How to Make Him Obsessed

Welcome to the April Mason Vault, where videos were originally recorded between 2007 and 2025. Some episodes were recorded during private trainings, courses, and community events. The conversations' name, cultural references, and production quality reflect the time in which they were recorded. However, the principles remain timeless. I hope I found you all doing wonderful on today. I want to give you a little understanding of the power of a woman and why Women don't use their power because they're uncomfortable with themselves. Okay? So when you understand that a heterosexual man follows women, you understand you have the power to lead him. Now, women are always saying, I want a man to lead. I want a man to lead. Yes, we want men to lead, but in this particular area, We are to lead, okay? We are to lead in this particular area because there's one of my favorite quotes by Helen Rowland. It says, the woman who appeals to a man's vanity will stimulate him. He'd get all excited about that. A woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him. When I read that quote several years back, I thought that was one of the most powerful things And one of my biggest aha moments when it came to men. That's the reason why I tell you all to not be so available. So understanding that the woman that appeals to his imagination would suggest that one would say, how do you appeal to a man's imagination, especially with your words? That's what we're going to talk about tonight, appealing to him and leading him to love with your words. So let's jump right in. When you talk about leading a man to love through his mind, simply put, you are planting the seeds. So I have a list here of the things that are probably not going to go exactly in order, but I'll do my best to go in my order because it's a reason for my little order, but I started already out of order. So We'll start there, but planting the seeds. You are in control of a man's mind. The problem is too many women are waiting for the man to go first. Show me your feelings first. Show me what your intentions are first. Let me help you with something. 9 times out of 10, men don't know their intentions in the first place because men are not out here looking for love the way we do. See, See, a man could be on his day-to-day doing his business, being successful, and not looking for love, and somebody just happens across his path and boom, there you have it. He's in love. He's in a relationship. He's now married. So women get upset when men need to— men need to date with intention. Do you care about his words or do you care about his actions, his efforts, and his patterns? Because most men, they're not even out here dating just to be in a relationship. They just out here doing something. Men know that they need women. You will never hear a man say, "I don't need no woman." You will never hear a man say that. So men are out for companionship. They're dating people for companionship. They're dating for intimacy. They're dating for conversation. So you got to understand that men in that regard are just like us. How they go about it is different. So when I say. Women are too caught up in not wanting to show vulnerability and show interest. Now, there's a way that a woman shows interest, and of course I've done master classes on that, you can go watch them, without coming across desperate, thirsty, or any of the other terms that they use nowadays, right? So when you understand that part, that's half the battle— understanding That I plant the seeds in his mind of how I want him to view me. I do that, not him, and I'm not leaving it up to chance. I plant the seeds for what it is that I want you to believe and think about me. Okay, so one of the things you can do to do that is, number one, find out what he's missing in his life. Women a lot of times are so gung-ho on what they can get versus what they can give. See, one of the lessons that I learned about men is if you are a woman that have no problem giving— and I'm not necessarily talking about sex, I'm talking about that level of vulnerability, that level of openness and intimacy— now when I say intimacy, I'm not talking about sex— it allows him to open up more and more to you. But women want to do it the other way around. No, he need to tell me. No, he need to tell me. Nope, he need to tell me. Women do not study their subjects. One of the things my ex will say is, he said, April, you know me better than my wife that I was married to for 20 years. And that's because I take the time to study the man that I'm with. When I find out what he's missing, and I've studied him, because I'm not coming from the perspective of what I can get, because I know if If I give you what you need, you're going to give me everything. Whereas women wait for a man to give them everything before they give him what he needs. I don't know where we got that from, but it doesn't work because men are in the masculine for the majority of time, especially extremely masculine men. They're in the masculine all the time. So you standing off saying what you're not going to do, him standing up and saying what he's not going to do, it's like he's dealing with another man. Now, of course, I'm not saying you go in and just bare all and— no, I'm not saying that. There's levels to this. You just have to understand the principles no matter what level you're on. So finding out what he's missing then is very important, and studying your subject. Listen to him talk. Listen to the things he says about past relationships. Listen to what his fears are. You can hear his fears, what I'm saying. My biggest fear is example. We were out and it came up a couple times. Trust came up and abandonment came up, and it reminded me of our first official date when he said, April, if I do something wrong, tell me. Don't just walk away. I may be able to change it. What I heard was You've been abandoned before. Somebody just walked away without giving you the opportunity to fix the situation. So I heard that when he said the other night about trust, trust, trust, trust—that was big. I picked up on what he was missing. The next one is. Be a great listener. Women are so guarded when they get into relationships or get into dating. They're so guarded and they don't want to put out anything because I know, once again, I said I need you to do first. Now there are certain things that he should do, but when it comes to emotional stuff, vulnerability stuff, just saying, I'm just a girl, I got feelings and I'm emotional, I'm just a girl, I'm not fixing to sit here and act like I don't cry. I'm not fixing to sit here and act like I'm not sensitive. I'm not fixing to do that. The more open that you are, the more open they'll be with you. Okay? So you must be be open to showing yourself. Next one is find out what his love language is. When you find out what a person's love language is and they don't know you found out what their love language is. Boy, oh boy, get ready to be swooped up. But once again, as a woman, you have to be willing to look from the standpoint of what you can give versus what you can get. Because once you learn these few, even these few things that I just shared with you, he's going to give you everything. It's guaranteed because now you're different from every other woman trying to take from him. Yeah, he might look at you like, something— you ain't trying to get in my pockets, you ain't trying to do this to me, you're not trying— you— it's different. Once again, so now you got him doing what? Just with those few things that I gave you, you got him doing what? Thinking about you because you're different. Next one is take general interest in His life and support his interests. It could mean you guys have a conversation about one day he wants to learn to fly planes. You could just at a time that you guys are not talking about that, bring it up. Because what is that doing? It says what? What I tell you earlier. I'm listening to you. So you guys could be sitting there at dinner having a conversation about grapes and pineapples, and then as you take a sip of your drink or whatnot and you say, hey, I thought about— what do you think about this particular plane? Because I know you said you wanted to learn how to be a pilot. What do you think about this plane? Oh, wait a minute, somebody's listening to me. She heard me. So you bring up something that he said that is different, that most people wouldn't pay attention to. You have to understand and get out of your feelings and get out of you. I want to say feelings, get out of your ego. Once again, I'm gonna keep reiterating this. The more you worry about what you can get, the less you will get. Mm-hmm. Let me say that again. The more you worried about what you're going to get, the less you get. So women have to take the initiative in this department because I'm sprinkling your brain with what I want you to know. So what I've given you so far, if you've done this, if you do what I suggest, you would have sprinkled on his brain You would have did something that is in tune with what he's missing. So now he's thinking about you because now you just satisfied a need. You learned his love language, so you're giving him bits and pieces, especially if it's in early stages, bits and pieces of your love, of what his love language is. And especially if his love language is something that comes natural to you, you'll just be giving it. Taking general interest in what he— what his life and his interest in the things that he wants to do. Okay. Being more open and looking what you can give versus what you can get. Studying your subject. All you really got to do is pick a man and say, this is the man that I want. Find his issues, but not in a bad way, but his spots, his soft spots. And mash the hell out of those buttons. Now, if it's in beginning stages, you don't just beep beep brrrp. You kind of mash here, mash there, and then from there, what you're doing is going to cause him to give you more and more of him. So then you're mirroring him. The more he starts to give you, because now you're luring him in because you're paying attention to him and not yourself. How do you find out the love life without asking? By paying attention. By paying attention. Example, I knew what love language was by how he answered me. Here's a great example. My neighbor was like, oh, so you had company? That was a sexy car he had. And I told him, he said, that's funny. Then he says, is my car sexy? All I heard was, you need to hear me say what your car is. That— but that was recent. But I've known his love language was words Because when we were dating last year, it was, if I said something to him, he would say, oh, perfect example. Perfect example. We had recently, we was maybe a month or two in and he said, what are you doing? I said, whatever you tell me we doing. He said, really? I could tell he liked to hear that. And he said, I guess you're going to the grocery store with me. I said, well, as long as I'm with you, it doesn't matter. And then he was like, okay, all right. He liked to hear that. So I knew words, but you have to be a woman that's in tune with a higher level of yourself to be able to tune into stuff like that. You can't be a basic thinking woman when it comes to snagging the man that you want. You can't wonder, I wonder what his love language is. He's probably showing you this all the time. So you have to pay attention Instead of looking to see what you can get. All right, here it is. The text was— and I wrote my neighbor, I said, Dave, I see you had company the other night. That car was sexy. And then I wrote me, the car has nothing on this sexy-ass man driving the car. Dave, I can't speak on all of that. LOL. He replies with, now that's funny. Next line. Is my car sexy? Yes, comma, but dot dot dot, not as sexy, strong, intelligent, handsome, smart, wonderful, amazing, kind, loyal. And then I said something else. As, as the man you are, you're my knight, the king of everything. He says you are something else, but I know it penetrated. And my last response was, when it comes to you, yes, I am. There you have it. So I understand that somebody says, how do you find a soft spot? By going back up to number 2, listening. Number 2 is listening. You gotta listen. You have to be a woman that's intuitive. You have to be a woman that, that listens. You cannot be a basic woman to pull off what I'm giving you. Because basic women are always looking for what they can get versus looking what they can give. So what they not realizing, what they give will get them everything. So all you got to really do is listen and pay attention, not just listening so you can wait for him to stop talking so you can start talking. Next one is play with your words. Think Mae West. I'll say things or leave something to the imagination intentionally. So for instance, the lingerie picture that I screenshotted you that I text, hey honey, I hope you're having a wonderful day. What do you think about this one? His response was, I love it. Glad you like it. Maybe I'll wear it for you one day. Please do. Okay. Anything for you, honey. Right? So I gave something. I planted the seed. Now you at work thinking about me in lingerie and the fact that I said I may wear it for you one day. So that means you're going to do what you need to do to see me in that. Okay. You gotta think from a higher place. You cannot be basic. I can't stand basic thinking women because basic thinking women will always mess up everything thinking about themselves, not looking at their target. Huh, if that's my target, what do I need to do to make sure I hit the bullseye? I can't make it about me, not obviously. By me paying attention to you, planting the seeds inside of your imagination of how I want you to see me, I am actually now going to get what I want without having to tell you what it is that I want, because I'm feeding your ego. And the woman that feeds the ego and not afraid to feed the ego gets everything. You make it about him, although it's 1,000% about you. Nobody wants to leave someone that strokes their ego, that's pushing the buttons when it comes to their love language, that's listening to them, that's playing with their words. Listen, watch another Mae West. Watch all Mae West movies. Woman that's playing with their words. Someone that— matter of fact, if you need to listen to some Tank, Tank is wonderful at metaphors. What he says could mean one thing or another. Matter of fact, perfect song to listen to is Emergency. Learn how to play with your words and be okay with playing with your words and being flirty. Okay? Be mysterious. Make him wonder what you're doing.