

Yeah.

So where do we go back to, though, is what is the story that we are telling ourselves about our physical discipline or just in general about our discipline? And I feel motivated by our conversation right now because I can find areas in which I have maybe taken the L and been like, oh well, I can't do that now. And it's like, okay, sometimes you just, you do need to take it and also be like, okay, what can I do better for next time to prepare myself to win that? Right? So, okay, I don't have a healthy meal to eat right now. I am starving already. I need food now. Okay, I'm gonna have to go get something. But how can A, I make a better choice of what I pick out? And then B, how can I make sure that I don't wait until I'm starving? to find something to eat and I meal prep or plan ahead for that. But I think that a big aspect of that is choosing to be different, choosing to change that identity, choosing like, Astrid, this is not who I am. Astrid, you are not someone that eats fast food every single day. You are not someone that eats out every day. You are someone that cooks homemade meals that are nourishing. And today, is a day that is living outside of who you actually are and want to be. So when I call myself out on it right on the spot and tap into that identity, I'm like, all right, I got to show up. And it's going back to that reparenting yourself where you kind of have to call yourself out and be like, that's not what we do. We show up, we keep our word, we find a way, and that is who we are, not running the other way.

Right. And I think when discipline fails us, or we fail discipline, however you want to put it, we will use it as evidence. See, this is why I can never finish anything. See, this is why, you know, no one believes in me.

Yeah.

This is why I don't believe in myself. This is why whatever, whatever, whatever. And look, if you want to step into a place of a mindset shift and you want to kind of experiment with yourself, look at where you're collecting evidence for your case. Because we're always building a case for something. We're looking for reasons, validation, affirmation for something in our lives. So look at where you're collecting evidence. Maybe it's with your family. Maybe it's with your skincare, whatever, whatever it is. And on the other side of the evidence, What is there? Is it a reason why you can't, shouldn't, wouldn't do something? Is it, you know, a disconnection? You know? And I think that's where like, okay, am I— I am now collecting evidence for why I'm a different person. Yeah. I'm different. You know? Like I'm collecting evidence because I'm proving to my past self that while she was important, I don't need to return to her. Like, she taught me what she came to teach me, and now we're becoming something else. And that's, that's like such a mindset shift. I'm not shaming her. I'm thanking her for what she did for me. But now I'm looking at all the reasons why, you know, we are in this new life.

Mm-hmm.

Because of the decisions that passed. me got to make. So it's like looking at that and how we are shifting our narrative towards negative reasons why we shouldn't, couldn't, and looking at reasons why this could be it though.

Absolutely.

Like, what if? And I think that that's a big question around discipline in general is like, what if this is your time? What if this is the season where you fully step in? and you become everything that you've wanted to become? What if all of the reasons and circumstances of your past are just that, in the past, and you get to be in this present moment, make a different choice, and move forward in a different way? And that's beautiful. I think that's where agency of choice comes in.

Mm-hmm.

We do get to make different choices though. And it's tough because it sounds harsh, but it's true.

Absolutely. I think the story that we tell ourselves plays such a huge role in our actions and being able to step into what if a year from now, you know, the person that we're going to become is going to laugh at some of the things that we are doing because right now present me would never think that that was possible. And that's really the process of undoing and becoming that can be so hard. And the work is so important and it really truly starts in your mind. And that's why episode 1, or episode 1 from this month that we talked about mental discipline, is so important because it's more about the story that we tell ourselves. And I think that consuming so much content on social media can tell us these stories about who we are, that then when you want to act on that discipline, you're overwhelmed, or you're like, well, I'm not doing it like so-and-so. I don't look like so-and-so. Or I want to start doing this workout, but oh my gosh, it's so much harder than how this person looked doing it. And so, oh, this is why I can't work out. And then you just drop and end the workout and leave, and you're like, I'm not that. And so what if you can tell yourself you are athletic? You are capable of moving your body. You are a healthy human being, and you'll start acting as that person. And I feel like a big element of physical self-discipline too is the role that body dysmorphia can sometimes play in that. And it can truly paralyze us. And it can— the comparison game when it comes to what we see online, just in general, seeing our bodies in the mirror, how our bodies change as women throughout the month. And whenever you feel like you're putting the self-discipline in, and then we don't see reflected back what we feel like is ours whenever that body dysmorphia comes up. Yet we come back to what we said in the beginning of, are we doing it for that specific outcome or are we doing it to keep a promise to ourselves because we chose that we're going to live a healthy life that requires an active lifestyle, that requires taking your vitamins and moving your body and getting the adequate sleep. And so when we reframe why we're doing things, it can help so much whenever those big flagships come in and those big roadblocks come in to damage our self-discipline journey.

Right. And when we have those setbacks though, which they will come because that is life, and It's like leaning on— leaning back on the evidence of how far you've come.

Yeah.

You know, it's like, yeah, we might need to take a week off. Hell, we might need to take a month off, and that's okay. And then we continue to move forward. Like, we don't have to use that as, um, you know, we don't have to allow roadblocks to keep us blocked forever. And it's just like recognizing them for what they are. a temporary break, pause, whatever you want to call it, and then you just move on. But I do think this mindset shift is really helpful because, Asher, you've talked a lot about this, of self-discipline is self-love. And there's an aspect, again, taking care of yourself. The love, the respect, the honor of taking care of your physical body, it's the only thing It's the only one that we have. It's our home. And it carries all of our lived experiences with us. And we also get a choice in how we treat it. And I think that's really powerful. And, you know, whatever that looks like for you, what changes, what shifts, what things might you need to surrender, let go, release? So that you can step forward and have a different relationship with physical discipline in terms of taking care of your physical self. And that goes beyond beauty standards. That goes beyond, you know, shopping people's Amazon storefronts on TikTok. Like, it goes beyond all of that. And not that— not to diminish, like, what style can have on your confidence, because I do think that Like, style is a really beautiful self-expression of your confidence in your physical self, but that's not the point, right? Like, we can dress up and look really nice, but internally we just feel terrible. So it's like that dichotomy can exist as well. But I love this conversation. I think it's really hard to talk about because it's a prickly topic, especially when it comes to Just like there's so many different body, um, issues and disorders and mental health. Like, there's a lot of layers to this topic, and I just want to acknowledge that, like, we're just speaking from our experience. And, um, yeah, that's all.

I don't know what else to say.

And also, I also think there's an element of breaking generational curses when it comes to your physical health that is so Yeah. So if, if you come from a family where like the healthy habits weren't modeled and you saw your parents use food to cope with their emotions— like, I, I saw that a lot in my house. And so whenever that has been modeled, and then I tend to gravitate towards that, sometimes I can be so mean to myself that I tend to do that. And also being able to take a step out and say, okay, that's what you learned. Let's have some grace there. And what do you choose?

Right?

Because you get to choose what your future generations or what the people around you will see about you. You don't have to take that on even though that's what's been passed down to you. And so I think that's an element too of physical self-discipline that can help in that motivation in those low moments. Of, I'm breaking the curse that we are unhealthy. We are a healthy family and I am a healthy woman and I refuse to accept that, period. And I think that can be so powerful for our minds too. So as we wrap up, what are 3 things that you feel like are helping you with your physical self-discipline journey right now?

Love this. Okay, 3 things that are helping my physical self-discipline journey. One is having— I have 2 accountability partners when it comes to movement. Millie, who's become one of my dear friends here in Houston, her and I lift together probably twice a week now. And that's been fun because we hold each other accountable, one, by showing up, and two, by pushing each other. In the gym, which has been really fun. The other aspect of the physical discipline accountability is I told Matthew that I want to run once a week, and he has been held. He's been holding me to that.

I'm love him and hate him.

Matthew, what a great accountability partner!

Love him and hate him for that. But at the end, I mean, it's like I do want to do it, but it's like okay, when are we running this week? Like let's plan it out, and I'm like.

Yeah.

Thank you. The other piece of that would be taking my supplements. I know this probably sounds really crazy, but I have the Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the pillbox. Yes, we love it. Having my pillboxes and taking my supplements. I take 6 different supplements daily. And it really, I can tell especially when I haven't taken my vitamin D because it helps my mood so much. Love taking my supplements. And then, I would say another piece of this that has really been— that I have tried to instill is regular doctor visits. If you have the privilege of healthcare and health insurance, use it. So, like, going to the dentist regularly, getting my teeth cleaned, going for my yearly optometry checkup, like, how are my eyes and the health of my eyes? And then my yearly gynecology appointment, getting my blood work done, getting my hormone panel. Like, that has been a really big piece over the last couple years that I never cared about.

Yeah.

Like, I had health insurance in my early 20s through my employer and like never went and got my teeth cleaned. You know? So those are small things though, but that's self-love and self-care through using a resource like health insurance. Uh, within the confines of whatever your health insurance structure is. But like, that has been something that has like made me proud of myself.

Absolutely.

I'm like, I've got all my doctor's appointments scheduled. Like, I'm parenting myself.

We are adulting really well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What about you?

Um, okay, 3 things that are helping me right now. Hmm. Um, I feel like I have been habit stacking specifically the things that I buy and the ingredients that come in it. So ever since I had my huge allergy reaction thing, I went very holistic and that has helped me to not have allergic reactions anymore. But that journey made me aware of how much is in the protein shake that I used to buy. Now I buy a different one. In the cheese, and now I buy a different type of cheese. There's just a lot of different things that were integrated into my daily habits that weren't helping my overall health. And so, it can be very overwhelming to change it all at once. And so, I've just been, for the past 2 years, changing my food, changing what hair products I use, tampons too. There's a lot of things in tampons. Those things are part of our physical health and wellness that Taking the time to research it, spending more money on it, it can be hard. But I love it. I feel so much better about it.

I feel like Jansen and our friend Kayla would be so proud of you right now.

Yes. I always think of them when I'm buying those things. I'm like, she'd be so proud.

Second would definitely be on the doctor's visit and wellness stuff. And funny enough, I got blood work done 2 weeks ago and I went this morning to get my blood work back. And compared to last year, I had everything back. The only thing that was a little bit off was my vitamin D levels, only thing. And last year I had 8 things that needed to be leveled back up.

And so I was really, really proud of that. Just nerdy things.

I love that. That's amazing. Seriously, did that wreck That's a cause for celebration.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

And third, right now, my body is really craving time outside and time just meditating in nature, feeling all the things around me, letting the breeze hit me. And actually, after we record, I'm going to go for a walk before I go for my workout. And so I'm listening to my body and what it needs in this season. Um, yeah, those are 3 things that are helping me. I think just sometimes keeping things simple is best, and then just habit stacking one thing at a time is helpful. Which, speaking of, if you have been on social media this week, we launched a self-discipline challenge that starts today when you're listening to this episode, and it will end in 2 weeks on the 28th. We would love for you to join us. Basically, you just choose one thing that you want to commit to for 2 weeks. And we're going to cheer you on. We're all going to go in on this and you'll have a small community of people to do this along with you as well. So if you're going to join in, DM us or go comment on our latest post. We'd love to just see what you're committing to and cheer you on as well. And it's our first challenge. I'm so excited for it.

I know. I'm so— you put so much work into this. I've loved seeing this come together and I'm excited to cheer each of you on in your different goals. Keeping promises to yourself is so important. As Astrid and I know, it's a huge piece of building confidence. And what is your thing that you're going to choose? You have to share it on the pod.

Yes.

Yes. Okay. I'm going to choose charging my phone outside of my room at night.

Ooh. Okay.

So where are you going to put the charger?

I think just in the kitchen.

The kitchen. Okay.

Yeah, I've been wanting to do that for a while. Yeah, I, A, will scroll a lot right before bed, but B, I've also been reading a lot about even if you don't scroll before bed, if you have your phone around your head for like 8 hours, it's not very good for your body. Like, it just emits a lot of things. I already have my phone all day. So I'm just gonna knock both of those out in one and start charging my phone out for 2 weeks, which sucks. Speaking of self-discipline, it's like guilty pleasure is just scrolling on TikTok till I get super sleepy before I fall asleep.

So whenever you and I are sharing TikToks to each other at the same time, I'm like, oh, we're both— so we're both on TikTok right now.

And it's like 10:30 PM or 10 PM.

I gotta get up early. Okay, I love that. What's mine gonna be? Ooh, I feel like I should make it not book related, you know, because it's just been like so like writing focused the last couple weeks. Well, crap. Let me think through this. I— let me think. I'm like Short on, short on ideas here. Do you have any ideas for me? What should I do?

Ideas for you? Um, limiting like time on social media or like when you do it.

Ooh, okay. I like this a lot. What about, what about this? What about no social, no social media after 7 PM?

Okay, if you send me a TikTok past 7 PM, I'm gonna call you out. Okay, let's do 8.

Let's do 8 o'clock. Okay, no social after 8.

Okay, that's— that sounds healthy.

Okay, all right, we can do this. I'm so excited, and thank you so much for being here. If you have resonated with this episode, we'd love for you to leave us a review of the— of the podcast, whether you're listening on Spotify or iTunes, wherever you get your podcast, leave us a review. Let us know what you think of the pod. Or you can follow us over on Instagram and get connected with the self-discipline challenge that's kicking off over the next 2 weeks. You can do that @inbetween.pod, or you can always connect with me personally @AlexisTeichmiller.

Or me @AstridJohannaPhoto. It was so great to chat with you all today, and we'll chat with you next time.