PTSD MYTH #3: "My alphabet soup makes it impossible to heal my PTSD"

Hey everyone, Kayleen here, and welcome to PTSD TV. Today is the 3rd day of our myth marathon, and today's episode of PTSD TV is sponsored by Broken to Unbreakable, which is my PTSD and CPTSD recovery program. So for those of you who don't know me, my name is Kayleen. I suffered with CPTSD for more than 15 years and now no longer do. And what I do now is I'm a recovery coach, and I help people all over the world recover from their own PTSD and CPTSD. And this lovely man to my left here is— Brad Schipke.

Brad Schipke. I'm Kayleen's significant other, and I'm very happy to be here. I went through my own PTSD recovery journey and was there for Kayleen's as well. So you get 2 awesome, unique perspectives. And I love this whole myth marathon, but this episode is a very good one. I love every episode that we do. We love to do it. But this is a really good one. I have some good points for this one.

So today we are talking about another myth. This is our 3rd myth that we're talking about. And the myth is my alphabet soup Makes it impossible for me to fully recover. So when we say alphabet soup, that's kind of a term that we use to describe different sorts of labels and things. So so nowadays there's a lot of acronyms for different things, and you have of course PTSD, right? That there's some letters in in alphabet soup, or you have CPTSD, or you have BPD, or you have GAD, GAD, ADD, all these.

D? AC/DC.

Uh, so you have all these labels, um, that can get put on you. So the myth really is my blank, and you insert kind of whatever your alphabet soup is, makes it impossible for me to fully recover. So I work with a lot of people that have all sorts of things going on. That's PTSD, PNES, like Brad was talking about, GAD. Sometimes I can't— I'm dyslexic, so it's very hard for me to Get those letters in the right order. So, so kind of insert what you will when we, when we say alphabet soup. But the, the basic idea being your other, other ailments, other things that are going on in your life make it impossible for you to recover from your PTSD or your CPTSD.

Yeah, and some people feel like they have like a collection of these labels and then they just get weighed down over time because you go to this one person, they say you have this, this, this, Or maybe just this. And then you go to somebody else, they say you have this. And you'd be like, oh, I looked online and I have all these same things of this. And then you're like, I have no clue what to do. And then looking online how to get help for this and how to get help for my BPD, my GAD, my PTSD. And I have no idea what direction to go in or what to do. And I'm having a really hard time getting guidance even from the people who I'm looking guidance from.

Yeah, and it's, it's really easy to get distracted. And the reason why this is so challenging for people is, you know, mental health is a really new field still, relatively. And when it comes to diagnosing something that is internal, clinicians and people who are trying to help you diagnose something are relying basically on your experiences, and they're relying on essentially your word, right? They're relying on you telling them and being able to verbalize the things that are going on, and then they're interpreting them and trying to kind of fit you into these labels. And, and the labels, you know, I don't want to speak too, too negatively about them, but we, we will just for a second. Um, but the labels can be really helpful because they give you an idea of, okay, what is it that I'm facing? Okay, other people are facing this too. Now I can find support groups. Now I can find this, that, and the other thing. But they can be really distracting and they can, for some people, actually become part of your identity. And I see a lot of people, you know, go and try to get help. And PTSD is one of the most misdiagnosed things in the field of mental health. You could go— and this is kind of the issue with mental health is these internal diagnoses— because you could go to 3 different clinicians and explain that you're experiencing the same thing, but they could diagnose you with 3 different things. And that's what makes it tricky. It's not an x-ray and a broken bone. It's, it's a trickier thing than that. And so with a label, again, it gives you an idea. Like, you're here, you're watching or listening to a podcast called PTSD TV. You either maybe have that label officially or unofficially, or you feel like you're in the right place because your past negatively affects your present. And, and if so, you are. You don't have to be labeled to be here. You don't have to be diagnosed to be here. Um, but sometimes what happens is people get these labels, they get this label of PTSD, and, you know, then they start on the search to, you know, heal their PTSD. But then They go back and— or they go to a different clinician. Maybe they move and they switch doctors. And then they get a label of BPD. So then they kind of drop everything. They stop their search for healing from PTSD and they start a search of healing from BPD. And then maybe they move again or their clinician changes or their insurance changes and they get a different diagnosis. And this can go on for years and decades. And so part of the problem with this isn't necessarily that you have all these things going on because you might not even have all those things going on in the first place. And I'm not trying to dismiss or invalidate anything that's going on. But part of the issue is that you're confused and you don't even know where to start.

Yeah. And one of the worst parts about all of this, and this can happen with someone who just has PTSD, is that so much time goes by where you're focusing on the diagnosis or the different diagnoses that you then— Kayleen mentioned this— you then become identified with that, and then you become someone who has PTSD. someone who has BPD and GAD and all these things. And then it becomes part of who you are. It becomes part of your belief system. I believe that I am a person who has this, right?

Yeah.

And then when you try to change that, your beliefs break you back down and bring you back to this, this spot where you believe that you're this broken person. And that's just not true. And that's a really, really dangerous place to be. Um, and really, All these diagnoses, they're really like they're they're good for helping clinicians and doctors whatever identify clusters of symptoms and you know put a label on it so they know and they can communicate you know different solutions for this particular labeled these symptoms or whatever. But for you, as for someone who's going through it, it doesn't really matter. It helps you. In one way, that helps you identify the symptoms that you're going through. It helps you identify the problem. But most of the time, we become obsessed with the label itself, right? We're only looking at the label. We're not looking behind it. And then we get stuck, kind of like trying to solve this phantom problem that, you know, like exists. It's a label, right? I'm trying to heal my PTSD, but what, like, what's beyond that? So I honestly, I don't like labels at all. And I don't think that— I think they're helpful to a small degree, but then beyond that point, I'd almost say like just forget about it and just focus on the problem because that's all that matters anyways. It doesn't matter if you have PTSD, BPD, any of these other things. It's like, what's the problem? What's the problem that you're trying to solve? Focus on solving the problem, not on the label. Right? And again, I'm not trying to invalidate any of this, anything that you're going through, but the thing that's going to help you is identifying the problem and finding a solution for that problem. So the 3 things that I came up with were for you to ask yourself. So these are kind of just very simple 3 steps. Kayleen teaches it in her program in kind of a more— it's a much more detailed way, but I can simplify it down for you. The first thing you ask yourself is, what's the problem? So stop focusing on the labels, remove all of that noise and all of that distortion from your mind, and just ask yourself, what's the problem? What's the thing that I'm going through? What's the problem I'm facing right now? 2, why do I have that problem? And keep asking why until you find the root cause of that problem. And then 3, how can I fix it? And that's a possible solution for that problem. And if you do that enough times, And you keep finding more and more solutions and you keep repeating that cycle over and over again. So when you find a solution, you test it out and it doesn't work. And you ask, okay, what was the problem? Why didn't that work? And you go back down and you find the root cause, you find another solution and you keep going and going. If you want to summarize our recovery, there it is in 3 steps, honestly.

Yeah.

And then you just keep going through that over and over and over and over and over and trying different things. And. You get there, but the biggest point is to take the focus off of identifying what the or take the focus off your label and put it onto identifying the problem. Yeah, and that's my that's my that's my advice. That's the thing that I kind of wrote down before this. I'm like, I I personally again, I I think labels are helpful to a small degree for the person who's going through it because they can help. identify them, help them identify the symptoms that they're going through, which is the problem, right? So if someone's like, oh, people with PTSD often experience flashbacks and nightmares and anxiety and these intrusive memories and then this anger, and you're like, oh, wow, I'm angry all the time. I didn't know that was one of my symptoms. I didn't know that was related to what I was going through. And then now I can work on my anger. Why am I having the anger? Oh, this could be a possible solution for this anger.

Mm-hmm. And, uh, what we always talk about around here, and you'll hear us talk about it a lot on the podcast, is like, you're in the right place. Well, a label or no label, you're in the right place if your past negatively affects your present. So, you know, you're, you're in the right place by, by thinking that you're in the right place, by showing up to a podcast, by, by listening to the trainings, by saying like, just either consciously or subconsciously, you're saying like, I— this is something that relates to me or resonates with me. And so if anything that we say like really resonates with you, you're in the right place. And I just want to, for the people with labels, talk about a few different things. Uh, one is like, if you have multiple labels, that's okay. And like Brad said, we're not trying to invalidate anything that you're going through. Um, but I will just tell you from experience with, uh, myself and experience working with people with a lot of different labels, if you heal PTSD, if you can kind of drill down and focus on healing PTSD or CPTSD, whatever, the, the fact that your past negatively affects your present, if you can heal that all of the other things that you're dealing with sometimes will go away, literally melt away, but will get so monumentally easy for you because of the skills you develop on the recovery journey, but because of the fact that the PTSD, the, the negative past affecting the present, isn't getting in the way. It's not interfering with you being able to live your life or have the relationship or, um, be calm or, or, or any, anything that you're dealing with. And so that is just something I wanted to mention. Like, the PTSD is kind of always at the core, and if you can heal that, which we know it's possible to heal, if you can heal that, all— everything else is just gonna kind of sometimes completely go away with that, with the healing of that, but get incredibly easy because of the skills that you have because you've healed from PTSD. Does that make sense? Did that come across? Oh yeah.

Okay. And then to me it did.

The other thing I just wanted to mention in regards to labels is because we— you briefly mentioned it and I briefly mentioned it in regards to like identifying with labels. Now labels are the reason that we're able to be here right now because, you know, we run a podcast called PTSD TV. We wouldn't be able to speak to you, to speak to the right people without that label. So it's important. And for some people it can feel like a weight off because it says, oh, okay, that's what I'm dealing with. Okay, other people deal with this and now I can seek solutions. But it's really important to kind of focus on the solution. So again, you're, you're already here, you're already listening to PTSD TV, you're already kind of involved in this niche, so to speak. So, so my advice to you is to stay focused on the PTSD because the skills that you learn recovering from PTSD because of PTSD will serve you in all those other areas by association.

Yeah.

And then the last thing I want to talk about in regards to identifying with labels, because I see it a lot, I see it just a ton, is to be careful about a label becoming your identity. And so sometimes what happens with people is, again, they get a label for PTSD and they are, you know, seeking solutions for PTSD, and then they get a different label for BPD and now they're seeking solutions with, uh, for that. But what I see a lot, because we run a support group on Facebook, is, you know, as someone with PTSD, CPTSD, BPD, GAD. And this is why we call it alphabet soup, because some people kind of almost collect things like that. And if you're someone and you're kind of identifying with, yeah, I do have a lot of letters, and if you ever find yourself saying, as someone with, and then fill in the blank— as someone with PTSD, as someone with CPTSD, as someone with BPD, as someone with fibromyalgia, as someone with— you, you're, you're really dangerously close to That label becoming part of your identity, and when something like that becomes part of your identity, it gets really challenging to separate as you heal. So if if I'm you know as someone with PTSD, you know what what the heck am I going to do when I get to my healing journey and I get to the part where okay well I I no longer have PTSD because I've healed PTSD now I can no longer say as someone with PTSD and it's it can be really challenging for people to separate that and it's really important that you do separate that you know you don't say as someone with a common cold, as someone with a head cold, as someone with a, a broken forearm. You know, you don't identify with those things because they're things that heal, and they're things that either with time or with treatment, you kind of, you overcome, right? You heal your broken forearm and you no longer— they're not part of your identity, right? So I told a story the other day on the podcast where we were little kids and my brother ran me over with his bike, and then hit a tree and we both broke our forearm. And I, I, it's when I introduce myself, I don't say as someone with a broken forearm because that was so long ago and I healed from it and I almost never think about it. I just actually remembered it very recently when I was doing the miniseries training because I was, I was thinking of ways to explain different things and I just remembered that story and I thought it was kind of a funny story that he broke my forearm. And so, you know, just because I had PTSD for all those years, I don't introduce myself as someone with PTSD, as someone with CPTSD, because I've healed from it. And I also don't introduce myself as someone who's healed from PTSD, as someone who coaches people through PTSD, because that's not my identity. My identity is very different than my profession, and it's very different from the things and the experiences that I've had. You want to remember that you're this like Amazing emotional spiritual being. You're not this label. You're not this thing that someone made up. You're not these letters. You're not this alphabet soup that someone has kind of assigned to you.

That is brilliant.

So that's what I have.

I love that. I love that you said you don't identify with the common cold. I'm not somebody— you don't introduce yourself as somebody who has the common cold.

Yeah.

I can't go to this party. Can't anyways, but legally in this time.

But, but labels— Anywho, be careful. Just be careful because again, it can, it can be an experience that takes a weight off, but it can be an experience that, that is formative and that a lot of people lean into. Sometimes I see people, they come to me and they say, okay, I have PTSD, or they come to me and they say, I have, I have BPD, and and they lean into it so hard that as they get each new diagnosis, they become that person.

Yeah.

And, and they almost feed it. And again, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way because it's something that your brain does. It's something that your brain and your body does because it wants you to, to feel like you belong, because it wants you to feel as part of that label. But you can feed into that. So once you get a diagnosis, and I see this all the time in the support group, Someone gets a diagnosis and then sometimes things get way worse for them, and they really lean into that diagnosis hard. And sometimes they lean into it so hard that they say, well, as someone with PTSD, I know I'll never recover. And they, they adopt these very dangerous old beliefs or these myths that we're talking about all week here, um, that stop them in their tracks because they say, you know, maybe they're hopeful and they go to the doctor and they say, hey, I'm experiencing these things. And the doctor says Oh, it sounds like PTSD. And then they, they look up, you know, a little bit about PTSD, they get some misinformation, and they say, oh well, people never recover from PTSD. And they lean into that so hard that they stop seeking solutions.

Yeah. And the real, the real problem is that, um, it does, it does cycle out of control. And like I said before, it becomes part of your belief system. And if you listen to our podcast yesterday, we talked about that belief system and why all these myths are dangerous. Um, this one particularly because it involves your identity, but any of these issues can become part of who you believe you are, right? Um, and having that negative or that, that, that, um, that false belief about yourself that you're someone with PTSD, you're this broken person, that's going to cause you to take little action, get no results on healing. It's going to reinforce that belief that I'm broken. And then you're gonna take less and less action, getting less and less results on your healing, and then reinforcing that belief further and further. It's a feedback loop. So whichever way you feed that, you're either gonna spiral way the hell down or you're gonna freaking launch to the moon. And the trick is to switch that.

Yeah, yeah, that's— it's really important. And that's why we're covering all these myths, because they are so important. And there are things we see time and time again in the PTSD community, in that support group that we run. Yeah, um, we run— well, we run 2 support groups. One is specifically for people that we work with, and I think I just want to make that distinction. And, and the other one is, it's a private support group, but there's tens of thousands of people.

I think like 20,000 people.

There's like 20,000 people in it. And so that's the group that I'm referring to, the, the support group that we personally work with, and I personally coach the people in. We, we work on the beliefs, and, and it's, it's a very different culture and a very different vibe. So that's, we'll say, like the, the new world belief on PTSD is, is that support group that is specific to people that I coach and people in Broken to Unbreakable. And the old world beliefs is that giant support group of like 20,000 people. And that's where we see this again and again. And those are the people that get stuck. So that's why we wanted to cover it in the podcast.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Cool. Well, that is what I have. Do you have any— do you have any final words?

I have one— not one final word, but I have final sentences. Um, right now, Kaylee and I are doing, um, free PTSD consultations for anybody, any of you guys who are listening, um, where we're going to help you, you know, kind of identify where you are right now in your recovery journey, identify where you want to go, really like crystallize those things and kind of bridge that gap and help you come up with a plan to get there. So if you're interested in talking to one of us, um, and seeing if we can actually help you, um, feel free to, you know, schedule a call with us. You can do that at overcomingptsd.info/call. Um, it's just C-A-L-L, and, um, you'll be able to schedule time with us. And we'll also put the link in the description, um, below this video/podcast, and go check it out.

Yeah, and that's a— it's a great consultation. Um, sometimes we call it— you'll hear us refer to it as a few different things, but like a clarity consultation. And Brad was talking about like, we help you identify where you are now, like where you are at this moment, and then where you want to go, and try to help you bridge the the gap between that. And we don't, we don't do them all the time. Sometimes we, we do them for a couple weeks at a time. Sometimes we do it for a couple months at a time. But we do them on and off because of course it's such a huge time commitment for us to do them. But every time that we do them, the feedback I always get from being on the phone with people is, is amazing because for a lot of people it's the first time they say, where am I and where do I want to go? Like What— how is this affecting my life right now? And, and where do I want to end up? And then how do I actually bridge that gap? So that's why we call it clarity, because we get clarity on where you are, we get clarity on where you want to go, and then we, we help you bridge the gap between that and kind of take that step between where you are now and getting to where you want to go. So it's, it's, it's a really cool consultation, um, because it's— again, for a lot of people, it's, it's very eye-opening. And it's really cool just to, to talk to someone, of course, who's been there, to talk to one of us, and to— for— we're gonna help— we, we help prompt you to get that clarity. So it's not just like a convers— it's not just like if you met us on the street, we wouldn't have a conversation like that. It's very specific to your needs and your goals and your life and where you are now and where you want to go. So it's a, it's a cool experience, and we don't do it all the time, so make sure you If that's something that you're interested in, you check the calendar, you click that calendar below, and we look forward to talking with you.

Yeah, yeah. So we hope to talk to you in the future, and we'll see you in the next episode.

Yeah, we will see you in the next— you don't have a final word? One final word?

Love.

Okay, everyone, love you all.

Believe in you all. How do you pick one final word?

Bye. Oh, bye everyone.

I wanted to be a little bit more emotional than that, or a little more meaningful. If I had one final word, I wouldn't want it to be bye.

You want it to be love?

I, I don't know.

All right, well, we'll think about it for next time.

All right.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye.