The Dopamine Menu: Mindful Ways to Feel Good

Welcome to The In Between Podcast. I'm Astrid.

And I'm Alexis. Join us as we explore the messy yet beautiful in-between seasons of life.

We'll discuss business, relationships, wellness, and everything in between to help you become the highest version of yourself.

Let's dive in.

Hello friends, and welcome back to another episode of The In Between Podcast. This is one half of the pod, Astrid.

And the other half, Alexis. Today on the podcast, we are talking through dopamine, dopamine detoxing, creating a healthy dopamine menu. And we were prepping for this with the mindset of Thanksgiving is coming up. We know what that means other than being grateful and hanging out with our family and friends and eating a bunch of yummy food. It also means that there's a ton of Black Friday, Cyber Monday sales. There's a ton of consumerism and like in preparation for the holidays. And we can have this FOMO of like, we don't want to miss out on deals, but then we also have the dopamine rush of buying things. And so we just kind of wanted to talk through what that has been like for us. And then we also prepped some research and we're going to talk through how to create your own dopamine menu. I'm really looking forward to this. I feel like I learned a lot whenever we were prepping for this. And I feel like it's going to help me hold myself accountable, like heading into a very shopping, consumerism-focused time of the year.

Absolutely. I love that we're chatting about it on the forefront of it because I remember 2 years ago I did a dopamine detox in January and it came on the back end of, oh my gosh, I just consumed so much content. I just bought so many things. I just felt like my credit card got swiped way too many times. and it was not intentional and I just needed a fresh start. So I think that being able to have that now at the forefront for us, but also for our listeners to more consciously consume in throughout the holidays, as well as just stay grounded and just become more aware of how dopamine impacts your everyday lives. And we are not psychiatrists or scientists, so this is very much us sharing the knowledge that we have learned from other people So if you're interested in this, you can definitely continue to research it, but I think it's going to be such a great discussion. And, um, I'm excited for the dopamine menu part of it too.

Me too.

Me too.

I'm excited to talk through that. Before we get into all the nitty-gritty of the episode, let's do some quick life updates. What's up? What's new? Give me the 411.

The 411 is that your girl is a maid of honor this week in a wedding. So I will not be shooting. I will be actually in there which is very, very different for me. I've never done a maid of honor speech. I've been a maid of honor before, but they nixed the speeches part before. So I— yeah, it's been fun. It's been so different to be on this side of things and be like, how can I make this and help her have the best day ever? So, you know, all the prep, the travel, the surprises, like getting things together, the rush of it all. So I'm Super excited for that this week.

I can't wait to witness you being the maid of honor and watching our friend Nicole get married. I'm excited to attend, and I was like so honored to be invited. So Matthew and I are driving up to be there. It's going to be beautiful. I can't wait. On the life update side of things, your girl's locking in on Instagram. I am really focusing on creating more content. That's valuable and fun and helping women either like connect with themselves, reconnect with themselves, and get clear on what they want. And I'm having a lot of fun with it. I am just testing things and getting a lot of feedback, which has been really fun. And overall, like I have dabbled and used Instagram as a fun way to build a community and to connect with people all over. But I haven't necessarily had the consistency there, and I really want to focus on that. So that's kind of a life update of just locking back in to creating, and it's been really fun. And instead of honestly like this, I'm exposing myself, but instead of spending like three hours on watching TV and watching shows, I'm instead like researching fun trends and. Like creating content that I really like. And I feel like that's a better use of my time right now. And the TV will always be there. It'll be there on the weekends for me. So I'm, I'm kind of like restructuring some of my routines and things like that after work. And that's been really fun to play around with and to prove to myself that I can do it.

Hmm. I love that so much. And I met you first from your creator world and you traveling all over and posting on Instagram and You just have such a talent for bringing community together. So seeing how you're doing that in this season differently is so fun to witness. And yeah, I get to witness so many parts of your story. And so seeing you being able to share that with others is so beautiful and see how others encourage you too. I love it. I love creator Alexis, all the sides of you, but I love seeing this as well.

Thank you. It feels really lighthearted. And I think That was one of my goals for this year. If y'all remember and have been listening throughout this episode, or sorry, throughout the season over the year, is I started this episode— episode, I keep saying episode. I started this year saying that I want to have more fun and I want things to be more lighthearted. And I'm really feeling at the end of the year, like the conversation around kids that we had last week on the podcast and like creating content again and feeling excited. Like I just want to have a very intentional but lighthearted approach to life, and it's feeling like it's actually coming together. And I feel really grateful to be actually like living out that intention because I feel like I've taken some side quests this year, and I feel like I'm ending out the year on like a good note. So, okay, with that, uh, what are you in between right now?

Hmm, our favorite question. Um, there's quite a few things. I will say the biggest thing that I find my brain gravitating towards is I turned 30 a week ago, and I feel like there were some general things that I had in my brain about, and I even shared in our episode of what I want this next decade to look like. And to be honest, with such a busy season, I don't feel like I got a lot of time to really sit on it. Or maybe it's just now hitting me post-birthday, like, I'm actually 30. And so I've been in a season where a lot of people have been asking, like, what advice would you give to your 20-year-old self? Or today I went to go speak at an event. They're like, what advice would you give to your high school self? And that advice keeps gravitating more towards, like, dream bigger and, like, just feel more secure in yourself and your gifts and your talents. And I guess I don't want to get— I feel like I do trust myself, but I want to push myself to dream even bigger for my 30s. So whatever it is that I have in my brain right now, I want to double that. And then it's like, what does that look like to double that in my lifestyle, in my personal life, in my business, in the impact that I want to have in the world? Like so many different layers of it. And so that's really like the question that is top of mind for me right now. And even just shooting a wedding this past weekend, I'm like, do I want to be in this space 10 years from now, 5 years from now? And it's just a lot of questions. And I'm sure a lot of people, as you turn a new decade, like that is very normal. Um, but yeah, I am just sitting with that as also the year ends and like, how do I want to approach next year and be more intentional with it.

Oh, I, I resonate with that a lot, like the dreaming bigger piece and pushing what you think you want, or like even what you— when you envision like what success is or what your dream life is or whatever goal that you're trying to achieve, and being like, is that big enough for me? And I think I love that you're having these kinds of reflections and asking yourself those questions because I think it just leads to even more intentional decision-making. And I mean, you know that you'll be amazing at whatever you end up doing, but like I hear you on the kind of the stretching your mindset of like sometimes your mindset comes up with ideas based on what you think is possible. And a lot of times dreaming bigger means you have to think about the impossible and there's no limits. And so it's kind of an interesting mind gymnastics. Yeah.

And quite honestly, I think it started from on my birthday, everyone saying these beautiful things that they thought about me. And it's like, I have so much faith in my friends and their careers. And I'm like, yeah, they're incredible. Of course they're going to achieve all these things. But I think seeing myself through the lens of others, it made me feel more capable than I feel about myself. And even writing my maid of honor speech, I'm like, yeah, I feel like she also sees me through those eyes. And so I guess in a way, I feel like my community has really lifted me up where I feel more capable now. And I'm like, what would happen if I double it? So I'm very grateful for that and the importance too of having good community. But what are you currently in between?

I love that, that, that moment at your birthday dinner has like transpired into all these thoughts. That's, that's amazing. Um, okay, what am I in between right now? So many things, as you mentioned. I'm trying to like pluck one out and figure out which one to mention. But, um, I would say, let's see, with the holidays coming up, I have been thinking a lot about how I want to spend my time and not putting so much pressure on myself. And this is especially for like my long-distance daughters and sons who live away from your friends and family. And when you come home, there is an immense amount of sometimes pressure to attend everything and say yes to a lot and also bring like your best energy to every interaction because you don't see these people that you love so much very much. Like you don't see them very often. And so you kind of have to like pull from the depths of your energy reserves. And I find myself sometimes needing to be on or needing to be like, okay, I'm like in it. And I'm asking all the intentional questions and I'm like very present. And as much as I still want to bring that energy to all my relationships over the holidays between Hosting my family for Thanksgiving, and also being home for a couple of weeks for Christmas and New Year's. Something I'm in between right now is trying to use the this time with my people for it to be restorative and for it to be relaxing and restful and slow and meaningful, and not feel this sense of urgency of like okay I went and saw Asher we had coffee and now I've got to go to this and I've got to go okay now we're having dinner here like. I get really— I get kind of high-strung. And as I'm planning, I have 3 separate Thanksgivings. I'm hosting Friendsgiving, Matt and I are having our own Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day, and then my parents are coming in for Thanksgiving weekend. And so lots of hosting and fun things. And then don't even get me started on Christmas. And instead of this viewing this as an anxious thing to put together and everything needs to be perfect, Really just like slowing down and saying, I just want to spend time with these people, and I'm not going to enjoy this quality time if I'm stressed about all the logistics and the food and how clean everything is and did I tie this bow correctly and whatever. So I think that has been something I've been toying with subconsciously and trying to kind of pull up and be like, hey, this is These are our intentions for the holidays, and how can we honor that desire in us to want to have rest and relaxation with people we love instead of it feeling like one big bus club, another club, another club, another club, and the urgency that comes with that?

Oh my gosh, I love this. Literally, as you were talking, I felt chills down my back and like my shoulders just relax. Because I think we can all relate to that, where you're wanting to have that intentional time with people, but then you kind of put yourself in a position where the holidays aren't restorative for you. And so I love that challenge of what would it look like to make it restorative and still be intentional and just kind of let things flow and creating some breathing room and some space. And yeah, I think like— So Sometimes we do try to squeeze so much in because you're either in town for just 2 weeks or you live in town and everyone's coming in just for a week or 2 and you want to see everyone as well. So yeah, I love that challenge. And I think just prioritizing those main things and then just letting everything flow would be, you know, just make the holidays a little more peaceful.

Yeah. And like release the guilt. If you feel any level of guilt for attending something or not attending something, just listen to yourself. Like if you really don't want to go, don't. Or if you really want to say yes and you need to say no to something else, like just honor what your gut and your intuition is telling you. Um, there is nothing worse than being somewhere that you don't want to be or spending time in a way that you don't really want to spend time.

Yeah.

So I think that's another thing of like, how can we honor our own boundaries and, and energy this holiday season? So with that, let's talk about how to manage our dopamine this, um, this holiday season as well. So do you want to talk first about like how you're kind of approaching dopamine mixed with like gratitude and groundedness? Because I loved how you were talking about this when we were prepping for this episode.

Yeah, I feel like this time of year, without intention, we just kind of let consumerism take us. And it's not just about the shopping side of things. I think it's also about people are traveling, people are doing other stuff, and you're like, oh, well, my house isn't pretty enough, my table isn't good enough, my dinner isn't good enough, my present isn't large enough. And I think it's a matter of being able to take a step back and how can we rewire our brain from always needing more to I am enough and what I bring to the table is enough and everyone can either appreciate it or can step out. And so I think that that's something that I'm working through as well is like how to simply enjoy the house that I'm in, simply enjoy the family that I have, simply enjoy the clothes I already have and like create some new kind of wardrobe out of it rather than this will make me feel fill in the blank. And that's really where the conversation originated from. And a lot of times it led into the dopamine because a lot of times we lead into buying things or doing things to get that little hit of dopamine. And it's a very real thing that mixes in with consumerism and the holidays.

Yeah, I, I love this because I think another aspect of this time of year is perception and status. And it's like, I want to have the best outfit, I want to give the best gift, I want to host the prettiest party that everyone takes pictures of and puts on their social media. Like, I think that maybe this isn't for everybody, but there's like a subliminal aspect of needing to Posture yourself, and it feels a little bit performative. But a lot of the times we're like trying to appear in some kind of way. And do I think there's anything wrong with wanting to look nice? No. I mean, you know this about me by now. But like there, it is important that when you're making decisions to really understand the root. And so when it comes like those dopamine spikes, you know, wanting to hit every sale, wanting to. Eat everything, wanting to drink everything. I mean, the holidays are also really heavy alcohol-related events. New Year's, like a lot of that can be tied to wanting to lower social anxiety, wanting to feel like you can fit in, wanting a kind of a crutch, if you will. Like there's a lot of different reasons why we run to different things. And I think that an aspect of what Astrid and I are trying to surface in this conversation is intentionality. And like, how well do you know why you're actually making that decision? And is it something that you truly want to do? Is it something that you need to do? Are you avoiding something? Are you emotionally triggered by something that happened with your family or whatever? And so you're like, I'm just gonna like go in and I'm gonna eat a whole pie or I'm gonna drink a whole bottle of wine. Like, And I'm not saying that lightly because those are things that I have literally done. So I know this feeling very well. And I think it's like helpful to recognize that pattern and say, okay, I'm feeling emotionally triggered, or I'm feeling very overwhelmed by social media. Everybody's doing unboxings or Christmas hauls. And maybe you didn't do Christmas this year. Maybe, you know, you're putting your financial efforts somewhere else. And so you're feeling like, wow. I feel left out, or I didn't get what I wanted, or I'm not having the holiday season that I want. And it's like, can you find that dopamine somewhere else that is in your control, that feels more healthy and sustainable for you, and not getting it from like spending time online and comparing yourself or picking up unhealthy habits that with repetition can become really damaging and detrimental to you?

Absolutely. And I think this is also a season where if you've experienced any kind of growth in your life and you've shifted from being a certain kind of person that maybe doesn't follow certain habits anymore— for example, maybe you used to eat unhealthy and then now you are committed to eating healthy, and whatever that looks like for you in this season— but then being around family, which is where perhaps you learned all your eating choices, then it feels there's something emotional about eating like your family does. And so that's just one example. But I think it's important when you've gone through any growth seasons to make certain statements of who you are now as you head into the holidays. Like, I used to shop every Black Friday. Now I'm financially responsible and I have $300 set aside for Black Friday sales, period. That is a solid period, not a question mark. And then whatever statement that looks like for you. Like, I used to throw my movement out the window when the holidays came around, but now I prioritize my wellness and I will continue my movement routine no matter where I go. Like, certain things of like, what have you committed to yourself? And don't let this season then just like roll on over and pull you back into those habits because it is easy. Like, you're around that environment. So it's really about, like you said, intentionality. And that's what we'll chat through today— how to recreate that dopamine menu, how to refocus and go in with a game plan as the holidays approach.

Yeah. So whenever I was doing some research on this, I— for that, for those of you that are like, okay, what is dopamine really? What is it I hear it a lot on social media. I feel like this has been something that I've seen a lot on TikTok. The term dopamine menu was also coined by someone on YouTube and then it became popular on TikTok. And so what does this actually mean? So a book that I have not read, but I have heard great things about and pulled this from, um, it's called Dopamine Nation and it's from a psychiatrist named Dr. Anna Lembke. And she writes that dopamine is a neurotransmitter of wanting. So it's it's what makes pursuing goals so pleasurable. Dopamine is released in our brains whenever we encounter rewards or natural reinforcers. It's reinforcing some behavior and rewarding us, and that helps us survive and thrive. So food, sex, novelty, friendship, praise, money are all natural reinforcers, and whenever we encounter them, dopamine is released, which helps create a neurological pathway in our brains. So that we repeat that same behavior that helped us attain the rewards previously. And I know you and I've talked a lot about like, you've done somatic therapy and somatic coaching and like talking about truly like rewiring your brain pathways. This applies to dopamine as well, because when you teach your brain, ooh, this feels good. This feels good. I want to do it again. And I want to do it again. And I want to do it again. So this translates into online shopping. You feel really good in the moment, and then you know the package arrives two to three days later, and you don't really feel anything when you open it. You're like, oh, what is this? Cool. I've definitely been there in seasons of my life or on TikTok. Like, oh, this feels really nice. Like I'm cozy, kind of watching TikTok. I'm this feels very entertaining. This feels very educational. This feels very like lovely. And then you scroll for thirty minutes, an hour, two hours. 3 hours, and that dopamine hit has already reached its limit. You've already actually reached the— it's basically plateaued. And you're kind of now tapering into, this doesn't make me feel good. I don't like seeing this. I'm actually comparing myself. But you can't stop. And so there's like lots of different ways that we can, one, notice the neurological pathways that we have carved to go get dopamine, And then we can also go find healthy dopamine somewhere else and smaller doses.

Yeah, absolutely. I also love this. I know we have a lot of high achievers that listen to our podcast, and I think even within our jobs, our careers, and our businesses, we get such a high every time that something goes well. You made a big sale, you booked that one client you really wanted, you posted that content that you really wanted to To do, and that's great. Like you're getting that dopamine or dopamine from something that is productive. But I also think that sometimes we can get too addicted to it, and then we are looking for that next thing in business. And it's really, really hard then after your quote unquote busy season, or when you're wanting to be present with family around the holidays. Like how do you bring your nervous system down from that hit and that high that you get from responding to everyone? And it's a real struggle of being able to rewire your brain when you're a high achiever that is probably consistently getting that high from your goals and your business and your career.

Yeah, agreed. I'm glad that you brought this up because there was also something in my research that was talking about when you reach a goal or they talk a lot about this with athletes, so post-Super Bowl, post- big achievements, sometimes there can be a lull or it's basically a dopamine deficit is what it's called. And it's where you can kind of go into like a little bit of a depression or your mental health starts to suffer. And I've experienced this even with summits. Like summits for my work, the virtual summits, they take 2 to 3 months to plan. And then the day of, like you want to talk about dopamine. Like the chat, it's hours of being live. And then you go offline and you just sit with yourself. And I'm like, I feel nothing. Like you, you have this massive high and then you just kind of come down from it. And I'm sure you've had experiences like this as well. So what are some things that you can do to kind of reset yourself? One, you can truly do like a detox fast. So that thing that you have found that you were running to for dopamine, can you cut it out completely or Maybe you're doing it 100%. Can you cut it down to 20 to 30% and really like feel that you're doing less of it? Sometimes full like cold turkey detox doesn't work and can end up kind of reinforcing the behavior. So you know yourself best. I know Astrid, you've done like full detoxes. I've done detoxes from no spend months. Like I am not doing any online shopping and that's really helped me. Become a more mindful, conscious spender. But there's also aspects of like social media that I enjoy and that are part of my job and a part of like building a community that truly cutting out social media for 30 days— I've done it in the past, but I don't want to do it, but I want to do less of it. And so I think like the fasting detox can be really helpful and find a kind of a structure for it that fits best with you.

Yeah, I think adding to that too, because we have fasting and detoxing from it, but I think there's also substituting that with a different kind of dopamine hit. So for example, something that I've done for my shopping side of things is that whenever I feel the urge to buy something and to just like kind of prove to myself like, yeah, I like make enough to just like treat myself on a little sum sum, I'm like, okay, I got to look through my budget and update my budget first. And then like, how much more am I— can I add to my sinking funds? So the way that I quote unquote shop now is I have sinking funds for things that are actually exciting for me. Like I'm going on another Europe trip next year. I want to update certain things in my house. I have a shopping sinking fund. And so Every time that I want to do that and buy a random pair of shoes that's $150, I'm like, actually, I would rather add that to my Europe trip. So I end up transferring that money. I still get the hit from that transaction, but it's going to something bigger. And now that I've been to Europe, I have something to reference back on where I'm like, oh yeah, I know I wanted more money when I was there and now I'm actually going to go for it. So I think Substituting with a healthy habit that can still give you that kick is also really powerful.

I love that. And we're going to talk— I feel like that's the whole point of a dopamine menu is to like look for those substitutions. So I'm glad that you brought that up. One more thing I wanted to mention before we move on to dopamine menu is when you're looking at like a dopamine reset is are there areas where you can— this is again from like research, they called it press on the pain. So when you are seeking out dopamine, you're obviously seeking out pleasure or desire or wanting. And then on the backside of it, there's some aspect of pain or challenge or frustration. So like literally when you shop, you online shop and then you get all the packages and maybe you actually like see your credit card bill and you get frustrated or you get kind of mad at yourself. Are there areas where you can zero in on that frustration and that pain that you feel? And so some of their examples were cold showers and cold plunging. It's a healthy way to put yourself in a very physically uncomfortable and challenging place, and you get dopamine spikes from cold plunging. And the cool thing about that is the comedown of the dopamine. So instead of a spike, like a mountain, like up and down, the dopamine spike from cold showers, one, They've seen dopamine, dopamine growth 250% with cold showers and cold exposure, like over other dopamine substances or dopamine hits. And the comedown is actually quite gradual. So it's like a plateau from cold showers. So you actually feel the effects of the dopamine spike longer with cold exposure. Another one is exercise. Lifting heavy, putting like yourself in a physically uncomfortable position. And then is there something you can do physically like a house project or building something or putting your hands, like doing something tangible for the mind-body connection, but that's also a little frustrating in that you feel a sense of accomplishment after you do something really challenging. So that was something that resonated with me because I like challenge and I like I like healthy pain. And I was like, oh, that's interesting that I can get— and that also explains why I'm liking cold plunge and cold exposure so much. So anything to add to that before we move on to the dopamine menu?

No, just that I had my first cold plunge with you 2 weeks ago on my birthday, and— or a week ago. And I can attest to like that plateau, how you feel a little bit of I almost call it like a soft high where you're just like kind of riding this little light cloud after it. But when you actually experience it, it's definitely painful. It's very overwhelming. And you're like, I don't think I can make it. I don't think I can. I want to give in. And then you get that dopamine hit afterwards because you did it. And I feel like that's also a huge part of this is how can you reset some of that those dopamine hits that you get with maybe unhealthy habits or habits that you want to do less of and substitute or change for some of these things that can help rewire your dopamine receptors so that then you're like, okay, I'm craving something. You know what I'm craving? I'm craving a cold shower. And I hear that often. People crave the cold plunge and I get it now.

Yeah, it's because your brain is like, ooh, let's do something challenging that we're also going to be so proud of ourselves that we pushed through. Okay. dopamine menu. If you are not familiar with this term, the dopamine menu is a curated list of pleasurable, healthy habits and activities that naturally elevate your dopamine levels, boosting happiness, motivation, and focus. It provides an actionable and sustainable approach to prioritize your mental well-being. This concept originated actually from a YouTube video made by Jessica McCabe. She's the creator of the YouTube channel How to ADHD. She's also the author to How to ADHD: And she shares this concept as a way to help people with ADHD get the stimulation that their brains need to get more dopamine. And I thought this was super interesting. And then, as I mentioned earlier, this has kind of been picked up by TikTok and become quite popular over the last couple of months. But with the dopamine menu, just like a menu that you would go out to eat, you have an appetizer, entree, sides, dessert, and specials. And so we're going to explain each one of these, and then we're going to share some of our own. With you. So starting out with appetizers. So the appetizer section of the dopamine menu contains quick and actionable, accessible ways to produce dopamine. Since they're not time-consuming, they can be enjoyed throughout the day whenever you need a break. For example, looking at a picture you keep on your desk that brings you joy, a 5-minute meditation, your favorite afternoon snack, making yourself a cup of coffee, or cuddling with your pet. It's something that truly is like Under 5 minutes, very quick bite-size appetizer of dopamine. So an example for me is definitely that afternoon snack. Like 2 o'clock, 2:30, I'm like, I want some peanut butter toast with a banana and some honey and cinnamon sprinkled on top, or avocado toast or whatever I have, like an apple. But just making that afternoon snack feels so lovely to me and it gives me that little boost of dopamine. Another small one in the morning that I've noticed is drinking my greens with like cold water, a full cup of cold water with my greens. And I get so happy drinking that. I'm like, oh, this just makes me feel so good. And I love it. And also, there's something about drinking something cold in the morning that's supposed to be good for your digestive system. Don't quote me on that. And then another quick appetizer for me is sitting on my front porch for 5 minutes. This is something that I do, I would say, at least 3 to 4 times a week. Like, I've been in my office online, you know, recording or interviewing, just working, and I need to be outside, but I don't want to necessarily take a walk. I will just go sit on my front porch and I will just sit there without my phone and I'll just stare. And it's really nice. What about you? What are some appetizers for you?

I love that. Um, for me lately, a walk in nature has been huge. So in my neighborhood, about 10 minutes away from me walking, there are these beautiful horses. And truly, I get so much of a dopamine hit whenever I see those horses. Like, I walk with intention, and when I see them, I am so happy. And there's just something about nature that just melts my heart. And I think maybe down the road I'll end up having horses or something because I'm falling in love with them day by day. I love horses. We have a situationship.

You're in a relationship with these horses and they don't even know it. Yeah.

So that is a huge one, as well as sitting in the sun or walking in the sun. For me, as someone who is Hispanic, I was born in Venezuela, I grew up in Miami. Just being in the sun makes me so happy. So sometimes I'll just sit outside and let the sun hit my face. Or sometimes I'll just go for a walk and I love it. And the last appetizer for me, which I guess could be considered a dessert, is I love my bone broth chocolate. Like it's a little hot chocolate cup. It gives me the little chocolate scratch with it being healthy and it's just warm and cozy and I know it's like so good for me and my skin. So that is my current appetizer dopamine hit.

Wait, what brand is that?

It's, um, Nate— is it Nature Valley? Or it's like 100% grass-fed. I got it from Gracie Norton.

Oh, okay.

She promotes it. Um, or yeah, it doesn't get a kickback, but like, that's one of her favorites.

Okay.

Uh, yeah, it has like 10 grams of protein in it. It's under 100 calories. And, or yeah, and it's 100% grass-fed. So it's the only way that I've been able to drink, uh, and have bone broth because I don't personally love the soup vibe. So—

You mean you don't want to just drink a cup of chicken broth? Weird.

People love it.

I know, I know. There are some people that love it. I like the, like, chocolate broth part of it. I'm, I'm very curious about that. I need to try that.

You can't taste it at all, honestly. I'm getting all the info. Okay, so you want to— do you want me to go ahead and, um, do you want to talk about entrees?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so our entrees are of course our main course, and it will include longer activities that you may need to plan out and carve time out for to enjoy, but they're meant to recharge you more than the appetizers. So these could be a dinner date with a friend, going for a long walk, cooking your favorite meal, or doing like an arts and crafts Activity. So what are some of your entrees?

So mine are running or walking with Piper, and it needs to be longer than 45 minutes specifically. Like, a quick 15-minute walk doesn't do it for me for it to feel like the effects of an entree-sized portion of dopamine. Um, but yeah, I would say running and walking with Piper, dinner with friends or Matthew with no phones, like I'm pretty well a no phones person anyways, but just not having our phones out like at all, that just feels really nice to just be in conversation and community. Reading a book in a coffee shop or on my front porch really does something for me. Like being able to read specifically at a coffee shop just feels like my ideal self. I get so much dopamine from that and I honestly want to do it more. And then another entree for me, Aside from movement, because I kind of mentioned that, but like is Pilates. I'm really enjoying reformer Pilates and mat Pilates. Takes a little bit more time. I have to book it in advance, but like I leave that feeling like I feel amazing. I feel sexy. I feel like I can achieve anything. And then another one for me is organizing. I love organizing different parts of our house, and it's like when I want to shop. Specifically, I will go to my closet and I'll reorganize. I'll go to our drawers in our kitchen and reorganize. It's like, look at all the stuff that we already have. Can we organize it better? Can we make it more efficient to use? Can we— is there a way that we can organize it so we see it better, so that we know we have it, so that we use it more? That has been something I've really liked. What about you?

Yeah, I'm gonna 2 times on that one. Like, Whenever the new year comes and I'm able to reorganize like my condiments in my kitchen or like throw away or donate a bunch of stuff that I don't need anymore and being able to walk into an organized space is so freaking satisfying. So that is a big one for me too. A hot yoga class specifically for me is very challenging and I love like the mental toughness that it will put me through. Another one is checking things off my to-do list. So I love that this dopamine menu was designed by someone that, like, it was more geared towards ADHDers, because I feel like I have that tendency. And without meaning to, I've created a lot of systems for me that now I realize are for ADHD people. And so, like, my time blocking that I've done since college, that's an ADHD, like, tendency. Like, you will forget stuff unless it's in the calendar for me, as well as notes. And so I have my main to-do list for work. I have a side to-do list as far as what I need to get done this week. Like, if my mom tells me she needs something from me. And then I have my daily to-do list of like, Astra, do not forget to literally switch the laundry out. I will forget all of these things. So going through daily my main to-do list and knocking 80, 90% of it is such a huge dopamine hit for me, as well as at work. Um, painting is another one. It takes quite a bit of time and intentionality, but I love it. And then one that I forgot to put on here was going to a beach and like traveling, just like sitting in nature, being somewhere new is very, very stimulating for me and just trying new things. Um, so that would be— obviously it takes a lot more effort and time to travel, but definitely a big entree piece for me.

I love it. I love these. I'm getting so many ideas as well. The next one is sides. So the side section of the dopamine menu is reserved for activities that are ideal for accompanying other tasks that are less enjoyable but necessary. So think putting on a podcast while doing chores, lighting a candle while working, or calling a friend while running errands. So for me, sides is I am the queen of calling my mom when I'm in the car because literally she'll be like, this is how she'll answer. I'll call her and she'll go, there she is. And I'll respond. And as soon as she hears how I respond, she can hear when I'm in my car and she'll go, where are we headed? Every single time.

It's perfect.

So I love like Calling people when I'm in the car and it's like I don't want to listen to music. I don't want to like sit in silence. Sometimes I do, but that's like another like side dopamine hit. Just catching up for five ten minutes with people. I also love listening to audiobooks while I'm doing chores. If I know I'm going to be doing something for a long period of time, I love like going on Spotify and kind of working my way through an audiobook. And then another thing is listening to podcasts. While I'm getting ready in the morning. And I've also had like this little mini rule where I don't want to listen to podcasts all day, every day. Like it's too much information going into my brain. And so I listened to my fun podcasts in the morning when I'm getting ready in the shower, doing my hair, doing my makeup, making my breakfast, and then that's it. But it's like, those are all things I need to do, but listening to my fun girly pop podcasts, like it just makes the mundane so much more enjoyable and it feels like a treat. So what about you?

I love that. On my end lately, I've been obsessed with lighting a candle while working. Um, it's just something about fall time and winter is like, I want to have the smells rolling around the house, you know, the good smells. So that has really helped me romanticize my work and just like while I'm cranking out, you know, my stuff, I just light a candle. Um, on my daily walks, I also call a friend. So usually I'll call sister, or I'll voice message people to catch up on my personal texts. That has been very, very helpful because part of the ADHD-ness is responding to texts. For me, finding time for it just felt overwhelming and I would just keep on delaying it. So while I'm on my walk, that's when I catch up and I do that 2 to 3 times a day. And so I'll do a morning one and an afternoon one, and that feels really solid. And then another one that I really love to do is Basically, like, we have to dress ourselves every day. So like, how can I be able to create a fun outfit that makes me feel good and gives me that dopamine hit for the day of like, I feel confident in my outfit, even if it's like a workout set that I'm going to be home in, I feel cute and put together. That is very helpful for me as well.

I feel that I'm like a big plus one on I work from home, but I want to feel like I'm put together that if I had to Be on camera or even just like look in the mirror. I'm like, okay, girl, you look great.

Um, you are doing great. Yes.

Okay, do you want to talk through desserts?

Yes. So desserts are things that you love to do but are best enjoyed in moderation, so otherwise they could become unhealthy. They are not bad or wrong, but finding the appropriate balance to enjoy them is key. They're the sweet treat you can look forward to on occasion, like online shopping, scrolling social media, snacking, or binge So Alexis, what are your desserts?

Those are all my desserts. I don't even need to— I'm not gonna lie, like, movies and TV are such a, like, joy for me. I love watching things. I love getting into a good show. I love getting hooked. It's just the, the being able to actually stop watching after an episode. Like stop watching after 2 episodes. So we've been doing this with the new season of Outer Banks, um, is we've been like only watching an episode or 2 and we haven't finished it yet. But like previous us would like, we're gonna watch it in 2 days. And it's like, okay, then you kind of watch the whole thing and you're like, okay, it was a lot.

Mm-hmm.

Versus I feel like we get to have this like treat every week where we're watching an episode similar to how it would come up On TV, but yeah, mine would be movies and TV. Pinterest is a big one for me. Like I really enjoy Pinterest. I would say this is probably more of a appetizer as well. Like it could be an appetizer, could be a dessert. But TikTok, I mean, yeah, mine's TikTok. Like I'm on there. I'm on there a lot. So what about you?

Honestly, yeah, double down on that TikTok. I love it because I feel like I learn a lot and it genuinely does enhance my life. Like, right now I'm dealing with sciatica pain and it's given me so many workouts and like exercises for it. So to me it's efficient. I love learning on there and just being entertained. But desserts are also spa days, like actually going to the spa. Or my boyfriend and I love to do spa days at home whenever we don't want to go to an actual spa day and we've had a very stressful week. And so that is definitely on there. As well as movie nights. We love a binge-watching day. We will literally put it on the calendar. And he bought us a projector a really long time ago, like 2 years ago, right when we started dating. And so we'll have projector movie nights where we'll bring the spare bedroom outside or the spare bed.

I was like, I have questions.

The spare bed outside. He's a strong man.

Wow, a whole room.

But it's just like so fun. I think part of my desserts, like things that make me feel like a kid again, just scratch an itch and I need it so much. So we'll like set up the projector, have the, the bed out there. We'll order pizza or like make pizza at home, have snacks and just chill and take the day like one step at a time. So those are definitely my top ones for dessert.

I love that it's tied to your inner child, like things that make you feel like a kid again. The last one on the dopamine menu is specials. So specials aren't always available and they might be more expensive or time-consuming, so you only enjoy them every once in a while. They can include going on a trip, spa day, or seeing a comedy show. So for me, mine are going to the cold plunge and sauna lounge here in Houston. It's not something that I don't think we would do all the time. But just, it feels special when we do do it. So that would be one for me, getting a spa treatment, massage or facial. I've been really into hydrofacials lately and dermaplaning. So dermaplaning and then hydrofacial, getting my nails done. That just feels nice. That is something I do every month, but it is special. I'm not doing it every week. I could do it more.

Yeah.

Another special for me is any type of travel, literally ever. Like, anytime I am on a trip, dopamine levels are high. They are staying high. They don't come down. And then I go into dopamine deficit and feel sad, uh, when I get home because I've had the best time wherever I am. Um, what about you? Are there any specials that you want to mention?

Yes. So my special, I would feel like number one for me is travel.

Yeah.

Like being able to be somewhere different, go to different restaurants, try all the cuisine from there, explore. Like, there are so many dopamine hits within that one trip. So that's a big one. And then I did already mention like the spa one as well. But I think for me, any kind of wellness treatment that would fall in that category. So I've been getting more of like lasers for my, my, with my facials, getting my nails done as well. Any kind of like even like my bone broth, like having all these good wellness techniques and services done. I get— I do personal training as well. Going to a massage therapist at least once a month, like that's a huge one too. She like works out my knots. It's not one of those things where I leave relaxed, but I feel so much better 4 days afterwards.

Yeah.

And then I would say the last one is when I'm able to shop for a really great quality item that— and that I've been saving up for, and I'm like, I want that purse, I want those shoes, or I want that lighting setup for my house. I'm gonna save up for it and then buy it. It feels so freaking good. I just— a girl's shopping day, like, when you give yourself permission to just live that life for one day, it feels so, so good.

That was me this past weekend. I went to At Home and Hobby Lobby and revived some of our Christmas decor. We've had it for like 5, 6 years now.

Yeah.

And a lot of it was hand-me-downs from my, my family, which I like love, but some of it wasn't necessarily my style anymore. And it was so fun. I'm like, okay, I know exactly what I'm gonna do. I went to Pinterest, planned everything out, and then I was able to run it through this filter of like, one, it's on sale, this fits the vibe, this It's the aesthetic. It's classic. But yes, like the dopamine from that of it also feeling planned and knowing like this is how much I want to spend. This is where I'm headed. It felt so great. I loved it. Okay. That concludes the dopamine menu. We would love to hear what is on yours. Like if you're building your dopamine menu or you are testing out a dopamine detox, we would love to support you. Let us know in the DMs. You can chat with us literally anytime in the DMs at inbetween.pod. And we also have another Ask ANA advice column episode coming up soon, like next week. So if you can drop any advice you want, you can leave us a voicemail. You can drop us a, just a note for any kind of advice that you need from Astrid and I. We would love to be there, support you, be in your corner. Um, and that'll be linked up in the show notes. below. So if you want to connect with me personally, you can do that at Alexis Teichmiller.

And you can connect with me at Astra Johanna Photo. We love you guys and we hope you enjoyed this episode. We'll catch you next time.