Ready! Go! Set! | PTSD Motivation: PTSD TV

Hey everyone, welcome to PTSD TV. Today is Monday Motivation, and today we are talking about ready, go, set. So this episode of PTSD is sponsored by Broken to Unbreakable, which is my PTSD and CPTSD recovery program. So I help people recover from their own PTSD and CPTSD after I recovered from my own CPTSD after having it for over 15 years. So for those of you who don't know me, my name is Kayleen And this lovely man to my right is Brad Schipke.

I am her significant other, and I also had PTSD and fully recovered from it as well. And I was there for every step of her recovery journey, Kayleen's recovery journey as well.

And kind of the reason that we do this show, and I, I usually like to start out with this, is because when we were still struggling, we didn't have anything like this, right? And so we're here to, to give you hope, to give you action, to spread the belief that it is possible to fully recover from this. This is not a life sentence. You don't have to live with it forever. You know, no matter how long you've been suffering or what your situation kind of is or was, you can recover from this. And that's kind of what we're here to tell you, to start to help you with that belief. Because so many people spread the opposite, right? And tell you that this is your new normal and you have to cope forever.

Mm-hmm.

And we got told those things a lot, and we're, we're so thankful that we were able to fight through that and Not, um, not listen to those things. So, so that's what we're here to do. We're here to kind of reach out a helping hand. We've been on that dark path. It almost—I mean, it did essentially ruin our relationship. It every aspect of our life was just kind of completely in ruin because of what we were going through, and we want to try to help you and save you from that pain. So for those of you who work with me one on one, you know kind of what I'm talking about, and you know a lot more about my mission. But, you know, my mission is to help everyone suffering with PTSD, to help them build that belief and see PTSD that, you know, it is possible to recover. It is possible to do this. There is a path to healing. And I think— I don't know, I think that's kind of a good way to start.

Yeah, that's a great way to start because— the greatest way to start because that is such an ingrained belief when you have PTSD or so. You feel like you're beaten down every day, day after day after day after day. So even if you're not surrounded by people who are telling you it's impossible, it's very likely that you're telling yourself that it's impossible. So it's really important that you get these positive inputs and us telling you that it is possible, being in front of people who have done it, right? And, you know, getting these positive inputs because that is so important to get the right references and to keep getting the right references and keep getting that in your brain.

In your brain.

Over and over and over again because that like repetition of getting like the positive inputs is so, so important because we often forget. It's like we could tell you once and be like, yeah man, it's not impossible, we've done it, we can give you thousands of other like cases that have done it. But if you don't constantly, um, keep yourself in front of those positive references that you can do this, and you don't keep telling yourself that you can do this, the— that negative thought and like just the rest of society is just going to infect your mind and just kind of take over again. So yeah.

And I talk about a lot because negative weighs 7 times heavier than a positive, right? So like For every time you hear that it is possible to recover from PTSD, you know, if you if you also hear that no, this is your new normal and you have to cope forever, that's seven times heavier, right? So that's the thing that you're taking home with you. That's the thing that is weighing on your mind, and that's the the thing that kind of stands out, right? You kind of forget about the positive stuff, and you know we're like that for a reason, right? There's a primal reason that we're like that, and so you know we don't you know we can survive in the savanna or wherever you know we lived in the fight or flight. Like it makes a lot of sense. that, you know, we would really pay attention to, you know, lions and tigers and bears. Oh my. Right. So, you know, it makes sense. But also now we live in this world that is, is much, much different than that. And, you know, so now we're dealing with a whole mental world, right? So like back then it was more just like a physical world, um, at least in terms of like danger. But these days, you know, there's a lot of, there's a lot of stuff going on inside there that is really dangerous. One of those being those thoughts, right? And, and those beliefs. And yeah, a lot, a lot about that. And so that's, that's a great way to start. And really important to remember that you have to, you have to intentionally feed yourself with, with positivity and with encouragement and love and, and hands reaching out.

Yeah, yeah. Because remember this one rule, we're gonna do a whole episode on this that we've talked about in the past. Your inputs create your outputs. But remember that one rule of life, your inputs create your outputs. Whatever you input into your life is what you're gonna Output. So many people try to, you know, input cheeseburgers and soda and ice cream over and over again and expect to have this energetic, fulfilled, focused life and stuff like that. And that's just like a, um, I guess an example. But like, if you're inputting all this negative stuff into your mind, then what do you think is going to come out of your mind?

Right? Right.

So you have to really think about it that way. What's like, where, where is everything coming in? And sometimes your thoughts are your own inputs, right? So you have to control your own thoughts.

To get to that point, but no, that's a good point. I think, and and and putting those inputs of like cheeseburgers and sodas and and television and never exercising and expecting to wake up and like look like a superhero or look like well look like I won't spoil Avengers, but Avengers Endgame Avengers Endgame and look like a superhero amazing movie. So that that's a really good point, and so that's a really good yeah that's a really for those of you who've seen it you'll get that yeah that's that's Actually hilarious. So it's a really good thing to, to recognize. And I think something that like oftentimes we see in cinema is like, you know, you can eat whatever you want and like still be this like jacked superhero. But like the truth is that like Zac Efron doesn't eat pizza. Like he's not allowed to have pizza if he wants to look like that, you know. So, so that, that's important. And like take that and apply that to your, your, your mental world and start to become aware of the, the inputs in your life.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, so the, the name of the episode today is called Ready, Go, Set.

Ready, Go, Set.

Is that the wrong order, Kay?

Is that the wrong— is that the wrong order? Is that the wrong order, Kay? I don't know.

No, that is the right order. Um, for those of you who don't know, I'm actually dyslexic, so it could be the wrong order, but it's actually not the wrong order. So today we're talking about Ready, Go, Set, and why we're talking about Ready, Go, Set instead of Ready, Set, Go is really, really important. So ready, go, set is a really good motto that we like to live our life by. And basically what it means is like, okay, like you have somewhat of a foundation for like what you want to do and where you want to go. So that's your ready. Okay. So like I'm 60%, like this is, this is, might be the path. And then your go is just like, okay, I'm going to go down this path and like, We're gonna go at maybe as fast as we can, but we're gonna go at a good clip down this path. And at some point we're gonna figure out if it was right or not, right? So you're like 60% ready, you go down this path, you start going, and then at some point you set, right? And you adjust and you're like, oh wait, this is the right path. Or like, oh wait, no, this is the wrong path.

Right.

So, right, you know, that is just like a way to look at life in general, a way to look at business, a way to look at your recovery is just like, you're never gonna be 100% ready, like, for anything ever, ever, right? So yeah, no matter what it is, like, you could always have studied more, you could always have, you know, been whatever, more physically active. Like, there's always those, like, could have, should have, would have things, right? So you're never going to be 100% ready for any journey. And so, you know, we talk about, like, like, this is something that we do in, in our personal lives, is like, we get like 60%, like, okay, I'm like 60% sure that this is the right path. And this is something I did on my healing journey because I didn't have a map. So I was like, okay, like this maybe would maybe work. And then it was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna go at it. I'm gonna put all my effort into it. I'm gonna go 100%. And that's somewhere along the line, I'm gonna, I'm gonna like pause and be like, is this right or not? And that's the set. So ready, go, set. And then you can adjust. And the best part about that is like if you go 100 miles an hour in one direction, You're either gonna be really far ahead because you chose the right direction, or you're gonna know it's the wrong direction really soon. So if you're constantly like trying to get 100% ready and like, oh, is this the right thing? And like setting and being like, wait, is this right? Wait, is this right? Like, you're not— you're not gonna be moving forward. So that is why this is— this kind of idea is actually really, really important in life in general and in recovery, because like you're never gonna Be ready. You're never gonna feel good. We talked about that last week, talked about playing hurt. That's a great episode. Maybe we'll try to— I'll try to remember to link it below. Um, and you, you just have to go and like figure it out later.

Yeah, because like she said, you'll never know the right direction. You'll never ever ever know if you're going in the right direction until you actually go down that road. It's like you have no map, you have no compass, you have no, no nothing, right? Just imagine this, and then you have to pick These three paths, and you have no idea which one's the right one. It's like you can sit there and wonder all day, all night. Okay, this one might be right. This one might be right. This one might be right. And you'll never know until you actually go down and walk that path. Because like you can like come up with all these like mental models and stuff about what you think that path or where you think that path will take you. But you'll never know unless you actually go down that path. So like what most people like to do is like learn and learn and learn and plan and learn and plan and. Essentially do nothing. They trick themselves into thinking that learning is bringing them somewhere. And that is like a key piece of the puzzle, but that's the ready, right? You need to learn just enough, just as much as you need to take action. And that's kind of a trap that a lot of people get into. And that's kind of like the trap that a lot of like books lead us into as well. And a lot of other training programs or things is that they try to go so deep into like the theory and to the things that like they try to sell you on, like that these like theoretical things are so important, or like learning why all these things are happening, when really you just need kind of like a basic understanding of why all these things are happening, why PTSD is happening to you. Um, but then they go into like the neuroscience of it in the brain, and in the brain, and in your brain, and, um, how like everything is interacting and like And then at the end they're like, well, you know, like this is a new field and we don't really know too much about this anyways. So, and then you like, you close the book and you're like, okay, I don't know what to do. I guess I'll read some more on this. And you read some more and you read some more and you get nowhere because you never take any action in your own life. And the only thing that matters in your life is you taking action in your life and caring about you and caring about you, caring about you. And like, that was, this was a huge turning point for me because like It's a type of procrastination too, right? Because like, you know that you're ready, you know that you can take action, but then you're just like, oh, I need to learn a little bit more. You make that excuse like, oh, I need to learn a little bit more about this, or like, I don't know enough about this, or like, are you like, you're just worried about what's gonna happen if you go down this path, right?

Yeah. And this was a huge one, I think, for you, and it is for all of us, but you definitely— I'm not trying to call you out or anything, uh, you definitely had like a really hard time with this, right? Because You're always very like— you were always very learning-oriented.

Yeah. Yeah.

And I think especially once you started to like struggle with PTSD, you just got like obsessively learning-oriented and like you took away the action part, right? You like stopped taking action because like in like before you were struggling, it was like, okay, learn. This is awesome. I know all this stuff and then take action. But I think like you, like because you were hurting, took that action part away and weren't able to kind of like do that and just got absorbed in like, okay, I'm learning, I'm learning, I'm learning, because I don't actually want to do the action because it hurts, right?

Yeah, well, especially in this case.

Yeah, especially in all cases, right? Yeah. And so it got really challenging and it got to the, you know, to the point of like, oh well, learning is action, right? And that's why Brad's talking about like procrastination, because you can, you can, you can read every book out there and not get better, right? I mean, you can you can. And it doesn't matter what book you read, it doesn't matter what program you take, it doesn't matter what video you watch, it doesn't matter if you watch these, right, if you don't take action, right? So that I think is, is, is a great point because I think a lot of us get caught in like, oh, I'm learning, I'm learning, I'm learning. Like, yeah, like the education system, right? You learn for 20-plus years and then all of a sudden you're expected to be a doctor, be a teacher, right? There's not a lot of practicality, at least over here in the States. And, um, so I think that's, that's a really good point.

That's kind of like, that's kind of like the default mode of operation for everybody who has at least grown up in similar situations as us in school. You're just learning and learning and learning, and you're taught that you are getting a lot of things done when in actuality you're not getting anything done. You're just learning new stuff and not actually taking action. Um, which like, I'm not saying learning is bad. Like, learning is essential. Learning is essential. And I'm— I dedicate a huge chunk of my day just, just to learning because you need to develop yourself and get ready, right, to take action. Because if you're just taking action, having no idea, have no plan whatsoever, like, you're just gonna pick— you're like, you're gonna have 3 paths and you're gonna be like, I'm gonna run into the woods. And then like, you're like, oh, this is wrong. Now I'm lost. Now I have no idea what to do. You get yourself into a lot of trouble that way. Or you just like lose hope if you're just taking action. But like, I guess if I had to say, action trumps learning. But really, like, you need to be doing both.

Right, which is why it's like ready, go, set. It's like ready, you just, you, you need, you need a little bit, just a little bit, just enough, right? So just whether it's 60%, right, or it's even like 10%, like if you're like me, it's like, I, like, Brad calls me the implementation master, right?

She is.

I need like, I need like a sentence from a book and I'm like, oh, I got it, great, let's go, right? And like, and And then I start to move and then I set and I figure out if it's, if it's good or bad, if it's right or wrong.

Right. Right. And really it's just like, it's kind of, you kind of like move in between once, like we're talking about ready, go, set, and then it's ready, go, set, and then you go and then you set and then you go and you set. So you go and then you adjust, you go, then you adjust. So it's like, it's kind of, you're switching between these 2 different, you know, modes of like, I'm taking a ton of action and then you take that so far and then you're like, okay, I don't know what to do next. And then you learn. Right. So that's like adjusting, right? And then you go back to taking action and until you're like, okay, I hit this other wall. I don't know what to do when I face this. And then you go and learn and how to overcome this. Right. Right. And then you go back and you take action. So it's never just only taking action. It's never just only learning. You kind of like switch back and forth between the two. And that's kind of like what we do and what we did. And I was going to say secret to how we were able to do all this, but it's no secret.

Yeah, and like this is a tale as old as time, right? You think about—I've been saying that a lot lately. You think about like Columbus, right? And like way back 1492, right? Columbus sailed the ocean blue, and like he got like as ready as he could, right? He packed his ships, whatever he did. He you know he got his food, he got his water, and then he was like, "Well, I'm gonna go in that direction," right? He got like he was not 100% ready. He was like maybe. maybe 20%, right? And like also kind of maybe thought the world was flat, you know? So like, so like he was like, I'm gonna go in that direction. And so he was like ready, and then he went. And then along his journey, he like set and went again and adjusted and like figured out where he was and where he ended up and, uh, and stuff like that, right? So, um, it really is like as old as, as time. It, it truly is. And it's, it's really important that like I think sometimes we see success and we see successful people and they're like, oh, they knew what they were doing, they did it, and then they got there.

It was a perfectly smooth sailing, right?

That couldn't be further from the truth. And this is something that we talk about a lot, right? Like, your healing journey, your, your journey to success is like, it's full of a lot of failures, right? Even with a roadmap, like, life happens. Even just being human, even not having PTSD, right? Like, life happens and there's all these twists and turns and like Sometimes you take a step back, sometimes you take a step forward, sometimes you take a leap forward, sometimes you, you pause, right?

Yep.

And, you know, it's, it's all these twists and turns, and like, there's, there's failures. And like, failure is the way that we learn and the way that we grow and the way that we get better. And it, it, it's a really, really, really important part of the healing journey, you know, because it is individual, you know. As much as like, if I were in your shoes, you know, I could do it for you, I could do all the things for you, And I could, I could get it done. But like, still in your shoes, in your situation, there's gonna be little kind of nuances that like hurt, right? And little kind of failures that like hurt and that we need to like get past and like move on with and, and learn how to fix them and ready, go, and set. And like, but like this, this path, this, this journey to success is like, it's full of all sorts of, you know, crap, right?

It is.

It just is.

That's the reality.

And no matter what it is, right? No matter if you're talking about success in your healing journey, right? You know, you see a lot of people like reach rock bottom first before they reach success, or like at least that's where the story begins. So you take someone who has completed their healing journey, right, who is now looking back and like, yeah, I did it, it's great. And like if you ask them how it was, it's like, okay, I failed like a bunch and it hurt a lot, right? It doesn't matter who they are. Or you take, you know, an artist, right? Let's say you take a musician or you take a you take an actor, right? You take like Zac Efron and you take Taylor Swift, and like, it was not a smooth ride to the top. Like, it's really challenging and it's really hard, and there's a lot of work and there's a ton of failure.

Yeah.

And that's just how life is. And I think it's important that we like, we like don't cringe when we hear the word failure, right? And we just remember that like failure is a really good thing. It's a positive thing, right? Because it's an opportunity to grow and to get better and to tweak, right? It's an opportunity to set Essentially, yeah. So it's like ready, go, fail. Okay, set, go, fail. Set, go, right? And so, right, it's really, it's really important.

And I feel like I crap on the educational system a lot, but, um, your whole life you're taught that making mistakes is a bad thing and you get punished for making mistakes. But literally, you, I, you couldn't show me one human being on this planet that is mistake-free, that went through life without making a single mistake, um, because Mistakes, failures are all inevitable, and there's no way to get around them unless you learn how to get around them. But like, there's no way to avoid them, I guess that's the way to say it. There's no way to avoid them, and you have to just work your way through them. Um, so that's— I mean, that's, that's, that's huge right there.

Yeah, it is huge. I am inevitable.

I am inevitable.

Inevitable.

Well, I am Iron Man, so Oh wow, interesting.

So the action today, right? So it's ready, go, set. This is actually a little earlier than we usually do the episodes, which is why we're a little weird, I guess. So ready, go, set. So the action today is to just do it, right? To just, just go, right? Because—

Just go. You're ready.

You're likely ready, right? You're likely ready to whatever it is, whether it's like take some action, right? Plan tomorrow today. Whether it's for those of you who are in the program to, to watch some of the modules, to Maybe ask that question, right, to, to call, to do the coaching call, whatever it is. Like, you're likely ready. Just go and we'll set later, right? So just do it. Plan tomorrow today, or take some action on the modules, or, you know, watch the webinar if you haven't, watch the recovery training, um, reach out with a question to me if you haven't. Whatever it is, you're ready, so go and do it.

Yeah, if you're not ready Go watch Kayleen's webinar and then you'll be ready. Yeah, then you'll be ready, honestly.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so that is what we have for you today. Um, so if you haven't seen the recovery training, definitely go see the recovery training. We talk about all the time because it really is— it'll give you hope. It really will. It'll change— it'll begin to change your belief, even if you don't fully believe right now that recovery and full recovery is possible— excuse me— from something like this. that'll begin to change your belief. And for a lot of people, it's a huge turning point. So, and at the end, I talk about the Broken to Unbreakable program where people work with me. I work with people all over the world one-on-one to help them with their personal healing journey. So it's a really, really great training. Took me ages, took me as long as time, as old as time to put it together. So go watch it if you haven't. I'll put the link below. I'm gonna remember to try to remember to link the You Have to Play Hurt episode. That's a great episode. Below this, um, my email. You know, if you like us or if you hate us, make sure you rate us, right? My mission, our mission is to reach as many people as we can, you know. And if these podcasts are helpful, if listening to this stuff, if just kind of hearing us, if taking the actions, you know, if all that stuff is helpful to you, then it's likely that it's going to be helpful to someone else. And we want to reach as many people as possible. So, you know, make sure you rate us. If you want to write a little snippet, you can. If not, no worries, no pressure. Like it, share it, maybe share it in Facebook groups. We love when people do that again because like we're truly here to like reach out a hand and help people. And like when we were in that dark, dark place and like we just felt hopeless, like there were— there's no one we could like look to or ask questions to, or like no one was giving us the input of like, you can do this. And so it was just us kind of flying by night and like in the dark on this, and it was really, really hard. And we want to save people that pain and like save people. Like, we, we lost our relationship from it, and we both obviously went through a lot of personal pain. But like, I don't want anyone to have to go through any more pain than, you know, they have to. And like, yes, part of this journey is painful and it hurts, and yes, that, that is true. But like, you don't have to go through as much pain as likely that you're going through. So really important that, you know, we get the word out, we, we, we share this with people. Like, ask yourself right now, who do you know that would benefit from this podcast. And, um, and that would be really good.

Yeah, we all know somebody.

Yeah.

We all know somebody.

We all know someone. So, um, that is all we have for you today. We love you, we're here for you, we believe in you. And, um, if you haven't watched Avengers: Endgame, it is a pretty dark input, so not recommended, but a really good movie, so kind of recommended. Um, but a lot of, um, A lot of fighting.

Oh, everything just comes— everything just comes together.

Um, a lot of sadness. Not a sad— not recommended, really. They toy with your emotions. They play on childhood emotions. So definitely not recommended, but a really good movie. So I don't know, I guess it's up to you at the end of the day. Um, but yeah, yeah, really dark. Really good though. Yeah, I wish we were movie reviewers.

It's the best movie I've ever seen.

It was the best movie. We actually saw it twice, I'm not even gonna lie. So, but not recommended for, for you guys. Yeah, but it's really good.

It's super.

Am I sending mixed messages?

You are, but—

All right, we love you. We'll see you, um, we'll see you soon.

All right, bye-bye.