#57 Mindset Bootcamp - Recovery Hero Story | Recovery Secrets Series

Welcome to the Overcoming PTSD Podcast. My name is Brad Schipke, and this is the limited series called Recovery Secrets Daily Coaching. Now, these were private sessions that I originally ran as a paid coaching program, but now for the first time ever, I'm making all 100+ sessions available for free for all of you podcast listeners. And this series is over 100 days of practical strategies that have helped thousands of trauma survivors fully heal. So make sure to subscribe because I'm dropping a new episode every single weekday until the archive is complete, and you definitely do not want to miss it. So without further ado, let's dive on in.

All right, we are live here. Welcome everyone to our Recovery Secrets daily coaching session. It is so good to be here with each and every one of you here live today on Wednesday. We'll give everything kind of a minute to connect up. I apologize for being late. I got myself locked out of the office this morning. But we are ready to rock and roll. So we'll give everyone a minute to hop on here. If you have any questions, feel free to get them in the— or excuse me, if you say, feel free to say hi. I'm doing a different intro. If you're going to be joining us live, feel free to say hi in the chat box there so that we can welcome you to our stream and we can engage as we go along here today. I'm going to let this lovely man do a little talking.

Welcome everybody. Great to be here bright and early as always. I hope you guys have been crushing it this week. And as all of you know, if you're new, you may not know, but this week we're doing a Recovery Hero bootcamp. So your recovery hero is your future self, who you want to be, who you're going to become when you fully recover from PTSD. So on Monday was— that was our first day. So we're on day 3. And Monday, we talked about defining your current self. So where you are now. And then yesterday on Tuesday, we talked about your recovery hero and defining where you want to be. So all the characteristics That you want to embody when you fully recover. So let us know in the chat box. It's great to see you guys here, but let us know how many of you were able to complete both these tasks and are ready to take that next step forward in really clarifying and, and clarifying down that goal or that vision of who you want to be. Who's ready for that?

Who's ready? Now this is the part of the Recovery Hero action where we're bridging the gap, right, between that current self and that future self. So welcome, Jeanette. Welcome, Lena. Welcome, Jen. Welcome, Judy. Great to have you all. Here on with us. I hope you all really took the time. If you haven't yet, it's okay. You're still of course welcome to be here, and you're going to get a lot of value out of being here with us live. But I've I hope you have taken the time. If you haven't taken the time, I really encourage you to do this as soon as possible. Do today right after our stream here to define your current self. We talked about that on Monday. I hope you've taken the time yesterday to define who you want your recovery hero to be, who you want that future self to be, understanding. Throughout this process that this defining you now is not a process of beating yourself up. It's a process of looking at yourself honestly and looking at the things you, you wanna change, the things that you think are strengths, the things that are weaknesses, all sorts of stuff like that. It's really gathering data on who you are now and then creating a vision for who you want to be in the future. And today we're gonna talk about bridging that gap, right? So what we have here is if we think of it in terms of our GPS, we have Our GPS now has found our current location. Okay. And now we've plugged in our destination. And now what we need to do is find the route. All right. So that's what we're focused on today. So welcome, Jen. Great to have you here. Jen sharing, I'm already bridging into the gap. That's awesome. Awesome. Oh, I am already bridging the gap, stepping into a lot of being my recovery hero. That is awesome. And you're going to find that, you know, when we're creating this bridge here, right, we're bridging this gap. It's not an overnight process. Nothing really is. And so what we're actually gonna talk about today is something we call writing your recovery hero story. And this is a really cool exercise. Some people just like absolutely love this exercise. Some people don't do it necessarily as a story, but more of like a list, a bulleted list of kind of steps and all sorts of stuff like that. And basically how you can kind of think about it is, again, like imagine that there's a gap, right? And there is, this is like quite literally there's a gap between who you are now. And who you're working to become. And so what we're doing here is we're laying kind of the paving stones, right? So we're saying, okay, here's where we are, here's where we want to go. Let's lay these different paving stones. So let's do step by step by step. And we call it your recovery hero story, because basically what it is, and what we're going to be talking about and doing, is putting ourselves in the shoes of our recovery hero. So you're going to be kind of embodying that recovery hero for a second. And then what we're actually going to do, and this is just one of many ways to do it, but the way that we like to recommend doing it is you're going to, again, step into the shoes of your recovery hero, and you're going to pretend you're your recovery hero looking back, looking back in time. So if you imagine right now, however old you are, you're looking back in time and you're talking to your 17-year-old self or your 15, 10-year-old self, whatever it is right now, you already know the things that have happened. You know the stones that have been laid, and you're going to, you know, you can tell this person, maybe don't do this, don't do this, right? But you're going to tell this person, okay, So here's what's gonna happen. This is gonna happen. This is gonna hurt. And then you're gonna, maybe you'll, you'll meet this person and this is gonna hurt. And then you're gonna meet this person and you're gonna fall in love and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, and, and then you're gonna get divorced and, and then you're gonna find yourself and you're gonna be stronger than you ever were. Right? And so you might have some advice from your 7— for your 17-year-old self in the same way that you could think back right now and, and kind of imagine what advice would you give to yourself 10 years ago or 20 years ago or 30 years ago? 50 years ago. That's what we're doing with the recovery hero. So we're putting ourselves in the shoes of the recovery hero, looking back and saying, okay, what advice would I give my current self? And then you can kind of take that advice, and you can follow that path. So it's a— it's, for some people, it's a huge exercise in creativity. For some people, it's more of a bulleted list. You can really do what you want with this. We've had some authors do this and quite literally write like basically a book, but like chapters. And each stepping stone is different chapters. So maybe like 3 to 10 or 1 to 5, whatever, different chapters of actually becoming this person. But what you're really going to be doing in a very logical sense is you're going to be looking at, okay, what are the qualities and traits I have now? The actions, the habits, the emotions, the thoughts, the beliefs. What is that now? What does that look like in the future? And what do I need to do to change those things? So currently my actions are, You know, when I'm triggered, I go to drugs and alcohol. Right now, sobriety is typically an easy example just because it's typically kind of obvious. Right? So when I'm triggered, right, I have these amount of triggers, and when I'm triggered, this is the action that I take. Okay, and that's my current self. Now, my recovery hero, when they get hurt or when they experience pain in their life, now they don't get triggered because they've fully healed. So there's two things there. But when they do experience pain in life, right, because there will be hardship and turmoil at different points in life, that's part of. Life, they do X thing instead. So they don't go for, at the very least, they don't go for drugs and alcohol. They go and they, maybe they turn in and they talk with their partner or they, you know, call a friend or they go for a walk or they take their dog somewhere or they go and they go out in the community and they volunteer. Okay. Or they read a book or they take a bath or they go to bed early or they go for a, I might've said walk twice. Right. But so you're saying, okay, so this is what I do now. This is what my recovery hero does. How do I get to the point where that's changed? And so that's what the focus of today is. How do I get to the point where that's changed? What steps do I need to take in order to change that? And so sobriety, right? Pretty good example here. Number one is, and this can be one whole step, or you can break this up into different steps. I need to get sober. So the 2 steps to that would be, okay, I need to heal, or 3 steps, right? I need to heal. My triggers. So I need to heal the root of what triggers me so I no longer get triggered. But still, in life, we're going to face hardship. So I need to heal the root of the triggers, but I need to get sober, and I need to basically rewire my brain to take a new path when I experience hardship. So those are the 2 things, and you can do those as 2 big steps, or you can break them down further, right? And so you can break your sobriety down even further. I need to drive enough pain. I need to do this for myself. I need to see that this is something that I'm capable of doing, that this is something I need to do, that this needs to be a priority for me. I need to get to 1 day, 5 days, 7 days, 10 days, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, a year. And throughout that year, I need to discover and find new routes that I can take, new actions that I can take that are not destructive. Okay? So you can, you can see how you can break that down basically as far as you want, and you're breaking it into steps. And that's just one example, right? So we took a little bit from triggers, a little bit from actions, and We've made some kind of changes here and we've kind of started to bridge that gap. Okay. What do I need to do to be the person who takes different actions when they're hurt, when they're in pain, when they experience some sort of hardship? So that's the focus of this entire exercise here today. So, yeah.

So basically what Kayleen said was like bridging the gap, right? So in your mind, what you're doing and what's happening is you're, you're projecting yourself out into the future where you're successful, where you're fully healed. And now, because you already defined your current self, you know where you are now, you know where you want to be, but you don't know exactly how to kind of get there. And this is the how. This is where your brain starts being like, okay, I'm here. I want to be here. How am I going to do that? And that's what this exercise does is it puts it, installs the journey in between everything in between from where you are now to where you want to be. And it brings it more into reality. It brings it into Makes, makes what you need to do a lot more clear. And honestly, it's just a fun exercise.

It is.

It's fun and it's motivating.

To break down the sobriety thing even further, right? And so it's like, okay, to get from here to here, I need to get sober. I need to find new actions to take, and I need to heal. I need to heal my trauma right now. There's a lot that goes into this. Okay, so what do you, what do you need to do in order to get sober? Maybe it's go to meetings. Maybe it's read some books on sobriety. Maybe it's surround yourself with sober people, sober friends. Okay, what do you need to do in order to heal your PTSD so you no longer get triggered? Right? I know some of you are in Broken to Unbreakable, so maybe it's follow Broken to Unbreakable, right? Or maybe it's show up to Recovery Secrets every single day. Or maybe it's, if you already know the processing tools, it's do an hour of processing every day. Okay, and so you're breaking this down from like, okay, this is what I need to do. How do I do that? How do I do that? How do I do that? How do I do that? What do I need to do to do that? And so you're making this roadmap. And that's what this is. You're making a roadmap for yourself to get from current self to recovery hero. And this is something like I've mentioned in the past couple of sessions here. This is something I do. I do this every single year. I do it every year on my birthday or around my birthday. And I do it every single year. And I say, okay, who am I now? And the good news is, as you grow and you develop and you, you're going to become your recovery hero over and over and over again, the current self part is not It's not so bad. It's not so bad. It's the toughest the first time, and you see and you make these changes. And so we had some people share in the last couple of sessions who have done this exercise before with us in Broken to Unbreakable. You know, I'm 75% or I'm 90% to my recovery hero, right? And so what they're doing is they're they're taking those steps that they've laid out in order to achieve this goal of becoming the recovery hero, and. Again, what we're doing here is we're putting ourselves in the shoes of this future self, remembering this future self is you. So you're putting yourself in the shoes of your future self, and you're looking back, you're looking over your shoulder, and you're saying, here's what I did in order to become this successful, wholesome, awesome human being who has overcome all this hardship. And you're laying out the steps.

Yeah. So imagine you are your recovery hero, sitting in your nice home in front of a fireplace, On your computer or in a notebook, and you're literally in your hand, you have, and you're writing the manuscript to the story of how you got here, right? So that's what we're, that's what we're talking about today. But it's such a, it's such a beautiful thing, right? So right here, you're, you're writing your, your hero story. Another thing writing your hero story does is it starts to build belief, right? Because a few people, you know, throughout the week have expressed, you know, like, I'm not even sure if this is possible. Like, I'm writing these things down, I'm trying to imagine the future, and I'm like, I don't even know if I can do this, you know? I don't know if I'm capable. I don't know if like it's possible for me because I've been through so much stuff. And what this does is it starts building that belief because a lot of times, you know, we don't really— we, we, when you're overwhelmed, when you've gone through so much pain, you can look at something and just label it as impossible. And sometimes it's because it like, you're, you've just gone through so much in your life. Sometimes you get input from other people who tell you it's impossible, but whatever it is. Generally speaking, when you believe that something's impossible, you don't really think about how you could make it possible, right? So you don't do much thinking about what we're about to have you do, bridging that gap. You know, you don't think about really what you want in the future and you don't really think about how you can get there. And this is in essence getting you to think, how can I get there? But basically, how did I get here? Right? So it's a whole different, even mindset, like above and beyond that. It's not how can I get there? It's like, how did I get here? Right? I'm already here. That's what we want you to do. Visualize, I'm already here. I've already achieved this. How did I get here? I did this, I did this, I did this. I went through this. I had so many hardships and, you know, I pushed through it and I loved myself through it and I was nice to myself and, you know, I overcame this obstacle and I overcame this obstacle. No, it wasn't easy, but I never gave up. I was 100% committed and that is how I achieved this. So it really, it really builds that belief just by doing this exercise. And it's a beautiful thing.

I think that says it all too, because I love the verbiage that you use. It's how did I get here? You achieved that thing. That's you. That's you. And you've done it. You're just figuring out how you did it, right? And you're just kind of writing down, this is how I did it. And so to go on that point a little bit further, there were times when I was doing this exercise, right? And so for me, a big point in my life that I used to, when I was really, really struggling, I used to used as a recovery hero, again, without really understanding what this was, I knew that, you know, if I had a future, there was one thing specifically that was one of my biggest goals, and it was to have a family. And that's always something that I kind of came back to. And that's always kind of the thing that gave me the hope. And that's always where I painted my recovery hero. And so when I painted myself there, when I kind of imagined myself there, I knew certain things for sure. I knew when I, when I had, when I had, right, when I was in that, when I had that family, that I was no longer hurt, that I had some somehow figured out a way to heal, that I was sober, that there were certain actions that I wasn't taking, that there were certain actions that I was taking, right? And so I was eating right, I was exercising, I was taking care of myself, I was being a positive role model, I had, you know, positive self-talk, I was just Overall, a happy person, right? And I could picture myself in that situation. And I used to picture myself in nowhere in particular, but in standing in some random kitchen with just a bunch of little kids running around and making a mess everywhere and just being super happy, but also having this fundamental understanding that things were different for me, that I could sleep through the night, that I never raised my voice, that all these different things. And so I would project myself into that recovery hero and then look back and say, okay, So I did that. Now it's how did I do that? How did I get to that moment? And that's a moment that I know is still in my future. I know that moment is going to come eventually someday, right? And so it's how did I get to that moment? So in that moment, looking back, so I knew that I got sober. I knew that I healed. Well, how the heck did I do that? Like, how did I do that? I did it. That's great. So how did I do it? And then it's like, okay, so this and this and this and this and this. Part of writing your recovery hero story, which we'll talk about later in the week, is making amendments to it as, as you change and as you, you know, overcome obstacles and you get new information, you get data, you kind of refresh this. And that's part of the process as well. But it's a really amazing thing. And one of the things I even did in my recovery hero story, again, the first time before this was like a fully formed thing that we did and worked, was even write obstacles in there. Right? And so what you probably know in life better than anyone is that it's not smooth sailing, right? And so we can write this pretty story from beginning to end that everything went perfectly well, and that was great, but that's not going to be the reality of the situation, right? So I really want you to imagine this is you. This is human you. This is you in the future and looking back. And if you look back to your 17-year-old self, you'd be like, listen, it's gonna get hard. There's gonna be some really tough times and there's gonna be some really good times. And the most important thing is just to keep putting one foot in front of the other or something like that. And so you can even kind of write those challenges within this story. And this is why for some people it's a, it's a very, very creative exercise. Other people write it more as kind of a bulleted list. It's totally up to you either way. The most important thing is that you're working on figuring out how to bridge that gap.

Mm-hmm.

But it's a powerful exercise to be able to do in that way to, to And so when I was doing mine for sobriety, it was like, okay, so I know I need to get sober. And guess what? I know that's not going to be easy. I for sure know that's not going to be easy. And at the same time, I know I'm going to be able to achieve it. So it's about how do I achieve it? And it's about, okay, like, I tried these different things, or I'm going to try these different things. And okay, that didn't work. That didn't help. That didn't help. That made me worse. Okay, that just means I have more data. Those things don't work. That's great. Now what will work? Until you figure out what does work, and okay, so you you kind of you can write those obstacles into the story. There's going to be part of that in the story in bridging this gap. So again, some people get way way creative with this. You're welcome to do as much or really as little as you want with this. Just understanding that the main goal is to help you bridge that gap and putting yourself in the shoes of the recovery hero, that future self. It's going to come up again in coaching either tomorrow. Yeah, probably. It's going to come up again tomorrow in coaching because we're going to use that as a thought exercise to help guide you basically through this journey. This is your journey to full recovery, right? And so Brad and I run a program, it's called Broken to Unbreakable. And we were naming it, we were thinking about what to name it and we were thinking about—

We were thinking about broken to a little less broken, but that didn't really have a good ring to it.

To normal, to like you are now? No. Well, when we were naming it, we were kind of having this discussion and I don't even know if we had really any other names that got thrown around, but one of the things we had kind of said is like, it's deceiving to say that you go from feeling broken— now of course you're not broken— to just like living a normal life, because the skills that you learn, the skills and the tools that you learn, make you unbelievably strong. They give you an unbelievable amount of momentum, and they take you far beyond normal. Most people have problems. They have relationship problems, they have financial problems, they have problems with, you know, self-talk, whether they even realize it or not, mental health problems, right? At some degree, people have problems. And the tools and skills you learn through the recovery journey allow you to just like blow right past those problems and them to be non-issues. And we have a saying— I work out in a workout group and they're awesome. And they're one— every now and then, maybe every year, they make like a new t-shirt with a saying and we vote on it and all sorts of stuff like that. And I remember one year the saying was, you know, the workouts don't get easier, you just get stronger. And I thought that was really interesting because the way that this workout program is laid out is I could do it, Brad could do it, you could do it, and my mom could do it. And honestly, if my grandma was here, she could do it. And it's— that's how it's laid out. It's all at a different level. I'm going to do a lot more reps because I'm a lot younger and a lot stronger. Brad would do even more reps than me because he's even more strong than I am, right? And it's so— it doesn't get easier. You're just constantly getting stronger. And life is not all that different right now. It, it, it is gonna get easier once you heal your PTSD. Things get tremendously different, but you have this strength. It, it doesn't really get easier. You just build this unbelievable strength. You heal from the past and you keep that momentum. You keep those tools and skills to allow you to go through really anything and with utmost, for the most part, grace and typically a ton of ease. It doesn't mean you stop being human. It doesn't mean you stop facing hardships. It doesn't mean there won't still be loss and stuff like that. And also, I'm not saying that there's trauma in your future forever. What I'm saying though is you're gonna build this amazing strength. And so we had named the program Broken to Unbreakable because it was reflective of how you feel at the beginning and, and how you are at the end of going through this journey. And so that's the journey that you're going through. You're going from now you're not broken, but maybe probably feeling broken or close to it at some points to becoming unbreakable. That's who your recovery hero is. So I challenge you to really step into this and quite literally sit. And now we've done a session on visualization. I'll pull up the number in a minute here. But sit and visualize your recovery hero. Imagine yourself like, just like I did, whether it's in that kitchen. Now for me, right, so we don't have kids yet. Now this was a long time ago I did this, right? So in that kitchen with a bunch of kids running around, that's what I wanted my future to look like. It's still what I want my future to look like. Right? And so whatever you want your future to look like now, it could just be you alone in the woods whittling. It doesn't have to involve other people, right? But put yourself in the shoes of your recovery hero. Spend a couple of minutes in that visualization. Visualize that feeling. What do they feel like? They're going to feel peace. They're going to feel calm. They're going to feel positive, relaxed. It's going to be totally different from the way you feel now. And then give yourself that advice looking back.

I love that. I love that. And Kayleen said, make sure to include obstacles. That is very important. I hit this obstacle, I overcame it in this way. And if you are ever unsure about what to include in your story, that's why we went through these first steps before writing the story. What you can do is you can go through all the things you wrote down that describe your recovery hero, and you can just go through it, or you can go through the ones that you want to achieve the most. And ask yourself, how did I do this? And just write the story for that. How did I do this? Write the story for that. How did I do this? Write the story for that. And then you'll come up with the overall story of how you made that transformation. So I already see Judy in there. She's like, I could sign off right now and just get started. If you feel that way and you're ready to take action, do it, do it, get it done, have fun with it. And it's going to build a lot of clarity and it's going to build a lot of hope and it's going to build a lot of belief in yourself. Because you can do this and you're gonna be in that point, in that mindset of like, I did do this. And that is so powerful.

And I think that's the really cool thing about this, this exercise, right? And so it can be as creative or as non-creative as you want for you non-creative people or people who, you know, maybe don't like to be creative or you're more of a, like, I, I know you did this exercise and you enjoyed kind of the story part, but I pick on you as like an INTJ, more of like a, let me make a list. Or that maybe is, is me as like a Type A person. Like I'm gonna make a list of steps basically. It doesn't really matter how you do it.

No, it doesn't.

But, I encourage you to spend some time in— and we're going to talk more about different Recovery Hero visualizations tomorrow. And, visualization is session number 10, so you can search that in the platform. But, we're going to spend some time on different Recovery Hero visualizations, but really spend some time. At the very least, just spend some time, a few minutes visualizing what it would feel like to be that Recovery Hero. And, what that's going to do, it's not just a fun visualization exercise. This is not just a creative exercise. That your teacher is assigning you and is gonna get graded and be part of your final grade. This is something much, much deeper than that. And so what we're actually doing in your brain is we're programming in a goal. And so you can literally think of your brain like a GPS. It needs a goal, it needs a destination. Our brains are optimized to, or our brain's optimized to achieve goals. They're gonna optimize to achieve goals. I want you to think about that. Our brain is here to serve us, and it's up to us to either set it up for success or typically by default when we experience trauma, we kind of set it up, and I hate to use the word failure, but we set it up to not succeed. And so what you think about will become your reality. Your beliefs will become your reality. Your recovery hero will become your reality. The more time you spend kind of programming this in your mind, and that's literally how you can think about it. And Maxwell Maltz wrote an amazing book about this.

Psycho—

Cybernetics.

Yep.

And so if you've ever read anything like that, really, really interesting book, but it's, it's basically defining more of the science and the how to this. The how is visualization, not to spoil the book, but, but if you spend some time, the more time you spend with this exercise, the more time you spend in there doing the visualization and be like feeling your recovery hero and stepping into the shoes, the more the, you can think about it like the stronger you're programming your brain. Right, and so you're just showing your brain here's this thing, here's this thing, here's this thing, here's this thing. Yeah. Here's this thing, here's this thing, here's this thing, and your brain eventually can be like got it. Okay, cool. Got it. And what it's going to do is it's going to start to look for opportunities. Okay, and so we have something in our brain. It's called a reticular activating system, RAS. Okay, and if you've ever bought a new car or gone to buy a car that is new to you, Brad, in the fall, I think, or maybe last summer, recently traded in his car for a Toyota Corolla. And now we love Toyota Corollas, so we see them everywhere. But the second he bought this specific model of Toyota Corolla, all of a sudden on the way home from the dealership, there it is, there it is, there it is, there it is, there it is, there it is, there it is. Right? When I bought my Nissan, now I'd never owned a Nissan. I was a Toyota person. I bought my Nissan. It's a Nissan Versa Note. I'd never seen this car, or I never thought I saw this car ever. I'm driving home from the dealership. I see like 30 of them on the way home from the dealership. Maybe you buy a new shirt, you learn a new word, same thing. What's happening is not that you're all of a sudden seeing these cars everywhere, maybe a Tesla, or if you've ever heard of a Rivian, right? So we have a friend that has a Rivian. They're very, very new.

It can spin in a circle, apparently.

Not yet, actually.

Oh, don't mention that.

So when, you know, so maybe it's Tesla or an electric car or whatever it is, it could be a word, a shirt, anything like that. What's happening is not that all of a sudden you're seeing more of them. What's happening is that Your brain, because it's been marked as important to you, basically because now you own this car, you're thinking about buying this car, you like this shirt, or you've learned this new word, what you've done in your brain is basically marked it as important. And what you've said without realizing it and what you've done with your brain without realizing it is saying, hey, pay attention to this. And so it's not that you're all of a sudden seeing more, it's that your brain is showing you more. It's aware of them. They've always been there.

Mm-hmm.

They've been all over the place, but now your brain is pointing them out to you. And so basically what we're doing here is we're taking that system in our brain, that RAS, that reticular activating system, and we're saying, hey, this is important, this is important, this is important. And so what it's going to do, and what I'm talking about when I'm saying programming your, your brain and your goals, what it's going to do is it's going to show you opportunities, doors to continue on this journey. So it's going to say, okay, so that's where we're going. Oh, let's try this. Okay, so that's where we're going. It's— that's important to us. And so now it's going to show you all these doors that you— they were always there, but you didn't realize you could take opportunities you didn't realize you had until you started to program this thing. So that's what we're doing. We're, we're marking it as important.

Yeah, I love that. And that's what it is when you have this goal and you refresh it, or this image of who you want to be. That's what it is. You're inputting into your brain, this is important. And you're going to find opportunities to succeed to get that. It's so amazing. But Maxwell Maltz is really interesting since you brought it up. For those of you who don't know, he was a plastic surgeon who would do surgery on some people, and he noticed how he kind of dove into kind of more of the psychology aspect of things was he would do plastic surgery on people, and he found that some people, when he like, you know, fixed something or changed something on their face, It totally changed how they viewed themselves and they were a totally new person. And then for other people, they would— he would, you know, do something like a similar change and they would still think that they were ugly or a bad person or whatever it was. And that was very intriguing how you can have basically the same 2 surgeries but have 2 different outcomes based on how that person perceives themselves. So like Jen said, it's about your self-image, your self-concept, and that's kind of what we're doing here. It's like we're changing that as well underneath everything. What do you believe about yourself? How do you view yourself? And you just thinking about this more, and we're getting you like to go deep on this first, first by listing everything you want, but then going deep on this story and going like, you're going to be immersing yourself into this, this new you who, like who Kayleen said yesterday or the day before, it's like basically who you really are, you know, underneath all this pain. But it's a It's an exciting journey.

It really is. And what's cool about this exercise, right, is like you're gonna write this story, you're gonna work to bridge this gap, and you're gonna write here are the steps to take and, and stuff like that. And again, we're relating it to a GPS. That's gonna be one route that you can take. Now, typically when you type something into a GPS, it gives you a couple of routes that typically also overlap with each other, and they're typically not all that different. Why? Right?

Mm-hmm.

We have a route from here to Connecticut specifically. That, you know, one route takes the highway and one route takes right next to the highway, right? And goes the back roads and they're like 2 minutes different and they overlap for like a third of the journey, right? And so what's cool about this exercise here, and we're gonna talk more about like refreshing this exercise, is you are writing this story and then as you gather more data, you're gonna make some adjustments and you're gonna adjust it. And so it's just a, it's a, I mean, it's, it can be a fun exercise if you let it. It's an amazing exercise for so many reasons to program your mind, to set your goals, to help you see opportunities. And I, I love what you brought back about what we said yesterday, to really unleash that inner you. That's what it is. It's you. You're, it's, you're already in there. We're just working on bringing that out. And that is a really, really cool and really, really special thing. And we're working on bringing this out a lot faster and a lot more deliberately than it would otherwise. Right? So I don't wanna say you would never ever become this person without this. Exercise, but it might take you a long time. And you know, I mean, it might not happen, but it might take you a very long time. I was reading a book recently, and I forget what book it was, but someone was saying, you know, they were interviewing people in their 80s and in their 90s and in their late 90s and hundreds, and had kind of asked them, you know, what what do you wish you knew earlier? And all sorts of stuff like that. And they had said, you know, like I just I wish I I wish I knew myself. I wish I had just been myself a lot earlier. And that's what can typically naturally happen as we age is we, we are more and more and more of ourselves, but sometimes we're even in our 50s, 60s, 70s, and still trying to kind of fit ourselves into somewhere where we're not fully ourselves and we're not fully this person that is underneath.

Mm-hmm.

And we had conversations last week in sessions where it was all about like, you know, making decisions for you and flexing that muscle of what do I want? What do I want? If no one else was here, what do I want? Because you can't be anyone else and you can't fit into a box that's not your mold and your shape. And that's what the Recovery Hero is going to help you do. It's going to help you become more and more of yourself and unleash that and unleash that inner you and unleash that, like, that true identity, which is cool too, because that changes throughout a lifetime as well. And we're always changing. We're always growing. And when you become this Recovery Hero, which you will, Because again, this is you. When you become this recovery hero, you're just going to be— it's such a whole feeling. You're going to be so whole and so confident, so sure of yourself, and just so solid in the decisions that you make and the changes that you want to make, no matter what they are in your life. It's a beautiful thing. You really develop a relationship with yourself that is unlike anything else because you're traveling this journey and you are this person. So Your challenge today, your—

and you're looking back with faith on your life and your journey and belief in yourself, maybe for the first time.

Which is— no, which isn't— I mean, that's another really important part is like, this recovery hero has done it. So when you're doing this visualization, you're sitting there or whatever it is, and when you're embodying that recovery hero, there's absolute certainty because you've done it. You've already done it. And so we have some things when we talk about goals, and one of the things is Writing them down as if you've already done them, and this is a similar kind of process that we're we're doing in our brain here.

Exactly.

You're writing them down as if you've already done them because you're embodying that recovery hero. That recovery hero has already done it. I am my recovery hero from five, ten, fifteen years ago. I've already done it. I've done the work, right? But five, ten, fifteen years ago, when I was visualizing myself, I had felt the same thing. Okay, that person, that version of me did the work. What did they do? What did they do? So there's absolute confidence and faith and belief. in yourself. And this leads into a little bit about what we're talking about tomorrow, which is basically how to use this as an exercise to guide yourself on a more daily basis and sometimes a moment-by-moment basis using this kind of Recovery Hero. So any final things before we go into our Q&A?

Not really. I was— last thing I was going to say was just, this might be the first time you're looking into your future with a positive lens, which is also amazing. That's why this exercise is so, so powerful because it's, it's almost, it's almost like going in the back door and like making you look at things from a positive perspective. It's, it's great. It's awesome. But that's it.

So it's a cool exercise. So that's your challenge today. Write your story. And, uh, you know, we didn't give you a, like really super strict guidelines for your story because you're welcome to be as, as detailed, as creative as you want with that story. Now, keep in mind, your, your story is from your now to your future. So this recovery hero story has nothing to do with what you've experienced. Not really. It's from now to your future, from right now to this future you. Okay. So it's bridging this gap here. So anything that's come before, while it's going to come into play in bridging this gap and overcoming certain things, you're not writing the story of what came before. You're writing the story of now to that recovery hero self, to that future self. So that's your challenge for today, whether you do it in a bulleted list, whether you do it in steps, whether you draw it in stepping stones, whether you do a graph or a graphic organizer or something like that. That was the word we were looking for, like, 3 days ago.

Oh, was it?

It was graphic organizer. Or whether you write chapters or however you do it, it's an amazing, amazing exercise. Spend the time to do it. I see Judy already left us to do it. That's beautiful, Judy. You're going to do great with that. So that is your action for today. And now tomorrow we're going to talk about more Once you have this now, now you're gonna have, or after, by tomorrow, you're gonna have 3 parts of a whole, right? So you're gonna have the now, the future, and how to bridge that gap. What we're gonna be talking about tomorrow is how to bring this into a daily process. So basically to not just make this a one and done exercise. Now the bulk of the work is gonna be behind you tomorrow. I promise today is probably the bulk of the work. It's probably 50% writing the story, and then I don't know what the percentages are, whatever. The bulk of the work is gonna be behind you. And then it's going to be about kind of what we call refreshing, and we'll talk about why that's important tomorrow and why that's important in our brains. And here's just a quick example: do you remember all the dinosaurs, or do you know all the 50 states and capitals, which you probably did at some point in your elementary school career? So lots of reasons why that's going to be important. So that's what we're going to talk about tomorrow. And then Friday, we're going to either continue the conversation on Recovery Hero if we have more questions and more things that We need to kind of dial in and chat more about. If not, we will do just kind of a question in a normal session for our Recover Secrets coaching session. But amazing, amazing job today. We'll move into our Q&A. So if you have any questions, feel free to get them in the chat box there, and then we will, we'll answer them as we go along here.

Absolutely.

Awesome, awesome, awesome job.

Great job today showing up and getting this done.

Get it done.

Hope you guys have fun with it too, because it, it It is a, it's like you're writing a story, you're writing the story of your life. It's, it's, it's a lot of fun.

It's your redemption story. It's your underdog story. It's such a fun story.

Yeah. Like Judy was so pumped up that she left to go write it. It's awesome. So if you guys are like, the creative juices are flowing, you're already thinking about, okay, this is my story and this, I want to write it. You can leave right now.

Get it done. We're going to do that. We're going to do, if there's any questions, we'll answer them.

Mm-hmm.

If there's no questions, usually we read comments and like talk about stuff like that. If there's no question, we'll give like 2 minutes for questions to kind of come in. There's no questions. We're going to let, cut you loose early and encourage you to take the next 15 minutes of what we would have been here for talking and coaching and, or answering questions and to take the next 15 minutes and start on this exercise. And at the very least start, but you can do a lot in 15 minutes.

You can do a lot more than you realize in 15 minutes.

So that is your challenge for today.

So we'll give a minute or so for questions if you have questions or clarification on this. Otherwise, we're going to let you loose to start crushing it.

I don't think we've ever done in Recovery Secrets what— cut loose early. It's a good thing. It's a good thing to do sometimes.

It is.

In BTU Live a few times, like, use this as an opportunity right now. I used to love that. That was a skill I learned in in actually middle school when I was doing like classes and then I had a ton of extra sports and stuff. When I had a little bit of free time at the end of a class, you know, we'd end maybe 5 minutes early and then we had 4 minutes in between the bell. That was 9 minutes to get half of my math worksheet done so that I didn't have to stay up late after I did sports and stuff to finish homework. Seriously.

Yeah.

And so by the time I had been through my entire day, I had done all my homework. And then when I got finished, 'cause I didn't really have a lot of time and it was a really cool way to do it. So you kind of chip away and spend 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there and 5 minutes here.

So it would work.

It would work.

Yeah.

So sometimes it's a really, really cool thing to, to do. Oh, I love that. Ella sharing, I've been visualizing myself as my recovery hero since April 17th, down to the colors I am wearing with a quiver of arrows on my back. That is really, really awesome. I love that, Ella. That I love. And I can picture you doing that, right? I've always admired Katniss in The Hunger Games.

For what?

You ever seen The Hunger Games? Yes.

You always picture her? Just like, just picture her.

No, I've always admired.

Oh, admired.

I've never pictured myself like that. I'm not that cool, but like, oh, I can picture you like that. I think that's awesome. Awesome.

I love it.

Okay. So I don't see any questions. So we gave a few minutes there. So we're going to cut you loose early. It is your time to do this work. Sit down right now. We would have been here for at least another 15 minutes. Write this story, bridge this gap. If you haven't done these 2 exercises already, make sure you get those 2 exercises done first. Who are you now? Who do you want to be? Bridge the gap, and we'll be back here tomorrow to talk about how to bring this more into a daily practice, which is going to be super important moving forward.

Absolutely. Great job showing up today. Get it done. It's going to be fun.

All right. So we love you. We believe in you. Keep rocking and rolling, and we will see you bright and early tomorrow morning. Bye, everyone.

Hey, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. If you want to learn more about how you can coach with me directly, there's a link in the description you can check out. There's absolutely no pressure. The main thing is I wanted you to get value. From this episode here, but I hope you have a fantastic day, and I'll see you in the next one.