#26 Self Talk: You vs. Your Trauma Voice | Recovery Secrets Series

Welcome to the Overcoming PTSD Podcast. My name is Brad Schipke, and this is the limited series called Recovery Secrets Daily Coaching. Now, these were private sessions that I originally ran as a paid coaching program, but now for the first time ever, I'm making all 100+ sessions available for free for all of you podcast listeners. And this series is over 100 days of practical strategies that have helped thousands of trauma survivors fully heal. So make sure to subscribe because I'm dropping a new episode every single weekday until the archive is complete, and you definitely do not want to miss it. So without further ado, let's dive on in.

All right, we are live here. Welcome everyone to our Recovery Secrets daily coaching session. I'm so excited for our topic today because it is hands down one of my favorite topics on the journey as a whole, just one of my favorite topics as a whole. And it's a topic that it's easy to overlook. Super, super simple to implement. Super, super powerful, the results that you get from this, this kind of topic. So I'm excited to do that. We'll let Brad do a little intro while we get everything kind of rocking and rolling.

So welcome everybody. Good morning. Happy Monday. Great to be here. Yeah, today's topic, I'm, I'm super excited as always. And it's, it's gonna be all about self-talk. So what do you say your— what do you say to yourself, right? For most of us, unless we're You know, an enlightened monk.

Yeah.

We have thoughts that happen and it, it can be very useful to be able to control those thoughts and direct those thoughts to your goals to help you achieve your goals and help you change the way you feel, change your beliefs and all the things like that.

So, so we're super excited and we'll, we'll jump in, right? So, so self-talk, right? Huge, giant topic. The cool thing about self-talk, and one of the things I like, there's a handful of topics that I really, really like. Because they all, they all kind of have this, this framework of we're already doing them. You already, for lack of a better term, practice, but you already have self-talk, right? You already practice self-talk. The big question is, is your self-talk serving you? Is it positive? Is it helping you achieve your goals? Or is it doing the opposite? Is it hurting you? Is it— I mean, like, this might sound dramatic, but for those of you who have been there, you'll know. Is it destroying you? Right? So is it helping you achieve your goals, or is it holding you back from your goals? Now, again, the cool thing is you're already doing this. You're already doing this self-talk. And so if your self-talk is negative, you know, we're not creating this self-talk. This isn't something that you have to, like, make up. You're changing it to be positive, right? And that's the very, very, very basic kind of overall lesson that we're teaching today, is turning that negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Right? And I want you to think about self-talk as either positive or negative. So there are a couple times and a couple topics where I ask you to get binary. And the reason that I'm asking you to get binary is not because things are always black or white, because there's all sorts of in-between to everything always. But the reason that I ask you to think in this way sometimes is because I really want you to skew the other way, right? And I really want you to, like, categorize, is this good or is this bad? So that we can really kind of lay on the good and change a lot of the bad. So, Brad, I don't, I mean, we didn't, we didn't talk about stories to share, but is, are there any stories in your life or any experiences in your life where, you know, self-talk was a thing that like made the difference for you?

Yeah, I think, I think a big part of, well, the first part of self-talk, right, is first becoming aware of the thoughts that you already have, right? So generally that's where big transformations tend to happen is when you become aware for the first time of like, oh, I'm having this thought, you know, like I'm in this situation, I'm having this, this negative thought or this negative self-talk. And then you have that choice you have since you have the awareness of it happening, you have the choice to change it to a more positive self-talk. So for me, a huge one was when, for me, it was, it was around my rock bottom point when I really became aware of this. But I became aware that I was saying to myself, I hate myself, my life and everything in it. And I'm, I'm feeling a complete failure. Like those were the actual words that I was saying to myself.

Right.

And I became aware of it. I'm like, wow, that's, that's not a very, it's not a very supportive, positive, encouraging thing to say to yourself, Brad. Like, that's like, what do you, what do you expect to happen if you keep telling yourself that? So then that, that for me was a big turning point, just becoming aware of my current self-talk. You know, it opened my eyes to be like, well, obviously that's not going to help me just to kind of mull in all this negativity and, you know, basically say that I hate everything. So right then I knew that something needed to change and I started to just explore and question like, is everything, do I hate everything in my life? Is everything in my life bad? Am I a complete failure? Does this one experience or these multiple experiences that got me to this point Make me a failure. And then once I started questioning those things, I started you know casting doubt on on that self that that negative self talk, and it brought in space for my more positive self talk. And in the beginning, it wasn't like oh I'm the most amazing person in the world and blah blah blah blah blah. I'm like my life is perfect. And you know for me, it was something, and I believe it has to be this way for everybody. Is it was believable to me, right? It's like. You know, my life isn't perfect right now, but I'm not, you know, I, there's so many good things to be grateful for. And, you know, no one's a failure unless they completely give up, you know? So like, and you haven't given up, you're still here, you're still breathing, you're still moving forward. So you're not a failure. Right. So it wasn't like I was like, you're this, you're the best thing that you're the best thing since sliced bread, Brad. Like you, like you are, you're the bomb. Like it was, it was much more for me realistic and believable.

Yeah.

And I think that's what self-talk did to me. It wasn't that I, I, I, it's important to like, the binary thing is important so you can categorize it, but it doesn't mean that you like, I, I, I, like, I understand. Like, I'm trying to, I'm trying to like, it's important to go both sides and it's important for it to be believable. It's important to explore the binary so you can see like, oh, this is really bad. And then that's when I started questioning like, oh, is there anything good? So. I mean, that's a, that, that, that's a story from my life. When, when I became aware of it, I realized it's not a very productive thing for me to do. I started questioning the negative things, be like, is this really true? You know, is my life really that bad? And parts of it felt bad, but when I really questioned it, I, I found so many good things. And then I changed the self-talk to something that was believable and actually supportive of me. And that was a really big kind of transformation.

I appreciate you sharing that. And Brad brought up something that's really, really important when it comes to self-talk, right? Right. Now, excuse me, self-talk is important because, just to be straight up with you, it's going to make or break you. It's going to make things a heck of a lot easier and it's going to help you achieve your goals, or it's going to bring you down towards rock bottom further into some very bad situations. So it will make or break you. Now, Brad brought something up that's really, really important, and this is what I didn't understand when I was learning about self-talk. What I thought self-talk was is like, hey, hey, you're the best thing since sliced bread and you're awesome and you're fantastic. And like, You're so, you're so lovable and you're so worthy. Like, you don't believe those things when you're hurt. And what's important about self-talk is, is that it's, it's honest. But when we talked about positive and negative thinking, something we talked about was it's true, it's real, right? So every now and then we'll bring up this topic of like toxic positivity, right? So if, if you were doing this self-talk that's like, I'm great and I'm awesome and everything is fine, right? And That's how you're doing it, but that's not true and that doesn't resonate with you. There's where we're getting into some territory that we just don't want to be in versus like, hey, now this is what your self-talk can sound like, and this is still positive, right? Hey, things are really, really hard right now, and I'm feeling all these things, and they're a result of the pain I felt in my past, and that's okay. And all I can do is my best, and all I can do is just try to put one foot in front of the other. I'm going to continue to try to get a little bit better every day. And You know, like, and, and this is where I'm headed, right? So it's not denying reality, which I think is a really important thing. Like a lot of things that we talk about with beliefs, with thoughts, you're, you're talking yourself into a different perspective, right? So it's either I'm the worst person in the world and, you know, I'm awful and I'm a failure and, you know, my life is, is worthless. Or, you know what, hey, things are really, really hard and that's okay because I've been through a lot and all I can do is my best. This is what my best looks like today. I'm still here. There are still good things. And I look outside and it's springtime here and there's just like flowers. There's just like random flowers. Like, that's a good thing. You know, there are some things that I enjoy. Like, you're, you're kind of pulling these good threads. And so that's where we actually really start to, to go to that positive side, is to look for those positive things without being dishonest to yourself. That's a really important part of self-talk because this is a relationship that you have with yourself. So this is your foundational relationship. This is the most important relationship in your life. And I'm going to just be straightforward with you right now. The most important relationship in your life is with yourself and how that manifests in the way that we can kind of control that is with our self-talk. You're, you're going to be either really, really mean to yourself, which a lot of people are, or you're going to, you're going to work with yourself. You're going to develop a relationship where you're honest with yourself. You know, and honestly, like, good self-talk might be, hey, like, this is not okay. Like, like, look at the way that you're acting. This is not okay, and you need to do something about it, and you need to change. That is still positive self-talk, okay? You're not beating yourself up. You're being honest with yourself, right? So, so it's all about building this relationship with yourself. And again, this is going to be the most important relationship that you build in your life, and it's going to be the most fruitful relationship that you have because you have the power to To cultivate it in, in the ultimate way.

Yeah. And, and it's kind of funny because that phrase or that idea of building a relationship with yourself is one of the foundational things for me that has been on my recovery journey. It's like, as I reflect, it's like the relationship that I built with myself is the thing that is most powerful and most important to me and was the biggest transformation. Because when you really think about it, when you have all these negative emotions, this negative self-talk, It's you talking to yourself, right? And we're going to go into some different process or a processing tool that will help you kind of go deeper into building this relationship with yourself and seeing all the different perspectives from an honest point of view without fighting with yourself and all that stuff. But that really is such an important piece, you know, that relationship building. And it's like a, it's a beautiful thing, you know, it's a little challenging to describe. In this context, but once we get deeper into—

Yeah, we'll do a whole week on that.

We're going to do a whole week and it will make so much more sense.

And so to give you a foundation, I think just on what Brad's kind of talking about, you know, part of that processing tool is the fundamental understanding. And you can start to understand this and look at this with your self-talk and kind of explore this in yourself. Every negative action reaction. thing that you do basically has some sort of positive intent. And so the way that we kind of describe what's going on now, there's a lot of different ways that we conceptualize and then explain a very complex system, which is what's going on inside your mind or your subconscious, you know, whatever it is that we're talking about. Right? And so what you can kind of think about is all of your negative, you know, reactions, actions, the negative things that you do, think, say. Have some sort of positive intent, and they're trying to help you. You as a fundamental human being are trying to do your best to be okay. You're trying to do your best to express love, to be loved, and the intentions there are typically very, very pure. And the way that we do it just gets twisted because of the pain that we've been through, experiences, and different things like that. And so when you're when you're kind of doing this self-talk. That understanding, and again, we're going to do like a whole week on that processing tool, but that understanding can really help and it can help you to start to see that like, okay, like I'm, I'm not a piece of garbage. Like when you dig a little bit deeper, like, you know, I raised my voice because I was scared. I raised my voice because I was trying to defend myself, you know, and I, it's, it, I do love this person and that came off the wrong way. And so that you can give yourself a lot more compassion. Now that doesn't excuse raising your voice or anything like that, but It helps you bring a lot more compassion. And a big thing of like self-talk, what you're going to find when you practice this positive self-talk is you build this great relationship. And for those of you who maybe have a great relationship with someone else in your life, or you just think about your relationship with your dog, it's like very wholesome. It's very pure. It's honest. It's connected. It's real. And there's no walls to that relationship. And so the more that you can practice this in a positive way, the more you bring yourself compassion, the more self-love you're going to have. And it's just going to continue to develop your relationship with yourself in a tremendous way. So I just want to kind of give you that very bare minimum kind of foundation. You can start to see that and almost trust that. If you want to just right now kind of just trust what we're saying on that, that these things that you're doing have some sort of positive intent and they just get a little bit twisted.

Yeah. And it makes, it makes like, when you think about it, logical sense that like you get angry to protect yourself, you know, you, you might run away to protect yourself and it might not be the best response to whatever emotions or feelings or situation that you're in. But those things, even if they're seemingly negative, do have a positive intent. They are there to protect you from pain that you experience. So it does make a lot of sense. And when you know that, you can start to skew your self-talk more positive. You can start to accept your more negative behaviors or negative things that you've done in your past because they are there. They were there. They did happen, or you did do that as a defense mechanism, as a way to protect yourself from feeling pain.

Right.

And that with that knowledge, it helps you forgive yourself, you know, a lot. And all these concepts are like kind of mixing in into the self-talk because it's important because it's all about, you know, reframing. and reinterpreting either past experiences or current experiences, right? Because what do you really think about? You know, like, what do you think about? So, so I did want to, I did want to start with this or not start with this, but self, self-talk starts with this, which is awareness, right? So your mind is going 24/7. Like I said, if you're not a, a monk who's enlightened or whatever, your mind is always going. And a really helpful kind of visualization or kind of image that helped me kind of become more aware of the talk that's happening in my head was the idea of an internal roommate. So like there's this other, like you can kind of imagine like another person in your head that's always talking to you and like almost narrating everything and then telling you, oh, this, this coffee is really good this morning. Oh, it's a little dreary out today. And, you know, I'm feeling a little anxious and I shouldn't be feeling anxious right now. Oh, and I feel really guilty for, you know, doing that last night. I wish I didn't do that. You just, you start, that's just like thoughts, like your thoughts. And what you can do is you can imagine that internal roommate just to help you become aware of like the internal chatter that's in your head as another person. So like you can think of like the internal roommate that's in your head coming out, sitting next to you as kind of like a visualization and just talking to you 24/7, 24/7, just talking to you nonstop. And what this helps is it helps separate you, like your consciousness, who you really are and your thoughts. And we talked about this with meditation. As well. And you can again see how everything is like mixing together here. But we talked about on meditation on Friday, how what you're basically doing in meditation is you're, you're focusing on something to achieve a mentally clear, emotionally calm state. But you, you achieve that by separating yourself so you can view your thoughts and your emotions kind of pass by, right? So in the same way, you want to be able to separate yourself from your thoughts so you can see your thoughts and then influence your thoughts. If you're all jumbled together, like you, you and your thoughts are all jumbled together, you won't really have control because you won't really be able to see them because you'll believe you are them. So what we want to do is we want to separate them. So like, this is the internal roommate. This is you. You can, you can look at your internal roommate and you can basically see all the things that they're saying to you. And then you can interpret that and change that. So that's just a great visualization. I remember you don't need to do this a lot. I just remember doing it once. And then it like, it clicked for me. I just remember sitting on the couch. I closed my eyes and I just probably did it for 5 or 10 minutes. Just like listening, just listening. What is, what is that internal roommate saying? What is it saying? Because if you can't hear what you're saying, you can't change it. The first step is awareness. If you're not aware that you're saying, I hate you to yourself, you can't change it. Right? So the first step is that. So that would be something that I would encourage everybody here. Take 5, 10 minutes. You only have to do it once in your life. To get that separation, to start hearing that so you can start to influence it.

Sorry.

You go.

So the cool thing about self-talk, right? And that's going to be really important because it's going to be important to be aware always on the recovery journey. Something you'll hear us talk about is your brain, your mind, your body is trying to tell you something when it's feeling pain, when it's doing these things. It's trying to give you signals that something needs work, that something needs help. So that's going to be Tremendously important to build that awareness, which is gonna happen naturally. And that's a great exercise. And the more that you kind of practice self-talk, the more you're gonna be aware of when, when you're not in control of that self-talk. And one thing that I, I love about self-talk that's a little bit different, a little bit interesting, a little bit different from when we talk about like positive and negative thinking, right? And they're like very, very close to the same wavelength. But the way that that I take the angle on self-talk is a little bit more intentional. And so something that I used to do is I used to actively practice self-talk, right? So I used to change the self-talk when I noticed it, when I became aware of it, and then actively practice self-talk. Like, for me, it was in the shower, right? Shower's like my very happy place, right? So I take a shower every morning and I would just talk to myself and I would just say positive things to myself. And so it wouldn't necessarily be me changing any self-talk, but Just kind of adding this self-talk and saying, hey, like, you know, today's going to be a good day. Today's going to be a great day. And here's why. And here are all the things that are going well. And, okay, like, you're doing great and you're rocking and rolling and you're working on it. And just to be straightforward with you guys, like, self-talk made my journey. It made my sobriety. It has made everything that I have in my life today. Self-talk has made that. Okay, so all of these goals that you're achieving, you know, self-talk, again, it's important because it's either going to make or break you. And it's a very easy thing. It is a very easy thing to change and to add, right? And now we're not— it's not always going to be like, oh, like, you know, you're going to hear yourself say like, I hate myself, and you're like, no, I love myself, right? It's not always like that. You might get to that point, right? But, you know, becoming aware and saying, hey, hold on, what, what's one thing I like about myself? Right? And you can see how the conversation for self-talk is very similar to what we did with positive and negative thinking. It's a little bit of a different angle that we can take. Okay, but you're being a little bit more active about these conversations in your head, right? So the ultimate goal of self-talk is to help you achieve your goals. Now, the cool thing about this, right? So again, what I said at the beginning is we all have self-talk.

Mm-hmm.

All of it. It's either negative or positive, right? It's always going, whether we're in control of it or not. Now, typically, that self-talk is going to be negative until we kind of take the wheel and we change the route that it's taking to be positive. Now, after a little bit of muscle, a little bit of time kind of course-correcting, saying, actually, we're going this way, intentionally adding positive self-talk, changing that negative self-talk, it will become automatically Positive. Okay? And that is something that is— it's honestly, this sounds like cheesy and silly, whatever. It's a gift that you give yourself for the rest of your life. Because once you change this and what you're doing is you're actually changing the neural pathways in your brain. But once you get this to the point where it's automatically positive, which, believe it or not, does not take all that much time, that continues and it takes way less effort and eventually no effort to have that positive self-talk. And it's something that sticks with you even after the journey, even after it's no longer necessary, right? So, for example, I took my shower this morning and I'm looking in the mirror or whatever, and I'm like, Kayla, you're great, right? And if you didn't know my journey, you'd be like, wow, Kayla, you're an egomaniac, right? Like, wow, what a narcissist, right? But when you understand that it comes from a place of self-love and it's just a habitual place of like, hey, you're doing awesome, today's going to be a great day. And here's why. And like, I can't wait to go and do this thing, and I'm so grateful for this. And like, what a beautiful day that we have out, and I had such a great weekend. And like, I'm so happy that we got to do these things this weekend. And so you can see that's not all heavily directed at like, you're a good person and you're loved and you're worthy. It's just positive. Yeah. It's just— there's just good things going on in there, right? And even now when I make a mistake, because I still do, because I'm always going to be a human being, it's like, you know what? That's okay. We're going to make an adjustment. We're going to do a little bit better next time. You know, we're going to work on whatever caused us to make this mistake, we're going to right the wrong, we're going to apologize if it's necessary, we're going to, you know, and then we're going to move forward. And that's one of these benefits is like it continues to serve you, right? You miss your routines for a couple of days in a row. Okay, you know what? It's been a little challenging. I'm a human being, right? That's okay. I can't change what happened these past couple of days. Here's what I can do. You know, I love myself and I know these routines are important. They're important to me. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to work to get to bed early tonight, So that I can get back on track tomorrow. No pressure, no stress. Okay, this is all a very, almost very gentle conversation. And again, there are times when that positive self-talk is you looking yourself in the mirror and saying, hey, something needs to change, right? So I talked about this making my sobriety. Positive self-talk made my sobriety. It's the reason I was able to achieve sobriety, okay, and lasting sobriety, is because I look myself in the mirror, especially like before I was sober, and say, Camine. This is not okay. Now that's not negative. That's honest. This is not okay. Something needs to change. Okay? It's hurting you. It's hurting your relationship even if you don't realize it. Even if it's not obvious, it's hurting everything in your life. Okay? You're missing out on time with you know your family, your your dog. You just think about you know my dog just turned twelve, right? And so at the time, I mean, twelve is you know is is not young, right? And even at the time of doing this, it was like you know he only has a couple of years. Left, you know. You're going to choose this over that, you know. And so I would look myself in the mirror, and again, these things aren't negative; they're honest. And just talk to myself. And you don't have to always look yourself in the mirror to do it, but just say, "Hey, this is not okay. Something needs to change. You're taking bad actions. That's okay. Okay. Now what can we do about it? How can we change it?" Okay. And then once I was, you know, especially in that first 90 days of getting sober, I look myself in the mirror and say, "Hey, like." That is not the action that you want to choose. You're okay. Be present. Be right here. All you have to do is not use today, not use in this moment. Here's what we're going to do instead. And sometimes I even say this to myself out loud. We're going to take a shower, and then we're going to go outside, and we're going to go for a drive. And, you know, we're going to call a friend, and we're going to take a nap, and we're going to listen to an audiobook, and we're just going to take it one step at a time. And you can do this self-talk out loud. And sometimes For me, in the really, really hard moments, saying those things out loud gave it a little bit more power, and looking myself in the mirror and talking to myself in the mirror gave it a little bit more power so that I could influence that moment at like a higher level. But these are just some examples of like again self-talk. You know the more that I reflect on my journey and the more that I think about it, you know my recovery journey, my sobriety journey, just me as a person, self-talk made. Who I am today. It is one of the foundational pieces. Because self-talk, you're going to talk yourself into or out of good or bad behaviors. You're going to talk yourself into, hey, all right, you made a mistake. You lashed out. You got triggered. That's OK. Hey, what are we going to do about it? What are we going to do about it so we can fix it in the future? I'm going to go, and I'm going to do my processing. I'm going to show up, or I'm going to apologize, and I'm going to do my processing. And I'm not going to run away from this. And it's OK. You're in pain, and those actions are not appropriate. But, but, you know, I still love you and I care about you and we're just gonna work to make things better so those things don't happen in, in the future. Right. You can't change those things in the past. So let's go and let's do some processing. Right. We don't have to be afraid of our past. We can lean into it. Okay. And so, so you see, like, this conversation is not, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself. It's a lot different than that. It's a lot more dynamic than that.

Yeah. So I love what you said. You can talk yourself into anything, into doing anything. Right. And that's powerful, right? When you can talk, like you can talk yourself into having the worst day of your life, or you can talk yourself into, you know, brushing yourself off and going to do what you want to do. And a lot of times, like we've said in the past, doing the things that you don't really feel like doing in the moment generally lead to the feelings that you want to feel in the first place, if that makes sense. So there's kind of 2 routes that we talked about with self-talk today. The first one was, you know, becoming aware of what's already existing.

Mm-hmm.

And changing that, right? Kind of questioning it, casting doubt on the negative, and then, you know, changing it, changing it, changing it to a more positive light. And the second one was intentionally controlling it, like taking control of your self-talk 24/7, you know, like start just like starting to talk to yourself. So you are constantly inputting the positive. And like Haley said, it's not, you know, I love myself. I love myself. It's more dynamic. It's more, more unique, I guess.

It's like a real conversation.

Yeah.

Yeah. And a way that you can think about it, Kayleen said this to me before, is like a pocket coach, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Having a coach, having a coach in your pocket, someone, and it's just gonna be you and your self-talk, but you coaching yourself. Like, what would a coach say? What would a, you know, what would your recovery hero say? Right. That's another great thing in your head. Like what, how would they deal with that situation? What would they say to themselves? That's another great, great perspective right there. And oh, there's one last thing I wanted to, to bring up. I wrote this down, was like, you want to be specifically aware of the questions you ask yourself, right? Because you can kind of pigeonhole yourself into seeing only negative. Like the question, like the self-talk question of like, why is my life so bad? It's kind of not a very like supportive question. It's like, you won't really get that many positive responses from that. My life is so bad because of this, this, this, this, this, this, and this. Now, if you could change that, I'd be like, you know, what can I do to improve my life? Right? Very different. So I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.

You can talk yourself into or out of anything. When you ask your brain a question, it's going to deliver on that. It is going to give you the answer. So watch the questions that you ask yourself, because it's gonna tell you all— I mean, I could ask my brain that question right now, and it would tell me all the ways.

Yeah, I know, we could go there, right?

You know, like, That my life was not going the way I wanted, or point out all the pain or all the— I just shared my dog, he just turned 12, right? If I ask my brain the right question, my brain is going to be like, go down this negative route and think about these negative things versus just asking the right question. And we're actually going to talk about that again this Friday because we're going to talk about the topic of depression. Right now, big, big topic. But again, it— you'll see how all these topics blend together. They kind of build off of each other and they round each other out. So I love that you brought that up because ask and you shall receive. So be careful what you ask, right?

Yeah, it's, it's like Haley said, if we ask ourselves that, it's like we could come up with a laundry list of negative things. Like, it's very easy to come up with negative things, and it's also very easy to come up with positive things. So I really want to pose 2 questions Like if you don't know where to start and Bonnie's, Bonnie said this, you know, how can I, how can I do this? Or what can I do right to make this better? It gets you thinking about solutions, gets you solution-oriented versus problem-oriented. And it's good to be aware of what the problem is so you can then solve it. But once you're aware, you just solve it. But a great question is ask yourself, how can I do this? How can I get myself to get out of bed today? You know, I'm like, okay, well, I need to be a little bit easier on myself. I need to like just remove a little bit. little bit of pressure. I'll move slower, you know, and, you know, maybe I'll, I'll, I'll take a break, you know, halfway through the day and I'll go for a walk because that's what is relaxing to me. How can I do this? How can I do this? How can I do this? How can I do this? Right. So, and you'll probably become, start becoming aware of like, I can't do that, or I don't want to do that and be like, how can I do that? Right. And it reframes it and starts getting the ball rolling with your self-talk in the right way. How can I do that? Another one is what's good in this situation, right? If you're like, my life is like this, like this sucks, whatever. And you just start getting really down on yourself. What's good? What's good in this situation?

What's going well?

So those 2 questions right there will really get the ball rolling for you in a really powerful way. And it's obviously there's, there's multiple kind of iterations from that that you can kind of be creative with and apply to so many different situations. But if you literally just even just get the, how can I, how can I, like, it will change your life. It'll change your self-talk and start leading you down a more positive path in your mind. And I always like little things like that to keep it simple. Just like, what do I say? It's like, well, how can I do this? What's good? And if you just hold on to those 2 things, it'll dramatically change things.

Now, I just want to hone in one more thing before we move into our Q&A. Brad was saying, just because this is a huge issue for a lot of people, I know it was for us, getting out of bed, right? So a lot of times you'll be in that anxious state or that fearful state or whatever it is, and you wake up and You know, you just, you don't, you don't want to do it, right? And so that self-talk is going to be really important and asking the right questions, not I can't get out of bed or I don't want to get out of bed. You know, let's change that to how could I get out of bed? How could I get out of bed? You know, and then you can just go step by step, right? And so something I used to do, and I'm pretty sure that you had mentioned doing this at different points in your journey too, Lo, just like, okay, like, I don't have to take on this whole day. That's a big task. Okay? That's a, that's a big ask for me right now when I don't even want to get out of bed. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna make coffee. That's it. I'm just gonna make coffee. Don't worry about showering. Don't worry about brushing your teeth. Don't worry about anything else right now. Don't worry about showing up to work or getting dressed. You know, all I'm gonna do is just make coffee.

Okay?

And then you get there and you make coffee, and then you take another step. You know what? While the coffee's brewing, I'm gonna get myself in the shower. All I'm gonna do is take a shower. You know? And so you can, you can kind of do this step by step. Right? And so just, just something to think about. This self-talk applies in so many areas. It applies in you just saying, okay, all I have to do is this. Let's just do this. I know you can do this. Okay? Right? All you have to do— sometimes I tell myself, even now, if I'm really sore and not feeling well, you know, getting up for a workout, all I have to do is get vertical. Just get vertical. Just get vertical and we'll go from there. Okay? And then, you know what? Just, just put on those yoga pants. Just get dressed for it and we'll go from there. Okay, just go brush your teeth and we'll go from there, right? And so, this self-talk applies in a lot of different ways. So, a couple of kind of actions for you. Watch where your self-talk is and change that negative self-talk, and then intentionally add that positive self-talk, right? And a great thing that we like to recommend is adding it, like sticking it to something that you already do all the time.

Okay.

And so, something that is already in your routine, add it to that. You know, when you're sitting there having your first cup of coffee, when you're in the shower, Pump yourself up. You deserve it. And sometimes you'll hear me do this out loud, but I don't hear me do this out loud. You know, I'll just do something well, or I'll pick a new, a new brand of coffee, and I'll be like, oh, good job, Kay. Like, that was great choice. Like, awesome. You know, so, you know, these things build on themselves, but those are kind of the 2 things with self-talk. Change it and then add some positive.

And then I would encourage everybody here right after this to take that 5 minutes, take that 10 minutes to do that internal roommate Exercise. Only have to do it once just to, you know, separate yourself from your thoughts so you can start to see them more, because that's, that's going to be a huge, huge growth moment to be able to see that.

Awesome, awesome conversation today.

So I wanted to say, actually, on what Kayleen just said, she said her, her self-talk made her recovery. And if you remember when we covered beliefs in our mindset bootcamp, right? Not last week, but the week before on Friday. We talked about where beliefs start, right? So beliefs start at the thought level or the interpretation of the events, right? And all that self-talk is, it's you're reinterpreting the events of your life, which are going to change your beliefs, which are going to change your actions, which are going to change your results, right? So by just by changing your self-talk, you're reinterpreting your past and present results or events so that, and it's also, it's going to change your beliefs. And that's a big reason why It's made your recovery is because you're reinterpreting things. You're seeing things from a different perspective and you are changing those core foundational beliefs on a consistent basis, which changes your behavior and really everything, how you feel, how you act, all that stuff. So, and if you remember saying, me saying this before, when it comes down to processing and healing comes down to 2 main things, and then everything else kind of just supports that and gives you tools on how to do that more effectively. One is the release of emotion. So the emotion that the trauma causes, and the other one is a change of beliefs, right? So it really comes down to those 2 things. And then kind of what we teach support you in, in that goal. So when you're processing the trauma, it's a release of emotion and a change of beliefs. And that self-talk for her helped change that cycle.

Right. Really, really powerful to change that cycle and reinforce that cycle. And there are some ways that we're going to talk about to go direct, like, more directly change that cycle, but it's going to support you in those goals and it's amazing.

So you want to read this or? Yeah.

So, so I'm not a perfectionist, or so I, so I thought that topic didn't really impact me in any way. But now I'm wondering if trying to do too much is a form of perfectionism. I do pack a great deal into each and every day. I'm doing so many things, for example, doing yoga and cardio, training my dog, meditating, furthering myself with this coaching, renovating my home and wildlife rescue. And then there's my job. And I have so many books I need to read and hobbies I want to pursue, like getting back into scuba diving, surfing, catching up with friends. Let's just say I never get bored. And I'm— and I am, however, always anxious and perhaps doing a million things all the time as a way of distracting myself from the pain. I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but it's not— I'm not enjoying my life. I'm running around trying to get everything done and feel like I failed at the end of the day when things on my list are not ticked off. There's pressure to do more and more. Is this a form of perfectionism or something else? So this is a— and get well, Phoebe. Thank you. Thank you, Sherry. This is a great question, right? So there's a couple of things that I want to point out that are kind of at play here. First of all, great job because you're aware of these things, right? You're aware enough to say, here's what I'm doing. It's not feeling right. Am I running? Am I distracting myself? Am I trying to be perfect? I'm putting all this pressure on myself, but this isn't working for me. So I think that's the first important thing is to just acknowledge how aware you are of this. Then from there, you know, could it be a form of perfectionism? Absolutely, absolutely. And that pressure is something we're going to talk a little bit about tomorrow in tomorrow's session when we talk about kind of that overwhelm and routine overwhelm. And that's definitely something that I used to, you know, experience in my life too, is like, here's the foundation of it, right? If you're feeling anxious about it, that's your body trying to tell you like, This is not quite right. Something's, something's wrong. Right? And so now it could just be that we're pressuring ourselves. It's not, it's not wrong to wanna do a million things and like wanna get the most outta your life and like do all these great things. And, you know, it sounds like for the most part, these are all very positive things. You're doing yoga, you're training your dog, you're renovating, you're, you're, you're doing self-help. You know, you wanna do these hobbies. These are great things to want to do. It's not like you're, you know, you're like, I go from, you know, drugs to television to video games to pornography to this, to that, to the other thing. Right? So for the most part, it's positive things, or at least that's kind of how it looks on the surface. So, you know, it, it could be perfectionism. It could be just the pressure that you put on yourself and what's at stake, or what you feel like is at stake to do those things. Or it could also be running from things. And so what I would, what I would have to guess, and I would, I would recommend that you introspect on this, right? We talked about introspection last week. This is a great opportunity. to introspect on where is this anxiety coming from? Where is this, this either pressure to do all of this, to do more? Where is that coming from? Because there's probably something below the surface that's kind of driving those things. So we're going to talk about overwhelm tomorrow, so that can help tremendously. We talked a little bit about perfectionism. That can help. And I also do want you to consider that, you know, You're running from something, because that can happen too. I used to do that too. Just stay busy, busy, busy, busy, busy until, you know, I, I would sleep at night. Just do as— pack as much as I can in to distract myself. So these, these all could be what's going on. And so again, what I would recommend is taking the time to do a little bit of introspection on that, and that's gonna give you a clearer picture of what actually is going on. And then once you have a clearer picture of what actually is going on, you can make a clearer Action plan for, so what should I do about this? You know, if it's running, then maybe I need to cut, you know, if you're running from something, maybe I need to cut back a little bit and, you know, take steps to face that thing that I'm running from. Different things like that.

Yeah.

I love this question. And the first step, like it could be all these things, but at the end of the day, the only person that can discover that is yourself. So the first step will be that introspection. And I just wanted to do like a real, a little recap of kind of the steps of that. Just so you have something, Charmy. So the first step is identify the problem. And right now you, you've done that exactly with this question. You know, I'm pressuring myself and I'm not really enjoying my life. You know, I feel anxious all the time, right? So that's kind of the problem. And then you want to get to the root of that. And you do that by asking, this is where the introspection comes in, where most of the work comes in. You find the root by asking different questions. You can use the 5 whys or just go through the different questions. Who, what, when, where, why, how. And start to, you know, drill it from all different directions to really understand it more and see where it's coming from. And then the third step is to create a plan. And then the fourth step is to put that plan into action. So at the end of the day, you're the only person who's going to know what it is. And it couldn't be, it could be all those things. And I also want to say like, there's nothing wrong with doing a lot of stuff. There's nothing wrong with like, there's a lot of people out there, like at the end of the day, do what you want to do. And I think that's the goal. Like you might be doing some of these things to please somebody else or do something else. And that might be where the anxiety is coming from or whatever it is, but you might genuinely enjoy these things and there might be something different. Like who, like who knows?

Right.

You know, but at the end of the day, it's like you want to identify for you what, what's best for you. If you remove everybody else's opinion, that's what I always love to do. You want to remove everybody else's opinion from the equation and just look at yourself. What do I want? Right. What's good for me? And like Kayleen said, we're going to talk more about this, you know, tomorrow as well. But at the end of the day, you, you will need to introspect, identify Where it's coming from and what you truly want. Like, is this something that you truly want or are you just doing it for, you know, a different reason? I know that I did a lot of things for a lot of different reasons. Like I pushed myself or I thought I had to have this really crazy schedule because I was honestly insecure. I didn't feel good enough about myself if I didn't do this. Right. So that was an internal thing, but it was also, I was taking other people's opinions and putting it ahead of mine. So I was doing something because somebody else told me it was right, but not because I wanted to actually do it.

Yeah.

So at the end of the day, you're going to have to discover what you truly want and then go for that. And that's where you'll kind of find that alignment within yourself where like you're doing something that you enjoy, that you enjoy, right? I guess that's it. That's the first thing, like you're doing something and you enjoy it.

So yeah, that's mine. I love that. And I love what you shared about like, you know, there, do what, do what you want, right? Because even now in my life, though, people in my life, I feel like it's typically like, I don't know, like moms are like, oh, you guys got to slow down. Like you're doing, or like a grandma, like you're doing too much and like you're going to burn yourself out, you're gonna work, you know, and all these different things. And it's, you know, it's— you have to decide for yourself.

If it's what you want to do, then it's what you want to do. Sometimes that's challenging. It's like, well, what if I want to work 18 hours today? That's what I want to do.

Like, yeah.

And if I want to take this day off, that's what I want to do.

Yeah, right, right.

You know what I mean?

So, so it has to come down to you and aligning with you and, and kind of, you know, I, I remember my, my grandpa used to watch dog races And so he always used to say, I'm going to the racetrack, I'm going to the racetrack, I'm going to the racetrack. I don't know, like every morning, I don't know. But he would watch dog races, right? And he would always say, I'm going to the racetrack. And for some reason I thought he was watching horse races, right? And so if you watch a horse race, they have these things on their, on their eyes, right? Or on the side of their eyes. They're blinders. They're blinders so that they can only see the finish line. They can only see ahead of them. They can't see the horses on either side. Okay. They can only see ahead of them because nothing else matters. But what they think. You know, sometimes we want to do that in life. We want to put on blinders, maybe even some earmuffs, right? So that we can just block out the noise. What do I want? Okay. And then the more that you ask yourself that, the more you get confident with that, the less that stuff matters and the more you can see where that stuff comes from, right? So there are people in my life, my mom specifically, she's awesome. She's great. And she'll be like, you know, you do it a lot and you have a lot on your plate. I'm like, Mom, like, stop. Okay. I got it. I can handle it. Okay. You know, and she does, you know, she doesn't, you know, she thinks I'm like too busy to like meet her for dinner or something. I'm like, No, Mom, I can handle it. It's all good. I got it figured out. Right. And that just comes from a place of love in her. Okay. But you get more confident, and that used to really affect me, and you used to be like, man, maybe I'm doing too much. Maybe I do need to slow down. Maybe she's right. Right. She's right about a lot of things, but you kind of gain that confidence. So that was a good question. So Carol's sharing, I'm hard on myself when I make a mistake or say the wrong thing. I'm working on self-compassion. That's a great opportunity for self-talk. Carol, right? And I used to be really hard on myself when I made mistakes too. And then I just kind of reminded myself like, hey, that's what makes us human. That's the only thing that allows us to grow and get better. You can't really grow without making mistakes. You, you, it's hard to learn without making mistakes. Just as a human being in your life, there's gonna be tons of little mistakes. I remember like last year, maybe it was like 2 years ago now, like kind of picked up cooking, right? I like started cooking for like the first time ever, right? And I made all these recipes, and some of them were total misses, and they were mistakes. And I had to learn when to kind of trust myself, and I had to serve things that weren't good. And that's a silly example, but you make mistakes so that you can make things better. Or we make a recipe and be like, you know what? It needs a little bit more of this, a little bit less of this.

Right?

And you improve. That's how life is too. So great opportunity for self-talk there, Carol.

So Carol, I'll also say, you know, the protectors. Processing tool. And I would, I would explore, because I would guess that, that you have a part, you have a protector that's, you know, being hard on yourself, right? That, that part that is either, whatever it is, that part that's being hard on yourself is a protector. So that's, they are trying to protect you from some kind of pain. And it's likely, I'm making an assumption here, so I could be wrong, but it's likely that there's another part that is hurt by that part. So it might be guilt. It might be Shame, it might be something else. And those might be, and there might be other ones too. You'll have to go in and kind of explore the situation. But what I would encourage you, because that's one of the best tools for to build that self-compassion with yourself, because you're able to see all perspectives. You're able to see that part of you that is hard on yourself and you're able to see why it's hard on you and you're able to help it and heal it. So it doesn't feel like it has to, you know, be hard on you in the future. And you can treat the part that might've been hurt by that part, the one that might be feel guilty or might feel afraid or might feel ashamed or whatever it is. And you can help heal that as well. So I would encourage you to do that with that kind of this problem in, in, in particular, I would map out the different protectors, the different parts. You can even draw them if you want. I know we've kind of gone through all this before in Broken to Unbreakable, but, and then start addressing the different problems and, you know, showing them love. 'Cause that, I mean, at its core, protectors, it's like you're, you're separating from all of, all of your separate emotions and you're showing them compassion. You're showing that, that self-love and you're also getting your different parts, your different protectors to interact and build a relationship with themselves so they can, you know, love each other. So it's all just like self-compassion, you know, at the end of the day. So I would recommend that as well, since I know, you know, that tool.

I love that. Helene sharing, I like that expression, internal roommate. Yeah, it's, it's a, it's a powerful thing. A little, a little bit of a perspective shift. Gil sharing, the human instinct is to survive, not thrive. It's a, which makes a predisposition to be skeptical. Skeptical and negative for safety, right? We're, we're kind of wired that way at first. And so that's why we need to change. But the good news is we can change our wiring and make that new wiring automatic, which is like, I mean, that's— thank goodness. Sharing. Love this subject of self-talk. So powerful and essential. That's awesome. Josh, what if you are so tired you just want to sleep more? So, you know, when we're having that conversation about getting out of bed in the morning, it's, it's really going to depend on your situation, right? If there's— if you can sleep more and, and That's okay, right? And maybe, you know, it was a tough night, you got to bed late, and you have the opportunity to sleep more. That could be something that you can do. You know, I'm going to sleep for another hour, and then I'm going to get up and do my thing, right? That's okay. Or if you, you know, if you have to be somewhere, or maybe you have the opportunity to take a nap during the day, you could say, well, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get up and I'm going to do my thing, but then later after I do this thing, I'm going to lay down and I'm going to take a nap, right? So that can help. Or, you know, I'm gonna, you know, if you have to get up and go to work, whatever it is, you know, you talk yourself through those kind of steps. And then, you know, when I get home, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make it an early night. Okay. Or, or like different things like that. So there's a few different things that you can do. It's gonna depend kind of specifically on your situation. Larry's sharing, today's session helped me see some deep inner issues on me today. That's, that's awesome, Larry. That's, that's great, right? Once you start to see these things, you can, you're aware of them and now we can start to change them.

100%. That's awesome.

So Joe asking, what if you don't have a choice in something that has to be done? So, so something like taxes, other adult, adult chores, right? You know, life is all about perspective, to be honest with you, to be straightforward with you. Like, we have to do our taxes and I don't, I don't know if there's anyone that enjoys doing taxes. There's probably somebody, there's probably somebody, you know, and there's a lot of things in life that you're going to have to do that you don't necessarily want to do. It's not all rainbows and butterflies and like, Vacation. It's not all vacation, right? And what we control is what happens up here, right? And so tax season, for example, in the past it used to really stress me out, but that's because it hit on something deeper in my case there, right? But life in general is just all about perspective. So there's things that, you know, there's bills that need to be paid. For example, something that I, pardon me, loathe doing is writing checks because I just don't understand why I have to write you a check instead of sending you money some other way, right? But instead of being negative about it, instead of like, oh, I have to do this thing, it's like, hey, this is a great opportunity to, you know, I don't know, to get a little old-fashioned and, and to do this thing. And it's gonna feel good to have this thing done. And it always makes me feel better to have these things off my plate. And so that's self-talk. There's a great example. I don't wanna pay bills. I don't wanna write checks. I don't wanna open mail. I don't want, I don't wanna get mail that's like adult mail. I wanna get like cards from friends in Paris and packages and books and stuff like that. I don't care what the state has to say about paying taxes and stuff like that. So I put them in the pile. But what's going to make me feel good is, hey, it's going to feel great to have this stuff done. There's the perspective, there's the self-talk that you can have. Hey, this is something that I need to do. I need to make this doctor's appointment. I need to change my health insurance. I need to pay this bill, whatever it is. But it's all about the self-talk that happens up there, up in your mind here, that's going to change your perspective and your view of it. You have to clean the house, right? You have to, you have to make some food for yourself. You're going to have to pay these bills. You're going to have to do these things. And you can either kind of drag your feet about it and like hem and haw about it, or like, hey, you know what? This is what I need to do. And I'm going to feel good for doing it. I'm going to feel better for doing it. And talk yourself through that.

I would say too, like, that's, there's very, Few things that you can control in life. Most things in life you can't control, and there's going to be things that you're going to have to do that you like just have to do. And like, that's the way it is if you want to live. I don't know where you live. Oh, IRS. So United States, like United States is a pretty great country. We have a lot of really awesome things here. It's not perfect by any means, but it is very good. I love it. I think it's the best country and I'm very grateful for being here. And that's part of that. But there's things you can't control, right? Most things in life you can't control, and you can, you can either fight the reality of it or you can accept it. And then, like Caitlin said, change your perspective on it.

Talk yourself through it.

Yeah.

When I'm paying bills to the IRS, to the state, whatever it is, I, I express gratitude. I say, I'm so grateful that they, they maintain our roads that I drive on every single day to get places safely, that they provide this service basically for us. And I am so grateful that They, they provide police services and, and medical services and fire services. And that, you know, most of the time you don't think about those things because you don't need those things. But when, when push comes to shove and you need that service, man, am I glad I paid that bill because someone else is getting paid for doing their job, for keeping me safe, for, you know, the roads keeping me safe, allowing me to travel. It doesn't matter what it is, right? So expressing that gratitude can, can be your way of— You know, I mean, no one likes to pay taxes. I don't like to give up the money that I've earned, but I'm grateful to do it because I think about the good things instead of the bad things. I think about all the good things. So.

You don't like have to, you know, it's just like, it's how do you want this? No, it's like, if you have to do this thing, do you want to do it and be miserable? Or do you just want to do it? Like, do you want to accept it? It's like, this is something that you have to do, right? They're here. And this is where like, The end of the road and you have to travel this road, right? You have to travel it. Do you want to be miserable while you travel it? Or do you just want to, you know, change your perspective or just accept it? A lot of things I, I just like, I just accept it. It's like, this is just what it is. It's like, I'm not like super positive about it. I'm like, you know what? The reality is I don't really like doing this. The reality is I don't think the government spends their money the most efficient ways and the best ways, but this is what it is. This is what I have to do. And there are a lot of good things, right? Like there are, like Kayleen said, the military and fire services, police officers. There are a lot of good things. I'm just gonna accept it. I'm not gonna fight it. I'm not gonna be making myself miserable as I do it, but I don't have to like it either.

You don't have to fight reality. You know, there's a, there's a kind of in-between there. And like Brad said, if you have to travel this road no matter what, and it's freaking raining, I love the rain. I'm gonna dance in the rain every single time. Because this is my life and I, I have the opportunity to do that, or I have the opportunity to drag my feet and hem and haw about it. And to be honest with you, I hem and hawed a lot of my life and I prefer dancing in the rain. Joanne sharing, I'm getting great insights. I've been so hard on myself. However, this is getting better. I'm changing my self-talk. We'll do some protector work on this. That's awesome, Joanne. Absolutely. Absolutely. This is what it's here for. Sharing, how do you break out of a mindset of habitual negativity where you aren't aware That all your self-talk is contributing to no progress. So this is part of the process, right? 100% awareness doesn't happen overnight. It happens by having conversate, to be honest with you, by having conversations like these, by asking a question like that, you're going to start to become more and more aware. The awareness is going to grow the more you just make a practice of this. So take the time to add the positive self-talk in the shower or when you're having coffee or just before bed. Or when you encounter a challenge or when something good happens, pat yourself on the back for it. Hey, great job, Dale. You did a fantastic thing here, man. Like you rock this. Look at, look at, look at what you have. Like you did it. You did this great thing. Pat yourself. That's a great moment to have some positive self-talk, not just in the bad moments, in the good moments. And then in the tough moments, right? Hey, you know what, Dale, you made a mistake and that's all right. You're a human being and all you can do now is try to right the wrong if possible. I'm trying to do a little bit better so that that mistake doesn't happen again. Okay? So look for opportunities to add this, and the more you add it, the more aware you're gonna become naturally, and the more you're gonna be shifting that just overall negativity to positivity, and the less the negativity is gonna block that progress. So it's, it's a little bit of a natural progression, but we have to start it by intentionally going about it.

Mm-hmm. And do those, those things that we said, you know, do the interim roommate thing. Definitely do that right after this. And if there's 2 questions, like the 2 questions I talked about, how can I do this? What's good in this situation? Just to get the ball rolling.

So no one likes taxes. Body sharing bills and taxes are one of my biggest giants to handle. I'm finally learning to just put on the blinders and get that paperwork handled. Much less anxiety in my life afterwards. Those things run in the background of your mind, right? I actually have a bill in the AMR, so I have to pay. Right? It just runs in the background of your mind until you do it, and then it feels good, right? And then you feel good about it afterwards. Carol also sharing, taxes are one of my biggest giants. I feel better after paying the bills. You feel better when that stuff is done. It's off your plate. So even if that's your only motivation or your own, like, your positivity of like, you know what, I don't like doing this, I don't like giving this money away, but I'm going to feel better when this is done. That's okay. That's great. I mean, that's— that can be your thing.

So.

Yeah. Also, you think about ways to simplify it. I got taxes down to like, I hardly have to do anything now. Got a bookkeeper, got a tax man. It's all done on the internet. It's like, I hardly have to do anything. I mostly just have to like look it over and sign stuff, which is nice.

Which is good. So look for ways to systemize if you can.

And write actual checks to people.

Awesome. So that's what we have for questions. Do you have any final kind of words for our session today?

Take 5 minutes, do the internal roommate thing. 5, 10 minutes, do that. That's it.

That's a great— do it and practice this. This— that's going to help you build that awareness, and that is tremendous, tremendous, tremendous, because you can't solve a problem if you don't know it exists, right? Then I also want you to make sure that you add this self-talk. Add the positive self-talk. Look for moments. Take some time every day, the same time every day, in the shower, having coffee, whatever it is, To add that self-talk, and then when you win, lay it on. When you face a challenge or have a problem, lay it on. All right. So tomorrow we're talking about eliminating routine pressure and overwhelm. Self-talk is going to come up again there. Again Wednesday we're talking about lost dreams and opportunities. Thursday we're talking about staying sober through pain. Self-talk is going to come up big time there. And then Friday we're talking about depression, also going to show up. This is the thread that will carry. Through everything that we talk about on the journey. And you'll notice it looking back now on everything that we talked about so far. So keep rocking and rolling, keep showing up, be kind to yourself, love yourself, lay on the self-talk in every way, shape, and form. And we'll see you soon. Bye, everyone.

Hey, everybody, thank you so much for listening to this podcast. If you want to learn more about how you can coach with me directly, there's a link in the description you can check out. There's absolutely no pressure. The main thing is I wanted you to get value from this episode here, but I hope you have a fantastic day and I'll see you in the next one.