How To Stay Motivated During Quarantine, Self Isolation, And Social Distancing | PTSD TV

Hey everyone, Kayleen here, and welcome to PTSD TV. Today is Monday Motivation, and this episode of PTSD TV is sponsored by Broken to Unbreakable, which is my PTSD and CPTSD recovery program. So for those of you who don't know me, my name's Kayleen, and I am a CPTSD and PTSD recovery coach. I've recovered from my own CPTSD after suffering with it for more than 15 years, and now I help people all over the world make that same transformation. And this lovely man to my left here is—

Brad Schipke. I'm Kaelin's significant other. I also was there for every step of her recovery journey and went through my own PTSD recovery journey. And I'm excited to talk about today's episode, which is how to stay motivated during quarantine, self-isolation, social distancing, when you can't even pet the dogs while walking down your street.

Is that not a bummer?

That happened to us yesterday, which is very sad. And maybe some of you, a lot of you, like I was when I had PTSD, are experts at social distancing and self-isolation. And I know I was, so maybe it's not a big deal.

But, but we are—

for those who are having a hard time.

Yeah, and it is so important to, um, to be healthy in this time. But of course, as, as we go on and get— move into the future here, uh, we want to move away from that social isolation as, as a whole and as a person and, and integrate more into society. And even if you're an introvert, it can be in a little way or a big way. But as we heal, a really important thing to do. But for now, um, this might be a lot of introverts' dream come true. So what we have here today is how to stay motivated during this time period. And so for a lot of people, you know, there's a lot going on in the world. A lot of people are stuck at home, maybe not working, even if you weren't completely socially isolated before. And I know for me on my recovery journey, even when I was in like kind of some of my darkest moments, I kept myself socially isolated. Um, but there was still some contact. There were still some freedoms that, um, we still had that I could do things and we would go to the store, right? And that's how we would get ice cream, you know, at the time. And, um, so there, there was less social isolation than there even is now.

Yeah.

Um, so it's really important to stay motivated during these times. And this is a question that I've been getting a lot. with my own clients and people that I work with and just kind of in general about how to stay motivated kind of when you're cooped up all day and you really can't go out. And so, you know, even like I said before, if you were just kind of self-isolating on your own, you know, now it's, it's mandated for a lot of places and for a lot of people. And so you can't even make that quick run to the store or go to the beach or, or go for a walk or go, go whatever.

Yeah.

Um, so it's super, super important.

Yeah, and I kind of want to launch this episode off— launch it— I want to start this episode off with kind of like the basic premise of this whole thing about staying motivated and stuff is that your outputs are derived from your inputs. And right now there are a ton and a ton, a ton, a ton of really bad inputs, right? So you have to be constantly monitoring what's being input into your brain internally and externally. And the first, the very first thing to stay motivated is to cut out those negative inputs. to— and we talked about this on Saturday, our last episode— of cutting out the news. If you really need to check the news, well, we— I mean, in this time you kind of really need to check the news. Check it once per day and just get like the bulleted list of like what needs to be done, and then you're not constantly putting yourself in front of it. So that's the first thing I want to say is like just off the bat, if you're being like bombarded with all this negative news, it's going to be really hard to stay motivated.

Mm-hmm.

If you're just allowing your mind to kind of go crazy in all these dark places with what's going on right now, it's going to be hard to stay motivated. So you've got to regain control of that, cut out the negative stuff externally, and start getting control of the things internally.

Yeah, that's a really good point, really good point, and always something that we're recommending. And you'll hear us talk about it all the time is to stay away from negative inputs. And an input is anything that kind of comes into your physical space or your mental space. So thoughts are inputs. News is an input. People are inputs. Your environment is inputs. And an output is basically how you feel, right? What, what that makes you feel or what that makes you do. And so news is such a negative input. It comes into your physical and your mental space and it makes you stressed. It makes you worry. It makes you not take action on the things that you might need to or want to take action on. So that's a really good point.

Yeah. So always be aware of how things are making you feel and then cut them out if they're bad. Yeah.

As much as you can.

Yeah.

And today we wanna talk about motivation 'cause it is our Monday motivation episode. We're getting back into the swing of things here. And the first thing we wanna talk about, we've talked about in other episodes before, but now more than ever, it's really important to have some semblance of a routine. And we actually talked about this on our episode on Saturday that we just did a few days ago. And that episode was all about this pandemic and everything that's going on and how to keep yourself mentally healthy. And so the first point that we wanna bring up in regards to how to stay motivated during this quarantine, this isolation time, is have a routine. It's really important to have boundaries on your day in some regard.

Yeah.

And when you're creating that routine, you always want to set yourself up for success the next day. So we do something called a PTT, which is a Plan Tomorrow Today. It's something, like I said, that we've talked about on other episodes before. So if you've been with us for a while, you know this, or you might already be doing this because it's a recommendation. Or you're— if you're listening and you're a client, you are already doing this in your Unbreakable Journal. So it's really, really powerful. And planning tomorrow today, you know, you want to do it the night before and it sets you up for success that next day. And when you plan the night before, basically what you do in your brain is your brain is going through the day before it even happens. And that's really important because your brain is going through the motions. So then as you get to that next day, it will be even easier to actually take action on.

Yeah, this is huge. We both do this. And when we mess this up, when we miss this, Our days are all hectic, and like especially when you have PTSD, we still did this on the recovery tools that we want to do, the things we wanted to work on and heal on, and and everything that we want to do. But we always did it the night before, and we do it for our whole day as well. You know, so from the moment that we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, we know exactly what we're doing, even if it's just like a general block. So like. I guess, for example, right now, in our morning, we have a morning routine that we go through, which is a very structured sequence. And then our workday is pretty structured from 7:00 to 6:00 PM. And then from 6:00 PM to like 8:00, 8:30 is what we call our squad time, our time together where we just kind of hang out and we connect and stuff. And we usually read or try to watch a positive movie. But we know exactly what our day is going to look like. So when your bed hits the pillow, or when my head hits my pillow, I think about what am I doing the next day and I run it through in my mind and then it kind of just flows seamlessly. And then when you have that plan, it's like you don't have to fight, you don't have to wonder, you don't have to make decisions about what you want to do, and you don't have to worry about being motivated. You just follow what you already laid out and it's really easy because it's already in your head and you already kind of visualized your way through it the night before. So what you need to do is just keep a— if you don't have the Unbreakable Planner, if you're not part of Kayleen's program, just use a blank notebook, blank piece of paper, and write down what you're going to do the next day.

And it's super, super powerful. Excuse me. Don't underrate it because it is something that, like Brad said, we did when we were on our own recovery journey. It's something we still do because we want to get the most out of our days. And it's something that, like Brad said, it's gonna, it's gonna leave you with less resistance in the day, especially when all these days can seem to like blend together. It's really important to schedule what time you're, you know, even if you're just playing the guitar, even if you're just doing yoga, if you're just reading, like if you are not necessarily working during this time, that's okay. Like it doesn't have to be this big, big, big to-do. Um, but it is really important that you plan and that you have some semblance of a routine to, to keep you moving. And moving is so, so important. But what we want to talk about before we talk more about moving and more about action is actually, you know, why you want to have that routine and what you want to be kind of like scheduling that around.

Yeah. So maybe this should have even come first.

It probably should have.

Because what do you set this routine around? What are you doing and why are you doing it? Right? That's the first question. So we should have said this first, which is, you know, what are your goals? What are you— what is your, um, what's the word? What's your purpose? What do you like? Where are you going in your life? What's your vision? You know, goals like short-term, medium-term, long-term, you know. And we were talking about this before the episode, and I was saying, you know, like something that really helped me was like, yes, I had the goal of full recovery from PTSD, but the thing that helped me like kind of get to that point and beyond was having a vision beyond that point. And for some people that can be really helpful. And Kayleen was saying that a lot of like her clients have trouble seeing beyond that point. So if all you can see is like full recovery or even like you're not even there yet, but you're just like pushing a little bit forward, a little bit forward at a time and be like, well, I can just, or just push yourself as far as you can go and try to go a little bit further. But having that goal, having a mission about where you're going in life is essential. And if I didn't have a purpose, if I didn't have my goals, if I didn't have my mission, I would be, I don't know, like the first 20 years of my life just wandering around doing nothing.

And this will be a little bit different for everyone because like Brad is saying, he's a very long-term motivated person and he loves thinking about the future. And we both do. And it's really important to think long-term, but for me personally, and I know for you a little bit on your journey, but I think more so for me and more so for a lot of people when we begin work together, it's like, that is so far out. Like, I can't think about goals past tomorrow. And so that's okay. And something that I always recommend to people is like, it's okay if you're just setting goals for tomorrow. Tomorrow I wanna be 1% better than today. Tomorrow I just wanna, you know, get outta bed for a few hours where I wasn't getting out of bed at all before. And so it's okay, depending on where you're at, you want to do what's best for you and for your life. And so you can either be kind of starting at that point where you're like, you can barely see past today, and that's okay. And so just set goals for tomorrow. And as you continually do that, and as you're consistent with that, over time you'll be able to think longer and longer term, and those goals and that purpose and that mission will reveal it itself to you as you continue on your journey. So it really— you're— there's a lot of people that kind of listen to the podcast and people at all different parts of their journey, people that have worked with me for a while, people that don't work with me, people that, uh, just started working with me. And it's really important, you know, anything that we say, we want you to— of course, action is the most important part of the recovery journey, but we want you to take it and we want you to apply it to your own life. So everyone's going to be a little bit different in that regard. But we want you to take the overarching theme, the overarching idea, and say, okay, how does this apply to me? And it's okay if it's, I just need to, you know, just focus on one day at a time. If that's where you're at, that's okay, and we encourage that. And you still want to do that and kind of be taking those steps day by day to move forward on them. So if you can't think a year, 2, 3, 5, 10 years out, that's okay. If you don't feel like you have a purpose and a mission for your life, that's okay. As you heal, as you go through your journey, as you Continue on in your life doing those day-by-day steps, eventually it will reveal itself to you.

Yeah, yeah. I think that is the perfect way to say it, really, because when I first started, I wasn't thinking about, you know, 3 years, 5 years down the road. I had to constantly set that intention of pushing myself a little bit further, a little bit further. You know, what is next? What is next? And I think it's important, you know, to To start where you are, absolutely. And take those little steps and focus on now and what you can do now and push it as far as you can go. And that's great, but always have the intention to push it a little farther. And like Kayleen said, it's going to reveal yourself, but it's also important to set that intention inside your mind to keep pushing that vision further and further and further ahead. Because if you don't have the intention, you're only going to be thinking one day ahead, one day ahead, one day ahead, and you're never going to be able to think long-term past that. And it's okay. Maybe it's like 1 day and then 2 days and then 3 days and then 4 days. I'm planning a week ahead. Okay, that's great. And then you keep pushing it further and further and you keep expanding your mind. You get more and more results from what you're doing and you can think further and further ahead. And then that's when you start pushing your goals farther and farther long-term, it's easier to get pulled. It's easier to get motivated Because you know the actions that you're doing today are attached to something bigger, something long-term. So it's always important to set that intention to think longer term because really what we were talking about this morning about motivation is like, how do we stay motivated? How did we stay motivated? Well, I said for me personally, it's like, well, I kept pushing that vision further and further ahead. So now it's like it's not even really an issue because, well, first of all, this has become Kind of like a habit. But also, I know what I'm doing right now so well is attached to this big mission. 5, 10, 20, 30 years down the road, I know kind of where I want to go. It's not an exact roadmap, but I have a vision and I have a destination where I want to go and where I want to end up. So everything that I'm doing today is attached to that long-term vision. Is it getting me closer to that? And I know that I want to get there. So it's not even like— I don't know. It's almost not even like motivation anymore. It's kind of like, it's just like, I'm being, this is something we talk about being pulled through the day, you know? So absolutely focus on where you are right now, because you can't do anything tomorrow. You can only do something right now and like focus on the process and focus on, you know, just working through things right now, but always have that intention to push it a little farther, even if it's just a day at a time further and further ahead.

And I think I love what you just said, and I think I just want to clarify on it. Like you said, it almost doesn't even feel like motivation. And what I think that you mean by that, because I feel this way too, then now that you just said that, is like in the beginning motivation felt like this high and it felt like this excitement and like, oh my gosh, I feel so motivated today, I feel so good today. And as you build that into a habit, that kind of becomes your mode of being. And so Brad's saying like we're, we're pulled through the day, meaning like we feel that motivation kind of all the time, and that has become our new mode of being. So the more kind of you, you get motivated and you keep yourself motivated, the more you kind of, you settle into that and you allow that motivation to kind of pull you through your life and that excitement to just pull you, and it kind of just becomes your mode of being.

Yeah. Yeah, and that happens as you heal as well. Because as most of you guys know, like this would happen to me. I'd get like super, super motivated, and then like I felt like I would like crush. I would crush myself back down because my beliefs and the way that I was thinking and everything. So just know like you don't have to be super motivated all the time. Do what you can focus. It's going to be hard. Sometimes you're going to have to. push yourself to do the things that you don't really want to do right now. But in the long term, that is going to pay back more than anything else.

And that's a good transition into the last point of action. Now, you don't need to be motivated to take action. You need to take action to feel motivated. And so our last point here is action. So we talked about, um, you know, goals and growth, and, and we want to focus on the future. And then we talked about planning tomorrow today and having a routine, especially in this time. And now we're talking about action. So action breeds motivation. This is something that we learned from someone that we look up to very dearly, who helped us through our kind of our own recovery journey and does a lot of motivation and more kind of like a business coach. But it's something that really stuck with us because when we were kind of at our lowest, what was really challenging was like, I don't feel motivated. I don't feel like doing the work. I don't feel like doing the healing. I don't feel like working on my mindset. I don't feel like doing any of that. I don't feel like going to my job, right? Um, and when this kind of saying was brought into our life, it literally changed everything for us, uh, because it's really true. Action breeds motivation. So you don't need to feel motivated to take action. You need to take action to feel motivated. And you can think of it like momentum, right? And so if, if you— if there's this really giant big like boulder in front of you And you know, you're gonna have to push with all of your might to kind of move that boulder and to get that boulder rolling. We'll say it's a ball, right? And you're gonna have to use a tremendous amount of effort at first to get that ball rolling. But once you get it rolling, the effort that it takes to keep it going is less and less and less and less and less. And so action breeds that motivation. You don't need to feel motivated to get that ball rolling. You need to take action and that will build on itself.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's so simple, profound, but the biggest thing that has changed our life and our recovery has been action. Doing the things that we did not want to do in the moment, but we knew that we needed to do to get to where we want to go.

Right. And if you're— sorry, did I cut you off?

Yeah, it's okay though.

And if you're feeling— if you're really feeling unmotivated, I have a challenge for you and kind of an experiment for you. And if you're like, well, yeah, well, I don't want to take action and I'm not going to take action, I challenge you to take action over the next, we'll say, 3 to 5 hours and write a list. And they can be really little things of like do the dishes, fold the laundry, whatever it is, really small little tasks. Write them on a to-do list and do them as relaxed but also as quickly as you can and accomplish each of them. And when you're done with that list, again, for the next 3 hours, whatever it is, reflect and see how you feel. Because the more you take action, even if it's just brush your teeth, take a shower, do your hair, get dressed, fold the laundry, um, you know, do the dishes in the kitchen, make breakfast, clean up from breakfast— all those little things are what are going to add to that motivation and add to that momentum. So I challenge you, if you, if you're someone that's like, I'm not— I don't want to take action, I mean, you're here, you're taking action, and that is actually a really good start. So kudos on that and congrats on that. And I want you to keep it going and really see how this can change your life. And this is how you really want to start the day, which is why it's really important to plan tomorrow today, is with some sort of list. And it can be really small at first. Like Brad said, now our list looks a lot different because we've healed and we've recovered and we don't need the things like brush your teeth, take a shower on that list to build the motivation and the momentum. But, but you might need that, and that is okay. So write that list And just take action on those things. And I promise you, just see how you feel at the end of the list.

Yeah. And we did have those things on our list at some point. We did. Yeah. Because we needed that structure and we needed that kind of focus on— because like when your mind's going crazy, you need that little— you almost need that little guidance of like, hey, just do this. Okay. Just do this. And like, you don't have to think, you don't have to get caught up in the thoughts. It's like you just follow step by step by step by step by step. And when you can do that, it's amazing. And I love that. Do it for an hour, do it for 2 hours, do it for 3 hours, whatever. Just make a list, get it done. You're going to feel amazing. I don't care how you feel. Just do it. Just be relaxed. Be relaxed. Yeah.

See if you can take something we called relaxed action. So see if you can get yourself to just kind of go through the motions and relax as much as you can and do it and try not to like force yourself to do it. Um, although there's going to be a little effort involved. So it's, it's a little bit of a balancing act in regards to that.

Yeah. And do your best to stay present. Also try to like bring yourself when you're doing the task to like immerse yourself into the activity that you're doing, the tasks that you're doing. And that will also act like a grounding exercise as well, you know, take you out of your mind and into the present moment. And I mean, that's really all grounding exercises is like being fully present in the moment. So make a list. Don't stop until you get it done. Do it as fast as you can, but also as relaxed as you can. And be present. That'd be awesome. And there's one last thing that I wanted to bring up.

Okay.

What are some examples of things that people could plan into their day? Because I don't think we give many examples on like what people can be doing. Like, what if you're at home, you're like, well, I don't know what to do. I can just— I'll just watch Netflix all day. Like, what are some things that people should be putting into their PTT, their to-do list the night before to kind of push the needle forward.

In regards to recovery?

Yeah. Yeah. Which is, by the way, it should be your number one goal.

Definitely.

Um, and it's your biggest opportunity right now.

It is a great opportunity, especially for those of you who, uh, obviously can't be places and can't go places and don't have the commute and, uh, different things like that. So In regards to recovery, you know, there's, there's a training that I do on what I call the pillars of recovery, and they're really the only 3 things that you need to focus on in order to reach full recovery. And so some things that you want to kind of add into your day are— and it really should be your number one focus. I mean, yeah, when you heal PTSD— and I won't really do a visual because I know this is primarily for the podcast— but, uh, you think, think of PTSD as the core Right, as the, the root of something. And if you think of the root of a tree, that's what keeps the tree in the ground. And, and the, the branches of the tree and the branches of the branches, that's your relationship and your finances and your relationship with your kids and your sleep problems. All of that are the branches of the tree. Um, so every problem that you have in your life, whether it's financial or holding a job or having job security, creating a business having a great family, all of those are branches and the root is the PTSD. So all of the problems that you have in your life, most if not all, will go away when you heal your PTSD, or you'll have the tools, skills, and knowledge to solve them very quickly and very easily. So PTSD really should be a focus in your life. And a lot of people I see like just kind of dabble in their PTSD recovery and it takes them decades to, to solve if they ever do it. And you really need to commit to it because even if it took you, let's say it took you 6 months and that's what you did full-time for 6 months, but then you never had to deal with it again. Think about that long-term cost. What does that really mean? Like that 6 months for the next 40, 50 years, for some of you 70 years of your life is absolutely nothing. So you really want to think about how much time are you actually spending on this thing? Are you spending 1 hour a week on this? That's not enough. Like, it is the core, it is the epicenter of every problem in your life. And I promise you, and I don't like to do this 'cause I don't like to brag, I promise you, when you heal PTSD, your life is amazing, okay? It is so much fun, it is so great. Your relationships are strong, they're deep. Your relationship with yourself, your self-confidence, your self-talk, the way you feel about just everything in the world is absolutely amazing. So it is really, it really should be a priority. You can heal your PTSD. And you can do it from home. And right now I'm actually running a mini series very specifically about this. And this is, this is the last day, or it comes offline tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

So we started it just about a week ago. I know, I know many of you have seen it already. Um, but I, I talk about in the mini series, the only 3 things that you need to focus on. And I go through, you know, the obstacles that you'll face or the 4 biggest obstacles that keep people from focusing on those things. And what I, what I encourage you all to do right now, now you've already watched this or you've listened to this, and that is awesome. I want you to go and I want you to watch that training. And there are, there are 4 videos in that mini-series. They're each about an hour long. So I want you to kind of think about that commitment, but I want to make sure that you do it by the end of Tuesday night, East Coast time. Okay. Because that's when they're going to go offline for good. And I want you to think about just what that 4 hours will be for potentially the rest of your life. Okay. And so this is a journey that it takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of effort upfront, But the rewards are so bountiful, I literally can't even explain it. I don't have the words, I don't have the vocabulary to explain how good it is after PTSD. So that's what I want you to do. I don't wanna go too, too far into it, but it's a great series and it's all about how to heal PTSD from home. So like I said, there's 4 videos. I wanna make sure that you get to them before tomorrow when they come offline. So really take the time, take this opportunity of being home, of being isolated, uh, and, and having internet connection, of course, to, to watch those videos and figure out exactly what you need to focus on and exactly what you need to do to heal from home and, and to use this as an opportunity. And I want you to commit to yourself because you deserve this. And even if you don't believe you deserve this, I promise you do. And I believe in you, and Brad believes in you, and, and Shiloh believes in you. We're all here and we all believe in you, and you deserve this. So I want you to make this commitment to yourself and have this be Kind of a new beginning for you. Have this be an opportunity for you to say, you know what, I'm going to take these few hours and I'm going to watch these few trainings and I'm going to take action on them and I'm going to really commit to this. I'm going to really put the time into this because I really want you to think about the time you've been putting into healing. And I guarantee for many, many of you, it's, it's barely a few hours a week. Maybe it's the podcasts and that's it. And that's okay. And it's a good start. But we really want to get you healed. And if you really want to solve this problem and really all the problems in your life, you must, must do this. So that's my kind of challenge for you.

I think that's great.

Is that a good answer?

No, I think that's great. I mean, um, Kayleen spent— you spent like a full day on each, each one of these episodes. Probably more than a day. Yeah, like, like from, from 6 o'clock to 6 o'clock planning, writing, getting all the visuals because she does it in person with the whiteboard and stuff. And it's very like step by step. Like what we're doing right now is kind of just like a talk show, like off the cuff, we're having a conversation, but that is very like methodical step by step of what you need to do. So I would definitely recommend going to check it out.

And we do the whole training right here in the living room. So if you can't see, if you're just listening, We're also stuck at home, uh, and we're sitting on our couch and we, we've never done a training from home. We've never done anything like that. We thought it was cool to do the theme of healing from home and doing a mini series. We've never done anything like that, anything like this. This is all so new to us. So, uh, it was really exciting. It was really fun. It was definitely a challenge. Like Brad said, it literally took me a day, um, for each video, if not longer, because we have limited resources. So we had a lot, a lot of fun with it. So I encourage you to do that and The link will be below in the description, or you can go to overcomingptsd.info/mini-series. So overcomingptsd.info/mini-series, and you can check that out and you can learn how to heal your PTSD or CPTSD from home.

Yeah, that's great. I think that's a great way to leave off for this episode. And, um, I think that's great. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Hope you guys enjoy the miniseries. And, uh, anything else you want to say, Kay?

That's it. Just remember that, you know, your life is important, and we believe that even if you don't believe that at this very moment. And healing your PTSD will dramatically change everything for you. I promise you that. And putting in the time is, is really nothing for the reward that you get. So I really want maybe to kind of drive that home even more Uh, as we go on here in the podcast and, and in, in all the content that we do. But it's really important to make that time investment now. It doesn't matter what it kind of costs, so to speak. You have to put the time in, and you're gonna have to put it in at some point. So you kind of might as well put it in like all up front.

Yeah.

Um, so you don't drag it on for years and decades. Sometimes you have to put that time into it. at some point, and you're gonna, you're gonna have to do it. So I encourage you to do it. I want you to know we both believe in you from the very bottom of our hearts. We love you. We're here for you. We're here for you during this challenging time. And, uh, it's great to be back on the podcast. Thank you so much for joining us. If you, you know, if you like the podcast, I really encourage you to, to go and watch that miniseries right now. Make some time for it because it will be taken offline, uh, tomorrow night. So that's Tuesday night Eastern time. So make sure you get that in.

Yep.

I'm looking forward to seeing you in the miniseries. I think you'll really, really like it. And, um, that's all I have for you, and we'll see you all tomorrow.

Yeah, we'll see you guys tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed the episode.

All right, bye-bye.