Stop! What They Aren't Telling You About Leaving Men Alone

either going to free you or it's going to offend you. Hear me out. I've been on my social media, you know, when I'm scrolling and things, and I keep seeing a recurring theme from women that says leave men alone, right? And as I'm looking, it's a lot of the midlife women. I am a 50-year-old retired dating coach and matchmaker of almost pretty— over 15 years, actually been doing over 15 years. And I wanted to address this whole conversation that I've been seeing from older women telling the younger women to leave men alone. And I just find it to be because of their mistakes, this is what they're selling. And I see younger women telling older women— excuse me, younger women telling younger women, if you are running a business, if you are building your career, if you are a woman about her business, leave men alone. And this is what I say to that. We have a lot of content that teaches women how to deal with a man if he's ugly, if he is a man that, you know, they're not attracted to in any sort of way, if he's older, simply because he can pay bills, right? This is what I'll say to you for that. This is for the lover girls. If you're not a lover girl and if you're just a financial girl, this is what I'm getting ready to say is not for you. But if you are a lover girl and you're finding it hard to take that advice and utilize it because in your heart you know you are a lover girl, in your heart you know you want to— the feeling of being in love— if you know you cannot shut off your desire for a man. Here is the key: instead of not dealing with a man, what you do is you pick a man that is a benefit to you. Let me say that again. Instead of not dealing with men, you pick a man that is a benefit to you. Anyone that you hear on the internet telling you to just leave men alone, and you're not the type of woman that actually wants to do that. They're only telling you that men are a hindrance to you and your growth because they're not choosing men that are a benefit to them and where they're going and in alignment to help make their life easier. Okay, if you do not want to leave men alone, if you are a lover girl— this message is for the lover girls— choose a man that is a benefit to your life that makes your life easier. Because men choose women based on the needs that they have. I love— and I've said this multiple times— I love the way men choose women. Men choose women based on what they need in their life. If they need a place to stay, they're going to find a woman that's easy prey, and they're gonna go after her, and they gonna get her. They gonna slang the best D that they ever have slang so they have a place to stay. If he's looking for someone that'll be a good mother, he's going to choose someone for that. If he's looking for someone that can help him elevate what he's doing, amplify what he's doing, he's going to choose an Amplify Woman. If he wants a woman that can help him build what he's doing, he's going to build— pick a Builder Woman. If he's looking for a woman that can maintain what he has, he's going to, uh, choose a woman that can maintain— a woman. If he's looking for a Trophy Wife, he's going to pick that. So the problem is not you dealing with men. The problem is women have never been taught to choose a man based on the benefits that he brings to her life because she don't know what those are. A woman typically doesn't know the benefits that a man brings to her life because she's only operating from an emotional place. When I look in the comments you know, and women are talking about a man that they might have met, it's always, is he fine? Is he fine? Is he fine? If you line up 20 men, majority of them will not be handsome and fine. They will be attractive because they made themselves attractive. But if you look at most men, most men are not fine or just brought into this world handsome. I believe the Creator made us the beauty, honey. That's what I believe. So A lot of women, they're, they're trying to be gold diggers or just deal with a man just for his money, knowing that they lover girls— lover girls don't function like that. Lover girls don't move like that. Lover girls say, you know what, that content and type of information is for the other girls who can shut off their emotions, who are not caught up in the romance of everything, and they can just shut it all down and say, you know what, he old as hell, all I gotta do is look pretty and he gonna pay my bills. That's a different type of woman. I ain't talking about her. I'm talking about the woman who is the woman who loves love, the woman who actually loves being supported, the woman who actually loves, uh, feeling respected and adored I'm talking about her and the woman that's not just choosing a man simply because he can do those things and she has no, uh, emotional connection or attraction toward him. Okay, so I wanted to share that because I've been seeing that a lot lately, and I'm hearing it more and more from younger women because they're hearing it from older women, and older women have not taught younger women Girl, me— a man go man, but you choose one that is going to be a benefit of— to you. You choose one that's going to make your life lighter because I heard someone say men are draining, they're vampires, you know, they will suck the life out of you. Yeah, you choose one that is a benefit to you so it won't be all of that extras because women have a hard time, or they don't even think about the fact that some man is going to have to deal with your unhealed self, period. So you are— there's so many women talking about, I want a healed man. You're not healed. None of us are. And here's the fake— fake— the thing. Most people that think they're healed, and they're healed in private, and they've read all the books, they've gone to, to all of the therapy, they're not. They don't know that they're healed until they actually engage in communication with the opposite sex. You won't know how healed you are until all of that knowledge that you learn, you start to apply it. Meaning you have to engage, you have to go out, you have to literally, uh, date somebody to see if all of this therapy that you doing is actually working. You won't know. That's why I don't listen to these people, you know, on these podcasts that are not dating, actively dating. If you're not actively dating or actively engaging with, uh, if you're a man not engaging with women or women not engaging with men, how will you know if you've healed? You don't. You guys, I'm just isolation, I'm in isolation. No, you're just not doing anything. You're not healing. And you won't know until you're triggered, until you realize, oh, in the past that may have bothered me in a whole completely different way. It didn't get me this time. Boop! I can check that off my little list and see that I have actually grown. I've actually grown. So when you choose a person that's a benefit to you, I I'm not telling you to just choose them strictly off the benefit. There, you have to like this person. And here's a prime example of what I mean when I say choose a man that is a benefit to you. And I've shared this story before. So I got married in my 20s, shouldn't have been married, got divorced in my 30s. And then after my divorce, about 4 years later, I got into a relationship, and I think we were together for a little while. And when he met me, everything had tanked. I'm like, oh my God, my businesses, everything. I was going through so much at the time after my divorce, being a single mom, raising boys. It was just crazy, right? So I wasn't really focused. Well, a man who is about his business and has a vision, he can spot an asset woman. He can spot a woman that can amplify what he has. So long story short, we started that. He said, I just want to take you out on one date. He flew to Atlanta to take me out on one day, and he was the type that he gonna make it, he gonna make make it the best date, the most memorable date that you've ever had. He was a guy that enjoyed making memories, right? So he flew to Atlanta, took me on a date, and next thing you know, uh, a couple months later, he was like, okay, April, I really like you, we should do this, that, and the third. Well, my kids were going with their dad for the summer, and so I said, you know what, I took him up on his offer. I relocated for the summer, and I spent the summer because everything— all hell was breaking loose. So I was like, okay, cool, he— all right, I can do this. What ended up happening, um, long story short, I called off the wedding because I realized, you know, we're good as friends but not necessarily in a marriage. But what happens with women a lot of the times is if it doesn't end in marriage, you don't think you've gained anything. Let me tell you something, because of that man, he set the tone for what my standard for a man should be. Okay, no one didn't know if in marriage, but once again, I gained so much. He was of value to me. He gained so much because I was of value to him. This is what I mean by choosing someone that is of value and a benefit to your life, and it's mutual. What he needed from me was my feminine creativity. I published his books. I did book signings, had him on billboards, TV, all on some of the television shows. And I loved making sure he was where he needed to be because it took pressure off of me from having to do so much. In exchange for me making him hot at what he does, I got my condo, the cars, weekly allowance, all of the things. And here's the thing, y'all, this is— this is— this is— this I want you to listen to. I really want you to listen to this. He even got more out of the deal than I did, and I didn't know that at the time. See, when you ain't used to nothing and somebody can see your value, they're going to utilize your value that you don't know and give you the bare minimum because, oh, that's what you— that's all you require. He and I talked maybe earlier this year. He said— he talked about the girl that he's dealing with now, what the one he was dealing with, because I was trying to get him to marry her. I'm like, I think she's good for you because we still communicate, especially when he's getting ready to, you know, date somebody, or anytime he's ready to make a business deal, because he still sees that value that April knows how to make money moves. That was one of the benefits that he got from me. He was getting ready to buy some property. I said, don't buy that one, buy that one. Take the money from that one, invest it here. This could be a multi-use. This, if you do this, you can only use it for one thing. So even to this day, he will still call. But when he calls, I know he's trying to pick my brain. So I'll say, you know, do that come with a purse? What would that come with? Because I'm aware of the value, and it's a running joke that we have. But because of him, I learned my value. He said— he shared with me earlier this year, he said, you know what, you— he said, the girl I was just with, she got all kind of red bottoms and Saint Laurent and all kind of, uh, Fendi and all that. He said, you are happy with Jessica Simpson's. And I love— he's—

I love that about you.

You know, you could go into Neiman Marcus or Ross and make it look expensive. Because when I first got— got— when he first relocated me, I had to go to a funeral. He gave— when I moved, he gave me his credit card, his debit card, key to the house, and his PIN number, right? And I had to go to a funeral. He said, here, go buy you something. In my mind, because I wasn't used to nothing, I went to Ross to go get me an outfit, and I thought I was doing something. So when he came home from work, he was like, what you get? I said, oh honey, for $160, I got like 4 dresses. You got to understand, this is a man of means dealing with a woman that ain't used to nothing, and it was just struggling. So for him, it was like, wow, she can make Neiman Marcus look good, and Ross— she can go get 3 dresses, 4 dresses from Ross. Or 4 or 5 dresses from Ross for say $160 and some shoes. He understood the value because he was extracting everything that I was giving. So he made a whole lot of money because I was in his life. It was a fair exchange. Hello, somebody. Even at my lowest, I picked a man that was a benefit to me. He relocated, got the condo, furnished the whole thing. And everything that he paid and he got is— is— has— doesn't even compare to what I gave. Because as of today, 2025, he's still selling them books. He still has the mindset that I— that I— that of the seeds that I dropped in him. I still have the— that moment where we were in Nordstrom's when we first got together, and I— I was looking at some shoes, and he's like, well, babe, what's— what's the problem? What's taking you so long? I said, well, I'm trying to decide which ones I want. He's like, get both of them, you can have whatever you want. I'm still benefiting from the value that he imparted in me, that I can have whatever I want in 2025 as a 50-year-old woman. Hello, somebody. So just because something may not work out and it may not end up in a marriage, every person you decide to get into a relationship with— fellas, this is for you too. Should be a benefit to you. It doesn't mean that you don't like them. It doesn't mean you're not attracted to them. But you got to understand, it takes more than like and attraction. There should be a benefit. I would never choose a man that is not a benefit to me. So with this man, I was— I was a— I hit a lick. I'll say like that. He hit a lick with me. Because I didn't know that I should have asked for more. And here's the thing, you know when they tell you— when somebody asks you, like, for— as for me as a speaker, what does it— you know, what— how much does it cost for us to book you to speak? I always say, what's your budget? Because your budget may be bigger than what I say. So with him, His budget was a whole lot bigger than what I was requesting. His ex-wife— he was married for 20 years— his ex-wife had enough clothes where she didn't have to wear the same thing in a whole year or two. She could alternate her outfits, never rotating for a year or two. That's where this level of man was. So here I come, just happy that somebody put a roof over my head, happy that me and my kids got this, happy that You know, I don't have to be struggling no more. Like, I was happy with the bare minimum, happy with Jessica Simpson, happy with— oh my God, he bought me my first piece of jewelry, which was some Tiffany's. I was happy about all of those things. This man showed me what was possible for me in exchange for everything that I bring to the table. That's why I say he's never asked— no man has ever asked me what I bring to the table. Ladies, it's so important that y'all get out of your head and stop listening to this foolishness on the internet and simply choose a man that's a benefit to you and that you actually like. Bingo. Am I making sense? I hope I'm making sense. Like I said, I'm either going to offend you or I am going to free you. And a lot of women are walking around here hurt, especially women in my age range are walking around here hurt, spewing this leave men alone, leave men alone to younger women who desire to be in a relationship. So at least if you're going to be in one, Auntie gonna tell you, pick one that is a benefit to you, because he's choosing you based on the benefit you are, and you should be a benefit to the man that you're with. His life should elevate with you in it, just like yours should elevate when he's in it. The problem is women give so much and get nothing but emotions because of the brokenness. Let me say that again: because of the brokenness. Because women are so broken and haven't had anybody to treat them well They are content with words. They are content with a few happy moments. They are— they, they sit back and they reminisce about the two good times that they had. We had a good date. Oh my God. I'm still thinking about that day. Oh my God, he put it down in the bedroom. Oh my God. None of this is a benefit to your life. When you— when they say the aunties don't teach, it's not that the aunties don't teach. Aunties like me teach. Y'all gotta listen. I believe that you should choose a person that is a benefit to the vision, to your life. There's something that you should get out of it. And it doesn't mean you're getting out of it, you're getting something out of it because you're choosing to diminish yourself to deal with somebody you're not attracted to and to deal with somebody that, um, is old, about to die, just because, well, at least I get my bills paid. You can get your bills paid by choosing somebody that is a benefit to you, just like you are a benefit to them. So all of this other stuff, you, you can't— don't listen to bitter midlife women. Do not. Women that are 50 plus like me, or 40 plus, or whatever, if they are older than you, if they are in an auntie— I think, I think I'm past auntie. I think I'm in the— I think I'm in the, the cougar. No, I'm past the cougar. I think I'm in a Thundercats.

Stage.

Sabertooth. I'm in the Sabertooth stage, honey. If a Sabertooth is talking that BS, that lets you know that she never in her life chose a man that's a benefit to her, okay? She has never chose someone that made her life better, and she is not mature enough to say, even though this relationship did not end in a marriage, or maybe it didn't even end the way they wanted it to end, I still benefited from this because I sure as hell benefited from that relationship. That man looked me in the face when we broke up and said, if we don't make it, you'll never go below me. And he didn't lie. He did not lie. He did not lie. The bar was set. The bar was set. And even with the bar being set within me, he knew that, oh, look at her, she's so cute. She don't, she don't even know that I'll give her more because she don't require that. So I'ma be cool. She happy with the bare minimum. She happy with her Jessica Simpsons, you know, you know. She happy with her bees. Was it BGBGs? BCBGs? She's happy with that. I'm gonna make— I'm gonna keep taking care of her because what I am extracting from her, that femininity, spirituality, sensuality, and wisdom that I am extracting from this woman is worth it. But I ain't that stupid, y'all. I wasn't that stupid, because even to this day, I still get the royalties from one of his books. But here's, here's the, here's the thing where you know you that girl, when you know you are a benefit. When we broke up Went our separate ways. We didn't talk for 2 years, and then he wanted to— he found an old number of mine, Google Voice number, and he found a way to contact me, um, via email through Google Voice. Flew to Atlanta and we sat down and talked. He wanted to apologize and all of the stuff that would have happened after the breakup. Do y'all know, I knew I was that girl, but what really let me know that I was that girl is I started to look at after my marriage, after that relationship, and any man that I dealt with— because I typically meet men who are visionaries, they like to move forward, they like— they're, they're forward thinkers, you know, they have some sort of notoriety or some sort of, uh, positioning in the world, they're very highly revered, highly respected— what I noticed, anything my hand was on no longer functions at the capacity that was when I was there. That's when I realized that I was the magic. So these men, not just my ex but anybody I dealt with, had no problem making sure that April Ebony Mason was secure when it comes to provision and protection because I was the magic. I was good for their peace, their legacy, and their portfolio. So They had no problem with, nah, bruh, listen, this one right here, what she need? Because when that brain be braining, when that influence be influencing, when that feminine language be feminine language, and when that ego be stroked, it makes it all worth it. So this is what I mean when I say choose men that are a benefit to you. And even if the relationship doesn't work, you should be able to say and make a list of everything that you gained. So whatever pain you dealing with, it's like, I know this hurt, but damn, I did get this. And it's not necessarily a Birkin bag, it's other intrinsic values that you may have gotten. Because that man, when I tell you, no man could come below what my ex— the standard that my ex set. And then when I'm, I'm growing during that time and after the breakup, you know, we, we go through the breakup and then we, you know, we take some time to ourselves and I start learning that I am the magic in a man's life. I at that point started choosing men differently. It's like, uh-uh, I know I've dated him, him, him, him, married him, and I was the battery in their freaking back. The businesses was because of me. Seeing them beyond where they are, speaking them into the position that they're in, that's me. The woman that is— understands how to talk to them with feminine language and understanding how to nurture their wounded little boys, that was me. Becoming the oxygen that they can't live without. That was me. And when I left, everything that was being done— huh, I see. So now I'm seeing myself differently. Now I'm being very selective about who I engage with because there's no man that ever comes in contact with me whose life isn't better once I leave. I have to get something in return for that. So while you guys are out here listening to bitter women, whether she 28 or 58, understand what I've been teaching you for years Women who are connected to their femininity, spirituality, sensuality, and wisdom move completely different than all other women. And it doesn't matter if she's 18 or if she's 60, as long as she has that and she looks good and she know— she walks with this confidence of, I can literally change your life. Doesn't matter if he's a thousandaire or a billionaire. Doesn't matter what he's done on his own, an Amplified Woman takes it to that next level. But now, once she's identified what she is, what value that she brings, how she can be that force in your life, she got to get something in return for that. She's not dealing with potential. Mm-mm, she's not doing that because she realizes I'm the magic. So I can only choose a man that's a benefit to me, or I will feel as though I'm just giving away all of my magic. So if you are a woman, I'm going to say it again, if you are a woman having the same lame-ass conversations about what men aren't It's because you, my love, have never been with a man that was a benefit to you, even if the relationship didn't end the way you wanted it to. If you hear any woman having a conversation or a podcast about, but these men be this and these men are sassy, you have never been with a man that was a benefit to you. Period. And you won't choose a man that's a benefit to you because you don't know the benefits that you need, because you don't know who you are at your core. A benefit may— for you may not be he pay all the bills. A benefit to you might be something like he takes things off of your plate. I feel like anytime a man takes anything off of your plate, he is a provider. He might be someone that— let's say you were married like me you know, a divorce, got kids. He may be somebody that ends up being a good mentor to your children. He might be somebody that can teach you. I love a man that could teach me something. He might be a man that can teach you something, show you something that you've never seen before. He, he might be somebody whose benefits you may not even realize you're getting until you have that aha moment. But oh my God, this man, just being with him in a, in a meeting Hmm, I learned how to negotiate. So now let's say the relationship don't work. You now know how to go out and negotiate and get to the bag. Don't look at every relationship as a failure if it doesn't end in something long-term. He might show you some survival skills or some— whatever it is, whatever is valuable to you, that man may be that. That man may be that. But if you don't know who you are, you don't know the benefits that you need. If you are a young woman, 20s and 30s, and you are moving up the corporate ladder and you're building your career Get you a man that's a benefit to you, okay? And somebody says, well, what if you— all you got from him was BS from him as well? Then that's your fault. You're the goofy. And I don't mean that with disrespect. Why the hell would a woman stay with a man that's all he gives her is BS? This is what I'm talking about. Y'all deal with this stuff. If that's all you got from a man, that means you didn't choose a man that's a benefit to you. That's on you, that ain't on him. See, y'all expect men to give you something that you don't give yourself, and that's self-respect, that's boundaries, that's treating yourself the way you want others to treat you. You can't expect— if, if I run across a dummy and I have no integrity, no character, and I'm gonna run a game, I'm gonna get whatever I can out of the dummy. If they gonna let me do it. This is why men will tell you real fast, but I didn't ask you to do that. I didn't ask you to do that. And you'd be like, oh, but I did it. I didn't ask you to do that. Women that do not know themselves, y'all, y'all gonna always hit your head Women that ask questions, how do you balance the good from the bad, like, like what I'm seeing now on this live, you ain't ready. You have to— you will know that when you master your femininity, spirituality, sensuality, and wisdom. Go to Amazon and get my book Identity Switch: Becoming the Woman Who Gets What She Wants. A lot of these questions that I see in this live that you ladies are asking, it's because you're still what I call a novice in your femininity. If you're not a part of my All Things Feminine Social Club, go join. Because I have a video called The Four Evolutions of Femininity and gives you the four stages. You shouldn't have to ask anybody the balance for the good, for the bad, because you now have what? Self-trust. Spirituality and femininity comes with self-trust. Wisdom comes with self-trust. Y'all always want to know how about to get to the man. And to be honest with you, when I was on a Dear Future Wifey podcast, I had to tell them I don't teach man, I teach woman. And teaching woman gets you results with man. So a lot of times women want the strategy, women want to get to how do I get to that man. You're not ready for it because you don't even know yourself. You don't know yourself. You still watch content that is in alignment with your past and with your triggers. You still listen to women on podcasts yelling and screaming, but these men, these men, these men, these men, these men— that ain't— that's not— that's not the community that I have over here. And it's no different from the fellas. Fellas, if you want a woman, be a benefit to her. If you're going to choose a woman, that's a benefit to you, whether it's her beauty, whether it's her body, whether it's a place to stay, whether it's to be a mother to your children, whether it be a prayer warrior, whatever it is that you need Make sure you're a benefit to her. So with that, like I said the other day, the main reason why I stopped coaching women is because women don't even have the foundational pieces to build on, and that is boundaries. That is true self-love, not the list that you see in all these magazines, because now we live in a time where we have All of this therapy, all of this, uh, self-love, all— put down the damn journal. How about that? You don't need to write nothing else. Go live. Y'all been writing and praying and writing, and I'm just gonna stay to myself. I'm just gonna, just gonna be me and my kids, and I'm just gonna— it's just, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go heal in isolation. That's BS. That's BS. Go live. You— any woman tells me, I'm doing me right now, I'm healing, I, I can't work with you because I'm going to put you outside. I'm going to make you go and do some work. I don't want to hear about what you— I don't want to see your damn journal. I don't care. I want to see that. Oh, well, this is what I journaled about. I don't care. Talk to your therapist about that.

I just been writing, and today is November 4th, 2025. Today I woke up and it was a soft morning. I got my ginger and my ginger tea ready, and I made it a slow, slow morning because I wanted to take my time and put myself first. And then from there, I got into a hot bath and I just soaked until my fingertips got very, very withery. And then from there, I decided to put on my clothes, but I put on my lotion first. And after I put on my lotion, I took my time as I rubbed the lotion into my body because I deserve self-care.

That BS. I'm not— don't come to me with that. Girl, if you don't put your clothes on and you do all of that to come back home—

it's November 4th, 2025, it's approximately 10:20 PM, and I had a wonderful day. No man approached me because my energy wasn't right. That's what you should be writing. I was not tested on anything that I've been journaling about that I've overcome. So I really don't know if I've overcome that because I've not put myself in a position to be triggered or to see if I will respond differently, because all I know how to do is react, and I have not been tested on response yet. So that was my day. I'm gonna get up on November 5th, 2025 with my ginger tea, and I'm gonna do this all over again.

Get the hell out of my face. Get the hell out of my face with that. And y'all really think y'all doing something? Y'all really think— I ain't trying to make y'all laugh. This is, this is what I've been dealing with for the last, you know, 15 years working with women. And y'all really think y'all doing something? People look at my journal, get that the hell out of my face. When was the last time you went on a date? Oh, it's been 5 years. Girl, gone. I, I just— I've been going to the women's— y'all go to women's conference, the same women's conferences year after year, ain't a jack crap in your life change. You go, you get excited, you get motivated, you rah rah rah. What it do it for? 3, 4, 5, 7 days y'all go and then ain't get ish out of it but an emotional charge. Go, go, I can't work with you. I, I don't, I don't understand it. So I gotta go because I have an event to go to tonight. Uh, but choose a man that's a benefit to you, fellas. Choose a woman that's a benefit to you too. Y'all just be just out here doing— y'all be following rituals, following and blind instructions, and you not paying attention to the fact that your life is not elevating nowhere.

I've been reading all of my Joyce Meyer's books, I've been reading all my TD Jakes books, and I've been listening to Tony Robbins, you know, and I've been, um, going to, uh networking events with the conferences, you know, so that I can, you know, learn more.

Y'all become information junkies. When are you gonna apply what Joyce Meyer and T.D. Jakes and Tony Robbins has to say? When? I don't want to see another damn journal if you're not going to do nothing with it. I don't want to see it. I was just writing my— girl, don't tell me that. Don't— I want to hear that. If you going to follow the people, including myself, when are you going to apply it? This is what the bigger problem with women, in my, in my opinion, is they collect information and do not apply it. I said information junkies. One of my friends says information whores. I cleaned it up. Information junkies just got every last book, every last, uh, uh, affirmation card I, you know, I got every app on your phone that can help you, motivate you. You got everything, but your life still looks like trash. I'm saying, I'm, I'm say you wealthy, say you are a millionaire. You saying it, I'm a millionaire, I'm a wife. I'm a billionaire, you know, I'm married to an amazing man. But don't get out the house and do nothing. Don't take those ideas off the paper. Too scared because you watching TikTok. You watching TikTok and all of the, the butthurt women are over there on TikTok. Girl, be careful on these dating sites. Girl, somebody said some people don't know how to apply it. Bullshit. And I say that because y'all know how to go learn how to twerk. You know how to go learn how to do whatever it is you want to do. I don't want to hear a grown woman tell me I don't know how to play it with all of y'all smart degreed up selves. I don't want to hear that. I— nah, y'all could have got me with that back in the day. I'd be like, well, maybe they just don't know, because when I first started, I was just so extra, extra, extra compassionate. Now I'm just compassionate and empathetic, just a little bit, because I watch y'all go Google everything else. I watch y'all go find how to get your outfit right for that concert you want to go to. I watch you go learn about bundles and eyelashes and, and all of that. I watch you go learn why men ain't shit. I watch you go sit back and watch these videos of these horror stories. And here's the thing, y'all, a lot of y'all are afraid of what's going on in the world with these men and you, all of these, this stuff that you, we see. Let me tell you something. Let me— the gag is a lot of those are fake. Did you know that a lot of this relationship hate conversation that we see on the internet is manufactured? I dug— during my sensual summer sabbatical, I dug down a little rabbit hole. A lot of this stuff is not real. And so you start to see in the world outside that men and women aren't going back and forth the way they are online. But, but the powers that be know that people are spending more time online, so they manufacture these things. These are a lot made-up stories. These— a lot of these are AI people running these accounts and y'all buy, uh, buying into it simply because it's in alignment with your trauma. So now you hear these wild stories about some stuff a man did and that ain't even a true story, or a wild story that a woman did and that ain't even a true story. When you live in the real world, you will realize this is only internet conversation. But because y'all don't have lies, because y'all healing, and I just need to take myself out of the world, I'm not gonna go out, I'm not gonna take myself out, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna isolate and let the Lord heal me. All while I'm laid up in my bed at 11:30 at night with my face glued to my phone, listen to some girl that just got played and left at the altar. And you like, see, see, See, this is what I'm talking about. Or honestly, I knew that he was DL. I knew these men was DL. You know, a lot of this— look, I think, uh, yeah, I'll say it because y'all— they say once you turn 50, you don't— you stop caring about what you say. I care about what I say, but sometimes I'ma say it. You got all of these people talking about all of these DL men and got women with their panties in a bunch, right? Truth be told. I believe there are more DL women than there are men. This is what I mean. Have you ever noticed girls when they have girls nights and they smacking each other on the butts, they grabbing each other's breasts, um, uh, they kissy kissy, touchy touchy and all of that? Why y'all worried about if these men are DL? A lot of women are DL and they, they play it off as, oh no, that's my girl, that's my girl, that's my, you know, are we just girls? We kiki. Touch my titties if you want to, you gonna get smacked. And y'all rub, they be rubbing all on each other and, and oh my God, let me see my— when they at the club, they be smacking each other on the ass and all. Yeah. Yeah, so while they— y'all listening to conversations online about these DL men, y'all need to be having these conversations about these DL women. Okay, touch my girls if you want to, I promise you I will slap you. We ain't, we ain't that cool. I've had friends in the past that made it very clear— females— girl, you sexy as hell. If I was a dude, you know, I would sleep with you. I've had women tell me that. Girl, no, I don't know. I like gray sweatpants and it's gray sweatpants season. So my point is, while you're consuming all of this information, understand you could be missing a whole nother set of information, okay? So y'all got to understand that what you choose to engage with is going to be the thing that you see the most. And as I wanted to tell my ladies, I just wanted to share this with you. Don't let these old women, or even these young ones who have gotten this from younger women, older women, or may not have chosen properly, make you believe that you have to completely forego men. I'm here to teach you, just choose one, baby, that's a benefit to you. Because a man gonna put you through something. I'm not saying that means cheating. Now, everything is not about a cheat. Y'all be so uptight. Is he gonna cheat? Is he gonna cheat? Is he gonna cheat? Are you gonna cheat? Are you going to cheat? I got two men now that I'm, I'm playing matchmaker with who were both cheated on. So nobody knows what you're going to do if somebody cheat. You just say, okay, that's what you chose to do. I'm gonna take my magic away and I'm gonna go find somebody else, somebody else that's a benefit to me. But he cheated, but even though he cheated, there was a benefit to him. And I, instead of seeing the glass half empty, I see the glass half full. Because yeah, he did— he didn't do right, but I still benefited. I'm not— I'm not fixing to sit here and just be crying like I didn't get nothing out of the deal. I did. I— my heart hurts, of course, because I'm human, that it didn't work out. But at the end of the day I'm not walking away less than what I came in. He enhanced my life. Or whether it was anything that he did for you or anything you learned from him. Okay, so anywho, let me go. I have an event to attend, um, and I'm thinking I'm just going to keep this on. I got these cute little riding pants on and some boots. I'm gonna just probably change my boots and go to my event. I will see y'all later. And remember, ladies, stop listening to these bitter aunties. Bye!