Beyond The Spotlight: Kathy Chlan

Spotlight. This time we have Kathy Klan coming on. Um, she is a lifestyle host, actually another Jersey girl, so you know how I like that. And she helps women over 50 feel great in their body and really understand not only the clothes they should be wearing but how to really see themselves. Here she comes. Let's see if it works. This is always the worst part. Let's see, I can accept. There she is!

Hi guys! Hello, my love!

How are you?

I'm good, how are you? I'm good.

I'm just gonna open some more so there's a little more light in my room.

Yeah, I, um, I actually wore red lipstick and pink for you for Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Are you celebrating Valentine's Day with your cute hubby?

Do you know that we did that yesterday, Beth? We did. We celebrated it yesterday because it was just, you know, you go to these restaurants and they, you know, yeah, they charge you a ton of money. So we went yesterday, so I'm good to go today.

Oh, that's good. We're doing, um, we— so we don't do presents, that kind of stuff. We, like you, we've been together forever.

Yeah.

Um, we do dinner, so he makes dinner, I make dinner. The thing that's happened over the years is that he just ends up making dinner on Valentine's Day because I make it every other— you know, I make it all the other times. Don't tell him I said that because he'll be like, I made dinner, I made you like broccoli last night. Oh, are you frozen, baby cakes? Oh, let's see what Kathy comes back on. As you can tell, Kathy is a true— she's a Jersey Shore girl. Um, but if you follow Kathy on Instagram and on Facebook, you'll see how she has, uh, she does like, uh, her Amazon clothes. If you look in my website, you can see that— I'm seeing if she's texting me. We can see if, um, I'm wearing a pink like frilly skirt. And it's actually something that I saw on Cathy on Amazon at one time. And she, uh, she, you know, she sold it on Amazon. So I bought it because it's— it was really cute. I actually wore it when I was, uh, interviewing— when I was doing the talk a couple weeks ago for Podfest as well. Um, let me see if she's coming back in. There she is. Let's get this interview going because I want you guys to learn all about Cathy. There she is. What happened?

I don't know, I hit request to join.

Yeah, so, well, thank God you're back. I was just talking about that, that pink skirt that I saw you wear from Amazon that I wear on my branding. I don't know if I told you this, I spoke in Florida last month and I wore it on this— I wore it on stage and I got so many They come like, people— when I wear that, you know what, I actually have something coming up, I'm gonna wear it again. Where people are like, where did you get that skirt? And I'm like, oh, my friend Kathy on Amazon. And I give them your thing for Amazon.

You know what, when you wear an outfit like that that's fun and flirty and it's not too like uptight, I think that you get so many more compliments and people are like, I want that. You know, any outfit that makes you feel great in, you got to wear it 100 times or every day or all the time.

Exactly. Well, I can tell how much you love wearing your pink outfit today. Kathy, will you tell, tell the audience a little bit more about your point of view? You know, when you were frozen, I was just talking about how you help women over 50 really feel good in their bodies, and not only by how they dress but how they think about themselves.

Yeah, because let's face it, over 50, you know, most of us have kids that are older and they're finding themselves, and we get a chance to pivot and go back to the girl that we were before, before chaos set in and mortgage payments and all that other, you know, fun motherhood stuff. And I just love that, and I want to give women the opportunity to feel like we're not old. We might feel like the number is up there, but doesn't mean we have to be in our mind. I mean, I'm not parading around in a thong, Beth. I would not do that.

Never was doing that. No matter when I was 18, I still was not doing that.

I did, but I had to put the thong away. But you could still look young and fresh and stylish and appropriate?

I think appropriate. Let's talk a little bit about appropriate. Okay. Because I, I like shopping. I actually like consignment shopping the best. That's actually my favorite thing.

Oh my God, you're like my sister. That's all she does.

I love that. Well, there's great places in Manasquan.

Yes.

To go consignment shopping. So whenever I come visit, I come visit down there, I like to go. Because in the stores, I feel like everything is boxy and short. Yes. And I'm short to begin with. So, you know, maybe you could offer some tips on like how to find things that are going to fit our bodies when the trends are against how we look the best.

What you do is— my philosophy always is the trends, you buy one trend that is going to be around forever, like the black dress, right? Everybody has a nice black dress, but you could, you know, pair it with different stuff like blazers. You could put on a funky colorful blazer or your husband's suit blazer. Like, you can, you know, upscale or downplay it. You don't have to always follow the trends. I don't believe that. If you have one or two pieces that are trendy, that's fine, but you gotta look in your closet and see what you have because you could always, always spin that and make that trendy with, you know, something else. So that's—

yeah, that's really good advice. No, I think it's connecting the staples to the trends. So, you know, we haven't— we have a nice amount of people watching us right now. So anyone has a question for Kathy, yeah, please put it in the chat. So I keep waving at everybody so she can answer those questions. Kathy, what do you see that women make mistakes when they're dressing currently? Like, when you— what are you seeing that's happening that's like, you're like, not a good thing?

I think they try to fit into the mold that what is trending. Like, I am not, um, a girl who looks good in skinny jeans, so I will never put on a pair of skinny jeans or those, you know, really tight leather leggings. I won't because I just don't look— I feel not good in them. So when you don't feel good in them, you're not going to look good in them.

You're not going to wear them.

So you have to know your body type and appreciate your body type and go to items that you feel good in. Like for dresses, I'm an A-line kind of girl. I'm an A-line dress, it's gotta go out a little bit. I am not the squeeze me into a stuffed sausage kind of dress, not for me. So you gotta focus on your body type and embrace it. If you're a little hippier, you know, you're skinny up top and you're hippier on the bottom, you have to embrace that you have to wear pants that are going to fit you. And if the size is a size up, then you go a size up.

That's— Yeah, that's hard. That's hard for me sometimes.

I know.

I've worked really hard to get smaller. And then when those sizes are up, what advice do you have for when we're struggling in that dressing room to accept that it's not us and maybe it's just the clothes?

First of all— Stay out of the dressing room. We've talked about that. Okay, those mirrors in those dressing rooms are made from people who run carnivals. Those are those mirrors that, you know, you stand in front and you're like, holy crap, you look short, you look— no, go shop in stores where you can take them home in the privacy of your own home in front of a mirror. That you feel good in, but always make sure you can return them. Like Marshalls, TJ Maxx, Target, Amazon. The consignment stores, you can't really take back. So you gotta make sure, like if you just go there for shirts and you know the shirt's gonna fit you, that's fine, try it on there. But anything you're uncomfortable trying on, take it home with, it's okay to take it home and try it on. As long as you can bring it back. You don't want to buy something that, you know, they're not going to honor a refund. But yeah, stay away from those mirrors. I come home— I came home one time, Beth, and I was like, I look like an Oompa Loompa from Wizard of Oz, the movie Wizard of Oz. I am not 4'11", but in those mirrors, the coloring— you look like, I don't know. I never try on clothes in fitting rooms anymore. Because I'd come home with a gallon of ice cream.

You know, I've been— I, I like Free People. Yes, I've always liked Free People. I actually—

I'm going to show you, Kathy.

I just bought something Free People, and you just said A-line.

I love Free People because that is like a flirty—

no, it's, it's It's vegan leather, right?

Got a clap for that, people.

And it was on— I'm like, right? And it was on sale. It was like $20 because it was on super sale. And I was like, why is this skirt on super sale? It looks great with a tank top. And it's like a different— it's a different kind, you know. I'm gonna wear it like with my Doc Martens. It's a different look than I'm normal. So I guess that's one of the things I wanted to ask you too. Like, yes, I have different styles. I have the flannel me, I have the pink sequins me. I have, like, the black leather combat boots me. I think that people are worried when they dress that they have to be one certain thing at a certain age. What's your philosophy?

I believe that we are made up of all different things. One day you might be feeling a little flirty. The next day you might feel you want to put on, you know, all black because you're—

that's OK. We live in Jersey.

You don't have to have. When people say like they're only one style, I just want to shake them because that makes me feel like decorating a house, that when you walk into somebody's house it's all traditional stuff or it's all farmhouse stuff or it's all country stuff. There's nothing, you know, that's different in it because we have all life experiences that you can put something different there. It's okay. To have different styles, right?

I love it.

As long as you feel confident in what you're wearing.

Yeah, I know confidence is a big thing for you, Kathy, especially— I know your Unfiltered Kathy Instagram. Will you tell us a little bit about how the birth of Unfiltered Kathy and what that means? Because that's a little bit different than the TV lifestyle host Kathy that I know.

You think so? I don't think— I think I, I just say what I'm thinking, I guess, and no holds barred.

Wait a minute, you're from Jersey? Is that right?

Jersey, the Jersey Shore people, but not Snooki. I am not Snooki.

We're not Snooki.

We're not—

we love Snooki. Oh, you got married.

But yeah, I just feel like, um, You just have to like yourself. You know what I mean? And clothes are a way to embrace who you are. I mean, don't get me wrong, Beth, I have bad days where I'm in my cozy socks and the sweatshirt and the hair's like sticking out and no makeup. Every woman has days like that where you're like, what the hell is going on with the hair?

Right? I know, I keep fixing this part.

Yeah, me too. I don't think I've washed my hair in 3 days. Anyway, getting back. Yeah, you just have to have fun. My mom taught me that, Beth. She was always, I'll tell you, my mom, she was a big woman. She was probably a size 16. She is now gone, so I can tell you what size she is. She always looked good. She accessorized her makeup. She just looked fabulous all the time. Her outfits were always put together. And whatever she wore, some days she wore like she'd walk out of the bedroom And we'd be like, what is going on? But she looked great. She felt great. And that was what she taught us, me and my sister growing up. That's what was important.

That's really nice. You know, just like—

you know, bright colors, but you don't have to wear bright colors every day to feel good.

I don't usually wear bright colors. This is kind of as bright as I get. I know. And you know me.

I tell you, you look fabulous in bright, bright blue.

Yes. I actually just brought— I just bought a blue. I went to a friend's— had a friend's house, had like a vendor sale at her house. I had one of those— I don't know if you've seen them. It's like a truck in the driveway, and it's a shop in the truck, and like a white van. Oh my God, it's so— and I bought this very bright, bright blue sweater to wear on TV, because last time I did TV, I was wearing like a green, but it was like a darker green, and I could see a bright, bright blue would really pop my eyes.

But green pops blue eyes. I saw you on TikTok. You look fabulous. Green is a great color. It was a—

it was a great color.

Any green.

Um, Kathy, I, I want to just kind of go back to what you said before because I know you, you've had adversity in your life. Yes. You know, I know there's been a lot of stuff. So when you do have those days where the ponytail's over here and you can't get out of your sweatpants, what helps you? And you know, what advice do you have to women listening that are like, you know what, lately, girls, I just don't feel good about myself and I could use some advice get there.

It's okay to take that day. It's okay to take that day. You don't— you can— that's the problem, I think, with all of us. We all— and I think as we get older, for me, I'm thinking, okay, I'm this old, you know, I don't have— the race isn't going to be that much longer, so to speak. You know what I'm saying? So, but if you need that mental health day and you need just to stay in your pajamas all day, just take it and don't listen to what everybody else says. You know, social media, everybody looks so perfect, everybody, you know, is doing this. No, they're not. No, they're not. 5 minutes before they're posting, they're either screaming at their kids or, you know, doing the same stuff we're all doing. So don't believe that. But I just think take the day for yourself. You have to, right?

You know what happens if that day turns into 3 days? How do you get yourself out of that?

Once it— I think for me, my husband will come up. You know, I'll usually be in our bed and he'll be like, okay, wrap it up, you had enough. Oh, that's so sweet. Wrap it up, you had enough. You know, on her butt. And then if it gets worse, you know, then you need to, you know, talk to somebody about it. But I think that we as women, we put too much pressure on ourselves that we have to get everything done. Like, you know, everything.

I've taken that off my shoulders lately because I can't get everything done. You know, I have people that help me to get the things that I can get done. Yeah, I think too often in the digital space that we're in, it looks like everyone's doing it on their own, but it's very— I don't know anyone who's making, let's say, multiple 6 or 7 figures in their business, or even really their first 6, that does it solely by themselves. You need to be one of those anal retentive, very, very organized You don't sleep, you don't have children, you don't have a life, right? Joyce from Joyful Moments said, progress, not perfection. So I love that we're talking about that. Yeah, thank you, Joyce.

Um, I love that saying. But Beth, let me ask you a question. Do you— so you, you and I, you know, have pounded the pavements for years now, me 9, but what do you do when the imposter syndrome sets in? Because I deal with that a lot. And when I have, if I'm having a day, it's because of that.

Yeah. Um, that actually, that came up for me last week, to be completely honest. You know, I've gotten, um, I'm, I'm, my business is growing, you know, I'm scaling to another level and the people that I'm interacting with at another level and, you know, maybe they're, they're ahead of me financially. But I remind myself that I'm an expert in what I do. You know, I—

Great advice.

And what actually helped me out of this one was teaching my class. And when my clients have that aha, it's like, oh, yeah, I forgot. I make an impact on people. I can change— I can change people's lives by the information in my head.

Right.

So I kind of throw myself into work. But I really come to— my whole life, and I think of it this way, like, you can create a story, right? I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to be Kathy's friend. Why would Kathy want me to go on here, right? I can create this whole, like, what if, what if I called Kathy to come on and she didn't answer me? I can make it mean something, right? Or I can say, oh, Kathy didn't answer me. And I really try to live in that, because if I don't, that's when the other stuff comes in. So if it's I know I have clients that journal every day. I like a little Abraham Hicks in the morning, kind of remind me the universe has got my back. There's— I like energy and that kind of stuff. Um, but a couple days last week, I was like, can I actually do this? Like, can I actually grow to this? Can I actually create this and make it happen in the world? Because it's all about what we, we do, especially what you do, right? It's really personal development.

Yes.

And we show up for our business. Um, I have a new launch. I'm launching the Fame— I'm like, it's not Zoom. Usually in Zoom I have my— the name of my company, the Fame Formula. I have a new cohort starting. So for the next couple weeks, it's enrolling people in the idea that they can be in the media and they can make money from it, and I'm the one to help them get there, you know. But it's that leading into the responses I get from my clients, right? That's what helps me out because I, I can spiral, you know. Yeah, I'm gonna be completely— like, this is a video actually I was— I am gonna do with Kathy since you asked. I royally screwed up on Friday. Oh, I, I know.

I don't want to— like, it's so nice to hear that somebody else screws up though, Beth, because I feel like I'm the only one who's screwing up.

I got— I was triggered by something and I sent an email. I said not only one email to one person, I sent a post to another one, a DM to another one. And I just reacted to something. And it was all around people having my back and supporting me. And they were— the words they were using were supporting me. I just couldn't hear it. I was in my feelings. But you know what happened? Is I, instead of, like, doubling down, I told them what was going on with me and why I was triggered and why I had these big feelings. And all they did was show up for me. I could cry right now. Like, it was, it was a transformative experience for me because I don't always— I'm not always vulnerable in that way. Right. And these are people I don't know that well. We're friends, but we're not friends friends. Like, we know each other.

Right.

They, no matter through the mess and how messy I got, they're like, we understand. We're here for you.

We got you.

And I'm going to do a video about it because I think it's important to talk about.

I think at the Grammys what happened with, um, Jay-Z was not good. I don't— to me, I don't think Beyoncé liked it. And she is doing a country album. Just heard one of her— it's fabulous. I think she is going to take the country world by storm. I think she it's going to be unbelievable. I mean, she's a legend now, not yet, but it— she's going to pivot and that country out is going to do phenomenal.

Um, interesting. Wait, I have a question then. Do you think that one of the reasons that she is going country is because Taylor is now really that pop princess that she was?

It could be. Yeah, she might be saying, yeah, Taylor made Maybe I'll do here because Taylor— I think that both of them are going to be it for a long time, and I think they're— they like each other. It looks in person like it. They look like it. They look like they love— I don't think there's any animosity or anything like that. Um, there's enough room for everybody, but she's probably pivoting for the country for that to see if it works or whatever, you know. But I, I am watching. If you have, um FX, The Feud.

I'm on episode— I'm only on episode 2, but yeah, people, you'll love it.

The acting in it— Naomi Watts is killing it. Diane Lane, um, the actor that's playing Truman Capote is like— I don't even know his name because I think it's him in real life there.

I'm like, oh my God, I saw um, I think it was E! Entertainment. They did a clip from the movie because I only am on episode 2, and there's a clip in the movie where he's drunk and they do it in the show, but they show the clip in the movie and it was— it was really the same. Oh yeah, I forget his name as well, but I looked— yeah, I looked him up and I was like, oh my God, he's been in everything. Oh yeah, different in everything he does.

I'm having a senior moment because I do know because he has been in so many things and he's a good-looking man. Yeah, it doesn't even look like him. Transferred, you know, transformed. Unbelievable. So that show, if anybody has not watched, you gotta watch it. It's— but wait, are you—

do you watch Housewives and stuff like that too? Are you a New Jersey Housewife fan? That—

I'm going to be completely honest with you, Jersey girl, I think me and my friends could have done a hell of a lot better than that group. I think that group is a total Wack mess. Little hot mess. I think that I know people that know Teresa. Okay. And disgusting in real life. So tell us more, tell us more, spill the tea. Um, yeah, and the daughters are not that nice.

They don't look that nice. Like, I mean, what I see on TV, like This husband is not good, not good for anybody, right? Like, why did, why did we think that she was going to pick somebody else that was going to be good? Because she never did therapy to help her figure out why she picked the other one in the first place, right? And the kids are just like her. I've always been Team Melissa anyway.

Yeah, I just think that they seem to be— I mean, Melissa's okay, but I think they need to wipe the slate clean. I do. And start like New York. I know us, we could do it.

We—

and you know what we do, Beth? I don't need to fight with anybody to cause drama. Why can't comedy be in there? Like, why can't we just be laughing all the time? Why can't— why they gotta show to the— because people, I guess, like watching a train wreck. I don't know.

I don't know if they would watch it if everyone got along.

Well, I think they— I think that you could have a little, but you don't have to fight like them. You could laugh. Like, when I fight with somebody, I'll fight with them But then I, I'll spin it where I'll say something at the end to make them laugh. Like, you don't have to be mean. They're like mean.

They're going for the jugular on purpose.

On purpose. Yeah, like, shut up. And most of them probably weren't even born in New Jersey. That's what—

no, you don't think? Well, we know Melissa was. She grew up here.

I don't know. I think a lot of them that do all the Housewives— like, you think all the ones from New York were born in New York?

No, that— I can't remember her name, the, the girl that has Indian descent. She was living in Atlanta or something and she moved to New York to be on her show.

I mean, I don't get me wrong, I love Andy Cohen. He is a genius. But I think it's time to wipe the slate clean because— and my girlfriends and I, for 5 summers, 12 of us lived at Manasquan down the Jersey Shore. 5— 12 girls. We were like We, we could have been the Housewives back then.

Maybe, or Jersey Shore.

I mean, we could have done Jersey Shore back then. He should have come looking for us, you know?

Yeah, yeah, I was just over that cusp. I think I had kids when that came out.

Oh no, I was living, I was having my, the best life.

I remember having a Seaside Heights girl. I know, I know.

Because I— are you ready, people? I urinated in front of the Manasquan Police Department across from the Osprey because I didn't want to wait in line. And I called my father up. Hello? He's like, Kathleen, you gotta drive and get me and my girlfriend out.

I love it, I love it. Maybe we need to start our own reality show, The Actual Housewives, or no, the Small Business Owners of New Jersey. Right.

I think I'd be taken away in a straitjacket if they came to my house and looked what was going on back. Like, really, they'd be like, okay, wrap it up.

I think you'd be very, very interesting TV. I think we'd have a very good time. Maybe we get 12 girls in a house that are over 50 that have to share a bathroom, share a bedroom, and— oh, I would be gone. It doesn't work.

I'd be doing everybody's hair. I'd be dirty and smelly, but I would be curling people's hair. I love it.

I love you.

Heartbeat.

Now can you see why I needed to have Kathy on? It's always a good time. But you're so rooted in love and like support. Yeah. So Kathy, if somebody wants to come find you and they want to work with you, where should they go?

Everything on Unfiltered Kathy. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Don't have to think about it.

Appreciate it. It'll be in the, in the caption as well. Kath, I hope to see you soon. Give you a big hug and kiss. Thanks for coming.

Love you right back.

Love you. Bye everybody.