Why Doing Things That Scare You Changes Your Brain

On Skype, I felt like I'd be awkward. I'd probably say something weird. I wasn't able to sell on camera. I couldn't connect with a person. My Internet would maybe be shoddy and then my face would freeze in a weird position. Hey, welcome back to another episode of the Decision Maker show. And today we are going to be talking all about how facing your fear actually shifts your entire identity. And I know that sounds bananas, but I have seen it repeated over and over again in my own life, in my business where I, I would avoid doing something for the longest time. And then the minute that I did it or the moment that that item was complete, I actually saw myself as someone completely different. I knew that fear was gone. I never again thought about that fear. And I was able to start problem solving from a completely different perspective with a new self belief, with a new built confidence that allowed me to move further, faster in my business because I kept facing those fears. I would always, I identify what the fear was that I had or what the belief was that I tend to like cycle on ideas or, you know, they keep coming up in different ways. Let me know if you've ever experienced that in your own life, in your own business where you just keep thinking about the same things and you can't quite seem to move past it. That happens to me all the time. And I started developing strategies based on what I had seen happen in my life when my business had exploded at different points, when I had, you know, crazy amounts of success come every. That always came on the back of me facing the fear of something that I had previously told myself I was not capable of doing for one reason or another. One of the really early examples of this was. Might be hard to believe now, but I used to be afraid of being on camera. Like absolutely refused, would not do it. Back in the day, when I was a service provider, I was building funnels for people. I was creating ads for people. I worked with clients on retainers, and I always would just get clients through chat, in Facebook groups, or in email. And I realized that this pattern kept happening where when somebody asked me if I was willing to hop on a Skype call with them to learn more about, you know, how we could work together, I was like, nope, not for me. Sorry, something came up. I'm busy. I can't do that call. I don't have time for that. And I realized it's because I had this fear of being on camera one on one with somebody in a, like a, what we now call like a Zoom Room. But on Skype, I felt like I'd be awkward. I'd probably say something weird. I wasn't able to sell on camera. I couldn't connect with a person. My Internet would maybe be shoddy, and then my face would freeze in a weird position. And I realized over and over as this kept cycling and I kept seeing myself repeat this story, that I was like, oh, my gosh, this is the thing that's keeping me stuck. This is ridiculous. Like, I could get so many more clients if I could just get my face on camera and not feel weird about it. So I came up with this strategy. And I know I've talked about this before in other videos because this was, like, such a pivotal moment in my business. I ended up doing 30 coffee chats with people that I had met in Facebook groups or around the interwebs, various places. And I just offered, like, hey, let's get on a call. No pitch. Just to connect, just to chat. I'm an extrovert. I work in my basement. Like, I want to meet people. And I met so many cool people through those calls. And even though I wanted to cancel every single one of the calls, I ended up holding them. And I ended up building great relationships. And I never hesitated. By the time I got to call number 25 and 26, I didn't even think twice about getting on camera. So I overcame that fear. And now when I think about it, I'm like, man, why was I ever afraid of camera? Like, I love people. Why would I not want another opportunity to connect with people? Why did I make it such a big thing in my brain of what it meant or what stories I had about myself being awkward or weird or, you know, like, unable to connect with people over video? Like, I had all of these stories, and to be honest with you, I don't even know where those stories came from. Maybe at one point I had an awkward phone call with somebody, and then I started hating the phone, which I guess is also still true. But, you know, you realize that we have these subconscious patterns in our lives, and when you do face that fear, when you take the. You know, you rip the band aid off and you do the thing, we completely reprogram our brains through neuroplasticity, and then we see ourselves in a brand new light. Another example of doing this. A couple years ago, actually, no. Last year, I was asked to speak for Clickfunnels at one of their Mastermind events that was held in Mexico. They asked me to speak on their stage for all of their Two CCX coaching students. And I said yes immediately because I had already had this program in my brain of, like, I will not say no to things that scare me anymore. I had a whole mantra behind how I did everything in my life in my business was do it scared. So I've committed to saying yes and then figuring it out later. And I think that's, you know, one of the biggest foundations for the explosive growth that my business has had is being willing to figure it out and know that every problem is solvable. I can learn the strategies. I can become the version of myself that I need to be to be able to perform in the way that I have to perform to do the thing right. So they asked me to speak, and I said yes. Immediately emailed them back, heck, yeah, I will be there. I can't wait. So excited. And then I was like, crap, I don't know how to speak on stage. I have never spoken on stage before prior to this. Because when my business really started getting to the point where people cared about what I was doing and people were asking me to speak, the whole world shut down. And in person, events stopped happening. So I did a lot of virtual events. Very comfortable in experiences like this. I had done a lot of my own webinars with thousands of people in attendance, but being on stage in front of real humans that are looking back at you felt super foreign to me. So I ended up hiring a coach. Of course, as I always talk about, like, when you discover the goal, find the coach, find the mentor who can get you there. I found a coach who helped me write the speech, helped me show up, help me match my energy for the way that I naturally show up versus, like, how I feel like I have to show up. Like, I was pulled to trying to sound very smart and intelligent and impress people where I am. I'm actually more naturally kind of a goofball charming. And I learned how to present like that. That was her assessment of me. My humility wants to tell you that her assessment is that I'm charming. It feels weird to call myself that. But anyway, so we came up with a speech. We wrote it. I practiced and I practiced and I practiced over and over again. I was in my hotel room the night before, going through my slides. My family was trying to sleep, and I'm, like, pacing around the room, practicing my presentation. And I nailed it. I knew exactly what to say. I felt so comfortable on stage. I got up there and I was like, heck, yes. I got this because I did the work. I showed up, I Practiced. I was prepared. Previously, I winged. I always wing things in my business was the belief that I had. I'm gonna wing this and I'm gonna get on stage, I'm gonna bomb, it's gonna be super awkward and clickfunnels is never gonna ask me to do anything again. That was my belief. So. So I knew I had to reprogram that thought that I am someone who wings things. I'm not someone who has time to prepare for things. And I realized that was the belief that was really causing me the most fear of this whole event is that I was not going to give myself enough time to prepare and that I was going to get there and I was, you know, going to be unprepared. But sometimes you realize these fears are self fulfilling prophecies. And all I had to do to have a different story, to have a different end result, was prepare. If my belief is that I'm going to be unprepared when I get on stage, all I have to do is make sure I have space in my calendar to do the thing. I hire the coach who's going to hold me accountable and make sure that it happens. And then it was done. So we did all this work, did all the prep. I got on stage, did my 20 minute presentation, I got to actually see humans, which for me was like the coolest thing ever. Got to see people smiling and taking pictures of my slides and like nodding when I said things and laughing when I made an awkward joke. And it was so fun. And when I got off the stage, I don't know what happened, you guys, but I walked off that stage and I was an entirely different human being when I walked off that stage versus who I was. When I walked on the stage, I saw myself in a brand new light. I didn't even think I was awkward anymore, right? Like I saw myself how my coach described me. I saw myself as a charming presenter. I saw myself as a smart woman, someone who had a lot to give to the world. And I stepped off that stage and maybe floated off the stage because I was so, so excited. And all the endorphins that come from that type of experience and I, you know, they took the mic off of me and I walked back to the room and my family was there watching. My kids were in the back the whole time, which was so cool. And then we went out into the hallway and lines of people came and they were asking me questions and they were telling me how much that presentation changed their life. And I, for the first time in My entire business career and maybe my entire life, I got a glimpse of how other people see me. And if you're a high achiever, I'm an enneagram 3. I am an ENFP. I am driven to the max, wanting to go further, faster. I am far better at criticizing myself than celebrating myself. And to see people standing in line to talk to me, I was like, oh my gosh. Like, I am different than I thought I was. I am not the same person that I was this morning. Because look at this line of people. Look at how much fun I had on stage. I thought I couldn't do it and I freaking rocked it. So to feel that way, it was an entirely. It was a huge moment. And I know that happens because I have coached so many people through different decisions that they're making in their businesses to finally face their fear, to launch the group program they've always wanted to become, the coach that they want to become, to sell products, to shut down programs. They hate all of these things that fear is telling us that we can't do. Helping people step into that fear and then looking on the path behind them and being like, what just happened? Like, my. I am completely different because I did the thing. And that will continue to cycle for us. Like, I'm never going to be done growing. I'm never going to be done learning. I'm never going to be done experimenting and trying new things and breaking down new beliefs and shifting into new identities. But I think it's making that commitment to yourself, to your growth, to your ideas, to know that you're always going to be a different version of yourself. And there's no shame in growth. There's no shame in trying new things. There's no shame in shutting down programs or products or offers or even clients that aren't serving you anymore because you've become a different person. That's the whole point, right? That's what we're here for. That's what this journey is all about. And in the meantime, if you haven't subscribed to our channel, if you haven't subscribed to the podcast, make sure that you do so that you do not miss any updates. And if you would like a little extra help or a little extra coaching in how to get to your next level, go to alibierick.com book and book a call with a member of my team so that we can tell you what types of programs we have available to help you hit your next level and really become the decision maker of your life. And so that you know that you're in control of what's going to come next for you. I hope you're having a great day, and I will talk to you all soon. Thanks.