Coach Andrey V. Karpov argues you don't owe anyone an explanation for stepping back from obligations to prioritize mental health. He uses a car-brake analogy to explain why gradual deceleration matters before re-accelerating, and stresses honest communication with employers and loved ones about your mental state rather than feigning physical illness.
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How's it going, guys? This is your coach Andrey V. Karpov. Uh, today's Mentor Moment is about your internal peace, your happiness, and whether you owe anyone an explanation in reference to that. Well, first off, no, you don't. You don't owe anyone an explanation on why sometimes you have to pause life, why you have to down, why you have to run away, and why you have to really focus on yourself. It's, if you will, self-healing. You can call it self-love, self-appreciation. Some people just call it selfishness or narcissism, and those are the ones that do not understand anything about energy currents and how they work. But realistically, you need to listen to your inner body. This is something that's been on my mind lately because, you know, I have been dealing with so many different things that I don't really talk about in my videos as much. But obviously we all have a baggage of things we deal with, right? Different issues. And sometimes you come to a point where you just need to take a few days off, completely distress And yeah, you can bring your laptop, you can take your iPad, whatever, but the truth is you need to really find time for your inner peace. And it's not just to calm yourself down, but also to think about empirical questions, think about important strategic decisions in your life that can affect you. They can affect you positively, they can affect you negatively. Again, it's very hard to tell how all of that will play out in the end. But what is known is that if you don't take a decision, decision will be taken for you by the universe. And when universe does that to you, if you can't make up your mind and you don't have enough time to decompress to be able to function normally using this, um, not just this, right, um, that decision may be very hard one. It's kind of like pushing on the brakes, really like this, right? So what I just did with my car. And the reason where I did this was just to show you. I mean, I was in a safe situation with cars far away from me. But when this happens, we get alarmed and we get very traumatized. And that creates even more neuroticism in our lives. So in order for that not to happen, in order for the brakes not to hit very hard, You have to slowly come to a full stop and then slowly but surely accelerate to a new beginning. It's important to do this without thinking about what others think about you, because at times in our life, whether this happens once in 7 years, like with me, I think 6, 7 years. So overall, or whether it happens once every year, or whether it happens, you know, um, sooner for some of you, I don't know. But people live in different state of mind, different state of life, or life condition, as Buddhism teaches us, which I'm into a bit from a philosophical standpoint. You have to be honest with yourself, and you also have to be honest with your loved ones and with people that you care about and that care about you. Just tell them, listen, I need to do a hard stop. I cannot be here this week. I cannot be in this meeting today. I cannot take this day and just do what I usually do. Now you're gonna say there are implications, right? What if you have to go to work? Um, I'm not suggesting anything, but maybe sometimes— like right now it's Sunday— but sometimes you have to just call sick, call out, right? Um, it's not about whether you're lying or not. The question is, are you lying to yourself? Because if you lie to your employer and tell them that you're sick but in reality you're not physically sick, are you really lying to them given that you're not in your best state and performance to function? So the question goes, if you want to go to work but you're not mentally there, you're not attached, what good are you? They're paying you money for your inability to perform because you really are unable to take the time off to get yourself together. And even if you have to do that at your own expense— like, I work for myself, right? So I bill the hours based on what I actually work and what meetings I attend and what kind of research I do and what kind of, uh, you know, client interactions I have and so forth. Sometimes it's not all about the money. Sometimes it's about you, you know? Because if you don't have yourself, if you're not healthy enough, if you're not present enough, then you won't be able to do anything for anyone, including yourself. So it's very important to realize that and be able to really, really be truly you, because at the end of the day, nobody gives a damn about you. The only person that does is you, and you should. So, um, You know, for those of you that are married, that are in relationship, I would say from the very beginning, try to understand your zodiac sign, try to understand your Human Design type, astrology sign, and so forth. And, um, you know, understand the other person and talk to them openly. Say, this is what works for me, what doesn't work for me. Don't talk about what you want from them, talk about you. Just say, listen, I'm this kind of a person. I may be a little bit weird, 'But sometimes I need this, or I need that. Not from you, from myself. That's my body, my mind, my spirit. Are you okay with that?' 'Yeah, yeah, sure, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.' But if you see that person is not, then it may be a reason for you to reconsider being with that person, or it may be a reason for you to really have a, you know, straightforward conversation about, 'Hey, Listen, we gotta make this work somehow, and I'm willing to compromise about some of the things that you do that I may not understand. But as long as they have a good intent— remember that apple thing I told you about long ago? As long as it has a good intent, it's totally fine. That's really what it is all about, guys. So, um, yeah, again, urge you to take care of yourself. Practice self-love, self-care. Uh, this is not only important from the mental perspective, this is important from the standpoint of strategic thinking. Long-term planning, and ultimately the right decision, right for you. There is no such thing as right for someone, or productive, not productive. Like, I don't know, if you need to go to the beach during the week and you can afford to do that somehow— I don't mean financially, but I mean just like you're able to pull it off because you work for yourself or for someone, and plus you have the financial capacity then really, um, you did the right thing. There's no such thing, "Oh, it was counterproductive. Now you owe someone your time, the grind, and all of that." You are still grinding. Just because you're not touching anything with your hands, meaning the computer keyboard, or you're not writing anything, or whatever, you're not picking up the phone, you may still be working because your head is working and you're trying to come up with the right decision regarding important empirical questions. That may affect your life and the lives of other people that have been entrusted to you. So it's really about trying to find that parity in terms of what is really the best solution. And there's no way to find out that solution until you take an action and you stick with your decision and most importantly, stick with the consequences. That's in reference to everything, whether you're distressing, whether you're trying to find an answer, whether you're actually in a board meeting, um, or you are leading a department, or you're leading your company like me. So there's just— there's, there's no such thing as doing something wrong. You do something and you look at it from an agile perspective, truly agile mindset perspective, where you understand, okay, I could be doing this better, I could be doing this differently. And as long as you understand that and you understand the why, the how, and the what behind it, you're fine. Um, that's all there is to it. Don't overthink it, don't overcomplicate it, and sometimes even turn off your head. Just feel it. Feel that this is your decision. Feel that whatever you're doing is— you're doing it right. The people, the events, the situations, they will all come back to you if they were meant to be. Don't think about others, think about yourself, but have good intent behind whatever you do. I hope this video was helpful, guys. If your first time on my channel, please hit subscribe, like, reshare, comment. Always happy to hear feedback from you. Uh, much love, and may the true Agile Force be with you always. You've got this. I believe in you.
