Romanticizing Your Everyday Life

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. And we're 2 best friends on a journey to living a fun, intentional life.

We know it's easier to share on a season of life once it's behind you, but what about when you're in the middle of the growth, confusion, and decision-making?

This lifestyle podcast is for the everyday gal who loves to travel, talk about business, relationships, fashion, and everything in between. Hello, hello, and welcome Welcome back to another episode of The In Between Pod. It is one half of the pod, Alexis.

And the other half, Astrid.

And today we're going to be talking about romanticizing your life.

I love it. I am so excited. I feel like this entire theme has been so light, just bringing a little bit of love and care to your daily routine. And I hope that everyone's been thinking about their routines and yeah, picking up on some new habits.

Yeah, the theme of finding joy outside of the 9 to 5 has really hit me this month in particular because I just feel like things ramping up into summer and like coming off of winter, it's just a very busy time. And I'm like, okay, I need to find joy outside my 9 to 5. I need to like take my own advice. So I'm excited about this particular topic because I feel like romanticizing your life became a TikTok trend. I don't know, maybe a year and a half ago. Like, I don't even remember. Was it maybe 2021? When did it became— when did it become a thing? When do you first remember it?

I feel like it was 2 years ago. It started with like the routine videos.

So it's been around for a little bit, but I think it's something that we can continue to carry through our lives. So Asher and I are going to be talking about that today on the pod. But first, let's do a few life updates. Um, do you want to go first? Yeah. What have you been up to?

Um, I hosted many sessions this past week in my house.

Well, tell everyone what a mini session is for those.

Okay.

Yeah.

So for those of you that don't know, mini sessions is basically a day where a photographer will open up smaller slots, like 20-minute, 30-minute slots, and they have either one location or one backdrop set up, and then you can get your pictures done. So I had seen this flower cascading thing on Pinterest. And at the time I was very slow. And so I was like, oh, this would be so fun to put together and do something different in the off-season. And I just had it in my home studio. So there's no variable of the weather or anything like that. And so I did that this past weekend and it went amazing. It was just this like floral installation that I did in the bottom of my house. And it was so sweet. I had mostly like branding and couples, and each session was so different. It definitely felt like I did a whole wedding day. I felt so exhausted afterwards, but shooting itself was fun.

What were your start times?

So it was 9 to 3 PM, and then they were 20-minute sessions. So I had 10 minutes in between.

Oh wow. That's a lot.

Yeah. I think mostly it was the switching of We're shooting a couple. And so it's like all the vibes and the romance. And then it's like a tiny little family. And then it's like, okay, we're fun and energetic. And then it's like branding. And we're like, okay, we're editorial. So it's just like, I get a little bit of whiplash, but it was so fun. I love high-paced things like that.

It was like the context switching of like, okay, what kind of vibe are we trying to curate?

Yes. Yes. But it was so fun. I started editing today and it turned out really well. So I'm really happy that it all worked out.

It looks so good. Like seriously, it looked like Pinterest come to life. You did such a fantastic job with the installation.

Thank you. Thank you. What's been going on in your world? I saw you were hanging out on your porch. Yes.

For those of you that have been listening to the pod for the last couple months, you've known that I have been wanting to spend more time on my porch and I have been. And I've been reading out there. I've been going out there in the mornings. On Saturday, no, on Sunday morning, I went out there and read for like an hour and a half. And it was just so lovely. I had my morning coffee out there. Piper was just like sitting in the grass in the sun, just like basking in the light. Like she loved it. So we've been spending a lot more time on the porch and it's been bringing me a lot of joy. And other things in my world, had some fun like social. I finally feel like I'm on a stage.

Oh, good.

in Houston where I have really solid girlfriends. And even if we're not seeing each other all the time, there's enough consistency or frequency and care that we're checking in with each other. It's like we're planning our next time to see each other. That feels so good. And that was one of my goals this year. And I'm in April, almost towards the end of April. And I finally feel like I have a really solid Um, handful of like deep friendships, and I'm so thankful for that. So that's been amazing, a big win in my life right now.

I'm so proud of you for the intentionality that you have had in creating new friends and having new friends in a big city and approaching people that are new and having that intentionality of like, hey, are you, are you free next Friday? Asking them on a date. But truly, it takes, it takes courage to do that, and I'm so proud of you, and I'm happy that you're starting to feel like you have your girls together and have that in person too.

Thank you. I appreciate that. It's, it's been really helpful to feel like more connected and not feel so isolated in a big city. And also, this is another small thing, but we got a grill.

Oh, nice.

I'm about to be like— we grilled out on Friday night. We got out our, our lawn chairs. I feel like— I don't know if this is like a Midwest thing, or maybe it's just— I don't know, maybe it's just whoever wants to do a thing, but Grilling out on your concrete pad with like your lawn chairs out, your dog, you got your dog, you're listening to some music. And I was like, I remember different Matthew. I was like, this is my dream. I love our dream life. And he was like, I mean, this kind of goes into today's topic around romanticizing life, but I was like, this is such a small thing, but this brings me so much joy. Um, so I love that. But before we get into that, what are you in between right now?

I am in between realizing that I would like to be somewhere else for the summer. And I— it all came up because I— we were making plans for the summer and being like, okay, we want to take a trip, when do we take it? And And I just started feeling anxious. And I was like, why do I feel anxious about if I don't have any trips lined up for the summer and I'm staying home? I was feeling that anxiety pop up and I was like, okay, I had this really beautiful experience in Dallas. I have been in Miami a lot and I've just come to— I'm in between accepting that I really love the city. And while I don't know if that's you know, in my near future or not. I am just accepting the fact that I have this feeling of wishing that I was in the summer in the city so that I could like walk to a lake or walk to the beach and like have just this very lively life of like sitting outside a coffee shop and like walking to places and all of that. So I am trying to find ways to integrate that into my summer, realizing that those feelings are popping up and seeing what trips I can set up intentionally. And overall, just paying attention to those feelings and seeing what may come of that.

Oh, see, girl, that's a— it is. I love that you emphasized that you're accepting it, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to take action on it or know what it looks like in the future. But sometimes whenever we don't have a clear picture, we can like suppress the acceptance. But just the fact that you're accepting it is beautiful. You're like, okay, this is what I want. This is what I know that I want to do. I don't even have to have it figured out, but at least I'm accepting and acknowledging that that is true.

Yeah.

Instead of like, oh, well, it doesn't feel possible, or I don't know how that would work. And so I'm just going to act like it doesn't exist. Yeah.

And when I had the inkling to deny that that existed, I caught myself. Kind of rejecting plans here.

Mm.

So this was a conversation I was having with my boyfriend where he was like, oh yeah, we should plan a trip. And I was like, yes, let's plan it. And he's like, well, how about we stay here this weekend? And right away the feelings came up of almost rejecting the plans because it was staying here. And so to anyone listening, if you feel that inclination, then you have to ask yourself why. And then once I recognized it, I was like, okay, if there's a trip planned, Then I can relax and be excited for that and also get to be present in the plans. But I think if I hadn't had processed that, I would have unintentionally like felt put off by plans just here locally. So small thing, but you know, observing what we're walking through.

That's exciting though. I'm glad that you're having those conversations. I feel like it's, it's important to always make room for them instead of be like, oh, I'll, I'll think about that later.

Yeah. Stores it in the shelf. What are you in between?

Ooh, so many big topics. Um, the one I actually feel the most oddly inclined to bring up that is like a gut intuition reaction that I don't think I've mentioned on the pod in a while is motherhood. That is something that's very, very top of mind right now. Um, something I'm in between is deciding whether or not that's actually a lifestyle that I want. If I want to be a mom or not, and Matthew and I are having a lot of conversations about that. And I think that there are a lot of opinions, not even just like internally with our family or anything. Our family has actually been incredibly, incredibly respectful. Just like external societal opinions, or like people that don't even know you that like will make a comment, and you just kind of are like, okay, yeah, I don't know. Like What is it that we really want? And I'm turning 30 here literally next week. Matthew turned 30 last month, and we are at that stage in our marriage. We've been married for— I can't even believe this, but this fall will be 4 years. And we're kind of at that natural progression of like, is this something that we want to pursue, or is this something that— or do we want to wait? Like, just, I feel like we're kind of in between a decision. Do we want to wait? Do we even want that? Do we not want that? And I think that making a decision feels permanent. It feels like a little scary. But I will say motherhood is something that I have not felt ever attracted or gravitated towards. And so it feels like I'm at this place where I'm trying to answer a question that doesn't feel natural to me. And that feels weird because then I'm like, is something wrong with me as a woman? Is something wrong with me as a wife that like this is not something that I like want? You know, and I, I was, I had a really great conversation with one of my girlfriends about this this weekend. Um, and she was asking in a very kind and like respectful way about kids. We were having an open conversation and she was like, why don't you want to have children? Like, you know what, tell me, you know. And, and I was sharing like some of my, my reasons and perspectives. And I also said, like, I think that when that question gets asked to women who don't want to have children, but it never gets asked to women who have decided to have children.

Hmm.

And I don't think that's fair. Like, just because that is what, you know, if you're religious, you think that's what we're here to do, or biologically, like, that's what we're here to do. But like, Just because you can doesn't mean that that's something that you want or something that you know you want to pursue. So it's like just this big topic that feels. I feel like I have thought more about it in the last year than I have in my whole life. So that was a very long monologue, but that is what I'm in between right now, and I just want to be really intentional about whatever choice I decide to make. And then, you know, Matthew and I make together. But it does definitely like shift my life more than it ever will a man.

Mm-hmm.

And that's just like the truth. It impacts career, it impacts your dreams. And I think I look at it from that perspective. And I've talked to women that are like, children are such a gift and like, they're such a blessing. And I'm like, I believe that that is true. And I also believe that there are a lot of really beautiful ways to have a meaningful life. And I don't think that motherhood is the only way that you could have meaningful life or leave a legacy. So those are some of my thoughts, some of my hot takes, and something that, you know, as I approach 30 has just really been weighing on me lately.

Girl, I will forever admire your intentionality in life because like claps all around for you being like, okay, this gets asked to women that choose not to. And why doesn't it get asked to women? And I think that would help so many women too, to be intentional as you walk into things, right?

Yeah.

It's almost— it's also like marriage. You could be marrying the right partner, but if you're not asking the right questions of why are you marrying them, it might take you like quite a few bumps in your marriage to then land in that And so whether you guys end up in a yes or in a no situation, knowing that you're asking all these questions to bring you the most intentional decision is so beautiful. And I'm sure that there's women that are listening to that relate to this and are able to be like, oh yeah, why? Or even like, if you've always had this inkling, being able to then ask the opposite side of things so that you can fully assess a situation and be like, oh yeah, this is why I'm choosing this. Great, beautiful. And that you get to have that decision. And if there's one thing that I really love that our generation is bringing up is intentionality.

Yeah.

Because I think it will, for those people that do decide to have kids, it will bring up more healthy, emotionally mature children. than ever before. Because before, it's like, okay, you get married and you have a kid, and then you do this and then you do that. And then it's like, okay, and now we all have trauma because no one worked through that stuff.

Yeah, you didn't work through anything. And I was just having this conversation with my girlfriends about there not being a right time. And I actually disagree with that. I think there is a right time to try to have children. I mean, obviously there's a natural process there. Okay. But are you financially stable?

Yes.

Are you able to afford the livelihood of like you and your partner as well as your child? Have you worked through your own trauma? Are— can you emotionally regulate? How do you manage stress and anger? Like, there's so many aspects to raising a child that I don't know because I am not a mother, but I'm like, I'm trying to think through a lot of those scenarios and just trying to ask myself, if this is something that I decide that I don't want, am I going to regret it? Or if it— I guess I am trying to make decisions that don't breed resentment.

Yeah.

It's like I want to make decisions because they're ours, not because they're put on me from society or from just worldly pressure. And I don't want to resent anything. I don't want to resent any decision. And so far up to this point in my life, I honestly don't resent my choices.

Yeah.

So I just, I just like feel like I'm in this interesting place with it. So I definitely feel like so much softer towards the conversation than I have in the past. I think in the past I've been very defensive. I'll very emotional. Um, and I just feel like I'm in a place of peace with where I am, at least in this stage, as I kind of like curiously navigate whether or not, you know, we want to be parents. So yeah.

Thank you for sharing so honestly. Yeah.

Anyway, vulnerability jump scare. Um, let's talk about something else. Oh my gosh. Um, okay, so romanticizing your life.

Speaking of romanticizing your life, yes.

Um, are there aspects—

well, first let's start here.

What does romanticizing your life mean to you? Let's each answer this question.

I think it's appreciating your life as it is. I think it's the action of gratefulness Yeah, I agree.

I think that romanticizing your life also— there's an element of what I've seen portrayed online that's like you are curating and creating a romantic life where like, I'm gonna do all these things and I'm gonna plan this romantic thing so that I can romanticize the life that I'm living because I planned it.

Mm-hmm.

There's that aspect, which is True. Something that I've really been trying to practice the last couple months is like when I'm in a moment and I kind of step back from that moment and I'm like, wow, look at this.

Yeah.

This is exciting. Like, this is my life. I worked to do this. Or look at all the opportunities and doors that had to open and close for me to get here. That I'm trying to practice that in the middle of it instead of like trying to curate it. Because I think in the past I've tried to curate romantic romanticism, and now I'm just like literally trying to acknowledge it when it's happening, if that makes sense.

I love that. Yeah, for sure. I think being able to appreciate the moments you're already in, that's really the aspect of like romanticizing your life that I have loved. It's Especially as someone that's very goal-oriented. If you ask me right now anything that I might want in 5 years, I could answer that. But then at the same time being like, okay, but 5 years ago, I would've never thought that I would be exactly where I'm at right now.

Mm-hmm.

And so it's that in-between of being able to appreciate the everyday life moments, the, oh, I get to have a morning routine and not have to rush to a job. I get to work with my dream clients. I get to do— I get to travel. I get to do all these things. That then we're able to romanticize that experience.

Yeah, I agree. I think it's— I love like the reframe of I get to instead of I have to. I think that's another aspect of like romanticizing life. It's actually something one of my early mentors— I think I was like 18, um, Mr. L actually— he was like reframing the have to to get to. Yeah, because it's like every, every action is an opportunity for something. It's an opportunity to honor your goals. It's an opportunity to connect. It's an opportunity to keep your promises. Like, whatever it is, anything, any action that you're about to take is actually an opportunity. And that's something that you get to enter into, not something that you have to do. Um, and I like love that reframe.

I absolutely love that. I, as I was thinking about tonight's conversation, I was thinking back to, I had a really hard week last week and I needed to take a step back from all this work and all these things that were happening. And I actually ordered HelloFresh for the week because I didn't want to go full on grocery shopping before Paris. And as I was like taking the stuff out and I was just like, oh, I'm just gonna like make dinner. And like I could catch my mindset of get through it, eat so I can just like go to bed and like fall asleep because it's just life is so heavy right now.

Yes.

And then I stopped myself and I was like, no, like we're gonna enjoy this. We're gonna take a step back, shut our brains Put some fun jazz music, and we're going to romanticize this moment. And so I think sometimes when people think about romanticizing your life, they think they have to go and spend all this money and do something different. It's the same routine. I still have to cook and I still have to eat, but taking a reframe of the action and being like, I'm going to be present in this. And wow, how lovely that I'm actually cooking a homemade meal for myself when a lot of times I might go and eat out. It's just that reframe process.

Yeah, I agree. As you were talking through that of like getting through it, it made me think about Paris actually. So I am going to— well, we, you and me, we're going to Paris with 2 of my other good girlfriends to celebrate my 30th and just celebrate life together. It's not necessarily just for my birthday, but I'm using it as an excuse. And through this planning process, I've been looking at all the different places and saving really cool locations on Google Maps. And I've caught myself being like, okay, what are we going to be doing there? And in this moment, are we going to be having fun? And I'm trying to visualize everything. And through this conversation, I was also like, I need to leave room for life.

Hmm.

And I think that's a big piece of romanticizing your life is when you're trying to plan and you're trying to be so intentional. Sometimes when we are so plan and goal-oriented, we don't always leave room or margin for life to happen.

Yeah.

And so it's like, oh, well, we got to get to the next thing. And I'm like, one, I don't want Paris to have that energy. But also it's like, that is a very common tendency when we're trying to, like, as you said while you're cooking dinner, get through it. And it's like we don't pause to like let life in a little bit and just kind of fill in the cracks to all the plans that we've made, you know?

For sure. It's a skill set of being mindful and be where your feet are at. It really is what brings like the romanticism because we tend to just be one step ahead of everything. Um, I think too, like an aspect of romanticizing your life that I have actually got inspo from TikTok from and I've really loved is like infusing your everyday routines with a little bit of extra things that when you travel make you feel so relaxed and loved. And I don't know, that element of travel that just feels like luxurious and wonderful. Like, how can you incorporate that into your everyday life? So for example, like, I— sometimes you'll pack your favorite PJs for travel. And so how can you have nice PJs? So if you don't you always gravitate towards that option, then now your bedtime routine feels a little bit better. Or like taking a bath or downlighting, right? I love downlighting at night, just being able to feel that, um, and just kind of like ease into it. Like some of my favorite hotel rooms have had that.

Yes.

And you just feel so relaxed. Even just, um, smells too. My Airbnb in Dallas had this amazing shower gel, and the smell of it just like put me in a whole different mindset. And so now I want to like incorporate that into my home and have those smells of that too. So how can you— pretty much I would say, how can you walk through your senses, what you see, what you touch, what you like, all of it, what you smell, and be able to incorporate those things that make you feel so alive, so present. Or even if you're just sitting outside on your porch, like, take a second. Like, what do you see? What colors do you see? What flowers do you see? Like, you're seeing your dog, you're seeing your husband, you're seeing the neighbors. Okay, what do you smell like? Does it smell like spring? Does it smell like summer? Like, there's so many ways to be able to just appreciate. And this is coming from someone that has really struggled to be present and has really struggled to not be thinking of the next thing. So walking through the senses and what I feel around me has really allowed me to really experience all of that. I love that.

I think the call out of how to be mindful of your senses is such a beautiful practice to build. So it's almost like when you're in a moment and you're feeling stressed, or you're kind of like you're doing the thing but you're not necessarily feeling the thing, I think that's another aspect of romanticizing your life is actually like feeling what you're doing or really being fully present in the moment. I love the call out of the 5 senses. Something that can be really difficult that can get in the way or almost block romanticizing your daily life is stress.

Yes.

Stress, anxiety, mental health like depression, There's just a lot of. I think it can, it can skew our perspective, and I think a lot of like let's just take stress for example. Stress says everything is urgent, and you're not doing any of it right, and so everything's on fire. Therefore, like let's we're just really, really overwhelmed. We're catastrophizing everything. It can it just very, very difficult for us to get. perspective because everything feels big, right? Like even the smallest thing that your partner does or like someone cuts you off, you're like, are you kidding me? Like, you know, because everything is big.

Yeah.

So we aren't romanticizing anything when we're stressed. So it's like, okay, how do you manage that stress? How do you invite perspective in? Or when you're anxious, Like even you saying like, I was feeling really anxious. How do I slow things down? Why am I anxious? Like, what's going on? What's really at play here? How can I invite some perspective in? Or like, um, when I— I'll speak for myself— when I am feeling depressed, I isolate and hermit. So I'll— I'm very, very stationary. I just want to be horizontal and I don't want anyone to talk to me. Well, I'm not romanticizing shit besides my pantry, right? Like the other thing that's exciting is like the walk to the pantry. What goodies await me in my stupor? So real.

So true.

I mean, seriously, I'm in love with my pantry. But for real though, like, so then it's like, okay, well, am I— I'm in this state. I've been here now for 3 days. Can I just go sit out on my porch for 10 minutes and just breathe in the fresh air with no phone? Like that in and of itself is an aspect of romanticizing. Like I'm not out of my current situation. I still feel depressed. Or you might still feel stressed.

Mm-hmm.

But are there ways that you can just pause long enough to See that you're alive, that even though things feel big, bad, scary, or uncomfortable, you will find your way on the other side of it because all of the evidence of your life has proven that to you.

Right.

And is there any aspect of gratitude for the moment that you can invite in? You know, like even being grateful for the fact that like, well, It's 6 o'clock at night and I made it through another workday and that feels really good and I want to celebrate that. Like something just as small as that. But it's like, I think that sometimes romanticizing your life, in my opinion, when I've been in low seasons, can feel like toxic positivity.

Absolutely.

So that's why I wanted to bring that up because I feel like it's like a little bit of a blocker. What do you think?

Absolutely. 100%. And I think it can feel like an added stressor, especially if you are in the self-development space. You're like, I should be more grateful. I should, I should in this aspect. And I think releasing that and really a big part of this whole theme of creating your dream life outside of your 9 to 5 is so that you can get to the point of romanticizing your life because you do have a beautiful life right where it's at, even though you might be building and creating for the future. And so like you mentioned, if you have this extremely stressful job, and then now you carry all this stress and tension, there's no way— or like, it might be a little bit harder for you to get to the point of romanticizing where you want to be. And so how can you learn these stressing, like, coping mechanisms too, or take like small actions so that you can live that full life, that you can truly romanticize a lot of aspects of it? And, and I 100% agree, like, whenever there's been times of mental health or depression or sadness, that is the last thing I'm doing. I am rolling from one thing to another, and that's okay.

Rolling from one surface to the next.

Literally. And that's okay. To be fully transparent, last week was so heavy. And this is kind of funny, I guess, but I went to the dentist and I knew I was feeling anxious, but I went to the dentist and they were going to do some x-rays on me. So they put this really heavy thing me to, you know, protect me. Yeah, I felt like I could suddenly breathe again.

Oh, that's how anxious I was. The weightedness. Because of the weight. Do you have a weighted blanket?

I don't, but it made me, it made me so aware of my level of stress and anxiousness. I was like, okay, need to take some time today to do some deep breathing. To like, I was gonna skip the gym. I was like, screw this. Like, I'm just gonna go back to my house and You know, not do anything and just be sad.

Escape.

Escape. And then that gave me like a full-on warning sign, like, okay, we need more air in our system. We need to breathe, we need to relax, we need to incorporate these aspects. And so a part of creating your dream life outside of your 9 to 5 is perhaps taking time to be aware of where even are you emotionally. And I know this is not really along the lines of romanticizing your life, but in general with the theme, take that time to be you, to give yourself some time and space to journal, to cope, to whatever it is that you need to then get to this space where you're like, okay, great. Now I can appreciate where I'm at no matter my emotions and my feelings.

Yeah. I love the piece around the weightedness. I think weighted blankets, I have one.

They're fantastic. I need— I realize that I need.

They're very good, um, especially for if you're struggling with sleep as well. Like, they have a lot of really great benefits. But yeah, I think that when you're in seasons— okay, when you're thinking about romanticizing your life, I think there are levels to it. Like, there's baseline level of like the daily Then I feel like there's also like I'm romanticizing a little bit of my future of like, okay, what's possible for me?

Mm-hmm.

Towards the end of last year, it's like the lucky girl syndrome. Anything is possible. Good things come to me. You're being very abundant. You're being like that attractive magnet energy. That's like being very romantic about what's possible for your future. There's also an aspect of romanticizing your past.

Mm-hmm.

Where I'm looking at my past, and even though there are things that were hurtful and hard, so many of those things led me to the strong, you know, person that I am today. And I look at those obstacles as lessons. And I, even though there are people in my life that I'm not maybe as close with anymore, I'm so thankful for the friendships and the moments that we had in the seasons that we did. And like, looking at it from that perspective where it's just It's just offering, I think, a positive, optimistic, grateful, loving, and empathetic perspective to your life.

Absolutely.

So, it's not just like, oh my gosh, I've got my toes in the grass. The sky is out. You know, like, it's a good day to be alive. You know, like, yes. And I think that we can actually, like, gift that to our whole life. Not just the daily.

Yes. And even beyond the daily, creating those experiences for yourself too, I think is important. Like taking the time to, okay, what are some things that I love? And instead of just going through the motions, um, actually walking yourself through it. So for example, um, when I was single, I would take myself out on a lot of solo dates. So I might go to the, the grocery store and I would pick up some sushi to go and kombucha and go out to the lake and get a good book and just play my music and just relax and journal and just flow through things without time constraints or anything. And that was a big level of self-love and relaxation and romanticizing my life that brought me so much healing. And whether you're with a partner or not, having those experiences by yourself can be so fulfilling. And so whatever it is that you're wanting to do, whether it's, you know, you want to go to a new workout class or you want to have a really slow Saturday morning or you want to do a solo trip. I took a solo trip once and had a lot of people reach out about it. And I think that was an element of romanticizing your life too, of like, okay, I'm driving out there, I have the playlist. What do I need? What do I want? And I think ultimately, That is romanticizing your life. It is you defining what it is that makes your life romantic. For someone, it might be slowness and stillness, and for somebody else, it might be adventure and like being very active. And so what is it that you want and need in this season? And give that to yourself.

I love that you brought this up around like the individualism, I guess, that comes along with romanticizing your life. I think that we can wait to say, I can't do that until I have X. I can't romanticize my life until I have the perfect job, the amazing partner, the perfect friend group, when I finally have that house I've been saving for, whatever it is. And I think it's an invitation to romanticize where you are right now, but I also think that there's an aspect of romanticizing your life that deepens your friendship and relationship with yourself. Because I think there's a level of awareness, like you said, like getting in the car and putting on music that you like because you're asking yourself, what would I like to play?

Yeah.

And like, it's this honoring relationship with yourself where you're getting to choose and then you're getting to honor the choice by following through. And I think like that's another aspect I think of like practicing confidence and practicing, you know, self-esteem is really being in touch with what you want and giving that to yourself, you know, within reason.

For sure.

I want, you know, a Fendi bag.

Well, you know, but like, don't go broke doing that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Within, you know what I'm saying?

For sure. Yeah, ultimately, I think it's just about creating the life that you want, chasing those things, giving yourself what you need, having real and honest conversations with yourself. Because at the end of the day, what I find romantic about my life is not going to be the same thing as yours. And so really, this is an invitation for you to get to know yourself a lot better, um, and recognize that what you need in this season is not what you're going to need in the next season. And that's beautiful. Maybe in the summertime, you want to be more active. And then other times you might not. And so that will be a great way for you to kind of like, if you're wondering where to start with this, start with asking yourself questions, start with like, as you're on social media, or you're observing other people, what things do you gravitate towards? What things spark your interest and start leaning into those practices. And overall, I think a great start is just starting with gratefulness in any moment that you're in. And just being right where your feet are at.

Yeah, I love that. I think too, if you're in a place where you're looking around at your life and you're like, I don't— I'm having a hard time, like I'm, I'm having a hard time practicing gratitude or romanticizing anything, or maybe there are a lot of aspects of my life that just feel in between, maybe they feel a little bit messy. That's also okay. Um, are there aspects to like, I know this sounds weird, but can you wear your favorite pair of underwear?

Yeah.

Everyone has a favorite pair of underwear. You weren't expecting me to say that.

No, but that's amazing.

Like, there might be a lot of things in your circumstances that feel hard or outside of your control, or, you know, you're, you're working through them, you're growing through them. But like something like literally like wearing my favorite bra and underwear just hits Yeah. Reaching for my favorite hoodie or my favorite pair of denim or going to my favorite coffee shop once a week and getting a matcha. Like, those are really small things, but like, are there, are there still things in your life that you can still choose and be an active participant in, even at the smallest scale of like picking out your favorite undies?

Absolutely. And I think that overall, whether our lives are at a great high or, or at a low, So that practice of how can I invite this even in a small way helps to create this normalcy in us that it's not that I get this when things are high.

Yes.

I get to have a romantic and a present and a great life even when things feel chaotic. And I am able to separate in my mind, like take that escape. You deserve to rest. You deserve all of this. Actually, last week, when I was going through that really hard time, I couldn't fall asleep and my mind was just racing and racing and racing and racing. And I stopped myself for a second and I was like, you know what? This is hard. This is uncomfortable. And I deserve rest. I deserve to not do it. And I just spoke to myself and I was like, I can find peace even when my life feels chaotic. And I was like, so we're going to start right now and we're going to start focusing. And I started meditating. And I put white noise and it was still hard to fall asleep, but I was able to sleep. And so in those elements, kind of like you brought up of the coffee, the things that you like to wear, the places you like to go, you still deserve that even when your life feels chaotic. And gifting yourself those few minutes can feel like a breath of fresh air when you don't feel like you have much air around you.

Yeah, big time. Big time. What would you say is an aspect of your life right now that you're trying to romanticize a little bit more? Where I live.

Kind of tying it back to the beginning. I'm very grateful for where I live. I think it's such a beautiful community and area. And it is hard when you get to travel and you get to experience different things and then you miss that because you have the And so I'm learning to romanticize and appreciate my life right now when I am home and not try to feel like I need to escape my place. What about you?

Oh, um, hmm. I'm trying to romanticize this book that I am writing or avoiding writing right now. Um, just full transparency on the pod. You guys get see the most real version of me. Yeah, I think I am trying to romanticize the writing process a little bit more and trying to just be more, lower the stakes and just romanticize the process and not romanticize the end result.

Yeah.

Because I think a book and writing a book and something that is as meaty of a project as that, it's a legacy project. I think that there's a lot of expectations attached to it. And so I'm trying to actually detach the end result from the process because right now I'm not even doing the process. So the end result, how can the end result even happen if we aren't in the process?

Mm-hmm.

So I'm really trying to romanticize that and trying to release expectations and just get words on paper. Um, first, and then I can figure everything else out about the end result when it's time for that. Kind of like the wait to worry or the, like, you know, just focus on the next right step. I just need to, like, be in this right now. But yeah, that's what I'm trying to romanticize a little bit more.

I love that. I think that it can be so hard when you're a creative or creator to separate those. And to just be in flow. And I feel like romanticizing the work that we get to create can help us separate from all the noise of the media and social media and marketing, et cetera, and just be like, okay, I'm a creator. I get to create art. I get to create a meaningful piece.

Yeah.

And that's it. I'm just doing it for me and for that one person that it will impact. And I'm sure it'll impact You know, millions hopefully, but just just like bringing it down that scale. There's something so beautiful about it. And as you were speaking, it like brought me to like when I'm editing, it's like everything sometimes in my business feels so chaotic. Like it's just it's intimidating, you know, of seeing how other people run their businesses and you're like, oh my god, do I need to be doing this and that? And and it's just like you're running. And then when I like come back into my own little world with my clients, like. It feels like eye to eye when I'm editing the photos and the music's playing. It's like, okay, all the noise is out and this is what I get to create. And I love that you're able to find that through this process of you writing that book. And to anyone that's a creator that's listening, being able to take a step back and romanticizing the process, which can be very messy.

Yeah, it definitely can. Anything else you want to add? Any other questions on romanticizing your life?

That was my last question. I don't think so. I think we did a really great job at covering so many aspects of it.

Us?

Look at us being so romantic. Yes.

Um, yeah, I really enjoyed this theme as a whole. Um, next week's episode is all about like a Q&A, um, for us on literally anything, any topic that you want advice on. We've had people write in for advice. on relationships, their career, literally anything. You can DM us any question and we'll answer it live on the pod next week. You can message us at inbetween.pod. Or if you want to connect with me personally, you can do that at Alexis Teichmiller on Instagram.

Or you can connect with me at Astra Johanna Photo. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope that you have all enjoyed this theme. I'm so excited for the Q&A that we'll get to have. And we're gonna have a special episode coming up as well, because Alexis is turning 30. So after the Q&A episode, I'm gonna interview her, um, pretty much the in-between that you find yourself in. So we'll do some reflecting on her 20s and see what she is dreaming of for her 30s. So lots of fun episodes coming up. We cannot wait to record those, and we will catch you next time.