Sean Stephenson's Secrets of Becoming A Highly Paid Speaker & World Leader
Continuation of a recorded interview where Brad Costanzo and Sean Stephenson explore storytelling, authenticity, and building a speaking business. Sean emphasizes emotional authenticity to connect audiences, explains that effective speaking transfers ideas and shifts emotions, reiterates the MDMA framework, and promotes a live intensive (two-and-a-half-day workshop starting with registration on the 13th, main days 14–15, ending noon on the 16th) priced around $1497 (references to $4,000 as value/previous investment).
Questions this video answers
Two and a half days (registration on the 13th; main days 14–15; ends at noon on the 16th).
$1497 is cited as the attendee price; $4,000 referenced as a prior cost/value.
Chapters
Okay, this is Bacon Wrap Business with Shawn Stevenson, episode number awesome. For business owners, marketing execs, and anyone trying to grow your business, pump your profits and make more while doing less. Welcome to Bacon Wrapped Business with Brad Costanzo. Sizzling hot business advice guaranteed to make you fat profits. Hey, guys, this is Brad Costanzo. Welcome back to Bacon Wrapped Business. I've got a a special video episode for you here today. I am interviewing my friendor friendmentor, the Sean Stephenson, who you can see on the screen if you're watching the video. If you're not, by the way, if you're listening to this on the audio only podcast, you can go to baconwrappedbusiness.com Sean Stephenson. I'll put a link on the show notes here so you can go check it out. If you want to watch the video on YouTube, et cetera, highly recommend it. But for all of those of you who are checking out the show right now, live, I like to do these video interviews. I don't do them enough, but I think it's a great way for you to see the interaction between me and my guest. I called Sean a friend tour because he started off as my friend, he became my mentor. He's kind of back to my friend and go back to for mentoring whenever I need it.
I think, I mean, I need to weigh in on whether that's even true, but keep going.
Yeah, he doesn't like to claim that.
He'S my friend, but it lowers my status.
I keep convincing him of all the benefits of being my friend and I said, I'll be your bff. Anyway, for those of you who don't know Shawn, for a lot of you, he needs no introduction. But for those of you who aren't familiar, Sean is a world renowned public speaker. He shared the stage with the Dalai Lama, with Richard Branson, with some of the top speakers, industry leaders, politicians in the world. He used to work in the White House under President Clinton. He's got one of the most impressive Rolodexes of content of contacts you'll ever meet. And he's also one of the most impressive people. Sean, you might want to put on earmuffs because I don't necessarily want your head to get any bigger than this.
Are you saying my head's big?
Yeah, a little bit.
My body.
Little big for your body?
I think I'm going to sue you for that.
Well, that's okay. I'll take that. That being said, let me continue to blow up your ego. For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know you. Sean is also one of the single best, if not the best public speaker that I've ever heard in my life. And I come across Sean just through some of his public appearances years ago. I was fortunate enough to meet him in once more about maybe four or five years ago at another event and then another event. We just kind of kept in contact. And after several years of chatting back and forth, I actually hired Sean to help me with my public speaking in his apprenticeship program. And I know Sean is. You're probably very disappointed in me right now. You're probably thinking, man, you're making me look bad. You said once or twice.
No, I'm not worried.
That being said, I'm really fortunate to have you on the show. This is kind of a funny show. You and I have been sitting here talking offline for, I think about two hours now.
Just bantering something like that.
Yeah, back and forth, BSing and whatnot. Because we are friends. And I really wanted Shawn to be on here for a couple of reasons. One of them is that, Sean, I believe that you have an incredible message to deliver. And folks who have any inclination to be a public speaker. Why is my.
An angel just got its wings?
That's exactly what it is. Are you gonna be really excited to buy an event that you are hosting in a just a couple weeks? It's kind of last minute, but on November 13th through 15th, we'll get into this. You're hoping 13th through the 16th you're hosting an event for public speakers. And I mention this right now because if you're listening to this and you don't have the chance to go check it out, if you happen to jump off the line before we get to it, you'll be doing yourself a disservice. So we'll do the plug right away. Go to Sean stevenson.com 10k. Get all the information just to make sure that people aren't, you know, people don't miss this. But we'll get into that. That being said, Sean, welcome to the show. It'll. It's going to be fun to wrap you up in bacon and.
Thank you. This is what I've been hoping you'd ask me to do for years. Me all greasy.
All greasy.
Enjoy.
Me fry you up in a pan.
Damn. Yep.
So once more, we've been. We've been chatting for a while.
I don't even know. Is this. Should we speak serious?
Serious is not as much fun as.
Okay, I like what you just said there.
Be essen. So, okay. Usually on the show and I know you've probably listened to every single episode three or four times, transcribed them and, you know, read them every, you know, morning.
I know I go to sleep listening to them. They put me to sleep.
But so, as you very well know, we like to share what we call bacon wrapped strategies, which is anything that is, you know, hot, sizzling, hot things people can't get elsewhere. Tasty, tasty, sizzling.
Get out of your mind. Boom. Let me just say how brilliant your marketing strategy is on just this podcast. Just bacon itself is so powerful that I have met vegans up in Portland that have meetup groups to eat bacon. Vegans that eat bacon in Portland.com? yeah, something like that. But there are meetups of vegans that eat bacon and they're like, they just, they don't care. They know it's not vegan. They know it's not right, but damn it, they love their bacon.
You. You can't blame them. Yeah, I. I've had several people tell me they found my show and two of them, like, use the exact same verbatim words when they emailed me and they said, you, you had me. I was scrolling through the itunes.
Had me at bacon.
You had me at bacon. Well, that's why I'm a marketing genius, because I figured I may not be able to dazzle them with my brilliance, but I'm going to bring them in with a bacon.
We're gonna get into advocate marketing here.
Yes.
Which is one of my claim to fames, and we'll talk about that in depth in a moment. But have you sent bacon to your advocates?
No. However, I have. My assistant, Nancy has been researching some of the best gourmet bacon providers for gift, like, gift basket type bacon. And we are going to have a taste off. Like, we're going to get some and we're going to taste them. I think she may have the best job in the world because she's going to be paid to eat bacon.
Because what you need to do is when you have guests like me on, you need to send them bacon and you need to have bacon at the same time. We could just sit here, eat bacon and talk about business.
And that's gonna be amazing because when people have their headphones in, they're gonna hear us smacking our gums. And if only they can get that smell.
Yes.
Yeah. By the way, do you. You. Have you heard my. Have you heard the jingle?
I think I have, yeah.
In the very, very beginning, it starts off with the sizzling sound of bacon.
Yes. So, but enough about and nothing is as like, I. Can we talk about bacon for a moment?
We can talk about bacon.
Okay. I don't normally eat bacon, but when I do, I eat turkey bacon usually.
That's kind of sacrilege, by the way.
But go ahead, hear me out because you'll, you'll understand. When I go back to having a piece of regular bacon after eating turkey bacon, I am like, what the hell have I been doing?
Yeah, there's a big difference.
Crappy turkey bacon. Like, turkey bacon is like taking turkey and like just drying the hell out of it.
Right.
It's like making thin jerky. But when you have really good, good bacon and you cook it up right. Crispy, even vegans are like looking. Getting people to look the other way so they can just shove it down their throat.
That's great. That's great. Well, I'm. Yes, it is on my, it is on my to do list for my advocates. And we'll talk about those guys in a second to. And all also my guests to get a. Just a incredible slab of gourmet bacon in the mail because.
Right.
Everybody likes mail order bacon. So let's, let's talk a little bit about squirrels.
I love squirrels.
I know, I know.
As good as bacon.
No, I just ate squirrels because I was thinking add. I was trying to switch the topic back to something that people are going to get a lot out of. Although I like just BSing with you. But there's a lot that we could talk about and it kind of. It's kind of weird that, you know, we are friends. We talk about a little bit of everything.
We talk about things we should not talk about on this program because my.
Mom might listen, most likely. And I saw, I saw pop walking around.
Yeah. My dad's in, he's. He's in town right now.
Eavesdropping.
Yeah. But dad knows pretty much everything.
That's true.
He went to college with me.
You're not gonna, you're not going to.
Pull my shock the Pop.
So she have two degrees then?
No, because he didn't do a damn thing when I was in college.
He just sat back and.
He sat back, ate in the cafeteria, read the newspaper. That's awesome. He was basically on a stakeout to make sure that his son didn't kill anyone or get any girl pregnant.
That's great. I love it. The. I love your dad too. He's awesome. So he's your business partner, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
That's awesome.
Family business for like since 1996. Wow.
So the. And the Family business. That is. I mean, you are. You do a lot of things. But I mean, would you say that keynote speaking is really your.
My bacon.
Bacon. That's how you bring home the bacon?
That's how I bring home the bacon. Well, and we're transitioning out of that.
Right.
But for nearly two decades. Well, 21 years almost now, see, because I've been. 1996 was when I got my first paid speaking engagement, but I was speaking before then. So I say I've been speaking for 21 years, but I've been paid to speak for like 17 or something years. And, you know, it's hard to compete in my world with making 10, 15, $30,000 in an hour. You know, like, I. I see my buddies, they work their asses off for these launches. And after they pay their affiliates and after they pay for their advertising, you know, their Facebook ads, their Google Ads, and after they. After the. All their costs are done, you know, they may make 150 grand.
Right.
If there was a good launch. You know, that's.
It's the myth of the.
It's the myth of the launch for me.
Yeah.
And I don't have to kill myself. I go to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, and I sip on a coconut and I get dressed, I go down the elevator, I get up on stage, I do my thing, I get a standing ovation, and I walk off network with the people that love me, and I go home first class.
Yeah.
And I'm not.
I'm.
I'm saying that partially to brag, but also partially to offer the. Just the vision to the listener that that's possible for people. You know, I. I gotta be honest, I'm a very lazy person. And so, you know, I used to fight that.
I've always thought that you probably, you know, can get up and walk around and you're just so lazy you like to sit in that chair.
No, what I did is I decided at a very young age that walking looked like a lot of work.
You're like, I'm just gonna sit here.
And tell everybody I'm gonna develop a bone disorder. Right.
So here's gonna fake it.
Here's why I decided to become a keynote speaker. I decided to be a keynote speaker because I wanted to be able to charge the maximum I could for one hour of my time and then have to work for months.
Yep.
And you know, when. When you charge 10, 20, $30,000 for an hour, you don't need many engagements if you don't want to live like a rock Star, you just want to live nicely. You don't need many engagements a year at, you know, 20 to $30,000 a gig. And so my, My joke to my buddies are, I want to finally figure out, you know, like, how can I get to the 150k for 1 hour, just do like 2 to 3 speeches a year and then just call it good.
Right.
Work three days a year and, and make more than I would if I busted my ass as an online marketer, you know, and so keynote speaking. What I loved about it is, and I still love about it is if you do it right, and we'll talk about the four aspects that it takes to master. I call it my MDMA formula. Wait, wait, wait. MDMA formula.
Nice. That sounds. That sounds amazing.
It is. It will take you to great places. Message delivery, marketing, and attitude. We'll go into that later. But when you really dial in on those four key components, you. You can charge almost anything you want if you, if you have those dialed in, you know, within reason. But, you know, I've seen people go from not ever being paid to speak to their first engagement being five to $10,000.
Right.
And that's a big leap that most businesses. You did your first launch. You, you, you don't. You have to have a big enough list to, to make a good amount of money. You, you can't go out, you know, with three names on your email list and book $10,000 worth of products, more than likely. But with speaking, if you have the right message, the right way of delivering it, the right marketing and positioning it, and you have the right attitude in working with the client and yourself. They, they. You know, like, I think you and you and I even talked about how. Remember the first time you saw me speak in San Diego?
Right.
What if I had gone up to you and said that was my third speech ever? Would you feel like you got cheated because you thought I was a pro? Would you feel.
No, I would have thought that you were superhuman. First of all, because if anybody could speak that well on their third speech, like, I'd be blown away.
Right. So people don't care how long you've been a speaker.
Right.
All they care about is the results you get when you're on stage.
Yep.
Speaking is unlike any other format. You get the right message, the right delivery, the right marketing, and the right attitude. You come out the gate making good money because people don't care how long you've been in it. It's not like an investment banking or many other fields. They're gonna want to know how long you've been doing it because they're gonna be worried about you've been in it. It's not like an investment banking or many other fields. They're gonna want to know how long you've been doing it because they're gonna be worried about putting money into you. But it one YouTube video clip of you speaking blows people away, they go, just do that again. If you can do that again, we will happily pay you.
Yep.
And that's what's awesome about keynote speaking. And plus, I mean, what I have loved about my 21 years of doing this is I've traveled the world. You know, I've seen 47 states, seen probably going on 15 to 17 countries. I've been in every major US city in the United States. I've stayed in almost every five star resort on an island somewhere in this world that you can imagine. And I haven't had to spend a dollar to do that travel. You know, I got buddies. We have a friend you were talking about earlier. He. Facebook's a lot. Right. He loves to travel, but he's shelling out thousands of dollars a year to travel. I don't get on an airplane unless somebody's paying for that.
Right.
And I'm so snobby that I don't get on the airplane unless they're paying for it. And they're also paying me.
Yeah. And first class.
And first class. So absolutely. And so that sounds arrogant. And it was. It didn't. I didn't start out that way, of course, but it got to the point in my career where I realized that vacation was getting to stay home.
You're right.
Vacation was not having to stay in a hotel. You know, people will try to call me up and they'll say, sean, we don't have a speaker's budget, but we're holding it in Atlantis and we're gonna fly you first class. And they're like, so that should be enough of an incentive. And I'm like, I've been to Atlantis three times this year. I don't need Atlantis to whet my appetite to go to a free speech, you know, And I hope that I'm not coming off like I've got it all figured out and I'm perfect because that's. I make a lot of mistakes. What I'm trying to get across is that this is a really fun industry to be in. You know, I've also had the pleasure of meeting some of the most amazing people.
Oh.
Doing what I do. I mean, I got to spend one on one time with the Dalai Lama. I got to spend one on one time with u. S. Presidents. I got to spend one on 1 time with some of the fortune 500 company CEOs, Steve Forbes, Richard Branson. I mean, I got to learn in people's private homes, people that you could never access even with money, celebrities, athletes, musicians, all that I got to meet through speaking. And it's, I think of speaking, not just doing it live on stage, but this is speaking right now. You and I are speaking, right? Speaking is in podcasts, it's in webinars, it's in, it's in any format where your voice resonates out to an ear. And if you know how to speak in a way that people find it enjoyable to listen to and to learn from and to be entertained by, then you really have your speaker, your speaking, your message, your delivery, your marketing, your attitude dialed in.
I love it. And you know, the, the misconception and I, and I definitely think your message, especially with your mission right now, which is to help people become world class speakers, really needs to make sure that you don't confuse people to think that they, that the only benefit to what you teach them is to become a keynote speaker. But you just hit on it right there. Like speaking, it can be your entire business, but it can also be a critical component of any business, whether you're speaking to large stadiums or, you know, a thousand people in a corporate auditorium.
Most people that I am working with and I will work with probably will not address More than 500 people in live seminar in their life, right? Maybe even less than 100. Very few, very few will get to address thousands. And it's not because they aren't going to be good enough. It's because they, they will find that there are other avenues of speaking other than just traveling and doing live auditoriums that they're, you know, I did a webinar maybe about a year ago with a couple thousand people and that was a small webinar compared to some of my friends, the whole webinars. But on the webinar There was like 2500 people and I was in my pajamas, you know, and, and I was, but I was speaking and I created a, a little animation we just put out. Did you see the animation?
Which one?
In the draw shop where.
Yeah, I did. Yeah, that was good. That was good.
Cool. And it was just another way in marketing, right? Just another way of telling what I'm telling right now, which is you can't just be a good speaker, because that's just about delivery. And you can't just have a good story because that's just about message. You can't just have slick marketing, because that's just marketing. You can't just be a nice guy, because that's just attitude. You got to have all of it. Can't just be a nice lady. You have to have all four components. The M, the D, you know, mdma, all four components. Have to be firing all four cylinders.
Absolutely. And, you know, and you can. You can craft that. Everybody thinks you have to be a born public speaker, and you have to be slick. And in a minute, I want you to go over something, I'll tee it up for you, because it was one of the most impactful parts of our training together. I even heard you mention it on Joe Polish's podcast the other day, and I was like, ah, that's cool. He actually mentioned it. But so many people get petrified of public speaking, and they're so nervous and they think that I'm not good enough. People are going to laugh at me or I'm gonna choke. And they're really, really worried because they're worried they're gonna look stupid, right? And they get this fear. The butterflies turns into fear, turns into pet. You know, they become petrified. And it's very natural, I think, for anybody to get those butterflies before they're about to go speak. And I know I do. I actually get a little bit excited before I get to go, because I do enjoy it. Maybe I'm just an attention whore. I don't know. But you had. You shared a mind shift with me that has made 100% of the difference every time I speak, whether it's on a podcast like this, whether it's in a room of small people or big people. And I want you to share that with right now.
Small people like me.
Small people like you. Yes, exactly like you. Because I speak to a lot of people who look exactly like you. It's like looking for Waldo.
I'm just another boring guy in your life.
Well, you blend into the crowd very easily. That said, because I do enjoy it. Maybe I'm just an attention whore. I don't know. But you had. You shared a mind shift with me that has made 100% of the difference every time I speak, whether it's on a podcast like this, whether it's in a, you know, a room of small people or big people. And I do you. You know where I'm going with this? The mind shift that I'm thinking About the audience. Yeah, that. If. If I recall right, and I'll let you. I'll tee it up, let you take it home. But look, if you're. I think I remember you saying, look, if you're. If you're nervous, if you're really nervous or fearful, being a selfish prick, you know, I want you to share that with right now.
Small people like me.
Small people like you. Yes, exactly like it. Because I speak to a lot of people, look exactly like you. It's like looking for Waldo.
I'm just another boring guy in your life.
Well, you blend into the crowd very easily. That said. So go ahead and explain this concept, because if. If you listening to this, do you. You know where I'm going with this? The mind shift that I'm thinking about the audience. Get anything else? Get. Take nothing else from this. This is. This is profound. But, you know, explain the mind shift that happens that removes the fear.
I found that all fear of public speaking is really an issue of selfishness, that you're worried about what other people think of you. You're worried about if you look back.
Yeah, that. If. If I recall right, and I'll let you. I'll tee it up, let you take it home. But look, if you're. I think I remember you saying, look, if you're. If you're nervous, if you're really nervous or fearful, you're being a selfish prick, you know, so go ahead and explain this concept, because if. If you listening to this, you're worried.
About, you're gonna screw up. You're worried about will they like you. You're worried about whether they'll buy from you. You're worried about you, you, you, you, you. And when we get all tied up in thinking about ourselves, it creates drama, it creates fear, it creates.
Get anything else. Get. Take nothing else from this. This is. This is profound. But, you know, explain the mind shift that happens that removes the fear.
I found that all fear of public speaking is really an issue of selfishness, that you're worried about what other people think of you. You're worried about, if you look back, paralysis. Whereas. Because we're thinking about us, right? Whereas. What you have to realize is the audience isn't there for you, even if. Even with big names like Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Wayne Dyer, you know, the giants of the speaking industry, as much as people think that they're clad, you're worried about you're gonna screw up. You're worried about will they like you. You're worried about whether they'll buy from you, you're worried about you, you, you, you, you. And when we get all tied up and thinking about ourselves, it creates drama, it creates fear, it creates going to hear them. They're not. They're going to hear something that that person says that they idolize to then go use on themselves. And so I'm just trying to distill the truth, which is no one's ever listening because they love Sean Stevenson. They may even think that that's why they're listening, but they're not. They're listening because they love themselves, hopefully. And they want to figure out some aspect of life, they want to solve some problem they're going through, they want to create some kind of dream, they have something they want to work on, they want to gather some kind of paralysis. Whereas, because we're thinking about us, right? Whereas what you have to realize is the audience isn't there for you. Even if even with big names like Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Wayne Dyer, you know, the giants of the speaking industry, as much as people think that their quest relief technique, something they want to acquire from listening to my speech. And so I have to remember they're not there for Sean Stevenson, they're there for them, right? And so I don't have to worry about what they think of me because they're not thinking of me, they're thinking of them. And so that, that's a harsh reality when to hear them, they're not, they're going to hear something that that person says that they idolize to then go use on themselves. And so I'm just trying to distill the truth, which is no one's ever listening because they love Sean Stevenson. They may even think that that's why they're listening, but they're not. They're listening because they love me. Like, yo, you're not there because of you, you're there because of them. And when I give my best speeches, it's not when I'm even talking to them. Here's where it gets really funky. My best speeches, and I think any pro would tell you this, are when I'm actually talking to myself, right? Because that's the only time I listen up if I'm themselves, hopefully. And they want to figure out some aspect of life, they want to solve some problem they're going through, they want to create some kind of dream, they have something they want to work on, they want to gather some kind of stress relief technique, something they want to acquire from talking to Brad Costanzo about bacon wrap business that is like sunshine up my ass. It's not. Not real. If I'm like, whoa, dude. Okay, let's have a serious conversation for just a moment and let's talk about some of the hardships I've had in my speaking career. Let's talk about what I've had listening to my speech. And so I have to remember they're not there for Sean Stevenson. They're there for them.
Right?
And so I don't have to worry about what they think of me because I had to go through. Let's talk about how I've earned where I'm at and let's talk about some of the things that if I had learned them, I could have shortcut a lot of problems in my business. And now I'm talking to my. They're not thinking of me, they're thinking of them. And so that. That's a harsh reality of like, yo, you're not there because of you. You're there because of them. Myself about my own authentic trials tribulation. And when I get my best speeches, it's not when I'm even talking to them. Here's where it gets really funky. My best speeches and I think any. And talk about the things that I'm proud of. And when I'm talking and I'm using message points that relate to me still to this day, that's when I'm present because I have to be. I'm absorbing as much as I'm pro would tell you this. Or when I'm actually talking to myself.
Right?
Because that's the only time I listen up if I'm as much as I'm delivering. But if all you're doing is delivering and you have no talking to Brad Castanzo about bacon wrap business interest in absorbing your own message because you don't think. You think as soon as you think you're above the crowd that your. Your mission is above other people. That is like sunshine up my ass. It's not real. If I'm like people, they feel it and you lose them. Whoa, dude. Okay, let's have a serious conversation for just a moment.
And it's so profound. And I just remember thinking because.
And let's talk about some of the hardships I've had in my speaking career. Let's talk about what I've had. If you.
If you do care about what you're speaking about. And hopefully if you're speaking, you do. You give it hopefully, right? So if you care and you. Your main goal should be. And this is the way that I interpret that too. And why it helps to go through.
Let's talk about how I learned where I'm at and let's talk about some of the things that if I had learned them I could have shortcut a lot of problems in my business. And now I'm talking to. To my me.
There's a. There's a room full of people out there who need the information that I've.
Got and if myself about my own authentic trials tribulations.
I am like you said, if I'm. If I'm worried about the way I'm gonna look and if I'm gonna say or ah too many times or if I'm not gonna give the best delivery, then I'm doing them a disservice. I'm robbing them from the content they need so much. And on the other side and talk.
About the things that I'm proud of. And when I'm talking and I'm using message points that relate to me still to this day. That's when I'm present because I have to be. I'm absorbing as much as I'm that.
I've seen speakers not deliver the best.
Mechanics of it as much as I'm delivering. But if all you're doing is delivering and you have no but they were.
Passionate about it and you could tell they care forgave them and yeah you forgive them because they care enough. Because you could tell they're putting the passion in it and they are doing it.
Some of my best audience, some of my favorite speakers get up on stage interest in absorbing your own message because you don't think. You think as soon as you think you're above the crowd that your. Your mission is above other page with notes and they pace back and forth people they feel it and you lose them.
Yeah. And that's so profound. And I just remember thinking because.
And they're goofy and they talk in tangents but they are so authentic and their material is so like Joe Callahan. He's not a speaker that a lot of people know that are outside of the industry.
If you. If you do care about what you're speaking about and hopefully if you're speaking you do you give a crap. Right. So if you care and you play.
Man, he gets all on stage and I just. I mean hammered.
Your. Your main goal should be. And this is the way that I interpret that too and why it helps me. There's a. There's a room full of people out there who need the information that I've got.
And if not because he's got the best delivery, he's got the best message, but he's so clear on who he is and he's so cares about delivering the value to me, the listener that.
I think I am. Like you said, if I'm, if I'm worried about the way I'm gonna look and if I'm gonna say or ah too many times or if I'm not gonna give the best delivery, then I'm doing them a disservice.
It's adorable. He's holding his notes.
Right.
It's not because he's not holding the.
Notes because I'm robbing them from the content they need so much. And on the other side of that, I've seen speakers not deliver the best mechanics of it needs notes because he.
Doesn'T know what he's gonna say. He's got notes so that he knows how to stay on track because he's got so much to say. So the notes are like playful.
Yep.
It's. It's not, it's not about. It's not about one.
But they are passionate about it and you could tell they care. Yeah. You forgive them because they care enough. Because you could tell they're putting the passion and in it and they are doing it.
Single technique. It's not about one single thing. It's like back to the days of when you and I used to teach men how to get women and we would say to guys, it's not the pickup lines, it's the intention and energy underneath it. Because I could teach you the best line, but if you're going to be awkward and creepy about it. Some of my best audience, some of my favorite speakers get up on stage, you'll creep the girl out. But you could also go up with smooth energy and totally sure of yourself and say anything and the girl will like you.
Yep, yep. It's all, it's all in that authentic delivery. And that's, you know, one of the things, as I said, you know, I went through, I think it was a three month apprenticeship with you. And for some folks who think, oh.
You'Re going to teach with notes and they pace back and forth and they're goofy and they talk in tangents, but they are so authentic and their material is so like Joe Callahan. He's not a speaker that a lot of people know that are outside of.
The industry people how to exactly how to hold their hands and exactly how to be the most polished, it's really not.
But man, he gets all on stage and I just, I'm enamored. Not because he's got the best delivery or he's got the best message, but he's so clear nothing about that.
It's really about how to deliver that authentic message, but also how to craft the message in a way. You gave some amazing techniques about. And we won't go into this right now. These are just the little antics, but like the block method that you use about how you story on who he.
Is and he so cares about delivering the value to me, the listener that.
Block things in order to. If somebody's get. If you've got an hour and then they, you know, it's adorable.
He's holding his notes.
Right.
It's not because he's not holding the notes because he.
All of a sudden you went from an hour speech, they said, you've got 15 minutes. How do you, how do you recover from that?
How do you eat notes? Because he doesn't know what he's going to say. He's got notes so that he knows how to stay.
And you've got, you know, really an amazing technique. And what I really liked as well is it wasn't just about building the content and building the delivery, etc. But you talked about, you know, the marketing. You talked about the, the attitude, the business, the relationship side of it. And I've studied a decent amount about public speaking, although not as much as, you know, other topics. But I have not seen people really who know what they're talking about the same level you do. You've been doing this for a very.
Long track because you've got so much to say. So the notes are like playful.
Yep.
It's. It's not, it's not about. It's not about one single technique. It's not about one single thing. It's like back to the days of when you and I used to teach men how to get women and long time.
You've seen a little bit of everything when it comes to, you know, to speak.
And I've watched a lot of people fail.
Right.
And I don't mean fail like make mistakes because I. We would say to guys, it's not the pickup lines, it's. It's the intention and energy. A lot of mistakes. And I don't mean like have a bad speech because I've had bad speeches. I mean like quit. I mean like not get hired and go broke.
Yeah.
I mean like, you know, throw everything away. Be pretty underneath it because I could teach you the best line. But if you're gonna be awkward and creepy about it you'll creep the girl out. But you could also go up with smooth energy and totally they didn't get it handled. So every year the National Speakers association has about a thousand people at least come to their national conference. They're all speakers. So you can. It's not the National Lizzie, sure of yourself and say anything and the girl will like you.
Yep, yep. It's all, it's all in that authentic delivery. And that's you know, one of the things as I said, you know I.
Went through I think association. There's no one's, no one's listening.
Everybody's in there thinking about this is how I would speak.
Everybody's talking over each other and at least a third of the room, at least Brad, a third of the room will not be back the next year really.
Because they just can't make it because they don't a three month apprenticeship with you. And for some folks who think, oh you're going to teach people how to, exactly how to hold their hands and exactly how to be the most polished.
It'S really not master mdma.
Yep, yep. And then nothing about that. It's really about how to deliver that authentic message but also how to craft the message in a way you, you gave some amazing techniques about. And we won't go into this right now and that's like you said, that's, that's message delivery, marketing and attitude.
Right? Yeah. And if I could for a moment you will find and these are just.
The little antics but like the block method that you use about how you.
Story and any of us will. We'll find programs to really get good message. You'll find good programs about the delivery, find great programs about block things in order to.
If somebody's get if you've got an hour and then they, you know, all of a sudden you went from an hour speech, they said you've got 15 minutes. How do you, how do you recover from that? How do you. And you've got you know, really an amazing technique. And what I really liked is what.
You'Ll find maybe some good programs about the attitude of how to handle the client. But the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing is I haven't found a boot camp, a sales program like a training that teaches people is it wasn't.
Just about building the content and building the delivery, etc.
But you talked about all four aspects and that's what always upset me. I would go to these trainings about.
You know, the marketing. You talked about the, the attitude the business, the relationship side of it. And I've studied a decent amount about.
Public speak, and I'm not putting down. These leaders, they. They taught me a lot, but they got really good at one of those four components, and then that's pretty much all they felt it took. You know, they would just be like, all right. Oh, you just gotta market the hell out of yourself.
You know, not as much as, you know, know other topics, but I have not seen people.
Yeah, that's great. Market the hell out of yourself. Have good, shiny brochures, really who know.
What they're talking about. The same level you do. You've been doing this for a very long.
And that's. That's gonna get you a lot of first dates. But if you don't have a good message and you suck at delivery and you got a bad attitude to work with, you are not getting a second date.
Right.
And if you think you're going to make it in the industry of speaking.
Long time, you've seen a little bit of everything when it comes to, you know, to speak.
And I've watched a lot of people fail.
Right.
And I don't mean fail, like make mistakes, because I made a lot of mistakes. And I don't mean, like, have a bad speech because I've had bad speeches without second dates. Damn. You're going to choose declining, like, quit? I mean, like, not get hired him uphill every single day.
Yeah. And it's. It's those relationships that you build that keep paying dividends over and over. I'm sure there's multiple companies that you've spoken for. They bring you back.
Zappos, Whole Foods, they go broke.
Yeah.
I mean, like, you know, throw everything away because staples in my business. Right. You know, and so they bring you. They didn't get it handled. So every year, the National Speakers association has about a thousand people at least come to their national conference. They're all speakers. So you can.
It's not the national list back time and again.
Yeah, several times a year.
Yeah.
You know, and. And if you get really good, you can just call them up and say, I got something new that I, I know your team's gonna like, when can you book me? And they say, shit, there's association. There's. No one's. No one's listening.
Everybody's in there thinking about, this is how I would speak.
Everybody's talking over each other. And what do we, you know, when do you want me to send you the money? And that's when, you know, you got it dialed in at least a third of the room. At least, Brad, A third of the room is when you can call them up and say, are you ready to pay me again?
Yeah, that's.
And that's will not be back the next year.
Really? Because they just can't make it because they don't. Gotta be a great feeling just to get to book a speech and just get paid for, I mean, an hour of your time, which is more than most people make in a, you know, master mdma. Yep. Yep. And then in a month.
Yeah, well, it's very humbling because.
And that's like you said, that's. That's message delivery, marketing and attitude. Right?
Yeah. And if I could for a moment, you will find. And my sister works her butt off. She's a music teacher in elementary school. And I make. Like you said, I make more in an hour. And any of us will. Where find programs to really get good message. Then she might make in a couple months, two to three months. And. And that's hard for her to handle sometimes.
Yeah.
You'll find good programs about good delivery. Find good great programs about marketing. You'll find maybe some good programs about the attitude of how to handle the client. But I'll tell you why. It's not because I'm better than her at what she does, but the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing is. I haven't found is she's way better as a teacher than I am. She's way better than with kids, than I've ever been. The only difference is there's a boot camp, a sales program, like a training that teaches people how to demand. There's a lot of supply of teachers and all four aspects. And that's what always upset me. I would go to these trainings and I'm not putting down these leaders. They. They taught me a lot, but they got really good at one of those four components. And then that's pretty much all they felt it took. You know, they would just be like, oh, oh, you just gotta market the hell out of yourself. When there's a lot of supply, the demand and the. And the way that you're able to charge is not gonna be there.
Right.
Whereas a speaker. There's. There's a lot of supply of speakers maybe, but there's not a lot of supply of good speakers.
Yeah.
There's not a lot of supplier of speakers that master the. Yeah, that's great. Market hell out of yourself, have good shiny brochures. And that's. That's gonna get You. A lot of first dates. But if you don't have a good message and you suck at delivery and you got a bad attitude to work with, you are not getting a second date. Mdma.
Yeah. Well. And I think the real reason that you get paid so much is simply, you know, because you're in a wheelchair and you look different than most people. And that's your advantage. That. I mean, that's. Right. That is the advantage that you have to have in order to be a speaker. You have to be a little different.
Right.
Isn't that what people. Is that what some people think? That.
That's what a lot of people think.
Right.
And if you think you're going to make it in the industry of speaking without second dates, damn. You're gonna choose to climb uphill every single day.
Yeah. And it's. It's those relationships that you build.
But since you read my sales copy closely, I know you're teeing me up for a good.
That keep paying dividends over and over. I'm sure there's multiple companies that you've. Yes.
A nice rebuttal, which is. That's what most people think. Yeah. And the issue is there's 56 million people in America with a disability. Do you know how many of them go on to be professional?
Spoken for.
They bring you back Zappos, Whole Foods. They are staples in my business.
Right.
You know, and so they bring you.
Back time and again.
Yeah. Several times a year.
Yeah.
You know, and anchors that are successful.
Very few.
About a dozen.
Yeah. You shared. I remember the first time you shared a story. It was awesomeness fest several years ago when we first really kind of connected. And I love this. And I've heard you talk about it on stage a couple times, and it's one of my favorite stories. I'll let you recount it here. But I think you were saying that you went out back in Chicago with.
And if you get really good, you can just call them up and say, I got something.
Some friends of yours and you went to a nightclub.
Yeah.
And you know where I'm going with this.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Go ahead and finish the story, because I think this alone illustrates just not only this point, but a lot of points when it comes to the attitude part of things.
So a buddy of mine, when I would go out my single days, now I'm happily married and knew that I. I know your team's gonna like, when can you book me? And they say, sure, what do we, you know, when do you want me to send you the Money. And that's when you know you got it dialed in, is when you can call them up and say, are you ready to pay me again?
Yeah, that's it. And that's got to be a great feeling just to get to book a speech and just get paid for.
Nightclubs annoy me, actually. But back in the day, they were.
Like, because nobody can dance like you.
Well, that is true.
I mean, you need competition.
Well, when I dance now, I demand at least a million people to watch.
Sometimes four.
Sometimes four million. Yes, but only in the first week.
That's true.
And I like, take the video down, but.
Or I mean, an hour of your time, which is more than most people make in a, you know, in a month.
Yeah, well, it's very humbling because my sister works her butt off. She's a music teacher in elementary school. And I make. Like you said, I make more in an hour. What I had happening back when I was young and single, a younger and single, is I would go out and I would get a whole group of women around me dancing. And my buddy got really jealous and he was like, I don't understand why all these women give you their attention. It's probably because you're in a wheelchair. And it's the same excuse people use. Oh, that's why. That's why you're. You've built a business the way you have. Because you look different. It's because of your wheelchair. Okay. All right. So I tell my buddy, I'm gonna go out tonight when we go dancing. I'm not gonna act like Sean. Then she might make in a couple months, two to three months. And. And that's hard for her to handle sometimes. Yeah, I'm gonna act like a three foot tall man in a wheelchair. And so I actually had to stop and ask myself, how does a three foot tall man in a wheelchair think? Because I don't think that way. I think like Sean Stevenson, a guy like, I have the reverse problem of most people with eating disorders. I don't see myself. But I'll tell you why. It's not because I'm better than her. What she does is she's way better as a teacher than I am. She's way better than with kids, than I've ever been. The only difference is there's a lot of demand. There's a lot of supply. Supply of teachers. And when there's a lot of supply, the demand and the. And the way that you're able to charge is not going to be there.
Right.
Worse off than I Am I see myself better than I am. Yeah, but you're like.
You're like the little dog who thinks he's a rottweiler. Right?
Right. Yeah, I'm straight. I mean, Chihuahuas rule the roots, man. I don't know if you've ever noticed, but you don't mess with a Chihuahua. So, anyway, we go out. I acted all shy. Whereas a speaker, there's. There's a lot of supply of speakers, maybe, but there's not a lot of supply of good speakers.
Yeah.
There's not a lot of supplier of speakers that master the mdma.
Yeah. Well. And I. I think the real reason that you get paid so much is simply, you know, because you're in a wheelchair and you look different than most people, and that's your advantage.
Afraid of my own shadow. No girls wanted to dance with me. No girls wanted to look at me. They walked around me like furniture. My buddy comes running over.
He's like, manage that. I mean, that's right. That is the advantage that you have to have in order to be a speaker. You have to be a little different.
Right.
Isn't that what people. Is that what some people think?
That that's what a lot of people. Sean, I get it. I get it. It's because of you and your energy and your attitude. You bring the party. You. It's through who you are as your energy behind it all. But since you read my sales copy closely, I know you're teeing me up for a good response.
Yes.
A nice rebuttal. Which is. That's what most people think. Yeah. Now, can you please bring the girls back? And, you know, it was in that moment that he realized, I'm just making an excuse for why I'm not coming out of my show to be as confident as Sean. And the issue is there's 56 million people in America with a disability. Do you know how many of them go on to be professional speed acting? Because confidence is what's attractive on stage because they're successful.
Very few.
About a dozen.
Yeah. You shared. I remember the first time you shared a story. It was an awesomeness fest several years ago when we first really kind of.
Connection in a nightclub anywhere. I believe that when you know people, people will always throw at me the excuse of why I have what I have because of my disability. I've had people, literally, I had publishers, a big.
And I love this. And I've heard you talk about it on stage a couple times, and it's one of my favorite stories. I'll let you Recount it here, but I think you were saying that you went out back in Chicago with some. Some friends of yours, and you went to a nightclub.
Yeah. And book publishing say to me, well, we think the only reason why you got to work in the White House is because you were in a wheelchair. And then.
You know where I'm going with this?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Go ahead and finish the story. Because I think this alone, somebody in.
A wheelchair to look good, and I'm like, they have thousands of applicants a year. They take a small number of applicants.
Illustrates just not only this point, but a lot of points when it comes to the attitude part of things.
So a buddy of mine, when I would go out in my single days. Now I'm happily married, and nightclubs annoy me, actually. But back in the day, they were like.
Because nobody can dance like you, and.
They rarely pick somebody with a disability. You think it's because of the disability? No, it's because I worked my ass off first. I became a congressional intern, and I worked for a congressman, and I got great remarks from my congressman. It's because. Well, that is true.
I mean, you need competition.
Well, when I dance now, I work going door to door as an alderman in my ward, and I demand at least a million people to watch.
Sometimes four.
Sometimes four nights. Yes. But only in the first week.
That's true.
And I, like, take the video down. But what I had happening back when I was young and single, younger and single, understanding politics on the local level. And then I understand it. In my poli sci degree, I got incredible marks from my professors. And then because I got a personal letter from the president who had worked with me in another organization is I would go out and said, you know, to the. To the committee, like, yes, Sean is somebody who would be. I would get a whole group of women around me dancing. And my buddy got really jealous, and he was like, I don't understand why all these women give you their attention. It's probably because you're in a wheelchair. And it's the same excuse people use. Perfect. To work in our administration. Like, I busted my ass for that position.
Yeah.
But no different than race or gender sexuality. If somebody wants to point a finger and say, the only reason why this person has this is because you're not. Oh, that's why. That's why you. You've built a business the way you have. Because you look different. It's because of your wheelchair. Okay. All right. So I tell my buddy, I'm gonna go out tonight when we go dancing. I'm not gonna act like Sean gonna argue with them because now they're making.
Excuses for their own.
Don't get it. No explanation will do. For those that get it, no explanation is needed. Right.
And when they. And when they can come up with an excuse like that, it. It frees them. Yeah, it frees.
I'm gonna act like a three foot tall man in it. Wheelchair. And so I actually had to stop and ask myself, how does a three foot tall man in a wheelchair think. Because I don't think that way.
Them from having to. To. To take the next step and to work on themselves because they just go.
Oh, well, y. I think like Sean Stevenson, a guy like, I have the reverse problem of most people with eating disorders. I don't see myself.
That's a barrier I can't get over. I got. I got two.
This is why people still this day hate on me and my wife for our marriage.
Yeah.
You know, like, they'll come out and they'll be like, the only reason why she's with him is because he's rich and she's like, worse off than I am. I see myself better than I am.
Yeah.
Wow. How dumb two things. How dumb do you think I am?
You're like the little dog who thinks he's a rottweiler. Right?
Right.
Yeah.
Chihuahuas rule the roost, man. I don't know if you've ever noticed, but you don't mess with a tr. So anyway, we go out, I acted all shy. There's a lot of rich guys out there. Why would I pick a little dude in a wheelchair? You know, I can pinpoint that guy. Right. When I could have taken a much easier road.
And your wife's beautiful. That's not like.
Right. I mean, and it's insulting me because it's like saying deepish. Afraid of my own shadow. No girls wanted to dance with me. No girls wanted to look at me. There's no other reason why somebody would want to be with me.
Right.
And it's like, wow, thanks for tot. They walk around me like furniture. My buddy comes running over. He's like, sean, Sean, I get it. I get it. It's because of you and your energy and your attitude. You bring the party. It's through who you are as your energy behind it all. Not acknowledging that I'm a human being that has charisma, confidence, a focus, a purpose, a mission. All things that women find attractive. But as soon as they can shoot down, the reason that they think that, you know, is the now can you please bring the girls back. And you know, it was in that moment that he realized, I'm just making an excuse excuse for why I'm not coming out of my show to be as confident as Sean's acting, because confidence is what's attractive on stage, in a nightclub, anywhere. I believe that when you know people, people will always is the magic behind the curtain. I, I responded to somebody and this is off topic for a second, but it's okay. I, I wrote some, somebody on, on Mindy's blog. My wife's name is Mindy Kness. And on Mindy's blog she was like tearing into Mindy, you know, there's no reason why you're really with him other than for the visibility and the money, blah, blah, blah. And I wrote her and I'm like, throw at me the excuse of why I have what I have because of my disability. I've had people, literally, I had publishers, a big name book publishing say to me, well, we think the only reason why you got to work in the White House is because you were in a wheelchair. And they needed somebody in a wheelchair to look good. And I'm like, they have thousands of applicants a year. They take a small number of applicants. What are you trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to play TMZ and like, and like, overturn the truth about what's going on here? Can I tell you, you know, most of our days we work as entrepreneurs, we spend in our pajamas. We watch Shark Tank together, we read. And they rarely pick somebody with a disability. You think it's because of the disability? No, it's because I worked my ass off first. I became a congressional intern and I worked for a congressman and I got great remarks from my congressman. It's because I worked going door to door as an alderman in my ward and I'm going to kindle in bed until, you know, 2:00am we have cereal at about 2:30 in the morning, you know, we curl up, we have wonderful sex life, we absolutely have each other's back. And there's no one else in the world that we care more about than each other standing politics on the local level. And then I understand it in my, that's the truth. If you're going to try to find something else, you're wasting degree. I got incredible marks from my professors. And then because I got a personal letter from the president who had worked with me in another organization and said, you know, to the, to the committee, like, yes, Sean is somebody who would be perfect to work in our administration, like I busted my ass for that position.
Yeah.
Seeing your breath, your time, and you just look stupid.
Right, right.
But no different than race or gender or sexuality.
It's, you know, the, the, the haters out there, it's. And I, And I know you've talked about this before. I mean, you know, used to take it personal and now it's. He takes sympathy on him. And.
Well, I know that, that, that the hurt. If somebody wants to point a finger, say, the only reason why this person has this is because you're not gonna argue with them because now they're making.
Excuses for their own.
Don't get it. No explanation will do. For those that get it, no explanation is needed.
Right. And when they.
And when they can hurt and the heels heal.
Yeah.
You know, and it's like, when people are hurt, the way that they deal with it oftentimes is they go with the knee jerk reaction, which is, I'm in pain. I want you to be in pain.
Yeah. Misery loves company.
Well, yeah. Misery loves to see somebody else in more misery.
Yeah. Come up with an excuse like that. It frees them.
It's.
Yeah. It frees them from having to, to, to take the next step and to work on themselves because they just go, oh, well, that's a barrier I can't get over. I got, I got to.
This is why people still, this day, hate on me and my wife for our marriage.
Yeah.
You know, like, they'll come because it makes.
Yeah, exactly. It alleviates them.
Why do you think people watch Jerry Springer? Yeah. Exactly. At least I'm not that fucked up.
Exactly. You know, and that's. And that's important for people to really understand is that it's not. It's not who you are or I'm sorry, it's not what you look like.
It's not Mountain. They'll be like, the only reason why she's with him is because he's rich. And she's like, wow, how dumb. Two things. How dumb do you think I am that there's a lot of rich guys out there. Why would I pick a little dude in a wheelchair? You know, I can pinpoint that guy right. When I could have taken a much easier road.
And your wife's beauty, the things that have happened to you that made you a successful speaker and somebody who can engage an audience and grab them by their earballs and just not let go. It's the craft that you've perfected. If it's the message, it's the passion in your voice, it's the beautiful that's not like.
Right. I mean, and it's insulting me because it's like saying there's no other reason why somebody would want to be with me.
Right.
And it's like, wow, thanks for totally not acknowledging that I'm a human being that has charisma, confidence.
It's what you deliver. And the fact is there are. There are thousands of highly successful.
A focus, a purpose, a mission, all things that women find attractive. But as soon as they can shoot down the reason that they think that, you know, is the magic behind the curtain. I responded to somebody, and this is off topic for a second, but I wrote somebody on Mindy's blog. My wife's name is Mindy Kness.
Full speakers and perfectly impressive, know, average, normal bodies that, you know, prove. Yeah, it's not. It's not anything special about physical. It's all what's inside. And that's what you deliver better than most people I know.
I believe it's our story. It's your story, Brad, if we can. On Mindy's blog, she was like, tearing into Mindy. You know, there's no reason why you're really with him other than for the visibility and the money, blah, blah, blah. And I wrote her, and I'm like, what are you trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to play TMZ and overturn the truth about what's going on here? Can I tell you, most of our days, we work as entrepreneurs. We spend in our pajamas. We watch Shark Tank together. We read our Kindles in bed until 2am we have seen cereal at about 2:30 in the morning. You know, we curl up. We have wonderful sex life. We absolutely have each other's back. And there's no one else in the world that we care more about than each other. That's the truth. If you're gonna try to find something else, you're wasting your breath, your time, and you just look stupid.
Right. Right. It's, you know, the. The haters out there, it's. And I. And I know you've talked about this before. I mean, you know, used to take it personal, and now it's. You take sympathy on them and.
Well, I know that the hurt hurt and the healed heal.
Yeah.
You know, and it's like, when people are hurt, the way that they deal with it oftentimes is they go with the knee jerk reaction, which is, I'm in pain. I want you to be in pain.
Yeah. Misery loves company.
Well, yeah. Misery loves to see somebody else in more misery.
Yeah. Because it makes. Yeah. Exactly. It alleviates them.
Why do you think people watch Jerry Springer? Exactly. At least I'm not that fucked up.
Exactly. You know, and that's. And that's important for people to really understand is that it's not. It's not who you are or. I'm sorry, it's not what you look like. It's not the things that have happened to you that made you a successful speaker and somebody who can engage an audience and grab them by their earballs and just not let go. It's the craft that you've perfected. If it's the message, it's the passion in your voice, it's the. It's what you deliver. And the fact is there are. There are thousands of highly successful speakers and perfectly, you know, average, normal bodies that, you know, prove. Yeah, it's not. It's not anything special about physical. It's all what's inside, and that's what you deliver better than most people I know.
I believe it's our story. It's your story, Brad. If we took time on this podcast, and even a white guy like yourself who grew up without any major battles, you know, in comparison to, say, somebody who grew up in slavery or whatever, we could.
My parents were pretty strict, though.
I don't know. Right. Yeah, your dad was tough. Right. But if we looked into your past, we would find things that people would be like, wow, I don't think I would want that problem.
Yeah, everybody has it.
I don't think I want to go through that heartache. Yeah. Like, let me ask you. Can we get. We get real for a moment?
Let's do it.
Okay. What is one thing about you, one pain or challenge that you faced in your lifetime that no one would ever guess you had to go through? Wow. So.
That'S a good question. And I'll say that.
Don't tell us the one that you think we want to hear. Tell us the truth.
Right. You sob putting the spotlight on me on my own show. So I'll be the first to say that I did. I did have a happy. I've had a happy life. I've had a happy childhood.
That's not right.
Exactly.
So I will just answer the question.
Yeah. So I'll say that I haven't had any dramatic pain.
No. No. I didn't have time on this podcast. And even a white guy like yourself who grew up without any major battles and, you know, in comparison to, say, somebody who grew up in slavery or whatever, we can.
My parents were pretty strict.
I don't know Right. Yeah. Your dad was tough. Right. But if we ask that I've had to overcome. No, no, I didn't ask that.
Yeah.
What is the one thing that was difficult and challenging that no one would ever expect you had to go through?
So. And I, and I kind of want to. So I don't have dead air because this is a show, people are going to think, oh, wait, the recording stopped. What is something I went through that was extremely challenging and painful that no.
One would ever guess you went through? Maybe a better way to say it. Yeah, you cough it up because it's in there.
It is in there.
Yeah. A better way of looked into your past. We would find things that people would be like, wow, I. I don't think I would want that problem.
Yeah.
I don't.
Everybody has it.
I don't think I want to go through that heartache. Yeah. Like, let me ask you. Can we get. We get real for a moment?
Let's do it.
Okay. What is one thing about you, one pain or asking? It is what would you not wish on people that you love that you went through? That's.
That's a good question. I like.
You're good at challenge that you faced in your lifetime that no one would ever guess.
You had this therapy stuff. You're. Now you're not only a speaker, you're. You're a doctor at this stuff. So I would say that. Wow. So that's a good question. And I'll. And I'll say that hardest. God, I'm not being. I'm not being a good subject here.
Because, you know, you're having a brain fart. You're just feeling like it's not dark enough and you're not.
That might, that might be. But it's also not coming straight to my head.
Okay.
So. And I may have to think about this and we'll come back to it.
But I don't such a put up.
But I.
Tell us the one that you think we want to hear. Tell us the truth.
Right. Use SOB Pulling me, putting the spotlight on me on my own show. So I'll be the first to say that I did. I did have a happy. Don't want to sit here and mumble around.
Wrap this in bacon. We're done.
You know. Well, and I'll say this and it might be because be. I've had a happy life. I've had a happy childhood.
That's not right.
I don't have any of those.
I think it's because you're undervaluing your pain.
That's possible. That's possible. And I think I don't have any super stomach down. Let's go. Exactly.
So I will just answer the question.
Yeah. So I'll say that I haven't had any dramatic pain.
No. I didn't have kindergarten.
Well, I was about to give you kind of an answer.
I don't want kind of an answer.
Well, the answer I was going to give you is this. I have. I'm actually very good. Like maybe you said dumbing down the pain. I'm actually very good at moving away from the pain and putting it in perspective and looking at something that I've had to overcome.
No, no, I didn't ask that.
Yeah.
What is the one thing that was difficult and challenging that no one would ever expect you had to go through?
So deen insane. I'm just going to continue on.
Well, the hard part about that is that doesn't make a good speech.
Right. And this was the hardest part honestly about my apprenticeship training with you and God, this to me, I would think, oh yeah, poor baby lived a charmed life. He can't think of any dramatic pains that he's had. But this honestly was the. And I, and I kind of want to. So I don't have dead air because this is a show, people are going to think, oh wait, the recording stopped. What is something I went through that was extremely challenging and painful that no.
One would ever guess you went through? Maybe a better way to say it. Yeah, you cough it.
I know. But this was the hardest part about coming up with my story.
That's because you're comparing it to mine and others.
Right.
So.
So you know the hardest thing that I probably dealt with.
I'm going to kindergarten on you right now.
Cool.
You're a kindergarten up. Because it's in there.
It is in there.
Yeah. A better way of asking it is what would you not wish on people that you love that you garden kid? This is how I would talk to a kindergartener.
That's a good question.
You're good at what hurt for you to go through.
So the most painful thing that I've probably gone through was when I was in. I graduated college and I decided this therapy stuff, you're not only a speaker, you're a doctor at this stuff. So I would say that the hardest. I'm not being a good subject. I decided to leave home and I moved away to Florida. I left St. Louis where I grew up. I moved to Florida and I actually worked for Walt Disney World for minimum wage right after college. College degree and everything because you know.
You'Re just feeling like it's not dark.
Enough in your neck that might. And I felt as though I was just kind of breaking away B. But it's also not coming straight to my head.
Okay.
So. And doing something like taking charge of my own life and having some fun etc. And my dad was completely non. And I may have to think about this and we'll come back to it.
But I don't such a put off.
But I don't want to sit here.
And mumble around wrap this in bacon, we're done, you know.
Well, and I'll say this and it might be because supportive to say the least.
Right.
It caused a big rift in between us and the. The hardest part about that was that he and I had a good relationship. I don't have any of those.
I think it's because you're undervaluing your pain.
And then all of a sudden I'd always thought of myself as, you know, a good kid who. That's possible. That's possible. And I think I don't have any.
Super dumb it down who did.
Right. I never got in too much trouble. You know the ordinary stuff. And then all of a sudden it was kindergarten. Well, I was about to give you kind of an answer.
Yeah, I don't want kind of an answer.
Well the answer I was gonna give you is this. I have. I'm actually very good. Like maybe you said dumbing down the pain. I'm actually very good at moves. Almost like I adjusted let him down more than, you know, like I couldn't believe it. It kind of blindsided jail or something.
Right.
It blindsided me in being away from the pain and putting it in perspective and looking at something and saying I'm just going to continue on.
Well the hard part about that is.
The lack of belief and the lack of support in what I was doing. Now granted, everything I was doing kind of didn't fly according to his paradigm of the world and. And whatnot. And I get it.
I put my that doesn't make a good speech.
Right. And this was the hardest part. Honestly self in his shoes. And actually maybe one of the reasons that a lot of this stuff doesn't hurt is about my apprenticeship training with you and God. This to me I would think, oh yeah, poor baby. I went through several years of neuro linguistic programming training and I've dealt with. He lived a charmed life. He can't think of any dramatic pains that he's had. But this honestly was the all of my issues to a degree where I'm able to see the positive intent that he had. I know, but this was the hardest part about coming up with my story for me, trying to protect me, trying to make sure that I didn't mess up and doing it in the only way he.
That's only because you're comparing it to mine and others.
Right.
So.
So, you know, the hardest thing that I probably dealt with.
I'm going to kindergarten on you right now.
Cool.
You're a kindergarten knew how.
Which was to show his disappointment and. And say, I can't be a part of this. I can't support what you're doing. Yep.
You realize more this is how I would talk to a kindergartner. What hurt for you to go through. So the people go through that then breaking 200 bones like me.
That's true.
So when people tell me the most.
Painful thing that I've probably gone through was when I was in. I graduated college and I decided, oh.
My story is not as compelling as yours. It's only the way you're looking at it.
And mine's more relatable.
You're more relatable.
So I did to. I decided to leave home and I moved. I moved away to. To Florida. I left St. Louis, where I grew up. I moved to Florida.
And I have to turn it in a different direction. I have to say, essentially without saying it directly, but I went through this, this, this, and this.
But I actually worked for Walt Disney World for minimum wage right after college, college degree and everything. And I felt as though I was just kind of breaking away.
This, this, and this and this after I got through that.
Right.
So mine is. I was here. Now I'm here. Where can you go? That's kind of been mine.
And doing something like taking charge of my own life and having some fun.
It's right. Right for you. It's the format of etc.
And my dad was completely non.
You and I, we have a lot more in common than you might.
Supportive, to say the least. It caused a big rift in between us. And the. The hardest part about that was that he and I had a good relationship.
And you have to take the approach of, you know, I'm not. I'm not gonna say that I was in. I survived an airplane crash. I'm not gonna say.
And then all of a sudden. And I'd always thought of myself as, you know, a good kid who say.
I'm a survivor of sexual assault. I'm not gonna say that. You know, I saved 10 kids who did.
Right. I never got in too much trouble. You know, the. The ordinary stuff. And then all of a sudden it was almost like I had just let him down more than, you know, from a burning building.
I'm gonna say I'm a kid that grew up with great parents.
Like I couldn't believe it. It kind of blindsided jail or something. Right? It blindsided me.
One date.
The support was revoked.
That one day he didn't feel like he had. He had a good connection anymore with his parents.
The lack of belief and the lack of support in what I was doing now granted everything I was doing.
He lost a big part of his identity. And how many people in here have ever had a separation in some ways where they didn't feel supported by their family? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Hand kind of didn't fly according to his paradigm of the world and. And whatnot. And I get it. I put myself in his shoes. And actually maybe one of the reasons that a lot of this stuff doesn't hurt as much as I went through several years of neuro linguistic programming training and I've dealt with. Yeah, that's a good point.
And you. When I'm working with my coaching clients.
All of my issues to a degree where I'm able to see the positive.
Intent that he had their speakers. I don't look at how can I.
Make you little me's for me trying to protect me. Trying to make sure that I didn't mess up. And doing it in the only way he knew how. Which was to show his disappointment and say I can't be a part of you.
And I talked about this just today in our banter.
Yeah.
What drives us nuts are gurus that make carbon copies of themselves. God, I hate that this.
I can't support what you're doing. Yep.
You realize it sickens me because I know what's gonna happen. Only the guru gets. People go through that then breaking 200 bones. Rich.
Yep.
The carbon copies look like idiots. Yeah.
That's true.
And I like me.
That's true.
So when people tell me the. That oh, my story is not as compelling as yours.
I do want to because my father may very well be watching this. But I do want to say that the relationship.
Your boy does not love you any. It's only the way you're looking at it.
And mine's more relatable.
You're more relatable. So I.
The relationship was strained for a couple years and I took it really hard.
I have to turn it in a different direction. I have to say.
Essentially, it was a time where I had moved away. I was on my own. No family down there, just some friends.
Out saying it directly. But I went through this, this, this, and this. But I did this, this, and this and this. After I got through that.
Right. And the support would have meant the world to me because it meant he believed in me. But then we, you know, I made some other changes. I moved away. We repaired that. My father.
Mine is. I was here, now I'm here. Where can you go? That's kind of been my stronger by. It made me.
It made me a lot stronger. It also made me realize that. Okay, listen.
Right, right. For you, it's the format of.
If. If he's not going to believe in me for what I'm doing.
You and I, we have a lot more in common than you might think. And you have to take the approach of.
Doing right now. That just means I have to believe in myself even more. I have to. I have to strengthen that resolve and prove that. Listen, I'm not. I'm not making a mistake.
I'm betting, you know, I'm not. I'm not gonna say that I was in. I survived an airplane crash. I'm not gonna say on me.
And I'm gonna take, you know, all that strength and.
And put say I'm a survivor of sexual assault. I'm not gonna say that. You know, I saved 10 kids forward and it.
And it worked. And my dad and I repaired our relationship wonderfully. Where he's my burning building.
I'm gonna say I'm a kid that grew up with great parents.
That one day the support was revoked. That one day best friend and we, you know, get along unbelievably well. And I. And I quickly forgave the. We even joke about it now. But I forgave that because he didn't.
Feel like he had. He had a good connection anymore with his parents.
I think it's really important for people to realize that when people do that, there is that positive intent.
He lost a big part of his identity. And how many people in here have ever had a separation in some ways where they didn't feel supported by their family? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hands are up.
Yeah, that's a good point. And you.
When I'm working with my coaching client, he.
He wasn't trying to be mean. He wasn't trying to be that.
He was concerned that are speakers I don't look at. How can I make you little me's.
Was his only way of demonstrating that was to kind of shut off. And I think that's important for everybody to realize. And I see where you're going here. We did talk about this. Now that I remember about it year ago.
You and I talked about this just today in our banter.
Yeah.
What drives us nuts, our goo was.
His only way of demonstrating that was to kind of shut off. And I think that's important for everybody to realize. And I see where you're going here. We did talk about this now that I remember about it a year ago and during our training. But yeah, it's. Sometimes I feel bad that that's the.
Maybe the most cruise that make carbon copies of themselves.
God, I hate that going during our training. But yeah, it's.
Yeah, it sickens me because I know what's going to happen. Only the guru gets traumatic.
Emotionally traumatic thing I've went through, I've had ups and downs. I've lost a bunch of money and.
I've see but that's the thing. The things that were hard on you. Let me put this way. The things that you got through that were. That weren't easy.
Yeah.
But you got through them. Other people would have crushed other people.
Sometimes I feel bad that that's the maybe the most rich. Yep.
The carbon copies look like idiots.
Yeah, that's true.
And I. And you downplay them. You know, you've told me that like you came out, you were doing something, you. You made a bunch of money and then you invested it and then it all disappeared.
Yeah.
That. That might have crushed majority of people to ever want to keep going in business. And you're just like. I mean I didn't come out of slavery.
Yeah. Traumatic, emotionally traumatic thing I've went through, I've had ups and downs. I've lost a bunch of money. I do want to. Because my father may very well be watching this. But I do want to say that the.
And I've see but that's the thing. The things that were hard on you.
The. The relationship.
So the boy does not love you. Most people don't come out of slavery that are going to be in your audience. Most people are going to lose a lot of money though.
Yeah. Or support.
There are more people that will make bad investments that will then will survive a rare bone disorder that keeps them three feet tall in a wheelchair. Most people will deal with a severing. Let me put this way. The things that you got through, they were.
The. The relationship was strained for a couple years and I took it really hard.
And their relationship with their parents then will ever deal with some form of massive obstacle that only a small percentage of the population Everest face. So when I'm working with somebody who wants to be a speaker, I don't say, how can we find the most traumatic thing and make it even. They weren't easy. Yeah, but you got through them. Other people would have crushed other people.
It was a time where I had moved away. I was on my own. No family down there. Just. Just some friends. And the support would have meant the world to me because it meant he believed in me. But then we. Right.
And you downplay them. You know, you've told me they like, you came out, you were doing something, you. You made a bunch of money and then you invested it and then it all disappeared.
Yeah.
More traumatic. No, I say tell me about your life.
Yeah.
Because I would play up the strength that you sometimes feel bad that you have first world problems. Right. Sometimes that makes you feel bad that.
You even, you know, I made some other changes. I moved away. We repaired that.
My feel bad. I mean, sometimes. Have you ever felt bad for feeling bad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the time.
Like a spoiled little brat. Like, wow, here I am in this gorgeous place that I live in San Diego, California with a beautiful girlfriend and like I got all these great friends and I'm bitching because something's wrong with my shopping cart. Stronger. But it made me.
It made me a lot stronger. Also made me realize that, okay, listen, that.
That might have crushed majority of people to ever want to keep going in bisdom for my launch. Right?
Yeah. You're talking. Yeah. I think I went through. I think I went through that last week.
Okay.
But no, exactly like that. And it does make it hard to almost experience that emotion because you, You. You tell yourself, oh, you're. You're bad for experiencing that emotion and you bottle it up. And then.
Well, and that's where I come in.
If. If he's not gonna believe in me for what I'm doing.
And you're just like, I mean, I didn't come out of slavery.
Yeah. I mean, right now that just means I have to believe in myself even more. I have to. I have to strengthen that resolve and prove that, listen, I'm not. I'm not making a mistake.
I'm betting most people don't come out of slavery that are going to be in your audience. Most people are.
Right.
And that's what I tell people. People. The resistance of an emotion is far more detrimental than any emotion.
Right.
And that's why the reason why I kept forcing you on your own show to tell me about some of the challenges you've had or a challenge that you faced is that I know that.
It'S hard for you on me. And I'm gonna take, you know all that strength and and push 2.
2. Admit to yourself that you've had pain.
Yeah.
Because you're comparing it to other people's pain and you feel guilty that you even acknowledge your own pain. But look, this is why when I see somebody breaks their finger I like when I lose a lot of money though.
Yeah. Or support.
There are more people that will make bad investments that will then will survive a rare bone disorder.
Forward and it worked. And my dad and I repaired our relationship wonderfully.
Where he's my keeps them three feet tall in a wheelchair. Right. Most people will deal with a severing and reach out to them. I'm like oh my God, what happened? Tell me about it. You know, I might tease them like ooh, tough guy broke his finger. You know. But in the end that one broken bone if that's all he's ever broken is everything to them as the 200 I've broken.
Right.
And. And that's what brings me close to the human race.
Best friend. And we you know get along unbelievably well. And I and I quickly forgave the we even joke about it now but I forgave that because relationship with their.
Parents then we'll ever deal with some is that I don't try to say that my pain is superior to your pain. And I'm thankful that I got that at an early age. That a paper cut if it's all you've ever experienced is as painful as having a severed arm if that's all you've ever experienced. Because the brain doesn't have the ability.
I think it's really important for people to realize that when people do that there is that positive intent form of.
Massive obstacle that only a small percentage of the population to fathom. Even though we have mirror neurons and empathy and all that, we can't fully embody what someone else is going through.
You're right. You're right. And you know back kind of steering this back towards what I think was amazing to watch you do with the small group of Auntie he wasn't trying to be mean. He wasn't trying to be that. He was concerned face.
So when I'm working with somebody who wants to be five or six of.
Us who apprenticed with you is what you Just did to me. And was his only way of demonstrating that was to kind of shut off. And I think that's. I watched you do this with everybody's story because everybody thinks, you know, that we've got this kind of. Kind of a story, and it's maybe malformed or it's not quite there. It's just this gelatinous hump. And you're really able to pull that out and show it. Important for everybody to realize. And I see where you're going here. We did talk about this. Now that I remember about it.
You're a speaker. I don't say, how can we find the most traumatic thing and make it even more traumatic? No, I say, tell me about your life.
Yeah. Back to us like a mirror and say, this is how you craft your experience. Even though. During our training. But yeah, it's. If it was one experience like that into a dramatic opening, into a hook, into something that's going to grab somebody. Make them relate to you for your speech. Make them listen to every single word you got, and then craft your message based upon those experiences.
Because I would play up the strength that in this moment, I'd like to do one more thing.
Yes. Sometimes I feel bad that that's the. Maybe the most.
I'd like to craft a bit of your story.
Do it.
I'm going to play the part of Brad Costanza.
Sweet.
I'm going to be making up some of the details because I wasn't there.
That's cool.
But you could. You sometimes feel bad that you have first world problems. Fill in the truth to some of my fabrication. But I'm going to try to make it as realistic as possible.
Nice.
I'm the keynoter. I'm Brad Costanzo. I'm standing on stage. I'm thinking about the audience is there for them, not me. And I open with the line, dad, once. Right. Sometimes that makes you feel bad that you even. Why can't you just be proud of me? And I pause and I pace and I make the audience wait. What do I need to do to get this man to be proud of me? Feel bad? I mean, sometimes. Have you ever felt bad for feeling bad?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the time.
Like a spoiled little brat. Like, wow, here I am in this gorgeous. I mean, I never. I never broke the law. Yeah, sure, I might have had a little pot, but I mean, what kid doesn't do a little pot, dad? It's not like I didn't make the honor roll. I always made the honor roll, dad. All I want from you more than anything is to know that I have what it takes. And it doesn't matter what happens. You have my back place that I live in San Diego, California, with a beautiful girlfriend. And like I always. Why is that so hard for you? If I could just have that dad, that'd be worth more money than I could ever make. Look at the audience. Who's been that person? These great friends. And I'm bitching because something's wrong with my shopping cart system for my launch. Right.
Yeah. You're talking. Yeah.
In your life. Who is that one person that you are? I think I went through.
I think I went through that last week.
Okay.
But no, exactly like that. And it does traumatic, emotionally traumatic thing I've went through, I've had ups and downs. I've lost a bunch of money and I've.
See, but that's the thing. The things that were hard on you. Let me put this way. The things that you got through that were starving for or so starved in your past, they weren't easy.
Yeah.
But you got through them. Other people would have crushed other people.
Right.
And you downplay them. You know, you've told me that like you came out, you were doing something, you. You made a bunch of money and then you invested it and then it all disappeared.
Yeah.
That. That might have crushed majority of people to ever want to keep going in business for their approval and their admiration. And I'm here to tell you that you can't get it. You can't seek it externally. It's not their job to approve of your life. And you're just like, I mean, I didn't come out of slavery. Yeah. It's your job to approve of what you do in your life. And if you get it from your parents, get it from your lover, if you get it from your friends, that's wonderful. That's awesome. But if you don't give it to your.
Does make it hard to almost experience that emotion because you, you. You tell yourself, oh, you're so.
You're gonna be like an addict searching around for the. Most people don't come out of slavery that are gonna be in your audience. Most people are next person to get your next hit of admiration scene. And that's.
Damn. You're bad for experiencing that emotion. And you bottle it up and then.
Well, that's where I come in. You go, right.
Dude, I should be paying you for this. Wait a minute. Right.
That's where I tell people the resistance of an emotion is far more detrimental than any emotion.
Right.
And that's why the reason why I kept heard when I was a lot of money.
Yeah. Or support.
There are more people that will make bad investments that will then will survive a rare bone disorder.
I did pay you a lot of money for this.
This is continuation of your payment. So it's. It's taking a story. Now everybody in the audience would have been. I mean you were listening to your own audience. You were listening to your own life and enamored.
Yeah.
I watched you like you sat back and keeps them three feet tall and in a wheelchair. Right. Most people will deal with a severing and watched your own life unfold on stage.
Yeah.
And that's because I walked you through a system. I started off telling you a story. I said dad. A relationship with their parents. Then we'll ever deal with some forcing you on your own show to tell me about some of the challenges you've had or eight. What can I do to just get your approval now I'm thinking how old is he? Where is he at? I'm, I'm. I'm starving for more details of the story. Challenge that you faced is that I know that it's hard for you to. To admit to yourself that you've had. Right. You have me hooked. You started in the middle of the story. You didn't say welcome, everybody. My name is Brad Costanzo and I'd like to tell you a story about a time pain.
Yeah.
Because you're comparing it to other people's pain and you feel a massive obstacle that only a small percentage of the population Everest face. So when I'm working with somebody who wants to be as when I graduated college, you know, I just didn't get my father's approval. Boring. I'm dead. I'm out. I'm already brain dead to you.
Yep. Audience is checking their Facebook and their phone.
Whereas when you say dad, dad. What do I have to take her? I don't say how can we find the most traumatic thing and make it even do to get you to be proud of me. It's all I want. Now everybody in the audience has suspended disbelief. And they're like, ah, I want my mom more traumatic. No. I say tell me about your life.
Yeah.
Guilty that you even acknowledge your own pain. But look, this is why mom's approval. I wanted my grandfather's. I wanted my uncle. I wanted my wrestling coach. Everybody has at least one person in their life, in their present or their past that they feel like God, they didn't love me the way I wanted to be. Loved. That's how you jack into their mind. That's how. Because I would play up the strength that when I see somebody breaks their finger, I like reach out to them. I'm like, oh my God, what happened? Tell me about it. You know, I might tease them like, ooh, tell me tough guy broke his finger. You know, but in the end, that you sometimes feel bad that you have first world problem. You jack into their soul. That's how you stream direct consciousness to them of your message. It's not. Good afternoon, everybody. I'm gonna tell you three stories today. One's gonna be a very personal one about my father. Then we're gonna talk about a business failure. We're gonna finish up and talk to you about. Right. Sometimes that makes you feel bad that you even. Something I learned from working at Walt Disney World. Is everybody ready? Here we go. I'm now going to do a magic trick, you know, like, good God, feel bad. I mean, sometimes. Have you ever felt bad for feeling bad?
Yeah. Yeah.
That one broken bone. If that's all I've ever broken is everything to them as the two. And that's how most people speak.
Yeah.
Most people get up on stage and they say, I'd like to apologize. I'm not that prepared.
Oh, yeah, never apologize.
Never apologize. Because what would you do if you got an airplane? And the pilot said, good afternoon, everybody. I. I gotta say, I'm stirred. I've broken.
Right.
And. And that's what brings me close to the. The human race, is that I don't try to say that my pain is superior to your pain. And I'm thankful that I got that at an early age that a paper cut. If a spoiled little brat like, wow, here I am in this gorgeous place that I live in, San Diego, California, with a beautiful girlfriend. And like I always. I'm sorry that I am really tired today.
I really hung over.
Didn't get much sleep last night. I was hooking up with this hooker. And I'm hoping that the coke has gotten out of my system by now. And buckle up. We're gonna be flying at an altitude of 30,000ft. He's great friends. And I'm bitching because something's wrong with my shopping cart. Like you would be racing for the exit. Right, right. And that's what speakers do. They get up on stage and they at least amateurs. They apologize for being nervous, for being not prepared for whatever. And they'll even trust them for my launch. Right?
Yeah. You're talking. Yeah.
They'll try to think they think they're being funny by cracking jokes about how uncomfortable. All you've ever experienced is as painful as having a severed arm. If that's all you've ever heard, how uncomfortable they are, they just make it worse.
Yep. Yeah. You're so right. There's so many things that people shouldn't do. There's so many things that just. They. They can ruin. Like, oh, guys, I'm not a. I'm not a good public speaker. You know, they start off saying that, or they apologize ahead of time. They think, I went through. I think I went through that last week.
Okay.
But not exactly like that.
And it does experience because the brain doesn't have the ability to fathom, even though we have mirror neurons and does.
Make it hard to almost experience that emotion because you tell yourself, oh, you're bad for experiencing that emotion, and you bottle it up. And then.
Well, and that's where I come in.
Some of the most boneheaded mistakes just by removing some of those that we went through.
And what made that story compelling.
Yeah.
Is I turned the camera from me to the audience and I said, who in your life.
Right.
Are you starving for admiration and attention? You know? Right. And that's what I tell people. The resistance of an emotion is far more detrimental. And then all of a sudden, everybody's like, God, that's my uncle, my grandfather, my mother. And now the audience, they were already thinking it, but now you've given them permission to say it internally. Right.
And to take this even deeper, you didn't resolve the conflict.
No.
Well, I'm. I. I'm sure you would have resolved.
Mental than any emotion.
Right.
And that's why the reason why I.
Kept that around the end of this speech, maybe. Right. Or just leave them hanging.
The resolution could be in a book.
Right.
Resolution could be in a program. Here's the issue. I don't believe in cutting people open, having them bleed to death and be like, hey, I got band aids. Forcing you on your own show to tell me about some of the challenges you've had or athlete and all that. We can't fully embody what someone else is going through.
You're right. You're right. And, you know, kind of steering this back towards what I think was amazing to watch you do with this small group of, like, five or six of us who apprenticed with you. What is what you just did to.
Me in my truck for 1995? I don't believe in that. I do believe, though, challenge that you faced is that I know that it's hard for you and saying, hey, like, dude, you gotta admit you're in pain. And I'm gonna. Because most people try to act like they're not in pain. Yeah, most people act like they have it all together. We were just talking about this today, weren't we? Most people act like they have it all together. And those people are the most annoying shitheads on the planet. To. To. To admit to yourself that you've had me. Because I know they're full of it. I know that they are in so much pain that they're trying to put on a Persona. Look, I'm the first person to say I got issues in my health, my wealth and relationships, and yet I figured out a lot of things.
Things I. I watched you do this with everybody's story because everybody thinks, you know, that we've got this.
And then there's other things that I figured out, but I'm still not doing right. And so. Yeah, because you're comparing it to other people's pain, and you feel kind of.
Kind of a story, and it's maybe malformed or it's not quite there.
It's just this guilty that you even acknowledge your own pain. But look, this is why. So that level of authenticity is what people are craving, People are creating. Often when I see somebody breaks their finger, I like rheticity and leadership more than information and credibility.
Yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't agree more. It's. And it's so. It's so rare out there because there is so much inauthenticity and there's so much noise in the system that when they feel. And you know, with social media, we're more connected, but we're less connected than ever before. So when you do, when you are able to make those emotional connections, and that's one of the strongest part about your. Your speech.
I'm like, oh, my God, what happened? Tell me about it. You know, I might tease them.
You are able to tap into people's emotions and make them feel the ups and the downs on a roller coaster. So, you know, you're. The original name of your program was Standing Gelatinous Hump. And you're really able to pull that out and show it back to us like a mirror and say, this is how you craft your experience. Even innovation Secrets and Standing innovations is not about Standing Ovation system. Right. And it's not about, in my mind and probably yours, that if it was one experience like that into a dramatic opening, into a hook, into something that's.
Going to grow like, ooh, tough guy broke his finger. You know.
But in the end that it's not about. People are giving you a standing ovation because of how awesome you were. They're giving you a standing ovation because of the ride you took them on the journey.
The system. I took them.
Grab somebody. Make them relate to you for your speech. Make them listen to every single word you've got. And then craft your message based upon those experiences.
One broken bone. If that's all you've ever broken is everything to them as the 200 I've broken.
Right.
And. And that's what brings me close to the human race as a system that I went through as a speaker.
Right.
And I am guaranteed if people followed my system of the MDMA formula they. They handled. Then there's little subsets of Mark. Little subsets of messaging. Little subsets of delivery. Subsets of marketing substance. That too. But is that. I don't try to say that my pain is superior to your pain. And I'm. When you implement them. You could take that Brad Costanzo white guy with first world problems. Get him up on stage. Have people crying at people in this moment. I'd like to do one more thing.
Yes.
Both in. Man. I just need to stop trying to get my father's approval. I need to go out and feel good about myself. And they march out there going, wow. That Brad Costanzo guy's one of them. Thankful that I got that at an early age. That a paper cut. If I'd like to craft a bit of your story.
Do it.
I'm going to. Best speakers alive. Why not? Because you were an amazing speaker. Even though hopefully you were. But because you had them. Here's what I think public speaking is. I. It's all you've ever experienced is as painful as having a second severed arm. If that's all you've ever. I came up with this after SOS Public speaking is a transference of experience because the brain doesn't have the ability of ideas and a shifting of emotion.
I like that.
That's all public speaking is. You transfer ideas and you shift emotions.
I take that. Yeah.
To fathom. Even though we have mirror neurons.
And that's what effective public speaking is. There's a lot of public speaking. That's what public speaking is.
Talking.
Right.
The effect of public speaking is play the part of Brad Castanza.
Sweet.
I'm going to be making up some of the details because I wasn't there.
That's cool.
But you could fill in the truth to some of My fabrication. Because you gotta have both. Because if you just shift emotions, people go out going, wow, that was. That was great. But what did we learn? I don't think we learned anything. And then if you just shared the tea and all that, we can't fully embody what someone else is going through.
You're right.
Good information. But you don't shift emotions. People go, wow, I learned a lot. But that was really dry.
Yeah, yeah, that's.
But I'm gonna try to make it as realistic as possible.
Nice.
I'm the keynoter.
You're right. And, you know, back kind of steering this.
I'm Brad Costanzo. I'm standing on stage, I'm thinking about.
And it's profound when you. When you make those changes. And as I said, I. I've made those in small groups. I've used quite a few of your back towards what I think was amazing to watch you do with this small group of tactics and strategies, as well as the deeper work that you've done. And I need to continue to do that deeper work. And that's one of the reasons I'm coming back to the speaking event that you've got. Let's talk a little bit about that. Because we started off saying that, listen, one of the things you're doing right now, five or six of us who apprenticed with you, what is what you just did to me.
And the audience is there for them, not me. And I open as you're transitioning your.
Life and your business, being on the.
Road is a prince to a king.
Exactly. And being on the road is hard for you. Right. For a lot of physical reasons. I watch you do this with everybody's story because everybody thinks we've got this. You can't do 40 cities in a year. I mean, it wears. Yeah, exactly. It wears you out. And you'd much rather be at home with your beautiful wife and serving with.
A line dad.
Kind of a story. And it's maybe malformed or it's not quite there. It's just this gelatinous hump. And you're really able to pull that out and show it people in. In a way that's much more efficient, effective. And you've transitioned to now. Yeah, Being the. Going from the Jedi to the Master, teaching other people how to. Transferring these skill sets to them. Like, you know, you started with a small group.
Why can't you just be proud of me? And I pause and I pace and I make the audience wait.
Vas. And now you're putting on what is looking to be a remarkable event. You've got some of the most world class entrepreneurs, public speakers, like just a really diverse group of people coming out. What's the real, you know, and once more, the website if you want to go check this out. If you want some information, there's going to be a link on there, but it's Sean stevenson.com 10k. What's your real goal and mission for this event?
What do I need to do to get this man to be proud of me?
Back to us like a mirror and say this is how you craft your experience, even if it was one experience like that, into a dramatic opening, into a hook, into something that's gonna grow.
To make the maximum amount of money.
Make money.
I mean that's my. One of my goals. Yeah. And I'd rather just be transparent about that.
Grab somebody, make them relate to you for your speech. Make them.
I mean I never, I never broke the law. I mean, yeah, sure is to make the maximum amount of money, but in exchange for, you know, I might have had a little pot, but I mean what kid doesn't do a little pot?
Listen to every single word you've got and then craft your message based upon those experiences.
And I. Creating world leaders.
Yeah, this is not about you. We were talking about this. You're not trying to make people good public.
No, because if I make good speakers, they'll go out, they'll do one or two speeches, they'll make some money, they'll more than, you know, 10x their value from coming to the event. But that's not what inspired dad. It's not like I didn't make the honor roll. I've always made the honor roll, dad. All I want from you more than anything is to know that I have in this moment. I'd like to do one more thing.
Yes?
I don't want more public speakers in this planet. What I want is I want people that become world leaders. And I don't mean like political leaders per se, but I mean they have a mission, they have a message, they. They've solved a problem in their life. I'd like to craft a bit of your story.
Do it.
I'm going to play the part of Brad Castanza.
Sweet.
I have what it takes. And it doesn't matter what happens, you have my back. Why is that so hard for you? If I could just have that help many people out there who don't have the solution. For instance, I met. I met a speaker once who, when she was 31. She was married for a few Years. And her husband died, and she was 31, and she was a widow. And she was like, wow, this is supposed to happen when I'm 67. I'm gonna be making up some of the details because I wasn't there.
That's cool.
But you could be 80, 90 years old. Like, I'm 31. What do I do now? I have this scarlet letter of being a widow. Like, I didn't end my relationship. I love this man. Am I ever gonna find a man again? And she couldn't find any support system on grieving that made sense to her.
Right. It was all geared towards a.
To fill in the truth to some of my fabrication. But I'm gonna try to make it as realistic as possible.
Nice.
I'm the keynote.
Totally different situation.
And yet there are people whose husbands are killed in Iraq or wives are killed in battle or. Or somebody dies of cancer or, you know, something happens and they lose their partner. And so she created a grief program for a demographic that wasn't being spoken to. That dad, that'd be worth more money than I could ever make. Look at the audience. Who's been that person? I'm Brad Costanzo. I'm standing on stage. I'm thinking about. And she is a happy, chipper, bright person. She still misses her husband today, but I think she's remarried with kids. And, you know, like, she built her whole career around one of the most painful moments of her life. You know, I've met people who were tortured, am as war criminal. The audience is there for them, not me. And I open in your life, who is that one person that you are starving for or starved in your past? I've met people that were tortured in child abuse cases. I met people who, you know, have gone through horrific things. I met people who lost everything financially, who lost everything in their life to natural disaster. I mean, difficult challenges. That said, that's it. I have a story here. I have a message here. And then I met him with a line dad. For their approval and their admiration. Why can't you just be proud of me? And I pause to tell you that you can't get it. You can't seek it. People who just had a passion for accounting, they had. They didn't survive any airplane crash. They. They didn't have a, you know, a third arm coming out of their back. Like, there was nothing unique about them physically. They were so passionate about accounting. They knew that there was ways that people could legally. And I pace and I make the audience wait. Externally, it's not their Job to approve of your life. What do I need to do to get this man to be proud of me? Save more money and keep more money in their family that was rightfully theirs. And man, they were passionate about that and you couldn't shut them up about it. And so they became incredible accounting speakers and they saved companies and individuals a lot of money. And that was their, that was their mission. Yeah, it's your job to approve of what you do in your life. And I mean, I never, I never broke the law. I mean, yeah, sure.
And it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be all super emotional. It doesn't have to be.
Always have to be motivational. Yeah, I, I'm, I got a lot of lawyers and doctors. I, I have a lot of people coming to this event who may never do a single keynote presentation in their life. But they know that they have to get. If you get it from your parents, if you get it from your lover, if you get it from your friends, that's. You know, I might have had a little pot, but I mean, what kid doesn't do a little pot? Dad, it's not like I did make the honor roll. I've always made the honor roll. Good at presenting, right? Everybody at some point in their life has to make a presentation. Whether it's a webinar, whether it's a small group of 10 people, whether that's investors, whether they have to make a pitch, whether they have any time. You have to transfer an idea and shift an emotion. You need to be good at speaking. Wonderful. That's awesome. But if you don't give it to yourself, you're gonna be like an addict searching around for the death. All I want from you more than anything is to know that I have next person to get your next hit of admiration.
Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. So you're going to, you're gonna bring people into it. It's a three day workshop, right? Three or four.
It's two and a half. Cool. Starts on the 13th, registration and then 14, 15 all day and it's over on noon on the 16th.
Nice.
So have what it takes. And it doesn't matter what happens. You have my back. Why is that so hard for you? If I could just have that.
We. Because I'm going to be there.
Yeah.
We are going to be listening to you break down your system. I'm sure, I'm quite positive. We're going to be doing some activities and work to bring out our own stories. I have a feeling it's not going to be a completely complacent sit back.
And take one way relation that dad, that'd be worth more money than I could ever make seem. And that's them. There you go. Right Equally Brad. Right.
Dude, I should be paying you for this. Wait a minute. I did pay you a lot of money for this.
This is continuation of your payment one way relationship.
I know you too good too well for that. We are going. You've got some guest speakers lined up as well, right?
Yeah, yeah. Some of the best. Yeah. You know I've got my wife, Mindy Knees is an incredible speaker. You saw her awesomeness fest.
Yep.
And she was also in my apprenticeship program.
How much did she have to pay to get on that stage?
Yeah, let me tell you. So it's. It's taking a story now. It was a hefty fee. She probably ended up paying a lot more than you did.
That's probably. She can't get away.
So anyway, she's gonna be talking about stage presence. She has an incredible stage presence.
Yeah, she does.
We're gonna be talking about that. We have Jay Abraham, one of the best marketers alive.
Yep.
Talk about positioning. We got Joe Polish, one of the best networkers alive. Dean Graziosi, one of the best sales people alive. Larry Wingett, one of the best speakers alive.
Seiko Andrews.
Seiko Andrews, one of the best poets alive. Talking about using the spoken word. Kyle Cease, one of the best comedians everybody in the audience would have been. I mean you were listening to your own audience. You were listening to your own likes.
One of the funniest motivational.
Have you met him?
Yeah, I met him a couple times. I can't remember where maybe Austin is Fest or something like that.
So it's who I consider my mentors. I reached out and enamored. I watched you like you sat back and to over the years and I wanted to gather them in one room for everybody to have access to because I could talk to you for days. But why not learn from my mentors and me at the same time right.
Now I'm so looking forward to it. Just not only the, you know, the content which will be a great refresher for me. I kind of feel like I'm at an advantage because for me it'll be a refresher. Although I know you're adding a lot.
More stuff that actually everybody that goes through this program gets the program that you went through.
Oh, nice.
Granted, they weren't there for the live. Live training. Yeah. So they didn't get to Ask questions and all that, but they get the recordings of everything that you went. Watched your own life unfold on stage.
Yeah.
And that's because I walked you through a system. I started off telling you a story. I said, dad, yeah.
And spend a heck of a lot less. Invest.
Yeah. I mean, four grand.
Yeah.
We're paying 14.97.
Yeah. Yeah. That's. That's cheap. And they get the benefit.
What can I do to just get your approval Now I'm thinking, how old is he with it?
Of not only interacting with other speakers, your mentor, some of the top people in the business, but this business is where, you know, it's. Relationships are made. You know, we're not. I don't want to die.
Where is he at? I'm, I'm, I'm starving for more details of the story. Story.
I've been too much into the advocate marketing tactics or strategy that you have on here because I want to save that for the people who get their butts to your, to your event. Plus I kind of want to keep that one in my pocket because it is so freaking powerful. You know, they, they say it's who you know, but I think, I think it's the relationships you grow.
Yeah. Who knows you.
And I've never. Yeah. And it's. I've never seen such a powerful tactic. Call it a tactic strat. Because it's a, It's a strategy. It's a long game for, for growing. I don't even say. Right.
You have me hooked. You started in the middle of the story.
You didn't say relationships for growing rock solid bonds that can help.
Welcome everybody. My name is Brad Costanzo and I'd like to tell you a story about a time that when I graduated college, you know, I just didn't get my father's appointment.
Advocates that it's a strategy that you employ that absolutely anybody can duplicate. It is not rocket science. It is very easy to do and it is one of the most effective.
And I learned it in a book for like five bucks.
Right. It's.
It's worth boring. I'm dead. I'm out. I'm already brain dead to you.
Yeah. Thousands. It is worth thousands, guys. I'm telling you.
Hundreds of thousands to me every year.
If, if hopefully this part is on the recording of the, the folks who do get the, the course that I went through. Right. All the, all the recordings. So I remember when you did that. One of the first things I said.
Is, I said that was worth the price.
I said right there. Boom.
That's my four grand.
Yep.
Four grand. That paid my four grand.
I would have paid for that. Audiences check in there, Facebook and their phone.
Whereas when you say dad idea alone.
And I would not have come up with it myself. I'm a very good network. I've asked a couple people, what. What am I known for? And, you know, what do you think I'm good at? And everybody says you're a really good connector. You. You seem to make relationships with a lot of people, and I am good at that. And that being said, I've never seen anything this dad.
What do I have to just so good. And I just put it on steroids.
Yeah, you really did. And it shows because, I mean, you got the guns.
Boom.
To prove it. But. So I want to. I want to save that. I was gonna talk about it, but I want to save that for folks who show up.
Maybe just get you to be proud of me. It's all I want. Now. Everybody in the audience has suspended disbelief, and they're like, ah, I want my money. Someday we'll talk about it on bacon wrap business.
We might. We might make that a black label show.
Yeah, maybe we'll charge for that.
Yes. I'm actually let my listeners know right now. I'm going to have a. I'm gonna. I'm gonna call it Black Label Bacon or something like that. That's gonna be my private, like, extra crispy, extra crispy black label gourmet bacon list where mom's approval.
I wanted my grandfather's approval. I wanted my uncle. I wanted my wrestling coach. Every Canadian bacon.
Canadian bacon now. So, yeah, one of the things I. Very soon I'm going to be doing is something like this where we're. I'm gonna say, all right, Sean, we're gonna save this one for the black label subscribers.
Free Buddy has at least one person in their life.
The extra crispy subscribers. And we're gonna put that in a little membership area. Soon I'll be charging for their present.
Or their past that they feel like, God, they didn't love me the way I wanted to be loved. That's how you jack into their mind. That's how this.
Because I think it's too good not to. I am a marketer. This is part of my business. I got to practice what I preach. But I'll tell you what, anybody who gets on my newsletter list, if you're listening and a subscriber to the show, that's great. Or go to baconratbusiness.com or send an email to ask BradaKerrat Business and you'll kind of get grandfathered in to the black label. You're hearing it here first. But I really hope that people listening to this show. This is by far the longest show I've done, but I love talking to you.
I mean, dude, we've been just edit out all the part where you. You were being a little bitch and didn't respond to my question. That's like at least 30 minutes.
Yeah, it probably was a little bit of mumbling and dead air, but it is. No.
I don't even know what to say.
But. And it was funny. As I said, we've been talking even before we hit record, we've been talking.
Literally jack into their soul. That's how you stream direct consciousness to. To them of your message. It's not. Good afternoon, everybody.
For three hours, like, you and I can talk and BS non stop. And I look forward.
You and I. It's dangerous when we get on the phone.
No, I know. Because if we have other things to do that day, they're not gonna get done it. This is way more fun than working.
I mean, in all honesty, we're not allowed to live in the same city because I'm pretty sure I'm going to tell you three stories today. One is going to be a very personal one about my father. Then we're going to talk about a business failure. We're going to finish up and talk to you about. We would be single again because our women would leave us because they would wonder about us.
That's true.
Maybe that's. And they just would. They wouldn't be able to compete.
Maybe that's our strategy. Like. Like the two of us together, we would be so magnetic. We might need bodyguards.
Well, you know, I. I could see something I learned from working at Walt Disney World. Is everybody ready? In a few years, if we lived in the same city, just you and I.
And by. And by that, you mean San Diego, Right?
Right, right, of course. You know, just, you know, people come over and they're like, what are you guys doing today? Brad and I were just gonna cuddle and talk about marketing. Here we go. I'm now going to do a magic trick. You know, like, good God.
Yeah. Is that wrong? Is that weird?
Well, we're just wrapped up in a bacon blanket, you know? Yeah. Two pigs in a blanket.
How's your opt in rate, big boy?
Exactly, exactly.
What's your conversion?
Oh, you know. You want to split test me.
Hey, hey, Mindy, go get us a soda.
Yeah, right. That's gonna go over well.
Yeah, I don't think so. Well, buddy, I really appreciate your time on the show. I encourage every single person listening. Tell you what, like, even if you've never thought about public speaking as a business, you're going to get a lot out of this for any business you're in. And most of the people listening to this show are in business. They're entrepreneurs. They're executives of some sort, or they're trying to be.
Brad, should I do something crazy right now?
Dance, party or dance?
No, no. The first three people that email me. Sean, Shawn stevenson.com. that's. And that's how most people speak. Yeah, most people get up on stage and they say, I'd like to apologize. I'm not that prepared.
Oh, yeah, never apologize.
Never apologize. Because what would you do if you got an airplane in the pilot section? Good afternoon, everybody. I. I got a Sam S D A N at S E A N S T E P H E N s o n dot com. The first three people that email me, I will give them 500 discount to come to my program.
Damn, look at that. And they can buy a lot of bacon with $500.
We're $500. Think about how much bacon they could have. Sorry. I'm sorry that I am really tired today. But they have to email me. And in the subject line, they have to say, friend of Brad.
Nice. Friend of Brad. Send that to sean@sean Stevenson.com. right. Dude, that's really generous. I love dude that pays. That pays for somebody's flight. If they got a fly in. You're basically buying their flight.
There you go. I will buy your flight.
That's amazing. Really hungover.
I didn't get much sleep last night. I was hooking up with this hooker and I'm hoping that the coke has gotten out of my system.
Dude, I really like it. And they'll get to hang out with me, which is, you know, a little bit better than getting to hang out with you.
Way better.
Way better. So we can. And if who those three people. We can all sit in the back and we'll like heckle you from the stage.
Please, please.
But that was really generous of you. I really like that. So the first three people do that. Anybody else?
And buckle up. We're gonna be flying at an altitude of 30,000ft if you don't make it.
If Sean says, too late, too slow, you can still come to the show. Hey, that rhymes. Didn't mean to. But you'll see me. You'll see Sean you'll see some of my mentors. I'm looking forward to meeting several of the folks you've got like Jay, Abraham and Dean and seeing Joe again and some of these people who are the tip top of the market like you.
Would be racing for the eggs. Right, right. And. And that's what's getting world.
But I really, I wanted to get on the show to promote the, you know, the event because you're not. You don't do a lot of these things. So people should be really fortunate to be able to get more of you.
Thank you, brother. And speakers, do they get up on stage and they at least amateurs. They apologize.
So everybody else listening to this. This has been one of my favorite shows. My favorite shows that I do are always the ones that I do alone. Obviously, you know the solo cast, but. I'm kidding. But review the show on itunes.
Wrapping yourself in bacon. Yes.
Share the show and if you're listening on itunes, if you're listening on YouTube or anywhere else, we've got this. Go subscribe to the show.
You'll guys for being nervous, for being not prepared for whatever and they'll even.
Tell you won't miss any more. You can get on my newsletter list@baconratbusiness.com and you can send me any questions that you have, anything you want to know. Send an email to ask bradaconrapped business.com and this has been.
Look at the audience. Who's been that person in your life? Who is that one person that you are starving for or starved in your past?
A lot of fun. I encourage you to go check out Sean. Check out his stuff.
Come to the event for their approval and their admiration.
And if nothing else, go get on Sean's newsletter so you can find out where he's speaking next and what you know he's up to. Sean's mission is to rid the world of insecurity. If you're the least bit insecure about anything in your life, then I think you need a bigger dose of my boy here. So buddy on the program, brother, I appreciate it. We will talk.
They'll try to think they think they're being funny by cracking jokes about how uncomfortable, how uncomfortable they are, they just make it worse.
Yep. Yeah, you're so right. There's so many things that people shouldn't do. There's so many things that just to.
Tell you that you can't get it. You can't seek it really soon.
And thanks a lot.
You bet, brother. Externally, it's not their job to approve of Your life. It's your job to approve of what you do in your life.
They can ruin. Like, oh, guys, I'm not a good public speaker. You know, they start off saying that, or they apologize ahead of time. They.
If you get it from your parents, if you get it from your lover, if you get it from your friends, that's.
Make some of the most boneheaded mistakes just by removing some of those that, you know, we went through.
Wonderful. That's awesome. But if you don't give it to your. And what made that story compelling.
Yeah.
Is I turned. So you're gonna be like an addict searching around for the. The next person to get your next hit of admiration. The camera from me to the audience. And I said, who in your life, Right. Are you starving for admiration and attention? Scene. And that's them. And then all of a sudden, everybody's like, God, that's my uncle, my grandfather, my mother. And now go, right, right, Dude, I.
Should be paying you for this. Wait a minute. I did pay you a lot of money for this.
This is continuation of your payment. The audience, they were already thinking it, but now you've given them permission to say it. So it's. It's taking a story now internally.
Right. And to take this even deeper, you didn't resolve the conflict.
No.
Well, I'm sure you would have resolved that around the end of the speech, maybe. Right. Or just leave them hanging.
The resolution, everybody in the audience would have been. I mean, you were listening to your own audience. You were listening to your own life and enamored.
Yeah.
I watched you like you sat back and watched your own life unfold on stage.
Yeah.
And that's because it could be in a book.
Right.
Resolution could be in a program. Here's the. I walk you through a system. I started off issue. I don't believe in cutting people open, having them bleed to death and be like, hey, I got band aids telling you a story. I said, dad, what can I do to just get your approval? Now I'm thinking, how old is he? Where is he at? I'm. I'm. I'm starving. For more details of the stuff story in my truck for 1995. I don't believe in that. I do believe, though, and saying, hey, like, dude, you gotta admit, you're right. You have me hooked. You started in the middle of the story. You didn't say in pain. And I'm gonna. Because most people try to act like they're not in pain. Yeah, most people act like, welcome, everybody. My name is Brad Costanzo And I'd like to tell you a story about a time like they have it all together. We were just talking about this day, weren't we? Most people act like they have it all together, and those people are the most annoying on the planet. Then when I graduated college, you know, I just didn't get my father's me because I know they're full of it. I know that they are in so much pain that they're trying to prove boring. I'm dead. I'm out. I'm already brain dead to you.
Yep. Audiences check in there, Facebook and their phone.
Whereas when you say, dad, put on a Persona. Look, I'm the first person to say I got issues in my health, my wealth and relationships. And yet I figured out a lot of things, dad, what do I have to. And then there's other things that I figured out, but I'm still not doing right. And so to get you to be proud of me, it's all I want. Now, everybody in the audience, that level of authenticity is what people are craving. People are creating offense, has suspended disbelief. And they're like, oh, I want my mom's approval. I wanted my grandfather's approval. I wanted my uncle. I wanted my wrestling coach. Everybody has at least one person in their life, in their present or their past, that they feel like, God, they didn't love me the way I want to be in leadership more than information and credibility.
Yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't agree more. It's. And it's so. It's so rare out there because there is so much inauthenticity and there's so much noise in the system that when they feel. And you know, with social media, we're more connected, but we're less connected than ever before.
So when you wanted to be loved, that's how you jack into their mind. That's how you jack into their soul. And that's how you stream direct consciousness to them of your message. It's not. Good afternoon, everybody.
You do when you are able to make those emotional connections. And that's one of the strongest part about your. Your speech.
I'm going to tell you three stories today. One's going to be a very personal one about my father. Then we're going to talk about a business failure. We're going to finish up and talk to you about.
You are able to tap into people's emotions and make them feel the ups and the downs on a roller coaster. So, you know, your. The original name of your program was Standing Ovation. Secrets and standing ovations is not about standing ovation system. Right.
Something I learned from working at Walt Disney World. Is everybody ready? Here we go. I'm now going to do a magic trick, you know, like, good God. And that's how most people speak.
Yeah.
Most people get up on stage and they say, I'd like to apologize. I'm not that prepared.
Oh, yeah. And it's not about. In my mind and probably yours, that it's not about. People are giving you a standing ovation because of how awesome you were. They're giving you a stand ovation because of the ride you took them on the journey.
The system I took them. That was a system that I went through as a speaker.
Right.
And I am guaranteed ever apologize, never apologize. Because what would you do if you got an airplane and the pilot said, good afternoon, everybody. I. I gotta say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I am really tired today.
I really hung over.
Didn't get much sleep last night. If people followed my system of the MDMA formula, they, they handle the. And there's little subsets of mark, little subsets of messaging, little subsets of delivery, subsets of marketing, subsets attitude. But I was hooking up with this hooker, and I'm hoping that the coke has gotten out of my system. When you implement them, you could take that Brad Costanzo and buckle up. We're going to be flying at a altitude of 30,000ft like you would be racing for the exit. Right, right. And. And that's what speakers do. They get up on stage and they. At least amateurs, they apologize. White guy with first world problems, get him up on stage, have people crying and people thinking, oh, man, I just need to stop trying to get my father's approval. I need to go out and feel good about myself. And they march out there going, wow, that Brad Costanzo guy is one of the guys for being nervous, for being not prepared for whatever. And they'll even try best speakers alive. Why not? Because you were an amazing speaker. Even though hopefully you were. They'll try to think. They think they're being funny by cracking jokes about how uncomfortable, how uncomfortable they are. They just make it worse.
Yep. Yeah, you're so right. There's so many things that people shouldn't do. There's so many things that just.
But because you had them. Here's what I think public speaking speaking is. I. I came up with this after SOS Public speaking is a transference.
They, they can ruin. Like, oh, guys, I'm not. I'm not A good public speaker, you know, they. They start off saying that they apologize ahead of time. They.
Ideas and a shifting of emotion.
I like that. Make some of the most boneheaded mistakes, but just by removing some of those that, you know, we went through.
And what made that story compelling.
Yeah.
Is I turned. That's all public speaking is. You transfer ideas and you shift emotions.
I think that. Yeah. That's what effective public speaking is. There's a lot of public speaking.
That's what the camera. For me to the audience and I said, who in your life, Right. Are you starving for admiration and attention.
Public speaking.
The rest is talking.
Right.
The effect of public speaking. And then all of a sudden, everybody's like, God, that's my uncle, my grandfather, my mother. And now it's where it's. Because you gotta have both. Because if you just shift emotions, people go out going, wow, that was. Oh, the audience, they were already thinking it, but now you've given them permission to say it internally.
Right. And to take this even deeper, you didn't resolve the conflict.
No.
Well, I'm sure you would have resolved.
That was great. But what did we learn? I don't think we learned anything. And then if you just shared that.
Around the end of this speech, maybe. Right. Or just leave them hanging, the resolution.
Good information. But you don't shift emotions. People go, wow, I learned a lot. But that was really dry.
Yeah. Yeah. That's.
Could be in a book.
Right.
Exhilaration. Could be in a program. Here's the.
It's profound when you. When you make those changes and issue.
I don't believe in cutting people open, having them bleed to death and be like, hey, I got band Aids in my truck for 1995. I don't believe in that. I do believe, though, and as I said, I've.
I've made those in. In small groups. I've used quite a few of your.
And saying, hey, like, dude, you gotta admit you're in pain. And I'm gonna. Because most people try to act like they're not in pain.
Yeah.
Most people act.
Tactics and strategies as well as the. You know, that the deeper work that you've done. And I need to continue to do that deeper work. And that's one of the reasons I'm coming back to the. To the speaking event.
Yeah.
That you've got. Let's. Let's talk a little bit about that.
Because, like, they have it all together. We were just talking about this today, weren't we? Most people act like they have it all together and Those people are the most annoying shitheads on the planet to me because I know they're full of it. I know that they are in so much pain that they're trying to, you.
Know, we started off saying that, listen, one of the things you're doing right.
Now, put on a Persona. Look, I'm the first person to say I got it.
As you're transitioning your life and your business, being on the road is prince to a king. Exactly. And being on the road is hard for you. Right. For a lot of physical reasons. You can't do 40 cities in a year.
I mean she's in my health, my wealth and relationships. And yet I figured out a lot of things and then there's other things that I figured out but I'm still not doing right. And so that level of authenticity is what people are craving. People are creating often.
Exactly. It wears you out. And you'd much rather be at home with your beautiful wife and serving authenticity.
And leadership more than information and credibility.
Yeah, I could people in a way that's much more efficient, effective. And you've transitioned to now. Yeah, being the going from the Jedi to the master, teaching other people how to transferring these skill sets to them. Like you know, you started with a small group. I couldn't agree more. It's. And it's so, it's so rare out there because there is so much inauthenticity and there's so much noise in the system that when they feel and you know with social media we're more connected but we're less connected than ever before. So when you bus and now you're putting on what is looking to be a remarkable event, you've got some of the most world class entrepreneurs, public speakers like just a really diverse group of people. When you are able to make those emotional connections and that's one of the strongest part about your, your speech coming out. What's the real you know. And once more the website if you want to go check this out. If you want some information there's going to be a link on there. But it's Sean stevenson.com. you are able to tap into people's emotions and make them feel the ups and the downs on a roller coaster. So you know your, the original name of your program was stuck Standing Ovation Secrets. And Standing Ovations is not about standing ovation system. Right. And it's not about in my mind and probably yours, that 10k. What's your real goal and mission for this event?
To make the maximum amount of money.
No make money.
I mean, that's my. One of my goals. Yeah. And I'd rather just be transparent about that.
It's not about. People are giving you a standing ovation because of how awesome you were. They're giving you a stand of innovation because of the ride you took them on the journey.
The system I took them. That was a system that I went through as a speaker.
Right.
And I am guaranteed, if people followed. My system of the M is to make the maximum amount of money, but in exchange for creating world leaders.
Yeah. This is not about you.
We were talking about this DMA formula. They. They handle the. Then there's little subsets of.
Mark, you're not trying to make people good public.
No, because if I make good speakers, they'll go out, they'll do one or two speeches, they'll make some money. They'll more than, you know, little subsets of messaging, little subsets of delivery and subsets of marketing, substance, attitude. But when you implement them, you could take that Brad Costanzo 10x their value from coming to the event. But that's not what inspired white guy with first world problems. Get him up on stage, have people crying if he hears me. I don't want more public speakers in this planet. What I want is, I want people that become world leaders. And I don't mean, like, people thinking, oh, man, I just need to stop trying to get my father's approval. I need to go out and feel good about myself. And they march out there going, wow, that Brad Costanzo guy is one of the best speakers alive. Why not? Because you were an amazing speaker, even though hopefully you were political leaders per se. But I mean, they had. But because you had them. Here's what I think public speaking is. I came up with this after SOS Public speaking is a transference of ideas and a shifting of emotion.
I like that.
A mission. They have a message. They've solved a problem in their life that could help many people out there who don't have the solution. For instance, I've met. I met a speaker once who, when. That's all public speaking is, you transfer ideas and you shift emotions.
I think that, yeah, that's what effective public speaking is. There's a lot of public speaking. That's what public speaking.
The rest is talking.
Right.
That effective public speaking. She was 31. She was married for a few years and her husband died and she was 31, and she was a widow. And she was like, wow, this supposed to happen when I'm 67, where. Because you got to have Both. Because if you just shift emotions, people go out going, wow, that was 80, 90 years old. Like, I'm 31. What do I do now? I have this scarlet letter of being a widow. Like, I didn't end my relationship. I love this man. That was great. But what did we learn? I don't think we learned anything. And then if you just shared, am, am I ever going to find a man again? And she couldn't find any support system on good information. But you don't shift emotions. People go, wow, I learned a lot. But that was really dry.
Yeah, yeah, that's. It's profound when you, when you make those changes and grieving.
That made sense to her.
Right. It was all geared towards a tone. As I said, I've. I've made those in. In small groups. I've used quite a few of your totally different situations.
And yet there are people whose husbands are killed in Iraq or wives are killed in battle or, or somebody dies of cancer or, you know, something happens and they lose their partner. And so she created a.
Tactics and strategies as well as the, you know, that the deeper work that you've done and I need to continue to do that deeper work. And that's one of the reasons I'm coming back to the. To the speaking event.
Yeah.
That you've got. Let's. Let's talk a little bit about that. Because.
Brief program for a demographic that wasn't being spoken to.
You know, we started off saying that, listen, one of the things you're doing right now.
And she is a happy, chipper, bright person. She still misses her husband today, but I think she's remarried with kids and, you know, like, she built her whole career around one of the most painful moments of her life. You know, I met.
You're transitioning your life and your business, being on the road.
Prince to a king.
Exactly. And being on the road is hard for you. Right. For a lot of physical reasons. You can't do 40 cities in a year. I mean, it wears. Yeah, exactly. It wears you out. And you'd much rather be at home with your beautiful wife and serving people.
Who were tortured as war criminals. I've met people that were tortured in child abuse cases. I met people who, you know, have gone through horrific things. I met people who lost everything financially.
Who lost people in a way that's much more efficient, effective. And you've transitioned to now. Yeah, being the. Going from the Jedi to the master, teaching other people how to. Transferring these skill sets to them. Like, you know, you started with a.
Small group Everything in their life to natural disaster. I mean, difficult challenges of us.
And now you're putting on what is looking to be a remarkable event. You've got some of the most world class.
They said, that's it. I have a story here. I have a message here.
And then I met entrepreneurs, public speakers, like just a really diverse group of people coming out. What's the real, you know, and once more, the website.
If people who just had a passion for accounting, they had, they didn't survive any airplane crash. They, they didn't have a, you know.
You want to go check this out. If you want some information, there's gonna be a link on there, but it's Sean stevenson.com 10k. What's your real goal and mission for this event?
To make the maximum amount of money.
No, make money.
I mean, that's a third arm coming out of their back. Like there was nothing unique about them physically. They were so passionate about accounting. They knew that there was ways that people could legally save more money and keep more money in their family that was rightfully theirs. And man, my, one of my goals. Yeah. And I'd rather just be transparent about that. They were passionate about that and you couldn't shut them up about it. And so they became to make the maximum amount of money, but in exchange for creating world leaders.
Yeah. This is not about you. We were talking about this. You're not trying to make people good public.
No, because if I make good speakers, they'll go out, they'll do one or two speeches, they'll make some money. They'll more than, you know, edible accounting speakers. And they saved companies and individuals a lot of money. And that was their, that was their mission.
Yeah. And it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be all super emotional.
It doesn't have 10x their value from coming to the event. But that's not what inspired me. I always have to be motivational. Yeah, I, I'm, I got a lot of lawyers and doctors me, I don't want more public speakers in this planet. What I want is I want people that become world leaders. And I don't mean like political leaders per se, but I mean, they have, I have a lot of people coming to this event who may never do a single keynote presentation in their life, but they know that they have to get good at presenting.
Right.
Everybody at some point in their life has to make a presentation. Whether it's a webinar, whether it's a small group of 10 people. We have a mission. They have A message. They've solved a problem in their life that could help many people out there who don't have the solution. For instance, I've met. I met a speaker once who. When. That's investors. Whether they have to make a pitch, whether they have to. Anytime you have to transfer an idea and shift in emotion, you need to be good at speaking.
Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. So you're going to, you're going to bring people into it. It's a three day workshop, right? Three or four.
It's two and a half.
Two and a half.
Cool. Starts on the 13th, registration and then 14, 15 all day and it's over on noon on the 16th.
Nice. So we. Because I'm going to be there.
Yeah.
We are going to be listening to you break down your system. I'm sure. I'm quite positive we're going to be doing some activities and work to bring out our own stories. I have a feeling it's not going to be a completely complacent. Sit back and take one way relationship. One way relationship. I know you too good too well for that. We are going. You've got some guest speakers lined up as well, right?
Yeah, yeah. Some of the best. You know, I've got my wife, Mindy Knist is an incredible speaker. You saw her awesomeness festival. Yep. And she was also in my apprenticeship program.
How much did she have to pay to get on that stage?
Yeah, let me tell you, it was. It was a hefty fee. She probably ended up paying a lot more than you did.
That's probably. She can't get away.
So anyway, she's gonna be talking about stage presence. She has an incredible stage presence.
Yeah, she does.
We'll be talking about that. We have Jay Abraham, one of the best marketers alive.
Yep.
Talk about positioning. We got Joe Polish, one of the best networkers alive. Dean Graziosi, one of the best sales people alive. Larry Wingett, one of the best speakers alive.
Seiko Andrews.
Seiko Andrews, one of the best poets alive. Talking about using the spoken word. Kyle Cease, one of the best comedians.
One of the funniest motivational.
Have you met him?
Yeah, I met him at a couple times. I can't remember where maybe awesome is fest or something like that.
So it's, it's who I consider my mentors. Right. I have reached out to over the years and I wanted to gather them in one room for everybody to have access to because I could talk to you for days. But why not learn from my mentors and me at the Same time right now.
It's. I, I'm so looking forward to it. Just not only the, you know, the content, which will be a great refresher for me. I kind of feel like I'm at an advantage because for me it'll be a refresher. Although I know you're adding a lot.
More stuff that actually everybody that goes through this program.
Yep.
Gets the program that you went through.
Oh, nice.
Granted, they weren't there for the live training. Yeah. So they didn't get to ask questions and all that. But they get the recordings of everything that you went through.
Yeah. And spend a heck of a lot less invest.
I mean, four grand.
Yeah.
People are paying 1497.
Yeah. Yeah. That's cheap. And they get the benefit of not only interacting with other speakers, your mentors, some of the top people in the business, but this business is where, you know, it's. Relationships are made. You know, we're not. I don't want to dive in too much into the advocate marketing tactics or strategy that you have on here because I want to save that for the people who get their butts to your. To your event. Plus I kind of want to keep that one in my pocket because it is so freaking powerful. You know, they, they say it's who you know, but I think, I think it's the relationships you grow.
Yeah.
And I've never. Yeah. And it's. I've never seen such a powerful tactic. Call it a tactic strike because it's a, It's a strategy. It's a long game for, for growing. I don't even say relationships for growing rock solid bonds that can help advocates that. It's a strategy that you employ that absolutely anybody can duplicate. It is not rocket science. It is very easy to do and it is one of the most effective.
And I learned it in a book for like five bucks.
Right. It's. It's worth thousands. It is worth thousands, guys. I'm telling.
Hundreds of thousands to me every year.
If, if hopefully this part is either on the recording of the, the folks who do get the, the course that I went through. Right. All the, all the recordings. So I remember when you did that. One of the first things I said.
Is, I said that was worth the price. I said right there, boom, that's my four grand.
Yep.
Four grand. That paid my four grand.
I would have paid for that idea alone and I would not have come up with it myself. I'm a very good network. I've asked a couple people, what am I known for? And.
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